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Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8

Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9




on stage ‘A Kind of Weather’ Diversionary Theatre C12 on stage ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show C14


Conversations with Nicole C7 My Good Tootie C10

Life Beyond Therapy C8


Big Mike & Friends C9

Out of the Archives C15

The Bar Social Scene There’s a fine line between flirting and coercion!C18

Introducing Our New Columnists Powerful Black Women C11

Mr. San Diego Eagle 2020 An entire weekend of love, leather and shenanigans! C19





Bayard Rustin at age 71 in London’s Trafalgar Square, 1983. (Photo by Walter Naegle courtesy of the Estate of Bayard Rustin.)

Emperor I Omar and Empress I Tawny Tawn (Courtesy photo)

The Imperial Court de san Diego

governor petitioned to pardon


Celebrating 47 years of noble deeds

by lGbTQ san Diego County news


an. 21, 2020 was the 67th anniversary of the entrapment and arrest of black civil rights leader Bayard Rustin on morals charges in Pasadena, California. State Senator Scott Weiner held a press conference in the state Capitol calling upon Governor Gavin Newsom to issue a posthumous pardon. Senator Weiner was joined at the press conference by the Black Legislators Caucus and the LGBTQ Caucus (which Assembly member Todd Gloria is state vice-chair of) and also spoke at the news conference. San Diego Assemblywoman

Shirley Weber also gave remarks as well as San Diego City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez, who is the founder and national chairman of the campaign to get a Bayard Rustin his own U.S. postage stamp (Commissioner Ramirez was also the national chair of the Harvey Milk U.S. Postage Stamp Campaign). The National LGBTQ Task Force and the International Imperial Courts System are co-sponsors of the Bayard Rustin National Stamp Campaign. bayard Rustin continues on C2

2019 Tantrums & Tiaras’ Cockettes (Engagement Celebration Photos)

Tantrums & Tiaras 2020 sashays Into the New Decade faQs and news you Can use by m.G. Perez senior Reporter

by lGbTQ san Diego County news


antrums & Tiaras is not a traditional “drag” show — it is a full-scale stage production. The magic of the event is watching some of San Diego’s finest bar personalities transform into drag divas for the first time! Its premise is simple: Six Hillcrest bars volunteer one representative who will compete for the crown by strutting across the stage in swimwear, evening gowns and performing during the talent section. It’s an evening filled with big wigs, runny mascara and broken heels.

n 1972, members of San Diego LGBTQ community started organizing the Imperial Court de San Diego Chapter of the International Imperial Court System, which was founded in 1965 in San Francisco. Plans were being made to produce a coronation ball, elect and crown San Diego’s first emperor and empress, and invite other court chapters in the United States and Canada to attend. There was only one big problem: homosexuality was illegal and the organizers knew that no hotel would rent their ballroom to a homosexual organization, as we were considered deviants and perverts. So, the group lied to the Royal Inn Hotel, then located across the Star of India ship in downtown San Diego. Organizers told the hotel management that it was a masquerade charity ball for about 500 people — and the rest is history. More than two dozen LGBTQ San Diegans filed and became candidates for emperor and empress in 1973 and it was a most fun, colorful, fierce campaign that resulted in the election and crowning of then-Brass Rail manager Omar Lowry and ShowBiz Supper Club’s leading stage star, the beautiful African American drag queen Tawny Tawn. The coronation attracted well over 500 people, all dressed to the nines in tuxes and gowns, and the drag queens were especially brave because they could have been arrested for “crossdressing” (which was against the law and in fact, two San Diego empresses were indeed arrested for that violation years later).

Tantrums continues on C3

The imperial Court continues on C2



1299 CAMINO DEL RIO SOUTH | 619.906.5546




Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9



bayard Rustin continued from Page 1

The imperial Court continued from Page 1

Bayard Rustin and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Credit: (Photo by Monroe Frederick courtesy of the Estate of Bayard Rustin) King Father I of the America’s Emperor Terry Sidie (Courtesy photo)

Current San Diego Empress Gigi Masters, Queen Mother of the Americas Nicole Murray Ramirez and current San Diego Emperor Darnelle Williams (Courtesy photo)

In 1973, there were no established LGBTQ organizations. The Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) and Dignity were beginning to become organized, and Jess Jessop was dreaming and talking about a “San Diego Gay Center” like the one Los Angeles had. The Imperial Court de San Diego (then called the Royal Court) under Emperor I Omar and Empress I Tawny Tawn began holding court membership meetings, holding drag shows to benefit the struggling LGBTQ organizations and, in fact, the Imperial Court paid for Jess Jessop’s infamous phone answering machine that was a hotline for the makeshift “Gay Center” he had in his apartment. The Imperial Court raised $10,000 for Dignity in those early years and held benefits for both the MCC and the Center. In 1974, the “Baroness” Nicole, Jess Jessop and attorney Tom Homann went downtown to the police department to obtain a permit for our first Gay Pride March and were refused. In the 1970s, the Imperial Court raised thousands of dollars for the fledging Pride parades, for the emerging Being Alive, San Diego Democratic Club, sports clubs and countless causes including campaigns against homophobic Anita Bryant and John Briggs. In 1975, thenEmpress Nicole and Emperor Jim Nolan hosted an event with Lt. Governor Mervyn Dymally and special guest Jane Fonda at the Barbary Coast Disco, then on Pacific Highway. Empress Nicole, Jess Jessop, Jeri Dilno, Tom Humann, Bridgette Wilson, Don Johnson, Rev. David Farrell, and Al Smithson were all becoming well-known LGBTQ activists and, in fact, San Diego Magazine called Empress Nicole “One of San Diego’s best known homosexuals”! In 1979, the Imperial Court de San Diego gathered hundreds of toys from the LGBTQ community for the

annual Marine Toys for Tots drive and at that time, when the Marines found out that the toys were from the homosexual community, they refused to accept them. So the Imperial Court de San Diego started its own annual Toys for Kids toy drive that benefits numerous nonprofits throughout San Diego County. In the last 47 years, the Imperial Court de San Diego has raised millions of dollars for countless LGBTQ organizations and civil rights causes. They annually produce the Children’s Easter Egg Hunt, the Scott Carlson/Dan Ferbal Thanksgiving Community Dinner, Blanket and Clothing Drive, and established the Toni Atkins Lesbian Health Fund, the Queen Eddie Youth Fund, Nicky Awards, Harvey Milk/Nicole Murray Ramirez Scholarship Program (founded in 1979 and the first in the nation), Tijuana Assistance Fund, Grocery Hearts Food Campaign, Ben F. Dillingham Grant, etc. Empress Nicole and Jess Jessop established a close bond between The Center and the Court that still exists today. Many San Diego emperors and empresses have become well-known activists in the LGBTQ community like Empress Lala Too, Empress Roxie Bleau, Emperor Tom Dickerson, Empress A.Jax, Emperor Mike Lochner, Empress Candi Samples, Empress Julia Legaspi, Emperor Craig Morgan, Empress Summer Meadows, Emperor Tonu Puente and Emperor Summer Lee (both lesbian emperors) and many others. In 2007, the founder of the International Imperial Court System, World War II veteran Jose Julio Sarria (who, in 1961, became the first openly gay candidate to run for public office), crowned Empress Nicole the Great as her heir and successor in Seattle, Washington, as Queen Mother I of the Americas and now Nicole is the titular leader of the oldest LGBT organization

in the world with 70 chapters in cities throughout the U.S., Canada and Mexico. During Nicole’s 13-year reign, the Queen Mother and other Imperial Court chapters have led successful national campaigns that have resulted with a Harvey Milk U.S. Postage Stamp, National LGBTQ Wall of Honor in the historic Stonewall Inn in New York, the USNS Harvey Milk, and the ongoing national campaign for a Bayard Rustin U.S. Postage Stamp. San Diego will also be hosting the annual meeting of the International Imperial Court Council for two days. One of the historic highlights of the coronation evening will be the anointing and crowning of Emperor Terry Sidie (this newspapers publisher) of Sacramento as KING FATHER I OF THE AMERICAS, thus Nicole’s Royal Husband of State. Currently, Reign XLVII has Emperor Darnelle Williams and Empress Gigi Masters (presidents of membership) and Prince Royale Duncan Stuart (one of many active military court members over the years) and Princess Royale Rickie Brown (vice president of membership). Emperor Darnelle and Empress Gigi will be stepping down at Coronation XLVIII on Feb. 8 and hoping to be elected are Randy Saunders Too (emperor candidate) and Pepper Diamond (empress candidate). “Three Nations are coming to San Diego on Feb. 8 to celebrate San Diego’s 48th Imperial Court Coronation Ball and the whole LGBTQ community, friends and allies are all invited,” stated Emperor Darnelle. Coronation XLVIII is taking place on Feb. 8, at 5:30 p.m. at the Crown Plaza San Diego in Mission Valley, 2270 Hotel Circle North, San Diego, CA 92108. For tickets and a list of the entire weekend’s events, please visit ImperialCourtSanDiego.com or contact Empress Lala Too at 619-254-6372.

Bayard Rustin (left) and his partner Walter Naegle in July 1982. ( Photo courtesy of Walter Naegle/Estate of Bayard Rustin)

Members of the LGBTQ+ Legislative and the Black Caucuses petition Governor Newsom to clear the record of Civil Rights Icon Bayard Rustin at teh State Capital. (Courtesy photo)

Bayard Rustin was openly homosexual in the 1950s and ’60s when being gay was not only illegal but homosexuality was considered deviant and perverted and many LGBTQ Americans were actually committed to state mental hospitals just for being gay. Rustin was the primary architect of the 1963 March on Washington, was a mentor and close friend of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and was actually the main planner of the Montgomery, Alabama bus boycott. It was Rustin who introduced Dr. King to Gandhi’s principles of nonviolent resistance. Homophobia and racism were both alive and well when Rustin was arrested. In fact, the two white men who were arrested with Rustin on Jan. 21, 1953, were released from the police station while Rustin spent 50 days in jail. He is considered one of the most prolific organizers of the black civil rights movement. Assemblywoman Weber, who is the chair of the California Black Caucus, stated that without Bayard Rustin, there would not have been the March on Washington, the bus boycott or the Selma demonstration. Senator Weiner stated that Rustin’s arrest was really about him and so many other

homosexuals being victims of homophobia. Commissioner Ramirez praised Senator Weiner for acting so quickly after the two met last year in San Francisco concerning the Bayard Rustin National Stamp Campaign. It was Senator Weiner who came up with the idea of petitioning the governor. And we will always be grateful for his leadership on this issue, stated Commissioner Ramirez, who also read a letter from Rustin’s surviving partner Walter Naegle. Neagle is a civil rights advocate in his own right and on Nov. 20, 2013, he accepted the Medal of Freedom from President Barack Obama in honor of Rustin’s life’s work. He and Sally Ride’s partner, Tam O’Shaughnessy, were the first LGBTQ partners to accept the award for their late partners. The annual Bayard Rustin Honors will be held March 13, 2020. This event honors LGBTQ African American activists and allies and is sponsored by the Imperial Court de San Diego and the LGBT Community Center. For more information on the Bayard Rustin National Stamp Campaign or Rustin Honors, please call 619-241-5672 or 619-737-7326 or visit thecenter.org or imperialcourtsandiego.com.



Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8

Tantrums continued from Page 1



RiChaRD TRiniDaD insideouT

PaTRiCk holihan urban mo’s Matt Ramon ( Courtesy photo)

Paul ZalDivaR Flicks

Ian Johnson ( Ce Ce Canton Photography)

MaTT RaMon Producer, director, co-founder

Ian JoHnson Director of development at The Center, co-producer

How long has this event been going on and what can we expect this year? We started the show in 2009. You can expect the same over-the-top, politically incorrect and absolutely fun drag performances with a sprinkle of talent and lots of heart. It’s a sell out every year. We have room for up to 1,000 people.

This is a fundraiser for The san Diego LGBT Center. How much has been raised in the past? In the past six years, over $250,000 has been raised for The Center’s programs and services through Tantrums & Tiaras.

Your website mentions you can support the event by bringing your checkbook and writing a message. What kinds of messages? Whenever someone donates money over $200, either by check or credit card, they can write a note that will be read out loud by our fabulous Hostess Babette Schwartz. Lots of donations are also made by throwing money in fishnets passed out by our crew of Cockettes! What more would you like to add? This is a community fun-raiser and without the help of the community, this event would not exist. Most of all, Ian Johnson and Chris Barone are my right hands in putting this event together. We can’t forget the person who keeps the show together with her presence and wit, Babette Swartz.

2019 Tantrums & Tiaras event pictures (Courtesy of Engagement Celebration Photos)

laWRenCe bRoWn baja betty’s

Does all the money raised benefit The Center? There are some production costs associated with the show that are largely covered with the help of our partners. Additional funds raised at the show go to support The Center’s programs and services. are donations this year targeted for specific programs? Donations from Tantrums & Tiaras impact all of the programs of The Center. One of the amazing things about the show is that some contestants link their character to a specific program here at The Center that they are passionate about and want to highlight.

eRik benson #1 on Fifth

Get more information at tantrumstiaras.org.

anDRes valDes Rich’s



COUrT News

Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9


Man Pleads guilty in brutal killing spree of homeless, inCluding one gay man by neal Putnam


on David Guerrero pleaded guilty Monday to killing four people in a series of attacks on homeless people including a man who had attended Metropolitan Community Church in 2016. Guerrero admitted to the first-degree murder of Angelo DeNardo, 53, who was the first person killed in the series on July 3, 2016, as he slept under a bridge near Mission Bay. He attended MCC for two years. Deputy District Attorney Makenzie Harvey said Guerrero, 42, will be sentenced to four consecutive life terms in prison plus 143 years. The guilty pleas taken by San Diego Superior Court Judge Ken So cancels a June trial, which would have lasted two months. Guerrero spoke with a raspy voice through a medical mask as he had the flu. The judge asked him several times to repeat his guilty pleas because he could not speak very well. So set sentencing for May 1. Guerrero’s guilty pleas to first-degree murder also included victims Shawn Longley, 41, who died in Ocean Beach; Dionisio Vahidy, 23, who died downtown; and Molly Simons, 83, the only person who was not homeless who was attacked

in North Park. Guerrero also admitted a special circumstance of multiple murders. Guerrero’s parents attended the hearing and spoke with one victim, Michael Papadelis, 58, who survived. Papadelis David Guerrero, 42, pleaded guilty Monday to 15 felonies, including four counts of murde. (Courtesy photo) told them, “I think there’s finally closure” with the guilty pleas. was glad the DA’s office did not seek “I don’t hate Jon,” said Papadelis to the death penalty in a long trial. Guerrero’s mother. “I’m happy to be “What a very sad case of the chalalive. I’m a survivor.” lenges of mental health in our society. Several victims were killed with No winners here,” said Litzenberger. railroad spikes hammered into their “This was truly a tragedy where both heads. Guerrero also pleaded guilty to sides had victims.” arson in setting fire to two bodies, and The judge granted a defense request eight counts of attempted murder and to send Guerrero temporarily to Patassault of victims who survived. ton State Hospital where he had been Police found DeNardo’s faded birth undergoing psychiatric treatment with certificate, bus pass, credit card, and medications. He will return to jail bedriver’s license that had been stolen by fore sentencing to prison. Guerrero and in his possession when he Papadelis told reporters he was was arrested on July 15, 2016. sleeping outside at 4:30 a.m. when he Attorney Jude Litzenberger, who was struck in the face with an object was a teacher of a class at MCC that that fractured his jaw and nose. He was DeNardo attended, said Monday she blinded in one eye, and both eyes were


fter 2 1/2 days of deliberations, a jury convicted a bisexual man Monday of the first-degree murder of Peter Bentz, a gay Ocean Beach man whose body has never been found. Deputy District Attorney Jeffrey Dort said Brian Eleron Hancock, 49, will have to serve a minimum of 25 years in prison before he could become eligible for parole. Dort said Hancock faces a sentence of 85 years to life in part because of his prior convictions for arson in 1999 and residential burglary in 2003. “I’m totally satisfied,” said the victim’s brother, Kirk Bentz, after the verdict. “This is the correct and just verdict for Peter.” Bentz, 68, was last seen leaving a gym on Nov. 21, 2017. No credit card or internet activity has surfaced since then. His blood was found in 17 locations in his apartment. Kirk Bentz testified as the trial’s first witness and said his brother failed to show up at his home for Thanksgiving after dropping out of sight. San Diego Superior Court Judge Joan Weber set sentencing for Feb. 26. Hancock remains in jail without bail.“Brian Hancock brutally killed Peter Bentz,” said Dort afterward. “The verdict is appropriate, based on the evidence.” The seven-woman, five-man jury didn’t stick around afterward and attorneys did not talk to them. They began deliberations Jan. 22 in a trial that started Jan. 7. “The San Diego Police Department did an incredible job, piecing together a case no one knew about based on cell phone records and credit card receipts,” said Dort, who described it as “an airtight, circumstantial evidence case.” Jimmy Rodriguez, Hancock’s attorney, had argued for acquittal, saying Bentz may be in Mexico and the prosecution had not proved its case. He did not comment afterward.

Peter Bentz (Courtesy photo)

Bisexual Man Convicted of 1st-degree murder of gay man by neal Putnam Hancock, an electrician, denied killing Bentz, whom he described as a sexual partner after meeting him to do electrical work in his Ocean Beach apartment. Hancock testified Bentz videotaped them having sex, but no video of it could be found. Dort argued to jurors that Hancock wanted revenge for secretly videotaping him and another woman having sex in Bentz’s apartment. A woman testified that she watched the two men have sex and then she and Hancock engaged in sex. The woman testified someone sent her a video that she could not open and she thought it was a video of Hancock and her engaging in sex. She said Hancock told her he would talk to Bentz about it.

Another woman said Hancock told her he stabbed Bentz seven times. And his wife testified he threw a bag of Bentz’s identification and other items off a freeway. A napkin containing Bentz’s blood and Hancock’s DNA was found in the bag that was strewn along Interstate 5 near Logan Heights. Hancock was seen on video using Bentz’s credit cards and driving his car after he disappeared. Hancock testified that Bentz told him he was going to Mexico for a vacation and claimed he was in contact with Bentz for five days after he disappeared. He said he had Bentz’s permission to use his credit cards and his car. Bentz is believed to have been buried in Campo because Hancock’s phone pinged in a stationary location for 4 1/2

swollen shut for three weeks. “His whole life he has suffered mental illness,” said Papadelis, referring to Guerrero. Papadelis said he was no longer homeless and would make a statement at the sentencing. Harvey said the closest statement to a motive by Guerrero came when one victim asked him why he attacked him. “Because you’re a bum,” Guerrero told one victim. MCC held a memorial service for not only DeNardo, but also in memory of the other victims. “Knowing Angelo has changed me,” said Litzenberger at his funeral. “I know more about how to advocate now. I listen more without judgement.”

hours on Nov. 24, 2017. A tag for a tool was found in Campo that Hancock had purchased with Bentz’s credit cards, according to testimony. Angelina Hancock, his wife, testified her husband wanted “to transport Peter’s body” in new boxes she had purchased. She testified under a grant of immunity after signing an agreement with the DA’s office. In a conversation Angelina Hancock had with her husband in jail, she said “he discussed burying Peter.” She recalled him asking her, “did you tell them where?” and that meant “where he buried the body.” “I told him I didn’t know where,” said his wife. Angelina Hancock testified she first learned of the sexual relationship between her husband and Bentz after reading a sexually oriented text from Bentz on Hancock’s phone while he was in the shower. “As he recently shared with me about his relationship with Peter, it’s something I can’t provide for him,” said his wife. Hancock claimed he showed up at Bentz’s apartment and found him making an erotic movie with three other men. He claimed he was offered $3,000 to co-star in the movie and that he went home and discussed it with his wife. “How’d that go?” asked Dort. “Not well,” replied Hancock. “I told her I was making a video, a group sex video ... She was very upset with that information. She was still livid, disgusted.” Dort called Angelina Hancock back to the stand and she testified her husband never had that conversation with her. She married him 20 years ago, but they are now divorced. Hancock’s sentence for murder is 25 years, and the judge could add 50 years for the two previous convictions plus five years.




Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8


“You Can sit with us.”

by alex C. villafuerte (Courtesy photos)


e hear far too many in our community talk about how “easy kids have it these days,” but the reality is that the hyper-polarized political climate our country is experiencing affects our youngest as well. When media outlets take time to disparage our community, those sentiments are parroted back to our youth by family, friends at school, faculty, and institutions of faith — so much so that more than 70% of all LGBTQ youth report being verbally harassed because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Bullying and harassment can surge when election cycles ramp up “gaybaiting” tactics like we’ve seen in San Diego recently, and when anti-LGBTQ bills are introduced and reported on by the media, like the bill seeking to criminalize drag queens reading books to children in Missouri. Our youth needs more safe spaces to be able to be themselves and take pride in who they are. In 2012, LGBTQ youth volunteers asked us to create a Youth Leadership Academy (YLA) designed just for them, so they could begin to be their own agents of change. The one-day academy brings youth together from across the region to engage, educate, and inspire our youngest leaders. From there, YLA was used as a launching point, and those youth came back to envision their own programs while San Diego Pride committed to securing the funds, volunteers, and space to make those programs happen. Lunch Bunch was born, a place where youth from around the region come together every second Saturday of the month to form their own programs and curriculum, to develop as young leaders, and to simply enjoy a cost-free and stress-free lunch surrounded by their LGBTQ peers. Our motto is “You can sit with us.” In 2019, the youth decided to update Lunch Bunch’s name to the Pride Youth Collective

in the spirit of coming together from across the county to continue building community and capacity for themselves. We were also approached by the McCarthy Foundation, which helped us fund our first youth programs coordinator, M. Valladolid, to help oversee and grow our programs. Our youth leaders continue to ask for more opportunities, which is how “Fridays at Pride” came to be. This weekly event is a space where youth get together at the end of the week to check in with each other at the Pride office, assist each other with homework, and continue to invite other queer youth into the programs. Some of the programs created out of discussions during Fridays at Pride are our annual youth events including the Youth Art Show. The youth sought to showcase young local LGBTQ artists using art as a positive form of expression and as a tool for advocacy. Artists are asked to submit their personal interpretation of our annual theme, which in 2020 is “Together We Rise.” On March 14, these young artists will host a reception at the Pride building and welcome our community to enjoy their hard work and creative vision. Our youth leaders work year-round to plan our youth programs, including our youth events during Pride weekend, ensuring our youth have a space to call their own. At the parade, we have our Pride Youth Marching Band, which brings together youth from all over Southern California. To this day, it is still the only queer youth marching band and color guard in the country. They are a consistent crowd favorite and even perform at OUT at the Park with the San Diego Padres, at San Diego Unified School District events, and at our Spirit of Stonewall Rally. We also have studentled school organizations march together in our Gay-Straight Alliance/Gender-Sexuality Alliance (GSA) contingent. At

the festival, high school-aged youth and younger enjoy free admission into the festival and even have a space to call their own: The Youth Zone. This space is solely for youth with resources and events designed just for them. Recently, in partnership with the San Diego Women’s Chorus and artistic director Lindsey Deaton, San Diego Pride helped start the San

Diego Queer Youth Chorus. They’ve performed at Light Up the Cathedral, the San Diego Pride Festival, and are joining Jason Mraz in February for his concert at Spreckels Theatre! What started with a handful of youth asking for support has grown into robust year-round youth programs. Last year, we were able to host more than 3,300 youth visits. I couldn’t be more proud of our young lead-

Vote Councilmember


ers and the intergenerational efforts that support them. Their collective efforts create intentional space for our youth to revel in found family, build capacity, and unapologetically indulge in being radically and absolutely 100% their true authentic selves. That is Pride. That is how “Together We Rise.”


Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9

DIsTrICT aTTOrNeY News summer stephan —District Attorney Summer Stephan has dedicated more than 29 years to serving justice and victims of crime as prosecutor. She is a national leader in fighting sex crimes and human trafficking and in creating smart and fair criminal justice solutions and restorative justice practices that treat the underlying causes of addiction and mental illness and that keep young people from being incarcerated.


s your district attorney, I’m committed to increasing communication and accessibility between the DA’s Office and you, the community. One way I have been doing that is through this monthly column, where I provide consumer tips on public safety matters. Maybe one of your New Year’s resolutions is to find a new job. With the days of seeking employment through classified ads in the rear-view mirror, most of us opt for searching for work online. And of course, there are a plethora of companies that vow to make this journey less stressful by directly connecting employers to potential employees. LinkedIn is a company that seeks to make job hunting easier by serving a social network tailored to professionals. It allows working professionals to stay connected with other professionals in their field and to message and send relevant opportunities to one another. As with anything where technology is involved, scammers have found a way to use this social media site for far more nefarious purposes than originally intended. This scam involves shady characters assuming the identity of a prospective employer and connecting with interested candidates for a job opening. As these bogus employers message others on Linke-



LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458

Job hunters Beware of LinkedIn scammers

PUBLISHER Terry Sidie ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619-241-5672 CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news (Photo by rawpixel.com)

dIn, those who respond are soon persuaded to buy supplies and equipment that they falsely believe is vital to their new job. Some scammers even go as far as interviewing job candidates in an attempt to further legitimize their swindle. In some cases, job candidates are coerced into revealing sensitive personal information such as their social security number, which is then used for identity fraud. HeRe aRe soMe WaYs You Can PRevenT faLLInG PReY on JoBseaRCHInG sITes: • Always research any company contacting you. • Seek other forms of verification from the recruiter including their company email, employee information on the company website, and a company phone number. • The email used by the company recruiter should always be a company-affiliated email, not a public email like Gmail, Yahoo, or Hotmail. • Examine the profile of

the recruiter contacting you. Scammers sometimes impersonate real employees at real companies. • Authentic LinkedIn emails have a security footer at the bottom of every email that says who the email was intended for along with the recipient’s current job and company. Although this footer is not a guarantee the email is legitimate, if it is not present, do not click any links. • A fake profile will often have a very small amount of connections, have large amounts of information missing on their profile, and be connected to a public email. • If a recruiter offers you a job without interviewing you, has a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes in their messages, and offers you a salary significantly above the market rate, this is a red flag that you could be getting scammed. • Lastly, if a recruiter asks you buy equipment or invest any amount of money before hiring you, they are running a scam.

EDITOR editor@lgbtqsd.news

The most important rule to follow is to never give any money to anyone you’ve connected with on social media. A legitimate business would never force an employee to commit funds before hiring them.


noW, WHaT HaPPens If You foLLoWeD aLL THIs aDvICe BuT sTILL ManaGeD To fInD YouRseLf In a LInkeDIn sCaM? • Send the suspicious email or message to phishing@ linkedin.com. • Delete the email/message from your account. • If you clicked on any of the links in the email, run your antivirus/spyware software to find and remove any type of malicious software. • If you gave out any form of personal information such as a password or bank account number to a scammer, make sure to reset your password and /or contact your bank. • File a complaint with the local Better Business Bureau and report the fraudulent company.

COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich

SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619-807-7324

WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Big Mike Phillips Benny Cartwright Korie Houston Michael Kimmel Robert Leyh Connor Maddocks Bob Morris Ian Morton Kevin Perry Neal Putman Tootie Romeo San Vicente DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2020. All rights reserved.

OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff. SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email. Copyright © 2020 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.



Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8

Conversations with Nicole My friend gets diagnosed with lung cancer


uring those early dark years of AIDS in the 1980s, I received many phone calls every month from friends telling me they had been diagnosed with AIDS and during that time, the concept of AIDS=DEATH was a reality. Now I get more calls from friends, both men and women, diagnosed with cancer. Last week, a friend called me very upset, naturally, because at the age of 34, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. So, we got together and I tried to comfort him as much as I could since he was scheduled to begin chemotherapy the following week and was certain he was going to lose all his thick, dark hair and then everyone would know he had cancer. And he didn’t want even his family to know. What struck me was when he told me he had been smoking since he was 13 years old! And yes, the doctor told him his daily smoking habit was definitely the cause of his lung cancer. After I spent an afternoon with him, he agreed to let his family and close friends know so he would have a support group during this time. We both cried and I put him on my daily prayer list. People, please listen up! Smoking cigarettes and vaping does cause cancer! There are so many young people I see out in public who have started smoking and vaping. Studies show that individuals in the LGBTQ community smoke at a higher percentage than the heterosexual community. Take those antismoking TV ads seriously! Talk to your friends who smoke; don’t wait until it’s too late. I know quitting smoking isn’t easy, but you have to keep trying because SMOKING=CANCER. Thank you for listening.

Nicole Murray ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

(Photo by rawpixel.com)

This just in! Mayor Jackie Biskupski of Salt Lake City, Utah and Mayor Robert Garcia of Long Beach, California will be honored at the annual HARVEY MILK DIVERSITY BREAKFAST of San Diego County on May 22nd!!!

(Photo by rawpixel.com)

Bayard rustin honors: March 13 Mark your calendar for Friday, March 13, for the annual celebration of LGBTQ Black Pride and honoring LGBTQ African Americans and allies. Plus, the Mr., Miss and Ms. Black Pride San Diego Contest will also be held. This year’s honorees are Malcolm X Library, Damon Sheafer, Christina Griffin-Jones and Professor Ernie McCray. There will be great entertainment, authentic soul food and some surprises. Carolina Ramos and I are the proud founders of these awards and turned them over to a LGBTQ African American committee. This event is a benefit for the National Bayard Rustin U.S. Postage Stamp Campaign and is sponsored by the Imperial Court de San Diego and the San Diego LGBT Community Center. For further info: Darnelle at 619-737-7326.

Mayor Jackie Biskupski (courtesy photo)

Mayor Robert Garcia (courtesy photo)

The Imperial Court is a proud sponsor of kyle Lopez in The Recovery Ride 2020 that supports Stepping Stone of San Diego. (Photo by Big Mike Phillips)

san Diego’s LgBTQ+ Most eligible singles Our next issue on Feb. 13 will feature “San Diego’s Most Eligible LGBTQ+ Singles.” Do you have someone you would like to nominate? Let me know: nICoLeMRsD1@gmail.com. (Graphic by rawpixel.com)

The ‘homelessness’ issue Near the top of every voter’s surveyed list of concerns is the growing homelessness issue, especially in the local campaigns. As many of you know, I do a lot of traveling and every city I have been to is grappling with this serious issue. I believe Mayor Kevin Faulconer’s proposed statewide ballot initiative is a good, solid one. I strongly urge you to vote “yes” on Prop C on March 3. Faulconer is right — many of the homeless struggle with mental health issues or drug addiction; we see it every day in Hillcrest and all over the county. Our LGBTQ Community Center is doing its best trying to cope with this issue and the homeless encampment (which grows almost every day) around it without being cruel. I believe the issue of homelessness is a national crisis and should be declared as such.



Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9



w hY I s ev erYONe s O aNx I OUs ?

LIFe BeYOND TheraPY Michael Kimmel —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.


hese are difficult times and we can’t blame it all on Trump! Have you noticed how anxious, worried and edgy most people are lately? Have you experienced these feelings yourself? If so, you can relax. You’re “normal” (that’s not a word I often use, but sometimes it’s useful). These are difficult times. I am 66 years old and have never lived in a world where there are so many legitimate reasons to be anxious. Many — if not most — of us are very worried. Last week, I saw an Advocate editorial titled, “If Trump Is Reelected What Will We Do?” and my blood ran cold. The starkness of that possibility just threw me for a loop, and my anxiety went way up. And we can’t blame it all on Trump. As tempting as that may be, most of us have plenty of other reasons to be anxious. For simplicity’s sake, I’d like to break them down into two categories: Personal anxiety: problems with friends, people at work, money, landlords, family members giving you a hard time, problems in your intimate/romantic relationship, physical illness, difficult clients, traffic, feeling lonely and unloved, being

(Photo by rawpixel.com)

“The basis of all anxiety is fear. To lower our anxiety, it helps us to identify: What am I afraid of?” — Michael Kimmel

events @THECENTER Saturday, Feb 15 (Every third Saturday)

Brave Space

11 am - 12:30 pm at The Center A peer-led discussion group for LGBTQ+ folx of the Black and African diaspora community. Come together to bond, share, and connect in community, discuss anti-Black racism, express pain, and create support and healing. Light refreshments provided by The Gender Phluid Collective, the San Diego Black LGBTQ Coalition, and Unity Fellowship Church.

Wednesday, Feb 5 (First Wednesday of every month)

Games & Grub 6 - 8 pm at The Center

Join us for a Valentine’s Day – themed Games & Grub (GG)! The popular social night includes pizza, snacks, beer, wine, soft drinks, and hundreds of board games to choose from, as well as Trivia. Come alone, grab your bestie, or bring a group and meet new friends for a fun evening out. Suggested donation of $5.

At the San Diego LGBT Community Center

Brave Space A peer-led discussion group for Black-identified LGBTQ+ to share pain, discuss anti-Black racism, transphobia & homophobia, and to create support and healing for the LGBTQ+ community. Light refreshments provided by the San Diego Black LGBTQ Coalition and Unity Fellowship Church.


11AM-12:30PM www.thecentersd.org


The San Diego LGBT Community Center THE SAN DIEGO LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER 3909 CENTRE STREET, SAN DIEGO 92103 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 For information, call 619.692.2077

Twitter: @LGBTCenter


afraid of getting older… Big picture anxiety: Global climate change, Trump trying to turn back progress on just about everything Obama and others accomplished, worldwide greed and short-sightedness, separating migrant parents from their children, institutional/societal racism, homophobia, misogyny, ageism… As a psychotherapist, there is an “official” mental health diagnosis called generalized anxiety disorder (aka GAD). Here are some of the symptoms: persistent worrying, perceiving situations and events as threatening, inability to relax, feeling restless, difficulty concentrating, fatigue, trouble sleeping, nervousness, irritability, lacking confidence in yourself and the world around you. sound like anyone you know? When the world is relatively calm and we don’t fear destruction of the planet by fire/flood/ hurricanes/deadly viruses and mentally ill presidents, it isn’t “normal” to be anxious all the time. But, times have changed and in the current socio/political climate, I believe that most sane and aware people meet some of the criteria for GAD. After reading the above list of symptoms, doesn’t this sound like a normal reaction to life these days? I think so. What can we do about it? How can we handle it constructively and not let it drive us down into worry and depression? We can be proactive. The basis of all anxiety is fear. To lower our anxiety, it helps us to identify: What am I afraid of? I’d like to share with you an exercise I use with my clients when they feel flooded by anxiety or worry: Make a list with two columns. In column one, write: “What am I afraid of?” (be

specific) and in column two, write: “What can I do about it?” (describe how you can take constructive action). HeRe aRe TWo exaMPLes: Column one: I’m afraid of getting fired at work. Column two: What I can do about it is to talk with my boss about how I’m doing, consider looking for a new job if I hate my current job, talk to HR if I feel I’m being treated unfairly; if I love my job, I could learn new skills and become even better at my work. Column one: I’m afraid of Trump being reelected. Column two: What I can do about it is to actively campaign for someone I believe in; I can donate money (or time) to candidates and causes that promote values I support. I can encourage everyone I know to register to vote. It helps reduce anxiety to clarify our fears and take action to change the external circumstances as much as we can. aLso, PLease ConsIDeR THese LonG-PRoven anxIeTY-ReDuCInG sTRaTeGIes: •Get some kind of exercise every day. •Whenever possible, focus on what’s going well in your life. •Set your life up so that you get enough sleep. •Eat as healthily as you can. •Do something calming like yoga or some type of meditation. •Limit your caffeine and alcohol intake. We can’t change the world overnight, but we can take the action(s) available to us and change how we respond to the world’s insanity. Try these ideas and — regardless of the results of the upcoming elections — let’s all feel calmer, more grounded and less anxious.



Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8


BIg MIKe aND FrIeNDs Big Mike Phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-8077324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.


ne of the things I love about writing this column is learning so much about the lives of the people I’ve interviewed. Everyone has their own story and it’s interesting to learn how people have grown through life’s struggles and triumphs and how these things help to shape them into who they are today. During the ’90s, I bartended the day shift at Bourbon Street, and my good friend Jerry Yeager would come in almost every day after work for a Heineken. He was a fellow Texan and one of the funniest people I knew at the time. He kept telling me I needed to meet his boss and that I would love her. One afternoon, he finally brought her in for a drink. Her name is Shannon Wagner, we immediately became friends and she continues to be one of my dearest friends to this day. Shannon is a third generation San Diegan. Her mother and grandmother were both born and raised here. After she mentioned that her family had such a long history living in San Diego, I did some further investigation. I learned that her grandparents were the last private owners of Mission Bay and Dana Landing. Shannon’s Uncle Leo, who just turned 100 years old, was the founder and the first pilot for PSA Airlines and founder of Grossmont Bank. Shannon’s grandfather had an airstrip on Mission Bay, and it was there that he taught her Uncle Leo how to fly a plane. Graduating from high school at the age of 15, Shannon’s mother insisted she start working and go to a secondary school. Shannon was given a work permit and took a job doing sound and lighting design for comedy shows that featured many of her friends. For the remainder of her teenage years, she shuttled back and forth from San Diego to Los Angeles and San Francisco with them and the amazing Lily Tomlin. When Shannon was not touring, she took a job as a telephone switchboard operator — so Lily Tomlin of her, I must say! Shannon also worked for Dr’s Services Bureau, becoming the youngest manager there until a friend, who was constantly under attack for being gay, outed her. She was promptly fired and told, “if we knew you were one of those sickos, we would have never hired you.” I personally remember those days myself, always being careful not to let anyone know I was gay, it was hard because I was always such a queen. Shannon then decided she wanted to go back to the theater world. She was offered a job as house manager at the world-renowned Old Globe Theatre, where she worked during the evenings, and by day worked as an accountant. As the AIDS crisis started to hit home, the theater was always dark on Mondays and sadly, every Monday there would be a celebration of life for yet another fallen friend. I remember those days as well, going to many memorials for so many of my friends, finally I just had to stop going, it became too heartbreaking. When one of Shannon’s strongest mentors, Douglas Pagliotti was hospitalized, Shannon, along with friends, took turns going to the hospital every day, bringing his food trays from out in the hallway that had been left because the hospital staff refused to enter the rooms occupied by AIDS patients. In those days, AIDS was still fairly new and was still being researched on how the disease was being spread. Shannon told me when they would go visit friends and patients at the hospital, they would have to sign a medical release of liability and sometimes forced to wear hazmat-type coveralls. The last words that Shannon’s friend Doug said to her was, “You’re young Shannon, promise me you will do something to help people with AIDS.” Doug died four days later. A group of Shannon and her friends started raising money for Broadway Cares, but nobody knew what to do locally with the money raised, so Shannon started calling around and was

being alive sd’s

shannon wagner Big Mike and Shannon Wagner

finally told she needed to talk to “Nicole at the Brass Rail” — yes, that Nicole. Together they organized a fundraiser and Shannon was in charge of getting auction items. She remembers calling every contact she had to donate, she had this little notebook color coded with all her auction items listed and pulled up to the Brass Rail that Friday night with her Honda Civic packed to the gills. Shannon said, “I think we were both surprised that night: Nicole didn’t believe I was a 19-year-old lesbian that actually would do what I did for this fundraiser and I didn’t think that Nicole was ummmm, a performer.” New to this scene, Shannon told me that Nicole was the nicest host to her, allowing her to hang out in the dressing room asking endless questions about drag, beginning a lifelong love for drag queens and their talents. I have always said we should thank our lesbian sisters for their love and compassion while taking care of those dying of AIDS and our drag queen sisters out there raising money during those early years. They were both a true blessing to our community. I love being around Shannon. Every time we get together, we share much laughter just having fun with life. She sure can bring the joy out of you. I asked her if she had a nickname, she said she did not but if she did, it would be “Aces,” because it’s poker related, and she loves playing poker with her friends. Besides adoring and spoiling her dog Jiggy, Shannon is married to Mona Najimy, her true love and life partner of 30 years. “She [Shannon] said Mona would probably tell you I saved her life — OK, maybe she wouldn’t actually say that, but she should. I think after 30 years, I can safely say they saved each other’s lives.” After working for the Old Globe for 17 years, Shannon took the executive director position at Being Alive San Diego, the same organization that gave comfort and allowed my best friend Tino to die with dignity and love. This further bonded my friendship with Shannon. She has been with Being Alive San Diego going on 20 years and always gives credit to all the

great human beings that have been a part of the organization’s efforts. We should all be thankful for her leadership and hard work giving compassion to so many. In Shannon’s words, “I am so grateful that for the last 35 years, I’ve worked for two places that I love very much, filled with lifelong friends that I consider family. I would also like people to know that I like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain and I’m not into health food.” This past year, Being Alive San Diego turned 30 years old and became the oldest HIV/AIDS organization in San Diego County. On behalf of Miguel Donaty, Michael Lochner, Shannon and myself, we would like to invite you to join us in appreciation of this organization that has cared for thousands and thousands of our community members, some being our own friends and family. On Feb. 2, from 6-9 p.m., Being Alive San Diego is hosting an event

called “30 Years of Celebrating our Heroes” at Feast and Fareway at the Coronado Golf Course located at 2000 Visalia Row in Coronado. This promises to be a fun-filled evening of great entertainment, delicious food and much love. Being Alive San Diego continues to help so many, myself included. I am so grateful that they are still here; I would be lost without them. I love my lesbian friends and I have and still do have many in my life. Shannon is one of those people who truly brings laughter and love to everyone she meets. Thank you for the many years of laughter together and to all the laughter still to come. To directly quote Shannon: “Everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about, so be kind.”

Shannon Wagner and Being Alive San Diego can be contacted at 619-291-1400 or at swagner@beingalive.org.

All are

welcome Monte Vista Village is a vibrant, energetic senior living community dedicated to helping you live a life enriched wonderful experiences in a beautiful environment.


2211 Massachusetts Avenue | Lemon Grove, California 91945 montevistavillage.com


Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9



asK aNYThINg, TeLL Me whaT YOU ThINK

MY gOOD TOOTIe Tootie —Tootie is the Mistress on the Mic at Lips Thursday thru Saturday nights at Lips and Sundays for Gospel Brunch as Sister Nun of the Above. She is single and slightly engaged. Mother of two dogs and wears many wigs throughout a day. She is a volunteer, a boss, a change maker, and an activist. Add to that she knows all the best vegan and vegetarian places in San Diego. Email questions to nefertootie@gmail.com


y Good Tootie wants to hear your deepest secrets about sex and love, relationships and sex, sex and friendships… and did I mention sex? Anonymously. Get off and get it off your chest. I pinky-promise to be honest and candid and keep it fun, I expect the same from you. Also fun. Listen to my “Campfire Shitshow” podcast interview, where I mention this article. http://bit.ly/2Ybegda. Pass it on.

(Graphicis by freepik.com)

Hey Tootie. I feel cringy specifying about being a top or a bottom, but I also hate wasting time. Trying to figure out and then disappointing someone when I refuse to be aggressive. I have a feminine side and I live in the closet. Ideally, I could be able to come home and be my true self with someone. I work a physical job 50 hours per week and take home a little more $ than what I need to be comfy. I would like to find a relationship partner that can balance out my feminine

side, be the yin to my yang, top to my bottom, masc to my fem, etc. You have some experience with being fem like me. MGT: This or that, seems like a tough way to find someone for a long-term, getting-home-from-workbeing-who-you-are kind of a relationship. Making it clear what you like isn’t cringy but to have the whole scenario laid out and then played out seems like a recipe for disappointment. Your need to come home and be you is completely understandable, take your

Tootie, I saw some pics of you recently that looked like they were done on location. I’m 47 and decided that I’m interested in the possibility of modeling (nude, semi-nude). Call it a midlife crisis. But seriously, I am in good shape and looking younger than my age. Do you think there are any photographers or artists (amateur or pros) out there that might want to give me a shot? I’m not looking to be paid for now. I can be reached by email (omitted). My Bf is encouraging but has tried to talk me out of it mildly, which maybe makes me want to do it more. He’s 27, which tells you I look young. MGT: OMG, this is a thing. I know you can do it. I have a friend who is super successful at having individuals (clients) who fancy being a photographer shoot him in awesome settings and with and without clothes. There are art classes looking for models, and gay publications who are always needing cover and ad models. Another avenue is following photographers who shoot men of your look and age. There is a market for your look. Never

hair out of that ponytail, shower off the dirt, shave every crack and crevice, dust on some cheeks and eyebrows, add a light lip gloss, put on something soft against your skin. Some people play a part at work and a different part with our family or friends. Finding someone who’s going to be happy with your lovely self shouldn’t be that hard but keeping them for the long term (even with one $ above comfy) with such a stringent set of parameters, will fail. My experience with being fem is that it isn’t something I

mind the looks your younger BF gives you when you go on about this. Set up the acceptable boundaries to protect his sensitivities. Keep your home life happy. He really just doesn’t want you to get hurt, rejection is real. Can you handle someone turning you down based on your physicality or vintage? Limit the scope and first shoot with guys who photograph others like you and listen to their suggestions. I learned so much from every photographer I’ve been fortunate to shoot with. Unbutton your shirt, drop your drawers,

just paint or put on. Same as me being masculine or “aggressive.” It isn’t tied to my dick and what position I play but that I can call that trait up in an instant, both traits, at a business meeting, in line at a café or between the sheets. I’m not looking for the balance affirmed through a partner, I live that balance. Put your pretty pictures out there, be upfront about what you’re looking for (they love the smooth thing) and let them have it from the bottom. You’re a unique blend and someone is going to appreciate your.. this and that.

right foot slightly forward, left shoulder back, drop your chin. You’ll see the difference in the pics. You’ll see the difference in your partner when he sees how much fun you’re having and how good you look. Keep it light and don’t discuss it with friends except your bestie. At this age, you’re acting atypical to your life. Coworkers won’t understand, your family will chalk it up to your always being a quirky guy, you may be considered delusional, you might be. You won’t know until you get out there and get out there naked.



Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8


Powerful Black women lGbTQ san Diego County news angel and kristine mason broadus


ell, hello there! angel and kristine Mason Broadus are a happily married couple and co-owners of the fabulous, do-gooding, creative and colorful marketing and PR agency Puzzle Pieces Marketing (PPM). They are creative in the sense that they are unique and think outside the box, and colorful — meaning their team is as diverse as the clients they represent. Take a peek inside one of their team meetings and you’ll think you just stumbled into an “It’s a small World” vignette. Focusing on social good and providing services that benefit the community, their marketing agency, which Angel founded in 2009, works primarily with nonprofits and mission-driven businesses to develop strategies that inspire action. Angel’s parents taught her that you don’t live on this earth for free. The price you pay is to give back and to contribute to your community. It’s a lesson that she learned at an early age and it’s never left her. Angel is a Navy veteran and pharmacist with 20 years of marketing experience. Prior to founding PPM, she was fortunate enough to start her marketing career and hold marketing management positions at several large medical device companies such as Cardinal Health-Pyxis Products, Smith’s Medical, and ResMed. She is unapologetically vocal about her political views and doesn’t shy away from a political argument…or protest. In her spare time, you can catch her marching in the streets with a protest sign, sporting a gorgeous au naturel fro. Inquisitive strangers, yes, it’s her real hair, and no, you absolutely cannot touch it. She was born in Birmingham, Alabama, but raised in San Diego. Angel is a member of the board of directors for the North County Philanthropy Council, Moonlight Cultural Foundation, and Point Loma Nazarene Marketing Advisory Board. She is also a member of United Way of San Diego’s Women United Steering Committee and Marketing Committee, and Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater San Diego Marketing Committee chair. Kristine joined the agency full time in 2014 and it’s been a fun and adventurous ride since. Her background in psychology brings a different perspective

Kristine (left) and Angel (right)

and makes the team think in ways they wouldn’t have considered. She is a member of the board of directors and treasurer for the Gaslamp Quarter Historical Foundation (GQHF), which provides San Diego residents and visitors with museum exhibits, programs, and tours offered through the Davis-Horton House, the oldest residence in the Gaslamp Quarter. GQHF, tasked with safeguarding the heritage of the nationally designated historic district, also hosts popular annual events including the Children’s Fall Back Festival and ShamRock. Kristine’s education includes a bachelor’s in Psychology from University of Missouri-Kansas City and associate of science degree in Respiratory Care. She specialized in neonatal and pediatric intensive care, was awarded valedictorian and an honors member of the Lambda Beta Society. Kristine was born and raised in a small town near Kansas City, Missouri, and attended a private Catholic school for 13 years where she was the only African American in the entire school.

They both come with very unique and different perspectives of our San Diego community. As much as they share the same values and are alike (they’re both vegetarians for one example), they’re also very different. Angel indulges in junk food and sweets, is shy yet outspoken, scared (which includes an unexplained phobia of frogs and lizards) yet confident. Kristine is the healthy-eating, adventurous, tell-it-like-it-is, outspoken, daredevil of this dynamic duo. She’s also a philanthropist and animal right’s activist. Angel and Kristine are both very involved in the community and are active volunteers for United Way of San Diego and the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater San Diego. This column is going to be a fun collaboration and joint effort split between the two of them. You’ll catch one or both of them in next month’s edition!

Angel and Kristine…OUT! *mic drop*

“angel’s parents taught her that you don’t live on this earth for free. The price you pay is to give back and to contribute to your community.”


Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9



‘a Kind of weather’

By Sylvan Oswald

Sylvan Oswald (courtesy photo)

There are low-cost previews starting Feb. 6, with the official run Opening Night on Feb. 15.

August Forman and Andrew Oswald (Photo courtesy of Diversionary Teatre)

world premiere:

‘a KIND OF weaTher’ by sylvan Oswald by m.G. Perez senior Reporter


ylvan Oswald has a resume that is unconventional, even by theatrical standards. He is certainly a playwright that embraces personal identity and challenges those who would try to define it for others. He also identifies as a transmasculine interdisciplinary artist who not only creates plays but also texts, publications, and videos. His latest work lands on the stage of Diversionary Theatre in the world premiere of “A Kind of Weather,” with previews starting Feb. 6. The play is described as “a hilarious, time-jumping, tragicomedy exploring gender identity and its effect on family.” August Forman (they/them/ theirs) is a Chicago-based actor, playwright, and trans advocate who takes on the lead role of Kid. Kid’s grieving father shows up at his New York City doorstep and asks to move in. It’s an unexpected roommate situation that puts a cramp in Kid’s sex life and impedes the completion of a memoir about his gender transition. While he struggles to maintain professional commitments and a romantic life, his father, played by Diversionary veteran Andrew Oswald, entangles Kid’s narrative with surprising revelations about their family history. It’s a familiar theme for the playwright who once characterized his motivation in an interview with the online Undermain Blog with this statement, “I write plays to investigate what I don’t understand — emotional states, choices or catastrophes. And in families or with history, you can never really get the whole story of what happened or why someone acted the way they did. So, there’s lots t o explore.” Diversionary Executive Artistic

Director Matt M. Morrow says, “The characters Sylvan creates are wholly unique and totally relatable. The way Sylvan weaves together his layered, complex story directly from their multiple points of view is a demonstration of a master writer working at the top of his game.” He reminds us that this new work is also a comedy. “The well-mined father-son trope resonates with a new clarity and emotional punch in this story of loss and new love found. Sylvan’s radically inventive and ambitious new play will keep you intellectually and emotionally engaged while tickling your funny bone.” Bea Basso directs this production. She has a diverse background of experience that includes recently directing Marisela Treviño Orta’s “A Play About Something” at La Jolla Playhouse’s WOW Festival and curation of “Práctica,” an artist-driven platform across the Tijuana/San Diego border. “I am honored to help imagine Sylvan Oswald’s ‘A Kind of Weather’ in its incarnation at Diversionary,” she says, eluding to the significance of the play’s title, she continues, “[His] play imagines intimacy with oneself and with others as a shifting, subtle, overwhelming, and ever-changing ‘kind of weather.’ I look forward to sharing this world that switches theatrical modalities and moves curvaceously in time and space.” The cast also includes Salomón Maya as Rick, making his Diversionary debut, Andréa Agosto as Rose, and Marci Anne Wuebben in the role of Janice. Wuebben was last seen on the Diversionary stage as Woman One in “The Loneliest Girl in the World” and as Lucinda in “The Mystery of Love and Sex.”

Performances continue through March 8, on Thursdays at 7 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m., and Sundays at 2 p.m. Contact the box office at 619-220-0097.

M.G. Perez is founder of the San Diego Theatre Connection and creator of the Community OMG blog communityomg.tumblr.com. Follow on social media on Facebook and Instagram @sdtheatreconnection and on Twitter @TheSDTC. Submit theater content and story ideas to mgperez@sdtconnection.com

S a t u r d a y, Fe b r u a r y 1 5



Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8

Jan31 JaN 31

RoCKY HoRRoR “The Rocky Horror Show” is now playing through March1 at the OB Playhouse & Theatre Company. An outrageous musical comedy featuring a Transylvanian transvestite, a cryogenically preserved zombie motor biker and Frankenstein’s monster in Greek god form. This sexual parody of horror and science fiction films premiered onstage in London in 1973, becoming the popular cult classic film The Rocky Horror Picture Show in 1975. $32-$46. 4944 Newport Ave. obtheatrecompany.com

FeB 3 DiSTRiCT 53 CAnDiDATE FoRuM Come hear candidates for the 53rd Congressional District talk about how they plan to address climate change and climate injustice. Note: you must reserve your seat via Eventbrite. Confirmed candidates are: Jose Caballero, Janessa Goldbeck, Georgette Gomez, Sara Jacobs, Joaquín Vázquez. Free. Vista La Mesa Christian Church, 4210 Massachusetts Ave, La Mesa. 6:30-8:30 p.m. bit.ly/2uHxhsI

FeB 9 SDgMC’S RED ED CARPET PARTY It’s San Diego’s biggest Academy Awards viewing party with proceeds going to support San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus’ mission! Purchase a reserved table, VIP booth, reserved seating at the bar and join us on the red carpet for this Sunday funday event! This year’s theme is all about the Roaring ‘20s, so find your pair of spatz or your favorite flapper outfit and join us on the red carpet! $25-$600. 4 9 p.m. True North Tavern, 3815 30th St. bit.ly/2S0ectZ

FeB 9 JaN 31 SAn DiEgo BlACK FilM FESTivAl Runs through Feb. 2. More than 100 African American and African Diaspora films screened. Foreign, drama, comedy, documentary, horror, religious, music videos, GLBTQ, shorts and more. Events include films each day of festival; preopening reception; opening day films and reception; panel discussions; industry party; filmmakers breakfast; mixer; red carpet; awards dinner and gala; and numerous celebrities. Be a star, or act like one at the 2020 San Diego Black Film Festival. This is a family event. Prices vary per event. Theatre Box, 701 Fifth Ave. bit.ly/2O52BZx

FeB 6

SHE FEST’S PAinT nigHT Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets! And she wants you to join us for a fun-filled night of painting, queers, and more at our neighborhood fave, Gossip Grill! Come have a drink, unleash your creativity, meet up with old friends, and make new friends as we enjoy an awesome evening together. All painting supplies are provided and our talented painting instructor will take you through all the strokes until your masterpiece is complete! $45. 7-9 p.m. 1220 University Ave. bit.ly/3aQkyVm

Send calendar events to editor@lgbtqsd.news

SEA To SHining SEA SHoW The Imperial Court de San Diego is raising money for the 2020 Monarch’s Travel Fund. Redwing Bar and Grill, 4012 30th St. bit.ly/2U3igw5

FeB 14

MR. SAn DiEgo EAglE 2020 WEEKEnD JFeb. 13-16 at San Diego Eagle, 3040 North Park Way. The Leather Fetish Ball, Feb. 15 at Rich’s, 1051 University Ave. 7 p.m.-midnight. Tickets: $20$30. Used is the after party at Club San Diego from midnight to 4 a.m. bit.ly/3aPL9ld

FeB 12

FilMouT SAn DiEgo “Broken Hearts Club: 20th Anniversary.” Director Greg Berlanti’s fresh, funny, real story about a group of six gay men (Timothy Olyphant, Dean Cain, Billy Porter, Ben Weber, Matt McGrath, Zach Braff) in Hollywood, their lovers and friends, and the often hilarious, occasionally poignant space in between — that is if they can get any space at all. As they make their ways in the world with and without each other, they are suddenly faced with an unexpected tragedy. The group finds comfort the only way they ever have, together. Landmark’s Hillcrest Cinemas, 3965 Fifth Ave. 7-9:30 p.m. $12.50. Filmoutsandiego.com

FeB B 14

lovE HuRTS Jody Mitchell, Mr. SD Leather 2019, invites you to his final event of his title year. Come out for Love Hurts, a Valentine’s night ball and cabaret. Special guest Serafine, Ms. SD Leather 2019, will be flogging. Featured DJ Jon Doss will be spinning only the best. Cabaret performances by Chip Young, Jay Heimbach, and Barbie Z, and a couple veiled performances not to be missed! There will be drink specials just for the evening, and a silent auction for some choice leather and fetish items to benefit Being Alive San Diego. 9:30 p.m. The Rail, 3796, Fifth Ave. bit.ly/2vpy2ag



FeB 14

SPEED DATing AT Mo’S Valentine’s speed dating at MO’s Bar & Grill. Hosted by GG and Ms. Charmes. 8 p.m. Registration required. 308 University Ave. bit.ly/36v5j0x

ouT on THE iCE Tickets are now on sale as the San Diego Gulls, San Diego Pride and the You Can Play Project present Out on the Ice to celebrate the LGBTQ community as the Gulls take on the San Jose Barracudas on March 13 at Pechanga Arena San Diego. $5 of ticket sales will be donated to San Diego Pride’s She Fest. Tickets start at $24. 7 p.m. 3500 Sports Arena Blvd. bit.ly/38MOakw oouT AT THE PARK Tickets on sale as San Diego Pride teams up with the Padres for OUT at the Park on Friday, March 27, at Petco Park. Grab your friends, family and rainbows as we prepare to enjoy an exciting evening of entertainment and baseball when the Padres take on the Rockies at 7:10 p.m. $25 includes ticket, commemorative hat and a $5 donation to San Diego Pride. 100 Park Blvd. atmlb.com/3aMdc57

SAn DiEgo PRiDE FESTivAl Tickets are now on sale for the 2020 San Diego Pride Festival July 18-19, 2020. $15-$200. sdpride.org

Q Puzzle QueeR PoP CulTuRe momenTs aCRoss 1 the sound of music 5 women live together here 10 sally who rode into space 14 nat. counterpart in mlb 15 “scary movie” Cheri 16 river in nureyev’s homeland 17 The first openly transgender person to appear on the cover of time, in 2014 19 where to vote against trump 20 scene with mary 21 olympic diver greg 23 reagon of the big lovely band 25 aetna rival, for short 26 thigh-length skirts 29 old spanish queen 31 “full house” twin name 35 of a rear entrance 36 California city 38 “in Cold blood” writer, to pals 39 monae, who came out as pansexual i n 2018 41 apple Ceo who just came out in 2014 43 “Xtra’s” prov. 44 production 46 locale of valuable stones 47 peewee or della 49 granola lesbians bit 50 maupin stories 51 blow away

53 picture puzzle 55 homes of women who don’t do guys 59 dwell (on) 63 marlene’s role in “blue angel” 64 She wore a Pride flag to the Met Gala in 2018 66 10 C-notes 67 leave your lover in bed 68 Cock’s cry 69 strip a fruit 70 push forward 71 game groups, to billy Jean

DoWn 1 it might go right to the bottom 2 barbra’s “funny girl” guy 3 Campbell of “the Company” 4 type of dysfunction 5 puts an edge on 6 pigged out 7 get ready for sex in an easy chair 8 Switch suffix 9 snafu 10 drag queen of “drag race” which premiered in 2009 11 branding tool 12 lover of lorca, perhaps 13 pipe elbows 18 greek consonants 22 one who handles your horse

24 “from ___ eternity” 26 ursa ___ (nighttime bear) 27 bananas 28 “divine Comedy” poet 30 penetrating 32 seat at the stonewall inn 33 lose ground 34 Cooks in a hurry 36 sore throat producer 37 mar. basketball tourney 40 “my fair lady” composer 42 “moby dick,” et al. 45 edible root 48 dan, cofounder of “it gets better” in 2010 50 biggest brass instrument 52 big name in Chinese history 54 something you have when you have guts 55 hoofbeat of a stallion 56 eugene o’neill’s daughter 57 ny met or la dodger 58 school year division 60 verb of verlaine 61 “i ___ andy warhol” 62 works under edith head, perhaps 65 org. for bears


Solutions on page 17



Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9

‘The rocky horror show’ by albert h. Fulcher



February 8, 11, 14, and 16m, 2020 San Diego Civic Theatre

OPENS FEBRUARY 8 Lavish and sweeping music. Larger than life puppetry. A beloved fairy tale.

(center) Rocky (Jake Bevill) comes to life in OB Playhouse and Theatre’s production of “The Rocky Horror Show”


f you are a fan of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” then Ocean Beach is the place that you need to be. Playing now through March 1st, “The Rocky Horror Show” is a decadent evening of pure entertainment. This musical play follows the storyline in the pop-culture cult classic movie, but with some extremely compelling twists throughout the play. Directed and choreographed by Michael Mizerany and Musical Director Kirk Valles, the two join forces and bring a monster (pun intended) production filled with the favorite great songs, some new ones and even throw in a few lyrics here and there from other musicals. The production is crude in the best ways and from beginning to end, you will not be disappointed in the many surprises that Mizerany throws into the construct of the play. Nothing is sacred in this play, as it should be, and cast members hold nothing back in bringing out the diversity of sexuality that this story offers. Throughout the play there are unseen hecklers in the back that goad the actors on. They are obscene, filthy mouthed and add a “Mystery Science Theater 3000” vibe to the entire production. It was also a great treat that in this performance, the music was live, and the band killed it with Chris Gross on the saxophone stealing the show with his master skills. This element added so much to the entire production. So between the music that fans just cannot help singing along with, the sensuous choreography, supreme acting, the added comedic elements, this play takes you on a journey as you cannot help but be sucked in by everything

going on. Not only are you watching a great show, everything together, along with the intimate setting of the OB Playhouse & Theatre Co., gives a sense of interaction that makes the audience active participants. Casting was spot on. Frank ‘N’ Furter, played by Joey Kirkpatrick was made for the role as the transvestite from Transylvania with the voice to command each song and carved out the diverse and open sexual spirit in character. His comedic timing was perfect, and in such a close venue, much of this was seen in the facial expressions. The unexpected lovers Brad (Hunter Brown) and Janet (Kylie Young) were a great match together, in voice and parody. Brad has an amazing voice, and though through the music he had to stay in his lower to high baritone voice, he was able to show his range with beautiful falsetto with “Once in a While.” The Greek god creation Rocky (Jake Bevill) was funny, sexy and though I’ve seen him in other productions, I had no idea how well this young man can sing. Riff Raff (See Jay Lewis) also was a pleasant surprise with his strong vocals. Every member of the cast made this an excellent evening of romping fun. Again, this is a must-see production for “Rocky Horror” fans. It’s definitely made for mature audiences, but this purely debauched production will leave you wanting more and will leave you with “The Time Warp” stuck in your head. Bravissimo to a job well done. Head out early because parking can be challenging, but there are plenty of restaurants, bars and shops within walking distance that can make for a wonderful day in Ocean Beach.

A delight for audiences of all ages.


Tickets start at $45

sdopera.org | (619) 533-7000



Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8


FareweLL: KeePINg FaITh wITh The PasT

OUT OF The arChIves By walter Meyer —Lambda Archives, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to collecting, preserving and teaching the history of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in San Diego and the Northern Baja California region, is located at 4545 Park Blvd., in University Heights. To learn more, stop in or visit their website at lambdaarchives.org. Clockwise San Diego Pride 2015


ll good things must come to an end. And after a little over five years, the time has come to say goodbye to Lambda Archives. Not completely — I will still do special projects for them now and then. It has been a fun and enriching time. I have been interested in history since childhood trips to Gettysburg and Philadelphia. Once I came out, I became very interested in LGBT history — something I had never learned in school, so when the chance arose to work at Lambda Archives, I took it. I was between writing gigs after the company that had been working on producing my TV series went bankrupt and I had no major projects in the pipeline. For years, then-board president Maureen Steiner had been asking me to donate a copy of my gay novel and my LGBTthemed writings for Out, Advocate, the Los Angeles Times and other periodicals as well as the thousands of photos from AIDS Walks, Prides, and marriage equality events. She ended up hiring me to be parttime office manager, a job that quickly morphed into much more. In the time I have been at the Archives, I have managed to write four more books, but now have so many other projects flowing in, that it’s time to leave the Archives to work on them. I wish I could clone myself so that one of me could continue working at the Archives while the other one wrote books and produced my stage play and television series. And maybe I need third clone to travel, which is the other thing leaving the Archives will allow more time for. My time at the Archives has been filled with wonderful experiences. Maureen gave me pretty free rein to do a lot of creative projects. I researched and created walking tours of the LGBT history in Hillcrest. (Those will continue under a couple of awesome volunteers.) Maureen had long dreamed of a series of symposia about LGBT history and I was able to create our Out at the Archives series which covered a wide range of topics. As a writer, I enjoyed writing our Out of the Archives for Gay San Diego (this paper, now known as LGBTQ San Diego County News), and also working with interns, volunteers and researchers to cover different aspects of our history. I learned from reading what they wrote as I learned from so many others. Too many to list properly and I apologize to anyone I missed, but I appreciated the help of community members who have already given so much: Chuck Kaminski, Pat McArron, Jeri Dilno, Bridget Wilson, Doug Moore, Al Smithson, George Murphy, Benny Cartwright, Meredith Vezina. So many of these folks had already put in decades of service, but when I called or emailed them needing information or help, unfailingly they did their best to provide what I wanted. So much of our history still resides in the memories of the people who made it. I had known many of these people for years but got to know and appreciate them

San Diego History Center’s Hate Crimes March History of Congress Award

so much more because of my work with the Archives and their enthusiastic support. One of the pleasures/ regrets was getting to know Mel Merrill, who was a board member when I started at the Archives. Mel was an inspiration in so many ways and always taught me something. Working at the Archives also meant I got to work with and become a friend of the top LGBT historian in the business, Lillian Faderman. We really got to know each other as we created the LGBT exhibit at the San Diego History Center. One of the most memorable moments of my tenure at the Archives came the first day the exhibit was open to the general public. Lillian and I were doing a walk-through with members of the SDHC staff and I was taking notes on some small corrections that needed to be made. With tears in her eyes, a young woman approached us and gushed over how wonderful the exhibit was and how important it was. Even though I consider myself a decent writer, I would be hard pressed to write a better statement of what I would want a high school student to say about what the exhibit meant to her. I asked her if she identified as LGBTQ and she said no, but she was so happy for her queer friends for whom the exhibit would mean so much. I was subsequently hired by the SDHC to write the companion book for the exhibit, of which Lillian will be writing the foreword so the exhibit will be able to last much longer on paper. And I am proud of working with Professor David Cline and his students from SDSU who are working to digitize the exhibit so it can live online after it leaves the museum. Other special moments stand out; too many to list here, but, a sampling: The Archives is open to visitors any time a staff member is there and a sign out front welcomes passersby. One day, a man stopped in with his son, who was perhaps 10 years old. The man had seen the sign and wanted his son to learn a little about LGBT history. They spent close to an hour here. The boy didn’t seem all that interested, but the father asked good questions and wanted to acquaint his son with a part of history that he likely would not get in school. Whether the man suspected or knew his son was gay, he never said, but I thought it was very cool of the father to want to open his son up to the possibilities. I had only been working here a short time when a man stopped in with a few photo albums. He said his great-aunt had died in San Diego and he had come out from Buffalo, New York, to settle her affairs. He said the aunt had not had much contact with her family over the years so they were somewhat surprised that she had left her house and its contents to the family. He showed me some photo albums and said, “I think she was a lesbian. These look like photos of gay pride in the 1980s.” I looked at the albums and said, “These look like photos of gay pride in the 1980s! I think your aunt was a lesbian!” I give the man props for taking the time to call The Center (they referred him to us) and he took the trouble to bring in the albums. It makes me wonder how many pieces of our history large and small have been lost

when a nephew showed up from out of town and just threw out everything that didn’t concern his family? How many estranged relatives would have gleefully launched a purge of a family member’s LGBT past? It has been my privilege to help ferret out and preserve






what we can of our history. Mel Merrill use to like to quote Winston Churchill: “History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.” We in the LGBTQ community must preserve our own history because it so often neglected by others and I am proud to be part of that preservation.



February 18 – March 29 FLY | Based on the novel Peter and Wendy by J.M. Barrie Book by Rajiv Joseph | Music by Bill Sherman Lyrics by Rajiv Joseph and Kirsten Childs | Directed by Jeffrey Seller

BUY TODAY! LaJollaPlayhouse.org


Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9



2020 Census

historiC Census provides the first-time opportunity for Couples to self-identify as unmarried no matter of seXual orientation by m.G. Perez senior Reporter

(Courtesy photos)


hey’re already counting in Toksook Bay, Alaska as of Jan. 21. Every decade, Census Bureau enumerators start the national count knocking on doors of remote fishing villages in the northernmost sections of the United States. It sometimes takes a dog sled or a snow machine to get there. They will do whatever it takes to make sure the official decennial census includes every person living in the 50 states, District of Columbia, and five U.S. territories. “It’s a head count,” said David Bennett, media specialist with the San Diego Los Angeles Regional Census Center. “If you have a head, you count.” The U.S. census conducted every 10 years is required by the Constitution and the numbers collected determine how much money communities get

for public services like Section 8 housing, Medicare Part B and Medicaid and how many seats each state gets in Congress. Bennett emphasized, “It takes a community to count your community. San Diego County is a mix of densely populated neighborhoods as well as rural areas. For the first time, this year people have the option to respond online to basically seven questions.” You can also respond by phone or mail. Starting in May, the U.S. Census Bureau will begin following up in person with homes that have not responded. There is a need to hire hundreds of census workers across San Diego County from La Jolla to Coronado and many other communities including Chula Vista, Hillcrest and North Park. “Step out of the bars, turn

off Netflix and do this,” said Ray Mueller, a lead partnership specialist with the census, who is also a married gay man

with children. “When it’s time to knock on doors, you want to see people who are your neighbors. We need our LGBTQ siblings to join this short-term opportunity to be part of history and insure we are counted.” This historic census also provides the first-time opportunity for couples to self-identify as unmarried no matter their sexual orientation. That has not been allowed in any prior official national count. Mueller points out, “counting unmarried couples is a new data point that has never existed before. It’s statistical information that will help same-sex benefits and straight couples as well.” In fact, the National LGBTQ Task Force has invested years of advocacy work to increase public awareness and to pressure the U.S. Census Bureau to be more sensitive to gay and lesbian concerns. The latest up-

dates on those efforts can be found at thetaskforce.org. The survey questions are limited in scope and ask for data about who is living in a household, description of whether it is an owned or rented house, apartment, or mobile home and the age, sex, and the ethnicities of residents. On the questions of ethnicity, there is a write-in option to be as specific as possible. All answers will be counted and enumerated. The census is considered a “snapshot” of the U.S. population based on living situations as of April 1, 2020. Respondents will be asked to answer questions reporting on their households as they expect them to be on that day or what they were on that date depending on when they submit the survey. The U.S. Census Bureau is bound by law to protect answers and keep them strictly confidential. In fact, every employee takes an oath to protect your personal information for life. The U.S. Census Bureau is hiring for several positions to help conduct the 2020 census, including census takers, census field supervisors, recruiting assistants, clerks, and office operations supervisors. The largest number of openings are for census takers, which pays $21 an hour with flexible work hours. Applicants must be 18 years of age or older and a U.S. citizen. No resume or college degree is required. Go to www.2020cenus.gov for more information.


eNTerTaINMeNT/BUsINess & servICes


Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8


BUsINess & servICes

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‘fRIenDsGIvInG ’ GeTs queeR Gu ID


First-time filmmaker ment called “Friendsg Nicol Paone has a comedy feature in dev elopiving,” due in 2020 (we assume a rough from-now release to yearcoincide with Thank sgiving, but who kn it’s about an eclectic ows), and group of close friend s wh what turns out to be a chaotic Thanksgivin o gather together for g dinner at the hom women, Molly (Mali e of two n Akerman) and Ab bey (Kat Dennings). co-stars Aisha Tyler The project , “Brooklyn Nine-N ine’s” Chelsea Perett Taylor (“The Brady i, Christine Bunch Movie”), glamo ur veteran Jane Sey – in an unusual the mour and matic twist – a trio of “Fairy Gay Mothe the queer power tea rs” played by m of Wanda Sykes, Fortune Feimster, and Cho. We don’t know Margaret what this infusion of the supernatural wil for a Thanksgiving-t l mean hem mouthful of pie becaus ed enterprise, but we’ll happily watch with a e we love those three point, there just are women and, more to n’t enough Thanksgi the vin watching that Jodie g movies and we’re tired of Foster one over and over.

The cast of ‘Friendsgiving’ (Cou

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QueeR PoP CulTuRe momenTs from page 13


Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9

NIghT LIFe: The Bar sOCIaL sCeNe


There’s a FINe LINe BeTweeN FLIrTINg aND COerCION!

hOUsTON, we have a PrOBLeM Korie houston —Korie has worked within the LGBTQIA+ community since coming out in college in 2014. With five-plus years of experience working with marginalized communities in various positions such as a peer educator at California State University San Marcos’ Gender Equity Center, a writer at the RAGE Monthly Magazine and as a host at Baja Betty’s. He currently works at University of California San Diego providing support to students. His journey as an undergraduate student at CSUSM provided him the skillset and depth he has in his current role.


few months ago, I went to a local gayborhood bar for a “Sunday Funday” with my partner. Not long after walking into the bar, a man reached his hand out toward my crotch. I pushed his hand away which prompted another interaction. Instead of respecting my personal space, this man tried to fight me. Put his hands in my face, aggressively pushed his face toward mine. He was in desperate need of a mint and I was ready to incite violence. I kept my composure, as one should, and avoided the altercation. It was satisfying when security kicked him out about half an hour later, but I wish I could have avoided the situation. The most striking part of this altercation was the fact that he tried to touch me, but I was in the wrong? I didn’t consent to the activity. Consent, what is it? This is a large conversation that usually doesn’t suffice for one article’s worth. But for those of you who need a summary of what consent is, basically keep your hands to yourself. Isn’t that easy? For those of you who didn’t get that, let’s break it down on Houston, We Have a Problem. Growing up, I’m sure most people teach you to not touch people or someone else’s property without asking for permission. It’s a basic concept passed down from most parental figures to the children in their lives. When it comes to going out to the bars and clubs, this concept seems to have ceased existence. So, if you’re not sure what the word consent means, let’s pull out the dictionary definition. Consent is the act of permission, agreement, approval or compliance. It’s both a noun and a verb. Let’s use some examples. You’re out at the bar; things are getting interesting with a stranger, a friend or even your partner. You’ve both had a few drinks and you decide you don’t want to hook-up, have sex or whatever could have happened that night. The opposite party respects your wishes, because you did not give permission. Vice versa, you decide you will go home with someone else and you do want to agree to whatever activities are happening in that evening. Consent can and should always be given and can always be rescinded. The bar scene can be a vibrant and wonderful experience. But it can also be jarring and problematic. I do think there is nothing wrong with going out with the expectation that you’ll find your right person or your “just for now” person. The catch all is that lines and boundaries get blurred and crossed whether alcohol is involved or not. Movements like #MeToo, which started for the safety and betterment toward women does not exclude what happens to men in bars and clubs. Inappropriate touching and unwanted advances know no bounds and doesn’t need to happen to anybody. Just because the environment is sexually charged doesn’t mean everyone is actively participating. Consent is such an important and crucial step that should not be missed in any aspect of sex, drink-

(Photo by freepik.com)

Inappropriate touching and unwanted advances know no bounds and doesn’t need to happen to anybody. Just because the environment is sexually charged doesn’t mean everyone is actively participating. ConsenT is such an important and crucial step that should not be missed in any aspect of sex, drinking or a night out. — Korie Houston

ing or a night out. I think we tend to forget that people sometimes don’t feel comfortable saying no and if there’s even the slightest hint they may not want to be bothered, leave them alone. There’s a fine line between flirting and coercion. It’s not easy and every interaction is not and cannot be treated the same.

But, before you buy someone that shot that may send them over the edge, read the room. Before you place your hand on their shoulder or thigh, ask them if it’s OK for you to touch them. This is such a simple concept and yet it’s disregarded for a few moments of instant gratification. Communication is key, and it’s important for everyone

involved to be able to have a safe and respectful night out. Let’s break the cycle in our own community of creating unsafe spaces for one another. We can’t shape every interaction, but we can practice more mindful concepts amongst our friends and partners when we’re going out into the gayborhood.

Your guide to night life adventures

FeB 1

THE MERRoW Bear night The most fun all month is back at The Merrow! It’s going to be another nuts-tobutts night with DJ Jon Williams, the Bear Night GoGos and the woofiest, friendliest crowd in town! 9p.m. - 2a.m. $10 cover. 21+

FeB 6

RiCH’S Techniche The mission continues.... Techniche celebrates 4 years of outerstellar techno + tech-house. Featuring highlight sets from residents Myxzlplix, John Vilotti, Josh Taylor and K-Swift. 1 0p-2am. 21+. $4 Cover

FeB 6

THE Tin RooM gag Me Comedy Join us for a fabulous night of queer comedy on Thursday February 6th. Get there early for drinks. Host: KC Starr Headliner: Brandon Potter Show starts at 9p.m. No Cover. 21+

FeB 7

THE RAil E-Tronic A New Electronic Legacy Returns E-Tronic. Featuring special guest DJ Ollie Red, residents DJ XP, go-go dancers. VIP booth & bottle service available. 9p.m. - 2a.m. 21+

FeB 14

MoS valentine’s Speeddating Join Glitz Glam and Ms. Charms for a special Valentine’s Speed Dating event with Pump & San Ysidro Health. Pre register at urbanmos.com 8p.m. 21+



(Photo by freepik.com)

Mr. san Diego eagle 2020

it’s not Just a Contest, it’s an entire weekend of love, leather and shenanigans! by lGbTQ san Diego County news


re you interested in competing? How do you interact with the community? How do you interact with the San Diego Eagle bar patrons? Besides being a titleholder, do you want to make a difference by getting more involved with the community? Contestant applications are available at the San Diego Eagle and are due by Wednesday, feb. 12. You can also contact Mr. San Diego Eagle 2017, Bill Willis, at JPCBEW@iCLOUD.com for more information. friday, feb. 14, 9 p.m.midnight at San Diego Eagle. 3040 North Park Way Mr. san Diego eagle 2020 Contestant Meet & Greet Here’s a chance to meet the brave contestants who dare to bare themselves. Contestants will draw their numbers for the weekend and mix and

mingle throughout the bar in hopes of standing out. saturday, feb. 15, 7 p.m.-midnight at Rich’s, 1051 University Ave. Hillcrest Rodman Productions brings you the seventh annual Leather fetish Ball! New location, same sexy vibe! Plenty of vendors, boot blacking, hot go-go’s, live demos, fierce entertainment, choice music, dancing all night long and of course, a love for leather! Hosted by Glitz Glam! General admission: $20 VIP: $30. Tickets available at Eventbrite.com. http://bit. ly/3aPL9ld. Sponsored by Anthony Rollar-Greika of Leatherlove SD, Pleasures & Treasures, Humanity, Sir & Son, Club X, Club San Diego and Ketel One. saturday, feb. 15, midnight-until you’re “used!” at

Club san Diego 3955, Fourth Ave. boyDaddy Productions perversely invites you to be “useD!” An after-hours play party full of leather, fetish and kink with plenty of live demonstrations by some of your favorite seasoned players! Admission to Club San Diego is $5 (memberships available). Locker rental $20, private room rates start at $30. See ClubSanDiego.com for its entire menu. sunday, feb. 16, 5-9 p.m. at San Diego Eagle, 3040 North Park Way Mr. san Diego eagle 2020 Contest Hosted by Roxie Bleau! Contestants will be judged on formal leather wear, bar wear, jock wear and of course their prepared speeches with a Q&A.

Mr. San Diego Eagle contest 2019 (photo by Scott B. Smith)

The Leather Fetish Ball (courtesy photo)

Mr. San Diego Eagle 2019 Myles Ramos (courtesy photo)

Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 8



Jan 31 - Feb 13, 2020 volume 1 issue 9


2020 women’s March san Diego (by M.G. Perez)


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LGBTQ San Diego County News, Issue 1, Volume 9, Jan. 31-Feb. 12, 2020  

LGBTQ San Diego County News, Issue 1, Volume 9, Jan. 31-Feb. 12, 2020

LGBTQ San Diego County News, Issue 1, Volume 9, Jan. 31-Feb. 12, 2020  

LGBTQ San Diego County News, Issue 1, Volume 9, Jan. 31-Feb. 12, 2020

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