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Volume 10 Issue 13 June 21 - July 4, 2019

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NEWS

Faith in the wilderness

Leading with love

w DINING

By Cassidy Klein

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THEATER

‘Feed me Seymour’

t CALENDAR

A newly ordained, transgender nonbinary Catholic seeks to serve those on the margins

A deacon at Mary Magdalene Apostle Catholic Community, Kori Pacyniak at her ordination through the Roman Catholic Priest organization. (Courtesy of Kori Pacyniak)

Kori Pacyniak, a deacon at Mary Magdalene Apostle Catholic Community (MMACC), looks at a room full of congregants during Pentecost Sunday liturgy and asked, “Do we preach the Gospel in a way that queer youth can hear it?”

It is a question that remains at the forefront of Pacyniak’s ministry as a transgender and nonbinary member of the clergy.

Pacyniak was ordained earlier this month through the Roman Catholic Women Priest (RCWP) organization after years of struggling to come to terms with their faith identity and gender identity.

“I often refer to it as the wilderness, the in-between,”

see Kori Pacyniak, pg 3

Gay San Diego is for sale

David Mannis, publisher/president of San Diego Community News Network, sold five of his six newspapers, including San Diego Uptown News, on April 1 of this year. Now he is preparing to sell this newspaper.

“My desire is to find a buyer for this newspaper and keep Gay San Diego publishing as the voice of San Diego’s LGBT community. It is critical to keep a platform from which to share and disseminate issues and perspectives of the LGBT community. I have been in the newspaper business for 40 years and the time has come to retire,” said Mannis.

Gay San Diego, the only newspaper serving San Diego’s LGBT community, has been published for 10 years with copies distributed every other Friday. Gay SD also publishes the San Diego PRIDE program, which this year will be included in the July 5 and July 12 issues of San Diego Uptown News, as well as Best Of Gay San Diego, which will be published in the July 19 issue.

Anyone interested in purchasing/publishing this essential publication should contact David Mannis at David@sdcnn.com.

30 years of service

Fraternity House, Inc. provides needed care for chronically ill and rehabilitative services for those with HIV/AIDS Check out up and coming events

Index Opinion ................................... 6 Classifieds............................ 13 Puzzle ................................... 14 Calendar ............................... 14

Contact us

Albert H. Fulcher | Editor In the mid 1980’s an Oceanside man Ray Bierle opened his home to care for homeless and chronically ill individuals affected by the AIDS virus. He saw a need as many people infected were evicted from their homes and turned away by family friends due to the fear that the AIDS crisis fueled. When his neighbors

questioned why so many people lived in the house, his answer was, “Tell them it’s a fraternity house.” Fraternity House, Inc. was born, and incorporated as a 501 (c) (3) non-profit in 1988. Fraternity House opened a second location in Vista the Michaelle House, named after Michaelle Liddell, one of the first straight white women in

see Fraternity House, pg 16

Fraternity House, Inc., staff, residents and volunteers participate every year in AIDS Walk. (Courtesy Fraternity House, Inc.)

Editorial/Letters 619-961-1960 albert@sdcnn.com

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NEWS

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KORI PACYNIAK Pacyniak said. “Both in terms of faith identities and gender identities, I was really trying hard to fit into boxes that just didn’t fit.”

Catholic ordination was one of those boxes for Pacyniak, who was raised in a Polish Catholic family and felt called to the priesthood from a young age.

“I was 8 years old, and my grandmother asked, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’” Pacyniak said. “I said I want to be a priest, and she said, ‘well, only boys can become priests.’ I said, ‘well maybe I want to be a boy.’ Because in my mind that’s how things worked.”

In high school and college, Pacyniak became involved with progressive Catholic movements and continued to wrestle with the call to priesthood. They decided to go to seminary in 2007 to pursue a Master of Divinity at Harvard Divinity School with a focus on queer theology to further discern if God was calling them to something.

“I spent a lot of time drifting in and out of the church,” said Pacyniak. “Seminary was a crisis of faith, a crisis of identity. I ended up Episcopalian for while. As someone who was queer and trans and called to the priesthood, it felt like there was no room for me in the Catholic Church.”

When Pacyniak first heard about the RCWP movement during their undergrad, the organization had just begun ordaining women. The first female ordinations happened in Germany in 2002 on a boat on the Danube River. Two Catholic male bishops ordained seven women that day.

Those women, and the ones after, have continued to ordain women to the priesthood, claiming to be in full apostolic succession with the Church of Rome. There are now over 260 people ordained through RCWP across the world.

Jane Via, a RCWP priest and bishop who founded MMACC in 2005 and is one of the pioneers of the RCWP movement in the U.S., started the community with the intention of ministering to marginalized Catholics in San Diego.

MMACC, she said, is “for driven-away Catholics, for divorced and remarried Catholics, for LGBTQ Catholics, and for Catholics who can no longer worship with integrity in the canonical church.”

Via and other MMACC members, who meet at Gethsemane Lutheran Church in Serra Mesa, have always been intentional about using inclusive language and non-gender terms for God. Via helped create inclusive worship aides that are now used all over the country. She and another member also rearranged the lectionary to include all major stories about women in the Bible to be read on Sundays and feast days.

“LGBTQ Catholics started coming [to MMACC] from the

beginning,” Via said. “That was another reason for making sure our language about God was inclusive.”

When Pacyniak read about a pastoral job offer at MMACC, they applied and were hired in January 2017.

Pacyniak decided to pursue ordination through RCWP after many conversations about whether the organization was women-only. “[I did not know] of anyone who was openly trans or openly nonbinary [in RCWP],” Pacyniak said. “At first, I presented myself more female and was like, I’ll just deal with this because this is the job I have. Then trying to make sure I could be out as nonbinary, as trans in this organization and still go through the process.”

Being visible as a trans and nonbinary clergy member is a way Pacyniak hopes to be an example to the trans and faith communities. Pacyniak is working to expand MMACC’s ministry to trans Catholics and trans youth in San Diego and will soon set up a spiritual and pastoral support group for trans youth and their families.

“For me, ministry is about serving those on the margins,” Pacyniak said. “As someone who has felt on the margins for a lot of my life, that’s where ministry has to be for me.”

Pacyniak and Via said that all are welcome at MMACC. “Whoever you are, you are welcome here, no exceptions,” Pacyniak said. “[MMACC] is very come-as-you-are. It’s a place where you can bring your doubts, your frustrations, and your anger.”

The wilderness and uncertainty, though it has been full of struggle, is where Pacyniak feels the “wild love of the Holy Spirit dwell.”

“My own identity as nonbinary has made that middle space in the wilderness more accessible,” Pacyniak continued. “God calls people into the wilderness, sometimes as a test or trial, but also as a time of flourishing. It can be both life-giving and dangerous at the same time. It really has made it so that I cannot exist in a world of black and white.”

As Pacyniak continues to minister and eventually pursue priestly ordination, they are focusing on remaining present and attentive to the radical presence of God in all things and all people. “[I’m continuing to] learn to be in that wilderness where nothing is given and nothing is concrete,” said Pacyniak.

“It’s a little bit like the psalm verse, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ I had to learn to be in the moment, and not be rushing towards an end. To just be in the journey.”

Pacyniak finished their homily on Pentecost Sunday reminding congregants to “translate God’s love into their lives.” To Pacyniak, that translation of love goes beyond comprehension, straight into the thick of the wilderness.

The Bible verse Jeremiah 1:5 is one of Pacyniak’s favorites because it reminds them of their known-ness by God in

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

3

times of deep uncertainty.

“The first time I really remember hearing that verse, I was in the middle of seminary, and I was coming out to my parents as trans, leaving the Catholic Church,” Pacyniak said. “I had no idea which way was up. Just to hear that verse, ‘Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. I know the plans I have for you.’ I was just like, great, I’m glad someone knows what’s going on.

Someone has a plan.”

MMACC meets every Sunday at 5 p.m. for liturgy at Gethsemane Lutheran Church, 2696 Melbourne Drive. Learn more at mmacc. org.

—Cassidy Klein can be reached at Cassidy@sdcnn.com.

Kori Pacyniak stands among members of the Roman Catholic Women Priest.

(Photo courtesy of Kori Pacyniak)

June 26

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Taking care of self sometimes involves big change Back Out with Benny Ben Cartwright

W

(www.canstockphoto.com)

something I’ve done very poorly over the last 20 years is taking care of myself. Sure, I took some trips here and there, weekends off, participated in activities that some consider “self care,” but I wasn’t truly focusing on myself. I was ignoring my own anxieties and mental health challenges that were always trying to come up, I ignored my fitness goals, I overindulged on unhealthy substances, and didn’t allow myself to challenge any toxic relationships that came into my life. There was a period many years ago where I was physically abused by a partner, but I simply moved out after years of abuse, and continued my busy life — never stopping to reflect on what damage that did to me. I let some friendships suffer because I either didn’t make the time to nurture them as I kept myself busy suppressing my feelings, or I ignored their repeated calls to take care of myself when they recognized I needed a change.

I’ve never been one to ask for help — and it’s still hard for me to do so — but I’ve finally recognized that I have so many

things I need help with so that I can continue to thrive, and I’ve finally done so. Over the next few months, I’m looking forward to reconnecting with friends and community members in more meaningful ways, reflecting on who I am and where I’m going, relearning techniques and skills to take care of myself, and then doing bigger and better things than ever before! While it’s sometimes hard to have stepped away from some of my major involvements (the world does go on!), I continue to remind myself that eventually, I would’ve completely burned out and been of no use to anyone. I’m using this opportunity to unleash an even better me!

Serving a marginalized community, whether professionally or as a volunteer, is fulfilling but exhausting work.

We lose so many fantastic activists, leaders, and advocates all the time because people burn out. Once someone presents themselves as a trusted activist, so many people, groups, and organizations want a piece of their time — which is fantastic — but so many don’t

have the skills to learn how to say no. I’m following the advice I’ve given to younger activists for years. Take care of yourself first!

Like I said, I’m still the same old Benny (just planning to emerge as an even better Benny) and I look forward to continuing to update you on my life journey as I move forward, connecting with many of you at community events or one on one, and of course, celebrating Pride next month with everyone!

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me or offered to be there for me. I’ve never been good on taking people up on their offers of support, but you might just hear from me!

—Benny Cartwright is a local LGBT activist and Nicky Award’s 2018 Man of the Year.

Benny can be contacted at Benny.bc.cartwright@gmail. com. Note: Byline photo by Rob Lucas Modern Aperture Photography.

Graphic by www.

CanStockPhoto.com.

Happy Pride!

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work, and doing this work has been a highlight throughout.

During these 20-plus years, I also spent so much time helping friends, acquaintances, and other community members around with all sorts of needs ranging from houses, to finances, to connecting to resources, providing transportation, sharing my own financial resources, to being a shoulder to cry on and so much more. And I couldn’t have asked for any experience more fulfilling than being a trusted member of my community for whom those struggling could come to for just about anything. Being that person is at the core of who I am, and I plan to continue to share my life with friends and community members in need.

But I’m not perfect, and

2017

ithin a matter of a couple weeks earlier this month, so many things in my life changed.

Without getting into too much detail, this change include separating from my long-time fulltime job, paring back numerous community commitments, and reflecting on what I’ll do next at this interesting intersection of my life. At 39 years old, I finally came to the conclusion that I was tired, stressed out, and not taking very good care of myself … and it was time for a change.

Before I continue, I will note that I’m not going anywhere.

I’m still living in the same place in University Heights, and I want to hear from and interact with everyone in the community as always. I plan to continue writing and some other scaled back involvements, and soon, I will return fullforce to the community ready to take on the new challenges we face. But right now, it’s time to focus on me.

At 18 years old in 1998, I jumped hard into LGBTQ community activism. As a freshman at San Diego State University, the campus was lacking resources for LGBTQ students and the small number of students participating in the school’s LGBT Student Union (myself included) decided that we had to take it upon ourselves to provide resources in whatever way knew how, while advocating for our community’s needs at the same time. I did this work for many years, while slowly getting involved in the greater community, and I sure got involved!

Being intricately involved in San Diego’s LGBTQ community has been my entire adult life’s

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GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

5

It’s summertime and people are falling in love Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel

N

ew love is exciting: it makes everything better. It releases all kinds of powerful hormones in the body that elevate our moods and make it easy to overlook any potentially annoying habits of our new partner.

About 20 years ago as a psychotherapist working at Kaiser Permanente Point Loma, I participated in training for therapists: “How to Work with Difficult Couples.” During the training, we watched a video of several (heterosexual) couples.

These couples were interviewed at the beginning of their relationship and again two years later.

When the couple was new and so in love, they found each other’s personalities very attractive. One woman said of her husband, “I just love how he plans everything and organizes things.” Her husband said, “It’s so cute how she likes to have a ‘big talk’ anytime we have even the slightest disagreement.”

Two years later, here’s the same couple. Wife, “He’s so controlling. He never lets me plan anything.” Husband, “She just can’t let anything go: we have to analyze the hell out of every little disagreement.”

These folks are not unique.

In the glow of new love, we often overlook things that could annoy us. In my experience,

(www.canstockphoto.com)

this typically lasts from three to six months (it happens sooner for some, later for others).

As I explain in my book, “The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage,” I call this “When the glitter wears off” and you see the person you’ve chosen to be with, warts and all.

When the glitter is gone, it’s not so pretty. Your partner’s annoying habits are too big to ignore and the things that you hoped might just “go away,” haven’t.

What can you do? Here are some things to try: Be willing to be surprised: We think that we know just how

San Diego’s LGBT News source Volume 9 Issue 6 March 16-29, 2018

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Vote for your favorites Page 16

2 NEWS

Candidate Malbrough speaks, Nordstrom drops out

BEATING THE ODDS

Dockless bikes in Hillcrest

q INTERVIEW

By William E. Kelly Editor’s Note: This is the second in a three-part series.

Read the first in the series online at bit.ly/2tGWqD9.

Liz Carmouche, a 125-pound bantamweigh t women's MMA fighter, is ranked No. (Courtesy of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu) 6 in the world.

Former Christian rocker comes out

First openly lesbian fighter makes Albert H. Fulcher | Editor In 2010, when Liz Carmouche decided she wanted to compete in the MMA (mixed martial arts) professionally, she did so with a “head on” approach. She was

i THEATER

her way to the top of MMA rankings

told it would take a year or more of training before she ever saw the ring. But the veteran Marine Corps aviation electrician beat the odds, getting her first chance to fight professionally within four months of starting her training.

Now after 11 wins and six losses, Carmouche is currently the No. 6 ranked 125-pound bantamweight women’s MMA fighter in the world.

see MMA, pg 11

Homelessness in the LGBTQ comm unity

Mayor brings interfaith discussion Albert H. Fulcher | Editor

OnStage Playhouse's "Spike Heels"

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DINING

Magic with cast iron

Index Opinion

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Contact us

The Interfaith Shelter Network (ISN) has been an effective program for the homeless throughout San Diego County, so far helping 8,000 homeless individuals gain access to resources and services to get their lives back on track.

San Diego Mayor Kevin Faulconer joined the (ISN) in asking LGBT-friendly congregations to join the network and open their doors to homeless individuals at the ISN Summit on March 5 at St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral.

“We know there are a number of LGBTQ individuals experiencing homelessness and they need our help. That’s why we are asking LGBTQ-friendly congregations, who understand their needs, to join our care network and provide a temporary place for them to begin turning their lives around,” said Faulconer in a press release.

to LGBT–affirming congregations

Candidate Ken Malbrough ● Opening statement

(l to r) ISN Summit panelists, The Very Rev. Penny Bridges, Trisha Brereton, Fernando Lopez, Gary Owen, and Jonathan Herrera (Photo by Albert H. Fulcher)

The ISN Summit discussion addressing the summit. “This panel consisted of The Very is a network that works and Rev. Penny Bridges, dean, with your help and participaSt. Paul’s Cathedral; Trisha tion, I think you will see the Brereton, ISN executive dibenefits in so many ways. That rector; Fernando Lopez, San is why I am optimistic about Diego LGBT Pride executive our opportunities to begin makdirector; Gary Owen, ISN voling a real difference.” unteer; and Jonathan Herrera, Faulconer said that combatsenior advisor on homelessne ss ting homelessness is about crecoordination for the city of San ating that safe space for those Diego. in need, regardless of someone’s “You all represent the fabrace, color, religion, gender, sexric of our city for wanting to ual orientation, national origin, do the right thing and helpage or disabilities. ing people get back on their feet,” Faulconer said when see ISN,

“The county has $2 billion in reserve tax dollars just floating in a cloud of unknown use by county supervisors,” Malbrough said.

He said he pledges to “seek community input” on how these reserve tax dollars can best be utilized and would like to see them invested in “chronically neglected or underfunded areas,” such as housing and public safety in underserved communities.

“My priority is reducing our homelessness epidemic and addressing this issue region-wide,” he said.

“Providing access to health and human services is the primary and more affordable method to avoid the pathway to homelessness and incarceration.”

pg 15

Editorial/Letters

see Candidates, pg 5

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On June 5, San Diego County will hold primary elections for the following seats: county board of supervisors; county assessor/ recorder/county clerk; county treasurer/tax collector; district attorney; county sheriff; county board of education members; community college district members; and superior court judges.

In the first of this series, I spoke to Omar Passons and Lori Saldana, two of the six candidates I interviewed who wish to represent District 4 on the San Diego County board of supervisors .

Each candidate I spoke to agreed to focus on the challenges facing seniors, and was offered the opportunity to state their priorities, objectives, goals and plans to address and achieve those priorities, as well as share their experience and qualifications.

Following are the highlights of responses by candidates Ken Malbrough and Marcia Nordstrom.

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our partner would respond in a situation. Sometimes, it takes infidelity or a major life crisis to show us that there is a lot we don’t know about our partner, no matter how long we’ve been together. As a psychotherapist for couples, I enjoy helping couples make a fresh start and deal with “ghosts” from their past.

Slow down: A lot of times, our worst arguments go so fast that we barely know what we’re feeling and saying. Often, we say such mean things in moments of shock/anger that we wish we could have a “do-over” and do it better. Slowing down difficult

discussions can help achieve this.

When you feel like you’re about to explode, slow the situation down by calling a “time out” and getting away from each other so both of you can cool down.

Stay focused on the big picture: Don’t make your partner into a “monster.” It’s tempting to demonize your partner — it lets you feel superior. This is typical of a power struggle. I see it a lot in the couples I work with. Instead of going down this unhappy path, remember why you’re still with this person. Remind yourself of all the loving things they’ve done for you. Recall why you chose them

out of all the other people in the world. Remember why you still love them.

Contain your drama: Sure, it’s cathartic to vent, but pick one friend (two at the most) to share how pissed off you are at your loved one. When other people ask, “How are you two doing?”

Give them a polite but general answer, like: “We’re dealing with some things and we’re hanging in there.” If people pry for more dirt, don’t give it to them. It just makes the situation worse. And what to do with your “friends” who want to hear all the dirt? Realize that they’re not really your friends.

Real friends want you to be happy and your relationship to be great.

Fake friends don’t.

Want to know more? Check out my book on relationships (lifebeyondtherapy.com/mybook) or give me a call if you’d like to know more about the benefits (and challenges) of couples counseling.

Falling in love is easy.

Staying in love takes work.

Luckily, in most cases, the work is so, so worth it.

Don’t give up, get help.

— Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia.

Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

Graphic by www.

CanStockPhoto.com.

TheCenTer events @TheCen Thursday, June 27

Mondays

Disabled OUT & Proud Discussion Group

Mobile Medical Unit

3-7 pm, The Center

7-8:30 pm, The Center

This group exists to center people with physical disabilities and who identify as LGBTQ. This space is meant to give LGBTQ people with disabilities an opportunity to express their needs, share their stories, and let them know that they have a place in the community. This group meets the 4th Thursday of the month. For more information, contact discussion@thecentersd.org.

Saturday, June 29

8th Annual YPC Academy Graduation Brunch, 11 am-2 pm, The Prado at Balboa Park

For the past eight years, the YPC Academy Graduation Brunch has celebrated the accomplishments and future endeavors of the Young Professionals Council Academy.

We invite you to join the 2019 Graduating class and members of the Young Professionals Council as we toast to their accomplishments. Single admission tickets are $65 and include a buffet brunch. Additional supporter and sponsorship levels are available at donate.thecentersd.org/ ypcbrunch. This event is wheelchair accessible and ASL interpretation will be provided. For more information contact ypc@thecentersd.org.

www.thecentersd.org The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 Twitter: @LGBTCenter

facebook.com/At.The.Center

The Family Health Centers of San Diego Mobile Medical Unit will be located in The Center’s parking lot every Monday from 3-7 pm! Services include basic primary care, immunizations, PrEP (through Rx), STD screening & treatment, chest/breast cancer screening, family planning, pap smears, pregnancy testing, hormone therapy and sick & well visits. Contact The Center at 619.692.2077 x211 to make an appointment!

nominations open for 2019 Community Wall of honor The Community Wall of Honor at The Center is one of the nation’s only LGBT community memorial displays dedicated to honoring and remembering important local LGBT community members.

Established in 2004, the Wall recognizes and celebrates those San Diego LGBT community members and allies who have had a significant positive impact upon the San Diego LGBT community. A special ceremony will be held at The Center on Thursday, September 12, 2019 to honor this year’s inductees who will be selected through a nomination process overseen by a community advisory committee. Nominations for induction onto the 2019 Community Wall of Honor will be open through June 30, 2019. Nomination criteria and application form can be found online at http://bit.ly/woh19. For more information, or to request the nomination application in printed form, please contact rebekah hook-held at rhookheld@thecentersd.org.

6

OPINION

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

gay-sd.com

Guest Editorial

Owning our heroic legacy at Stonewall 50 Flipping the victim narrative on its head, Stonewall liberated us to tell our stories in our own voices. There’s healing power in that — if we claim it.

By John-Manuel Andriote The last weekend of June will mark the 50th anniversary of the 1969 riots at New York’s Stonewall Inn that launched the ‘modern’ LGBTQ equality movement.

This month, we also marked the 38th year since HIV/AIDS began both to drive and sidetrack the movement as it cut a deadly path through gay male communities across America.

Anniversaries are good times to assess the present

against the past, consider what has changed for better or worse, and retell the stories that make up our personal and community history. How we frame those stories makes all the difference in how we live our lives.

As any LGBTQ person can tell you, we are among society’s most traumatized women and men. From the time we’re kids, we are abused, beaten up, insulted, rejected, and tossed out.

Sadly and not surprisingly, being treated like someone who

EDITOR Albert H. Fulcher (619) 961-1960 albert@sdcnn.om

SALES & MARKETING DIRECTOR Mike Rosensteel (619) 961-1958 mike@sdcnn.com

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS John-Manuel Adriote Ben Cartwright Bob Kelly Michael Kimmel Cassidy Klein Nicole Murray Ramirez Frank Sabatini Jr.

MARKETING MANAGER Francisco Tamayo (619) 272-1279

CONTRIBUTOR www.canstockphoto.com WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA Albert Fulcher albert@sdcnn.com COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich

ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962 accounting@sdcnn.com

DISTRIBUTION Gay San Diego is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2019. All rights reserved.

PUBLISHER David Mannis (619) 961-1951 david@sdcnn.com

is “less than” can seep inside our minds and hearts. It’s too easy to think we don’t deserve to be treated with exactly the same respect, and possess the exact same legal rights, as people who happen to be heterosexual. It’s too easy to stigmatize ourselves.

It’s not coincidental that a disproportionate number of LGBTQ men and women live with mental health challenges like depression and anxiety.

It’s not surprising gay men, particularly young African

American gay men, continue to bear the greatest impact of HIV in the U.S. Consider this: Research finds that half of gay men are sexually abused as boys, and an even higher percentage of African American and Latino gay men.

This suggests that our risky choices are probably driven by depression, substance overuse, and damaged self-esteem at least as strongly as “horniness” alone. It also suggests that HIV prevention and treatment adherence messages must address

OPINIONS/LETTERS: Gay San Diego encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email either to albert@sdcnn.com and include your phone number and address for verification.

We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy.

Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or staff.

SUBMISSIONS/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@sdcnn.com.

For breaking news and investigative story ideas contact the editor by phone or email.

Copyright © 2019 San Diego Community News Network

mental health challenges.

Odd as it may sound, LGBTQ folk are also some of the most resilient people anywhere. And that is precisely what the world first saw at the Stonewall Inn on the night of Friday, June 27, 1969. The riots became the historic touchstone they are because of what followed them.

It seemed that overnight, the closet had become an anachronism of a darker time. “Gay

see Stonewall, pg 7

Business Improvement Association

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COMMUNITY VOICES / OPINION

National LGBT Wall of Honor at the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village, New York City (Courtesy photos)

Stonewall 50: New York City Conversations with Nicole Nicole Murray Ramirez

N

ext week, I will be in New York for the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. Twenty-five years ago, I was elected as the national co-chair of Stonewall 25, which included a march on the United Nations and a big rally in Central Park with entertainment by Liza Minnelli, Gregory Hines and RuPaul.

Now, 25 years later, I return as the founder and national cochair of the National LGBTQ Wall of Honor, which will be dedicated next Thursday, June 27, at the historic Stonewall Inn in New York City. Rea Carey, the executive director of the National LGBTQ Task Force in Washington, D.C., is my co-chair.

This wall of honor will

FROM PAGE 6

STONEWALL liberation” meant literally freeing ourselves — throwing off the psychological and spiritual shackles — of the shame and blame heterosexuals had imposed on LGBTQ people simply for being “different.”

It meant “coming out,” proudly embracing that difference, and standing together in solidarity as a community.

Stonewall gave LGBTQ people a new way to tell our story, as individuals and as a community. It flipped the narrative on its head, rejecting the role of victim we seemed always to be cast in — and too often cast ourselves.

Instead, we asserted our freedom and right to tell our story in our own voices. Gay and lesbian historians began to document and piece together stories from our past so we could finally answer Harry Hay’s questions at the time he founded the Mattachine Society in 1950, the country’s first

remember our community's pioneers, trailblazers and heroes and is being sponsored by the International Imperial Courts Council and the task force. And yes, it's like our own San Diego Wall of Honor, located at the San Diego LGBT Community Center, which I also founded to remember those shoulders we stand on. The Wall of Honor at the Stonewall Inn will start with 50 LGBTQ activists and leaders who are no longer with us including such heroes as Harvey Milk, Matthew Shepard, Barbara Gittings, James Baldwin, Leslie Feinberg, Sylvia Rivera, Chuck Renslow, Leonard Matlovich, Marsha P. Johnson, Frank Kameny, Keith Haring, Christine Jorgensen, Henry "Harry" Hay, Gilbert Baker, Bayard Rustin, Patricia Neil Warren, Vito Russo, Edie Windsor, Pedro Zamora, Randy Shilts, and Jose Julio Sarria, among others. As I have said

so many times: A community, indeed a civil rights movement, that doesn't know where it came from doesn't know where it's going. This wall at the Stonewall Inn has been a dream of mine for many years as I have had the honor to have known and worked with many of the great, dedicated heroes whose names will be going on it.

I must acknowledge the owner of the Stonewall Inn, Kurt Kelly, who has been outstanding in his support and accommodated this historic project. This could not have happened without Rea's and my hard-working team: Coco LaChine, Russell Roybal, John Carrillo, Sarah Massey, Nathan Page, Henry Bastos Woods, Billy Bastos Woods, Tree, and especially Stolichnaya Vodka and its wonderful gay ambassador Patrik Gallineaux. Among the special speakers at the unveiling of the

“homophile” organization: Who are gay people? Where do gay people come from? Where have gays been throughout history?

Finally, after Stonewall, we began to value our own history and understand that LGBTQ history is American history and part of even greater history of the human race. We could finally assert our pride in the many and multifold contributions we have made throughout the ages, in every area of life.

And we could begin, at last, to bring our lives and loves into full (at least fuller) public view, no longer afraid to say out loud that we love, too, and happen to love a person of our own sex.

Heterosexual America caught a glimpse of how deep and real our love was when they saw us tending our friends and lovers in the dark AIDS years, and mourning our dead openly and even flamboyantly in the AIDS Memorial Quilt.

In a mere half-century, we have been tested by legalized homophobia aimed at stripping us of our Constitutional rights and a deadly health crisis. We have prevailed in

society-shaping challenges to the laws that oppress us, most dramatically in the 2015 Supreme Court decision to permit legal same-sex marriage nationwide. And we, our community’s activists, have been instrumental in pushing and pulling political and scientific leaders along to the point that HIV is now a chronic manageable condition, not a death sentence.

We have a tremendous amount to be proud of at this 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. Best of all is we have what I call a heroic legacy of brave men and women to claim for ourselves.

That’s why my message is this: Own the history of Stonewall for yourself. Feel proud of our community’s awesome organizing, caregiving, and fundraising in the AIDS years. Weave the legends and lessons of Stonewall into your personal story. And tell your story, and our story, not as a tale of woe — but as a heroic journey of triumphing over adversity to find healing and create a life that is Stonewall strong.

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

wall will be Judy and Dennis Shepard, Stuart Milk, Mandy Carter, California state Senate President Toni Atkins, Karina Samala, Kamryn Whitley, Kierra Johnson and 11-year-old Chase Xavier Matys-Gleason.

I will be in New York for nearly a week and attending many events. Sadly, there has been somewhat of a rift in New York City's LGBT activist community and thus there are now two, yes two, marches/ parades being held, causing some confusion for many people coming to Stonewall 50 (which is expected to see attendance in the millions). I have been coming to New York since the 1970s and have always stopped by the Stonewall Inn which President Barack Obama made a national landmark in 2016.

Hopefully one day there will be a national LGBTQ wall of honor in Washington, D.C. ... hummmmm.

9 San Diego Legendary Drag Queens

In celebration of Stonewall 50, the San Diego History Center, located in the heart of Balboa Park, will present a historic exhibit of nine of San Diego's legendary drag queens from June 21 to Sept.

8. The nine queens are Chad Michaels, Tootie, Babette Schwartz, Paris, Franceska, Lala Too, Norma, Glitz Glam

7

and this old queen. The opening ribbon-cutting ceremony is this Friday evening, June 21, and the first lady of San Diego, Katherine Stuart Faulconer, is the honorary chair of this fabulous exhibition.

A big thank you to Dr. Lillian Faderman, Bob Morris, Bill Lawrence, Clarione Gutierrez and the outstanding staff of the History Center as well as the Imperial Court de San Diego.

—Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the “Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest” by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail. com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this column are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of Gay San Diego and/or its parent company, San Diego Community News Network (SDCNN). The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

“Legendary Drag Queens of San Diego” will be on display at the San Diego History Center June 21-Sept. 8.

—John-Manuel Andriote’s latest book ‘Stonewall Strong: Gay Men’s Heroic Fight for Resilience, Good Health, and a Strong Community’ is now available in paperback. He is also the author of ‘Victory Deferred: How AIDS Changed Gay Life

in America.’ His work has appeared in print and online publications ranging from The Atlantic to the Washington Post. He writes the Stonewall Strong blog on gay men’s resilience for Psychology Today. Visit his website at jmandriote.com.

Married June 2, 2019 Justin Brent & Gordon L Myers Engaged 46 Years

Justin Brent

Father Don Greene

Gordon L Myers

8

NEWS

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

gay-sd.com

Leading with Love North County LGBTQ Resource Center holds annual fundraising gala Albert H. Fulcher | Editor On June 9, the North County LGBTQ Resource Center held its annual gala, “Leading with Love” at the Leichtag Foundation Coastal Roots Farm to raise money for its ongoing programs and services to the North County LGBTQ community.

The afternoon was filled with music by Celeste and Dogfish Jazz Collection, Mystery Boxes sold by

the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a silent art auction of local queer artist Patrick Brown, direct donations and live auctions filled the afternoon with entertainment, powerful testimonies and recognition of the many people and organizations that support the Resource Center year-round.

Ruby Empress XL Ajax emceed the afternoon events which aimed to support more homeless youth, serve more marginalized and

North County LGBTQ Resource Center Executive Director Max Disposti talks about the triumphs and struggles of the center’s programs at the Leading with Love gala on June 9. (Photos by Albert H. Fulcher) disadvantaged people through its diversity of programs.

This signature events is the cornerstone of what keeps the Resource Center’s doors open as it serves thousands of people each year.

Executive Director Max Disposti recognized several openly gay elected officials that came in support of the Resource Center. He also recognized corporate sponsors and local organizations for their support, including Harrah’s Resort & Casino who donated $15,000 to the Resource Center.

Sister Ida Know from the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence was presented with the Resource Center’s Ambassador of the Year award.

“We started this gala nearly 10 years ago,” Disposti said.

“I would say for the past 11 years we have done everything we could to grow our support circle, and we have. Despite all of the great work we have been doing, it hasn’t come without a price. The center has been vandalized several times over the past few years, last time just a few weeks ago. Perhaps it was a people that don’t agree with what we do or just a reminder that homophobia and transphobia still exist. But they got the message that we are still here to stay.”

Disposti said that many people told him in the beginning

the Resource Center would not be accepted in North County, especially being such a military town.

“But, this coming Wednesday our local service members are having their own Pride parade and we are invited as their guest of honor,” Disposti said. “Never underestimate where queer people can be. We are truly everywhere.

That should be noted that we are definitely making a difference here.”

Disposti said it has been a struggle in LGBTQ local history and things have changed, but said, “We have had to fight for these things to change.”

“Despite some of these achievements, despite marriage equality, still coming out as a gay trans person in Escondido, or even here in Encinitas is not an easy thing to do,” Disposti continued. “We talk to these people every day who are struggling with their families.

They find themselves out on the street when their family finds out that they are trans.

These are real numbers, not just ideas. Forty percent of our LGBTQ youth happen to be homeless due to lack of support from their families. And those are the ones we are helping every day. We want this to go away. This is about your heart

see Leading with Love, pg 9

Gregory Richardson shares his coming out story and how the North County LGBTQ Resource Center made a difference in his life.

NEWS

gay-sd.com

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

9

FROM PAGE 8

LEADING WITH LOVE and your mind. It’s about loving people for who they are.”

Disposti said there are a few things that keep them up at night. Just in the last few month trans troops have been banned to serve. “We want our allies, all of our allies, to speak up,” he said. “Just in the past few weeks, trans people are being denied in shelters. In the time of life when they need the most help, people can be rejected from shelters, even if they are publicly funded because of religious rights. Here in California we can get by with that, but the majority of the states don’t have any protection for LGBTQ people. So we have a war on our hands.”

Gregory Richardson said that the Resource Center did wonderful things for him as a transgender person of color.

“Whenever I share my coming out story to others I am always reminded as a child I would ask my parents to have a younger brother,” he said. “I was fascinated by this idea of brotherhood. I wanted to possess the traits of this brother figure, with a deep voice, a beard and being recognized as a boy. So when I was confronted for wearing t-shirts and shorts or for dancing wildly shirtless with my male friends on hot summer days, I didn’t see a difference between them and me.”

Richardson said he didn’t understand why they used the boy’s bathroom and he had to use the girls and he didn’t understand why there was a difference of playing equally.

“When I finally began to come out, I didn’t fully recognize my identity. I researched as much as I could from famous trans people, different types of surgery procedures and legal rights,” Richardson continued.

“I realized there was a chance for me to really explore this.

However, my life at home kept

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence sell Mystery Boxes as a portion of the fundraising efforts at the Leading with Love gala. (Photos by Albert H. Fulcher) me from fully being myself because I was harassed emotionally and physically for not shaving, for kissing girls, wearing suits and presenting as masculine. I secretly worked at the North County center because I wanted to learn and give as much as I could for my same age range and to learn about the history. At my lowest point in high school I faced a deeper abusive relationship with a partner whose own internal homophobia kept me from being out. I struggled with self-acceptance as many LGBTQ youth have and also struggled with anxiety, depression, self-harm and suicidal attempts.”

Richardson said being a part of the Resource Center and an activist for people his age it gave him an entirely sense of purpose, and he built a life out of the ashes that he had buried himself in.

(l to r) Leading with Love gala host Wil Fisher, NC LGBTQ Resource Center Executive Director Max Disposti and emcee Ruby Empress XL Ajax

“My toxic family had destroyed my sense of selfworth,” Richardson said. “So when I was kicked out early last year, I was completely helpless and alone. I got used to sleeping in my car, got used to the moldy smell when it rained and leaked through the windshield. I was addicted to peanut butter, bananas and rice cakes and it was easy for me to stay in school from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. because I didn’t

have any other place to go. But soon this transformed into a life that is more substantial and grateful that I can appreciate to say and when I finally reached out for help I got another chance to make things right. I found myself humbled and overwhelmed having nice warm showers and a place to sleep. I can’t explain how positive my life has been since the Unicorn Homes program started and the support that I

received from Unicorn Homes but everybody who is at this table today and students and teachers that motivated me to graduate as well. When I did go out for graduation, I heard the name I chose for myself called out on the stage.

I thank the Resource Center every day for making the platform that I needed to shine.”

—Albert Fulcher can be reached at albert@sdcnn.com.

10

DINING

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

The long-shuttered Al Reef Mediterranean Restaurant, at the corner of University Avenue and Utah Street, has sprung back to life as Two Blu Ducks, a breakfast-lunch spot that operates from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., daily. Owned by restaurateur Djani Ivanov of The Hopping Pig in the Gaslamp Quarter, the commodious 3,500-square-foot restaurant is still in its soft opening with portions of the menu still in development, we’re told.

2835 University Ave.

Gordon Biersch is set to close next month. (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.) Over in the Westfield Mission Valley shopping center, the long-established Gordon Biersch is closing July 15. It will be replaced in late fall by Puesto, a top-quality taco chain with several regional locations

locally owned and operated by two Mexican-American families. The owners will also take over the existing brewing system and produce their own beers. 5010 Mission Center Road, gordonbiersch.com and eatpuesto.com.

Signage reading “BBW” is now up on the former Starbuck’s that operated near The Observatory North Park. To the befuddlement of some, the acronym does not stand for “big beautiful women,” but rather for Belgian Beer and Waffles.

Due to open by late July, the eatery is being launched by Frenchman Guillaume Ryon, whose other ventures include a few San Diego locations of Le Parfait Paris.

The cafe will feature a variety of beers, plus beer-battered waffles, assorted savory dishes, ice cream and other confections from his Le Parfait Paris repertoire.

2899 University Ave.

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Vegan chicken and waffles with faux bacon at a new plant-based restaurant in North Park (Courtesy photo)

An all-vegan menu featuring more than 200 food and beverage items awaits at The Modern Vegan in North

Park, which opened June 8 in a new mixed-use complex on 30th Street.

The restaurant marks the second location by owners Todd and Gia Schultz, who opened the original Modern Vegan last year in Las Vegas. The dual-residency couple say the menus are the same at both locations, a compendium of “all-American comfort favorites” that include loaded nachos, Louisiana fried “chicken” and “lobster” rolls.

There are also shakes, smoothies and organic juices and sodas. A full liquor license is in the pipeline. 4332 30th St., 619-310-5712, tmvrestaurants.com.

Chef Ernesto Moreno is creating a menu for a new South American restaurant in Normal Heights. (Courtesy of Lindsay Brean Public Relations) Former sous chef for Urban Plates in Los Angeles, Ernesto Moreno, will serve as executive chef at the all-organic Pachamana, due to open in Normal Heights in July by former professional tennis player and model, Victoria Vannucci of Argentina.

In keeping with the restaurant’s South American slant, the chef will replicate dishes indigenous to Peru, Columbia, Venezuela, Argentina and A triple-themed vegan eatery is moving into the structure where Anthem restaurant previously operated before it recently took over the kitchen at nearby Toronado.

The ambitious project, called The Village, will offer Mexican food, sushi and menu items from the La Mesa-based Natural Delights Juice Bar, which also serves vegan wraps.

“We’ll have three different menus all under the same roof,” said Natural Delights manager, Esmeralda Gutierrez, whose mother, Sonia Gutierrez, and aunt, Alondra Ruiz, own the operation.

Due to open by early

Chilaquiles from the first-time brunch menu at Sammy’s Woodfired Pizza & Grill (Courtesy Crave Imagery) Mission Valley is abuzz with culinary news.

On June 19, Breakfast Republic opened in Park Valley Center, replacing Panda Express. This marks

Chile, as well as Mexico and Cuba.

Moreno was also a kitchen manager at the LA location of Cafe Gratitude, the plantbased restaurant with a local branch in Little Italy. A native of San Diego County, his menu will feature only a small amount of animal proteins sourced from humanely raised livestock. 3737 Adams Ave., 619-363-2358, whoispachamama.com.

This mango smoothie and other vegan drinks by Natural Delights are coming to a multi-concept restaurant in Uptown. (Courtesy photo) August, the interior design, she added, may have two or three different types of seating areas. 2611 El Cajon Blvd. the San Diego-based restaurant chain’s ninth location. 1570 Camino de la Reina, 619-3106214, breakfastrepublic.com.

A stone’s throw away, in the same plaza, Sammy’s Woodfired Pizza & Grill recently debuted brunch service for the first time in the company’s 30-year history.

It is the only location out of 12 that is offering the menu, available from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturdays and Sundays. And with a recently obtained full-liquor license, a crafty cocktail program has been introduced.

1620 Camino de la Reina, 619298-8222, sammyspizza.com.

—Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at fsabatini@san.rr.com.

DINING

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No bloat, no guilt Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr.

I

t is one of the largest mall restaurants in San Diego County, and with a menu that gives shoppers a plethora of healthy, sophisticated meal choices. At nearly 10,000 square feet, True Food Kitchen has been luring shoppers at Fashion Valley Mall for more than six years with cuisine that is much too wholesome for any food court.

Located on the ground level at the mall’s east end, the bill of fare follows the dietary dictates of founder Andrew Weil, a doctor of integrative medicine famous for his anti-inflammatory food pyramid.

With multiple locations throughout the country, including another locally in Westfield UTC mall, Dr. Weil isn’t quite the staunch opponent of meats and rich sauces as other food police. In the reasonably restrained measures in which he allows for them, you suddenly start forgetting about that weighty stromboli upstairs at Sbarro when chomping into True Food Kitchen’s creative, seasonal cuisine.

Vegans and vegetarians feel right at home here. So do carnivores, provided they can settle for things like grass-fed burgers, chicken-sausage lasagna and grilled salmon instead fatty beef and pork of any kind.

Weil’s multi-scaled food pyramid puts vegetables and fruits at the base. The model ascends into lesser portions of pastas and grains, followed by healthy fats such as olive oil, avocados and flaxseeds. After those are fish and seafood, then soy foods, cheese, lean meats, tea, vitamin supplements, and yes, red wine.

Sitting at the tip of the

pyramid is a piece of dark chocolate, which for us translated into a slice of flourless chocolate cake that was more ravishing than most due to its decently salted and unusually thin caramel sauce.

Even after grazing through appetizers and entrees, dessert is doable because the food lacks bad oils and excessive fat, not to mention debilitating amounts of carbs that ultimately result in food comas.

My vegetarian lunch companion took delight in the number of “safe” choices the menu offers, ranging from sprightly salads and roasted veggies to bubbling pizzas and meat-free sandwiches. I wove some meat and fish into my choices, and still came away with a spring in my step.

“For the table” is a clean, engaging appetizer that gives you three dipping bowls filled separately with herby hummus, guacamole strewn with kale, and a soupy but delicious black-olive puree that carried the meaty essence of low-brine kalamata olives.

Served alongside were wedges of pita bread, colorful heirloom carrots and chilled cucumber spears. The ratio of dips to dippers, however, seemed a little out of whack as we found ourselves spooning through the bowls well after the bread and veggies disappeared.

Orange-tinted chicken satay is so exquisitely marinated in achiote spice that I was tempted to request a triple order of the skewers in lieu of an entree.

The dish’s south-of-the-border spin is further accentuated by a side of hummus-like “salsa” made with pumpkin seeds, cilantro and cucumber.

We shared a substantial “Good Earth” kale Cobb salad served in deconstructed form, and with the addition of cubed tofu. The bowl contained sections of watermelon radishes,

7007 Friars Road (Fashion Valley Mall) 619-810-2929 truefoodkitchen.com Prices: Starters and salads, $10-$16 Pizzas, $12.50-$16 Bowls, $13-$16 Burgers and sandwiches, $13-$17 Entrees, $14-$26 tenderly roasted asparagus, ripe cherry tomatoes and garbanzo beans. There was also dried corn, which I could have done without because of its hard, chewy texture.

Otherwise it was a fine medley supported also by romaine lettuce, a thick chunk of avocado and cashew poblano ranch dressing that yielded a tinge of spiciness.

Afterward, my friend reveled in the TLT sandwich featuring smokey strips of tempeh as the understudy to bacon. Stacked also with crisp lettuce and sliced tomatoes, the seeded grain bread lapped up the right level of moisture with the help of vegan mayo. A simple hash of oven-roasted sweet potatoes and caramelized onions was an enjoyable and healthy alternative to french fries, which you’ll need to go elsewhere to find.

I chose grilled salmon for my main course. The perfectly cooked filet was lightly seasoned — nothing out of the ordinary except for the zesty cilantro-pumpkin seed pesto sitting underneath. It paired to the fish as naturally as peppercorn gravy does to filet mignon.

With a full bar in place, we skipped over wine, beer and some intriguing cocktails such as cherry-bourbon sours and basil-cucumber Collins, opting instead for super-refreshing

Grilled salmon with farro, quinoa and arugula The TLT with tempeh, lettuce and tomato

11

True Food Kitchen

The “Good Earth” kale Cobb salad

Chicken satay

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

Wholesome eating at Fashion Valley Mall (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.) “quenchers.” The pomegranate-chia limeade was pleasantly tart; the very green “kale aid” tasted a bit too vegetal for my liking; and the “medicine man” was gulpable with its mix of green tea, black cherry juice, pomegranate seeds, honey and sea buckthorn, an obscure eastAsian berry high in monounsaturated fatty acids.

True Food Kitchen’s airy, organic design corresponds swimmingly to the culinary concept.

The entrance is flanked by herb gardens, and inside are mixed woods and live greenery

growing along illuminated side walls.

For worn-down shoppers in need of an energy boost, it’s the ideal place to revive those swollen feet and eat your way back to life before setting out for a few more mall laps.

—Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune.

You can reach him at fsabatini@san.rr.com.

12

THEATER

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

gay-sd.com

Somewhere that’s green…

Albert H. Fulcher | Editor Never disparage the quality entertainment of what a small theater company can achieve.

New Village Arts’ production of the cult classic “Little Shop of Horrors” is an example of excellence in revamping a campy, horror production. Director AJ Knox’s vision transported the audience into a B movie lover’s paradise, and it was a wonderful crazy ride.

With a stellar troupe willing to take a risk at genderbending roles and unprecedented unexpected twists, this is by far one of the campiest versions that filled the theatre with belly laughs and awe.

The “Skid Rowettes,” Crystal (Natasha Baenisch), Chiffon (Patricia Jewel) and Ronnie (Chris Bona) are often overlooked, but they are an integral part of the play and have more time on stage than any other performers. In their multiplicity, they carried the show with their own numbers, standing in as abstract characters and in this case, even playing a role in the plant from outer space Audrey II. Bona held nothing back, being the only male in the normally three-woman trio. He kept up with the sultry motions, the higher octaves and the campy nature of these musical narrators. Their harmony was as smooth as their moves and as a team they stood out as front runners rather than backup singers.

Sittichai Chaiyahat (Seymour) and Cashae Monya (Audrey) were a perfectional pairing. There was a visible connection between the two and together and individually they both captured the comedic spirit that this show is all about.

“Suddenly Seymour” was as strong and tender as it should be. Monya’s “Somewhere That’s Green” was simply lovely in her delivery. Working together, forgive the pun, they fed off each other, which strengthened the bond in their performances.

(Off the beaten path.) For me, they also made a strong statement as an interracial couple, and for Audrey, that women of color are the highest population subjected to domestic violence.

It was a pure satisfaction watching Ms. Mushnik (Melissa Fernandes). She brought some new life into this production solely by being a woman. This twisted the storyline enough that carried this play in a new direction. To top it off, she can sing, move and has impeccable comedic timing.

Our favorite dentist for dinner Orin Scrivello (Philip David Black) was just over the top. He was truly the man you loved to hate, and he played it through on maximum overdrive.

We have to talk about Audrey II. I’ve seen the movie and more productions of “Little Shop” that I can count, but I have never seen such a bold

and beautiful move in bringing Audrey II (Eboni Muse) to life.

Muse’s powerful voice and the entire set up of the fully-grown Audrey II plant was magnificent. It was marvelous having a person and not a puppet and with the help of the Skid Rowettes, Audrey II grew into a spectacular and beautiful set for this character. And Muse transformed this sci-fi creature into a living, breathing, singing creature larger than life.

This play has everything for a mind-blowing production.

Amazing sets, powerhouse singing, funny to the bone and some extremely curious oddities thrown in made for an excellent day at the theater. Whether you are a fan of “Little Shop of Horrors” or not, this is one production you’ll be sorry you missed.

—Albert Fulcher can be reached at albert@sdcnn.com.

(Ebony Muse) Audrey II starts blooming as the man eating plant grows larger.

(l to r) Patricia Jewel (Chiffon), Natasha Baenisch (Crystal) and Chris Bona (Ronnie) play the skid row singers in this gender bending production of “Little Shop of Horrors.” (Photos by Daren Scott)

(l to r) Sittichai Chaiyahat (Seymour) and Cashae Monya (Audrey)

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PUZZLE SOLUTION: (FROM PAGE 14)

NOT QUITE HOMO

14

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

‘Significant Other’ – As Jordan Berman pounds the New York City pavement searching for Mr. Right, he wards off lonely nights with his trio of close-knit girlfriends. As singles’ nights turn into bachelorette parties, Jordan must face his own capacity to love and be loved. This hilarious and heart-wrenching Broadway comedy dives into the trenches of urban single life and the aspirational gay wedding, reminding us that you can’t hurry love — no matter how much you wish you could.

Diversionary Theatre. Runs through June 23. $15-$25.

Dates and times vary. 4545 Park Blvd. #101. bit.ly/2EenrRf ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ – Take a musical journey through the streets of skid row to a rundown flower shop where a bloodthirsty plant from another world eagerly awaits its next victim. Full of delightfully demented humor, this long-running off-Broadway musical comedy was inspired

by Roger Corman's shockingly schlocky B-movie. Enjoy all the bloody good fun of doo-wop inspired songs like “Somewhere That’s Green,” “Feed Me” and “Suddenly, Seymour” with this creepy, campy creature feature ... starring some of San Diego's best musical theater talent!

Runs through Aug. 4 at New Village Arts Theatre. $28$50. 2787 State St., Carlsbad. bit.ly/2XlbErQ Red Dress Party 2019 – Red Dress Party San Diego is a whimsical fundraising event where everyone is encouraged to be brave, let loose, and celebrate impact.

Like the name suggests, attendees are required to wear a red dress, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. This serves as a powerful sign of compassion and solidarity for those affected by HIV/ AIDS and as a way to unite the crowd in one radiant theme. Pre-sale tickets now available at discounted prices for this Sept. 14 event.

General admission: $55.

VIP admission: $150. Port Pavilion on Broadway Pier.

100 N. Harbor Drive. bit.ly/2HnWRpr

gay-sd.com San Diego Pride – Tickets are on sale for this year’s San Diego Pride Festival on July 13-14. The festival is time to be out and proud in San Diego tradition. Enjoy the city’s largest celebration with thousands of attendees, vendors and information booths. Entertainment includes more than 100 entertainers with four stages.

General Admission: $15-$30.

VIP Admission: $150-$200.

High school-aged youth and under admitted for free at the box office. Marston Point, Balboa Park, Sixth Avenue and Laurel Street. sdpride.org

Friday, June 21

‘Legendary Drag Queens of San Diego’ – Join the San Diego History Center (SDHC) for the opening reception of its newest exhibit, “Legendary Drag Queens of San Diego.” As a part of the groundbreaking exhibition, “LGBTQ+ San Diego: Stories of Struggles + Triumphs,” the SDHC will shine the spotlight on the performance art of drag. You are invited to experience Legendary Drag Queens of San Diego and help commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall rebellion – a pivotal moment in LGBTQ+ history. Curated by noted LGBTQ+ historian and author Dr. Lillian Faderman, and in collaboration with the Imperial Court de San Diego, the exhibit will feature elaborate, glittering costumes and personal stories of leading drag queens who have made their name not only locally but nationally. San Diego’s first lady Katherine Faulconer will be the honorary chair of the exhibition. San Diego History Center members: Free.

Nonmembers: $10. 1649 El Prado, Suite 3. bit.ly/2KoSxtS

Saturday, June 22

Family overnight – Experience a truly rare opportunity to see the Star of India, as you never have before! The Maritime Museum of San Diego is proud to offer this unique opportunity to spend a night aboard the 1863 Star of India. While you will not technically leave the

dock, you will embark on an imaginary voyage to relive the lives and times of the Great Age of Sail. For families with elementary students, your child may know all about our Living History programs aboard the Star of India. We have adapted the program to allow the public an opportunity to participate in this exciting experience as well! Costumed characters will teach various activities such as moving cargo and raising sails. Not only will you see areas of the ship that are closed to the public, but you will be able to get a firsthand experience of what life at sea might have been like in the 19th century. We welcome you aboard and look forward to your arrival on this very special trip! Prices are $75 per person for adults and children over 5 years of age and includes food and accommodations. 1942 N. Harbor Drive. bit.ly/2IOegIx 12th annual Pachanga de Frida – Each year, the San Diego LGBT Community Center celebrates the birthday of Frida Kahlo, commemorating the legendary life of one of the most influential Mexican painters of the 20th century. Attendees will enjoy live music, art exhibits by local Latinx artists and vendors, a Frida look-alike contest, great food and tequila! Proceeds from this event benefit The Nicole MurrayRamirez Latino Services @ The Center. Tickets start at $20 for standing tickets, $30 for table ticket. Community partner table and sponsorships are available. 3909 Centre St. bit.ly/2FgZXvn

Tuesday, June 25

‘Stonewall Uprising’ – Watch a moving and insightful film for PBS American Experience series, “Stonewall Uprising,” which sheds light on this historic moment and its lasting and significant impact. When police raided the Stonewall Inn, a popular gay bar in the Greenwich Village of New York City on June 28, 1969, the street erupted into protests that lasted for the next six days. The Stonewall riots marked a

major turning point in the modern LGBT civil rights movement. Discussion and Q&A followed by the film.

6-8 p.m. Free. San Diego County Library, Encinitas Branch, 540 Cornish Drive, Encinitas. bit.ly/2FaEjZB

Friday, June 28

Stonewall Uprising 50th anniversary San Diego Kings – It' s the fourth Friday! That means the Kings take over Gossip Grill! June 28 is also one of the most important dates in LGBTQ+ history, The Stonewall Riots. Come join the San Diego Kings as they remember the event that started it all! Your favorites take the stage with our special guests Leggs Benedict and Sister Allison Wonderland! Doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m. Come early to get the best seats in the house! $7 at the door. Credit cards accepted, but don’t forget your tip money. DJ Kinkyloops spins after the show to keep the party going, and Gossip's hotties pour cool drinks all night long! bit.ly/2IT8vcR Impride LGBTQ+ Pride Comedy Festival – Finest City Improv is partnering with San Diego Pride to bring you our fourth annual Impride LGBTQ+ Pride Comedy Festival, benefiting San Diego Pride.

The festival features three days of LGBTQ+ related improv comedy teams, featured shows, workshops, yoga classes, and parties. Finest City Improv, and the improv community in general, has offered a welcoming and safe environment for the LGBTQ+ community and this festival celebrates that shared pride! June 28-30.

Workshops, shows and prices vary per event. bit.ly/2WR6HL2

Saturday, June 29

Mariam’s Tea Party: Broken Blockbuster – Featuring: Mariam T, Glitz Glam, Evelyn Rose, Michele Ada, Disco Dollie, Lolita Von Tease, Vanity Jones and Gro Tesqua. Special performance by The Diamond

‘Legislating for Our Lives’ – Hosted by ACLU of San Diego and Imperial Counties, “Legislating for Our Lives: A Forum on AB 392 and ACA6” is a forum focusing on current legislation on two important criminal justice bills.

Assembly Constitutional Amendment (ACA) 6 will restore voting rights to people on parole in CA. AB 392, the California Act to Save Lives, will update California's outdated use-offorce standard to ensure law enforcement officers avoid using deadly force when they have alternatives. Attendees will also hear how to advocate together for the passage of these bills. 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Second Chance, 6145 Imperial Ave. Registration required. bit.ly/2wZCY3p Poway Library Pride Resource Fair – San Diego County Library’s Poway branch, in partnership with Trans Family Support Services, is proud to host the second annual Pride Resource Fair. The event is open to local LGBTQIA customers, allies, families, and friends of all ages. Join us on our spacious front patio to meet many of the local organizations and advocates offering service and support to San Diego’s large and diverse communities, as well as public speakers representing local community leaders and our own LGBTQIA youth. Light refreshments, live entertainment, an open mic session, an art exhibit in the Fireside Room, and an all-ages craft will be provided for attendees. Partners include Trans Family Support Center, the North County LGBT Resource Center, PFLAG, Lambda Archive, San Diego Pride, San Diego LGBT Community Center, the Stonewall Citizens Patrol and Kaiser Medicare.

All are welcome to attend and participate in these events. bit.ly/2WPVjPv

QSyndicate.com

Q Q PUZZLE PUZZLE

solution on page 13

NOT QUITE HOMO

DOWN

ACROSS

1 “I ___ Andy Warhol” 5 Prod 10 Where Galileo dropped his balls 14 Two of a kind 15 Desmond of “Sunset Boulevard” 16 Soon, to Shakespeare 17 Manicurist's tool 18 Having sex, with “it” 19 Lucci in “All My Children” 20 Start of a quip 23 Intense devotion 24 Recesses for Rev. Perry 25 Thank a lover without words 27 Leave in the text 28 Old Hollywood film “Quo ___?”

31 More of the quip 33 Number of bulbs 37 Clay Aiken, almost 38 Shirt spoiler 40 Broadway light 41 More of the quip

Dogs. Sounds by DJ Jon Williams. Tickets $10.

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44 Come out on the beach 45 Log Cabin member, for short 46 Refrain syllable 47 Keanu in “The Matrix” 48 Puts into place 50 Most faithful 52 End of the quip 56 “Brothers & Sisters” producer Ken 58 Consumer advocate Ralph 59 Poet Kitty 62 Petty of “Orange Is the New Black” 63 “The L Word” creator Chaiken 64 Janet or niece Hunter 65 Business VIP 66 Opera guy 67 Really long time span

1 Lotion letters at South Beach 2 Israeli seaport 3 Lube user?

4 YMCA device for runners 5 “Bewitched” mother 6 Pull a boner 7 Forbidding 8 Prefix with science 9 Pesters, as Albert to Armand 10 Rights activist Malala, for one 11 Nuts 12 Rufus Wainwright output 13 Request for Vanna 21 Aussie bounders 22 Decide not to swallow 26 Still in bed 27 Time on the job 28 Homosexuality and lesbianism, to Franklin Graham 29 Reader computer program 30 Euphegenia's last name, in a movie

32 Egypt and Syr., once 34 Dramatist Williams 35 Drags 36 Some stick it where it doesn't belong 38 “Move your ass!”

39 One who offers a breast, e.g.

42 Beat the skins 43 Gilbert of “The Talk” 49 Male counterpart to a Seattle Storm player 51 Part of UHF 53 Barneys event 54 Forbidden fruit site 55 Kind of phobia 56 Grand ___ Opry 57 It goes on top of a bagel 60 One, to Frida 61 Saturn model

OPINION

gay-sd.com

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

15

Far too many seniors are aging alone, especially in the LGBTQ community

By Bob Kelly A crisis is looming.

SANDAG’s Growth Forecast predicts that by the year 2030, the local population of adults age 60 and up will double to nearly a million people. That means 1 out of every 4 San Diegans will be a senior citizen — 1 out of 4!

And guess what? We’re not ready to handle this unprecedented demographic shift.

The so-called “silver tsunami” will challenge society’s perceptions on aging and strain the already fragile network of existing services for seniors. For example, in 2014, there were 27 million more people under the age of 18 than those over the age of 65, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. By 2030, that difference will shrink to roughly 2 million. By some point in 2032 or 2033, older adults will outnumber children in the United States. With fewer young people, there will be a shortage of caregivers for our aging population.

So far, our government and community leaders — and we, as a society — have declined to see this coming crisis as a real issue. In fact, less than 2% of philanthropic dollars in the U.S. go toward seniors. It’s a shocking statistic, but the fact remains, we are not taking care of our most vulnerable population.

Within that population, the aging LGBTQ community faces an even greater set of challenges, including discrimination and higher rates of illness and poverty. There is also an increased risk for social isolation, which has been deemed “the new silent killer” because of its severely negative impact on a person’s health.

At the San Diego Seniors Community Foundation, we are a nonprofit 501(c)(3) working to ensure every senior has someone they can turn to and trust.

One of our main focus areas is on raising awareness about and increasing support for senior orphans.

What’s a senior orphan?

Senior orphans are older adults who for various reasons — including lack of nearby relatives, never having children, never getting married, divorce, or even in some cases, the death of a child — are alone and have no one to care for them as they age.

The numbers are staggering. A recent study estimates nearly a quarter of Americans 65 and older are at risk of becoming senior orphans or are already in this situation.

These figures are even higher among the LGBTQ community, and will rise dramatically as the senior population swells over the next decade. According to Sage — an advocacy and services organization for LGBT elders — lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are twice as likely to age alone and four times less likely to have children than their heterosexual counterparts.

Research also indicates that LGBT people are less likely than their straight peers to seek out senior centers, meal providers, health care services and other available resources for fear of being harassed or discriminated against.

So where does that leave senior orphans in the LGBTQ community? Who will they turn to and trust?

It’s time to do something about this situation. And I have always believed philanthropy is the key. Throughout the course of my career in public service, I have seen time and again what philanthropy can do. It has the power to transform organizations and entire cities. It has the power to transform communities and entire generations.

It’s time to mobilize this power.

One of the biggest challenges we are up against is the fact that seniors have never inspired much of a rallying cry. But why? Why are people so indifferent to the plight of our aging neighbors?

We are all going to get old someday, if we aren’t already.

We have all watched our grandparents and parents grow old, and likely been faced with tough decisions regarding their end-oflife care. And we all know someone who is a senior orphan.

One of the first steps we can collectively take is to raise awareness about the coming demographic shift and unique challenges it will present within the LGBTQ community. Next, we need to identify innovative organizations and services that address the needs of seniors, and look for opportunities to create new programs, especially those with an emphasis on

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senior orphans. Then, we must increase our charitable giving to these organizations.

If we take these vital steps, we can create a better future for this generation of seniors and generations to come, in the LGBTQ community and beyond.

Together, we can ensure they are no longer vulnerable, but vibrant.

For more information on how you can help seniors in our community, please visit sdscf.org.

—Bob Kelly is the founder and president of the San Diego Seniors Community Foundation and president emeritus of The San Diego Foundation.

Bob Kelly (Courtesy photo)

NEWS

GAY SAN DIEGO June 21 - July 4, 2019

16

FROM PAGE 1

FRATERNITY HOUSE Southern California to publicly acknowledge her HIV status and became a ferocious campaigner for resources for those persons with AIDS. Now, 30 years later, Fraternity House provides around the clock care, housing, three meals a day, and many rehabilitative programs that include extensive case management, activity programs, education and transportation. Which is a big change from its humbler beginnings.

Executive Director Matt Harding began working with Fraternity House in July, 2017.

He saw the posting for the job after losing his mother who passed away in January, 2017 and was looking to find work that fulfilled his wish to help people. Having been in the non-profit sector for a decade, Fraternity House was exactly what he was looking for.

“When I saw that this job had to do with HIV, a very important thing to me,” Harding said. “I've lived with HIV my whole life and I am an HIV negative person. My first partner was positive in the 90s before reliable drugs. He was going through blood transfusions, lymphadenectomies, and all the witch doctor things that were happening then. All of my long-time partners have been HIV+ and my current partner is HIV+ as well.

So the cause has always been very close to me and [this job] seemed like a very good fit for me.”

Harding said the number one need for everyone is to remove

Residents enjoying a recreational outing at Lake Wohlford. Fraternity House connects its residents with over 900 educational, developmental and recreational opportunities every month. (Photos courtesy Fraternity House, Inc.) the stigma that surrounds HIV and AIDS and to not see it as a barrier for others or ourselves.

“We are living in the age of antiretroviral and one magic pill a day can save somebody's life,” Harding said. “But that one pill a day assumes an awful lot of privilege. It assumes access to healthcare, a refrigerator for medicines, getting a meal a day, that your drugs aren't going to get stolen, that you have the cognitive ability to remember or even the physical capacity due to other illnesses.”

Harding said that is why Fraternity House is still needed today and that there are so many blockades that can keep a person from benefiting from antiretroviral treatment.

“Which is so silly because if you can keep that one thing at bay you can address all of the

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other issues,” Harding said. “But it starts with that. What we are doing is taking people that can literally slip through the cracks.

Not only could their story have an unhappy ending, but they could also become a burden on our society, our emergency rooms, contribute to the HIV rate and the rising homeless community.”

Harding said Fraternity House had already been making changes into adopting a more rehabilitative model because of the longevity that antiretrovirals provide. They had reached a point where some long-term residents didn't need the level of care that was being provided there but had nowhere else to go.

“They had kind of a blueprint of what they wanted to do, and it was all based around the idea of goal setting and encouraging people to move on to full independence,” Harding said. “That hinged on activities, getting people out and about and active, giving them opportunities to learn how to administer their own medicines, how to cook for themselves, and basic things. We saw immediately that there was an opportunity for a lower level of care for people but could probably still benefit with connection to services.”

Fraternity House opted to look into a scattered site master lease model where it rents apartments, furnishes them, then subleases them to clients at sliding rates as it does in its homes. Fraternity House opened two in January with two veterans each and it is opening another two bedrooms and one apartment in July. Also in October, 2018, Fraternity House changed an office space back into a bedroom at its house in Vista, adding two more beds at that facility.

Care givers are the largest portion of Fraternity House’s staff at 14, with two administrative, two program and two rehabilitative staff members.

“It's been exciting to see that growth. We had 18 in July, 2017 when I started and here in July, we will have 26 clients,” Harding said. “The bigger part that has had to grow along with that is the rehabilitative programs. It's beyond just taking folks to the movies or out to eat. It's about giving them freedom through a new transportation program where they are free to go out and do what they want and bringing in intensive case management on-site. It has been hard to connect everybody with case managers and this way they have someone who knows them, is

gay-sd.com with them around the clock and can really advocate for them.”

Harding said that it is also bringing in people with skill sets also to deal with behavioral issues like substance abuse, and the problems that come from having lived on the streets.

“It's tough,” Harding said.

“Learning to trust, learning that you don't have to carry all of your stuff around with you everywhere. It's tough bringing someone off the streets at first, because you know what they've been through and it is so foreign to them to be housed again and living in a co-ed environment.

It's great what we provide, but these things bring challenges on a personal level and they have to adapt.”

Harding said everyone at Fraternity House has been mindful as it welcomes in new residents in telling them what the program does, what is expected from them and the opportunity that is there that they are expected to take advantage of.

“That's where having staff that have that training come in handy in determining the needs of each client,” said Harding.

“One of the first things we did when I arrived was a visit to the houses so I could get to know the clients,” Harding continued. “We separated into two groups, talked about what we had in common and what was different about us in our separate groups. We then got back together to share and illustrate what we had in common.

It was so striking because this one person who was speaking for her group said the one thing they had in common is that ‘We are all fighters and survivors.’ That really put in contrast for me how these people viewed themselves and how they want to be assisted, but not necessarily helped.

There is already something there that they want to do. They've already survived something and now they want to grow and build.”

Clients, in the past have come mainly from case managers, hospitals and sometimes from prisons and those still remain sources for Fraternity House. As the program has expanded, it has transitioned more towards independence, and clients moving back in with families. Fraternity House has partnered with Choices in Recovery, reaching out to local community clinics, Pozabilities, and other organizations. Harding said Fraternity House also takes people that refer themselves, coming out of another program that isn't as comfortable for them.

“The best thing is that we are working with people that are actually going to go out and make a change in the world as well,” Harding said. “We have a client that is moving on but is also staying on to be a volunteer as a peer navigator for HIV services, so the investment also comes right back.”

Because Fraternity House is federally funded, that pays for a lot of the base services. All the money that it raises from individual donors and other grants goes to its rehabilitative programs. But Harding said there is still the need for fundraising to keep all of its growing services thriving.

“Fraternity House has a tradition of Fraternity Feasts, which are a few different fundraisers, some hosted by other groups and some hosted by us,” Harding said. “Currently, we are also looking at pledge circle member programs, which is a monthly giving program. We do Sharing by Moonlight with the Moonlight Amphitheatre which is a dinner and a show. We are inaugurating this year a Gospel Brunch fundraiser in October.

We are working with the Human Dignity Foundation which gives us an opportunity to honor those in the community of faith who have been of service to the LGBT HIV communities.”

There will be live entertainment. Babette Schwartz has agreed to emcee for this event at Martini's Above Fourth on Oct.12.

“So you are investing in helping someone being all that they can be,” Harding said. “Whether it is with us or another organization, get out there and volunteer.”

Fraternity House is in the Elfin Forest in Escondido, with eight beds. Michaelle House in Vista has 12 beds.

“We have our eyes set on growth, definitely more apartments and are looking at what other types of housing models we could use,” Harding said. “For example, something that is not Residential Care Facility, a state licensed long-term care for the chronically ill. We've been looking at having a place in Hillcrest.

We would love to have a place where we could bring people with HIV in right away, triage them and define them as short term or move them into one of our longer-term programs, link them with services, case management, somewhere between emergency and bridge housing.”

—Albert Fulcher can be reached at albert@sdcnn.com.

Caregiver with a resident assisting with insulin testing. Staff manages the medicines and care of each resident.