In Loving Memory
TRIBUTES TO OUR LOVED ONES
Helping children triumph over grief
Children are amazingly perceptive. They sense when adults around them are stressed, sad or keeping a secret. While you may beinclined to shield children from grief, this can actually lead to confusion and anger.
Wherever possible, children should be prepared for the passing of a loved one. In the event of a terminal illness, children should beprepared for the passing just as an adult would be. Death should be approached openly and honestly. Remember that children are accustomed to adults providing solutions and will have difficulty understanding why their loved one can’t be made well again. Explaining the process of death, perhaps with the assistance of suitable books, is a healthier approach than denying the tragedy. Although naturally resilient, it should not be assumed that children will be unaffected by death. They may experience any or all of the following:
Anger
Children, like adults, may feel rage at the deceased person, other relatives or themselves. They may even resent acquaintances who have not had to suffer through the anguish of losing a loved one.
Fear
Whenever a loss occurs, people affected are reminded that they, too, will die. It is no different in children, although it may be their first time realizing the permanence of death. They may fear their own death, or the death of others. If the deceased person was a parent, they may begin to fear that other caregivers will pass away too.
Sadness
Children experience deep sadness and even depression. They may not have experienced this level of pain before, making their feelings unrecognizable to them. Grief also manifests in physical
symptoms such as stomach pain, headaches and fatigue.
Confusion
Children may not understand where the deceased person has gone and why, especially if they are too young to understand the concept of death. They may also have trouble adjusting to life without the person who has passed away, especially if that person was part of their day-to-day.
Guilt
Guilt is a natural part of grief. Children may worry that something they did or said caused the death. They could also regret not spending more time with the deceased before they passed away.
Level of involvement
Older children should be allowed to choose their level of involvement with regards to attending the funeral. They may want to write a poem, say a few words, lay a rose on the coff in, scatter ashes or wear a favorite outfit. This should be allowed wherever possible, even if it is not in keeping with the ideals of the funeral service.
Viewing of the body should be a personal decision and is probably not suited to younger children. It may be best if the loved one is remembered as when they were alive. If it is decided that the
opportunities for peace.
Involve older children in decisions surrounding the death of a close friend or relative. They may want a special keepsake and should not be overlooked when belongings are being given away. Keeping to familiar routine, especially for younger children, can be helpful but care should be taken not to push children into situations until they are ready. Allow older children suff icient time to grieve and avoid returning them to school too soon.
child will view the body, they should be carefully briefed as to what to expect.
Grasping the concept of death
Caregivers should take care to avoid talking about death as if it is “like sleeping” or “going to sleep” because this can make a young child fearful of going to bed at night. They may believe that they will not wake again in the morning. Euphemisms such as this ultimately do more harm than good. It can be stressful for guardians to cope with young children at such a solemn time. If children are attending the funeral, it is important that they are made aware of the process and what is expected of them. It should also be explained that there will be many sad people inattendance. Observing grieving adults can have a profound effect: children may be reluctant to see those people again at a later stage. Itis important to explain that although people are sad now, they won’t always be unhappy.
Letting them grieve, their way
If it is decided that children should not attend the funeral, encourage them to say goodbye in their own way, perhaps by planting aspecial tree in the garden or letting go of a balloon covered with messages and drawings. For a close relationship, creating a special, private place where the child can go to remember the person who died can provide enduring
Encourage the child to talk about their feelings. Older children may find internet support groups helpful but online activity should becarefully monitored at this vulnerable time. If those closest are unable to provide support due to their own grief, the child should becomforted by a close adult friend, perhaps a favorite aunt or uncle. Wherever applicable, the school counselor may be able to provide advice and indeed, the school should be kept informed so that allowances can be made for changes in behavior and grades. Understand that the child who has recently been confronted by death may regress for a short while – perhaps wanting a childhood toy or adopting attention-seeking behavior. Help children release their anger appropriately. One approach could be to encourage hitting cushions. Another could be to have the child write a letter, or draw a picture to describe their anger. This can then be torn up or burnt.
Taking care of physical health
Physical health is often forgotten or given a lower priority. However, ensuring their physical needs are attended to will provide them with a sense of safety and comfort. Ensure they have enough time to rest. Encourage children to eat and drink well. Exercise and playcan be the perfect way to release frustration, anger and anxiety. Above all, ensure that children understand that although this time is difficult to deal with and the loss will always be with them, the grief will pass.
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Stephen Aldridge 1938-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Ron Angel 1943-2025
Ramona, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Vivian Sue Bailey 1963-2025
Bonita, CA
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Robert Behm 1943 - 2025
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Robert Scott Amon 1954-2025
San Diego, CA
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Frank “Butch” Leo Asaro, Jr. 1953-2025
San Diego, CA
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La Jolla, CA
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Chuck Howard Bane, Jr. 1952-2025
San Diego, CA
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Benita Berkson 1934-2025
Barbara Bladen 1946-2025
Carlsbad, CA
San Diego, CA
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Rita Polumbo Bleecker 1931-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
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In
Marilyn Anderson 1938-2025
San Diego, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Theresa Ann Anderson-Cole 1961-2025
San Diego, CA
David Charles Anding 1935-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Wilma Delost Ashby (Gold Star Widow) 1933-2025
San Diego, CA
William F. Barry 1935-2025
Robert Alan Ashley 1957-2025
Encinitas, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Ruby Bigelow 1922-2025
San Diego, CA
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Joan Evelyn Bowes 1930-2025
La Jolla, CA
Judy Bartolotta 1945-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Ruby “McCarroll” Birts 1928-2025
La Jolla, CA
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Gaetano Brunetto 1933-2025 Santee, CA
Poway, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Alicia Bailey 1987-2025 Bonita, CA
Jay Thomas Bates 1939-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Laura Jean Black 1956-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Gregory Bulinski 1953-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Helen Likins Bullock 1935-2025
San Diego, CA
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Alan Campbell 1942-2025
Alice Cavanaugh 1934-2025
La Jolla, CA
Betty Dabbert 1930-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Resi Ditzel 1930-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Donald Louis Cohn 1931-2025 San Diego, CA
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Rosa D’Amato 2025 San Diego, CA
Carlsbad, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Robert Egger, Jr. 1933-2025
Dolores Ann Donovan 1945-2025 La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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In
Tia Carlson 1959-2025
San Diego, CA
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Matthew (Matt) Rock Carr 1954-2024
San Diego, CA
Lee Carver 1939 - 2025
La Jolla, CA
Richard Cone 1951-2025 Rancho Santa Fe, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Shirleymae Davis 7/17/1905 La Joll, CA
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Leonard Coultas 1940-2025 Escondido, CA
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Daryle D. Diedrich 1937-2025 Willow Street, PA
John “Jack” Winfield Cunningham 1936-2025 CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Rabbi Wayne Dosick, PhD 1947-2025
Carlsbad, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Helen Draz 1929-2025
El Cajon, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sally Marie Elmore 1927-2025 San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Kathryn Lynn Warnement Encinas 1947-2025
Ramona, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Suzanne Louise “Sue” Engelskirchen 1932-2025
Rancho Bernardo, CA
Eileen Dilley 1920-2025 San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
James R. Dunn 1928-2024
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Fernando Espana, Jr. 1931-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Henrietta Espana 1934-2025
San Diego, CA
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Bob Filner 1942-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Vera Pauline Eubank 1922-2025
Oceanside, CA
Kathleen Carol Garcia-Horlor 1953 - 2025
San Diego, CA
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James Solomon Griffin 1964-2025
Escondido, CA
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Terrence R. Harris 1946-2025
San Diego, CA
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Rosemarie Ellen Evans 1938-2025
Carlsbad, CA
Gwendolyn Rae Flaming 1938-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joseph Goulart 1951-2024
Barbara Diane Fornes 1935-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Christopher R. Hager 1958-2025
San Diego, CA
Howell Henry “Hank” Harris 1961-2025
Donna Farmer 1937-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Ronald V. “Ron” Grabler 1932-2025
Seal Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Eugene Randolph Hager 1930-2025
San Diego, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Gloria Rae Forster 1934-2024
Richard Fernandes 1938-2025 Jamul, CA
Escondido, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Glenn Dixon Graeber 1933-2025
Upland, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Jacquelyn Hanson 1934-2025
Encinitas, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Jo Ann Harvey 1930-2025
San Diego, CA
La Mesa, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John Burgess Haydon 1935-2025 Valley Center, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Orlando Garbella 1959-2025 La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Eric Greene 1983-2025 North Miami, FL In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Bonnie Jean Harris 1941 - 2025
Ocean Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Dr Brigitte L Heimers Phd 1935-2025 Spring Valley, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Dr. Susan Aileen Hellweg 1946-2025
CA
Janet Hunter 1944-2025 San Diego, CA
Donald James Janiuk 1948-2025 Poway, CA
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Wayne Jones 1944 - 2025
Sharon Hemus 1932-2025 San Diego, CA
Neil Hutton 1930-2025
CA
Escondido, CA
Joyce Ann Westlake Holmes 1944-2025 San Diego, CA
George Jarvis 1932-2025 Carlsbad, CA
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Muriel “Mickey” (Friedman) Kopol 1933-2025
Encinitas, CA
Deanna E. Kakuda 1937-2025 San Diego, CA
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Joseph R. Hutton 2025
Curtis Lee Johnson 1951-2024
John C. Kroon 1939-2025 Carlsbad, CA
Bill Horning 1937-2025 Poway, CA
Dan Iverson 1937-2025
Diego, CA
Martin Ellis Kantor 1926-2025 Point Loma, CA
Rosemary “Angel” Humason 1933-2025
Rancho Bernardo, CA
Alan Edward Johnson 1952-2025 Poway, CA
Cynthia Kukuchek 1946-2025 Bonita, CA
Steven Nelson Kearley 1954-2025
Lisa Ann Jaffe 1969-2025 San Diego
1938-2025 Poway, CA
Jean von Detten Kunberger 1931-2025 Poway, CA
Dolores Ruby Knode 1927-2025
San Diego, CA
William Albert Laing 2025 San Diego, CA
Dr. Walter C. Johnson
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Laura Lynn Lange 1969-2025
San Diego, CA
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Lois LaVonne (Boelman) Lumley 1936-2025
Vista, CA
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Robert J. Lauer 1940-2025
San Diego, CA
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Dorothy Anita Magnuson 1933 - 2025
San Diego, CA
Bo Mazzetti 1947-2025 Valley Center, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Barbara Moreau 1941 - 2025
San Diego, CA
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Loreto “Butch” Nagaran, Jr 1943-2025
San Diego, CA
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Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Brett Jason Lawrence 1960-2025
San Diego, CA
Andrew Graham Lounsbury 1952-2025
Barbara Mathews 1927-2025 Poway, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John Clyde Lovett 1942-2025
Escondido, CA
Captain Harry Lewis Mathis II, USN 1933-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John Cole Mathison 1946-2025
San Diego, CA
Diane See (Calvert) McCarron 1939-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Veryl J. Mortenson 1926 - 2025
La Jolla, CA
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Rose Marie Najera 1957-2025
Sacramento, CA
John “Hoot” McDonald 1942-2024
El Cajon, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Linda H Moyer 1947-2025
San Diego, CA
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Stuart Nelson 1930-2025
Ramona, CA
Elizabeth Ehlert McManus 1946-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Albert Marvin Munzenmaier 1942-2025
El Cajon, CA
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Naomi Julia Nicholas 1932-2025
San Diego, CA
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Michael Wayne Montroy 1963-2025 Poway, CA
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Susan Myerson 1942-2025
La Jolla, CA
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Irene Nooney 1935-2025
El Cajon, CA
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David Michael Nugent 1943-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
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John Richard Pangborn 1940-2025
El Cajon, CA
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Teresa Mae “Terri” Poulos 1951-2025
San Diego, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Anne Nugent 1943-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
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Ralph Thomas Parry 1944-2024
San Diego, CA
Phillip Eugene Galagina Powers 1941-2025 In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Jane Elizabeth Rappoport 1931-2025
San Diego, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Matthew Glen Rice 1970-2025
Carlo Romano 1925-2025
Fallbrook, CA
Carlsbad, CA
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Vonnie Argen Ruple Jr. 1931-2025
Poway, CA
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Frances Onstott 1918-2025
Oceanside, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joshua Kenith Shane Patz 1976-2025
San Diego, CA
Shirley Pozzato 1934-2025
Maureen O’Reilly 1954-2025 Tucson, AZ In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Keith Eric Perkins 1959-2025
Wayne John Osborne 1943-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Putnam, CT In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Mary Ann Richter 1933-2025
San Diego, CA
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Lynn Ellen Saivar 1945-2025
San Diego, CA
The Honorable Joel M. Pressman 1946-2025 Del Mar, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Noreene Rodriguez 1935-2025
San Diego, CA
Erin Kathleen Salel 1969-2025
Escondido, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Richard Pierantozzi 1943-2025
Chula Vista, CA
William Edward Prevatte 1937-2025 Spring Valley, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Rosemarie Rohatgi 1971-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
Del Mar, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Mary Luisa Salmon 1929-2025
San Diego, CA
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Brian Mannix Scanlon 1953-2025
Wilmington, NC
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Susan Shean 1947-2025
San Diego, CA
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Deborah Lynn Simpson 1960-2025
San Diego, CA
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Suellen “Sue” Solomon 1940-2025
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James L. Schaller 1942-2025
Coronado, CA
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Edward Sheldon 1931-2025
Fairfield, CA
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Rancho Bernardo, CA
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Gretchen Simpson 1948-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
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Dr. Irving Alan Sparks 1933-2025
Terri Ann Fay Strait 1950-2025
San Diego, CA
San Diego, CA
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Maryanne Catherine Strong 2023-2025
San Diego, CA
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Robert Leo Schlotter 1940-2025
San Diego, CA
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Richard L Shick, Sr. 1931-2025
San Diego, CA
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Douglas J. Slavens 1962-2025
San Diego, CA
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Janice Stewart 1936-2024
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Debora Lynn Marquiss Schmidt 1959 - 2025 Poway, CA
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Anna Dale Lyon Silliman 1936-2025
San Diego, CA
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Virginia Rae Smith 1934-2025
Carlsbad, CA
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Lloyd Stump 1928-2025
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Barbara Lee Schroeder 1930-2025
Fletcher Hills, CA
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Lewis Silverberg 1934-2025
San Diego, CA
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Nancy Stewart 1938-2025
Chula Vista, CA
Portland, Oregon
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Marian Olga (Chleboski) Suggs 1937-2025
San Diego, CA
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Ernest W. “Bill” Smith 1931-2025
Escondido, CA
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Kenneth H. Stimeling, Jr. 1939-2025
Fallbrook, CA
San Diego, CA
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Dorothy “Dottie” Sweeney 1931-2025
San Diego, CA
Leonard E. Teyssier 1927-2025
La Jolla, CA
Pamela Uyehara 1957-2024
San Diego, CA
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Elaine Valadez 1927-2025
San Diego, CA
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Mike “Mig” Van Horn 1955-2023
San Diego, CA
Rene Eugene Vergara 1955-2025
San Diego, CA
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James Roger “Jack” Vickery 1934-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Evelyn Margaret Walters 1921-2025
San Diego, CA
Ray C. White 1949-2025
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Ruth Eleanor Weiss 1939-2025
San Diego
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Carl Joseph Wellenstein 1941-2025
Carlsbad, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Connie Wick 1962-2025
San Diego, CA
May the constant love of caring friends soften your sadness. May cherished memories bring you moments of comfort. May lasting peace surround your grieving heart.
John Benjamin Wilhoit 1951-2025
San Diego, CA
Harvey W. Williams 1946-2025
Mary Williams 1943-2025
San Diego, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Ernest Bayles Jr. 1942-2025
San Diego, CA
Michael Anaya 1966-2025
San Diego, CA
Henry Johnson II 1928-2025
National City. CA
Richard John McKinley Wheaton 1950-2025 Poway, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John Henry Williams 2025
Warner Springs, CA
Rodney Anderson 1959-2025
Encinitas, CA
Frances Morse 1934-2025
La Jolla CA
Jane Poggi Farr 1944-2025
La Jolla, CA
Janet Spitler 1948-2025
San Diego, CA
Merrilyn Towne 1928-2025
San Diego, CA
Holly Wilkenfeld 1939-2025
Encinitas, CA
Steps to take when filing a will
As with being born and having to pay taxes, we all face the prospect of our own death. If you plan on living to a ripe old age, it’s important to make things easier on those you leave behind by preparing a proper last will and testament.
Benefits of creating a last will and testament
When you file a will, your final wishes are laid out in black and white, leaving no ambiguity about how you want your assets divided. By creating a will that is watertight, you can make your death less stressful for your survivors. You should also have peace of mind knowing your survivors will be taken care of when you are gone.
Although it’s unsettling to think of your own death and the world without you in it, consider how you’d like your assets to be distributed once you are gone. Typically people contemplate how they’d like to leave their children, spouse, favorite charities and other loved onesin the event of their death.
When is a good time to start planning your final wishes?
Consider preparing a last will and testament once you’ve acquired assets or dependents. If you work full time, have a spouse orchildren, own a home, or have savings, it’s the right time to start planning.
Preparing the will
Don’t know how to get started? Follow these steps to begin planning your final wishes.
Linda Lowe 1937-2025
Denver, CO
1. Account for all of your assets and debts
Create a comprehensive list of everything you own or are entitled to. This includes, but is not limited to:
• Real estate holdings
• Life insurance policies
• Vehicles
• Cars
• Boats
• Recreational vehicles
• Financial investments
• Owned businesses
• 401(k)
• RRSPs
• Home equity
• Stocks
• Bonds
• Pensions
• Other retirement savings and portfolios
• Debts and liabilities
2. Assign a trustee
A trustee, or executor, is the person who you assign to carry out the instructions held in your last will and testament. Their duties can include the distribution of assets, funeral planning,
death announcement, services, cremation or care of your final remains, and distribution of your assets as set out in your will.
Ensure that the person you select to administer your estate is okay with being appointed as such before assigning them. The job of anexecutor or trustee is complex and stressful, usually taking months or years to conclude. Make sure they are up to the task.
3. List all beneficiaries
Construct a list of relatives, friends and charities that you would like to remember in your will. This can include your spouse, children, siblings, parents and in-laws, charities you support, and any other people or organizations that you want to leave some of your accumulated wealth to. Write down the exact assets or percentage of the total estate that each person or organization will receive.
4. Final wishes for your bodily remains
Perhaps you want to be interred in a tomb, with a simple grave, or extravagant headstone. Or maybe you want your body to be cremated and your ashes scattered over your favorite lake, ski hill, ocean vista or other special place. Your wishes are yours alone, andcan be as personal as you like. Whatever they may be, ensure your requests are clearly identified in your will.
5. Make it legal
Contact a lawyer that specializes in estate law. They know the current
rules and regulations regarding wills, how they may affect your wishes, and the best ways to take care of those left behind. It’s better to be safe than sorry. There is no substitute for a legal will. Writing a letter or informal statement about how you’d like your assets divided might be a nice gesture to your survivors, but does not take the place of a will. Don’t risk your financial legacy being mismanaged. Don’t jeopardize the understanding of your final wishes. You can purchase a kit to create a will yourself. This will be less expensive than using a lawyer, but may not be as binding and watertightas you might like. If your will has complex instructions, it’s best to consult a lawyer.
Maintaining your wishes
Divorces, new marriages, new children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, favorite charities or new circumstances may raise the need to change your will, to either include new entries to your will, or have some taken out of it. After having your last will and testament written up, signed and witnessed, you will have to make changes to it as your life unfolds.
Make it a habit to revisit your final wishes when life changes occur, or every few years. That way, you can rest assured loved ones will be taken care of when you are gone.
