Part Two: Nighttime
Edgelands, the space between urban and rural
I now am approaching the edgelands, the space between the urban and rural A space that is often passed through but not looked at. It is now completely dark. Aslightbreezeiscaressingmyface.Mysensesheighten, mypupilsenlarge,Ifeelwidewake Mysensesnowformaunity Thewholenessofmybody
In the night, I become an animal Thoughts revoke, they fade in this moment; I am fully present I tap into a primal consciousness, beyond culturalconditioning.Asmysightisimpaired,Ibecomeawareofthesoundscape around me, a rustling in the bushes and trees surrounding me This place is full of life I feel watched This ancient urge to look back over my shoulder, as if something were about to attack me, overcomes me Not just the environment changes with times of day, my whole perception changes too. Gazing upon a tree inthisdark night, I feel it morphing into a gesture The tree is speaking to me withhisform Animismbecomesevidentto meespeciallyatnight Iamnotatallaloneinthisforest
WhydoIfeelmostalive, Inthedarkness, Intheobscure, Intheunknowable?
AsDavidAbramwrites:“Wefeelourselvesexposed,watched,observedfromallsides. (…)Thesurroundings areaware,sensate,personified Theyfeel Theycanbeoffended Andtheymust,ateverymoment,betreated withtheproperrespect”1 Itisatnightthatthesewordscomealiveforme
1 Abram, D. (1996) p. 49
Thenight
Walking on the pitch black pathway, I hear somethingapproachingfromthewoods Istop Whoorwhatwould be out in this cold and dark night? This creature has clearly recognized me and is slowly moving into my direction I merely hear the steps, until I distinguish a dark shape In front of me, I see atinyman Irecognize him TheghostofDersuUzala Hegreetsmewithawarmsmile
DersuwasasiberianhunterfromtheGoldipeoplesthathassomehowfoundhiswayintotheoutskirtsofTotnes He is accompanied by all his belongings, a backpack, a walking stick and his rifle, which is the basis for his survival He lived alone in the forest, as his family has died of smallpox caused by the encroachment of Cossacks HeshowedaroundtheRussianexplorerVladimirArsenyevduringhisexpeditionsintoSiberia,which hasbeendocumentedina1923memoirnamed Dersu the Trapper
Me:“Whatasurprisetoseeyou,Dersu.Wouldyouliketojoinmeforanighttimewander?”
“Goodevening Yes,menewtothisland”
DersuUzala
Wewalkmostlyinsilence Ithink,thatissomethingwehaveincommon;weenjoythesilence
Me:“Whatbroughtyouhere?”
DersuUzala:“Mehunt,allIdoishunt.Itryhuntadeerinthehill,theysaymenotallowtoshoothere.”
Me: “You went to the deer park Strangely, we humans seem to think that we have the right to own these fellows.Infact,youwillhavedifficultyfindingwilddeerintheselands.”
DersuUzala:“Weirdpeople,plentydeerbutnotallowedtohunt Howmefindfoodhere?” Helooksatmewithagrinonhisface.
Me: “Well,Dersu Survivallooksquitedifferenttowhatyouareusedtobackhome Mostpeoplehereareinside anofficeformanyhoursperday,workingonacomputer.That’showwesurvivehere.”
DersuUzala:“Mepreferbeoutside”
Ismile “Metoo Andwhereareyoustaying?”
Dersu Uzala: “My home nowhere Small hut in mountains of Siberia where I can sleep That my home Here makegoodtent,sleepthere”2
Me: “You are voluntarily staying out, in the cold, the whole year round, it is quite impressing We westerners like to think of ourselves as autonomous individuals; yet wouldnotsurviveonenightoutinthesecoldnights.I feel quite agitated, slightly anxious, being in the forest alone at night, let alone sleeping here There must be something magical about sleeping in the wild Most people sleeping outside here dosoinvoluntarily,so-called homelesspeople.Theoneswhocanliveinapartments.”
DersuUzala:“Menotunderstandwhypeopleliveinboxes”3
Me: “Yes, these boxes can get quite lonely sometimes While humanshaveneverbeenasnumerous,agrowing number of us feels alienated We feel alone, even though we constantly are surrounded by people You Dersu arealone,butarealways interactingwithallkindsofpeople,mostofthemwhicharenothuman.”
Dersu Uzala:“MehavelivedplentysummersandwintersoutsideinSiberia Alwaysfindotherfellows Hereno biganimals inthishumanland.Deadland.”
Dersu sees this as dead land A feelingofgriefhitsme Whatweconsideras nature inEuropeisfarfrombeing avirginlandscape.OurlandscapesaretoDersu,whatchihuahuasaretowolves.
Nature, Youarebeautifulyetdeeplysick, IdonotrecognizeitbecauseIhaveonlyknownyoulikethat, Youmusthavebeenfulloflife, Butyouarenotdeadyet “Wehaveindeedgottenridofalmostthewholemegafaunainhere”
DersuUzala:“Notscaredsleepinghere NoAmba4 here OnlythingmakemescaredKonganga”
His voice got shaky when he said that word. A sudden gust of windblowsoverourheads.SuddenlyIsee,that this man also fears the forces of the natural world I came to find out that Konganga is the spirit of the forest worshipedbytheGoldipeoples HetellsmethatbackinSiberia,hewasforcedtoshootatAmba,andthatbeing asacredanimal,heisconstantlyonthelookoutforbeingpunished
Me: “What youcallKongangamusthavevanishedfromherelongago,atleastsincetheindustrialrevolution.If there ever was a spirit totheselandshere,hemustlongbedead Wehaveexpelledthespiritsandreplacedthem withtractors”
With every sentence, it becomesclearertomehowdifferenthiswayofbeingmustbetomyown Aslittleashe can understand our way of life, aslittlewillIbeabletotrulyunderstandhis WhatIfeelthoughisthatthisman has traits that are seldom today, traits that are deeply human. Kindness. Sincerity. Contentment. Calmness. Serenity
Naivety? How can I relate to the way of lifeofDersu?Tonotromanticizehimasa noble savage likeRousseau orbelittlehislifeas brutish, nasty and short asHobbes?
The silence ofthenightisgettinginterruptedbyatunecomingfromfaraway,echoingthroughthelandscape A flash of light is approaching from afar, coming closer.Illuminatingitsimmediatesurroundings,along,metallic train zips past us through the night Immersedinthismagicalforest,Iinstantlygetpulledoutofthespherebya loudandbrightmachine;Igetconfrontedwithcivilization Weareapproachingtheurban
We stop and admire thiswonderoftechnology Thetrainservesasarepresentationforourperceptionoftimein the modern world Fast,linearandstrippedawayfromplace ComparingthistothenotionoftimeofDersu,this manhasnoclock,histimemustbeconnectedtonightandday,totheseasons.
Me: “It gives me agreatamountofpeaceseeingthistraingothroughthenighthere Itisbeautifultome Atthe same time I imaginehowdistractingthistechnologyistothesurroundinginhabitants.Thereissomethingbrutal toit”
DersuUzala:“Trainmakemenotseeinnight,andmakeallotherfellowsscared Ipreferwalk”
The novella Bahnwärter Thiel comes to mind, empathizing the train as a symbol for the rapid disruption of ordinary life due to industrialization, ultimately leading to Thiel’s son being overrun by a train Thiel then succumbstomadness ItellDersuaboutthisstory
After the train subsides, I am still blinded by the light, my perception is stillcoloredbythisencounter.Evenif thetrainsonlyaccompaniedusforsomeminutes,itleavesanimprint
Wekeeponexploringthelandsinsilence
I notice Dersu paying attention to something And then I hear it too, myuntrainedearnothavingrecognizedit before Thewatcherofthenightmakesitselfknowntous Stayinginthedarkness,revealingonlyitscalltous
“HooHoo”
Dersustops,putshishandsonmyshoulder,makingmelisten
DersuUzala:“Melistentowhatfellowissaying”
“HooHoo“
Dersustaresintothenightattentively,curious,asifhewerelisteningtoanimportantannouncement
DersuUzala:“Fellowgreetsus”
Me:“Letmegreethimback.”
Owl, Youmagicalcreature,predatorofthenight, Loudwithyourcalls,hallingthroughthenight, Butsilentwings,thatmakeyouadeadlyhunter, WhenIstarttodream,youstarttobecomeawake, Alwaysoutofsight,yetIamneveroutofyours
“HooHoo”
“HooHoo”
Being with Dersu here, I am no longer walking through the forest I become part oftheforest,embeddedinit One of many persons in it. Above our heads, I am struck by the beauty of the starslookingdownontous,and thesatellitesthataccompanythem
Satellites(andStars)
When the lights are getting brighter, the noises louder and the surroundings greyer,Dersudisappearsbackinto the darkness of the forest He doesn’t belong here, to the urban He told me about hisexperienceoflivingina towninSiberia,andhowrestrictedhefelt
Civilization
On my own again, I am gradually arriving to the train station The train has ended here, and so will I end my journeyherewithareflection
In the liminal space between the artificial and thenatural,thehumanandthemore-than-humanandthemodern and the traditional, I contemplate ourpathasawholecivilization.Onthehorizon,inthisspacebetweenworlds, pathwaysofinfinitegrowtharecollidingwithhumanextinctionandcivilizationalcollapse
An assumption that ecology deconstructs isthatweareindependentindividualsthatareactingfreely,thatarein control. Our behavior too is just the result of natural evolution. We are part of ecology, entangled in relationships with more-than-humans andtechnology Thatalsomeanscomingtotermswiththeillusoryagency we ourselves believe to have No one is in the driving seat Paraphrasing Bayo Akomolafe, we are not at all individuals tryingtochangetheworld.That’samodernmyth.5 Myecosophyisnotfinished,ithasjuststarted.It isnotcohesive;itisnotagrandtheoryofeverything Thewholeexpressesitselfthroughtheparts
Iknowthereissomethingbeyondthisworld, Iwannastaywiththedirt,theearthly, Notrejectit, Infavorofsomethingdeeper, Iknow,nomatterwhatwillhappen, Therewillalwaysbeavastdimension, OfsomethingIcannotyetunderstand, ThatIwillgobackto,forever, Somethingofultimateconcern
The death ofDersu,dyinginhischosenhome,theforest,afterherejectedalifeinthetown,remindedmeofmy grandfather that has recently passed away. Despite getting older and weaker, both preferred keeping their sovereignty than living a perhaps more comfortable, but less free life Such as Dersufoundlifeintowndeeply confining, so did my grandfather reject the elderly care home, and decided to live in his apartment on the 5th floor,towhichheclimbedupanddownforhisdailywalk.Bothpassedawayinthehometheychose.
RestinPeaceOpapa
EinTraum
EinTraum,einTraumistunserLeben AufErdenhier. Undschwindenwir, UndmessenunsreträgenTritte NachRaumundZeit: Undsind(undwissen’snicht)inMitte DerEwigkeit
JohannGottfriedvonHerder
