Shaping resilient young women continued — “… a strong sense of who they are, untrammelled by expectations around a role that may be secondary to boys who can be quite dominant in co-ed settings.” “Knowing who you are is key to strength and resilience. Our girls learn to be comfortable in their own skin; they have the chance to be who they really are in a supportive and energetic environment where everyone has a place.” “At St Cuthbert’s, we put the girls in situations where they have to make decisions both individually and collaboratively. This is often in the classroom where they work either individually or in groups. When they work individually, they have to learn to be brave in making decisions alone and carrying through with what they have decided. When they work collaboratively on a project, they learn to discuss what to do and how to do it and develop problem-solving strategies together,” says Fiona. One well-known example of teamwork and collaborative problem-solving in action that is a rite-of-passage for all Year 10 students is Kahunui, a month-long residential experience designed to teach girls about confidently facing life’s challenges. At Kahunui, the girls are divided into groups of eight and live in and manage their own house, supported by house tutors. This means cleaning, laundry, menu planning, budgeting and cooking. Living together builds an awareness of the need to be considerate and respectful of everyone, which means that they learn to rely on one another, complement one anothers strengths, and develop new world-views. Jill says that the Kahunui experience is incredibly beneficial for young women. She points to several studies which indicate that young women who participate in outdoor
education programmes experience an improved sense of self, as well as better problem-solving, goal setting, communication, teamwork, leadership, and perseverance skills. Another example of a resilience-building opportunity that is offered to the girls throughout their time at St Cuthbert’s is the Mindfulness programme, which is an evidenced-based practice designed to enrich self-care, personal resilience, and optimal brain function. “As the adolescent brain is under “construction” with synapse pruning and constant growth, mindfulness assists with emotional regulation and the ability to selfsoothe. These skills will enable a calmer emotional state which helps with reducing the effects of anxiety and stress,” says Jill. Beyond the school gates: building resilience outside of the classroom One major factor in building resilience, according to Jill, is to encourage young people to develop strong social networks with their peers. While there is some academic debate as to whether resilience inherently comes from within or is developed with the support of others, some studies suggest that resilience comes from a person’s ability to connect with others. “Relationships are at the heart of growth and resilience. Many studies have shown that the primary factor in resilience is having caring supportive relationships. Strong supportive networks provide emotional support, trust, reliable alliance, social integration and reassurance of worth. Strong relationships embrace the essential components of mutual understanding, kindness and compassion” says Jill. Fiona agrees, pointing to the school’s extensive range of co-curricular activities as a way in which the school actively fosters friendships. “The girls have to talk to each
Interested in learning more about resilience? If you are interested in reading more about the academic research regarding developing resilience, here are a few articles to start with. – Seligman M.E.P. (2012). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Simon & Schuster. – Seligman, M. E. P (2007). The Optimistic Child. A Proven Program to Safeguard Children Against Depression and Build Lifelong Resilience. Tantor Audio – St Hilda’s College (2017). Principal’s Study Sabbatical Report: Research Girls’ Wellbeing and Programmes that Build Resilience and Enhance Wellbeing for Young Women. School research paper. – Vann A. (2017). Perfectionism in Girls. Alliance of Girls Schools Australasia.
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other to organise themselves and, in doing so, naturally make friends and develop social groups based on a common interest.” Jill says the role that positive relationships and close friendships play in young people’s lives cannot be underestimated. “These relationships can represent a meaningful aspect of young people’s social support systems and have the potential to nurture healthy development and achievement. Young people’s close friendships can serve as the primary means by which they share and validate each other’s struggles, develop new identities and affirm new roles.” Ultimately though, the best role models for resilient behaviour are the adults in each girl’s life. Although parents may occasionally feel as though the advice they are imparting is not being taken on board, the opinions and actions of the adults in the lives of our students hold great weight and have the ability to change a young person’s outlook. “Young people truly feel the weight of expectations and cannot bear to let people down. Having opportunities to ‘fail’ and build problem-solving skills, and knowing that they come from a family who loves them and will help them work through adversity is paramount,” says Fiona.
What are some of the ways that adults can model resilience for their daughter? Here are some ways in which parents can help their daughter become well-rounded, resilient young women. • Praise effort and perseverance • Share your mistakes and encourage looking at failure as a learning opportunity • Encourage your daughter to adopt flexible thinking patterns: When every challenge is met with enthusiasm and creative thinking, she will see herself as capable and proficient • Help your daughter set small, realistic short-term goals • Let her know you appreciate and care about her and that you believe in her and her potential. • Model being able to adjust as situations change: Realising that challenges are part of everyday life will lead to a willingness to give things a go • Articulate that it’s OK to ask for help in difficult times