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SANTA BARBARA NEWS-PRESS
NEWS
How to stay in emotional balance
T
he first thing to understand about emotional balance is that to keep it, you have to be constantly moving, but it’s inner movement, not break dancing. If you seek peace of mind, please know that it requires continual practice, but once you learn the basics, the practice becomes a valued part of your lifestyle. Isn’t it interesting how you can wake up in the morning and just by opening your phone, your entire world can be thrown off-balance? It doesn’t matter if the news is personal, political or pandemicrelated. It’s a little tricky to stay in a good place when the world is throwing all this stuff at us. The best time to practice rebalancing is when you first feel yourself getting off-kilter, but that’s often a very difficult moment, and so you’ll be better off if you have prepared yourself by engaging in emotional-balancing techniques before one of those big curve balls gets thrown at you. Visualization and meditation are two great tools to start with, and they can not only help you
rebalance but also move your life forward and even add years to it. The best way to begin is to just listen to some meditative music for thirty minutes. You don’t have to think about anything, but allow yourself to relax and see what comes to you. When I’m up and active, I listen to Ed Sheeran or the Eagles, and when I need to relax, it’s Mozart or “Music for Zen Meditation.” There is a lot of power in music, and it really is an easy tool to help you get to where you want to be. The wrong music can also throw you out of balance, so if something that’s playing is grating on your nerves, turn it off or leave the room. No need for you to suffer, and avoiding harsh noise is something we forget we can do. Another overlooked rebalancing technique is to journal your thoughts. This accomplishes a lot. First you can release your overwhelming thoughts by putting them on paper. Second, it actually creates more room in your mind for positive thoughts to enter. That alone is a wonderful tool
to help you stay on the path, and I know many people who journal daily, just because it helps them keep their balance. A third tool is to actively engage in doing something either that you love or that you don’t even like but needs to be done. Yes, these are two different paths, but they lead to the same destination. The goal is to focus all of your energy on creating something new and perhaps changing your current state of mind. It’s not about escaping from your troubles. The idea is to develop a healthy lifestyle and to have some techniques that you can use for yourself when your therapist is out of town. We all go through emotional upsets. The trick is learning to keep them in perspective, get a handle on them and then use what you have taught yourself to chase them away. Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., LMFT, is an award-winning therapist and writer. He is a columnist, blogger and the author of seven books, including the newly released “Visualization For Success: 75 Psychological Empowerment Exercises To Get You What You Want In Life.” Reach him at barton@ bartongoldsmith.com.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2021
Santa Barbara Symphony to honor medical community
RAFAEL MALDONADO/NEWS-PRESS
Nir Kabaretti conducts the Santa Barbara Symphony during a rehearsal at The Granada. The symphony last week recorded a “Santa Barbara Celebration,” a concert dedicated to the medical community, which will stream at 7 p.m. Saturday and 3 p.m. Sunday and feature physicians who are also musicians. See Thursday’s News-Press for interviews with Nir Kabaretti and Dr. Toni Meyers, an ophthalmologist who is performing a piano solo during Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 21.
NEW YORK TIMES Bestsellers List By THE NEW YORK TIMES COMPANY These are the hardcover bestsellers for the week ending Feb. 6, as listed by The New York Times.
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11. “ANXIOUS PEOPLE” by Fredrik Backman (Atria). A failed bank robber holds a group of strangers hostage at an apartment open house.
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12. “A TIME FOR MERCY” by John Grisham. (Doubleday). This is the third book in the Jake Brigance series. A 16year-old is accused of killing a deputy in Clanton, Miss., in 1990.
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1. “THE FOUR WINDS” by Kristin Hannah. (St. Martin’s). As dust storms roll during the Great Depression, Elsa must choose between saving the family and farm or heading West. 2. “THE SURVIVORS” by Jane Harper (Flatiron). Kieran Elliott takes his young family to his coastal hometown, where a body is found on the beach. 3. “THE VANISHING HALF” by Brit Bennett (Riverhead). The lives of twin sisters who run away from a Southern black community at age 16 diverge as one returns and the other takes on a different racial identity. But their fates intertwine. 4. “THE RUSSIAN” by James Patterson and James O. Born (Little, Brown). This is the 13th book in the Michael Bennett series. An assassin killing a number of women might disrupt the detective’s wedding plans.
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9. “WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING” by Delia Owens (Putnam). In a quiet town on the North Carolina coast in 1969, a young woman who survived alone in the marsh becomes a murder suspect. 10. “GIRL A” by Abigail Dean (Viking). When their mother dies in prison, Lex Gracie and her siblings confront their shared past and shifting alliances.
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13. “SERPENTINE” by Jonathan Kellerman (Ballantine). This is the 36th book in the Alex Delaware series. Sturgis calls on Delaware to help solve a decades-old cold case. 14. “READY PLAYER TWO” by Ernest Cline (Ballantine). In a sequel to “Ready Player One,” Wade Watts discovers a technological advancement and goes on a new quest. 15. “THE RETURN” by Nicholas Sparks (Grand Central). A doctor serving in the Navy in Afghanistan goes back to North Carolina where two women change his life.
NONFICTION 1. “FOUR HUNDRED SOULS,” edited by Ibram X. Kendi and Keisha N. Blain (One World).
5. “THE SANATORIUM” by Sarah Pearse (Pamela Dorman). Elin Warner must find her estranged brother’s fiancée, who goes missing as a storm approaches a hotel that was once a sanatorium in the Swiss Alps.
8. “SEND FOR ME” by Lauren Fox (Knopf). A woman in Wisconsin discovers a trove of her grandmother’s letters that detail her experiences in
4. “A PROMISED LAND” by Barack Obama (Crown). In the first volume of his presidential memoirs, Barack Obama offers personal reflections on his formative years and pivotal moments through his first term. 5. “UNMASKED” by Andy Ngo (Center Street). A former writer for the online magazine Quillette gives his perspective on the activist movement antifa. 6. “GREENLIGHTS” by Matthew McConaughey (Crown). The Oscar-winning actor shares snippets from the diaries he kept over the last 35 years. 7. “CASTE” by Isabel Wilkerson (Random House). The Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist examines aspects of caste systems across civilizations and reveals a rigid hierarchy in America today. 8. “UNTAMED” by Glennon Doyle (Dial). The activist and public speaker describes her journey of listening to her inner voice. 9. “BECOMING” by Michelle Obama (Crown). The former first lady describes how she balanced work, family and her husband’s political ascent. 10. “HOW TO BE AN ANTIRACIST” by Ibram X. Kendi (One World). A primer for creating a more just and equitable society through identifying and opposing racism. 11. “WHEN HARRY MET MINNIE” by Martha Teichner (Celadon). The “CBS Sunday Morning” correspondent develops a bond with the ailing owner of a dog she agrees to adopt. 12. “MIKE NICHOLS” by Mark Harris. (Penguin Press) This is the biography of the award-winning theater and film director who was also half of the seminal improv duo with Elaine May.
6. “THE MIDNIGHT LIBRARY” by Matt Haig (Viking). Nora Seed finds a library beyond the edge of the universe that contains books with multiple possibilities of the lives one could have lived. 7. “THE INVISIBLE LIFE OF ADDIE LARUE” by V.E. Schwab (Tor/Forge). A Faustian bargain comes with a curse that affects the adventure Addie LaRue has across centuries.
(HarperCollins). The late iconic actress describes how she worked to change perceptions of black women through her career choices.
13. “LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I MEAN” by Joan Didion (Knopf). This collection of 12 pieces, written between 1968 and 2000, includes observations on the underground press and the act of writing. This compendium features 90 writers covering 400 years of black Americans’ history. 2. “THINK AGAIN” by Adam Grant (Viking). An examination of the cognitive skills of rethinking and unlearning that could be used to adapt to a rapidly changing world. 3. “JUST AS I AM,” by Cicely Tyson with Michelle Burford
14. “A SWIM IN A POND IN THE RAIN” by George Saunders (Random House). A collection of essays examines the functions and importance of works of fiction. 15. “LIKE STREAMS TO THE OCEAN,” by Jedidiah Jenkins (Convergent). The author of “To Shake the Sleeping Self” explores eight subjects that he believes give life meaning.
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