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the country, I don’t think I can ever get used to One of my blessMinnesotans and northern ings is my ability to Wisconsinites calling tatertravel around this great tot casserole, tater-tot country; meet people in hotdish. It’s casserole (to far-away regions, and me anyway). communicate despite our language difference. Even A big terminology differthough we may both be ence I noticed involves speaking English, the dif- carbonated beverages. In ferent dialects are most the mid-west, we call such interesting. a drink pop. Other parts of country call it soda or More Rottener People often tell me Min- the cola. In the south, it’s all June and I were on our nesota people talk funny, coke. way to Massachusetts meaning they have an when I received a text accent. Not so. Like evYears ago, at a café down from my daughter Annie, eryone else, we spell our south, I ordered a cheese“How is your Wednesstate with only one o; pro- burger, fries, and a Coke. day?” nounced, Minnesoota, as I thought the waitress was if it had two long o’s. The poking fun at me when I replied, “Good. On my same is true with the word she asked, “What kind of way to Masschusettes, ‘hoome’ and others. coke do you want.” I asked which most people can’t what kinds of coke they even spell, let alone point When we first moved offered? “We have Cocaout on a map. Lol.” I was here, I would ask where Cola, Pepsi coke, orange laughing about my text, something, or someplace coke, strawberry coke, or then re-read what I’d writ- was. They might answer, lemon-lime coke (7-Up). ten. “Oh no!” I gasped, “A boot ten miles from We also have diet coke then quickly sent Annie here.” It took me a while (TAB in the pink can; diet another text, “Guess I to understand that people Coca-Cola didn’t come out should spell check mywere not referring to winter until the early eighties), self before mouthing off. footwear when saying a and root beer.” When I told Bahahaha.” (I had to write boot. (Spelled, a-b-o-u-t) her I just wanted a regular ‘Bahahaha, as my flip coke, she asked, “What phone doesn’t send emojis In other states around flavor.” or, obviously spell check.) the country, I hear people pronouncing words difI also enjoy the way Annie is a school teacher; ferently, and sometimes people will spell and use surely, she would catch they phrase a sentence a word the same but the typo. So, to prove I differently than we did pronounce it differently. knew how to spell the when living in Iowa. We’ve For example, this mornstate correctly, I fired off lived in Minnesota for ing in the mail, I received another text, “Massachuseven years now, and I’ve a gift of handmade pecan setts. M-A-S-S-A-C-Hstill not adjusted to some pralines from a friend in U-S-E-T-T-S. Massachuterminology. For example, Texas. I know of at least setts. Would you like me if a person drives a semi, two ways to say the word to use it in a sentence?” I’d call them a truck driver; pecan and four ways to one who drives children to pronounce pralines; one Annie wrote back, “Haha- school is a bus driver. But, must say it correctly achahaha, yeah, you’d in Minnesota, people will cording to the region better be careful about say, “She drives bus, or he you’re in, lest ye be layour spelling.” (She had drives truck.” And it could beled a tourist. to spell out, ‘Hahahahaha’ be me; a couple of months because my flip phone ago, I heard someone Regional terms are also doesn’t get emojis either.) use these same terms in fun; in some areas, ‘you Although we were hunOklahoma. guys’ refers to a group of dreds of miles apart, I Although I truly enjoy the people regardless of genknew we were sharing a different dialects around der. If I understand south-
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good laugh about that.
ern English correctly, y’all can mean one person, or two people. But when addressing a group, a southerner will say, all y’alls. Last week in Massachusetts, I overheard a conversation among a group of men having coffee in a restaurant. The man who caught my attention had an accent; I would guess he was from New Jersey.
talking about an odometer. “That’s what I said. The crook tampas with adomaduhs.” I started laughing, but I was the only one, so I awkwardly exited stage left and out to my car. Driving the rest of the day, I kept singing, “Mahna Mahna. Do doo be-do-do. Mahna Mahna. Do do-do do.
Although I could not get that song out of my head He kept referring to an for the life of me, I do adomaduh. It made no love the various accents, sense to me, so I listened dialects, and terminology more keenly. I swear it used around America. But, sounded like he was trying let’s be honest, if we all to say “Mah-na Mah-na.” spoke proper English as it was initially written, life Do you remember the would be far less exciting. Sesame Street Character Mahna Mahna? He was After the road trip to Masa purple Muppet with the sachusetts, it was good to wild orange hair that wore be back home where eva fuzzy green tunic and eryone speaks a language yellow sunglasses. The I understand. I brought a only words he ever said load from the car into the were his name. He sang house while June ran out a song with the two pink into the yard. Snowths with long eyelashes, horns, and yellow Our black cat Edgar Allan, lips? I thought the guy was standing on the back of saying his name, Mahna the couch next to the front Mahna. door, gave me a head butt and greeted me. “Did you As the man in the cafe bring that rotten dog home continued talking, I figured with you,” he asked? Now, out he was talking about Melissa and I will somea crooked car dealer. “It’s times refer to them as just wrong when someone “that rotten dog” or “that tampas with an adomadrotten cat.” But only in a uh.” loving manner when one When I got up to leave, I stopped at the man’s (Just the Other Day cont’d on table and asked if he was pg. 4)
JANUARY 12, 2022
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SAVE OTTUMWA POST (Just the Other Day con’t from pg 2) of them has done something naughty or mischievous. I set down the bags that I was carrying. “Edgar, you are not allowed to call June a rotten dog. That term is reserved for people use only. Besides, June is not a rotten dog; you, on the other hand, can certainly be a rotten cat,” I said as I gave him a scratch behind the ears. I had a good laugh about that, but I was the only one laughing. Edgar defended himself, “Yeah, but June is more rottener than me.” “Edgar, your grammar is atrocious in so many ways, in any region…and you call yourself Edgar Allan.” I shook my head, laughing, but I was the only one laughing, so I went outside. So, there I was, correcting the grammar used by a cat; me – the same guy who misspelled ‘Massachusettes’ while poking fun at people who can’t spell Massachusetts.
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JANUARY 12, 2022
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Cold Pointer When winter set in last week, I think it took everyone by surprise. It is not as though we were not expecting winter, but we did not think it would go overnight from balmy fiftydegree days to twenty-five below zero windchills. I think perhaps, even the wildlife were caught off guard. Saturday, as the temperatures dropped steadily, the dog’s trips outside became shorter and shorter. I could tell what the temperature was by how close to the back door we had yellow snow. Billie, the poodle, makes his last call about 9:00 PM. I was expecting him to want back in in less than a minute. I was in the living room, near the door, reading, and almost forgot about him. When I realized he had been out in the cold for more than ten minutes, I opened the door to check on him. He was on the porch, on point at something near one of the porch chairs. From the outside light near the door, all I could tell was there was something huddled against the cold that was brownish gray. Unable to call Billie off point, I went back inside for gloves and a flashlight. When I got back, my trusty hunting dog was still on guard. The beam of the flashlight showed a mourning dove huddled up next to the house and the leg of a chair. I reached down and picked it up, fully expecting it to be dead. It batted its shiny brown eyes at me as I carried it into the house. I knew if I left it on the porch, it would be dead by morning. If I
brought it inside, it might die anyway, but at least it would not freeze to death. My wife got a basket with a lid, a small dish of water, and a piece of bread. We lined the basket with paper towels and put the bird and the basket in the garage where Jag, the terrier, could not get to it. I did not know what was wrong with the dove, but knew by morning, things would be better or worse. When I went to let the dogs out in the morning, I peeked into the basket. To my surprise, the dove was standing up, looking back at me. An hour or so later, when it was light outside, I took the bird in the basket to the door and opened the lid. The sun was shining brightly on the fresh white snow. It was brutally cold,
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but the little bird batted his eyes a few times and took off to the nearest tree. I do not know what its problem was the night before but a night’s rest in the garage seemed to have fixed him up. It may have been caught off-guard by the sudden change in temperature like many of us. The last I saw of it was when he took off from his original resting place and headed up the hill toward the timber. Hopefully, it will find a better place to spend the night. It might not be so lucky the net time. If Jag were to find it rather than Billie, it would not turn out so well. Jag does not point.
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