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Fresh Air and Exercise There are many types of mushrooms that grow wild, but by far the most popular ones to go after by both amateur and professional mycologist is the morel.

They are both easy to identify and delicious. In January, people will start posting lies about having found some in a sunny spot in the timber on a southern slope. This is only an attempt to get people to pointlessly walk around the timber on a cold winter day. Morels do not grow until the ground temperature is above fifty degrees. In our area of southern Iowa, this usually occurs around mid-April. It is pointless and frustrating to hunt much earlier than that. I usually wait until I receive a report of morels being found by a reliable source before I go in search of the tasty morsels.

Until that time, if anyone asks, I am looking for shed antlers. I would not want people to think I am walking around in the timber looking for something that is not there.

On Saturday, a friend of (Outdoors cont’d on pg 2)

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dog be a dog. When wanted to run while we said, “ok, you can filthy little Jag was ours, Pat, found one of the smallest morel go,” he and his short ready for a ride. All of friend, Jag, the terrier, our hunting resulted mushrooms I have headed out, leading to in no rabbits, moles, ever seen. I would where they knew we or mushrooms, but not have spotted it if were going to go. we all got plenty of I had known it was My wife fresh air and exercise. there. I am not sure and I searched diliAfter giving Billie a how he happened gently on the south bath and thorough to see it out in the facing slopes of hills brushing, everybody timber. They are the and creek banks. We was ready to sit for a same color as the looked around dead while. leaves that litter the elm trees and under forest floor and are maples. We looked usually tucked away under a rose bush or everywhere morels under a fallen branch. were supposed to grow. I think it is just I think they grow in hard-to-reach places a few days too early for morels to really so the deer and turkey do not get them. pop as we did not find a single mushroom.

Any that grow out in In the meantime, Jag the open are eaten by wildlife as soon as and Billie were huntthey pop up. Sunday ing on their own. Billie was digging up was a bit warmer so mole trails and Jag my wife and I dewas tracking rabbits. cided to check the They would occasiontimber to see if we could find any mush- ally go to the nearest Ray’s rooms. While getting stream or pond to get Longbranch Homemade 1/2 lb. Tenderloins a drink and a quick ready to leave, we & Hamburgers cooling wade in the were getting the sad Drakesville, IA • 722-3355 water. After a couple eyes routine from Billie, the poodle. He of hours running and knew we were going hunting to their heart’s content, both dogs to do something fun were wearing down. and wanted to be a Jag came back to the part of it. We were Ranger, jumped up on well aware, after a the seat, and went to few hours of hunting and running free, sleep. Billie was not he would come back ready to quit but was desperately in need of hunting at a slower a bath and brushing. pace.

On the Some days a person way home, Billie still just needs to let a

APRIL 10, 2024

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Flat Tires The first time I changed a flat tire, it was on my sister Barbara’s car. We had been working at the Runway Café, at the Ottumwa Airport; Barb managed the café for my parents, and I worked for her. Barb was going to run to the bank to get change. It was cold outside so she went to start her car to let it warm up. She came back inside with a frustrated look on her face. “My car has a flat tire,” she said. “Can you go change it for me?”

I was only 15 years-old at the time.

go up. Johnny rolled down his window. “There’s a little switch on the side of the jack; the one that says ‘Up’ and ‘Down.’ Switch it to the up position. I did, and the jack start raising the car.

I had the jack too close to the center of the car, which pretty much lifted both rear tires off the ground; that was fine with me, at least the flat was in the air. I used the flat end “I’ve never changed a flat of the tire iron to pop the hubcap loose, then put the tire, but I’ve seen it done other end on the lug nuts before,” I said. “I’ll bet I can figure it out.” Barbara to loosen them. They were really tight, and did not drove a 1971 Oldsmobile want to come lose. Johnny Ninety-Eight; a big, tworolled down his window. door luxury car. (AKA a “You’re turning the nuts boat!) the wrong way,” he said.

Johnny Watts, the airport “It’s lefty loosie, righty tightie.” Then, he rolled up maintenance man sat in his window and watched. his truck just a with one I think he was laughing parking space between at me as I was pushing us. He had the motor down on the tire iron with running to stay warm, everything I had, but the and poured a cup of cofnuts didn’t want to come fee from his thermos. He lose. Finally, I moved to a rolled down his window when I walked up. “Would different lug nut so I was pulling up on the tire iron. you want to help me change a flat tire,” I asked The nut was finally coming lose – or so I thought. him.

It felt like I was lifting the “No,” he answered blatant- whole car, but something ly. “It’s cold out there. Why was definitely moving. would I want to get out of my warm truck to help you “Crap!” I jumped away as indeed the car itself was change a tire when I just moving. I rock the car too poured a cup of coffee?” much and it fell off the I knew Johnny from the jack! Johnny rolled down café and we joked and his window. “You’re supteased each other, but I posed to loosen the lug was pretty sure he was serious when he said no. nuts before you raise the Instead, he sat in his truck car.” Then he rolled up his window and continued and watched me. watching, but he wasn’t I opened the trunk and the only one watching. pulled out the bumper jack; I fumbled around un- Barbara was inside the til I figured out how it went café watching me out the together. I put the jack on front door, and she saw the car fall off the jack. the bumper, and the tire She came running outiron in the in the jackhead, then started crank- side. “Are you okay,” she asked. I told her I was, ing, but the jack wouldn’t

then she started in on me; “I thought you said you knew how to change a tire. You better not have hurt my car; you’re going to pay for this….” As she continued to carry on, I thought to myself, I should have told her I was hurt.

Barb walked over to Johnny who was watching me get chewed out with sadistic glee. “Can you change a flat tire for me, Johnny,” she asked.

“Sure,” he answered. He took another sip of coffee, set his thermos cup on the dashboard, then got out of his truck. “No problem at all, Barb,” he said, smiling.

Then he took the tire iron from me, his smile turned to a gloating grin, “Give me that before you hurt yourself or break something.”

Johnny looked at Barbara and said, “Why don’t you go inside where it’s warm.”

Then still talking to my sister, he looked at me and said, “You should never send a little boy to do a man’s job.”

When Barb went inside, Johnny went to work changing the tire. He explained what he was doing, and why. “You always loosen the lug nuts before you lift the car, otherwise you could rock the car enough to make it fall off the jack.” He was having fun teasing me as he worked. When he was done changing the tire, I had a question.

“Why did you tell Barb you would change her tire,” I questioned, “But when I asked you to help me, you said no,” “Because your sister is (Just the Other Day cont’d on pg 4)

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(Just the Other Day cont’d from pg 3)

a pretty girl, and you’re ugly,” Johnny laughed.

“Beside Barb is nice to me, and you’re a little smart-aleck!” Then he raised an eyebrow and looked down at me, “I’ll bet you thought I forgot about you putting salt in my coffee when I came to get my thermos refilled last week, didn’t you?”

Actually, I had forgotten, but we ended up sharing a good laugh about that. When it was all said and done, Johnny Watts taught me how to change a flat tire, and thus my career as a tire changer began.

I’m not sure it was the first time I changed a flat tire by myself, but it was a tire change I’ll always remember; because it was quite embarrassing.

I had a 1974 Chevy Nova with a 350 V-8 motor, more than enough power for that car. I was doing a burn out in front of the Vocational Building on Gateway Drive, to impress some friends in my auto-mechanics class.

Naturally, I was power braking to get extra squeal and smoke from the tires.

Unfortunately, this was not the first time I had done such a thing; in the cloud of billowing smoke my tire blew out and shredded. Ken Corbett, the auto mechanic’s instructor was standing on the dock watching me.

After the bell rang, we all took our seats in the classroom and our teacher took attendance. “Does

anyone have a project they need to work on today,” Mr. Corbett asked.

I raised my hand. “What have you got, Palen?”

“I need to change a flat tire on my car,” I said.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with that stupid stunt you pulled in front of the school building at lunch now, would it Mr. Palen?” Corbett was on to me, and the lecture began. “You’ll have to go out and change the tire in the parking lot before you can pull your car into the

shop,” he said. I explain the tire was ruined, so I could just drive it in on the flat. “And take a chance on damaging your rim,” Mr. Corbett said. “I don’t think so. Go change the tire. Do you have a spare, or did you burn that out, too?”

After changing the tire, I pulled my Nova into the shop where Mr. Corbett, inspected the tires with me. “You’re going to need four new tires,” he said.

Gulp!

“I was just going to run on the spare for now,” I explained. (I was a high school kid with limited/no funds.)

Mr. Corbett said, “You have steel belts showing on your other rear tire, probably from doing burnouts, and your front tires are bald.” Then showing me where the spare tire was wearing thin on both edges, he said, “That’s from running a tire underinflated.” Is the first time you’ve changed tires on this jalopy?” I told him it was and he started laughing. “Well, I ‘spect when you have to buy your own tires you might think twice about power-braking, Mr. Wisenheimer.”

them, or will you be riding the school bus home tonight?” Heaven forbid a high school senior who owns his own car, should ride the bus! “Look at the bright side,” Mr. Corbett said. “You can mount and balance the tires here in the shop, and that will save you seven bucks a wheel.” I ordered the tires and mounted them on my car the same day. I couldn’t believe how much nicer my Chevy rode on a new set of skins!

The next day at school, I was doing a burn out in front of the Vocational Building to impress some friends in my auto-mechanics class. I couldn’t believe how much more I tried to reason with him, smoke came off a set of but Mr. Corbett was firm, new rubber. Unfortunately, “Those tires are not safe. I didn’t notice Mr. Corbett That car is not leaving this standing on the dock in shop on those tires. Peri- front of the school. od!” Then he told me to go makes some calls to price After the bell rang, we all new tires. “Make sure you took our seat in the classtell them you’re in the high room and our teacher took school auto mechanic’s attendance. Mr. Corbett class,” Mr. Corbett said. looked at me sternly. “Are “You’ll get the school’s you a slow learner, or discount.” were you just born stupid?” And then, the lecture “They want $140.00 for began. four tires,” I reported. Mr. Corbett wasn’t surprised at all.

“Well, did you order

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