The End by Jacki Souza

The End

by Jacki Souza

I've been holding on to you for so long now

that my fingers are stuck in the grasp

and I'm afraid that if I try to let go

all my knuckles are going to crack.

So there I'll be with my broken hands

not even able to save my own heart

as it splinters at your feet,

just out of reach.

But if I keep clinging, even as you run,

it's going to rip me apart by the sockets

while you just keep moving on.

And I've been seeing you in my mind for so long now

that my eyes are beginning to ache.

The sun at midnight lights you up

while I wait, and I wait, and I wait.

So here I am with my watering eyes

that burn, and sting, and turn bright red

and then green again, and brighter still

because I fail, and I fail, and I fail to turn your head.

And I've been feeling you, so sharp, for so long now

that my nerves are all on edge.

Their memory of you is never dulled

they know your height, and your width, and your depth.

It's like scrapingmy skin all raw and sore

trying to learn new temperatures and shapes,

and my fingertips always seem to get lost

on their way around a new face.

And I know-I know-what I really need to do:

release my grip and eyes and scrub till all my skin knows is

the stinging

but it won't remember you.

And I need to gather myself together

inside that burning skin,

to wait till my hands have healed stronger

and my eyes can see again-

Till I can put myself back together

and finally be free

of someone whose life is so far away

who will never have time for me.