“Job-hunting 101” Looking for a job, I’ve determined, is like having a cavity filled. It’s for your own good, but you can’t wait until it’s over. At least the job listings are entertaining. Take this ad I found on an online employment site, for example. It’s titled “Zombie Roll Call.” Apparently, a film company is looking for not only zombie actors, but monsters and victims, as well, to star in various roles. I just might be qualified. This job search is making me feel like all of the above. Here’s one: “What’s for breakfast?” is a consumer research firm looking for people to conduct interviews with other people about what they eat in the morning. Really? Who cares? Then, there are the posts that help you capitalize on your health-related issues: “Anonymous Egg Donors Needed!” Sorry, I am unqualified for your position. Blame menopause. “Back Pain Sufferers Interviews,” “Blood Pressure Study,” “Constipation Clinical Research.” What about the agony involved in looking for a job? If that’s a category, I’m all in. Ooooh. Now this one sounds exciting --- “Head Lice Removal Technician.” It’s a part-time position. That’s good. And, compared to the opening for a pet sitter, my allergies would probably thank me for working with people. Of all the job ads I’ve come across, I think I like this one the best: “Can You Help Me Get Flowers To My Boyfriend?” It reads: “Hi, My boyfriend lives in Georgia, and I live here in Tucson, Az. He’s in the military. Before he leaves, I wanna see him one last time. Please can you help me?! I also wanna get him flowers and surprise him there.” Soul-searching has revealed that this job search of mine is not necessarily about the quality of the openings. It’s more about answering the question: What do I want to be when I grow up? Until I decide, I’m thinking about helping to deliver those flowers. Besides true love, the world could use a few more flowers. Sarah Rivera is a freelance writer who lives in Atlanta, Georgia. She relies heavily on chocolate and a sense of humor.
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