417 Final Magazine

WOMAN VOICE All what concerns the Egyptian Woman Issue 1- December 2014

End Violence against Women

Marilyn Monroe’s mistake

Child brides in Egypt

2014 Winter Collection

8 Reasons Why You Should Marry The Complicated Girl

Winter Benefit’s

Content Page P37 VictoP 21 Why Stretching ria Secert in May Not Make You More Flexibile?

CFC

P42 Marilyn Monroe’s mistake

P39 Why Settling For ‘Good Enough’ Will Never Make You Happy

P32 Trend-

ing Coats this Winter

P13 Stop

Viloence aginst Woman

P23 Winter Benefits

P11 UnVeiling Trend

P15 Theraby For Alzheimer’s

P34 High Heels MAkes You Attrcative

General News

Egyptian Women Take a Stand Against Sexual Abuse

G

roup of Egyptian women are taking a stand against sexual harassment and abuse with the creation of HarassMap, a crowdsourced way to monitor and protect women in Cairo.

The site asks women to report any sexual assault by calling, texting, emailing or tweeting (#harassmap) the site.The reports are then placed on a searchable map and colored by type of abuse.

The acts reported can range from catcalls and ogling to more dangerous situations like stalking and even rape.

Women who report incidents are given counsel on how to file a police report, find psychological help and self-defense classes.

Using that map, the site can identify abuse hot spots.

The project is led by Americanborn Rebecca Chiao and a group of other local volunteers. Chiao sees the site as the start of a quiet sexual revolution on the heels of Egypt›s popular uprising.

HarassMap, like the revolutions, will hopefully prove that social media and digital tools can continue to make a difference in Egypt.

Crowdsourcing is a gutsy way to prevent sexual assault, which is historically under-reported by victims that may feel ashamed.

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This is especially true in Egypt where women can actually be held to blame for being assaulted.

“People have been under a lot of pressure, and overcrowding, noise, stress are increasing,” Chiao said of Egypt in an interview with the Toronto Star.

Volunteers then make calls to local shopkeepers, residents and police explaining how they can make their at-risk communities safer for women.

“They take out their frustration on people below them. Women are seen as objects of sexual temptation. If you’re harassed as a women, it’s supposed to be your fault.” The consequences for men are often negligible.

As the Star reports, a 2008 survey of more than 2,000 men and women by the Egyptian Center for Women’s rights claimed that 83% of Egyptian females and 98% of foreign females said they had been exposed to some form of sexual harassment.

HarassMap is trying to expand by reaching out to schools and NGOs, but perhaps the most promising note is that about half of the project’s volunteer base consists of men.

What do you think of HarassMap? Do you think a project like this can make a difference?

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The Story Behind Child Brides in Egypt In communities where poverty and illiteracy are rife, you invariably see girls under the age of eighteen being married to men often much older. UNCIEF defines marriage under the age of eighteen as child marriage.

A survey published by the National Council for Women illustrated that in Egypt the percentage of girls being married before the age eighteen is 22 percent which rises in governorates of Port Said and Fayoum to 38 percent.

When families live under dire circumstances, parents often have no choice but to witness their daughters leaving the family home to start their own family. Some girls are as young as eleven when they are promised to a man. And as Egypt sadly continues to struggle with economic strain, many parents resort to sham nuptials which can last as little as a few hours to a few years.

“Marriage brokers” can take girls from the age of eleven from villages to rich Arab visitors staying in hotels in the cities of Egypt.

A one day “muta’ (or pleasure marriage) can be arranged by the “marriage brokers” for as little as LE800 which is then split between the broker and the child’s parents. Or there is a summer long “misyar” marriages which can be charged between LE20,000 and LE70,000.

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or the duration of the marriage, this temporary contract offers a way to outwit Islamic restrictions on pre-martial sex and allows the husband and wife to stay in the same hotel rooms or apartments.

This legally binding contract then ceases when the man chooses to return to his home country. Some families see this as an opportunity for their daughter but invariably their poverty forces them to make such choices.

But the debate on child marriage is not restricted to religious viewpoints but more prominently on cultural expectations.

In some communities in Egypt, the expectation is that when a girl hits puberty then she ought to be married and most likely to a cousin or relative. Parents often see little point in waiting further when the child already appears to have developed fully into a woman.

Furthermore,cultural expectations,in some communities of Egypt, suggest that girls do not require an education. So, illiteracy perpetuates the problem of child marriage.

If a child has not had the opportunity to complete her primary or middle school education then there is a higher chance that she will be married below the age of eighteen. Her illiteracy will not enable her to be able to leave a spiralling circle of deprivation or an opportunity to progress in further education.

Though there are many causes to child marriage in Egypt, the result of child marriage is far more troublesome. When girls particularly under the age of sixteen, are married, the risk of abuse, both physically and physiologically, is high. In addition, girls are more likely to miscarry in pregnancy or experience severe complications in their pregnancy. These difficulties can lead to unprecedented amounts of trauma to the girls and can stunt physical and mental development.

Though there are many causes to child marriage in Egypt, the result of child marriage is far more troublesome. When girls particularly under the age of sixteen, are married, the risk of abuse, both physically and physiologically, is high. In addition, girls are more likely to miscarry in pregnancy or experience severe complications in their pregnancy. These difficulties can lead to unprecedented amounts of trauma to the girls and can stunt physical and mental development.

A girl and a little child in Egypt.

Despite people knowing these facts and awareness being made across Egypt, girls are still being married at a young age. Many families resist change because it is altering age old traditions and beliefs. In addition, many families see little point on changing rules on child marriage because once they have found a suitor willing to pay a dowry, it seems apt that the marriage takes place, however, young the girl.

But, it is clear that if people and communities continue to insist that all girls have the opportunity to a full education then these girls will be empowered to make their own choices on their future, and when they are ready to marry and ready to start a family In studies, UNICEF found that “healthy, educated and empowered women are more likely to have healthy, educated and confident children.�

Further, education for parents is required in order for them to be fully aware of the risks of child marriage and the importance of education for girls. If this is done sensitively and respectfully then a future generation of females will be empowered to make healthy choices about their bodies and about future decisions, especially in further education. If this is done correctly, who knows what impact that could have on the Egyptian society.

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Girls in Egypt can be as young as 11 when they get married.

Unveiling the Trend: Egyptian Women Re-Think the Veil There are so many ways to tackle this topic many of which can easily be biased or stereotypical. However, what we should be trying to do is to look at this issue in an open-minded manner, trying to understand how certain women choose to wear and then remove their veil. In this article I will use the world veil, not in an attempt to westernize it but rather because the word ‘hijab’ was never mentioned in the Holy Quran in any context to describe women’s clothing.

For many Egyptian women, there are certain social milestones that they seek to achieve in life; marriage, children, and getting veiled.

The number of women who have been fulfilling the veil milestone has been on the rise for the past couple of decades, yet another trend is slowly emerging, that is women who decide to take off their veil.

Aside from religious views and social judgments, the trend is worthy of exploring as it definitely gives us some insight into the way women’s culture is starting to change.

Yasmine El Sherbiny, a development executive, has been wearing the veil for several years. She started wearing it because she wanted to become consistent with herself through fully obeying the teachings of Islam. However, Yasmine thinks that there may be other reasons why women wear the veil in lower social classes, “I think in these classes women are brought up and ordered to wear the veil and sometimes even wear it out of fear of being criticized by their surrounding community”.

Indeed in many modest social classes women cannot face society without the veil, and women who are not veiled take the step in order to attract suitors.

On the subject of women removing their veil she says, “I think some women are hasty when they wear it and even when they remove it. Before wearing the veil some women are confused about the real reasons behind their decision and cannot determine if it is because of their own true belief and how it will bring them closer to Allah or if it is to please their family or community”.

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On the other side of the spectrum, H.G, a -27yearold teaching assistant currently studying for her PhD. in the US has been wearing the veil since puberty and decided to take it off a few months ago. Her upbringing in Saudi Arabia and her religious parents gave her no other choice but to wear it, and she never got the chance to think for herself if it was a choice she wanted to make.

“I’m not claiming that my choice is the best nor am I attacking other people’s beliefs. I simply reached a realization that I could not continue to wear it to please society which categorizes women into those who wear the veil (good women) and those who don’t (incomplete women who lack guidance). I demand people’s respect and I earn it by showing integrity, honesty, and modesty in external appearance. I am simply being myself and being comfortable in my own skin”.

Clearly the veil has moved from being a purely religious obligation (as mainstream religious views believe) to a cultural norm and a form of social classification. Yet aside from social pressures, women are increasingly starting to challenge mainstream views and look at the veil in a totally new light.

H.G is convinced that the veil is not a major obligation for Muslim women as is propagated, “I’ve read many arguments and “tafseers” (interpretations of the Quran), and I think the common notion that not wearing the veil is an unforgivable sin is overrated. I decided that I could not keep deceiving myself anymore by staying veiled just because most people say that it is the only right thing”.

H.G is not alone in this struggle to come to terms with her true identity. I have personally suffered from the constant pressure society places on women to get veiled, making them feel incomplete if they don’t. Being a newcomer to Egypt 10 years ago and subconsciously wanting to fit in, feel good about myself, and feel more secure about my religious practices I decided to wear the veil–after all almost all women I knew were veiled.

I would constantly hear comments such as “when will you get veiled?”, “you will look wonderful in the veil”, “It is ok, take you time, you will do it sooner or later”.

However as time passed and as I began to understand how so much unjustified emphasis has been placed on the veil as a religious and social obligation for women, I became less and less convinced that I was doing the right thing for myself. I also became more socially and religiously secure, that I didn’t need the veil to belong anymore.

It is now becoming more evident that whether their reason to wear the veil was religious or social, women are increasingly re-thinking their choices. Unfortunately though, society does not always give them a break.

Women who get veiled are always congratulated, yet once a veiled woman decides to uncover her hair she is greeted with appalled looks, negative comments, and judgments. The point here is not whether or not the veil is mandatory (a settled issue for some and a debatable issue for others), but that women should be free to choose without any pressure. Society does not put so much pressure over Muslims who drink or commit other sins -possibly because they can be committed discretely-, so why do women have to feel such pressure if they decide to take off their veil or even get pressurized into wearing it?

In the end we are all entitled to our beliefs and our practices. We do not have the right to judge other people and should not be pressuring them conform to our beliefs no matter what they are. So whether you are veiled, not veiled, want to get veiled, want to take off your veil, the most important thing is that you are comfortable with who you are, and that your outer appearance is a genuine expression of your true identity and beliefs.

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United We Stand to End Violence Against Women: No Silence, No Violence Today, the 25th of November, marks the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. We’ve decided to take this as a chance to shed the light on this cause, as you’d be surprised by the alarming cases we don't necessarily hear about. Did you know that an average of 1 in 3 women across the world is beaten by her loved one or even a family member during her lifetime?

Have you ever put yourself in her shoes? Have you ever been in her shoes?

We won’t talk in cliches and tell you never be ashamed of this if you’ve experienced violence.We will tell you to find strength and power to fight against what happens behind closed doors. You are your own aid and waiting for help might not change anything unless you take action yourself.

Violence against women is just more common than you think it is, and it isn’t always visible. It could happen to anyone; all races, all religions, all social standards and educational levels.

No, it’s not your fault! You are a strong beautiful woman who happened to be involved with a troubled abusive man. Because love is not abuse, we wanted to portray the unspoken stories of different types of women.

Here›s to strong women, may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them.

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Medical Section

Music Therapy for Individuals With Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias

A couple months ago there was a big buzz about a video circulating widely on the Internet. The video, called "Alive Inside," showed a social worker giving an iPod filled with music to a nursing home resident.

What ensued allowed viewers to witness the amazing power of music: Henry, the gentleman featured in the story, does indeed come alive while listening to music of his era, and after doing so he lifts up his head, he opens his eyes, his face lights up and he talks about the music, he reminisces, and he shares what music means to him.

This is just a short clip from a documentary by Michael Rossato-Bennett that follows Dan Cohen, social worker and executive director of Music & Memory, whose mission is to improve the quality of life for people who are elderly and infirm through the use of personalized music and digital technology. His iPod Project brings iPods loaded with patients' favorite music to long-term care facilities. The project›s aims «are to support the initiation of iPod-based personalized music programs regardless of one›s location (e.g., at home, in a nursing home, assisted living facility, hospital, or hospice) and raise public awareness about the benefits of keeping engaged with a rich personal music environment regardless of physical, cognitive, or social condition.»

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What Cohen observed and viewers can observe in the film is that individuals with memory loss seem to "awaken" when they experience music to which they have an emotional attachment. Neurologist Oliver Sacks has explained, "Music imprints itself on the brain deeper than any other human experience.

Music evokes emotion and emotion can bring with it memory."

Furthermore, according to Connie Tomaino, executive director and co-founder of the Institute for Music and Neurologic Function and senior vice president for music therapy at CenterLight Health System, formerly Beth Abraham Family of Health Services, "Music is an essential bridge to connecting people with dementia and Alzheimer's Disease to themselves, their loved ones and their personal history."

«over 5,300 music therapists currently maintain the MT-BC credential and participate in a program of recertification designed to measure or enhance competence in the profession of music therapy.»

What is new, however, is how readily accessible music can be because of the iPod and other technology. The power of music and its inherent abilities to animate, enliven, stimulate and more are the very basis of the profession of music therapy.The combination of readily accessible music and a qualified, trained professional music therapist is a very strong mixture. Suzanne Hanser writes that patients who are “the most withdrawn and confused” due to Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias “are able to participate actively in music therapy sessions.” In addition,“as music demands reality-oriented behavior in the present without risk of failure, even the most cognitively impaired older adults master musical tasks with enhanced self-respect.” And many music therapists now work with patients and their family caregivers.

Connie Tomaino comments that Henry’s profound response in the film shows how dramatic the right music can be -- but it is not until someone speaks to Henry that we hear his response about what the music means to him. Since we know that music can be positive as well as negative, input from a music therapist would maximize the music’s therapeutic benefits. If a person can be awakened simply by listening to his favorite music, imagine what would happen if he participated in sessions with a professional music therapist on a regular basis... Music therapy can take these “in the moment” responses to a different level of improved attention, awareness, social interaction, connection to others, even improved memory, whereas the iPod is only tapping into the possibilities.

Take, for example, a music therapy session with Molly. Molly was a quiet woman who was pleasantly observant during group programs but otherwise nonverbal. She had been diagnosed with advanced dementia, and she no longer recognized family or time and place. Sometimes she was tearful and withdrawn.

Molly›s family had mentioned that she enjoyed old but popular Irish American tunes, like «When Irish Eyes Are Smiling,» and James Cagney movies. Her records mentioned that she grew up in England and then came to the U.S. in her early adolescence.

The music therapist worked with Molly in a group program on her unit but found that Molly was mostly responsive to two songs: «It›s a Long Way to Tipperary» and «An Irish Lullaby.» Seeing these positive responses informed the music therapist that Molly had a particular connection to these songs compared to others of the same genre.

Working with Molly in individual sessions, the music therapist played these songs -- both live on the accordion and on recordings to further engage Molly›s responses.

Using music in nursing homes and health care facilities is nothing new. It›s been happening since the 1940s. Music therapy, «the clinical and evidence-based use of music interventions to accomplish individualized goals within a therapeutic relationship by a credentialed professional who has completed an approved music therapy program» has specifically been occurring since then as well. According to the Certification Board for Music Therapists (CBMT),

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Remember, up to now she had been nonverbal. With each session Molly started opening her mouth as if trying to sing the song -- sometimes random words would be spoken. The music therapist was able to make pauses in the song when these words were spoken to see if Molly was trying to communicate something about the song. As the therapist analyzed the verbalizations she realized that Molly was speaking about an apartment, a house number and her family.

Some of the images were of towns in Ireland rather than England. When the music therapist asked Molly›s family about this, they noted that Molly spent her early childhood in Ireland. This information had been forgotten by family as it was so long ago they didn›t think it mattered.

Fleeting images were being verbally expressed as the music therapist continued to play, pause and allow Molly to respond to the music in real time. Without this ongoing and regular engagement between the music therapist and Molly, the meaning of these verbalizations would have been missed. A response in the moment is only «scratching the surface.» It is a fleeting reaction to something familiar. But with the music therapist engaging the client in those responses there becomes a potential for maximizing therapeutic benefit or treatment.

The therapist may learn to understand where the responses are coming from and why. It is the hope of Michael Rossato-Bennett, the filmmaker, "that this film awakens people's hearts and helps make it possible to bring music to those in nursing homes, people who don't even know how deeply they need music's gifts." And I'd like to add, when the music arrives, it is my fervent hope that there will be music therapists around to guide the process, ready to accept referrals of individuals into the program, develop rapport with them, assess their strengths and needs, set goals and objectives for their therapy, observe, develop music therapy strategies, plan and implement music therapy interventions, evaluate progress on an ongoing basis, and readjust and reassess as needed.

So, the more music the better! Ensuring that residents in nursing homes and others have access to music of their choice is a fabulous goal to strive toward.

In addition, with the mission of "advancing public awareness of the benefits of music therapy and increasing access to quality music therapy services in a rapidly changing world," provision of music therapy services to aid in the recovery of illness or lessen the impact of a disabling condition is also a goal to which we in the American Music Therapy Association are striving.

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From despair to triumph: The story of a breast cancer survivor Phillipa Kibugu was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1994 while living in the United States of America. This was four years after her sister died of the same disease at a tender age of 38.

“When my sister died, we didn’t know anything about breast cancer then. She was taken to England for treatment but on reaching there, the cancer had spread to the liver. Surgery was done but she died. I was the one taking care of her at the time. It was a trying time,” Kibugu sadly narrates.

Kibugu feels that her sister died because she was not knowledgeable about the disease and it was detected in the late stages. Kibugu is the Director of Breast Cancer Initiative East Africa Inc (BCIEA), an initiative that was behind the Ulinzi breast cancer walk held last weekend. Dressed in a pink camouflage during the walk, Kibugu calls herself a soldier of breast cancer awareness. Pink is the theme colour for breast cancer awareness.

Following her sister’s death, Kibugu says she started learning about breast cancer. “I wanted to know about the disease to be prepared. I was in the US at the time and breast cancer awareness was massive.”But in 1994 after identifying that she was at a risk, doctors started taking care of her and closely monitored her. Indeed she started taking annual mammography early at the age of 30 since her sister had died of the disease.

“In January 1994, I started feeling sharp pain. I went to the doctor and he said everything was okay. I went back and insisted, he carried out various tests but everything was negative. It was when he did a biopsy that the cancer was detected. It was in its early stages.

I was given an option of a single mastectomy. But I opted for a mastectomy for both breasts. I did so for my family. I didn’t want to take any chances,” Kibugu recalls.

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Kibugu had to undergo chemotherapy which is the most trying time for most cancer patients given the side effects related to the procedure such as fatigue, loss of appetite and hair, mood swings, nausea and so much more.

“I had nine rounds of chemotherapy. It was the most trying time of my life. My hair started falling off. But I kept a positive spirit. I learnt one thing that time; you can’t hide a disease from your family and friends because it affects them too. So they need to know and support you in any way they can,” Kibugu emotionally explains She adds: “I remember I had nice hair, but when it began falling off, I asked my -10year-old daughter to give me a haircut. She asked me if I was sure and I gave her a go ahead. From that day on, she felt she was part of my treatment. Her support made me push through the treatment as well as everyone in my family. Healing starts with the patient being able to ask for help from those around him or her.”

When she recovered, she got involved in many breast cancer awareness programmes in America and gave her testimony to patients who had come to America for cancer treatment. She attributes her healing to being knowledgeable about the disease and having a supporting medical team, family, friends and church.

On return to Rwanda in 2007, she realised that Rwandan women needed to be empowered with knowledge and everything else needed to take charge of their health.

“When I survived, I asked myself, did my sister die because she didn’t know about breast cancer? I felt she represented many women who were not informed about the disease. I returned to Rwanda to use my experience to educate women and create awareness about breast cancer. On reaching here I met with 27 women whose breasts had been surgically removed so I founded Breast Cancer Initiative East Africa Inc (BCIEA),” says Kibugu.

Even though she had a team of seven doctors taking care of her, she was involved in making different decisions about her treatment. “Every woman deserves the kind of treatment I had when I was dealing with breast cancer. I’m praying and hoping Rwandan women get access to treatment. Fortunately I was a full time teacher in the US with excellent insurance policy that my treatment didn’t drain me a lot,” Kibugu says.

Currently, the initiative has had direct contact with over 7,000 Rwandan women who are empowered through awareness, education and early detection workshops to utilise lessons learned and evidence – based approaches to generate awareness about breast cancer in communities. “I always teach the women to take charge of their lives through living a heathy life.

The initiative is aimed at promoting ‘early detection is the best protection’ which is our mission. But we also ensure that no one should face breast cancer fearfully, helplessly and alone,” Kibugu says.

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She also says that she is happy that there are now many oncologists in the country. “As the government sets up the facilities for breast cancer, I believe that the women need to have the knowledge about the disease. Knowledge is power. If you know your enemy, it’s easy to fight him,” Kibugu advises.

She adds: “My dream is to turn all the breast cancer diagnosis into survival stories like mine and this can be done through early detection and treatment. My wish is too see the cure of cancer in my lifetime.”

According to Anne Rugege, Kibugu’s long time friend, she was present during the first auction and fundraising that set up Breast Cancer Initiative East Africa while they were still living in the US. “Philippa is a spiritual person that even when she was going through treatment of breast cancer, she was hopeful. Although it was just four years after she lost her sister to the disease, she remained positive that she was going to recover. Luckily the breast cancer support groups in the US were really helpful and so was the community,” Rugege says.

Rugege and Kibugu first crossed paths while at Gayaza High School in Uganda and they have been friends ever since.

“It’s her passion to help and support as well as share information, something I think she gets from being a teacher by profession. That inspired her to start the initiative. She had friends in Uganda, Kenya and Rwanda who would call her in the US and tell her about their experience and this led her into creating awareness about the disease,” says Rugege.

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Breast cancer survivor Phillipa Kibugu during the Ulinzi walk for breast cancer awareness in Kigali.(Doreen Umutesi)

Health & Fittness

Big Benefits Of Exercising Outside This Winter

Let's face it -- it's tough to find the motivation to exercise outside these days. During the work week, sometimes both legs of our daily commutes are completed in utter darkness. And while weekend sunshine is appreciated, it doesn't do much to warm up our wintry surroundings. But before you throw in the towel and restrict yourself to the crowded, stuffy gym for the next few months, it may be worth giving the idea of a winter workout a second thought.

Exercisers are often concerned about the internal safety hazards that come along with chilly sweat sessions, but there is surprisingly little to worry about.

Simply suiting up appropriately with enough layers made of moisture-wicking fabrics keeps the body at a healthy temperature and functioning the same way it would in any other workout environment. Sure, a slippery moment on an icy running path could lead to injury, but circumstantial (and potentially clumsy) moments aside, exercising outside during the wintertime actually boasts benefits that may not be achieved as efficiently elsewhere.

If you can pull yourself away from that cozy seat in front of the fireplace, you'll reap these seven bonus benefits of sweating it out in the cold weather -- and you might even learn to love it.

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As the body works harder to regulate its core temperature among the elements, you'll burn a few more calories during your wintry workout compared to one conducted indoors. While the calorie burn varies with each person's body mass and the extremity of the temperature, it can be a nice morale booster (especially around the food-focused holidays) to get more out of your sweat session in this regard.

Cold weather also makes the heart work harder to distribute blood throughout the body. For an unhealthy heart that struggles to manage the additional stress, this process can exacerbate illness and injury. But a regular exerciser with cardiovascular endurance can make their heart muscle even stronger with these cold-weather sessions, better preparing.

Staying hydrated is one of the most important factors in minimizing the dangers of cold-weather workouts.

The body continues to sweat, but that sweat evaporates more quickly into the chilly, dry air, making it seem as though the body is losing less water. Drinking water before, during and after cold-weather workouts helps maintain peak performance, protect the body from injury and stay warm from start to finish. Don’t wait to feel thirsty to hydrate!

It can feel downright painful to force yourself out into the elements for the first workout of the winter season, but rest assured that over time, it does get easier. According to chief coach of the New York Road Runners organization John Honerkamp, it's important to adjust your expectations as you acclimate rather than push for your typical, temperate-weather performance. Pay particular attention to the amount of effort you're putting forth rather than hitting certain time, distance or other performance goals, and try to just enjoy the process.

Sure, it may be cold, but that doesn’t mean the extra sun exposure won’t supply you with the same critical nutrients it does throughout the warmer parts of the year. The relative benefit also feels more substantial in the wintertime since the amount of natural light is already so restricted. Just remember to wear your sunscreen (yes, even when it’s freezing) after your skin is exposed for 10 to 15 minutes.

Proper warm-up and cool-down movements are crucial to keeping the body in top fitness shape, but they become even more important when it’s cold outside.

Keeping the body loose, limber and warm for a chilly workout can help prevent painful twists, sprains, tears and other injuries. Winter workouts will encourage you to become a pro when it comes to full warmup and cool-down routines, the former to keep your internal body temperature elevated, and the latter to reduce unnecessary tightness inspired by the chill in the air.

Cold-weather exercise also has the ability to boost one’s mood, thanks to the lack of humidity (which creates that heavy air feeling in the summer months) and the stimulating aspect of the chill. As the body works harder to stay warm, the amount of endorphins produced also increases, leaving you with a stronger sense of happiness and lightness following a workout in the cold.

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Why Stretching May Not Make You More Flexibile?

Many people think stretching is essential to improving flexibility. Runners stretch their hamstrings before hitting the pavement, gymnasts do hyper-splits during their warm-ups and yogis wind down their practice with some forward bends. But does stretching really prevent tight hamstrings and stiff shoulders? And if so, how? It turns out that scientists don't fully understand what happens during a stretch. "Yoga will make you more flexible, but we don't know how," said Jules Mitchell, a yoga instructor and a master's degree candidate in exercise science at California State University, Long Beach.

It is clear that stretching doesn't actually make muscles permanently longer, experts agree. Instead, it may be that exercises such as reaching for your toes train the nervous system to tolerate a greater degree of muscle extension without firing off pain signals.

And traditional, passive stretches may not even be the best way to accomplish that task, the researchers say.

[7 Common Exercise Errors and How to Avoid Them] During a stretch, the muscle fibers and tendons (which attach the muscles to the bones) elongate, said Markus Tilp, a sports scientist and a biomechanist at the University of Graz, in Austria.

However, making a habit of stretching will not create a sustained lengthening of the muscle or fibers. Muscle tissue attaches at fixed points in the bone, so the entire muscle complex can›t get permanently longer.And if one likens muscle tissue to a rubber band, it would not be a good thing for the muscle to get permanently stretched out, as that would mean a decrease in its elasticity, said Mitchell, who wrote her master›s thesis on the science of stretch.

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When animals are placed in casts that keep their muscles extended for a long time, their bodies do add additional sarcomeres, or the basic subunits of muscle fibers, but their muscles return to their original shape soon after the animal is removed from those constraints. And in those studies, it›s not clear that the lengthened muscles improved the animal›s flexibility.

In a June 2014 study in the journal Clinical Biomechanics,Tilp and colleague Andreas Konrad found no differences in people›s muscles and tendons after six weeks of a static-stretching regimen.

So, if muscle fiber doesn›t get longer as a result of stretching, why does stretching seem to increase people›s flexibility?

The nervous system is the master conductor determining how far a person can stretch, said Brooke Thomas, a yoga instructor who discussed the science of stretching in a blog post on Breakingmuscle.com.

Nerve endings are dispersed throughout the muscle and tendon, and if a stretch doesn’t feel safe for the muscle, those nerves will fire, registering pain and resistance, Thomas told Live Science.

These nerves “will say ‘you better stop stretching, because if you stretch further, the muscle will maybe get damaged,’” Tilp told Live Science. That’s why a person under anesthesia, whose nerves are quieted, can be stretched through a full range of motion with no resistance. And healthy babies are born able to do the splits, because they haven’t developed a blueprint for ranges of motion that feel unsafe, Mitchell said.

There’s no doubt that Yoga practitioners who do triangle poses or splits for years will gradually be able to deepen their stretch. But that’s because those repeated poses are retraining the nervous system to be quiet at deeper levels of stretch, a process known as stretch tolerance, Tilp said.

“You’re not feeling this pain anymore, and that makes it possible for you to get into a deeper position with an even more flexed joint,” TIlp said.

Modern people spend all day sitting, so their nervous systems and muscles become habituated to a limited range of motion. [6 Ways to Make Sitting Healthier] “The body adapts to the movements you most frequently make,” Mitchell said. “The corollary to that is that the body adapts to the movements you don’t make: It adapts by not making those movements anymore.”

People who want more forgiving hamstrings or hip joints need to stand up, sit, squat, walk and change positions throughout the day, Mitchell said.

Passive stretches may not be the most effective way of increasing flexibility, Mitchell said. Although several studies found that passive-training regimens do modestly increase flexibility, it may be more effective to do something called proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation (PNF), where people extend their muscles and then try to contract them from a lengthened position, Tilp said.

A study that will be published in the December 2014 issue of the Journal of Sports Medicine and Fitness found that gymnasts could increase their flexibility more after PNF stretching than after static stretches.

People aiming to increase their flexibility in their hamstrings may try doing forward bends and contracting their hamstrings at the same time as they are stretching. Alternately, people can try lying on their back and stretching the hamstrings with a yoga belt, and tightening the hamstrings at the same time as pulling their legs toward their face, Mitchell said.

It works because that kind of stretching loads the muscle with more force at a greater level of extension, which then tells the nervous system that the muscle can be strong and safe at that level of extension, she said.

Woman Voice 26

Rushing through our busy lives we often take the easy way out, ordering fast-food, eating processed products, and ready made meals. We have no time to waste, we have no energy to go every day to the store to buy fresh produce, so we stuff ourselves with foodlike things that provide us with little or no nutritional value, while risking our own lives and the lives of our families, plaguing ourselves with heart diseases, diabetes, cancers, and more. Our way out is to try to find a way, a practical and easy way, to include more fruits and vegetables in our busy schedule, to provide our bodies with the nourishment it needs.

FAST FOOD:THE REAL DEAL Bananas are the go-to food for any health advocate. Its easy to just grab a few bananas, stash them in a plastic zip-bag, and keep them in your bag, your car, office, or whatever place you need. Just peel and eat, it doesn’t get any faster than that! You can do the same with any other fruit, pre-wash them and take them in a bag or box for whenever you need a good snack, its definitely better than munching on empty processed calories.

ORGANIZE

How To Include More Vegetables And Fruits In Your Diet?

Woman Voice 27

We often feel like eating something light and nutritious but are too lazy to wash and make a salad, soup, or whatever else.With some organisation this will not be a problem. Wash your vegetables and fruits, prepare them, cut them if needed, and stack them in boxes in the fridge, that way it would be super easy to make a fresh salad in no time. Do this prepping twice a week and you will always have fresh, nutritious, healthy food all the time, e is, think about a way to add fruits and vegetables to it. Shred, cut, blend, or whatever you think would be best. Add color. texture, and nutrition to every meal you have.

GO SHOPPING To be able to organize your fruits and vegetables you actually need to have fruits and vegetables. Go shopping, spend most of your time in the produce aisle, pick out the freshest and your favorite. Don’t be afraid to explore new things, get inventive, adventurous with your shopping, you will enjoy it.

ALTERNATIVE SHOPPING If you don’t have time to do this, you can always shop online, there are many health store websites that provide you with the luxury of online shopping. There are places that deliver a box filled with their freshest produce right to your doorstep, once or twice a week, as needed. Explore your options and find what works best for you.

SLEND ALL YOU CAN Smoothies are a great way to start the day. Combine your favorite fruits, with some nuts, flaxseeds, spices (cinnamon,YUM!), and a liquid (water preferably, juice, or healthy milks). Smoothies are not only delicious, but will keep you filled up for long. If you are always on the go, find a reusable travel cup that you like, and you are good to go.

TWEAK THE RECIPES Whatever the recipe is, think about a way to add fruits and vegetables to it. Shred, cut, blend, or whatever you think would be best. Add color. texture, and nutrition to every meal you have.

Woman Voice 28

Fashion

Colored Coats Are Trending This Winter Winter coats have been updated ladies, and colored coats are trending now more than ever. Now I am not saying ditch your usual black coats, I am just tempting you to go out and invest in a colored coat. Think pink, teal green or even electric blue, they have a huge impact on your outfit. For the days where you just want to wear black on black, a colored coat is the perfect addition to it. When you are feeling like wearing some pastels or even cream winter outfits, a colored coat on top is what you need to keep you warm and stylish.

Most importantly, winter should not be all about the dark colors, step outside your comfort zone and add go for colored coats this winter.

Knitted Cardigans for a Cozy Winter Look The perfect winter look to keep you warm and cozy is all about layering, and to wear layers like a pro, you need to include a knitted cardigan to your outfit. We picked our favorite knitted cardigans, for a cozy winter look, to help you create a layered outfit. Cardigans are actually one of the most versatile types of knitwear, because fine knitted cardigans can be used for layering, and chunky knitted cardigans can be used as outerwear instead of your coat.

If you're afraid to look more bulky, wear a belt with your knitted cardigan, and define your waist.

Also, consider the proportions of your outfit, for example, if you're wearing a chunky knit, make sure to balance it out with slim-fitted pants. Another thing you could do, is to pair long knitted cardigans, with bottoms with a short hem, like pencil skirts or shorts, to avoid looking frumpy. Don't be afraid to go for patterned knitted cardigans, in fact they're very trendy this winter, but make sure to team them with solid colors.

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Woman Voice 33

Why Do High Heels Make Women More Attractive?

High heels are fashionable, but uncomfortable, and can even lead to chronic foot damage. It doesn›t make sense to favor footwear which harm and hurt feet, plus render it difficult to run from ancient and modern predators. But if wearing high heels makes women more attractive, allowing them to be more choosy over a larger number of higher quality males competing for their attention, this could explain the evolutionary advantages of this fashion statement.

What›s chic, what›s in and what›s out, should be predicted by evolutionary theory. Otherwise it will be judged by history as just a passing phase.

Eventually as outmoded as shoulder pads from the 1980s. Psychologists Paul Morris, Jenny White, Edward Morrison and Kayleigh Fisher from the University of Portsmouth, in the UK, have recently proposed a novel evolutionary theory about why women favor high heels.

As women normally walk differently from men, high heels may help exaggerate the particularly feminine aspects of gait. What these shoes do is make women walk even more like women.

Male gait involves greater velocity, longer stride length and slower rate.

There are also differences in side swing. Men present more movement of the head and greater upper body side sway, whereas women display increased hip movement.Gait is studied using point-light displays representing the body as a series of markers placed on key landmarks on limbs. In these experiments, the perceiver is presented with a pattern of dots on a screen. Because all they are seeing are dots moving, any impact on preferences or attractiveness has to be something to do with movement patterns, and not static physical appearance.

Perceivers are remarkably good at making sense of the patterns of movement of point-light display dots, and are able to distinguish between male and female gait. Just looking at moving dots representing movement of the whole body, it’s possible reliably to allocate the walker as male or female.

In their recent study, entitled “High heels as supernormal stimuli: How wearing high heels affects judgements of female attractiveness” the psychologists compared ratings of women walking in flat shoes, with the same women walking in high heels, in order to establish whether or not walking in high heels enhances the attractiveness of gait. Thirty second video clips of the point-light displays of walkers in high heels and flat shoes were presented on a standard computer monitor.

The study, published in the academic journal Evolution and Human Behavior found that for all walkers attractiveness was much higher in heels compared with the flat shoes condition. Both males and females judged high heels to be more attractive than flat shoes. Males and females also agreed which were the attractive and unattractive walkers.

The authors of the study conclude that high heels are an important part of the contemporary female wardrobe -- the minimum number of high heeled shoes owned by those taking part in the experiment was four, and the maximum 25. The results indicate that the female walk is perceived as much more attractive when wearing high heels than not. One, conscious or unconscious, motivation for women to wear high heels might therefore be to increase their attractiveness.

The effect seems highly consistent for each individual walker (i.e. all walkers were judged to be more attractive in the heels condition). The biomechanical results are also consistent with the theory that wearing high heels makes women look more attractive by making them more feminine, as the effect of heels was to exaggerate some sex-specific elements of female gait including: greater pelvic rotation, increased vertical motion at the hip, shorter strides and higher number of steps per minute.

Female baboons with a larger than normal swelling of the bottom associated with the sexually receptive period of their cycle, arouse greater sexual interest in males. High heels similarly exaggerate the sex-specific aspects of the female walk which could cause sexual arousal in males. -- Dr. Raj Persaud and Adrian Furnham.

High heels similarly exaggerate the sex-specific aspects of the female walk which could cause sexual arousal in males. The normal stimulus of a woman walking is exaggerated by the wearing of high heels, producing a supernormal stimulus.

But there have been numerous fashions that have not been congruent with an evolutionary model. For example, female shoulder pads in the 1980s emphasized a particularly male aspect of the body. Flapper dresses in the 1920s didn't emphasize the female figure, the authors of this study point out.

Fashions by their very nature are ephemeral, but trends that endure (such as high heels for females) emphasize sex-specific aspects of the body. Other styles, such as shoulder pads, will reoccur infrequently over time, as they are poorly matched with our biology. So predicts evolutionary psychology. But genes, biology and evolution are not the only accounts of our preferences.

Maybe as the 1980s saw Britain's first female Prime Minister and the rise of women to positions of power, female fashion 'aped' men by shouting status and power to blend into the boardroom. As women took charge, they had to become 'masculine' in dress and appearance. Broad shoulders = alpha male = power and status.

'Workwear' for women still mimics male apparel like somber trouser suits. But this should also be a transient fashion if more women achieve high status roles.

Then they won't need to 'ape' men any more.

The authors of this new study contend that high heels appear to act in a similar way to what is referred to in evolutionary theory as a "super releaser." For example, some birds prefer large artificial eggs that they cannot even sit on, to their own normal size eggs.

Female baboons with a larger than normal swelling of the bottom associated with the sexually receptive period of their cycle, arouse greater sexual interest in males.

Woman Voice 35

VICTORIA’S SECRET MAKES ITS DEBUT IN EGYPT THIS JANUARY

Cairo, Egypt, 24th December, 2014 – Victoria’s Secret (VS), the most glamorous lingerie brand in the world, made famous on the runway by supermodels like Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio and Candice Swanepoel, will open its first full assortment stores in Cairo, Egypt at City Stars on 17th January, 2015 and Cairo Festival City on 31st January, 2015.

The stores will feature a wide assortment of the beautiful and feminine lingerie collections that Victoria’s Secret is known for.

The full lines of popular fragrances such as Victoria’s Secret Bombshell, Dream Angels, Heavenly and Victoria’sSecret Angel will be available along with VS Fantasies body care. The Cairo Festival City store will also feature Victoria’s Secret PINK — a collegiate-inspired collection of playful and colorful lingerie and lounge wear targeting university-aged women.

Woman Voice 37

love&relationships

Why Settling For ‘Good Enough’ Will Never Make You Happy Have you ever met that encryption of the perfect person? The status quo embedded in our minds of with whom to fall madly in love and have as a life partner. On paper, this person is the depiction of what we want. Yet, deep down, you know there is a missing link. It can be a confusing scenario to outsiders and, sadly enough, sometimes even ourselves.

This is a person who would be an ideal candidate to bring home to the family, but for some reason, you can’t pinpoint why you wouldn’t want to settle down with him or her. Criticism comes from friends and family in all forms.Your family and friends tell you your standards are too high, looks aren’t everything, no such thing as perfect, time is ticking… blah, blah, blah The twisted thing is you can’t pinpoint the specifics, or maybe you can, but they sound absolutely obnoxious to outsiders, who see you as a dreamer or an idealist.

Then, you wonder for an instant if maybe your standards are too high, or maybe, you’re looking for perfection that doesn’t exist. But, deep down, you know there is a missing link.

You may not be able to put your finger on it because you know this person seems ideal, but he or she doesn’t grab you or touch those special little triggers we all have. Those triggers bring out the best and, possibly, the worst in us at times. Those triggers help Those triggers help us figure out exactly who we are and what we are capable of; those triggers help us analyze ourselves from the inside and link us to our past moments, tucked deep down in our subconscious.

When there isn’t a missing link, the person is able to move us, stimulate us and possibly, heal us, grow with us or break down barriers within us.This person finds very unique ways to challenge us, is capable of stimulating us, both mentally and physically, and finds ways to shake us from the inside.What looks good on paper is our perception of security and that perception encourages us to settle with this illusion of safety.

Or, you know your self-worth and settling just to have somebody is not the standard you set for yourself. Relationships are more special than a list of qualifications.

It’s not a job interview; it’s an intimate relationship.

The real necessity of an intimate relationship is to have someone who has those qualities, but can also spark you. Those sparks are your hidden triggers and only certain people are capable of doing this. These are characteristics that fuel you, move you and draw you in. If your person looks good on paper, but you intuitively know something is missing, well, then you are simply settling. I know I am a dreamer and a perfectionist; there is no changing that side of me. So, I know I can’t settle for less than what I want. I also know there is a perfect relationship, but perfect does not mean easy.

What I mean by perfect is someone who will stimulate, challenge, love, argue, heal and help you grow.

Perfection is out there, but it is not always obvious.

An ideal relationship entails someone who is capable of taking a journey with you through the good and the bad. There is no happy ending because, well, there is no ending.

Attributes that may look good on paper may not be the attributes that will expand you and grow you down the road. An ideal relationship may feel safe, and even unsafe at times, but those times when the feeling of security isn’t prominent, chances are, triggers aren’t igniting. Growth will get you out of your comfort zone where the majority of people don’t like to go, but a relationship without stimulation will wither quickly. What once felt like security may lead to pure mediocrity. Don’t feel ashamed if you don’t settle for someone when you know he or she can’t put a fire in you. Relationships are meant to change us, shape us and grow us, but never confine us.

Woman Voice 39

8 Reasons Why You Should Marry The Complicated Girl

I am not simple. I am a challenge for any man, I will admit. As hard as I try to be the simple girl, it is just not in my nature to be one. I demand more from everyone because I see great potential.

I only want the best for myself and for my partner, so I will never just go along with some semblance of a mediocre, passionless relationship.

An unevolved man or a boy will always want the simple girl. He doesn’t want to have to work hard for anything, especially not a relationship. He doesn’t want to be challenged or confronted.

“Why wasn’t it me?” Carrie asked the love of her life right before he married another woman. “No, seriously. I really need to hear you say it. Come on, be a friend.”

“I don’t know. It just got so hard… and she’s…” replied Mr. Big. “Yeah.”

I know it’s cliché to quote “Sex and the City,” but it’s still so relevant.

This episode revealed to girls like me what we’ve subconsciously known for a long time: We are the type of girls you should be with, but you don’t want to be with.

Mr. Big was probably going to finish that statement with “easy.” Natasha, his soon-to-be wife, is easy — as in, she just goes with the flow.

She doesn’t get angry or challenge him to be better.

Woman Voice 40

She nods and laughs and is always comfortable. She’s sweet and goodnatured and lets him do whatever he wants.

Carrie is complicated. She doesn’t put up with not getting everything she deserves. She craves more from Big. She has opinions and a life and dreams for the two of them together. She sometimes argues with him at inopportune times because she’s passionate and emotional, and she cares.

But, a real man knows that by being with a complicated girl, he will be better for it. At times, this girl can be difficult, but he knows her intentions are good. With healthy communication, the relationship will become stronger.

This is the type of girl you should marry. You may think it’s not what you want, but you want her. The easy girl will never satisfy you. She will be sweet but uninspiring. She will always leave you wanting more.

Even stubborn Mr. Big came to realize he didn’t want it easy, and he ended up cheating on Natasha… with Carrie.

complicated girls are creative and, at times, emotional. She may also have a touch of what some people call “crazy” or “bitchy.” But, no one will love you better. No one will make love to you with as much passion.

No one will encourage you to follow your dreams. You will have many deep conversations with her that make you question your beliefs and ideas. She will outsmart you on many occasions. It won’t always be easy, but it will be more satisfying and always entertaining.

A simple girl has a simple mind.

Things won’t be so hard when you are with this girl; it will be calm seas and smooth sailing. This is the type of girl you probably imagine yourself marrying, not the one who is opinionated and smart, who doesn’t always agree. But, if you want to be the best you can be and expand your mind and capabilities, marry the complicated girl.

Marry the girl who tells you exactly what she expects and follows through.

Marry the girl who demands your respect.

Marry the girl who can talk politics, even if her opinions are different from yours.

Marry the girl whose eyes flicker with passion about a number of different subjects.

Marry the girl who won’t let you get away with slacking on your talents.

Marry the girl who pushes you to be better every day.

Marry the girl with whom you sometimes fight.

Marry the girl who is your equal or greater.

My dad always says the thing that attracted him most to my mom was the fact that she was smarter than him. Only a real man can say that and know it’s good for him.

Don’t get me wrong; a complicated girl who is not yet mature will be a pain in the ass. She will pick fights with you about everything, and you will always feel like a failure in her presence because you won’t know how to make her happy.

But, with a little experience and wisdom, this is the girl who will become wife material. And, once she’s at that point, you better never let her get away, or you’ll risk losing the best thing you ever had.

Not that Natasha doesn’t care.

But, she is a basic girl who wants to keep the peace at any cost, even if that means she put her needs aside. Her mind isn’t quite as analytical and imaginative as Carrie’s, so she can put up with more. She’s simple.

Woman Voice 41

Marilyn Monroe’s mistake: it’s a 10 year itch Couples who make it beyond seven years of marriage may think they can look forward to a future of marital bliss, but research estimates it is after 10 years that spouses should be most worried about their relationships. it is the theory immortalised by one of Marilyn Monroe’s most memorable performances – that happiness among married couples begins to decline after seven years.

However, rather than The Seven Year Itch referenced in Monroe’s 1955 romantic comedy, a study suggests that it is after 10 years that spouses should be worried about their relationship.

The research, which examined more than 2,000 women over 35 years, found that in most marriages, happiness and communication between partners decline from the start and never get any better.

However, the study claims, it is after 10 years that the problems are at their worst.

The reason for the decline, researchers suggest, could be because women become dissatisfied with having to bear the brunt of household chores as well as child care. But if couples are able to see their troubles through for another five years, things do get better. After 15 years of marriage the level of conflict drops off, reaching its lowest point when a couple have been together for 35 years, the study found.

Woman Voice 42

The research, conducted at Brigham Young University in the US, was based on interview data collected from 2,604 women born between 1957 and 1964.

"Conflict increases over the first decade of marriage, perhaps due to unresolved, and potentially unresolvable, issues in the marriage, as people marry and subsequently realise the difficulties that come along with long term commitment,” said Dr Spencer James who led the study.

He added: “The same issues, for many couples, recur frequently in marriage before the couple either resolves the issue or decides to abandon it. This pattern may require a great deal of time before the hurt feelings are fully discharged.”

The research showed that in 66 per cent of marriages, happiness started at high levels but declined throughout married life.For around a third of couples, things did start to improve after three decades, but happiness never returned to honeymoon levels.

“It is likely that gendered norms around housework and other tasks persist into later marital durations, perhaps reshaping and metamorphosing instead of dissipating with the exit of children,’’ said the report in the Social Science Research journal.

A Wake Up Call Me: Mum I miss you! I feel so lonely without you guys around me.

Mum: It was your decision to go take a job in Dubai.

Remember?

Me: Is that the way you’re going to answer me saying I miss you? Great!

Mum: Of course not, I’m just a bit cranky today. We miss you too, the house has been really empty without you.

Me: I really feel like coming back.

Mum: No Luci, you should learn to stick to your decisions. As much as I want you to come back, but it’s not the right thing to do.You’re about to start your new job soon.

A moment of silence from my side. I realized she was right. I was acting like a spoiled brat, but what could I do, I really missed them. Things haven’t been easy on me, I’m all by myself, I barely made any friends over here.

It sucks! And to top that off, the only guy I was getting close to was very much into my best friend, and I gave him my blessing to start going out on dates with her.

I’m not hating on Dina or anything, she’s like the sister I never had, but deep down, it just feels terrible.

Mum: Are you still there?

Me:Yes, I am. Was just thinking a bit.

Mum: Tell me, what’s happening with you?

I quickly gave her the full story of what went on with Joey. Usually I don’t like to share much with my mum when it comes to men, because she manages to find a way to blame any failure on me. She always points out in a way or another that it’s my fault I’m not committed to anyone till now, and starts putting pressure on me that the clock is ticking and I should have found the right one by now. But this time it was different. She didn’t voice out her opinion that way at all.

Mum: It’s all for the best honey. Trust me on that.

Me:Yeah, that’s what I keep telling myself. But you know mum, it’s really hard. I’m not just talking about Joey here and the fact that things are already turning awkward between us or that I’m afraid it will get between me and Dina, but there’s also Amr and Billy. It doesn’t seem like it’s working with anyone and I don’t even know why.

Woman Voice 44

Mum: Don’t overthink things Luci, it’s for the best. Just have faith in God that the right one will find his way to you at the right time.

Me:You think?

Mum: Of course. I’m sure! Which reminds me, I wasn’t going to bring it up, but I think it’s your right to know that.

Me: What?

Mum: I ran into Amr the other day at the supermarket. At first, I pretended like I didn’t see him, but he came up to me and started talking, so I couldn’t ignore him.

Me: Hahaha mum you’re so cute. I would like to see you act childish around someone. Oh yeah, you do that with dad’s sister, I forgot that.

Mum: Let me continue my story, your aunt is another issue which we’ll get to shortly. She’s been driving me nuts. Anyway, he started off by asking how we were and then focused mainly on you. He kept on trying to know how you’re doing, if you’re happy where you are and I didn’t give him any straight answers.

Me: Appreciate it.

Mum: Then he started getting a bit emotional and opened up. He asked me whether we could go somewhere and sit because he owed you an explanation and you wouldn’t take his calls nor reply to any of his texts.

I refused of course, but he continued speaking up his mind as I did my shopping.

Me: What did he tell you?

Mum: Nothing that made much sense to me. It’s so typical that you only know the value of something when you’re trying to get it or actually lose it.

Me: Are you referring to me as something?

Mum: Someone’s PMSing, I can tell hehehe My mum continued by telling me that Amr asked her several times to let me know how sorry he was about the way he treated me, and that I did indeed mean the world to him. He wasn’t thinking straight at the time and followed what his mother told him blindly, but when I walked out of his life and went on with mine he realized how wrong he was.

Woman Voice 45

Me: Why are you telling me this? What should I do about it?

Mum: I wasn’t going to, but the only reason I did was because you were blaming yourself, which is a mistake.

Me: No I wasn’t.

Mum:Yes you were, I know you better than anyone.

Me: Wouldn’t you?

Mum: Let me tell you another story, this time related to me. A year after I met your father…

Me: In 1900?

Mum: Hahaha sick sense of humor! A year before I met your father I was madly in love with another guy, it was the crazy kind of love, he was very energetic and it was quite an interesting relationship.

Do you Know What Women Want? “ It’s very important for a woman to have a nice home for her family. Other women prefer career than family but it all depends on the personality. For me, my family is my major concern.”

Aida El Ayoubi – Singer

A moment of silence.

“for that question I don’t have an answer, but I think the willingness to get over the daily problems and trouble, that keeps the relation alive between the man and the woman. And of course there must be love and respect.”

Khaled Abdallah – Actor & Director

Me: Is that the end of the story?

Mum: No, I was drinking my tea. Anyway, he was never really planning on taking things to the next step, always promising to meet my parents but he didn’t act on it. I decided one day I had enough and walked away.

He didn’t do much to fight it, but nine months later he almost said the same things as Amr. I made a mistake and believed him, and even though he promised to change, after a while he went back to his old self who promises but never delivers. That made me realize one thing, there’s a reason I walked away in the first place and that reason was not my fault, because at some point I started blaming myself. Once I made up my mind one last time and it was the final decision, I started dropping the negative energy and I was ready to explore much better options; the man who hasn’t left my side ever since, your dad.

Me: That’s true!

My conversation with my mother really calmed me and at that moment, I felt like everything was falling into place just the way it should be. Faith is one of the most important things one should hold on to. Faith that God has a bigger plan for you than just a bunch of losers, and when you feel lost, keep on reminding yourself that things will only get better from there, or you could just give your mum a call. It sometimes works too!

I’ll leave you with one last thought: don’t keep running back to the one person (or in my case people) that you need to walk away from. The minute you walk away you’ll become the “best they’ve ever had.” Don’t fall for that, it’s temporary! You didn’t walk away so they’d realize your importance, but for YOU to understand and acknowledge your own self worth.

Woman Voice 46

“Security, happiness, success and accomplishment in what she does be it her home, work or life.”

Menna Shalaby – Actress

“Money, pretty dresses, makeup, traveling.

In the end, all women are the same. Same jealousy, same nagging and so on. I am a macho I must admit.”

Sherif Mounir – Actor

Woman Voice 47