MFDA Bulletin - Summer 2019

2019

MFDA District 4/5 & 8 Meeting

Wednesday, September 11 Little Crow Country Club

Spicer

MFDA District 6/7 Meeting

Thursday, September 12 Marriott Minneapolis NE Minneapolis

MFDA District 9 & 10 Meeting

Tueday, September 17 Shooting Star Casino Mahnomen

MFDA District 11 Meeting

Wednesday, September 18

OCTOBER

MFDA District 3 Meeting

Tuesday, October 15

Key Largo Slayton

MFDA District 2 Meeting

Wednesday, October 16 Loose Moose Saloon Mankato

MFDA District 1 Meeting

Thursday, October 17

Rochester Event Center Rochester

2:00-3:00

p.m. (1 CEU) OSHA Training

3:00-6:00 p.m. (3 CEUs)

• Funeral Directors Life

• Federated Insurance

• Children’s Grief Connection

• Minnesota Department of Health

• MN State Representative for the district

• Joe Sellwood, Cook-Girard (lobbyist)

• Minnesota Funeral Directors Association

6:15 p.m.

Dinner or Hors’ Doerves depending on location

If planning to attend, please RSVP online at www.mnfuneral.org or call 763-416-0124.

BULLETIN PUBLISHED QUARTERLY FOR MINNESOTA FUNERAL DIRECTORS ASSOCIATION MEMBERS MFDA Bulletin Minnesota Funeral Directors Association 7046 East Fish Lake Road Maple Grove, MN 55311 Change Service Requested SUMMER 2019 Save the Date! 130th Annual MFDA Convention May 27-29, 2020 | Mystic Lake Center, Prior Lake Note: Individual District Dues will remain the same as last year and will be collected at each meeting. 2019 MEETING AGENDA

MFDA BOARD OF DIRECTORS

President

Chris Jacobson

Fredrikson-Ganje Funeral Home Ada, MN chris.jacobson@tlcofduluth.com

Treasurer

Kelly J. Kelly

Ranfranz and Vine Funeral Homes Kasson, MN kjkell0803@yahoo.com

DISTRICT DIRECTORS

Joe Mahn (District 1)

Mahn Family Funeral and Cremation Services, Red Wing, MN jmahn62@hotmail.com

Tonya D. Borth (District 2)

Kolden Funeral Home Le Sueur, MN tonya_04@hotmail.com

Marquis Madison (District 3)

Totzke Funeral Home Fulda, MN totzke@mchsi.com

Lance Peterson (District 4/5)

Peterson Brothers Funeral Home and Cremation Service Willmar, MN lance@petersonbrothers.com

Scott Benson (District 6 & 7) Gearty-Delmore Funeral Chapel, Inc. Robbinsdale, MN sbenson@delmore.com

Brian Dingmann (District 8) Dingmann Funeral Care Annandale, MN brian@dingmannfuneral.com

Andrew Yaggie (District 9) Glende-Nilson Funeral Home & Cremation Services, Fegus Falls, MN andrew@glendenilson.com

Tim Anderson(District 10) Anderson Funeral Home Twin Valley, MN timanderson@arvig.net

David Huso (District 11) Rowe Funeral Home Grand Rapids, MN husodavid@yahoo.com

Secretary

Brian Dingmann

Dingmann Funeral Care Burial & Cremation Services, Annandale, MN brian@dingmannfuneral.com

Past President

Dan Dahl

Dahl Funeral Home East Grand Forks, MN dan.dahl@midconetwork.com

POLICY BOARD REPRESENTATIVE

Pat Patton, CFSP Patton-Schad Funeral Home Sauk Centre, MN ppatton@pattonschad.com

PAST PRESIDENT REP

Ken Peterson, CFSP Johnson-Peterson Funeral Home White Bear Lake, MN petersonkb@gmail.com

STAFF

Darlyne Erickson, CAE Executive Director 763-416-0124

612-940-8169 (cell) info@mnfuneral.org

Amy Beckham (Administrative) amy@mnfuneral.org

Sue Sack (Accounting) sue@mnfuneral.org

Kathy Sheridan (Membership/Convention) kathy@mnfuneral.org

Miki Tufto (Communications/Convention) mtufto@mnfuneral.org

7046 East Fish Lake Road Maple Grove, MN 55311

p: (763) 416-0124 • f: (763) 416-0124 e: info@mnfuneral.org www.mnfuneral.org

October 9-10

MFDA Preneed Insurance Class

Crowne Plaza Minneapolis West, Plymouth

October 15

MFDA District 3 Meeting

Key Largo, Slayton

October 16

MFDA District 2 Meeting Loose Moose Saloon, Mankato

October 17

MFDA District 1 Meeting

Rochester Event Center, Rochester

October 27-30

NFDA International Convention & Expo Chicago, IL

Who We Are: Minnesota Funeral Director’s Association (MFDA) is the statewide resource dedicated to supporting our member’s growth professionally, ethically, and operationally.

What Is Our Mission: Our mission is to enhance and support funeral service excellence through our programs, legislative representation and service to Minnesotans.

How We Accomplish This:

• Essential and enduring principles that guide our organization’s behaviors and actions

• Advancing the value of funeral service consistent with the changing needs of society

• Advocacy on behalf of consumers and members

• Visionary leadership trust and confidence in staff and volunteer leadership

• Promotion of integrity; honest and ethical behavior within the funeral industry

• Collaboration with others in the interest of consumers and members

• Recognize the importance of education as a vehicle to enhance both public service and public image

From the President

By Chris Jacobson, MFDA President

Summer is here! Will it last long? Let’s hope so.

Thanks to each of you for attending this year’s MFDA Convention at the Rochester/ Mayo Civic Center. It is an honor to serve as 2019-2020 Minnesota Funeral Directors Association President and to greet so many of you. I know your lives are busy, and your attendance means a great deal to our organization and to me personally. This year’s convention was full of exciting learning opportunities. On Monday, the Mayo Clinic Anatomy Lab, LifeSource, and Dodge created a valuable experience for more than 70 individuals. Convention title sponsors included Funeral Directors Life, MFDA Service Corp, ELCO Mutual Life and Annuity, and Wieser Vault/ MAS Communications/Willmar Precast Company. THANK YOU! We couldn’t have done it without you.

If you were able to attend my induction as MFDA’s President, you heard me stress the importance of mentorship. It is no secret there is a shortage of funeral directors, especially in rural communities.

As a member of MFDA, I have had the opportunity to discuss with members of NFDA, the Leadership Academy, and other colleagues this acute shortage. The common solution presented by all was investment in others through mentorship. I strongly believe that it is our task, as professionals already in the field, to find those young adults in our communities with a vision for funeral care and come alongside them. Build relationships with your local high school and college kids to show them the positive impact funeral directors can have in their community. Offer to mentor them, offer them support, and be a positive influence in their lives. Encourage them to look into service industries. Inform them about the MFDA Leadership Academy. The Academy is a wonderful tool to help emerging professionals improve their leadership skills and become more confident. Perhaps your district or you, as a funeral home operator, could sponsor them to

attend the Academy. It is such a small financial investment that could result in a huge gain for your community.

On a personal level, I know that without the individuals who mentored me when choosing a career, I wouldn’t have been successful in choosing to become a funeral director.

Mentorship certainly includes helping those who are serving as funeral directors today. We have one of the most rewarding, yet difficult, professions in the workforce. Be the person that takes the time to help young professionals who are new to the profession so that they remain enthused and, when stressed, find healthy outlets. Your support can be life-changing. Have a wonderful year serving those around you.

Sincerely,

Chris Jacobson

MFDA President 2019-2020

I strongly believe that it is our task, as professionals already in the field, to find those young adults in our communities with a vision for funeral care and come alongside them.

Executive Director’s Report

By Darlyne Erickson. CAE

Congratulations and thank you to Sandra Schroeder of the Mayer Funeral Home in Austin. She read through my last article and texted me the name of her funeral home. I will now be travelling to Austin at some point this summer to treat she and the staff at Mayer to lunch. Sandra is a fairly new licensed director and said she read everything she could get her hands with regard to funeral service. Now that is the kind of enthusiasm, we need to see in everyone! I’m guessing if I had said “happy hour,” I would have received more texts! ;-)

Thank you to all who were able to attend our 129th Annual Convention in Rochester, a first for MFDA in its many years. Attendance remained pretty much the same as years past, averaging around 200 attendees and 50 exhibiting companies. The Mayo Clinic provided a unique opportunity to work with their Anatomy Bequest Dept., Dodge Company and LifeSource. The Monday Lab Sessions were a success and created a lot of discussion. Approximately 70 attended at each of the sessions. We try each year to make things a little different and offer unique opportunities

for education. I applaud Miki Tufto and the Convention Committee for doing a fantastic job. We are working on the 2020 convention line-up and the 2021 location. You can never argue that we let grass grow under our feet! Post-convention we allow ourselves to breath a little bit and then start planning for the fall line-up which includes more educational opportunities. Check out the calendar on the third page of this Bulletin for details.

Don’t miss the Celebrant Certification with Glenda Stansbury and Insight Training, September 24-26 at Crowne Plaza Minneapolis West. This is a trend that is not going away. Take advantage of having Glenda in Minnesota. You will not regret it.

District Meetings – We tried something different last year and the new schedule worked better in some parts of the state than others. I’m all for making things as accessible as possible, so this year we will do what worked best for each of the areas. We also want to consider the many presenters that take time out of their schedules to travel the state during these meetings. Look for a postcard in the

mail with all details, plus the website and emails that will be delivered.

Preneed Insurance Course, October 9-10 at the Crowne Plaza Minneapolis West in Plymouth. I believe we have been offering this class continually for the past 9 years, and it has gained tremendous traction. Obviously, something that people look forward to. I encourage you to send all appropriate staff.

And last but not least, a big thank you to YOUR Board of Directors. I look forward to working with President Chris Jacobson and the rest of the Board. Chris stepped up several years ago when District 11 had no representation and after a few years he again volunteered and stepped up as Secretary on the Executive Committee. He has grown, not only as a funeral director, but as a leader as well.

In addition, I want to thank you Ashley Czaplewski, our newest “Past President”. She did a tremendous job at a time that was not easy. I personally want to thank and congratulate her on a job well done! P.S. By the time you read this, she will be a mama of two!

You can never argue that we let grass grow under our feet! Post-convention we allow ourselves to breath a little bit and then start planning for the fall line-up which includes more educational opportunities.

Thank you to all who were able to attend our 129th Annual Convention in Rochester, a first for MFDA in its many years.

Legislative Update

By Joe Sellwood, Cook Girard Associates

The 2019 Minnesota regular and special legislative sessions have adjourned, with passage of the state’s biennial budget the primary accomplishment. For your information, below is information about issues of direct concern to MFDA and attached is a general session summary, along with more detailed reports on tax and employment issues that may be of interest to MFDA members.

Reciprocal licensing requirements

Lang (R-Olivia), but with the legislators’ focus on constructing the state’s budget, and with no mortuary science policy included in the Department of Health’s policy bill, this did not move forward. The bill is alive for consideration in the 2020 session and we will work on the issue over the interim.

Casket and urn sale license exception clarified

with workforce shortages across many different sectors. The bill as drafted raises concerns, though some in the funeral industry do feel that more drastic changes need to be made to requirements on the workforce. The bill did not move but is also alive for possible consideration in 2020.

Emergency medical technicians authorized to remove and transport dead human bodies

Advertiser

Attention

Address

Phone

Fax

MFDA members had identified issues for the 2019 legislative session, resulting in work last summer and fall to reach consensus on a reciprocal licensing bill. Current reciprocal licensing for funeral directors requires those who’ve practiced in another state to meet Minnesota’s in-state licensing standards. While this seems “fair” to some – it does not take into account the varying requirements in different states. In particular, Minnesota’s requirement for a four-year degree creates workforce shortages when individuals from states without this requirement are unable to move to Minnesota and work as a funeral director. MFDA worked to craft a reciprocal licensing bill that takes into account years in practice and adds additional requirements to ensure that the high standard of the Minnesota license is upheld.

MAS Communications

Mary Reeves

465 Poplar St. Mankato, MN 56001

507-387-6543

507-345-3816

The Institute for Justice introduced a bill relating to funeral service. that clarified current statutes so caskets and urns do not have to be sold through a licensed funeral director. While this is already in law, clarification on who can sell caskets and urns was welcomed by legislators. MFDA took a neutral position on the proposal, though it did not move this year.

Sign & Return Proof To:

Introduced near the end of session, this bill would permit EMTs to take charge and transport a dead human body. The bill’s author, Rep. John Huot (DFLRosemount) asked that MFDA provide feedback on the proposal prior to the 2020 legislative session.

2019 Minnesota Funeral Directors Association Membership Directory

1107 Hazeltine Blvd, Suite #350 • Chaska, MN 55318

Looking Forward

Fax: 1-952-448-9928 / Phone: 1-800-572-0011

Please respond within 5 business days

By

Nonlicensed personnel practicing mortuary science changes

marypreeves@mascommunications.net

1/4 Page

The bill was introduced by Rep. John Huot (DFL-Rosemount) and Sen. Andrew

Another bill from the Institute for Justice would change the permitted duties of a nonlicensed individuals, allowing them to arrange, direct, and supervise a funeral, memorial, or graveside services. Additionally, the bill would allow the individual to be supervised by a licensee either in person or via phone. The bill has some bipartisan support in both the House and Senate as public policy trends away from occupational licensure

The Department of Health’s Mortuary Science Section is planning to have a policy bill that makes changes to 149A. The Ad Hoc committee continues to meet and MFDA should have an opportunity to weigh in on these changes prior to next session. The MFDA Legislative Committee and Board will need to gather input and discuss strategies for moving forward, both on offense to promote legislation, and in defense of our positions when proposals could negatively impact the license and industry.

Certified Funeral Celebrant Training Offered in the Twin Cities

An InSight Certified Celebrant is a person who has been trained and certified by InSight to meet the needs of families during their time of loss. A funeral Celebrant serves by providing a funeral service, memorial service, or tribute that is personalized and individualized to reflect the personality and life-style of the deceased after consultation with the family and loved ones and coordination with the funeral home.

To learn more about Certified Celebrant Training, visit www.insightbooks.com/celebrants

You’re invited to join a Certified Celebrant Training on September 24-26, 2019, provided by MFDA (Minnesota Funeral Directors Association).

Registration Fees

MFDA Member

$900 ($850 each for 3 or more from one firm)

Non-Member

$950 Student

$500 (limit five)

Register online at www.mnfuneral.org or call our office at 763-416-0124

Seminar & Hotel Location

Crowne Plaza Minneapolis West 3131 Campus Dr Plymouth MN 55441 1-877 2 CROWNE

Hotel reservations: www.book.passkey.com/e/49852503

$103 / night

Schedule

Day 1 3:00 – 9:00 p.m. / Dinner provided

Day 2 8:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. / Continental breakfast and lunch provided. Dinner on your own. You will have homework!

Day 3 8:00 a.m. – Noon / Continental breakfast provided

What to Bring

We will provide a notebook and other materials. If you have a laptop computer, it is recommended (but not required) that you bring it for the funeral presentation work. We will have a printer available.

The dress is business casual. This is an active, participant-driven training. We want you to be comfortable and ready to be a part.

CE Information for Funeral Directors

The Academy of Professional Funeral Service Practice: 17 hrs of attendance hours

State Funeral Service Board approval: Approved hours vary by state, contact Glenda Stansbury for more information, glenda@insightbooks.com

For More Information…

If you have any questions about this training opportunity, contact MFDA: Darlyne Erickson info@mnfuneral.org

If you have questions about Celebrants in general, contact: Glenda Stansbury at InSight Books, Inc., glenda@insightbooks.com, 800.658.9262 or 405.810.9501.

Emergency Cell Phone Number during week of training only: Glenda Stansbury 405.550.7854

Dear Colleagues,

U of M Mortuary Science Update

By Michael LuBrant, Program Director

Please join me in welcoming Lynne Harper to our Program as a new part-time student adviser and office assistant. Of special note, Lynne is quite familiar with the work we do in our profession, as her dad was a funeral director! We are very excited to have her join our team, and we look forward to holding a welcome reception when classes resume this Fall.

Moving forward, Ashley Mishek will continue to work for us at 80% time, with her typical work days MondayThursday. Lynne will typically be here on Fridays, but she will be working extra days over the summer when Ashley is out of the office on maternity leave (likely starting in late June). Lynne and Ashley will share the same office space, located in A-275-3 Mayo Building. Likewise, she and Ashley share the same telephone number and e-mail address: 612-624-6464 / e-mail “mortsci@umn.edu”

As always, please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions you may have.

Sincerely,

Michael LuBrant

Here’s a short message of introduction from Lynne:

I am very pleased to be joining the Program of Mortuary Science team! I appreciate the warm welcome I have received so far and look forward to meeting all of you. Although I now call the Midwest home, I grew up in Southern California where my father was a Funeral Director. For many years I provided service to stockholders and customers of a small utility in Madison Wisconsin and more recently completed graduate studies in Non-Western Art and Material Culture, working with museums in Milwaukee. Moving to The Cities to be closer to family, I am excited to dig into my role as the Program Assistant for the Program of Mortuary Science and to explore this great area of the Midwest.

Lynne

Pat Patton is Alumnus of the Year

Congratulations Pat Patton for being recognized as the 2019 Alumnus of the Year for the University of Minnesota Program of Mortuary Science.

(L to R): Pat and Sue Patton with alumnus and U of M Minnesota Regent

Tom Anderson

MFDA DISTRICT 10

13TH ANNUAL MORTUARY OPEN /

2019

MFDA’s District 10 invites all funeral directors, staff, family members, and vendors to join them at 1:00 p.m. Thursday, July 25, 2019 at Valley Golf Course, East Grand Forks, Minnesota for an afternoon of golf and fun. Many door prizes will be given away.

THURSDAY JULY 25

THE DETAILS

Light Lunch

Sponsored by North Valley Crematory at Noon.

Golf: 1:00 p.m.

18 holes Shotgun start and Scramble format. (Ladies will golf with ladies if requested.)

Supper: Free Prime Rib, potato, coleslaw and cash bar to follow, partially Sponsored by Mathews / Aurora Casket Company (Scott Nelson) and Funeral Directors Life (Scott Tufto, John Harrington, and Todd Carlson). Dinner prepared Rick Cushman and Torry Reutter of Cooperstown, ND.

VALLEY GOLF COURSE

2047 River Rd NW East Grand Forks, MN

Golfing fees: $50.00 per person

18 holes of scramble golf, includes golf cart, and prime rib dinner - Payable to Valley Golf Course the day of.

There will be a refreshment cart on-site sponsored by National Guardian Life Insurance (Denis Nordlum) and lots of door prizes.

RSVP

Please RSVP to Dahl Funeral Home if possible, by calling 218-773-2971 or via e-mail to dan.dahl@midconetwork.com.

LifeSource Update

We at LifeSource, have immense gratitude for the opportunity to join so many funeral directors at this year’s convention with our presentation with Dodge on donation, embalming, reconstruction and meeting the needs of the families we jointly serve. The challenges of embalming an organ, eye, and tissue donor are something that we are exceptionally aware of and are thankful for the opportunity to connect with such a large audience of licensed funeral directors to share in learning opportunities of this process. Audience participation was welcomed, and for us, this was one of the best parts in hearing differing techniques. We feel that this was tremendous asset to all in attendance.

Dana Deutsch, Melinda DeVries, and I (all of LifeSource) concentrated the first part of the day on all types of donation from the initial call of death to what happens when the donor comes into your care. We reviewed the background processes that allow donation to occur including but not limited to: family authorization, timing, regulatory agencies that LifeSource works with, recovery of the gifts, how the gifts are utilized in saving and healing lives, and also how we can work together to mutually assist the families to the best of our abilities.

We had the distinct pleasure of partnering with Dodge for this lab. Matt Black, Lincoln Plain and Tim Collison concentrated on the embalming and reconstruction aspects. They shared intricate details and best practices of embalming techniques as well as some reconstruction methods. We continue to welcome communication from you to discuss the donation process, embalming and reconstructive

techniques, family care, or to discuss any donors who may have come into your care. Melinda Devries and I are here to support you through the donation process and beyond. As we move forward, the Funeral Director’s Advisory Council will be starting soon. Stay tuned for further details in the next MFDA Bulletin newsletter.

Thank you to the Minnesota Funeral Directors Association and Dan Dahl for allowing LifeSource and Dodge to engage with our funeral director partners on this platform. To our new president, Chris Jacobson, we are thankful for this inspirational experience and we look forward to continued partnership with MFDA.

Thank you to our MFDA Convention Educational Lab Session sponsors and presenters (L to R): Tim Collison of Dodge, Lincoln Plain of Dodge, Kelley Romanowski of LifeSource, Dana Deutsch of LifeSource, Matt Black of Dodge, and Melinda DeVries of LifeSource.

MAY 20-22, 2019

Thank you to all that attended MFDA’s 129th Annual Convention on May 20-22 at the Mayo Civic Center in Rochester! This was MFDA’s first convention in Rochester ever, and the city did not disappoint!

More than 200 funeral directors attended convention including 50 exhibitors. Convention was kicked off with an additional day of education on Monday at the Mayo Anatomy Lab sponsored by Dodge and LifeSource. The MFDA Welcome Pub Party, sponsored by Wieser Vault/MAS Communications/Willmar Precast, kicked off convention with a night of music and fun! The following two days were filled with professional education, opportunities to network with colleagues, and to visit with exhibitors. We greatly appreciate our convention sponsors and exhibitors who were part of our 129th annual event!

Save the date for MFDA’s 130th Annual Convention, May 27-29, 2020 at Mystic Lake Center, Prior Lake.

Minnesota 50-Year License Award recipients were honored at the MFDA Convention - (L to R): Tom Weber, Elery Lewis, Ronald Sturm, William Schmidt, and Louis Bortolon, Jr. Congratulations!

Passare® to Partner with Aftercare.com

Passare, Inc. is proud to partner with Aftercare.com (https://aftercare.com) to provide their mutual customers a more efficient process for enrolling their families into the Aftercare.com service, an automated solution for following up with families after the service is over.

“We are pleased to partner with Aftercare. com to streamline the process of following up with families after a service,” Passare CEO, Jay Thomas said. “The easier we can make it for our clients to connect with the families they serve, the better. This is a big win for our mutual customers because it reduces duplicate data entry and helps our clients save time.”

Funeral homes who use Passare and Aftercare.com will be able to set up an automated report that sends contact information for family and friends on new and archived cases directly to Aftercare. com to be enrolled into the Aftercare Card Program, or the Aftercare-By-Text program. With either program, funeral

homes are able to let families know they are thinking about them, which builds relationships and helps to create loyal families.

“We are laser focused on creating an effortless experience when it comes to enrolling families,” said Ellery Bowker, Founder, and CEO of Aftercare.com. “Partnering with Passare helps to make that possible, and that’s a win for everyone.”

“We’re happy to team up with Aftercare. com,” said Thomas. “Our goal is to make it as easy as possible for funeral directors to run their businesses, and this is just one way we are helping to streamline funeral home processes. The beauty of this is that you can set it and forget it and rest assured that your families are being served through a quality aftercare program.”

To learn more about Passare’s collaboration software, visit us at www.passare.com.

ABOUT PASSARE:

Without effective funeral home software, your business suffers, your staff gets frustrated, and your families don’t get the care they deserve. To help you stay ahead of the curve, Passare offers the funeral profession’s only collaboration software. With Passare, you can collaborate with families and team members anytime, anywhere, using any device. Plus, with unlimited users, devices, and updates, along with 24-hour customer support, you have access to your information when and where you need it. Start saving time, streamlining processes, and enhancing your service to families today with Passare. For a free demo, visit www.passare.com.

ABOUT AFTERCARE.COM:

Aftercare.com makes it easy for funeral homes and cemeteries to stay in touch with families after the service is over. With personalized, caring text messages or cards sent automatically, funeral homes are able to serve at-need families while still letting previous families know they are being remembered.

Book Review: “The Hot Young Widows Club”

by Nora McInerny

By Terri Schlichenmeyer, The Bookworm Sez, LLC

Sometimes, life stinks.

Bad things happen to great people but truly horrible things happen to you - things like losing a loved one, and that’s indescribable. Your emotions feel like shuffled cards: you’re foggy, sad, angry, exhausted, and tired of dealing with it all. So what do you do next? You take a deep breath and read “The Hot Young Widows Club” by Nora McInerny.

Nora McInerny knows grief. She shouldn’t have to, but she does because her husband died some time ago at age thirty-five, just before her father died, just before she miscarried what would have been her second child.

And if that sounds like a lot, it is but she says not to compare her situation to yours. Loss is not a competition because “who could possibly win?”

Remember that “you are not a machine, and grief is not a program you can run.” If you’ve been through loss before, know that “every… loss is different…”

If this is your first big loss, welcome to a club you “had no intention of joining.” What you may not realize yet is that you’re in good company, although dealing with your loss is uniquely yours and there are no rules or “right” ways to grieve, no expiration date, and there are no shoulds.

Although, maybe you should think about finding someone who’s been through this walk of widowhood, too, so you can scream into pillows together. McInerny recommends a “support group” of one or a dozen but find them on your own timeframe and do it in your own way. Oh, and “stop saying yes to the [things] you don’t want to do.”

Remember that “you are not a machine, and grief is not a program you can run.” If you’ve been through loss before, know that “every… loss is different…” Understand that people can be awkward, they can be dumb, and that not every friendship will last beyond your grief. Accept help by naming a “Grief Manager” to coordinate everyone who wants to help do the “stuff you need done.” Embrace these words: “Why do you ask?” when faced with nosiness. And finally, remember that “Time can change you, and it will. But it can’t change [the departed], and it won’t.”

When you head to the store to buy your copy of “The Hot Young Widow’s Club,” be sure to pick up a package of sticky paper flags. You’ll use them up on every page of this helpful, hopeful book.

Truly, this is unlike any Coping with Loss book you’ve ever seen; first, because author Nora McInerny ignores euphemisms. There’s no candy-coating death and no hiding what happened, so she uses the “D” word with honesty and gusto. She also uses humor, too, although it’s not the ROFL kind; instead, it’s humor of the sort that survivors use at the end of a crisis. And that, as she shows readers, is what you’ll be: a survivor, even though you’ll still cry sometimes.

This is not a book for raw widows or widowers, but they’ll want it eventually; it’s a little irreverent, but it’s just what they’ll need, in time. Indeed, life sometimes stinks – but “The Hot Young Widows Club” absolutely does not.

Nora McInerny

It’s Your Life

By Federated Insurance

Who Knows What to Do in Your Absence?

Fires are hazards that we can take steps to minimize and prepare for. We check smoke detectors and change the batteries when needed. We teach our children how to get out of the house and where to meet outside if there is ever a fire in our home. From elementary schools to large corporations, organizations hold drills to make sure everyone knows what to do in the event of an emergency. This concept can, and should, be applied to the operation of your business. Have you held a company “fire drill” lately?

In the unlikely event that you don’t make it to work tomorrow, do your co-owners and key employees know what to do to keep things running smoothly in your absence? If you are the type of business owner who is hands-on and “does it all,” consider the following questions:

• Have you shared how things are done and where essential information can be found?

• Who will meet with potential clients or schedule jobs?

• Who, if anyone, has access to bank accounts to pay monthly expenses and make sure payroll is taken care of so your employees are paid on time?

• Do your right-hand people know the names and contact information of your business’s advisors, including your CPA, attorney, or insurance professional?

You should know the answers to these questions before an unexpected event occurs that might keep you out of the office for a few days, a few weeks, or even longer. Make sure your employees know what to do by holding periodic exercises to gauge their readiness to step in. Don’t let a sudden and unplanned management “fire” threaten the ongoing success of your business.

Organizations hold drills to make sure everyone knows what to do in the event of an emergency. This concept can, and should, be applied to the operation of your business. Have you held a company “fire drill” lately?

Pat Patton Elected to the DIG Board of Directors

Directors Investment Group (DIG), Abilene, TX, is honored to welcome Minnesota funeral home owner, Pat Patton, to its board of directors. DIG is the parent company of Funeral Directors Life Insurance Company, headquartered in Abilene, TX.

“We are excited to welcome Pat Patton to our board of directors,” said Kris Seale, DIG Chairman of the Board and President and CEO of Funeral Directors Life. “Pat has been a friend of mine for many years, and he has been a thought leader in our profession for a long time, holding several key leadership positions at state and national associations. As our company has grown to serve funeral homes beyond Texas, we knew that our leadership needed to reflect that shift. Pat comes to us from Minnesota, and we are looking forward to hearing from his unique perspective.”

Pat Patton currently serves as owner and funeral director at Patton-Schad Funeral & Cremation Services in the Sauk Centre area of Minnesota but is planning to enter into retirement soon.

“Kris and I were talking recently about my plans after retirement.

After a minute, I realized he wasn’t asking about my travel plans,” said Patton with a laugh. “When Kris asks a question, it’s usually because he has

a plan already forming. He asked if I would be interested in serving on the board of directors for DIG, and I had absolutely no hesitation saying yes. I believe in the values of the company, the culture, and the leadership. This is a company that is looking ahead, thinking about the future, and it is an honor and a privilege to serve alongside this great group of leaders to benefit our entire profession.”

Pat has served as past member of the Executive Board of the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) and currently serves as Minnesota’s representative to the Policy Board of NFDA. He is a past president of the Minnesota Funeral Directors

Association (MFDA) and is a member of the MFDA Service Corp. Board of Directors. Pat is a graduate of the University of Minnesota (B.S. Mortuary Science) and lives with his wife Sue in Sauk Centre, MN, who serves alongside him as co-owner of PattonSchad Funeral & Cremation Services.

Funeral Directors Life, MFDA’s endorsed preneed insurance company, rated A- (Excellent) by A.M. Best Company, is a legal reserve life insurance company which specializes in the sale of insurance-funded preneed funerals. Funeral Directors Life is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Directors Investment Group (DIG).

“Kris and I were talking recently about my plans after retirement. After a minute, I realized he wasn’t asking about my travel plans,” said Patton with a laugh. “When Kris asks a question, it’s usually because he has a plan already forming. He asked if I would be interested in serving on the board of directors for DIG, and I had absolutely no hesitation saying yes.”

NFDA News

Sharpen Your Embalming Skills

NFDA’s Embalming & Restorative Art Seminar is August 15-26, 2019 in Nashville, Tenn.

Embalmers of all skill levels are invited to learn from some of the funeral profession’s preeminent experts during NFDA’s second Embalming & Restorative Art Seminar of 2019, taking place August 15-16 at John A. Gupton College in Nashville, Tenn. Whether you’re an experienced or novice embalmer, the dynamic and engaging NFDA Embalming and Restorative Art Seminar offers you an opportunity to cultivate their knowledge and techniques; everything you learn can be immediately applied when you return to you funeral home.

The seminar will be led by some of the country’s most respected authorities on embalming and restorative art:

• Dominick J. Astorino, CFSP, MBIE, adjunct faculty at Wayne State University Department of Mortuary Science and managing director and embalmer at Wujek-Calcaterra & Sons Inc. in Detroit, Mich.

• Scott Gilligan, NFDA general counsel and owner of Gilligan Law Offices in Cincinnati, Ohio

• Wallace Hooker, CFSP, MBIE, owner, funeral director and embalmer at Family & Friends Funeral Home in Wingate, Ind.

• Amanda Marie Ellis King, licensed funeral director and embalmer from Springfield, Mo.

These noted experts will lead sessions on a variety of topics, including embalming procedures and techniques for all experience levels; advanced restorative art techniques to help make the most difficult cases presentable; the application of cosmetics; and how to manage risk and reduce liability exposure. You can save $25 when you register on or before July 16.

Complete details about the August 2019 NFDA Embalming & Restorative Art Seminar in Nashville, including information on how to register, can be found on the NFDA website, www.nfda.org/embalmingseminar.

IN MEMORIAM

Pamela Lynne Plain, mother of Dodge Sales Rep for MN Lincoln Plain, age 73, of Excelsior, died peacefully on May 5, 2019 with her family.

Preceded in death by her sister, Debra Schultz.

Survived by her loving husband of 52 years, Chuck; son, Lincoln; grandson, Zac; brother Craig Schultz; brother-inlaw, Urban Plain; cousin, Jackie (Tom) Lutmer and their children, Jessica and Katie; along with many other loving family and close friends.

Pam took great pride in her special close relationships, in her gardening, was a forever lover of all animals and of annual travels down south and abroad.

Memorial Service was May 9, 2019, at Saint John the Baptist Catholic Church (680 Mill St., Excelsior) with visitation one hour prior to the service. Inurnment at Our Lady of the Lake Catholic Cemetery. Memorials preferred to the Hennepin County Humane Society or animal shelter of your choice.

Richard “Rich”

Brenny, Minnesota funeral director, 71-year-old resident of Little Falls died Tuesday, May 28 at his home in Little Falls. Mass of Christian Burial was June 3, 2019, at Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church in Little Falls. Father Benjamin Kociemba will officiate. Visitation was June 2, 2019, at Emblom Brenny Funeral Service in Little Falls.

Richard Brenny, born on Father’s Day, June 15, 1947, the oldest of seven children of Clemens and Mary (Lampert) Brenny passed away on Tuesday, May 28, 2019 at his home with his wife Sally at his side. Rich attended Our Lady of Lourdes Elementary School and was a graduate of Crosier Seminary Class of 1965. Rich then attended the School of Mortuary Science at the University of Minnesota where he graduated in 1969. Born and raised in a funeral service family, Rich and his two brothers, Joe and Chuck, purchased the funeral home from their parents in 1977. In 1995, Rich and his brothers began operating their businesses independently. Rich served Little Falls, Pierz and the Morrison County area until retiring in 2006.

Rich was known for his random acts of kindness and for his generous nature within his community. He married Sally Hill on October 31, 1970 at St. Bridget’s Catholic Church in Minneapolis, MN. They resided in Pierz for 16 years and there they welcomed their three childrenCarolyn, Michael and Kathryn. Rich served as the Pierz City Clerk and a member of the Volunteer Fire

Department. In 1987, Rich and Sally moved to Little Falls where they have resided since. Rich served as a member of the Board of CHI St. Gabriel’s Hospital for nine years, was a Trustee for ten years and member of the Parish Council of Our Lady of Lourdes Church, and a former member of the Little Falls Exchange Club.

Traveling to warm climates in the winter months, watching Minnesota sports teams, visiting with many dear friends, fishing and playing golf were his favorite hobbies. In his retirement, Rich thoroughly enjoyed his volunteer job as a driver for TriCap, transporting patients to medical appointments. Mostly, Rich enjoyed spending time with his wife and three children and he adored his time with his seven grandchildren.

Survivors include his beloved wife Sally and his three children Carolyn (Eric) Thomes of Greenwood, MN; Michael (Genevieve) of Lehi, UT and Katie (Jennifer) Rudolph of New York City; his grandchildren Carter, Weston and Walker Thomes and Grace, Kennedy, Auren and Eleanor Brenny. His brothers Terry (Carolyn) Brenny of Stoughton, WI; Charles (Hope) Brenny of Baxter, MN; Joseph Brenny of East Gull Lake, MN; Peter (Teri) Brenny of Staples, MN; and sister Maria Brenny Fitzpatrick (Jim) of Waunakee, WI. Rich was preceded in death by his brother Martin, his parents Clem and Mary Brenny, and many dear friends and relatives.

Arrangements for Rich are with Emblom Brenny Funeral Service in Little Falls.

MFDA sends condolences to the family and friends of Pat Petermeier, wife of Thomas Petermeier and mother of Erin Petermeier of Anderson Funeral Home in Alexandra and Sean Petermeier of Advanced Preneed Planning.

Patricia Jean (Flynn) Petermeier was born to the union of James L. and Mary A. (Bowlin) Flynn in St. Paul, MN on August 11, 1938. Pat lived in St. Paul where she attended St. Mark’s Catholic School. When she was 10, her family moved to St. Cloud where she attended St. Mary’s Catholic grade school and graduated from Cathedral High School. She then worked in advertising for Northwestern Drug Company in Minneapolis, MN for 5 years (19571962). During that time, she attended Minnesota School of Business where she earned her Business Certification. In the summer of 1962, Pat took a position at Win-Stevens Buick in Golden Valley, MN as Win’s executive secretary.

In February of 1961, she met Thomas Henry Petermeier. They were united in marriage at Christ the King Catholic Church in Minneapolis, MN on November 6, 1965. Immediately after getting married, the couple moved to Anaheim, CA where Tom was working as a funeral director.

There she worked for the Anaheim Convention Center and assisted at Hilgenfeld Mortuary, where Tom was employed. On July 12, 1968, Tom and Pat welcomed their first child, Shannon Elizabeth. Shannon died on December 30, 1968 of Addison’s Disease. On February 10, 1970, Tom and Pat had their second child, Erin Marie.

Tom and Pat moved their family to Alexandria, MN in March of 1971 and opened Petermeier Funeral Home on April 1, 1971. On June 12, 1972, Tom and Pat’s third child, Sean Flynn, was born. Pat’s main passion and love was raising her two children. She was a wonderful mother who was always there, attended all their school and sporting events, and was their biggest cheerleader! This tradition continued when her six grandchildren and great-grandson were born-they were her pride and joy.

While living in Alexandria, Pat was very involved in the community at St. Mary’s, serving funeral and wedding lunches, volunteering with the Holiday Ball Committee for the Douglas County Hospital, serving as an election judge, and participating in the school parent advisory board. She was also involved in the operations of the funeral home and was a member of both the Elks Club and the Alexandria Golf Club, where she actively enjoyed tennis, golf, and bridge. After living above the funeral

home for 17 years, Tom and Pat built their dream home on Lake Darling and moved in May 1988. There she enjoyed entertaining family and friends and living the lake life.

Pat died on Friday, May 31, 2019. She is survived by her husband of 53 years, Tom; her two children, Erin Petermeier and husband, Chuck Andres of Alex, Sean and wife, Janelle Petermeier of Alex; six grandchildren, Sean Flynn II, Brionne, Shannon, Alec, Ashley, and Kaitlyn; great-grandson, Bentley; sisters, Phyllis Deinema of St. Louis Park, Sharon and husband, Gary Anderson of St. Michael; brother, Terry and wife, Kathy Flynn of Los Gatos, CA; several nieces, nephews, cousins, and friends.

She was preceded in death by her daughter, Shannon; parents, James and Mary Flynn; brother, Thomas; sisters, Marianne and Donna.

A Mass of Christian Burial was June 7th, 2019, at the Church of St. Mary in Alexandria with Father Steve Binsfeld officiating. A Visitation was June 6th, 2019, at the Church of St. Mary. Entombment will be in the St. Mary’s Catholic Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Pat’s memory to Hospice of Douglas County. Arrangements are with the Petermeier Funeral Home.

For more information, please see www.andersonfuneral.net.

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http://mnfuneral.careerwebsite.com

SPECIAL THANKS

TO MFDA’ S 2019 ALLIED MEMBERS

MFDA thanks those individuals who have shown their commitment to MFDA and its members by becoming Allied members. To contact a member, call the MFDA office at 763-416-0124, refer to your MFDA Directory, or visit the online MFDA Buyer’s Guide at www.mnfuneral.org.

21st Century Bank

Dustin Winter

www.21stcb.com

Anatomy Bequest Program

Jake Anderson, Andrew Ashton, Paul Hill, Angela McArthur, Sarah Paulsen, John Straub, Tamara Voss

www.bequest.umn.edu

Answering Service for Directors

Craig Meehan

www.myasd.com

Artco Casket Company, Inc.

Al Whitmer, Steve Doscher, Wally Gelecinskyj www.artcocasket.com

Asphalt Associates

Brad Larson

www.asphalt-associates.com

Assurance Funeral Funding

Joel Morimanno

www.assurancefuneralfunding.com

Assured Decontamination Service

Perry Ebner

www.deconservices.com

Baines Professional Vehicles

John Baines

www.4hearse.com

Brown-Wilbert, Inc.

Dave Gavin, Christopher Brown, Andrew Brown, Bruce Bratton, Brett Jacobsen, Maleia Kavitz, John Schmitt, Jeff Bauer, Jerry Brown www.brown-wilbert.com

Children’s Grief Connection

Coral Popowitz

www.childrensgriefconnection.com

Chosen Payments

Jim Luff

www.chosenpayments.com

Cousineau, VanBergen, McNeese and Malone

Michael Sharkey www.cvmmlaw.com

Dodge Company

Lincoln Plain www.dodgeco.com

Federated Funeral Directors of America

Kim Alexander www.federated-funeral.com

Federated Insurance

Ben Cox

www.federatedinsurance.com

Forest Lawn Memorial Park Association

Kari A. Hubbard www.forestlawnmn.com

Funeral Directors Life

John Harrington

Scott Tufto

www.funeraldirectorslife.com

Funeral Home Gifts

Karl Weisenbeck www.funeralhomegifts.com

Great Western Insurance Company Doug Stolt www.gwic.com

Hyvee Eagan

Chris Straub www.hy-vee.com

Johnson Williams Funeral Car

Todd Anderson www.jwfuneralcars.com

Keith M. Merrick Co., Inc.

Kyle Grimes www.keithmerrick.com

Kelco Supply

Alicia Carr www.kelcosupply.com

Keystone Funeral Home Design Build

Russ Karasch www.keystone.db.com

Laker Insurance

Patrick Zalusky

LifeSource Organ and Tissue Donation

Melinda DeVries www.life-source.org

Lions Gift of Sight (Formerly Minnesota Lions Eye Bank)

Patty Stockdale www.mnlionseyebank.org

MAS Communications

Mary Reeves www.mascommunications.net

Matthews Aurora Casket Roger Ruth, Alexis Smith www.matw.com

Messenger Bob Hoaglund www.messengerstationery.com

Midwest Medical Examiners Office Angie Chalmers www.midwestmedicalexaminer.com

Monumental Sales

Chris Taylor www.sunburstmemorials.com

Northwestern Casket Co. David Koll www.nwcasket.com

Pluto Boes Legal Callyn Bedker www.plutolegal.com

Scene Clean

Nate Berg www.scenecleanmn.com

Senior Advantage Consultants

Julie and Jim Palm www.sradvantageconsultants.com

Shephart, LLC

Dawson Grover www.shephart.com

Steinhaus Supply Services

Steven Steinhaus

United Heritage Insurance

Bob Hanson www.unitedheritage.com

University of Minnesota Mortuary Science

Michael LuBrant www.mortuaryscience.umn.edu

Wieser Vault

Matt Wieser, Todd Wieser www.wieser-doric.com

Willmar Precast Company Ron Jasperson

Be the Hero

TO THE FAMILIES YOU SERVE

Funeral service can be stressful, but it’s all worth it when you get that hug from a family you’ve served. That is why Funeral Directors Life is dedicated to helping funeral directors grow an active preneed program. When you can tell a family, “Don’t worry, it’s all prearranged,” it’s the best feeling in the world…for you and the families you serve.

Please contact:

Regional Sales Vice President

john.harrington@funeraldirectorslife.com

763-607-0659

SCOTT TUFTO Director of Sales Development scott.tufto@funeraldirectorslife.com

ENDORSED BY:

us today to request a free preneed program analysis so you can stop worrying about collecting payment at the time of need and start collecting more of those hugs from grateful families.