Here's to your Health by Montecito Journal

the

SB’s hub for od, Fashion, Art, Foolks Libations, and F t.. . who do it righ

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(PHOTO: ANDREA LORIMOR)

HERE’S TO YOUR HEALTH

ICEPACK AT SANSUM; SOUND HEALING AT SALT CAVE; MASSAGE AT ALCHEMY; MEGAFORM AT FIT BUDDHA; MORNING SWIM AT YMCA; BALLET AT THE BAR; HIP-HOP AT SWELL; GOOD TO GO. (HEALTHY HABITS FOR 2016 BEGIN ON P.12)

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The perfect gift can come in any size . The same is true for the perfect home.

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During this holiday season, our thoughts turn gratefully to those who’ve made our progress possible. We look forward to 2016 with you!

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Content

with Your Perfect

Holiday Party! We cook the food, serve the drinks, and do the clean up...so you don’t have to. Your guests enjoy world-class views, dining by the boats & each other, Santa Barbara style— and you get to Relax.

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We Are

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iweekly Capitalist – Jeff Harding looks into his political crystal ball and B conjures up some frightening and bothersome images from Hillary and the Trump

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S tate Street Scribe – Never mind Hamlet. Some of the best monologues can be heard on your neighborhood city bus. Beer Guy – Zach Rosen is in a spiritual mood, pouring brews worthy of saints and a feast, namely Bierbara and Saint Barbara’s Feast Day The Fortnight – Home for the holidays? Then check out Cory Sipper, Zach Madden, Cracker, Camper Van Beethoven, Survivor, Will Champlin, Vicki Lawrence, and Flashdance the Musical.

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Santa Barbara Maritime Museum

Here’s to Your Health – Oh, wellness: Megan Waldrep gets a firsthand look at the modern world of well-being around Santa Barbara: clinics, classes, therapist – from Sansum to Salt Cave to YMCA to the Alchemy spa.

The Local – Sublime Spaces with Jingle SB Pop-up Holiday Market; Cartasan Designs is On The Spot; Obsessed with The Blue Door; Five Things about Polly Frost; Quick Bites of kale pesto; Q&A with Hollis Brown’s Mike Montall; and raising the Santa Barbara Bar

Berry Girl – Cory Clark scrutinizes diets, specifically organic vs. conventional foods, while she digs into farmers and pesticide-free produce

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Behind The Vine – Hana-Lee Sedgwick is so excited for 2016 that she paves the way to establishments serving up temptations on New Year’s Eve Plan B – Is it puppy love? Briana Westmacott’s column has gone to the dogs – namely George and his love, Mazy – with life lessons for humans

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Photo Credit: Kathryn Mussallem

Up Close – Jacquelyn de Longe gets up-close (naturally) and personal with award-winning playwright Wendy MacLeod about Women in Jeopardy!

I Heart SB – Talk isn’t cheap: Elizabeth Rose reflects fondly about her date with a dreamy Argentinian, with whom quality conversation flowed like the red wine

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SY Valley Snapshot – Eva Van Prooyen’s calendar and dance card are full throughout December and into January: the sight and taste of tiny bubbles, Christmas Tree Burn, wildlife cruise, Robert Cray, SYV Restaurant Week, and more

Art Exhibit Opening • Janurary 14, 2016 • 5:30 – 7:00pm

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Featuring fascinating imagery, videography, & history that tell the story of the Western tattooing culture and its connection to early sailors.

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Tattoos and Scrimshaw: The Art of the Sailor

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S haron’s Take – Sharon Byrne returns to the fold, weighing in on the Saturnalia and season’s greetings: is it politically correct to say “Merry Christmas” anymore?

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Tattoos & Scrimshaw

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Tailor-made menus & beverage choices, for every budget, for groups from 10 to 320. Call Brittany Parish at (805) 564-1200 or email events@chuckswaterfrontgrill.com

Man About Town – Mark Léisuré hasn’t been able to attend much recently, but recommendations include BASSH, Ventura Harbor’s Parade of Lights, and jazz at SOhO

Cinema Scope – James Luksic has his final 2015 list and is checking it twice, specifying his 12 favorites and, conversely, some maddening movies that should have seen neither the light of day nor the dark of an auditorium

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by Sharon Byrne

take

Sharon’s education in engineering and psychology gives her a distinctive mix of skills for writing about and working on quality-of-life, public safety and public policy issues. Her hyper-local SB View column can be found every other week.

Merry…Happy…Joyous…Um…Er…What are We Allowed to Say As Greeting During the Holidays?

t’s that time of year when we decorate, light up, buy a bunch of gifts, send cards, eat more than we should, enjoy merriment and all of that. And there’s this weird dynamic that goes like this: Is it still okay to say Merry Christmas? I recently got that question from several attendees at the Milpas Holiday Parade. Similar comments showed up on news stories about the Downtown Holiday Tree and Parade. Why can’t we call it the Christmas Parade? The Christmas Tree? Is it even legal to have a tree in a public space decorated and lit up like a power plant anymore? I pull the permits for the tree in the Milpas roundabout and the annual parade held the second Saturday of every December for 62 years now. I fill out our paperwork as “Holiday Lights”, “Holiday Tree”, and “Milpas Holiday Parade.” City staff never told me I have to do it this way. I’ve just heard it won’t be permitted if you stick the word “Christmas” in there. It has to be “Holiday”…or else. I’ve never tried to push the envelope on this. I have no religious dog in this fight. But I do find it very odd that this particular set of practices we all trot out every December seems to keep getting quashed, subsumed, appropriated, driven underground in some cases… but still persists. Let me explain. A very long time ago, like a couple of millennia, people gave one another gifts, had holiday dinners and parties, lit up the night, used greenery to decorate their homes… sound familiar? Welcome to the ancient Roman Saturnalia. It was a winter festival of light that started up December 17, incorporated the darkest day of the year of the Winter Solstice on December 21, and carried through to Sol Invictus December 25, the celebration of Roman New Year and the rebirth of the Unconquerable Sun. If you’ve been in Europe at this time of year, it gets dark early, often before 4 pm. That makes for a long night, and a festival of light and merriment is a perfect cure for the winter doldrums. The Saturnalia honored the god Saturn, who ruled over

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karma, hidden wealth, the harvest, structure, and aging. The Romans inverted social structure during the Saturnalia, making the slaves the masters, and vice versa. A slave could poke fun at his master without fear of punishment during the holiday, perhaps the real birth of free speech. Everyone took off work that week, and no official state business was to be conducted. Celebrants ate and drank too much. They brought in branches from the forest to decorate the home, and gave each other presents. Kids got toys, and the practice of gift-giving was widespread. It was wildly popular, and continued on well past the early spread of Christianity into the 4th-century AD. Later Roman emperors made more of a big deal of Sol Invictus, the point at which the days would start getting longer after the Winter Solstice, but even that holiday started looking a lot like the Saturnalia. You have to admire the inventiveness of early Christians. They must have realized it would be hard to kill off a tradition everyone clearly loved for an old god they professed to no longer believe in. Enter Christmas as the replacement holiday for the Saturnalia. St. Patrick would repeat a similar marketing feat in Ireland when he let the pagans keep all their deities by newly anointing them as saints in the Christian religion. Out with the old “Io Saturnalia!” and in with “Merry Christmas”, Joyeux Noel, Feliz Navidad, Fröhliche Weihnachten, etc. Hanukkah is also a festival of lights, with a feast of dedication. It has a different origin, of course, and religious meaning, as does Kwanzaa, but winter celebrations of light and food clearly spark joy at the darkest time of the year. Now we come to the modern era, or the postmodern, depending on whether you resonate more with Nietzsche or Derrida, and people feel awkward about saying Merry Christmas. Is it politically correct? Are we being properly sensitive? Wouldn’t want to offend anyone. The expedient answer is the catch-all phrase of “Happy Holidays!” and let that cover it. Those ancient Romans must be rolling in their tombs having a good laugh on the rest of us. Civilizations rise and fall, and their languages, buildings, and gods may rise and fall with them, but people still light up dark winter nights in December, give gifts, have parties and feasts, and make merry. They clearly had a winner with creating that holiday. Perhaps we could all do with a bit more joy in December, and a lot less anxiety about what we call it and what it’s all supposed to really mean. Merry, happy, joyous… …winter nights to everyone!

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Bi-Weekly Capitalist by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding is a real estate investor and a writer on economics and finance. He is the former publisher of the Daily Capitalist, a popular economics blog. He is also an adjunct professor at SBCC.

Queen Hillary? King Donald?

f Donald Trump said we should deny visas to Hindus until we can “figure out what the hell’s going on” would that bother you? If Hillary Clinton said that no one could leave the United States without paying an exit tax, would that bother you? It should. What does it matter if Trump was referring to Muslims or if Clinton was referring to corporations? It should frighten you that mainstream candidates are advocating this stuff. These are phony issues meant to frighten or anger you into voting for them—politicians are always ready to give you the easy answer. For example, Hillary has said she would enact policies she favors, even though they are opposed by Congress. Recently, she accused corporations of being “unpatriotic” if they wanted to leave the country to avoid our

high corporate tax rate. To correct their lack of patriotism, she said: “If Congress won’t act, then I will ask the Treasury Department, when I’m there, to use its regulatory authority, if that’s what it takes.” In essence, she wants these companies to pay a modern-day manumission tax. We cannot give these people this kind of power. If you are a Hillary supporter, you may think it would work for you in some ways – i.e., taxing corporations and redistributing their wealth. But what if Trump lands in the White House? Would you trust him with vast executive powers? The danger to us is that a concentration of power in the presidency will and has led to bad consequences rather than good solutions. Leaders with vast powers unchecked by legislatures or a judiciary have proven dangerous. This is why our founders created a system based

on a separation of powers between the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of government. Scholar Gene Healy in his book The Cult of the Presidency says our presidency is more powerful than our wise founders ever envisioned and he calls it an “Imperial Presidency.” Healy says this is our own fault, because we expect the president to solve all of our problems. We believe that the president “runs the country,” when in fact he doesn’t. But an imperial president seems to be what you people want. If politicians could solve all of our problems that would be nice, but they can’t – and in doing so they usually make things worse, not better. Perhaps the most imperial of all modern presidents was Franklin Roosevelt, who is the best example of the harm of an imperial presidency. Inspired by European fascist regimes, he and his advisers moved to create a centrally planned command economy called the New Deal. He thought that this would allow his regime to end the Depression. He was wrong, but he was lauded at the time by scholars and columnists who praised his “bold and visionary” action. When the Supreme Court shot down his National Recovery Act as being unconstitutional, he threatened them by proposing to increase the number of justices on the court and pack it with those who were sympathetic to his policies. Then there were FDR’s racist policies during WWII, in which he ordered the internment of American citizens

of Japanese ancestry and he cut back on immigration of Jews fleeing the holocaust. Why did this happen? At the time, Americans were afraid. Because of the Depression and the war, these policies were thought to be necessary and right for America. Now, looking back we see that this was one of America’s darkest moments. America, land of the free, put its citizens in concentration camps, and the economy stagnated for 15 years. This is what happens when you give the president great power. So when Donald Trump tells us that we need to deport 11 million illegal immigrants, or that we should bar Muslims from entering the country, or that trade with China is bad, or that all Muslims are hateful Jihadis, or that we should boycott Starbucks, you should listen. He is wrong on all counts. When Hillary Clinton says she will usher in a new wave of regulation and taxes and further centralize economic power in government, even if Congress opposes her, you should listen. She is wrong and will harm the economy and the middle class. The more power politicians have, the greater the threat to our well-being. When you or I make a bad economic or business decision, we harm relatively few people. When politicians make a mistake, it affects everyone. I say that we should go back to the ideals set forth in the Constitution by our founders and limit the powers of our politicians. History has also shown that we can run our lives better than any politician.

Publisher/Editor • Tim Buckley | Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Managing Editor • James Luksic | Creative Director • Megan Waldrep

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Columnists Man About Town • Mark Leisure Plan B • Briana Westmacott | Food File • Christina Enoch Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | Cinema Scope • James Luksic Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Tommie Vaughn I Heart SB • Elizabeth Rose | State Street Scribe • Jeff Wing Up Close • Jacquelyn De Longe | Behind The Vine • Hana-Lee Sedgwick The Local • Megan Waldrep | Lanny’s Take • Lanny Ebenstein Advertising/Sales Tanis Nelson • 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks • 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell • 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Kim Collins • 805.895.1305 • kim@santabarbarasentinel.com

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STATE STREET SCRIBE by Jeff Wing

Jeff is a journalist, raconteur, autodidact, and polysyllable enthusiast. A long-time resident of SB, he takes great delight in chronicling the lesser known facets of this gaudy jewel by the sea. Jeff can be reached at jeffwingg@gmail.com

Soliloquy on the 11

he driver today is Nick. His wrinkled “At Your Service” piece of paper, above the driver’s seat and to the right in an inexplicably battered black frame, says so. Cabbies have a similar nameplate affixed to the dashboards of their little ships. The nameplate speaks to the centrality of the professional ride-share’s role in the larger progress of the Anthill, a humanizing device that stills and fixes the blurred driver for the moment it takes him to get you to your destination. I’ve got a name, I’ve got a name. And likely a more interesting narrative arc than any one of your passengers. The paper in its scuffed frame is just to the right of the blinking arcade of nonsensical green and red light; the wide NASA-like panel with switches, above the driver’s head, that I’ve long suspected is just a phony sideshow placed there to remind the benumbed passengers that the Secret Underside to Everything also holds sway on a city bus, as of course it must, and with much more of the swagger than is found in places more conspicuous as temples and places of self-important congress. They always place the switches in these machines above the drivers – airplane cockpits, space shuttles, ocean liners. You always see these Argonauts reaching up to flick some switch or genteelly turn a knob above their heads. This arm-raising confers a Pilot Importance to the proceedings. Han Solo, Luke. Chewy. And what was that thing Darth kept screwing down in the final Death Star scenes? He’s closing in on Luke and the other rebel flyboys as they attempt to loose a nuke into the anal pore of the Empire’s pride and joy, some of the good guys sporting double chins and conspicuous ‘70s mustaches as they zip around, dodging Establishment torpedoes. When Lucas cuts to Vader in his black space-bullet, he seems to be continually screwing the lid onto a jar of peanut butter or something. This morning, Nick is holding forth in a stream-of-blather at the top of his lungs, the whole way in to campus. The oblong concavity of the windshield amplifies the shouting and sends it rolling in a crisp mid-range wave down the center aisle of the bus. Like drivers everywhere, but most familiarly those on TV and in the movies, Nick is looking straight ahead and yelling at the windshield while he talks. It’s as if

he’s talking to the air, or to His Time, and maybe that’s also an intended or unintended effect of the yammering driver/philosopher, a worn and condescension-gathering trope. We’re charmed by these philosophers the way Rousseau is charmed, but have no intention of being swayed or moved. But this guy is different. I can feel that his blabbing is the wallpaper covering his room, his happy motif, his pleasure in the sharing of this and that, and then this again. The simple fact of a man happily shouting detailed, harmless, personal information into the air in a confined space? It’s upsetting to people, the Everyday people (not the Sly Stone kind). The bus passengers clear their throats and avert their eyes, or in plain vanilla fear zero in on their idiotic little iThings and glare intently at them. As his shouting continues, I look around to poll my fellows on the bus. One or two of them meet my eyes with Mona Lisa grins, concurring with what they believe is my projected opinion that the driver is a funny embarrassment and an anomaly and a sufferably bad deal, a regrettable entertainment. That is not my opinion, you bore. But Nick? He’s loudly alive. Yeah, he knows it, which makes it even more exalting. But he’s still a hothouse orchid. He may be proselytizing, saying nothing of import but this: “Hey, morons! You can shout if you want, it’s okay – no one gets hurt! You can sing in public, feign a seizure, skip a rock on a pond, do a jig in the funeral parlor, talk loudly to a stranger. This is all a lucid dream. How many times you gotta have that shown to you?” Every minute or so, he shoots a glance at the long mirror installed by the manufacturers, a rear-view mirror whose only contained “rear view” subject is us. When he can see us, we can see him; such is the nature of the aimed mirror. He flashes his dark, laughing, beetle-browed eyes at us through the mirror, just his eyes, that’s what we see. He’s checking his captives and shouts through what could be an approaching fit of laughter. Behind me, a woman is talking into her cell phone. “Pierre Cardin,” she says, then more plaintively, “Pierre Cardin!” “I went to El Monte High School, in L.A.!” Nick shouts, really seeming almost to laugh. “I remember our young, handsome substitute teacher, in 1966! On June 6; 6-6-66! You see?

He told us —” and here I think Nick is going to say the thing about the three sixes being the Number of the Beast and so on, the mark found under the hairline of the sleeping boy when Gregory Peck or Lee Remick go in to check. But Nick says something more interesting than that – something, though, that is also vaguely related to the End of the World. ”— he told us we’d need to wait 11 years for this to happen again!” He laughs like a bad actor in a movie. Although the laugh is unforced and genuine, it has that loudness of a half-performance. I’m alive and a hothouse orchid!

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juice or something. The crusted scum there exaggerates the downward turn of his lips, which are themselves supple and not cracked, just bracketed by this awful scum. His eyes widen briefly at my remark, I suppose, his sunglasses pronouncing the arch of his eyebrows above the frames. He briefly radiates a fascinated gratitude. “Sirhan Sirhan shot him!” Nick shouts with a strange joy, voice fraying with near laughter. “That busboy helped him! Remember? That busboy bent down and helped Bobby! Remember? Remember the picture?” I remember

When Lucas cuts to Vader in his black space-bullet, he seems to be continually screwing the lid onto a jar of peanut butter or something. “Then we’d have to wait for another 11 years for it to happen again! You know? July 7, 1977! My school was just a few blocks from the Ambassador hotel –” here I look up from my laptop. The Ambassador — “That’s where Bobby Kennedy was shot,” a withered and toothless guy in the seat behind me says through his gums, and I nod to him, once, and murmur agreement with a half-smile, and the withered guy looks at me with a slow aiming of his head that yet manages to convey a surprising gratitude. The fanning creases at each of his mouth corners are an Egyptian delta clogged and crusted with what look like the stains of crystallized tobacco

learning as a pre-teen that the photo of Juan Romero in his busboy-whites tending to the calmly staring Bobby K was not a strange studio composite or other trick, as its nightmarish perfection had always made me suppose, but a captured moment; Kennedy looking past Juan with a bored expression, the crazy mannequin sprawl of his body beatified in the corona of light on the wet floor, an unexplained clip-on necktie on the floor there with him. “They got John in November 1963!” Nick continues, almost laughing again. “They let us out of school early! I had to walk 18 blocks to get home! I shoulda taken a cab!”

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by Zach Rosen

A Beer Fit for Saints

ith the vast range of beers on the market, there are always new styles being attempted and new ingredients to be discovered. While some of these beers can be exciting, some of them fall short of their intention or feature trite flavors. There can also be a lot of overlap between characteristics in the same style. IPAs are wonderful, though many of them follow the same themes or use the same hops, leading them to taste close to one another. If you have tasted thousands of different beers, it can be hard to find one that really grabs your attention. So when one does draw your attention, you often won’t forget it anytime soon. Bierbara, a collaboration between The Bruery, soon-to-open Third Window Brewing Co., and Potek Winery, is one of those beers.

Kris Parker speaking about the inspiration for Bierbara

A smoked lamb shank accompanied Bierbara (2)

A Burbara Beer

The name Third Window is a reference to Saint Barbara, our town’s namesake, who is often depicted alongside a three-windowed tower. She had a third window installed in a tower to symbolize the Holy Trinity. In response, she was later persecuted and beheaded by her father due to her belief in Christianity. The feast day for Saint Barbara is held each year on December 4, which marks the day of her martyrdom. When Kris Parker, co-founder of Third Window and grandson of Fess Parker, read about the traditional dish made for Saint Barbara’s feast day, Burbara, he noticed that the recipe had an uncanny similarity to beer. Burbara is a dish made of boiled barley, pomegranate seeds, raisins, anise, and sugar. Kris wanted to recreate these flavors with a beer-wine blend. Kris and his partner, John Neale, called up Patrick Rue, founder of The Bruery and partner in Third Window. Patrick and Kris had worked together on other beerwine hybrids such as Wineification that

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

had used grapes from Fess Parker. The first version of Bierbara was released in 2014 and was a blend of beer with Santa Ynez Rodney’s Vineyard Alvarelhao raisins, Fess Parker estate raw barley, Turkish apricots, and a spice blend. The beer was so well-received that they decided to produce another version for this year. This time, the base beer was a Belgian-style Quad made with house-made candi sugar and aged in bourbon barrels for 14 months. This beer was blended with a Riesling ice wine (10 percent) from Third Window’s

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neighbor, Potek Winery. The winery is the newest project from winemaker Dave Potter (Municipal Winemakers) and is also located at The Mill. The blend was then aged on cinnamon, nutmeg, star anise, and fennel. The finished “beer” is dark and brooding, yet remains bright and fragrant from the wine character. The ice Riesling adds a green-apple note that accents the tart raisin and herbal, licorice-like qualities of the beer. Notes of brown sugar, vanilla, and treacle come from the bourbon barrels and lace an elegant richness to the other flavors. Bierbara is a wild set of flavors that seem to simultaneously complement and contrast one another, making it one of the most enticing beers I’ve tasted in a long time.

Feast Day of St. Barbara

To celebrate Saint Barbara’s Feast Day and the release of Bierbara on December 4, a few dozen guests attended a beer and wine dinner at Potek Winery. The food was provided by Wildwood Kitchen, which is also located in The Mill. Attendees were welcomed with a taste of The Bruery Confession, another Fess Parker collaboration. This beer blended a Riesling must from Fess Parker with a sour blonde ale, similar to the base used for Reuze, their take on the Lambic-style geuze. The beer had soft aromas of Meyer lemon and gooseberries with a mild funkiness from the wild microorganisms. The lively character of the beer captured the brisk, blustery night people had just left behind as they entered the warmth of this wood-filled room. The beer’s acidity helped cut through the salt and fat of the savory charcuterie plates that were put out as appetizers. As we took our seats, the night began with an introduction by Dave and Patrick. The first course was a Smoked Beet Greek Salad paired with Potek Winery’s 2012 Tierra Alta Grenache.

Third Window Brewing, located at The Mill, is set to open soon

Dave mentioned that the vines are located near a foggy, steep canyon wall that contributes a freshness to the Grenache grapes. The wine and smoked beets combined in a powerful set of flavors reminiscent of blackberries and scorched earth. The jammy, rich flavors were brightened by a fennel vinaigrette and accented by the saltiness of the feta cheese and kalamata olives. Naturally, Bierbara was paired with the main course, a massive smoked lamb shank with whipped potatoes, red wine braised mushrooms, smoked bacon, and pickled shallots. The spices in the beer enhanced the the savory elements of the lamb and mushrooms, with an herb garnish and shallots providing a subtle bite. The hearty dish made for a satisfying complement to the exotic flavors of the beer. A ricotta cheese custard in a chilled blackberry soup with market berries and cornflake crunch paired with Potek Winery 2014 Ice Wine (from Barrel), the original iced Riesling that went into the Bierbara blend. The wine had a nectarlike, honey sweetness with accents of apple and pears and elderflower undertones that were complemented by the creamy, cheese custard and lush berries. The flavors were elevated by an aromatic mint garnish and cornflake crunch that added a contrasting texture that tied the dish together. Blending beer is easily one of the most artistic brewery practices. Creating a blend needs vision and direction, otherwise the flavors just end up tasting muddled, contradictory, or just uninteresting. After tasting these blended beer-wine hybrids and the foods they were paired with, it is easy to observe that this team has that (it also doesn’t hurt that Patrick is a master cicerone). If Bierbara is reflective of the quality that Third Window will be bringing to the local beer scene, they are worthy of representing our namesake saint.

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DEC 19 -JAN 15

by Sentinel Staff

Tell us all about your art opening, performance, dance party, book signing, sale of something we can’t live without, or event of any other kind by emailing fortnight@santabarbarasentinel.com. If our readers can go to it, look at it, eat it, or buy it, we want to know about it and will consider it for inclusion here. Special consideration will be given to interesting, exploratory, unfamiliar, and unusual items. We give calendar preference to those who take the time to submit a picture along with their listing.

Our Apologies Last issue’s Fortnight column led with a demeaning and insulting calendar item referencing the Jewish Federation of Greater SB’s 9th Annual Vodka Latke. Our writer says he wrote it in fun, but Sentinel editors should have caught and removed the item before going to press. We apologize to any and all who were offended by the thoughtless and disparaging remarks directed toward a well-respected organization and the religious beliefs of its members. We should have exercised more vigilance over the copy that appears in our paper and are deeply remorseful that the offending words made it into print. – TLB

On Hold for the Holidays

e’re taking a few weeks off after this current issue so some folks around here can recuperate. That means we’re doubling up on the happenings this time around. (I guess we’re still calling it The Fortnight, because I don’t there’s a word that describes four weeks, though it’s just shy of a month, y’know.) Anyway, it’s good timing because, other than New Year’s Eve, there’s not a whole lot happening over the holidays. I mean, the calendar is nearly as empty as the shelves at the former Haggen’s stores around town. I drove by one the other night, and it looked awfully lonely in there – meaning there’s only a few fewer people than were patronizing the place when it was open. Perhaps some smart location scout will get them to shoot the latest sequel in a horror movie series before the new owners re-stock, so someone can recoup some of the costs from the food industry’s biggest financial disaster of the year. Speaking of empty, the scene for local music sure isn’t what it used to be. There was a time when there were plenty of places for Santa Barbara bands to play, and therefore lots of young’ns making music. It’s tough for up-and-comers to fine a gig around town to hone their craft in public, save for the scene in I.V., which is why a lot of the success stories have come out of the college campus. That’s partly why Cory Sipper, who started making music as a teenager back in the good old days when she snapped up a coveted publishing deal with a major

company, took more than a decade off from live performing after recording and releasing five albums. Even by then, she was making more from having her songs and voice appear in hundreds of TV shows, films and commercials both here and abroad, and after getting married and starting a family, a life off the road seemed much more appealing. The tribe now includes two daughters, two dogs, two ducks, two fish, nine chickens, and a solitary cat (that bites, we’re told), so Sipper’s still not venturing all that far from home. But she did write and record a new album earlier this year, a charming set of songs called Make Your Magic, with several special guest of the local (Toad the Wet Sprocket’s Glen Phillips, an old friend) variety and beyond. She’s played a couple of shows at SOhO in the six months since the album came out and will be returning to the club on Wednesday, December 23, which is also her birthday, so she’s planning on performing both solo and with her band, expect some special guests to be sitting in, because she’s got lots of old friends from way back when and since it’s the holidays they’re largely back in town. Besides which, opening act Zach Madden, who also hails from Santa Barbara, will have some Santa Barbara stalwarts in his backup band, including Angus Cooke on cello, Lois Mahalia on vocals, and Byl Carruthers on bass. Showtime is 7:30, tickets are just $8. Info at 9627776 or www.sohosb.com.

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Camper and Cracker

You’ve got to think the Monday between Christmas and New Year’s is the slowest night of the year. But not at the Lobero, where Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven will be sharing the stage almost a year to the date since the double-bill played the same venue, the first time either band had been in town in about 20 years. In fact, that was the same Monday, so I’m wondering what that’s all about. Anyway, the raspy-voiced singersongwriter-bandleader David Lowery is what Camper, the ‘80s alt-rock cult band, and Cracker, a sort of a pre-cursor to alt-country music which Lowery founded after CVB temporarily disbanded to fought the good fight against grunge in the 1990s, have in common. Both groups have had their ups and downs over the years – Cracker scored with “Low” and “Teen Angst (What the World Needs Now)” as the anti-Nirvana back then, while Camper wasn’t even around until reuniting in the 2000s – so Lowery now splits his time between them. Except when they’re touring, of course. Last year’s concert was Cracker’s just-released double album Berkeley to Bakersfield, which divided the state in a sort of East/West line; this time around CVB, which back in 2001 covered Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk in its entirety, is doing the same thing with their own signature 1988 album Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart, as well as performing selections from their last two studio releases, 2013’s La Costa Perdida and 2014’s El Camino Real, which split the state into North/South regions. We’re also likely to hear their two newest songs that were included in the soundtrack for Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! The noise gets underway December 28 at 8 pm; tickets are a mere $29, damn cheap for a big double-bill (I think that buys you two slices

of pizza and a beer at the Bowl). Details and 963-0761 or www. lobero.com.

Still Rockin’ and Rollin’

What do Survivor and Will Champlin have in common? Well, let’s see. Survivor’s biggest hit is “Eye of the Tiger”, which was the theme song to Rocky back in 1982, making it 33 years old. Champlin was born in 1983, which makes him 32, but we’re sure he’s still the apple of his dad’s eye, dad being Bill Champlin, who is bestknown as a lead singer of Chicago right around the same time, when “Hard Habit to Break” featured his voice. Will Champlin came in third on Season 5 of CBS’s The Voice in 2013. Meanwhile, Survivor has a brand-new voice, 21-year-old Nashville resident Cameron Barton, who just recently got hired to be the lead singer for the band, replacing Jimi Jamison, who passed away in September 2014. Other than that, it’s aging arena rockers versus still-on-the-rise poprock singer-songwriter? So not much. So why are they in the same paragraph? They’re both performing on January 7. Will’s at SOhO (8 pm; $15 in advance, $20 at the door; 962-7776 or www.sohosb.com), Survivor up at the Chumash Casino in Santa Ynez (8 pm; $25; 800-248-6274 or www. chumashcasino.com). Your choice.

To Ms Lawrence, with Love

Vicki Lawrence was just 17 when she got plucked out of high school to appear on The Carol Burnett Show as the star’s younger, almost-asredheaded sidekick. That was back in 1967, which makes Lawrence 66 now, so it wasn’t a huge shock when health issues – she was diagnosed with chronic idiopathic urticaria in 2010 – forced her to postpone a gig at the Granada last June for her one-woman show Vicki Lawrence and Mama: A Two-Woman Show. One-woman, twowoman? That’s not a counting error – Lawrence portrays both her own comedic self, and Mama, the character created for the Burnett show as the family matriarch that was spun off into Lawrence’s own vehicle Mama’s Family in the early ‘80s. Emmy Award winner Lawrence – who is also a singer (“The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia” was a No. 1 single in 1973) and former talk show host – created the touring show in 2002, on the heels of the first Carol Burnett Show reunion. Seems Harvey Korman – who had been out on the road with fellow Burnett Show alumnus Tim Conway – suggested she might also enjoy doing something

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similar, except Lawrence wouldn’t need to split the proceeds, since the feisty Mama doesn’t collect a separate paycheck. Mama rants about all sorts of things, and we’d imagine she’ll have even more of a field day with the plethora of Republicans running for the president, the subject probably Trumping other current issues even more than she’d planned back in June. And maybe she’ll also get another wish granted: having Burnett actually see the show in person. We’ve heard that was partly why she got her booking agent to land a Santa Barbara date, but Burnett wasn’t available in June because of a prior obligation to attend in Jim Nabors’s 85th birthday party in Hawaii. Now, the new date, January 10, is slated for just one week prior to her former boss’ engagement performing Love Letters with Brian Dennehy at the New Vic. We’ll see whether it’ll be a reunion of the flaming redheads on show night, which is at 8 pm, and tickets cost $41-$74. Info at 899-2222 or www.granadasb.org.

On Stage in a Flash

I know it’s become the hottest thing in theater, but I’ve still got some

reservations about this whole trend of turning movies into stage musicals. The other way around never bothered me as much, because taking Broadway shows to the screen was a good way to give them a lot bigger exposure. This latest craze just seems a bit lazy. Anyway, one of the more recent entries is headed our way, as Flashdance the Musical is next up in Theater League’s Broadway in Santa Barbara series at the Granada, January 12-13. Actually, that’s something of a misnomer, as the stage adaptation of the 1983 film, which debuted back in 2008, toured the U.K. in 2009, played London’s West End for another year and enjoyed a U.S. tour since 2013 never actually made it to Broadway, as its planned opening in 2013 was scuttled. I haven’t seen it, so don’t know if the problem concerned the show itself or typical financial stuff on the Great White Way. One can only hope the girl playing Alex, the steel worker by day/ exotic dancer by night wannabe, does that slideacross-the-floor audition thing half as alluringly as Jennifer Beals in the movie. Showtime is 7:30 pm both nights, tickets range from $33-$83, and details are available at 899-2222 or www.granadasb.org.

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(805)969.4305 1206 Coast Village Circle. Ste D Montecito

‘TIS THE SEASON

HERE’STOYOUR HEALTH Wake-up Call

by Megan Waldrep

The Sansum Clinic Physical Therapy room at the Foothill Road location utilizes different equipment to rehab patients back to good health (Photo: Sansum Clinic)

’m lying on a table, covered with a stiff, blue blanket from neck to toe. My eyes are fixated on the ceiling and florescent lights above. I’m almost 34. How is this happening? I winch as sharp pains penetrate my back, the result of an icepack nestled beneath my spine for the past 10 minutes. The final moments of each physical therapy session end with my lower back numb with cold. Music plays throughout the room. I hear Beck sing, “Soy un perderdor... I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?” This is the moment I realize I need to get my health-life together. Kristin Wise,

my physical therapist for the last 4 weeks, re-enters the room. I lift my head slightly and follow her to the end of the table as she removes the knee wedge. The reason I’m here in the first place is (or was, prior to Kristin) knee, shin, and foot pain – all at once and all the time. After a certain age, any type of pain can make your mind go to the dark-side, convincing yourself you have a rare form of Godknows-what. Thankfully, it turns out, tight muscles in my lower back are the culprits to this trifecta of torment and ...continued p.14

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

...continued from p.12 A group shot of Sansum Clinic’s dedicated physical therapists. My personal therapist, Kristin Wise (in perfect posture), is second to the end, far right. (Photo: Sansum Clinic

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Kristin’s magical touch is my redeemer. “So... what can I do to improve?,” I ask sheepishly. “Sitting is the new smoking,” she declares while removing and folding the blanket. I nod agreeably. “Setting a timer to remind us to change positions, sitting on an exercise ball, or using a stand-up work stations are all important.” These sound like great ideas. She removes the icepack and it causes me to shiver a bit. “But what kind of exercises can I try?” The looming question is always, where to start? Admittedly, finding an exercise or wellness program in Santa Barbara can be intimidating with the multitude of services, classes, and practices available. And I didn’t have a long time to figure

it out. I had a deadline and a stiff back. “Honestly, it’s whatever makes you happy.” What a comforting response. “Sometimes it helps to have classes or meet a friend, because it helps to keep you accountable and motivated.” True. For a writer whose life consists around being accountable (the aforementioned deadline), this made sense. “But,” she continues, “if someone is a self-starter, then exercising independently works great for them.” This also speaks, as writers are notorious loners. Solo or with a group, didn’t matter. Something needed to change and stat. She advises to pick beginner classes at or under 60 minutes, look for instructors willing to make modifications, and to keep it fresh

Sansum Care is…

SYNCHRONICITY A healthcare team built around you, working together.

by varying a routine (e.g., run, spin, yoga several times a week). I’m scribbling down mental notes ferociously in my head, as to not miss a piece of advice from my new PT guru. “Most of all, find what you’ll succeed at and what you’ll stick to. And just go do it!” With those final words, I lace my shoes, give her a wave and head out into the abyss. I’m on a mission, and my journey starts now. Sansum Clinic, Physical Therapy Kristin Wise, PT 27 E Canon Perdido Street, Santa Barbara Kwise@sansumclinic.org ...continued p.32

Your health. Simplified. • New Medical & Surgical Center on Foothill Road – completed • Pesetas and Pueblo clinic upgrades – underway • All-new comprehensive Cancer Center – coming in 2016 • Awarded California Association of Physician Groups Elite status

Santa Barbara Outrigger Canoe Club members paddling in Santa Barbara harbor

• As a nonprofit, all Sansum revenue is invested into improving services and facilities

1 (800) 4 SANSUM

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Obsessed With:

Local

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Onward and Forward

LOCAL AND VINTAGE ART EXCLUSIVE

wenty-six designers, artists, and furniture makers from San Francisco to Sin City fill The Blue Door, a tri-story shop with authentically vintage or local items only, no exceptions. The actual blue-door entrance is a gallery wall of its own, featuring local artists or vintage pieces every three months. This time, it’s both. Check out a piece by original Funk Zone artist Richard Mann – who had a gallery in the old-school Funk Zone in the ‘80s – on display until February 2016.

The Blue Door 4 East Yanonali Street, Santa Barbara (805) 364-5144 Instagram: @thebluedoorsb www.thebluedoorsb.com

ONTHESPOT:

ictories, defeats, a little blood, sweat for sure (hello, wellness issue!), tears (yep), and lots of surprises in between all equal growth and progress. And we’re ready for more. This goes for our health, too. In this issue, we’re celebrating the organic, the local, the spiritual, the physical, and the delicious. Check out yumminess of The Farm Cart in Cause & Effect, the indulgent handmade tamales by Los Agaves in Sweet Spot, the highly curated Blue Door in Obsessed With, and the new flavors of Santa Barbara Bar in Raising the Bar, just to name a few. We’ll be back January 15 with even more goods – and remember, if you’d like to see yourself or a friend in our pages, give us a shout: megan@ santabarbarasentinel.com or hit us up on Insatagram: @santabarbarasentinel

To 2016 and beyond!

WALLED PAPER

artasan is “the mindful blending of carta, the Italian word for ‘“paper’” and artisan (a person who is skilled at making things by hand). Artist Marilyn McRae created this 3-D, paper masterpiece – inspired by a fossilized ammonite on her desk – titled “Nautilus”. Pages from magazines are first chosen then organized by color, then cut, curled, and folded. The process is timely – it took more than 200 hours to make this 60” x 36” piece.

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Local

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BerryMan

by Cory Clark

The Berry Man, Inc. is a wholesale produce distributor supplying produce and artisanal products to restaurants, resorts, institutions, caterers, and markets from Big Sur to Santa Barbara to Santa Monica. While sourcing worldwide, special emphasis is on the locally grown. Cory Clark is sales and marketing director of The Berry Man, Inc. and the voice of this sponsored column, The Berry Man.

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CAUSE & EFFECT... HELPING THOSE WHO HELP US

SEEDS OF CHANGE

s you can imagine, “Organic” is a hot topic in the agriculture industry. I feel lucky to have grown up while being taught the importance of a healthy diet, and I also feel fortunate to be in a business where the product I sell can make a positive impact on people’s lives. There is great debate whether eating organic versus conventional truly makes a difference in one’s health. Several years ago, a report that stated organic foods are not nutritionally different from non-organic; however, something important was left out of the equation. This from the Los Angeles Times: “Stanford’s research showing that organic produce probably isn’t any more nutritious than the conventional variety is mostly remarkable for what it omitted.” Still, you’ve had to be a reader of alternative media to get the real scoop on this study; I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out that eating produce sprayed with pesticides and herbicides designed to kill pests will also be harmful to human health. Another plus for eating organic is the quality. Occasionally, I hear people

It takes a tremendous amount of dedication for a farmer to grow organically argue that organic produce goes “bad” quickly. Crazy! That statement is patently untrue. It takes a tremendous amount of dedication for a farmer to grow organically. You’d better believe he is using every trick in the book of organic farming to keep his crops from being eaten and therefore paying close attention to his product. It’s very easy for “Big Ag” to dust their crops with pesticides and growth promoters, and then walk away until harvest time. At Berry Man, we do our best to source from local, organic, and pesticidefree farms. We are always on the lookout to increase our network of such growers. Organics can cost up to 40-percent higher, so it is cost-prohibitive for many of our customers. A concept we are currently implementing is an “alpha” program. If we can get an organic item for a price that is comparable to conventional, we will only stock the organic product. This way, we will be able to give all of our customers a chance to purchase more organic items at an affordable price. It has long been a goal of ours to grow this arm of our distribution. The fate of organic food currently lies in the hands of the consumer. As the demand for organic food grows, so does the pressure for farming practices to change. In Germany, McDonald’s is launching an organic hamburger to test the market for organic fast food. If it is successful, they will introduce it into the U.S., and other companies will be forced to compete to keep their share of the market. In a positive scenario, the sheer demand for an increased volume of organics, necessary to supply these companies, will send farmers and producers clamoring to be part of the global organic marketplace. Wouldn’t it be interesting if the very companies that have been criticized for their negative impact on health and the environment actually become the B seeds of change? B

family-owned, little 2-acre farm in the foothills of Carpinteria is the source of organic fruits and veggies available all year at The Farm Cart. Even better, they offer a Farm Box loaded with seasonal veggies for you and yours. For under 20 bucks, indulge fruits, a mix of vegetables for stir fry, root crops, citrus, alliums, and herbs. They also offer weekly recipes to guide you to a yummy dish using fresh-daily-fromthe-field Farm Box goodies.

The Farm Cart is located at 5103 Carpinteria Avenue Hours: Mon., Tues., Wed., Fri., and Sat. from 11:30 am to 5:30 pm Instagram: @thefarmcart_og youngharvestfarm@gmail.com • www.farmcartorganics.com

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Local LIBATIONS AQUEL WATERBAR™

ove Water? Think AQUEL. Winner of the UCSB Water Taste Team, AQUEL Waterbar™ gives you the taste of bottled water right from your own faucet. With faucets available in six styles and 31 precious metal finishes, you can choose between crystal-clear reverse osmosis, micronfiltered, or mix the two for your perfect water blend.

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SPECIAL RECIPES FROM TALENTED CHEFS IN SB

QUICK BITES K

ale adds a rich, earthy note and brilliant green color to this hearty dairy-free pesto made with both omega-rich hemp seeds and flaxseed oil. Best of all, it can be made in fewer than five minutes. Experiment with olive oil, walnut oil, or pistachio oil in place of the flaxseed oil. Nuts can be raw or toasted; any variation adds an element of flavor. Use as a dip with bread, rolled into grilled zucchini strips for a small bite, a marinade for grilled shrimp, a sandwich spread, in scrambled eggs, or in soup. (Can you tell I love this pesto?) The possibilities are endless. Makes about two cups.

KALE PESTO Ingredients:

2 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed 3 cups (about 1 bunch) organic kale 5 sprigs fresh basil ½ cup hemp seeds ½ cup pistachio nuts, toasted 1 tablespoon lemon zest 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

½ teaspoon of A Taste of Ojai Fennel Sea Salt ¼ teaspoon freshly ground pepper ¼ cup flaxseed oil or extra-virgin olive oil optional: ⅓ cup Parmesan, Feta, or Pecorino cheese, grated, or a pinch of red pepper flakes

Directions:

In a food processor, add the garlic cloves, kale, basil, hemp seeds, pistachio nuts, lemon zest and juice, salt, and pepper. Turn on the processor and drizzle in the oil. Process to blend, stopping to scrape down the sides of the processor as necessary. Add more lemon, salt, or pepper, to taste. To achieve a thinner consistency, add more oil. And if you’re serving with pasta, you can add to the pasta with some of the reserved pasta cooking water just before serving.

Raising the Bar

MANGO LEMON:

Dried mango, organic lemon juice, cashews, chia seeds, oats, sesame seeds. No soy, refined sugars, or GMOs to be found here.

WITH OUR FAVORITE HEALTHY SNACKS

DARK CHOCOLATE ALMOND:

eter Gaum, the CEO and ingredient master of Santa Barbara Bar, created the first three flavors by a happy accident. With antioxidants and rich in superfoods, the Santa Barbara Bar brings new meaning to healthy and delicious snacks. The bars are packed with so much filling goodness, they can be enjoyed as meal replacements, too. Currently in 180 stores around SB and about 3,500 nationwide, Peter and his team have introduced new flavors Mango Lemon and Dark Chocolate Almond to the coveted mix.

FORD-WHEELIN’

Perry Ford

Almonds, cranberries, dark chocolate, oats, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, and is 100-percent GMO-free.

Santa Barbara Bar Instagram @SantaBarbaraBar • www.sbbar.co

SweetSpot:

THE

erry Ford offers a wide range of electrified vehicles that fit our Santa Barbara lifestyle. From Hybrids to all-electric vehicles, discover the differences and choose the one that best suits yours. Perry Ford has the one you want at the price you need. Visit our showroom today. Perry Ford 440 Hitchcock Way (866) 942-2110 www.PerryFordSB.com

Private Chef Robin

(805) 284-4264 • www.privatechefrobin.com Robin Goldstein, known as “Private Chef Robin” to her clientele, cooks for special events and private parties. Find her salt infusions at The Santa Barbara Company, C’est Cheese, Isabella Gourmet Foods, the Santa Barbara Winery Tasting Room, Porch on Santa Claus Lane, and Viva Oliva in Montecito.

TAMALES TO-GO

e’re talking handmade tamales from Los Agaves. Beginning now through January 8, customers can special-order their favorite tamales by the dozen from locations in Santa Barbara, Goleta, and Westlake. Choose chicken, pork, beef, or vegetables, served with roja (red), verde (green), crema sauce. There’s even a dulce (sweet) tamale, filled with pineapple and cinnamon for dessert. Pricing is $44 for 12 large tamales, and $33 for 12 small. Now that’s pretty sweet. Los Agaves To place an order, call (805) 682-2600 Instagram @losagavesrestaurant • www.los-agaves.com

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Behind the Vine by Hana-Lee Sedgwick

Hana-Lee Sedgwick is a writer, wine consultant and lover of all things wine and food. As a Santa Barbara native, she loves to explore the world of wine in and around her hometown. Visit her popular blog, Wander & Wine, for wine tips, tasting notes, and adventures in wine and travel, at wanderandwine.com.

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Animal House

PARTI ON!

eet Amelie, a 3-year-old Parti Pomeranian (“Partis” are Poms with five hair colors: white, silver, grey, black. and tan.) She was a rescue from Springfield, Missouri. Her owners adopted her six months before relocating to Santa Barbara from Kansas City, Missouri, in 2013. Amelie loves to hang out at Hendry’s beach, go shopping in Montecito and on State Street, and visit her friends at Honor Bar, Endless Summer, and other venues.

NEW YEAR’S EVE FOR FOOD & WINE LOVERS

To see your pet in ANIMAL HOUSE/Pet of the Week, email a photo, name of pet and owners, and some fun facts to megan@santabarbarasentinel.com

PlantingRoots

by Frederique Lavoipierre Director of Education at Santa Barbara Botanic Garden

SY Kitchen is dishing out a 3-course meal for $75

he holidays are upon us, and you know what that means… a time to give thanks, cherish family and friends and, of course, overindulge! Let’s be honest, this time of year usually brings an excess of food, booze, and celebrating, so why quit now? You’ll have all of January to get some R&R or start those resolutions. For all of you food and wine lovers out there, there are plenty of great options to raise a glass and eat delectable food this New Year’s Eve. From more casual dinners to multi-course meals, here are a few places for foodies and oenophiles to celebrate the end of another great year in Santa Barbara. Bouchon is offering a special menu during their two NYE seatings, the latter of which is at 9 pm for $125 per

person, plus $75 for wine pairings. The always popular Wine Cask is serving up a 3-course meal for $85, with wine pairings for an additional fee. Out at the Bacara, there will be several different NYE happenings, including live music and a 6-course menu for $210 per person with wine pairings. Both Montecito Café and Jane are doing a special 3-course dinner for $65, and at the historic Upham Hotel, Louie’s California Bistro is offering a seasonal a la carte menu to help ring in the new year. Just down the street, Barbareño will also have a few specials in addition to its regular menu. Up on the Riviera, El Encanto will be offering a 4-course dinner which includes a glass of Champagne for $125. The best part? Your glass of Champagne

GREEN DÉCOR TO CARRY THROUGH THE NEW YEAR

t’s the holidays, and our homes are bedecked with wreaths, swags, garlands, and festive table centerpieces. There are beautiful, ornate examples for purchase, but do you know how easy it is to make your own with a few evergreen branches? A swag, for instance, is easily assembled from a bundle of branches. Tie a ribbon around it, add a couple of small pines cones with the help of a glue gun, and voilà! Purchase a simple wreath of Douglas fir as a base, and add your own embellishments of greenery with floral wire and a bit of glue. Create an informal centerpiece for the holiday table by simply arranging a few attractive branches, cones, and ribbons in the middle. Native plants can add a unique touch to holiday decor – try the tight flower buds of sugar bush or lemonade berry, or beautiful starbursts of white sage. Santa Barbara Botanic Garden 1212 Mission Canyon Road, Santa Barbara (805) 682-4726, ext. 111 • flavoipierre@sbbg.org

Quality food and fine wine in Santa Ynez

will be poured from a 15-litre bottle called a Nebuchadnezzar. It’s the equivalent of 20 standard bottles, and I have to say it is quite impressive if you’ve never seen one! The beautiful San Ysidro Ranch’s Stonehouse Restaurant is already booked for their later seating, but there are still spots available for the early seating, which includes a 5-course meal for $180 per person or $255 with wine pairings. If drinks is all you’re after, you can grab some wine and still be home before midnight at Armada Wine & Beer,

where they’ll be celebrating with an “East Coast Toast” at 9 pm. Looking to venture out of town? The always delicious SY Kitchen in Santa Ynez is offering a 3-course meal for $75, with optional wine pairings available. In Los Olivos, Mattei’s Tavern will be serving dinner until 10 pm, but keeping the bar open until midnight so you can keep the fun going until the ball drops. Wherever you decide to spend your night this New Year’s Eve, there’s no better way to ring it in than with Santa Barbara’s delicious food and wine! Cheers.

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PLANB by Briana Westmacott

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When Briana isn’t lecturing for her writing courses at UCSB and SBCC, she contributes to The Santa Barbara Skinny, Wake & Wander and Flutter Magazine. Along with her passion for writing and all things Santa Barbara, much of her time is spent multitasking through her days as a mother, wife, sister, want-to-be chef and travel junky. Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability... usually.

ANOTHER DOGGONE YEAR IS DONE

ometimes I look at my dog and I wish that I could be him. George and I lock eyes and I transport myself into his world; it’s so good there. Gone are the mass shootings and starving children. Forgotten are the terrorists and the natural disasters. Hatred and bigotry do not exist. George leads a simple life. He’s happy when he gets pet, happier when he’s fed, and happiest when he goes for a walk. It’s an uncomplicated existence. As this year comes to a close, everyone will look back and reminisce about all that transpired in 2015. I sat down and was going to write this column about our ups and downs when suddenly a nose nudged my knee. There was George, gazing up at me with his pleading “walk me” eyes, and it dawned on me: George’s year has a lot of lessons imbedded in it for all of us. YOU LUCKY DOG, YOU In 2015, George turned five, and as the years continue to tick by, he is getting much more comfortable in his own fur. He no longer needs to chew shoes for attention or dig holes in the yard out of boredom; he’s left those bad habits in his puppy past. It seems that George has found a contentment that only age delivers. George is lucky; what he found at five took me 40 years to discover. George has had a healthy year, too. We only paid one unexpected visit to the vet when we noticed his nose and lips had swollen to three times their normal size (I’ve actually seen some women pay for this – the lip part, that is). It turns out, our poor guy had chomped on a bee. After a quick Antihistamine shot in the ass, George was on his way. Although he still continues to nip at flies and anything else that moves (that bee didn’t quite teach him his lesson). But

BRIANA’S BEST BET

Happy holidays from my pack to yours – that’s Mazy, George’s gal, on the left

e like to travel and when we do, George needs a good place to stay. If we take long trips, we drive George up to my mom’s ranch (where he gets to hang with his love Mazy), but it’s a trek to get him to Nana’s place. For shorter stays, we board George at Sam’s Doggy Dude Ranch. The Dude Ranch is perfect for George; he can romp and roam all day with horses and other dogs. Susie and the rest of Sam’s people will take good care of your dog if you need boarding: www. samsdoggieduderanch.com Do you want to help a dog in need this holiday season? No, I don’t mean adopt one; there’s a company that provides a service where you can buy a bed for a dog that is in our local shelters. What a great stocking stuffer! Check out www.kuranda.com/donate# to find out how to make a shelter dog happier and more comfortable.

Who can blame them with all the terrible atrocities and diseases that exist on Earth? Optimism, like our bodies and souls, must be nourished. How might someone upkeep untarnished optimism? It isn’t easy, but this year I used George to remind me of the important things in life: aren’t I lucky to be fed and to feed my family each day? And I should never stick my nose into other peoples’ beeswax, because that can sting. Love will always be an all-important force. Finally, I’m going to continue to grow happy in my aging skin. Those fine lines and grey hairs have stories behind them, stories that I look forward to writing about. Happy New Year to all! I hope you get some time to curl up and snuggle with your loved ones, eat some tasty food, and take a few good off-leash walks this holiday season. And remember, it’s the simple pleasures that soothe the soul. Woof.

George, content, even when my kids slap reindeer antlers on him

hey, nobody’s perfect. We all know that bad habits are hard to break. The biggest thing for George in 2015 was that he fell in love. Yep, our boy is smitten with a younger gal named Mazy. Mazy is my mom’s puppy, and I warned George about her. She’s a puppy star of sorts, because she was in the Budweiser commercial that aired during the Super Bowl. I told him what we all know, that loving an actress can be tough. But this year, it seemed that old George captured little Mazy’s heart. They spent weeks together and when they had to part ways, I saw days of doggy depression. One of the only times George broke out of our fenced yard was the day after Mazy left; I think he was searching for her. While she is far too young for him (she isn’t even 1 yet!), I suppose age doesn’t matter when love comes into play. Love is love, and it rules over all else. KEEPING IT PAWSITIVE As I grow older, I’ve noticed that people find it harder and harder to maintain a positive outlook on life.

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by jacquelyn De Longe

Jacquelyn’s creative interests earned her a degree in fine art from Art Center College of Design, followed by years in the Los Angeles art world working for major galleries and prominent artists. She is regularly published in West Coast newspapers and magazines, in addition to working as a producer and director in the performing arts. She is an advocate for children’s art programs and, she is not afraid to dance down the aisle at the grocery store with her kids when Talking Heads plays overhead. Contact Jacquelyn at www.delongewrites.com.

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Women In Jeopardy!: Laughing in the Face of Danger

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Amanda (Sophie Ullett), ignores the advice of her mother’s friends, Jo (Annabelle Gurwitch) and Mary (Heather Ayers) (photo credit David Bazemore)

From the kitchen to the campsite, these friends stick together (photo credit David Bazemore)

Kenyon College and a MFA in playwriting from Yale School of Drama, I’m guessing you have always been passionate about theater. What is your first memory of watching a story play out before you? A. It’s actually a BA from Kenyon College, which is an important distinction. I’m all about the liberal arts. Oddly, my earliest theater memory is not about watching theater but about making theater. I was playing the Beast in a basement (my own) production of Beauty and The Beast, and I’d made a beard out of hair trimmings, applying them to my face with double-sided tape. At the climax, when I turned into the Prince, I remember dramatically ripping off my own fur. A suburban coup de theatre!

If only I had a life where I could spend eight hours a day writing! But I teach full-time, so I squeeze in an hour or two when I can. In the summers, which I spend in New Hampshire, I go to the public library from 10-1 every day in order to write. I like to write early in the day when I still have plenty of energy.

When did you know that playwright was a calling you had to follow? When I was first applying to grad school, I applied to various fiction programs, but when I went to visit one it seemed tweed-y and English department-y, and I knew I belonged among show people. I quickly sent off an application to the Playwriting program at Yale Drama School. It was the perfect synthesis of what I’d been doing – acting, directing, and writing.

I saw Women In Jeopardy! opening weekend at the Ensemble Theatre and highly recommend it to anyone I mention it to. You tactful and humorously played up some potentially uncomfortable concepts, especially with middle-aged women. Do you ever get nervous or unsure if maybe you are pushing it too far? When do you know when you’ve got it just right? My husband gets nervous that I’m pushing things too far, but it’s my default setting. I think that discomfort is what defines my comedy.

How many plays have you written? I honestly don’t know; it depends on whether you count short plays, one-act plays, and unproduced plays. I’ve written about a dozen full-length, produced plays. What is your writing practice like? (Ass in chair typing 8 hours a day, every day, or hyper-focused purging for 48 hours straight?)

You have also contributed to major publications, such as The New York Times and the Washington Post, do you find a lot of what you write about to parallel occurrences in your real life? What I write is almost always triggered by something that happened in real life, or by a story that someone has told me. But then you have to turn up the gas a bit.

So, if you are looking for some big side-splitting entertainment over the holiday season and Hollywood’s slapstick isn’t cutting it, there is nothing like a live stage performance to bring the action and the fun up-close, as with Wendy MacLeod’s Women In Jeopardy! I can’t wait to see what she brings us next year!

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5 ThingsYouDidn’tKnowAbout:

Q&A

WRITER AND PERFORMER POLLY FROST

enowned writer, artist, and self-proclaimed “Goleta Girl” Polly Frost is bringing her artistry from the West Village of NYC back home for one night only. Her newest one-woman show, We Only Get One Father: So Why Was I Given Mine? takes place 3 pm on Sunday, January 10, at Buttonwood Farm Winery & Vineyard. Good things happen to those who don’t wait – reservations only, so get bookin’. 1. Santa Barbara has been part of my life forever. My parents bought a house in 1961 in Goleta built by Frank Robinson, a member of the wild Mountain Drive scene and who one day showed for work in nothing but pirate boots. I’ve been a writer in New York City since the 1980s, but still consider myself a Goleta Girl. 2. As a teenager in Santa Barbara during the Free Love late 60s, I had numerous crushes on hippie dudes, but never liked their taste in music. At 17, I preferred J.S. Bach and the Velvet Underground to Crosby, Stills and Nash. 3. I went to San Marcos High, but my real learning took place elsewhere. One of the best educations I got was at the movie marathons regularly held at that time. I’d watch five Ingmar Bergman movies at the Riviera, or go to the drive-In for an all-nighter of Roger Corman. If I was lucky, captain Joel Honey would shine his flashlight on the car I was in to make sure I wasn’t getting high or making out. Of course, I was! But I also studied the screen. My Santa Barbara movie education served me well. I supported myself in NYC as a film reviewer and became close friends with the movie critic Pauline Kael, who introduced me to my husband, Ray Sawhill.

WITH MIKE MONTALI OF HOLLIS BROWN e saw New York-based band Hollis Brown W open for the Counting Crows and Citizen Cope at the Santa Barbara Bowl, we’ve been

jamming out to their new album, 3 Shots, and mildly stalking them on Instagram. This interview was conducted backstage after Hollis Brown’s performance. Since the interview, the band has completed a full U.S. and European tour with more shows on the calendar to come.

4. Santa Barbara City College is one of the best schools ever. Whenever people in New York City brag about having gone to Harvard or Yale, I proudly announce I went to SBCC. If they ask what the hell that is, I tell ‘em that while they froze their butts off in New England, I went to class on the beach. 5. Our neighborhood in NYC has some of the greatest restaurants in the world, but it doesn’t have Harry’s, the Tee-Off, or Sly’s or The Imperial bar. We head to those places soon as we can. Nice to walk in the door at Harry’s be greeted with “Welcome back, Polly. I’ll get your Pinot Grigio for you right away.” We Only Get One Father: So Why Was I Given Mine? by Polly Frost Sunday, January 10, 2016, at 3 pm Buttonwood Winery 1500 Alamo Pintado Road, Solvang By reservation only: pollyfrost@me.com, (805) 450-9955, or pollyfrost.com Tickets are $15 per person. (Wine for purchase during the show.)

Sublime Spaces ONE STOP, POP-UP SHOP

oin Isabella Gourmet Foods, Cultivate Events, and local entrepreneurial incubator Impact Hub Santa Barbara for a weekend of local goodness at the Jingle SB Pop-up Holiday Market from December 18-20 at 1117 State Street. If you can’t make it, it’s all good! Isabella Gourmet has the participating food vendors such as Taste of Ojai (shown here), Exotic Spice Co., Santa Barbara Fudge, Pacific Pickle Works, and more in her shop 365 days a year.

Isabella Gourmet Foods 5 East Figueroa Street, Santa Barbara Instagram: @isabellagourmet www.isabellagourmetfoods.com For more information about this event, visit JingleSB on Facebook or contact Amy Isabella Chalker at info@isabellagourmetfoods.com

Q: So how was it? Playing here? A: This is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been to. Definitely top three for me in this tour. What are the other two? Wolf Trap was really nice in Vienna. Wow! (laughing) No, not Vienna, Vienna. It’s in Virginia, near Washington, D.C. Oh, whoops. I got it. The other was Red Rocks. This has been an incredible tour. We (will have) toured the whole country with the Counting Crows, 40-something shows. How the hell did that happen? Jumping on board with the Counting Crows? I had met Adam Duritz because he was a fan of our first record, so I sent our album called 3 Shots to him. Then we played a showcase called The Outlaw Road Show, so I sent him the record and he really liked it. He asked what we were planning on doing, and I told him we have a pretty good following overseas in Europe and we do pretty good out there. I told him we didn’t really have much in America and we’re lookin’ to hop on a tour. He said, “Why don’t you come on tour with us?” And there it is. It seemed like it took just a month to get together, but it was cultivation over a long time of just knowing someone. And karma! Yeah, karma. And hopefully music, because he’s a huge music fan. And so are we all. So are you, hopefully. Most def. Hollis Brown Their album 3 Shots is available on iTunes Instagram: @hollisbrownmusic www.hollisbrown.com

IHeart SB

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BY Elizabeth Rose

I Heart SB is a social experiment in dating and relationships through stories shared with and experienced by a thirty-something living in the Greater Santa Barbara area. All stories herein are based on actual events. Some names, places, and timelines have been altered to preserve anonymity and, most of all, for your reading enjoyment. Submit stories (maximum 700 words) to letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

REAL TALK

he last column got me thinking more about communication. I reflected back to one of the best dates I’ve been on, and it was with a gentleman from Argentina (my soon-to-be lover, as discussed in Volume 4, Issue 18). We met on Butterfly Beach in passing, as I headed to my car at the top of the stairs to grab an extra blanket. He’s asked my name. I could tell he was young (25 maybe?), but his thick accent was adorable, and I didn’t mind the attention. After a couple where-are-you-from’s, I excused myself to grab what I needed. As I made my way back to the beach, Mr. Argentina was heading up the stairs to leave. “Elizabeth!,” he said with his sexy accent. “I have to leave, but this is for you!” He handed me a piece of paper, folded up into a little square. He squeezed my hand, winked, then airkissed me goodbye. I giggled. If an American guy did that, it would have been a corny. But since he was from another country, it was endearing. I skipped down the stairs and spotted a $20 bill at my feet. I took it as a good sign. I waited until I got home to read the note: “You are the most beatufiul girl in SB! Would you like to go to dinner with me?” Beneath, a smiley face and two options to choose from, “Yes” or “No”. Cute. This was obviously a line, but it was good one so I went for it. I called three days later. “Elizabeth! I’ve been waiting for your call!” He asks if I’d like to go to dinner at Cadiz on a Monday night. I like that he had a plan and was direct in asking me out. It’s refreshing not to have a guy

beat around the bush for an awkward phone conversation before getting to the point. Clear and concise. Monday night, I donned my favorite kelly-green dress and checked my lipstick in the rearview mirror before exiting the car. I felt good and ready for the date, but as I crossed the street toward the restaurant, it suddenly hit: we may not have anything to talk about. I didn’t know this guy from Adam and our few-sentences exchange from the beach, via phone, and a hand-written note harldy added up to a confident encounter. But it’s too late now. Not to mention I caught a glimpse of him waiting at a front table, and he was even cuter than I remembered. We’d figure it out. He stood up to greet me with a kiss on the cheek and pulled out my chair. He ordered us red wine and diver scallops to start. I was surprised how the conversation flowed. Coloquialisms and witty banter out the window, we were left with what simple English he could speak and what little Spanish I could remember. We talked about his job and why he quit to live in the states. We discussed politics, cultural differences and similarities, and what we want for the future. It was one of the most honest conversations I’ve ever experienced on a date, and it was due to the fact that we had no other choice than to be direct with each other in order to understand. Just two people from different parts of the world sharing thoughts and ideas. It made me realize that limited communication is key, and I try to carry that with me today. Quality over quantity always seems to win.

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SYVSNAPSHOT

by Eva Van Prooyen Keeping a finger on the pulse of the Santa Ynez Valley: what to eat, where to go, who to meet, and what to drink. Pretty much everything and anything situated between the Santa Ynez and San Rafael Mountains that could tickle one’s interest.

Tiny Bubbles for a Foxy New Year

t goes by many names – Champagne, Sparking Wine, Bubbly, Champers, and my personal Willy Wonka-inspired favorite – Fizzy Lifting Drink. California sparking wine cannot be called Champagne as it is not made in the Champagne region of France. There are four main methods of sparkling wine production: the first is simple injection of carbon dioxide (CO2), a process used for soft drinks and club soda. The second is the “Metodo Martinotti” created and patented by Italian Federico Martinotti (1860-1924) and adapted by Eugène Charmat in 1907, in which the wine undergoes a secondary fermentation in bulk tanks, and is bottled under pressure. This method is used for Prosecco in particular. The third technique is the traditional method or méthode champenoise. With this method, the effervescence is produced by secondary fermentation in the bottle. As the name suggests, this is used for the production of Champagne, but is slightly more expensive than the Charmat process. The fourth process is the “transfer method.” This method take the wine to bottle for secondary fermentation, which allows for the additional complexity, but then will transfer the wine out of the individual bottles into a larger tank after it has spent the desired amount of time on yeast. Many, if not most, of the sparking wines produced in the Valley use the traditional and delicious méthode champenoise. There are around 30 winemakers producing a sparkling wine in Santa Barbara County. Recently, self-proclaimed eater, drinker, traveller, and local bubble obsessed Liz Dodder, designed Santa Barbara County’s first ever Sparkling Wine Guide that can be found at www. calicoastwinecountry.com. Bubbles not to be missed in and around the Valley include: Brewer Clifton – Blanc de Blancs, Sea Smoke – Sea Spray, Lucas Lewellen – Sparkling Wine, Flying Goat – Goat Bubbles, Casa Dumtez - Sonja’s Suds, Riverbench – Cork Jumper Blanc de Blancs, Fiddlehead – Blanc de Noirs, Vincent Vineyards – Sparkling Brut and Rosé, and Blair Fox – Foxy Bubbles. Santa Barbara native, Blair Fox, of Blair Fox Cellars says, “Foxy Bubbles is a sparkling rosé of Grenache harvested from the Fox Family Vineyard at very low sugars with the intention of making a bright, crisp, and enjoyable sparkling wine. The light-pink color comes from a short duration of skin contact after which the “free run” juice was bled off and barrel fermented in four French Oak barrels.” Only 100 cases were produced. Blair Fox Cellars has a (dog-friendly) boutique tasting room in Los Olivos located at 2902 San Marcos Avenue, Suite B.

Eva’s Top Faves:

My personal picks, best bets, hot tips, save the dates, and things not to miss! Annual Christmas Tree Burn

he 12 days of Christmas officially ends on Tuesday, January 5, which gives you enough time to dismantle your tree and put away the festive decorations and to lug your tree down to the annual Solvang Christmas Tree Burn in the fields at Old Mission Santa Ines. Coordinated by the Solvang Parks & Recreation Department, this popular annual event is supervised by the Santa Barbara County Fire Department as one of the largest fire safety demonstrations and community gatherings on California’s Central Coast. There will be free, live entertainment as well as food trucks and refreshments for purchase. All area residents are invited to bring their tree (stands and ornaments must be removed) to the burn pile. When: Friday, January 8, from 5 to 7 pm Where: Old Mission Santa Ines, 1760 Mission Drive in downtown Solvang Cost: Free Info: (805) 688-PLAY

Cachuma Lake – Wildlife Cruise

early every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, Santa Barbara County Park Naturalists lead two-hour cruises that focus on deer and other local wildlife, resident nesting hawks, herons, and songbirds, flora, cultural history, and geology. When: January1, 2, 3, 8, 9, and 10. Fridays 3 to 5 pm, Saturdays 10 am to 12 pm and 3 to 5 pm, and Sundays 10 am to noon. Where: Cachuma Lake, Hwy 154, Solvang Cost: $15/adults, $7/kids (4-12 years old; please, no children under 4). Info: (805) 693-0691

Robert Cray Live

lues artists, Robert Cray, will blend his signature elements of rhythm and blues, pop, and traditional blues, for your acoustical concert going pleasure at an upcoming performance on January 21. Cray has 16 albums to his credit and created a contemporary blues sound that has earned him five Grammy Awards. Popular opinion from those who have seen Cray laud him for “talented guitar skills, rich voice, nailing every note, tight band performance, and he has the audience singing along.” Come see him perform hits such as “Bad Influence”, “Strong Persuader”, and more. When: Thursday, January 21, at 8 pm Where: Chumash Casino Resort, 3400 HWY 246 in Santa Ynez Cost: $20 per ticket Info: (800) 248.6274 www.chumashcasino.com

Sixth Annual SYV Restaurant Week

his Valley weeklong food lovers’ utopia features more than 20 participating restaurants flaunting creative gourmet dinners, wine-pairing specials, and exclusive seasonal offerings. Chefs and restaurateurs showcase their tastes and talents by offering three-course tasting menus for $20.15 (excluding tax, tip and beverages). Wine fans interested in wine tasting during SYV Restaurant Week will be happy to find several tasting rooms and wineries offering special wine and small bite pairings, too. When: January 25 through January 31 Where: All throughout Santa Ynez Valley Info: (805) 686-0053

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t’s a winter wonder-wine-land. For $40, you sip your way through the boutique wineries of Santa Ynez Valley by arming yourself with a winter wine tasting pass. Pass-holders receive one wine tasting at 15 Santa Ynez Valley Wine Country Association tasting rooms, which calculates out to at least a $150 value. No reservations required and no blackout dates. Your pass will expire when you’ve tasted at all 15 tasting rooms, or on January 31 – whichever occurs first. The Santa Ynez Valley Wine Country Association represents boutique wineries in Los Olivos, Santa Ynez, Solvang, and Buellton, and participating wineries include: Alexander & Wayne, Arthur Earl, The Brander Vineyard, Buttonwood Farm Winery, Casa Cassara Wines, Daniel Gehrs Wines, Dreamcôte Wine Company, Imagine Wine, Kalyra Winery, Lincourt Vineyards, Lucas & Lewellen, Lucky Dogg Winery, Rideau Vineyard, Standing Sun Wines, and Toccata Wines. When: Now through January 31 Where: Throughout Santa Ynez wine country Cost: $40 per person Info: www.santaynezwinecountry.com

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Santa Barbara Botanic Garden

Give the Gift of Education with Mark Léisuré

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Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

BASSH, Lights, and All That Jazz

aybe it’s time to change the name of this column. I’m still all man, of course, but I’m not doing such a great job living up to the “about town” part in recent times. Your once intrepid columnist whose friends constantly refer to him as “the guy who reviews all the shows in Santa Barbara” has not made it all that many events the past couple of months. I’ve been felled by illness, restricted by other obligations, and suffering as the victim of no small measure of apathy. That’s not meant to be a reflection of the quality of events available in our area – though in all honesty I’d be just fine with, you know, perhaps only one version of The Nutcracker and/or A Christmas Carol every December. But I did make it out to see BASSH redux the other day, when the dance extravaganza repeated its performances from the New Vic over at La Cumbre Junior High’s auditorium. Creator/ producer Derrick Curtis has done a fine job transitioning the thing from its beginning under the auspices of the Santa Barbara Dance Alliance to a even more community-involved production. There are a lot of great social dancers in this town, and it’s both gratifying and inspiring to see them strut their stuff on stage with such enthusiasm and skill. Looking forward, I’ve got to cover four weeks with this column, so let’s run through this first weekend – when the last of the holiday shows take place – quickly. Ventura Harbor’s Parade of Lights, which puts ours to shame, is a two-day affair (December 19-20) with lots of other activities, and lots of boats. Venice does its annual Christmas concert at SOhO also that Saturday, which is when roots rock band Claude Hopper’s Annual Hollerday show takes place at Cold Spring Tavern. There’s a damn good jazz show coming to SOhO on Sunday, December 27, the Gerry Gibbs Thrasher Trio, which features the drummer jamming with the great Billy Childs on piano and Hamilton Price on bass. Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven – David Lowery’s projects when he’s not bashing Pandora and all those other Internet services that don’t believe in paying artists royalties – return to the Lobero the next night as part of their annual late

Carpinteria resident Conan O’Brien is slated for Arlington Theatre in April (photo by Gage Skidmore)

December tour of the West Coast. We’re skipping New Year’s Eve, because there’s way too much to cover and you probably already know what you’re doing. But we will offer one alternative idea, one that is probably a whole lot healthier than rocking out in some club or drinking to excess, especially in light of current world events: La Casa de Maria in Montecito hosts its annual Interfaith Contemplative New Year’s Eve from 10 pm to midnight, where you can spend a mindful two hours preparing for greeting 2016 with quiet intention, including walking the labyrinth and sharing interfaith reflections and meditations. One of my fave-rave local singersongwriters Nathan McEuen, brother of Jonathan and son of Nitty Gritty Dirt Band cofounder John McEuen, shares a bill with Natalie Gelman at the superintimate Cambridge Drive Concert Series in Goleta on January 8. Down the road apiece, UCSB has announced an added show with Conan O’Brien, set for April 16 at the Arlington Theatre. He’s not my favorite late-night talk show host, but the dude’s still popular even if he got screwed in that whole Tonight Show deal. Ticket sales began December 18, so get cracking if you want good seats. And one final item about Arts & Lectures. The program was one of at least three local organizations to grab a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts in the once-controversial government agency’s latest round of awards. UCSB nabbed $25,000, another $20K went to the Music Academy of the West, and the Ojai Playwrights Conference pulled down $10,000. So look, that’s $55,000 less that our own philanthropists have to fork over to keep these fine program running. (Just kidding, they still want all those local donations, too!)

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CINEMA SCOPE

by James Luksic A longtime writer, editor and film critic, James has worked

nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his eighth state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast, you can find James writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

All the Best

s this column’s regular readers already know, I consider 2015 as the best year in cinema arguably in the past decade; now it’s time for an explanation – along with a list of beloveds that has enlarged to a concrete dozen. And that is before the encouraging Youth, The Big Short, Joy, The Hateful Eight, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, The Danish Girl, and The Revenant, whose ubiquitous trailers lead one to believe most of those pictures could claw their way into “Best of...” compilations. By contrast, a pair of current releases – though neither is mediocre – shouldn’t appear among conscientious critic’s darlings: Krampus is viable and generally unique (aside from Gremlinslike moments), juggling an assortment of cool, creepy sequences with quips and tender touches. In the Heart of the Sea, one of Ron Howard’s soggier efforts, plumbs the depths of Herman Melville’s Moby Dick with Chris Hemsworth (almost as imposing as the highlighted whale) often directed to pose as if taping an Old Spice commercial while he gazes firmly at the ocean. Now, tastier fish to fry: It seems unlikely, if not impossible, to find fellow reviewers or cinephiles who would embrace Child 44 among their favorite 44; naysayers labeled it “bleak” and “depressing” – as if a political crime-drama (set in the Soviet Union circa 1950) about a kids’ killer was supposed to be an uplifting crowd-pleaser? In the face of detractors, I found Child 44 impeccably crafted with supreme cinematography, expertly acted, and entertaining for its genre. Meanwhile, Black Mass caused pause on this end, not because the biopic about mobster Whitey Bulger isn’t commendable, serious-minded, and sharp-edged, but because it never distinguished itself from GoodFellas and Mystic River, both superior standard-bearers. Sad to report, not one comedy qualified (too bad the Coen brothers’ Hail, Caesar! couldn’t arrive before January) among my favorite 25 movies. As the saying goes, comedy is hard – and apparently getting more difficult.

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The most-admired dozen of a robust 2015: Sicario Love & Mercy Spotlight Ex Machina Steve Jobs Bridge of Spies Amy Pawn Sacrifice Trumbo Straight Outta Compton Child 44 Brooklyn Not quite making the cut above but honorable enough to mention: Black Mass, Suffragette, The Martian, Everest, Far From the Maddening Crowd, Mr Holmes, Crimson Peak, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Gift, Chi-Raq, San Andreas, The Diary of a Teenage Girl, and 99 Homes. At the opposite end – as unconvincing, pretentious, silly, and sloppy as anything Hollywood unleashed during the last 12 months: No Escape, The Gallows, Hot Pursuit, Vacation (a misnomer for audiences), Mistress America, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, Secret in Their Eyes, Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension, and The Visit.

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Bathing Beauty

ednesday morning, and the bottom dropped out. Heartbreaking news came over the wire and the only way to emote is out of my eyeballs. Through silent tears, a reminder on my phone brought hope. Tonight, I would partake in “Sound Healing” (also known as a sound bath) with instructor Shane Chunephisal. According to Shane, sound therapy utilizes sound waves to, “cleanse mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual bodies of any stress or blockage.” That being the case, Sound Healing at Salt Cave Santa Barbara couldn’t happen fast enough. The cave is inviting. The pink salt gravels the floor, tiles the walls, and

Sound and Energy healer Shane Chunephisal at Salt Cave Santa Barbara surrounded by custom quartz crystal and gemstone blended singing bowls. The trace gemstone minerals contribute to unique healing properties, which vary from bowl to bowl.

Powdered gemstones (such as sapphire, emerald, ruby, and amethyst) are added to separate molds for additional healing properties which come from the trace mineral. Shane clarifies the gemstones do not affect the way the bowl sounds, but the way it feels on your body and spirit. Silence, then a choir of singing bowls fill the room. After several minutes, I am able to calm my “monkey mind,” and start to feel vibrations in my legs and feet – the parts of my body which previously held pain. The energy is moving, and I feel a release. The 75-minute session went by in what felt like half an hour. Once awakened from a semi-tranced state, I say goodbye. Per Shane’s advice, I make The warm glow of the largest Himalayan salt cave in North America, located at Salt Cave Santa Barbara on State Street (Photo: Salt Cave Santa Barbara)

Sound and Energy healer Shane Chunephisal exhibits how sound is created through the quartz crystal singing bowls at Salt Cave Santa Barbara. (Photo: Salt Cave Santa Barbara)

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suspends above by wire netting, creating a warm and comforting glow. (This cave also happens to be the largest Himalayan salt cave in North America.) I’m greeted and instructed to grab a few blankets before entering – one for the ground and one to cover up – and to leave my shoes at the door. You may lie and/or sit on the ground, rest in a zerogravity chair, or move around as needed. The most effective position is directing your head toward the bowls. Knowing this, I post up front and center. After a few minutes, the door closes and the session begins. Shane explains the bowls (also known as “singing bowls”) are made by melting down clear quartz silica, then shaped into molds into different sizes and tuned digitally after having solidified into an instrument.

a note to examine myself over the next few days. The noise in my head has quieted, and I seem in a more conscious and thoughtful space. Lying in bed that evening, the train whistle and sound of the wind outside my window evoke memories of the singing bowls – a comforting hum that can be found everywhere if you listen closely enough. The next morning, I wake from a clear night’s rest and deep sleep. The noise was gone. The monkey mind settled, and an overwhelming feeling of acceptance and surrender to the unknown took its place. Salt Cave Santa Barbara 740 State Street, Santa Barbara (805) 963-7258 Instagram: @saltcavesb http://www.saltcavesb.com

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Sensual Healing

n the lounge at Alchemy Wellness Spa, I study the Dosha questionnaire. Answering will customize the Ayurvedic treatment and massage I am to receive. A little background: Ayurvedic medicine was developed thousands of years ago in India with the belief that whole-body wellness depends on balance between the mind, body, and spirit. Stemming from the five elements, the three doshas (or mind-body types) are Vata (space and air), Pitta (fire and water), and Kapha (earth and water), and are believed to circulate in the body and regulate physiological activity. Balanced doshas are to key to overall mental and physical wellbeing. The questionnaire is enlightening, offering options to describe “Typical hunger level,” “Emotional moods,” and “Preferred climate.” Eighteen questions in total, I discover Vata is my dosha of dominance. Lead certified massage therapist Lizzy McCahan collects my answers and leads me upstairs to change into a robe and settle in. Once face-down on the massage table, cozy under the warm blankets, ecstasy begins. Lizzy uses a certain oil to accommodate my needs, one fused with herbs for the specific Vata experience. Sneha is a Sanskrit word meaning both “oil” and “love,” and the effects of an oil massage are said to equate being saturated with love. It can be received in many physical and emotional ways – and I get the memo. Subtle touch is the main focus of the Vata massage and subtlety can be powerful and overwhelming. The slightest touch in certain points on my back and legs creates a warm rush throughout my body, more intense and deeper than any previously experienced deep tissue or traditional massage. I feel the knots liquefy as her fingertips glide up and down tense muscles. The feeling of gentle kneading around my shoulders can only be described as if my muscles were making out with each other. It’s powerful from head to toe – my divine feminine spirit is feels awakened. After my hour-long Nirvana, I reluctantly bring myself back to Earth. I re-dress into civilian attire and head down to Alchemy’s café for food and drinks specific to balancing Vata. First, a tall shot of the Viridim Elixir, which expels “toxin buildup, encourages alkalinity, supports deep greens nourishment and higher enzymatic function”. Next, the main course of Mung Bean Kitchari, a traditional Ayurvedic dish made with organic mung beans and quinoa, fresh almond milk, steamed vegetables, lime, cilantro, and healing spices. Hot water with lemon, pressed veggie pulp and flax

seed crackers with coconut butter, and a demitasse cup of the green vegetable soup with healing spices polish off the personalized experience. Too calm to be overwhelmed by impending deadlines and too loose to care, I leave satisfied, soothed, and in a dream-like state.

hat time is it? I awoke from a nap and it’s nearly dark. The Alchemy session must have knocked me out. Checking the clock, I had just enough time to throw on workout clothes, grab my shoes, and head out the door. It was time for Pilates at Fit Buddha Evolutionary Fitness, a place and practice both new to me. Nestled in the tree-shady circle near the corner of Gutierrez and State streets, Fit Buddha is a cozy space stocked with 11 “Megaformer” Pilates machines and a separate just-enough-space room for spinning. (After quick research, I learn the Megaformer is a Pilates machine on steroids, built by French former bodybuilder Sebastien Lagree as a means to up his weight-training and Pilates game.) I meet instructor Marcia Reed, a 66 years young woman with a killer body and kind smile. She hands me a form to fill out and directs me to cubbies to put my belongings. With

Tranquil surroundings and the site of my Ayurvedic massage at Alchemy Wellness Spa. Heaven is a place on the corner of West Haley and Chapala streets.

Alchemy Wellnesss Spa 35 West Haley Street, Santa Barbara (805) 899-8811 Instagram: alchemysb www.alchemywellnessspa.com

Smooth Moves

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Low-impact ab work in progress with Fit Buddha Evolutionary Fitness’s Megaformer Pilates machines (Photo: Fit Buddha Evolutionary Fitness)

socks and shoes off, we each pick our zone and prepare for battle. We begin our first set by getting into position just before hearing the magic words, “Now repeat for ten seconds.” Ten seconds seems doable. Ten is a number that keeps the faith. Tension on the machine increases or decreases depending on the springs engaged. (During our session, we adjusted spring levels about three times.) The slide factor brings some fun into

the challenging situation. Although your arms, abs, and muscles you’ve never met before start quivering, gliding makes you feel you’re really moving. The other feel-like-you-can-doit factor is, the Boomer Buddha Megaformer class we’re in is only 40 minutes long – obtainable and great for busy schedules. As we push and sweat through minutes, ...continued p.34

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...continued from p.33

The small-but-mighty spin room off the main studio at Fit Buddha Evolutionary Fitness (Photo: Fit Buddha Evolutionary Fitness)

Instructor Marcia Reed demonstrating the Elevator Lunge on the Megaformer Pilates machine in perfect form

Marcia is attentive and constantly checking in, changing machines as needed to give students the best view for instruction. I hear the words “core” and “oblique” a lot, but it is said Pilates works 600 muscles in the body. The way I feel one hour after class, I believe it.

It’s warm, like bath water, and feels amazing. I take one more look around at the stunning scenery and my eyes catch the sun-kissed mountaintops. This is insane, I tell myself. There’s something magical about a morning swim in an outdoor pool in the middle of December that’s hard to beat. I shake my head, smile in gratitude, and turn to gaze at the vaporous lane ahead. I take a deep breath, submerge under the water, press my feet firmly against the wall, and leap weightlessly forward. After the 30-minute swim, I do a little digging. I was surprised to learn the “Y” is a nonprofit that offers scholarships and financial assistance to keep fitness and wellness available to all demographics. Membership grants you access to all equipment, pool, classes, most programs, and three onehour sessions with a personal trainer to name a few. No surprise, family, teen, and child care programs are at the heart of the Y, and they’ve opened up their services to include a partnership with LIVESTRONG, offering small group programs for adult cancer survivors twice a week. The Montecito location is quaint and classic, while the downtown location is quite notably bigger, sizing

Fit Buddha Evolutionary Fitness 330 State Street, Santa Barbara (805) 901-3440 Instagram: @fitbuddha.sb www.fitbuddhafitness.com

Generation “Y”

tanding at the edge of the pool, I inhale deeply. The scent of chlorine draws memories of swim practice as a child. It’s 6:27 a.m. and the sunlight is just penetrating the sky, breaking the atmosphere into pink, grey, and golden clouds. The beauty above reflects in the pool below, and it’s a stunning sight to see. The 83-degree water meets the cool, dry air and lightly steams above the swimmers in each lane. I place my new goggles around my head, freshly bought from the Montecito YMCA’s front desk, and secure the lenses comfortably around my eyes. I lower into the pool.

Havin’ a good time: Montecito Family YMCA offers many programs for families, children, and individuals alike (Photo: Montecito Family YMCA)

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up to a large high school. Another bonus to joining the Y? Membership means you gain access to any YMCA in the country up to six times each month.

you’re doing it right, then I’m doing freakin’ awesome. Through sweat, short exhales, and quivering bodies, big smiles, and keep-up-the-goodwork nods are exchanged with other ladies around the room. We’re in it together. Mystery muscles become hot and worked as we rotate moves to target different muscle groups. “And pulse, and pulse... five more to go!,”

Montecito Family YMCA 591 Santa Rosa Lane, Santa Barbara (805) 969-3288 www.ciymca.org/montecito Santa Barbara Family YMCA 36 Hitchcock Way, Santa Barbara (805) 687-7727 www.ciymca.org/santabarbara

Eros Zhao

Kendall encourages. She’s constantly making rounds to adjust posture, give advice, praise our efforts, and checkin when needed. Pulsating, holding, and balancing against your own body weight is hard, tough, potent, and effective. Though I have been active all week, this particular workout felt ...continued p.36

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Belly up to the Bar

’m running late, of course. Not my favorite impression to make. I open the doors to Bar Method and haul to the dressing room. I unlatch an empty locker and I throw in my bag. Dang, this is nice! The chandeliers above sparkle against the white backdrop, creating a crisp and clean girly atmosphere. I close the door, turn the key, and dash down the hall, but not before shoving a pair of socks on my feet before I enter the studio to find a spot. The plush, cream carpet feels dreamy underfoot. At that moment, Kendall Clark, owner of The Bar Method, bounces into the room. Kendall is a beautiful

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Kendall Clark, the attentive Bar Method owner, modifying form for safety and optimum results. (Photo: The Bar Method)

blonde with a bright encouraging smile and infectious energy. We get moving and I quickly realize this is no joke – my respect for all ballerinas increases a hundredfold. Either side of the room is lined with a ballet barre – one of the main props used throughout the class. The trick is to hold your body still while contracting certain sets of muscles. Coupled this with high reps of small range-ofmotion, and long, lean muscles will be yours. If shaking legs and arms mean

“Picasso”

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Social Circles

The pristine and uber-fem locker room at The Bar Method in La Cumbre Plaza

eer on tap and a wine selection. This is not like any gym I’ve ever been to. And that’s exactly how SWELL (also known as the Santa Barbara Athletic Club) likes it. After mild confusion and pure delight in this revelation, I check in at reception and beeline to the Hip Hop class in Studio 1 – one of 90-plus group

classes scheduled each week (including Cancer Well-Fit program for survivors to build back strength.) Instructor Tamarr Paul enters the studio and dims the lights. Playing a slow tune (Justin Bieber’s “Love Yourself”), he guides us through deep stretches, holding for several beats to ...continued p.38

MAKE IT REIGN

Nuance

different, and I noticed a slightly toner frame when checking myself out in the mirror later that day. Nice. The final stretches at the end of class are a sweet reward from the workout that kicked my soon-to-be-toned butt.

leverly titled Purple Reign, this sherbet-purple drink is creamy, smooth, and refreshing. Presented in a coupe glass (which has been chilled with liquid nitrogen for optimum coolness), the mix of gin, fresh lemon, purple stoke sweet potatoes, special bitters, and an orange twist creates a concoction that evokes love at first sip.

Long and lean doesn’t come easy. Owner Kendall Clark guides the class through one of the many core exercises at The Bar Method. (Photo: The Bar Method)

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WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER

Nuance

nspired by seasonal fruits and veggies, chef Courtney Ladin’s spin on roasted chicken is anything but ordinary. Celery root purée and nutmeg-infused onions grounds the dish with earthy notes while charred persimmons and cranberry gravy lightens it up with a tart and sweet twist. Order Mary’s Organic Roasted Chicken for a savory meal to warm your belly. Nuance 119 State Street, Santa Barbara (805) 845-0989 Instagram: @nuance_sb nuancesb.com

STRONGER SELF FOR ‘16

OsteoStrong

he professionally trained staff at OsteoStrong Santa Barbara are dedicated to helping you increase your bone density, improve your strength and stamina, and decrease your fall risks through better balance and agility, naturally. Managers Minnie Weighill and Shelly Elnicky (shown here) are ready to help you “age backwards” at the OsteoStrong center. Call for a free bone scan and session, and start 2016 off the healthy way!

The grand reception at SWELL off Castillo Street. Five steps to the left bring you to beer on tap at this not-youraverage-gym social club. (Photo: Andrea Lorimor)

really get in there good. It’s peaceful and soothing but soon enough, things start gettin’ real. Tamarr flips the lights and switches the music to a head-bobbing beat. “And 5, 6, 7, 8...” He performs the

SWELL’s Earthbar offers smoothies, fresh to-go options from Silvergreens, and a place to watch the game. Beer and Wine included. (Photo: Andrea Lorimor)

first three counts as we watch, sans blinking. Now it’s our turn. We repeat the moves three or for times until we all cohesively “get it,” then start from the top. Add more steps. Start from the top. Add more steps. Repeat. Repeat. The routine gets longer and the music faster. Don’t worry about making a fool of yourself, because every one is too concerned about nailing the routine to notice. The workout sneaks up without warning and time flies because it’s a blast. “Come on! Push!,” Tamarr screams. “You got this!” His words stimulate and motivate us to keep up the pace. Before I know it, an hour is gone, I’m beet-red in the face, and I feel great. Each week is a new routine, which is awesome because I’m looking to “up” my EOS game. Sweaty and feeling accomplished, I hit the showers. All the amenities are available in the ladies locker room, and this rules because I forgot the get-the-stank-offme essentials at home. As I walk past the Earthbar (source of the previously mentioned wine and beer; they also have smoothies, freshpressed juices, and grab-n-go organic food from Silvergreens), a group of about 10 dudes crowd around the bar, drinking beer, and watching “the game.” (On that note, I saw lots of good-looking people roaming the

OsteoStrong (805) 453-6086 2277 Las Positas Road www.osteostrong.me halls. Calling all singles: this could be a great place to meet like-minded and consciously fit locals.) With a multitude of classes to choose from, and a social scene/workout facility that is second to none, SWELL has us saying, “Bottoms up” in more ways than one. SWELL - Santa Barbara Athletic Club 520 Castillo St, Santa Barbara (805) 966-6147 SWELL – Cathedral Oaks Athletic Club 5800 Cathedral Oaks Road, Goleta (805) 964-7762 Instagram: @santa_barbara_athletic_club www.sbac.swellclubs.com

All’s Well That Ends Well

hat I learned most through this whole experience is no matter what you decide, doing anything is better than nothing at all. Start with walking one block a day (or even back and forth from one side of the room to the other) and go from there. If joining a club, group, or class doesn’t speak to you, there’s always the library to rent exercise DVDs or even YouTube to stream workouts on command. Besides weight-loss, improving health conditions, improving mood, boosting energy, better sleep, and possibly a better sex life, making a move – any move – gets us one step closer to our better selves. All we have to do is try.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

D E C 1 9 | 2 0 1 5 – JA N 1 5 | 2 0 1 6 |

Discover something for yourself or the wine lover in your life this holiday season at WINE + BEER. . PERFECT PAIRINGS

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