THIS IS THE END by Montecito Journal

JIMMY LIKEY MOVIES

WELL, SOME OF THEM, ANYWAY. HERE ARE THE FILMS FROM THE LAST 12 MONTHS YOU SHOULD EITHER WATCH NOW OR AVOID AT ALL COST, P. 35

STUCK IN THE ZONE

HELP! OUR FUNK ZONE COLUMNIST IS TRAPPED IN AN ELEVATOR AND FLASHING BACK TO THE HIGHLIGHTS OF 2013! P. 12

OUR TALKING HEAD

THE WEEKLY CAPITALIST TRACKS THE POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC TRENDS OF THE PAST YEAR – AND IT AIN’T LOOKIN’ GOOD GOIN’ FORWARD, P. 26

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THIS IS THE END

photo by Corey Sanders

AS THE SUN SETS ON 2013, MATT GETS REFLECTIVE WITH A SWEATY NAKED MAN IN A SAUNA AND STEADIES HIMSELF FOR THE YEAR AHEAD

IN THE HOT SEAT

by Matt Mazza

think deep thoughts in the sauna. I can’t say why, exactly, but I consistently find myself perhaps most reflective when packed into a small sweltering room filled with half-naked sweaty men, staring blankly at a wall of Western Red

15 DAYS A WEEK PAGE 10

Cedar, donning effectively nothing more than a loincloth. And so it was this past weekend. I’d just finished a terrific mountain bike ride with a reasonably motley crew of local off-roaders I’d met just hours before. (I mean that only in the most respectful and brotherly way; great bunch of guys.) They’d reached out and asked me to

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meet up for a ride a couple months ago after reading Into the Wild (Vol. 2, Issue 37), the story of how my father-in-law’s inadvertent destruction of my prized Rocky Mountain led me to pedal over Romero Canyon, camp in the backcountry and buy a new bike. We spent a few hours riding pretty damned hard, ...continued p.24

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Content COVER

P.6

Mazza’s Missive – EIC Matt loves chatting about his work with other naked men. Wait. Matt loves talking about Tahoe with other dudes in loincloths. Wait. He likes to get schvitzed over a copy of the Sentinel. Okay, let’s start over: Our esteemed Editor-inChief takes a look back at 2013. (While wearing a loincloth.)

C rimetime – Inebriation, intoxication, urination. It’s kind of like every other edition of Crimetime, but this one also has an unwanted Anthony Weiner and a Drunk-Fu master. Here it is: The worst of the column that you love or love to hate. (Or just hate, if we’re reading these letters correctly.)

P.8 P.10 P.12

The Beer Guy – The incomparable Zach Rosen brings us the Santa Barbara beer year in review. Thanks, Zach, really enjoyed what you did this year. Here’s to more in 2014! 8 Days a Week – Apparently, Jerry Herdin has been writing from prison this whole time and Publisher Tim likes to defend bad movies about trolls doing laundry. Get over there for a special 15-day edition of the Department of Calendaring’s editorial calendar thingy.

In the Zone – Jeremy Harbin says he got trapped in an elevator and flashbacked to highlights from the past few months of his column, but it really seems like he made it all up in an attempt at… we can’t really tell… humor? (We think.)

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Presidio Sports – Barry Punzal introduces the 2013 Presidio Sports All-City Football Team. Thanks Barry and John Dvorak for getting out there all year and sending us the sports reports.

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P.22

In the Garden with Mr. Greenjeans – Mr. “Greenjeans” Arnowitz is fresh off his cover story from last week. Here, he takes a victory lap and runs down his personal gardening highlights from the past year. And talks about cows. He really likes cows.

Santa Barbara View – Sharon Byrne sends us some musings on the Milpas Community Association. And Ray Estrada submits a couple quickies on the Downtown Org’s Chief and a new winery in La Arcada. Thanks for a great year, SB View crew!

P.26 P.28 P.29

The Weekly Capitalist – Jeff Harding doesn’t want to be just another talking head, but he kindly obliged our request and gave us seven summations of the state of the world (or at least the American political and economic landscape) today. Thanks, Jeff, great read, even if we’re a little uncomfortable paying your healthcare costs for you.

Man About Town – Mr. Léisuré expresses his love of instrument-less vocal styling. He then leisurely tells us about a cabaret show and ten tons of snow in Carp. (That’s the best we could do here. Sorry.)

P.32 P.35 P.36

Plan B – She paints pictures with words just like how she used to develop pictures with highly toxic, dangerous chemicals. She’s Briana Westmacott and she says she enjoyed her year in the Sentinel. Aw shucks, thanks Briana, we’ll see you for more in 2014.

Girl About Town – A holiday between Thanksgiving and Christmas to celebrate drinking? Count us in! (Thanks Julie!)

Keepin’ it Reel – Jim Luksic gives us his year in movies. It turns out he actually liked a few. Thanks, Jim, can’t wait to see what’s coming out in 2014.

P.37

Shop Girl – These boots were made for walking straight to Romp Shoe Boutique in Los Olivos, says Kateri Wozny. It seems like a long walk, but lovers of boots – especially those of the Italian leather variety – will find a way to get there.

Santa Barbara Skinny – The women of SB Skinny have visions of chocolate and ranch getaways dancing in their heads. They’ve also got some great ideas up their collective sleeve for your New Year’s Eve.

P.38

Pump It – If you had a little too much Christmas and New Year’s ham, turkey, chicken, turducken, gravy, peas and yam casserole, then it’s time to start doing frog squats and rowboats and jimmy tugs and snicker nuggets and all the other great exercises Jenny Schatzle loves to do.

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It'sCrimetime...

...with the SBPD

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations and comments are put forth for your consideration.

Worst of Crimetime 2013 Intoxicated Arizona Man Unapologetically Urinates In Hotel Lobby; Questions About Guest Experience Abound

tremendously intoxicated 24-year-old man visiting from the great State of Arizona urinated on the carpet in the lobby of a local hotel before “stumbling out” and sitting on a nearby bench one afternoon last week. That was right where SBPD found and arrested him for, well, urinating on the carpet in the lobby of a local beachside hotel while tremendously intoxicated. “We have an unparalleled guest experience here,” an anonymous hotel official reported, “and we basically let our wealthy clientele do whatever they want. Cocaine-fueled late night parties, hookers, loud music… that’s all par for the course. But urinating on the carpet in the lobby in the middle of the day? That’s just one step too far. And the guy wasn’t up from Hollywood or anything. He’s apparently from… Arizona. Once we determined that, we called the police immediately.”

Intoxicated Independence Day Reveler Exposes Piccolo Pete To Local Youths Late in the afternoon on the Fourth of July, a 53-year-old transient man (who later admitted to drinking all day) decided to urinate in public in plain view of – indeed facing – a group of families with children out to celebrate the holiday. “Looks like that Piccolo Pete we lit off earlier today, Daddy,” one of the kids was overheard saying, “except for that insane, infuriating whistling sound has been replaced with wet belches and slurred profanities. Happy Fourth of July!” (Let’s just move on, shall we?)

Publisher • Tim Buckley | Editor-in-Chief • Matt Mazza Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Contributing Partners Opinion • sbview.com | Sports • Presidiosports.com Santa Barbara Skinny • SantaBarbaraSkinny.com Columnists Shop Girl • Kateri Wozny | You Have Your Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | The Dish • Wendy Jenson Journal Jim • James Buckley | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | The Mindful Word • Diana M. Raab Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Jeremy Harbin Mad Science • Rachelle Oldmixon | Keepin’ It Reel • Jim Luksic Pump It • Jenny Schatzle | Faces Of Santa Barbara • Patricia Clarke Photographer • Wendi Mazza | Stylin’ & Profilin’ • Megan Waldrep Howlin’ at the Moon • Joseph Timmons | Food File • Christina Enoch Advertising/Sales Tanis Nelson 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every Friday 133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: matt@santabarbarasentinel.com

Aging Dragonslayer Mistakenly Accosts Humans With Sword On State Street A 63-year-old Santa Barbara resident wielding a plastic sword and incredibly profane vocabulary harassed and otherwise terrorized passersby on mid-State Street one evening last week. Not one but two unrelated individuals signed citizen’s arrests and Conan was taken to jail. “I thought they were fire-breathing dragons who were hell bent on burning our fair city to the ground,” he told officers. “I don’t know, maybe I’m past my prime.” In a related story, a 50-year-old transient man without a plastic sword (but with a similar and shockingly profane series of tirades) was highly confrontational with peaceloving folks just a couple blocks down from the dragonslayer and at right around the same time. He was detained for public intoxication after numerous complaints. Nice night for a walk down State.

Oxnard Man Dazzles Local Store Employees with Giant Beer Guzzling Display A 51-year-old man visiting from Oxnard wanted a beer one afternoon last week but had no money to pay for it. So he walked into a local big box store, pulled a tall, cold one off the refrigerated shelf, popped the top and straight guzzled it before store employees could stop him. (Must’ve been a former Gaucho.) By the time employees were able to confront him – “Hey man, how’d you drink that beer so fast? Oh, and how are going to pay for it?” – the man simply told him that he had no money and was leaving. SBPD quickly arrived at the scene and crack detective work led to officers finding the man, passed out, in a “dirt patch” behind the store. He was arrested for felony theft. Man, that must’ve been a giant beer. (On second thought, maybe he wasn’t a Gaucho after all – ex-UCSBers generally have the ability to handle their booze… and earn at least enough to pay for a cheap tall boy at a big box store. Generally, anyway.)

Man Exposes Anthony Weiner At Children’s Park A local nanny brought the children she cares for to a popular local park as she had done many times in the past. This time, however, there was nobody else there; nobody else other than a 26-year-old local man acting very strangely near some benches above the play structure. The woman was responsible and kept the kids close. Then the man approached her directly, unzipped his pants, pulled out his (probably tiny) kielbasa and started doing stuff to it. Weird stuff. The woman ran to the kids, protected them and left immediately. She called the cops and they responded fast, found the guy and arrested him. (We hope he stays in jail for a long time.)

Drunk People: Cop Cars Are NOT Cabs We’ve seen this more times than we care to comment on. This time, it was a drunken 23-year-old Carpinteria man who tried to get into an empty cop car on State like it was a taxi. We are considering starting a grassroots campaign to change police squad car design, effective immediately, so that there is no more confusion going forward. Seems like a reasonable use of taxpayer dollars.

Transient Kung-Fu Master Beaten with Chain Two drunken homeless men got into a fight one afternoon last week near the playground in Santa Barbara’s very first city park. One man, let’s call him David Carradine for convenience, was apparently a master of martial arts and repeatedly attempted to “roundhouse” the other but missed, then missed again, then missed again… you get the idea. While he was lining up what may have been a devastating kick for the umpteenth time, the second man calmly asked his girlfriend to hand him a large metal chain

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that was lying on the ground nearby. She did, and he proceeded to mercilessly beat our quasi-Mr.Carradine with it. (Maybe he should have considered studying more defensive tactics.) The chain-wielding transient was arrested for battery. (The kung fu master may have been too, but he never did connect with that vicious round house.)

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Retired Banker Proves Old Habits Die Hard, Tests Positive For Coke, Meth And Weed A 74-year-old retired banker tested positive for cocaine, methamphetamine and marijuana after being detained one night last week for “causing a disturbance” with a two-foot long “contractor-style metal spike” on East Anapamu Street. The man crumbled under tough interrogation by SBPD, admitting that the spike was made of solid gold and encrusted with rare gemstones he purchased with the last bonus he received before being forced into retirement after his firm discovered it was totally and completely bankrupt – morally and otherwise – due to hugely risky and largely incomprehensible transactions involving other people’s money that were conceived during drug-coated weekends in the Hamptons. In a related story, financial stocks inexplicably soared again today.

Crackhead Leads SBPD Right To Dope-Smoking Tweaker A 24-year-old Santa Barbara man was found to be in possession of 18 “rocks of cocaine base,” otherwise known as… CRACK! (Is that stuff still around? Seriously?) That man, let’s call him “The Crackhead” for convenience, led SBPD back to his house to conduct a search. When they arrived, officers found a 39-year-old Santa Barbara man on the porch, smoking marijuana without the appropriate medical credentials. And when SBPD searched the dope smoker and his backpack, they found a methamphetamine pipe with a white residue all over it. (Hint: The white residue didn’t come from either crack or marijuana, it came from meth.) The Crackhead and the Dope Smoking Tweaker were both arrested for all sorts of violations of California’s Health and Safety Code. Hang on, we vaguely recall from our collective childhood a little rhyme about this type of thing: The Crackhead’s connected to the Dopehead, and the Dopehead’s connected to the Meth Freak, and the Meth Freak’s connected to the Jail Cell… just lock them up for good. Something like that.

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by Zach Rosen

Let's Ring In The New Year! Join us at Bella Vista for a decadent celebration of flavors from around the globe. Enjoy an elaborate and interactive buffet-style dinner featuring lively action stations, made-to-order creations, elegant desserts, and much more.

A Big Year for Beer

December 31st 6-10 pm $125++ per person $150 includes admission to Ty Lounge party, featuring entertainment until 2am and champagne toast ($40 cover charge will apply otherwise)

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rom a beer drinker’s perspective, it’s hard not to look back at 2013 in awe. I’ve been in Santa Barbara since 2005 and started studying beer years before

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that. And in my humble opinion, this past year has been the tipping point in the beer culture of Santa Barbara. There was more action in 2013 than all other years that I’ve been here combined.

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Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

them up and running. (Almost there guys!) As we say goodbye to 2013, I try to think of at least one beer that stands out above the rest, but honestly, I can’t think of just one. There were so many tasty brews and it is inspiring to see the quality of beer that is coming out of Santa Barbara. It has been an honor to help document the exponential growth of our quaint but quality beer scene and I look forward to tasting what 2014 has in store for the beer drinkers of Santa Barbara. Cheers, everybody. Happy New Year!

Owner and Brewmaster Brian Thompson can stop and enjoy the fruits of his labor (every now and again, anyway).

Period. Eureka! Burger and the Figueroa Mountain Tasting Room in the Funk Zone have been critical for this growth and have done the people of Santa Barbara a service by exposing them to world-class beers. We have also seen the opening of Hoffmann Brat Haus and American Ale. Both of these establishments have helped expose drinkers to the diversity of beer styles and the tasty food that can accompany a good brew. But it is important to look past the newer and sometimes shinier establishments, so as not to overlook the efforts of the established beer spots in town. Mercury Lounge and the evercharming Dawn O’Brien continue to deliver the most diverse and high quality beer selection in the area (not to mention some great beer events hosted by yours truly). The Brewhouse turned ten this year and their beers have never tasted better. Brewmaster Pete Johnson and

brewer Casey Smith have toiled away to consistently keep 16 top-notch beers on tap at all times. Santa Barbara Brewing Co., the oldest brewpub in Santa Barbara, has had a checkered past with their beer quality, but over the past two years, brewmaster Kevin Pratt has completely changed their reputation and made SBBC a destination in Santa Barbara’s beer scene. It’s beautiful to see the success of Telegraph Brewing Co. This year they moved into the building next door to their last location with a majorly expanded brewing system and new equipment. Telegraph’s tight-knit crew consists of some of the most passionate beer minds (and drinkers) in Santa Barbara. Founder Brian Thompson has been a great supporter of our local community and their new digs will allow them to be an even bigger part of Santa Barbara. With the way things are going, I predict 2014 will be even bigger. Santa Barbara will gain (at least) two new breweries, Pure Order Brewing Co. and Captain Fatty’s, in this upcoming year. It has been special getting to know Pure Order founders, James and David Burge, and helping them document the building of their brainchild. I have become good beer buddies with them both and I look forward to seeing

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15•Days• a•Week We Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

by Jeremy Harbin

Want to be a part of Eight Days A Week?

Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show or anything else interesting or creative that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly those that have yet to be published.

Friday

Monday

The Year in Review

Keep it Reel

December 27

December 30

While every other column in this week’s issue gets to take a breath and look back at 2013, here in the Department of Calendaring, we have no choice but to keep looking toward the future. Eight Days, you see, is like a shark; we’ll die if we don’t keep moving forward. Also, people are generally uncomfortable when we’re around. And they run away from us. But if you’ll indulge us, dear reader, we’d like to take a quick glance at the calendaring year before we get started with the usual – or rather unusual – 15-day week. High: Coining the term Sentinel Surge, which has caught on like wildfire. Low: Angry voicemail from [redacted] after an event ran with the title [redacted]. And then the subsequent humiliating apology phone call. Favorite letter writer: Jerry Herdin, who writes weekly from prison and posts reviews of each calendar (often longer than the column itself) to his blog. Today, with Christmas behind you and New Year’s a few days away, join us in reflection on the last twelve months, your ups, your downs and what you can do in the next year to make a better situation for yourself and everyone around you.

Saturday December 28 Eling Fine

If you’re lucky enough to be in a work situation where you don’t have to return to the office until January, then today is your day. Sleep late. But once you get going, use today to take advantage of some Santa Barbara resources. We’re thinking Elings Park (1298 Las Positas Road). There’s a soccer tournament going on today, so check that out or just explore. Maybe you’ll see a pickup basketball game or folks flying some remote controlled Christmas presents around. Either way, you’ll definitely find some great views and the perfect spot to relax.

Sunday December 29

Not Over ‘Till You Sing

We’re in a weird purgatory for calendar-worthy events right now. Christmas is over; the new year hasn’t started yet. Not too much happening. Except for… (drum roll please) (seriously, do a drum roll) (fine. don’t). Church Stuff! Head right down to St. Mark’s-in-the-Valley Episcopal Church (2901 Nojoqui Avenue, Los Olivos) this morning at 10am if you’re still in the Christmas spirit for a Carols and Communion service. The big Holiday might be over, but we say kudos to these guys for keepin’ the party goin’!

1431 San Andres Street

Still not back to work? Go see a movie. Back to work? Take a really long lunch and go see a movie. Flip over to Jim Luksic’s Keepin’ it Reel and go straight to a Metropolitan theater to see whatever he hated the most – just for fun. We don’t get out to the theater too much this time of the year, but we did thoroughly enjoy listening to Publisher Tim try his hardest to defend the first Hobbit movie, which was universally panned and featured singing, dishwashing elves trying to save Frito from a magic dragon – or something like that. So for that reason, we recommend The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

Tuesday December 31 That Was Then

New Year’s Eve. Admit it: always a letdown. You try to suppress the palpable undercurrent of sadness and loathing with celebration and booze, but it never works. If you insist on going out, put on a jacket; the chilling breeze of life passing you by never blows harder than it does tonight. There goes another year of missed opportunity and senseless toil. Pop the bubbly. Happy New Year.

Wednesday January 1 This Is Now

Then on the other hand, it’s New Year’s Day. The world is your oyster. Take your life by the reins. Sleep when you’re dead, take a disco nap and keep on truckin’. Trying to lose weight? There’s vegetables out there for the eatin’. Trying to quit smoking? Strap on a nicotine patch and get that monkey off your back. “This will be our year,” sang the Zombies. But that was your parents’ band – this is 2014. Out with the old. “Took a long time to come.” It sure did, but it’s here now. Carpe Yearem, everybody. Let’s all make our dreams come true. Happy New Year.

Thursday January 2

First Thursday

Writers and artists aren’t all that different, really; the ones that go around claiming to be one usually aren’t the best in their field. That’s why everyone in the Department of Calendaring is instructed to run away screaming in terror whenever anyone asks, “What do you do for a living?” The one foolproof way to know you are one, however, is to have someone else choose you to be in a coffee table book. No, we’re not announcing an 8 Days hardback (yet). We’re telling you that photographer Mark Robert Halper has chosen 71 Santa Barbara artists – or rather, their tools – to be the subjects of his newest edition, Between Seer and Seen: Celebrating the Artists of Santa Barbara County. Today from 5 to 8pm at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art Store (1130 State Street), he’ll be signing books ($45) and limited edition posters (free). Call 805.963.4364 for more information.

Friday January 3

Tomorrow Never Knows

BoHenry’s www.bohenry.com

“She” famously did not care about her ticket to ride, but the organizers of this event hope that you will. (We’re all grimacing at that sentence too.) The ski and snowboard film Ticket to Ride, which features a bunch of pro athletes and is the 64th of its kind from Warren Miller, plays tomorrow at the Plaza Playhouse Theater (4916 Carpinteria Avenue; plazatheatercarpinteria.com), so you have all night to sit at home and prepare by thinking about what other Beatles song titles might make good movie titles. It makes us wonder – what other Beatles songs would make a good title for this column? “For No One,” probably.

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Saturday

Tuesday

Feels Snow Good

Resolution Café

January 4

It appears the press release for this one was written by someone with an irrational fear of complete sentences, but from what we can tell, it’s kind of like if the Shop n’ Roll was in Carpinteria and had fake snow. Those crazy Carpinterians have gone and shut down Linden and piped in ten tons of “snow.” There’ll be outdoor skating, live music, food trucks, a bike safety course for kids and more. It’s called Snow Much To Do and it all goes down from 10am to 3pm today. Find the snow at the Carpinteria Valley Arts Center (855 Linden Avenue). It’s free.

Sunday January 5

Pitch Perfect

If you’re wondering where Santa Barbara’s cool crowd is going to be tonight, keep wondering, because all we’ve got is an a cappella concert. Don’t get us wrong; these two New York groups – m-pact and Duwende – are doing some pretty cool material: The Velvet Underground & Nico in its entirety before moving into selections from Lou Reed’s solo material. Wait, they’re not doing that? They’re doing Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder songs? Well that should be fun too. Check out I Wish... For All Time: Celebrating the Genius of Michael Jackson & Stevie Wonder at the Granada Theatre (1214 State Street) at 3pm. For tickets, go to granadasb.org or call 805.899.2222.

Monday January 6

Award for One Smart Kid

Do you know a high-schooler with at least a 2.5 GPA and at least 45 hours of community service? Then what are you waiting for?! Wad this paper up, throw it at the nearest stranger and go straight to the Louise Lowry Davis Center office (1232 De la Vina Street) to hand in your nomination application for the Harriet Miller Youth Leadership Award Scholarship. The deadline is today. Download that app from www.santabarbaraca.gov ASAP – or travel back in time – if you’re going to mail it in; it’s got to be postmarked by January 2.

January 7

Tired of your New Year’s diet already? Salads got you down? Then try out Le Café Stella (3302 McCaw Avenue) today for a meal you’ll actually enjoy. And even if you want to stay on the diet train, there’s plenty here for you; they’ve got a whole menu of fresh salads and other good stuff to help you keep your resolution. Le Café Stella is open seven days a week from 9am to 9pm.

Wednesday

January 8

Resolution Gym

Speaking of resolutions, if you want to lose weight and get into shape, it’s much easier to do with a little help. So give Chris Bartl over in the Funk Zone’s Bayside Barbell a call. He’ll tailor a training plan specific to you and work with you to make sure you reach your fitness goals. Check out baysidebarbellsb.com, email Chris at info@chrisbartl.com or call him at 805.637.8370.

Thursday January 9

Resolution Bar

But resolutions are made to be broken. Get down to Santa Barbara’s best neighborhood bar, BoHenry’s (1431 San Andres Street) and make some new friends.

Friday January 10

Organs of Flentropance

Tonight at 7:30pm in the Lotte Lehmann Concert Hall on the UCSB campus, the Department of Music will present Bach to Flentrop, which they call “a performance in honor of Karl Geiringer and the 40th anniversary of the Flentrop Organ’s campus arrival.” All right music nerds, if you can make up words, so can we. Everyone should go check out splentoric organist Dr. James Welch play some Bach and other veerilous compositions tonight. Head to music.ucsb.edu for more information.

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INtheZONE

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

with JEREMY HARBIN photos by LILY BUCKLEY

. . .Zoning Out. . .

ast week after an interview for this column, In the Zone photographer Lily Buckley and I got stuck in a broken elevator. I had forgotten to turn my audio recorder off and caught the whole ordeal on tape. What follows is the transcript of the conversation we had while waiting for someone to let us out. Jeremy: We’re stuck?! Just great. I need to get this interview down and turn it in tonight. If I miss another deadline, I’m fired for sure! Lily: What? The elevator’s still moving. Jeremy: Well, we had some good times while it lasted. I’m going to miss this job. Lily: But the doors are open now. I can see your car. Jeremy: Hey, do you remember the very first In the Zone? I went around asking people about the Funk Zone, the changes it’s undergone and what its future might hold. I’m really going to miss walking around the neighborhood like that. Let’s stare off into the distance and reminisce...

. . . Issue 2/31: Life on the South Side Emily and Aaron [Walker, Tasting Room Manager and Winemaker, respectively, at Pali Wine Co.] don’t just work here; they live here with their young son. “It’s challenging living here with a small child; it’s not necessarily family-friendly,” Emily relates, “but it’s definitely really fun living here. I enjoy living close to the beach and being able to walk to State Street and all the shops and the farmers’ market.” When pressed about what it’s like to live in the Funk Zone, Emily notes an added element of urban life that most other – if not all other – city dwellers never have to deal with: harvest. While residents have the usual annoyances – end-of-the-night bar traffic, sirens, Find the Pali Wine Co. tasting room honking – “there are things like production at the at 116 East Yanonali Street. wineries. You can hear forklifts moving around at 4am during harvest.” Emily tells me this with a smile; as someone in the industry, she doesn’t care about the added noise. It’s something else entirely that used to get to her: “It’s a great place to live, if you don’t mind the train tracks,” she laughs. “You just get used to it.” Jeremy: Boy, a glass of Pali wine sure sounds good right now. When we get out of here, I’m going to pour myself a big one. Lily: We can literally walk out of the elevator right now. Jeremy: Remember that time I wrote that thing about that band of youngsters with musical abilities seemingly beyond their years called The Caverns that plays at Fig Mountain all the time? I can almost see an excerpt from it now…

. . . Issue 2/32: That New Old Sound The Caverns have had people approaching them, grinning, incredulous, since their first public performances. Some don’t even wait until after the show is over (the band laughs as they tell the story of a rogue harmonica player who once crashed the stage). But the most important connection they’ve You can often catch The Caverns at made with their instruments still in hand is with some Figueroa Mountain Brewing Co. at key FZ personnel. Sam [Kulchin, guitarist] recalls the 137 Anacapa Street.

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group’s first encounter with Alex Jones of Figueroa Mountain at its first gig at the beer tasting room: “After the first two songs, he came up to us and said, ‘Do you guys wanna come back tomorrow?’” “Alex said he wants Fig to be our Cavern Club, the place where the Beatles got started, so that’s where our name comes from,” Sam explains, as his rhythm section speaks up to help him get his quotes right. “He said ‘I want everyone to know if they come to Fig on a Saturday night, the Caverns are going to be there to melt their faces off.’” Jeremy: We’ve been in here for so long that I almost forget what music sounds like. Lily: Okay, I’m riding with you, so how about getting up off the floor? Jeremy: And food! Remember the taste of food? If we ever get out of this elevator, I’m gonna go straight to the Organic Kitchen for a fresh meal. Lily: What are you looking at? Are you flashing back again?

. . . Issue 2/33: An Organic Oasis on Santa Barbara Street Chef Michael [Glazer] brings out bowls preset with seasonal vegetables drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt. He then pours the roasted poblano-smoked tomato broth over the top. Course one is served. The heat of the peppers is the star here, balancing out the tomato and framing the snap of the diced veggies. Michael cools us off with his second course, an heirloom tomato salad with herbs, Bariani olive oil and burrata. With its flavorful, fresh fruit and creamy Italian cheese, this dish enters early into the running for the night’s best – until course three. You wouldn’t think a dish consisting largely of The Organic Kitchen is located at cantaloupe could be this good, but Michael’s melon 205 Santa Barbara Street, Suite tartare is a treat. Its aromatics and Banyuls vinegar B. Call 805.637.8222 for more combine to not complicate things, but to draw out the information or to make a weekend dinner reservation. flavor of the melon. Course four: mixed farms lettuces with a tomato vinaigrette. That may sound simple, but you’ve never had greens this complex. Michael wonders if this might be the menu’s most challenging dish. The main course is herb rigatoni with roasted red bell pepper cream. Like every other dish, it’s fresh and flavorful, understated yet sumptuous. Or as the chef puts it: “I’m a purist. This is as good as it gets and there doesn’t have to be anything else added to it.” Jeremy: I just realized that after I’m fired for missing this deadline, I’ll never get to write about any Funk Zone artists ever again. Lily: Maybe you could start a blog. Jeremy: Remember the article on Wallace Piatt? Lily: Yes. It wasn’t really very long ago. Jeremy: Cue flashback sequence fade from early ‘90s sitcoms… Lily: Oh boy…

. . . Issue 2/35: The Wallace Piatt Guide to Grit

Though we can’t recommend it as a reliable way into the arts scene, Wallace had a heart attack. “I think you kind of have to lose everything to really gain an artistic experience,” Wallace opines, before quickly reconsidering. “Not necessarily you have to, but for me… it f****in’ helped.” While neglecting his business and his health, he immersed himself in art; he practiced and he partied Look Wallace Piatt up online at – too much. “We lost both stores, got my Porsche www.wallaceisart.com and search repossessed,” he deadpans, “It was the greatest thing Instagram for #wallaceisart.

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that ever happened to me.” Then, about four and a half years ago, the lifestyle proved itself unsustainable and culminated in the cardiac event that now serves as a clear dividing line. “After the heart attack, I stopped partying, I mean, I still drink,” he makes clear, “but I got into surfing. I got really serious about art. Stuff cleaned up.” Wallace has the words “order” and “chaos” tattooed, one on each forearm. It’s a decent template to begin to understand his artistic sensibility. “It’s still chaotic. The paintings are still chaotic,” he says of his life and work post-heart attack, “but I’m not so chaotic, so I can put more energy into the painting.”

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Jeremy: I think we might be running out of oxygen in here. And I’m so thirsty. Lily: Let me guess: you’re thirsty for some kombucha. Jeremy: Well now that you bring it up, remember when we went to taste kombucha brewed by A.J. DeNecochea?

. . . Issue 2/38: The Kombucha Mixologist

Two women come in looking for lunch – something organic, one says. Though they’d usually be in the exact right place, the Organic Kitchen isn’t serving food today, but they stick around to taste some kombucha. One’s an expert, the other’s more modest. They have questions. Watching A.J. catch the pair up and then pour a fourth glass – “This is strawberries, red pears, lime juice and elderberry,” he announces – is enough to make skeptics reconsider astrology. The horoscope that brought him here to bartend was right. The strawberry batch, dark pink in color, draws a A.J. DeNecochea holds free raised eyebrow from the more experienced of the two kombucha tastings every Sunday tasters. There must be added dye, she insists for a from noon until 2pm at the Organic Kitchen, 205 Santa Barbara Street. second time. A.J. goes to work. He lowers his voice, leans in and nods as he tells the story of how he came up with the idea for the flavor. His grandmother was Swedish, he says. He was inspired by the way she used to mash strawberries to make jam. There is no red dye, just the natural result of juicing strawberries into the tea. “I’ll do a bottle of the pink,” the woman says, and leaves with some of A.J.’s finest under her arm.

Jeremy: My life of covering the Funk Zone is starting to flash before my eyes. I can see the Anacapa Project, the area’s biggest development so far. We sure had a good meal at The Lark and some good times at Fig Mountain. Remember covering the art installation there on the exterior doors along Yanonali?

. . . Issue 2/41: Anacapa Project Adds Outdoor Art

The doors themselves – which cost a lucky penny – are bulky and industrial, fitting in well with the neighborhood’s architectural vernacular. They were custom built for the project by a company called Schwiss. “They’re often used in airplane hangar applications,” Katie [Hay, Anacapa Project property manager] said as she opened Guitar Bar’s control panel to give a quick demonstration. “There wasn’t a security need, necessarily,” she Check out the Facebook page created for added. “It was to be able to facilitate various the doors and their art at www.facebook. com/doorsatanacapaproject. installations of art.” And that is, after all, what the Funk Zone needs from its developers. “We’re trying to provide a forum for our local artists to be able to display their work for the public enjoyment,” Katie summed up, “where they otherwise might not actually be seen by way of a gallery or anything else.” ...continued p.14

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...continued from p.13 Jeremy: I’m weak… feeling faint… we might die in this elevator. Lily: I really doubt it. Jeremy: You’re right; I should have taken better care of my body. Remember when we went to Bayside Barbell behind Seven Bar for a workout?

. . . Issue 2/44: Out of the (Comfort) Zone, Part I During our initial phone call, I asked Chris if he had a lot of beginners like me, and told him that I was under the impression that only very serious body-builder types use his gym. That’s not the case at all, he told me. People from all points on the fitness spectrum, and with all sorts of different fitness goals like weight loss and “body composition changes,” work with Chris. “From 17 to 70,” Chris said. “That’s perfect,” I told him, “because I’ve got the face of a 17-year-old and body of a 70-year-old.” With a polite laugh from Chris, we hung up the phone, and I thought about how he would soon find out I wasn’t really joking.

Find Bayside Barbell at 224 Helena Avenue, behind Seven Bar and Kitchen. For more information, call Chris Bartl at 805.637.8370.

Lily: Okay, there’re people coming. I think we should wrap this up. Jeremy: But wait. Remember that time we went standup paddleboarding?

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. . . Issue 2/45: A Santa Barbara Baptism Jim [Brewer] came here from San Diego in 1975 when his father took a job with Ernest Brooks making underwater films. The film studio was just a block over from Jim’s shop, where Municipal now pours wine, and that’s where he went to work at his first job, cleaning the place up. He later shaped and glassed surfboards in a space just a couple of blocks away. He wasn’t set on the area for Blueline’s location, but the unit was available, and it worked out, making Jim a true Funk Zone mainstay: “By coincidence, I’ve been hanging out in this little two-block area basically Jim Brewer is the proprietor of Blueline Stand Up Paddle Surf at 24 East Mason since 1975,” he says. Street. In 2005, he saw his first paddleboard on the beach here. Someone had picked up the sport in Maui, come back and put together a homemade paddle. Jim tried it out and was, he says, “immediately hooked.” He started making paddleboards and called his brand Blueline. Two years later, when the sport had grown enough to sustain it, he opened up his store, giving it the Blueline name. Man in Santa Claus outfit: Uh, sir? Do you mind getting up so my friend here – who’s dressed as Baby New Year – and I can take the elevator up to a holiday party? Jeremy: We’re free! Finally! Thank you so much, Santa! Santa: Well, I didn’t really do anything… Baby New Year: Here, let me help you up. Jeremy: Thanks, Baby New Year! You two have fun at your party! Santa: Merry Christmas! Baby New Year: And happy New Year! Later, in the car… Lily: It looks like you might be able to make that deadline after all. Jeremy: No, I’m sure I missed it. The writing can wait, but maybe I can beg EIC Matt to let me keep my job. Lily: Or you could just stop procrastinating. Jeremy: Will they let me keep it, you ask? We’ll have to wait until 2014 to find out…

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www.presidiosports.com Presidio Sports is a provider of local sports news and information for the Santa Barbara community. Founded in 2008, the small team at Presidio has covered hundreds of local sporting events and published thousands of articles connected to Santa Barbara’s athletic community. Please visit their website for more local sports news and information.

Craddock, Pearson Lead 2013 All-City Football Team

by Barry Punzal

hey eyed each other from across the line of scrimmage, trying to determine where each was planning to attack. At times, the plays went right for Carpinteria quarterback Ian Craddock, and the Warriors picked up yardage and a first down. Then there were times when Bishop Diego linebacker Christian Pearson read the play, filled a gap or dropped back into pass coverage and stuffed the opposition. Their coaches and teammates knew Craddock and Pearson possessed that innate ability to make the big plays to help them win games. Their consistency, talent and leadership are the reasons they’ve been selected the Players of the Year on the Presidio Sports All-City Football Team. Craddock is the Offensive Player of the Year and Pearson is the Defensive MVP. The All-City Football Team will be introduced at the Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table press luncheon on Monday, January 13. If there is a theme to this year’s AllCity Team, it’s versatility. Several players on the squad were standouts at multiple positions. Craddock falls in that category. In addition to effectively running the complex Carpinteria offense, he excelled as a kicker and a defensive back for the Warriors. “He took almost every snap on offense, played nearly every snap on defense and he

was involved on every play in the kicking game,” Carpinteria coach Ben Hallock said. “He was central in everything we did.” Craddock compiled 2,400 total yards and scored 139 points for a Carpinteria team that went 8-4 and reached the quarterfinals of the CIF Northwest Division playoffs. Craddock was an efficient passer, completing 106 of 162 passes for 1,672 yards and 15 touchdowns, with only six interceptions. As a runner, he gained 737 yards on 113 carries (6.52 average) and scored 12 TDs. He was a perfect 49 of 49 on PAT kicks and made 6 of 7 field goals, with his longest 47 yards. On defense, he made 20 solo tackles and had five interceptions. Being counted on to do so many things for his team wasn’t a big deal for Craddock. He took it all in stride. “He’s a very balanced person,” Hallock said. “He has a great mix of talent, work ethic, competitive desire, humility and a really great sense of humor. He keeps things in the right proportions.” Another strength of Craddock’s is how he keeps an even keel. “He never gloried in great plays and he never sulked nor shirked responsibility for poor ones,” Hallock said. “He was always quick to get ready and focused on what was next.”

Pearson’s tremendous focus, instincts and toughness made him an outstanding linebacker for Bishop Diego. He led the Cardinals in total tackles with 132, including 62 solo tackles and 24.5 for losses. He also had four interceptions, four fumble recoveries, 2.5 sacks and three hurries. “Christian was the leader of our defense, not just statistically, but in terms of setting the tone for toughness and playing fast and physical,” Bishop Diego coach Tom Crawford said. “His presence coupled with his three years of starting experience made everyone around him better.” Crawford said Pearson was especially important in short-yardage situations or “big-play” downs. One of the most memorable plays was a safety against La Salle. “Christian just reacts on his own and he and Cowboy (John Samson) hit the ballcarrier in the end zone after the kid has taken about one step,” Crawford described. “From the end-zone camera, the speed, angle and physicality with which Christian comes on the play is remarkable. It sets the tone for the balance of the game.” Pearson said having eight experienced players on the defensive unit was a big reason it was so successful – the Cardinals allowed only 132 points in 13 games, the lowest of any team in the Tri-Valley League. The Cardinals finished 10-3 and advanced to the semifinals of the CIF Northwest Division. “Even though we didn’t get that CIF championship, we gained something that lasts forever, and that’s being brothers and loving each other,” said Pearson on what he’ll remember most about the season. Here is the 2013 Presidio Sports AllCity Football Team:

Offense The Playmakers

BJ Murillo, Bishop Diego, Sr. – A weapon that opened up Bishop Diego’s offense, Murillo accounted for more than 1,400 all-purpose yards. He averaged 17.83 yards per reception and 13.14 yards per carry. “He struck fear in the minds of opponents because of what he could do in space,” said Bishop coach Tom Crawford. Abel Gonzalez, Bishop Diego, Jr. – He was the Cardinals’ leading rusher and scorer with 1,266 yards on 154 carries (8.22 yards per carry) and 17 touchdowns (19 total). “Deceptively strong and fast, he was a workhorse, particularly in all the games we were missing Aidan Williams,” said Crawford. Bryson Frazer, Carpinteria, Sr. – The speedy Frazer made his mark as a bigplay receiver and special teams player. But when the Warriors lost Jonathan Esqueda to injuries suffered in a car accident late in the season, he shined as a running

Bishop Diego linebacker Christian Pearson has been named one of two Players of the Year on the Presidio Sports All-City Football Team.

Carpinteria quarterback Ian Craddock, Offensive Player of the Year.

back. Frazer returned five kickoffs and four punts for TDs and gained 1,081 allpurpose yards. Leshon Bell, Dos Pueblos, Sr. – Bell could do it all with the ball for the Chargers. He compiled 1,069 all-purpose yards as a quarterback, running back, receiver and returner. “He was our go-to guy on offense as he was very electrifying every time he touched the ball,” said coach Nate Mendoza. Bell also was a standout at cornerback. Esteban Alfaro, San Marcos, Sr. – The workhorse running back for the Royals gained 943 yards with 16 touchdowns on the ground and 33 receptions for 462 yards and two scores. Austin Pugh, San Marcos, Sr. – He was a dependable and clutch receiver for the Royals. Pugh caught 29 passes for 572 yards and six touchdowns. Matt Sessler, Dos Pueblos, Sr. – At 6”5’, Sessler was a big target for DP’s quarterbacks. He caught 25 passes for 349

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Daniel Podratz, Santa Barbara, Jr. – Podratz combined power and quickness to become a standout lineman. Connor Kelsey, Carpinteria, Sr. – Kelsey was a standout long and short snapper for the Warriors. “He has been perfect for two years,” Carpinteria coach Ben Hallock said. “In thirty-plus years of coaching, he is flat-out the best I have ever had.” Santa Barbara High’s Cheroke Cunningham was the MVP of this year’s “Big Game” against San Marcos for scoring five touchdowns.

yards and six touchdowns and he was a good downfield blocker.

In The Trenches

Micah Ruiz, .Dos Pueblos, Sr. – Ruiz started every game and was a rock on the offensive line for the Chargers. Joe Salcedo, Bishop Diego, Sr. – A three-year starter at strong tackle, the 6”6’, 275-pound Salcedo helped pave the way for an offense that averaged more than 400 yards per game and nearly 300 yards on the ground. Nate Willows, San Marcos, Jr. – Willows played both tackle and guard and was a punishing blocker and nimble pass protector, said coach Anthony Linebaugh.

Defense The Front Four

Nolan Tooley, Bishop Diego, Sr. – Tooley was a menace for offensive linemen to handle. Even with teams running away from him, he notched 60-plus tackles, including 32 solo and 19.5 for a loss. He recorded 15 sacks, eight hurries, five pass deflections, caused four fumbles and recovered two. “He’s a D1-level athlete with size, speed and smarts,” said coach Crawford. Duncan Gordon, Carpinteria, Sr. – Gordon has a motor that never idles, coach Hallock said of the end. He was spectacular in the Warriors’ two CIF playoff games. Gordon recorded 91 tackles, including 18 for losses and 10 sacks. He caused two fumbles and recovered two. Parker Rozenburg, San Marcos, Sr. – A big presence in the middle of the line for

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the Royals. He had 53 tackles, eight for losses and four sacks. John Samson, Bishop Diego, Sr. – A twoway standout in the trenches, the player nicknamed “Cowboy” was a force on both sides of the ball. He had 73 tackles, 37 solo, 18.5 for loss, 5.5 sacks, six hurries and two forced fumbles. “Cowboy was an ironman for us, rarely having a play off. He has a great motor and a passion for the game,” said Crawford.

The Backers

Cheroke Cunningham, Santa Barbara, Sr. – The Dons’ standout showed this season that he is a complete football player. Known more for his ability as a running back, Cunningham showed his hardhitting, sure-tackling abilities as an outside linebacker. He had a team-best 42 solo tackles, 60 assists and one pass interception.

man,” Crawford said. “His development this year was tremendous. You’ll see him playing next year in college.” Nic Pajouh, Cate, Sr. – The leader of the defense for the Condor League-champion Rams. In the wide-open 8-man game, he recorded a team-best 90 tackles, including eight for loss.

The Secondary

Tyler Welch, Dos Pueblos, Sr. – A tremendous safety for the Chargers. “He’s one of the best safeties we have ever had here,” said coach Mendoza. Welch was the second-leading tackler on the team and led in solo tackles and interceptions.

David Blevins, Dos Pueblos, Sr. – Blevins was the soul of the Chargers defensive unit. He led the team with more than 90 tackles.

Anthony Carter, Bishop Diego, Sr. – Carter is a two-year multi-purpose standout for the Cardinals. As a defensive back, he had 47 tackles (29 solo), six interceptions, two fumble recoveries and three tackles for loss. Four of his picks came in the CIF playoffs. “He’s such a natural talent with incredible diversity and explosiveness,” said Crawford.

Thomas Lash, Bishop Diego, Sr. – The athletic Lash could run down running backs and knock down passes. He had 62 total tackles, 20 solo, two sacks and six tackles for loss. “He’s coachable, committed and a competitive young

Quentin Tedesco, Laguna Blanca, Jr. – Tedesco was a big reason the Owls went 6-4 and advanced to the quarterfinals of the CIF 8-man playoffs. He intercepted three passes in a game twice this season.

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2013 High School Runners of the Month

he High School Runner of the Month award recognizes local prep runners that exemplify the term â&#x20AC;&#x153;student-athleteâ&#x20AC;? by demonstrating leadership, passion and excellence in high school athletics. The annual campaign recognizes athletes from March through November. In 2013, Presidio Sports is proud to have handed out the distinction to 17 student-athletes. Thanks to Santa Barbara Running Company for making this award possible and for supporting local athletes.

Addi Zerrenner

Adilene Aldapa

Andrew McGuan

Andrew Robbins

Caroline Vance

Cole Smith

Cuyler Gabriel

Delia Bullock

Emma Redick

Jewel Fisher

Joel Serugo

Kyle Millhollin

Liz Verduzco

Maia Ziaee

Tanner Mjelde

Tanner Munizich

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The Year in Gardening

t’s the end of the year and I can’t help getting a little sentimental when I look back at all of the ground, or rather dirt (technically), that I’ve covered in this column. I appreciate that you stayed with me as I raged against overwatering and underwatering. You were loyal when I ranted about raking up the compost and organic litter from the garden beds. And you didn’t abandon me when my series on orchids went on to have as many installments as Downton Abbey has episodes. I am a lucky person in that what I do at my day job is the same stuff I enjoy doing at home when I’m not at my day job. I love being part of the Santa Barbara Sentinel and feel privileged and grateful for the opportunity to write about all the things that go through and sometimes even stick in my head as I plant, prune and compost through my days. DJs and movie reviewers always compile Best of or Worst of lists for the end of the year. (See Jim Luksic’s column on page 35, for example.) To finish this year on a positive note, I thought it would be fun to throw together a list that included ten of my favorite plant, gardening or horticulture related items for 2013.

Randy’s Best Of

1. Going to the nursery on the weekend and being able to take my time and really look around without having to rush off to work so fast. 2. At rose pruning time, putting a new blade in my little Corona folding

Cows are way bigger up close.

Peaches tops the list of a few of my favorite things.

Monarch caterpillars in my garden – highlight of gardening 2013.

hand saw. I love not having to hack my way through the rose canes with a dull blade. 3. Not slicing through my knuckles with my new little Corona folding hand saw after I replaced the old, dull blade with a razor-sharp one. 4. Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing that the unfamiliar sound that woke me is the rain overflowing

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Everyone should have cows in their life. Mooo.

my leaf-clogged gutters. 5. M y friend Bill moving to a farm in Santa Ynez and buying two cows. Cows are immensely bigger in person than you’d think. Way bigger. Glad to have cows in my life. 6. Seeing scads of earthworms in my garden while turning over the soil, especially when there were virtually none prior to amending with rich, homemade compost. 7. H aving my sweet pea seeds germinate and realizing that the snails and birds haven’t gotten to the tender, young sprouts yet. 8. B uying new Wolverine boots for work and not getting blisters – even at first – because they’re just that comfy. 9. S eeing monarch caterpillars totally decimating my butterfly milkweed plant and knowing that those magical, green chrysalises will follow. 10.My dog Peaches. She goes to work

with me every darn day. I love the big bump on the top of her head and the way she smells. She doesn’t dig, chew up stuff or make a lot of noise. She’s a golden retriever. She’s mellow. I think the last time she barked was in 2009.

Randy’s Quick Pick

If you want to learn how to prune roses and help beautify Santa Barbara, the A.C. Postel Rose Garden can use your help. On Saturday, January 14 at 9am, seasoned rosarians will offer a how-to demo to the inexperienced or any other folks needing a rose pruning tune-up. Those who already know how can start pruning at 8am. The rose garden is located across from the Mission on Plaza Rubio between Laguna Street and Emerson Avenue in Santa Barbara. Wear gloves!

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Santa Barbara’s Online Magazine, Published Twice Daily

sbview.com

End of Year Musings by Sharon Byrne

think this is the year I fully came to understand the power of the collective in a way I never have before: what people can do in groups, as a unified front, when they pull together in one direction. This year I had the peak experience I have long craved, having had tastes of it previously: To be on a team where the commitment levels are high, where everyone is bringing their diverse talents to bear in achieving the goals. The bonus: the interaction among the players is so seamless that it has the net effect of making you, as an individual, a little better than you probably really are. When you’re part of a team like that, there’s simply nothing you can’t do. You learn that as you tackle each objective before you and each win brings the team closer together. I imagine this is what teams going off to win championships must feel like. Like a lot of people coming up in corporate America in the mid-90s, I learned a lot about team dynamics. An old adage used to be that teams go through four distinct phases: Form, Storm, Norm and Perform. In the Form stage, the team comes together, starts learning about one another and decides on team objectives. But relationships are new and haven’t undergone any testing. The team hasn’t seen any crises yet, though the Milpas Community Association team formed in response to a crisis, which fused us together fairly quickly. However, we couldn’t avoid the Storm phase, which is required as a team evolves. Some of our members realized we weren’t

going to do what they thought they signed up for and quit in a huff. Others argued within the team and tried to push us to their desired outcomes. Some got lost in the shuffle. It’s a very testing time. In the Norm phase, the team pulls together and starts moving in one direction. However, they’re in second gear, not at top speed or performance. People are putting in effort and achieving some results, but not unlocking their greatest creativity or discovering the total potential of the team… yet. That’s achieved in the Perform phase, where critical mass is achieved. Everyone is firing on all pistons, and the team is finally solidly in fifth gear and riding high. 2013 was the Perform year for the Milpas team. We turned a massive corner from fighting for a better neighborhood to coming together to achieve big dreams we’ve long held in our hearts. When you have safety in your community, tremendous things are possible. This team set some high bars for itself this year, and hit every one of them. People that we’d never even met before delivered miracles for this community. The core team that had been in place, now sure of the inner workings and relationships on the team, began performing at an incredibly high level. They stepped out of their comfort zones and stepped up for this community. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’d been part of stellar teams before, but we’d moved much more quickly through the various phases because we’d been focused on shortterm objectives. This team tackled civic issues and projects with a diverse group of

Sharon Byrne

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com individuals. No one had ever attempted building community where none existed, and they were all fairly used to operating as solo acts. Being on a team like this required a whole new set of skills. They’d never lobbied for their community as a unified front. They’d never organized community projects. You could see it was going to be tough. Throw some city and county politics in there for extra fun, and frankly, it was a Herculean challenge. And yet I’ve never served on a finer team. Working with this Milpas team has been perhaps the peak experience of my career. The job spoke to my heart from the beginning, because I love community, working in groups, and creating something out of nothing. This was work that fed my soul, so it often didn’t even feel like work. Putting on the holiday parade or Taste of Milpas takes huge effort, but it’s also really fun, so it’s not like being trapped in a cubicle on the grim march of a company deadline. The motto for the French Revolution was Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité: freedom, equality and brotherhood. Earlier, they also used Amitié (friendship) or Unité (unity) before settling on brotherhood. After being part of this little Milpas revolution that has reinvigorated the neighborhood and bonded this community, I understand those ideals as never before. And I am thankful this year above all to have been given the chance to live them.

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Downtown Organization Chief Leaving

he Santa Barbara Downtown Organization today announced the resignation of Executive Director Bill Collyer. “It is with mixed emotions that I write to inform you of my intent to step down as executive director in the next few months,” Collyer wrote. Collyer was hired by the board’s leadership in 2007 and has served on the Downtown Parking Committee for the past several years. The organization has raised attendance at annual events

by Ray Estrada

Ray Estrada is a writer, editor and media consultant who has worked for newspapers, radio news, wire services and online publications for the past 40 years. He has taught journalism at the University of Southern California and now runs his own consulting business based in Santa Barbara.

sbview.com

such as the Downtown Art & Wine Tour, and has enhanced the experience and professionalism of the Downtown Holiday Parade during Collyer’s tenure. “The board thanks Bill for his work at the Downtown Organization,” said outgoing Board President Dave Lombardi. “We wish him well in his future endeavors.” The Downtown Organization is a membership-driven, nonprofit group whose goal is to maintain and enhance the business and cultural activity in the downtown area.

Sanford Opens Downtown Tasting Room

fter months of preparation, Sanford Winery has opened a tasting room at 1114 State Street in La Arcada. That means about some two dozen wineries have tasting rooms in Santa Barbara. Most are in the Funk Zone, but several are downtown. “We are thrilled to join a vibrant community of wine producers represented in Santa Barbara’s Urban Wine Trail,” Sanford Winemaker and General Manager Steve Fennell said in a press release. “We love being part of the La Arcada business community and look forward to many years of success.” Michael Martz of Hayes Commercial Group represented Sanford in leasing the 1,016-square-foot retail space. “While the rapid growth of wine tasting in the Funk Zone is exciting, the team at Sanford determined that La Arcada provides an elegant location that really spoke to their brand and their clientele,” Martz said. “Sanford didn’t want to rush into opening a tasting room just anywhere.” In 1971, Richard Sanford planted the first pinot noir grapes in Santa Barbara County. That’s because the climate, wind direction and soil conditions in the Santa Rita Hills are similar to those of France’s Burgundy province. The grape has thrived in the area ever since and helped put Santa Barbara County on the map of the world’s premier wine regions. Sanford has had success with chardonnay on its estate vineyards in the Santa Rita Hills. Sanford opened a tasting room there in 2007. Although the winery still bears its founder’s name, Richard Sanford departed in 2005 and started his own label, Alma Rosa. Last year, he filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization.

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...continued from p.1 Here’s a fun little thing we like to do with friends around town every year. The Trolley of Lights. Loved it.

laughing (and occasionally cussing) way back out Paradise Road on a network of trails with which I was previously unfamiliar, all around Arroyo Burro and Matias Portrero. Rather than going straight home to Wendi and the girls after the ride (and one or two post-ride Sierra Nevadas), I stopped into Swell’s Santa Barbara Athletic Club for a schvitz and

a warm shower. (I usually reserve that for after a swim in the lap pool and a workout – both of which are terrific complements to my well known and much loved Jenny Schatzle program – but sometimes I like to spoil myself.) I stripped down to the aforementioned loincloth and lumbered on tired legs over to the sauna – not the steam

room, mind you, I really do save that little happy moisturizing experience for after the chlorinated pool. And what I saw when I walked through the door surprised me. I saw a man, a rather large man who had apparently been in there for quite some time judging by the perspiration pool at his feet, reading a soiled copy of this very paper. My entry didn’t disturb his concentration; he was deep in one story or another and didn’t even look up. I settled in next to him quietly and assumed the position, staring blankly at the wall opposite us. A moment passed. Then the man suddenly grunted, tossed the paper aside, looked at me square, pointed at the paper and asked increduously, “Have you read this thing?” “Uh, yeah,” I fumbled, “yeah, I’ve read it.” “Well I’ll tell you what . . . “ he started.

I stood on the tracks one evening last week after dropping my bike at Hazards for a little tune up with Sergio and took this shot looking toward Carp…

And just like that, I was trapped. Like a half-naked sweaty rat in a loincloth. I braced myself, mentally and physically, for the impending onslaught, summoned my resolve and focused in hard at a knot in the Cedar in front of me. Here we go again.

Another One In The Books

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Time & Tide and the DAY LOW HGT HIGH FRI, DEC 27 5:00 AM SAT, DEC 28 5:44 AM SUN, DEC 29 6:28 AM MON, DEC 30 12:44 AM 1.9 7:12 AM TUES, DEC 31 1:34 AM 1.8 7:57 AM WED, JAN 1 2:25 AM 1.6 8:44 AM THURS, JAN 2 3:15 AM 1.6 9:30 AM FRI, JAN 3 4:07 AM 1.6 10:18 AM SAT, JAN 4 5:04 AM 1.7 11:08 AM SUN, JAN 5 12:39 AM MON, JAN 6 1:34 AM TUES, JAN 7 2:33 AM WED, JAN 8 3:35 AM THURS, JAN 9 4:35 AM FRI, JAN 10 5:29 AM

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HGT HIGH HGT LOW 0.7 06:17 PM 3.1 010:57 PM 0 07:16 PM 3.3 011:52 PM -0.7 08:05 PM 3.6 -1.2 08:49 PM 3.9 -1.7 09:32 PM 4.1 -1.8 010:15 PM 4.4 -1.7 011:01 PM 4.5 -1.4 011:48 PM 4.6 -0.8 1.8 12:04 PM 5 06:49 PM 1.9 01:09 PM 4.2 07:40 PM 1.8 02:33 PM 3.5 08:36 PM 1.4 04:18 PM 3.1 09:40 PM 0.8 05:57 PM 3.1 010:45 PM 0.3 07:09 PM 3.2 07:09 PM

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2013. What a year. We’ve covered a lot of ground in the last twelve months here at the Sentinel, from antibiotic resistant superbugs in the water supply (maybe) to paranormal activity at the Lobero (definitely) and extraterrestrial communications to the Homeless Bill of Rights and the Disease of Alcoholism. We’ve covered high-end restaurants, artisan ice cream and Korean barbeque. We’ve covered a hell of a lot of beer. We’ve talked extensively about the ...continued p.30

SURF MAGAZINE • DEEPZINE.COM

ell, you survived Christmas and you’re ready to surf. You better keep that new longboard or fish handy, though, because we don’t have a whole lot on tap. With that said, it won’t be completely flat. A series of smaller swells will keep things in the waist-to-chesthigh range for the next week or so. And building high pressure should keep conditions clean and clear. Don’t worry, winter’s only just begun, so keep your chin up and your boards in good working order. Happy new year from Doug and the staff at Surf Country. -Surf Country Doug For a more in-depth daily report call Surf Country, 805-683-4450

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Make YOUR Resolution A REALITY! Proudly Congratulates

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The Weekly Capitalist by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding publishes The Daily Capitalist, a blog on economics and finance. He is the president of Montecito Analytics, LLC, and is a real estate investor who lives in Montecito.

Talking Head 2013

esides all the holly jolly stuff on the radio, TV and Internet, we are getting the usual year-end retrospectives from the talking heads who are paid well to pontificate about the year gone by. So, I, being a well remunerated talking head of this fair journal, will just pile on. Here are my top seven trends to take away from 2013:

The Floating Economy Hey, gross domestic product (GDP) was up to 4.1 percent for Q3! Good news, right? Yes, but the Fed expects the entire year to clock in at about 2 percent growth. That’s because Q1 and Q2 only grew at 1.1 percent and 2.5 percent, respectively. Two percent growth is rather lackluster since the mighty US economic engine has historically produced at an average 3.2 percent growth rate through thick and thin. The Wall Street Journal headlined the latest GDP news with “U.S. Grows at Fastest Pace Since 2011.”

Wow. If you can remember that far back, you’ll recall that, after 2011, the economy slid backwards for the next five quarters, causing pundits to wonder why things weren’t any better. Yours truly has an idea. The reason for the “one step forward two steps back” in 2011 was that the economy was floating on cheap Fed money. It still is. Cheap money can only do so much to spur an economy because it isn’t real growth. At some point, real growth has to kick in and we haven’t seen much of that yet. So on we float.

Money Printing 4-evah The Fed just announced that it is finally tapering its Quantitative Easing (Fedese for money “printing”). You should be breathless at the news. The Fed, you see, has been “printing” money at a rate of $85 billion per month since 2012. In fact, since the beginning of the Crash

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of ’08, the Fed has pumped in $3.1 trillion of fiat money (i.e., new pieces of green paper that people believe is worth something until they aren’t). It’s not real, folks. And in case you think the Fed knows what it is doing, just about everything they’ve said or predicted about the economy has been dead wrong, including their claim that they have caused the economy to rebound. The only things the Fed has done are (a) incentivize you to buy cars and homes because of cheap financing and (b) goose the stock market. As soon as interest rates creep up – they will – the economy will nose dive. But we should all be comforted by the fact that our new Fed Chairperson, Janet Yellen, is a diehard money printer. So the sluices will be open for quite a while. There’s only one little problem with this scenario: economic stagnation. Don’t believe me? Go check out Japan’s last 20 years. That might just be us in 20 more.

Yet Another Housing Boom? Look, Santa Barbara housing will never be cheap. But our market, especially in sub $1,000,000 housing that the poor of Santa Barbara have to live in, has been quite robust. In fact, the whole country’s housing market has been booming. Housing prices went up this year about 13 percent nationally. Wow. How did this happen? First, as I said above, cheap financing has to do with most of it. Mortgage rates are still historically low. And as prices have gone up, more people have been bailed out of their underwater and over-financed homes. But there are 6.5 million folks still in trouble. What else is driving housing? Investors. Yes, Big Money is buying homes by the thousand and renting them back to those who lost them. They are paying all cash and don’t need financing. (Try to compete with that.) This just smells like a paper boom to me. As interest rates rise – and they will eventually – watch out.

Obamacare Crashes This has been interesting to watch. As the government prepares to impose price and wage controls over the healthcare industry (one-sixth of the economy by some estimates), it has started out pretty much as expected. Despite forced-smile assurances by our President, it doesn’t work. Forget the web site. The President has had to give in to reality (i.e., what people want rather than what Washington wants) bit by bit. First he said you get to keep your old policy for another year (too late for most of us) and now he is backing off the mandate that everyone must have insurance. That’s great for those of you who can’t afford insurance and don’t wish to be forced to do so. But it’s bad news for insurance companies, because all those great benefits that Obamacare mandates them to provide will ultimately cause them to go broke without the young and healthy “contributing” to the system (i.e., being forced to subsidize everyone else). It’s unworkable. The future is murky here. My guess? Be prepared for the government to say “the free market doesn’t work” and move for a government run single-payer health care program like most countries in the world that are going broke as a result.

Who’s Working? This is something to worry about. The number of people who actually work in the total population of working-age people has been dropping like a rock since the Crash of ’08. In 2008, 66 percent of working-age folks had jobs. In 2013, it has fallen to 58 percent. That means 42 percent of potential workers aren’t working or even looking for a job. That impacts the unemployment statistics. So when the government tells you that unemployment is declining, that is true, but we are talking about a smaller pool of people actually looking for work, so declines are magnified out of proportion to the entire population. It’s sort of like when you feel like crap and

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Tax the Rich (Again?) This is one of the popular memes floating around Progressive think tanks again and again, and it’s resurfacing in Washington. They want the “rich” to pay their “fair share” of the tax burden. That’s a joke of course, since the “rich” pay all income taxes. According to a recent Congressional Budget Office report, the top 40 percent (the “rich”) pay all the taxes because the bottom 60 percent, after taking into consideration what they receive from the government, are in effect paying nothing. (Hey, don’t believe me, believe the CBO.) Even without that, the top 10 percent of income tax payers pay 70 percent of taxes! Which means the bottom 90 percent only pay 30 percent of taxes. So, fine, tax the rich, but don’t say it’s a fairness thing. By the way, this all reminds me of an old saying about killing some goose that lays golden eggs…

Low Wages Still Aren’t Fair This is another popular 2013 meme. The claim is that companies like WalMart aren’t paying “fair” wages (there’s that word again) and that they are “welfare queens,” because their low wage employees receive welfare benefits because they can’t live on the wages paid

and thus taxpayers “subsidize” these companies. This argument doesn’t hold water. First, wages are ultimately set by you, dear consumer, not Wal-Mart. So, if you wish to pay more for goods, then WalMart can raise wages, assuming every other competitor does the same. But you seem to want the most for your buck and you would go elsewhere if you found a better deal. In other words, it’s all your fault! Second, if wages are set above marketbased wages, then unemployment will result unless you believe that employers don’t think labor costs are a significant factor in their business. The overwhelming majority of studies have shown that a higher-than-market minimum wage will result in unemployment of low skilled workers. Third, welfare costs would be even higher but for these minimum wage jobs. Wal-Mart is doing us a favor by hiring low skilled workers, training them, paying them a wage they voluntarily accept and by giving them the opportunity to advance their lives.

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with Mark Léisuré

New Year New You

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

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t’s been a long, long time since the hard rocking band Café R&B last tore it up on the stage of SOhO – and even longer since the halcyon days when the super-charged quintet first made their local bones on the tiny window-front stage at Restaurant Roy back in the mid1990s. Now you can see the inimitable lead singer Roach – think Tina Turner meets Etta James with a splash of Lady Gaga – and her husband Byl Carruthers, who writes a lot of the group’s non-cover songs and plays a mean guitar, back at SOhO to close out 2013 and welcome the New Year. The couple lives in Santa Barbara now, which means hopefully we’ll see them more often (they did play at the poorly attended blues bash at Elings Park this summer). But New Year’s Eve suits them to a T. If you want to get down and dirty and elegant at the same time without forking over the $100 tab at SOhO (which does, however, include a very nice four-course dinner), perhaps you should head over to the Creek Side in midtown, where King Bee will ring in the new year “Diamonds & Denim” style for the first time outside of private parties in recent memory. That’ll set you back just $20, or $30 if you come as a couple. Best deal of all? Boogie down 2013’s final hours at the Chumash Casino with 70s disco tribute band Boogie Knights and 80s tribute rockers The Spazmatics. They’re offering free admission to holders of Club Chumash cards, which are also free.

Getting Vaud-y SOhO will also be boppin’ and weavin’ on January 5, when Vaud & The Villains – who shocked the heck out of the crowd at Chase Palm Park last June – play for just the second time in town. The 19-piece 1930s New Orleans orchestra and cabaret show will blow your mind and get your feet moving – if you can take your eyes off

the trio of lovely dancers who do all sorts of exotic moves during the night.

Snow in Carp Most municipalities do their fun-inthe-snow thing during the weeks leading up to Christmas, not three days after New Year’s. Then there’s Carpinteria. Carp isn’t your grandfather’s old town. Or maybe it is, as the sleepy oceanside community – still known best for having “the world’s safest beaches” – only really comes alive during the Avocado Festival in October. Other than that, Carp goes its own way. So on January 4, the way it will be going will be very white, as Snow Much To Do takes over downtown. The main drag, Linden Avenue, will be closed to cars from 10am to 3pm in favor of a snow play area loaded with ten tons of snow (and I think they mean that literally) in front of the Carpinteria Valley Arts Center. There will also be outdoor skating on the same 800 block of Linden, and a bike safety obstacle course for kids, plus a mobile bike shop where you can get your flats fixed and brakes adjusted for free. The Venturabased acoustic music duo Sam ‘n Ash (a clever and divine combo of accordion player Samantha Harvey and mandolinist Ashley Broder) will perform at Seal Fountain, and you can get your picture taken with Frosty the Snowman (isn’t he supposed to be hibernating by now?). If all of this activity makes you hungry, food trucks including Georgia’s Smokehouse and The Burger Bus will be on Linden, too. The fun continues when the sun goes down, as Ticket to Ride, the latest in Warren Miller’s annual ski film canon, screens at Plaza Playhouse Theater just around the corner. It’s the first film in the series to play during its current season in Carp – if ever – and admission is only $10, a lot less than they charged when the film played the Lobero last month. So maybe the PR tagline is true: Small towns do have more fun!

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Plan B

The Winehound is

by Briana Westmacott Hailing from NorCal, Briana has lived in Santa Bar-

MOVING

bara for the past fifteen years. While she is indeed an adjunct faculty member at SBCC and has contributed to LOVEmikana, Wake & Wander and Entrée Magazine, much of her time is spent multi-tasking her way through days as a mother, wife, sister, wantto-be chef and travel junky. Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability… usually.

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The Winehound

– Cheers, Bob Wesley & the Winehound Crew

y very first job was developing pictures in a photo lab. I’m not quite sure who decided to put a fifteen-year-old girl in charge of a vast array of dangerous chemicals, but I took that job very seriously. The process involved a great deal of tinkering and adjusting the exact chemical balance to craft the perfect image. I cultivated those colors and hues in order to bring someone’s vision to life. In other words, I took it to print. And now, twenty-five years later, I find myself capturing moments and putting them to print again, right here in this column. I have to admit, I’ve had some unabashed fun taking all my memories and experiences and sharing them with the Sentinel. And with each of you.

Painting Word Portraits Life is messy and I believe Plan B is all about accentuating the joy in those messes; only then can we make the shambles shine. It has been one heck of a year: There was a rat, a cat (RIP Misty Lu), some frogs, some falling down and lots of growing up. I published pantieless moments at rodeos, love affairs with all things vintage and more than one piece about how to anti-age via youthful behavior. Along the way, there was some

tree sitting, a Hurricane George and a snip about Wonder Woman flying the friendly skies. We had our fair share of trials and errors and mindful(less?)ness. It took commitment and vigor, laced with tears and laughter and a great deal of honesty. And I wouldn’t change it one bit. Happy New Year Sentinel readers. Here’s to many more clumsy adventures and to always enjoying the ride.

Briana’s Best Bets

s the year comes to an end, I like to take some time to go through my archives of photos on the computer and select a bunch to print for a photo book. I know it’s old fashioned, but I love to flip through those pages and see our year in pictures (and so do my kids). Samy’s Camera is the perfect place to print those pictures. After working in the old photo labs, I’m still real picky about the quality of my prints. Samy’s takes the time and effort to make my images worthy of gracing the pages of our annual family book. Samy’s Camera is located at 614 Chapala Street.

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...continued from p.24

…then I turned around and took this one looking back at the Mesa. What a place.

Here’s another fun little local thing Wendi and the girls and I like to do around town every year. A Christmassy dinner at the Chase. (That Chicken Piccata is amazing. And a celebratory glass of champagne never killed anybody. At least not anybody I know.) My kids and I had a blast flying around the skating rink up at the Earl Warren Showgrounds for Holiday Shop ‘n Roll. Very fun. Hope it comes back next year!

metamorphosis of the Funk Zone (see page 12 for more) and the steady rise of Milpas. National economics and local elections. Real estate. The Arts. Trader Joe’s parking woes. Body builders. Preppies. We’ve mountain biked and wine tasted in Ballard, snowboarded Tahoe and relaxed in poolside cabanas at the incomparable Bacara. We’ve sponsored festivals and artisan market/roller rinks.

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I took this shot another evening last week. That’s Jenny Schatzle “motivating” a group of Schatzlites in De La Guerra Plaza…

…just before they all took over State Street for an impromptu mile to the beach. (She’s got a cool little community of fitness freaks.)

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We’ve been serious. We’ve joked around, too. Most importantly, we’ve had fun. And we – I in particular – hope you have too. The truth is that I have personally learned a lot about a lot of fun groups and terrific people right here in our community. From Jenny Schatzle to TSFC – maybe TSCF is better, Tara, Stay Cancer Free! – to the OCR gang and the mountain bikers mentioned above; from Jamie at Guitar Bar and Ian at Cutler’s Artisan Spirits to Sherry, Dan and Jason at The Lark and Brian and Eric at Les Marchands to Christian at Avelina and Tony at Fig. Bruce and the gang at Hazards. Michael at McConnell’s. The whole damned staff at The Nugget. Natalie at Float. Jim at Blueline. Valerie and Katie at the Holiday Shop ‘n Roll. There are many others. I wish I had the room to list them all. The long and short of it is that I’ve been exposed more deeply and more broadly to the place I love so much, and my feelings for and connections to our town have only grown stronger. And I think it’s fair to say that, ultimately, the Sentinel has found its way into the coffee shops and onto the coffee tables of Santa Barbara. People are picking us up. And they are reading. I love that. And I want nothing more than to see it continue in 2014.

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“You know what I mean?” The large sweaty man next to me looked impatient. “Hey, you know what I mean?” “Oh, sorry,” I hadn’t been listening very well and frankly had no idea how long he’d been talking. “What was that?” “Did you see this guy’s trip to Tahoe?” He was smiling. “Sounded great. I’m

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thinking of heading up.” “Uh, yeah,” I smiled back. “Yeah, I did see that.” “What about the one where he went up to Big Sur and beamed text messages to aliens?” “You know,” I started, “I used to just not mention it to people.” “What’s that?” “Well, I’m Matt. You know, the guy with the shades on the cover of that paper.” “You’re Matt?” he was surprised. “Yep. I’m Matt.” “Oh man, it’s quite a paper you’ve put together. My wife and I read it every week.”

“Thanks man, I appreciate that, truly.” “You know, I hate to ask, but… who writes Crimetime? And is that Mac McGill for real? And what happened to Valley Girl? What about Goleta Girl? What’s with the shades? That picture of you in the Flamenco outfit was hilarious... where’d you get the clothes? And who came up with El Sentin? And and and…” What a ride it’s been, everybody, keep reading. I’ll see you around town.

STUFF I LIKE

I barely mentioned it, but I’ve really been enjoying Santa Barbara

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Athletic Club again over the past few months. I was a member for a number of years and then took a little break, but I’m glad to be back. The Club has been transformed in many ways – the renovations were a success for sure – and yet it still retains much of the local charm it has always had. It’s a place to both work out hard and relax with friends over a beer or glass of wine, and it’s one that I have personally rediscovered as a little SB treat. Check it out for the New Year: Santa Barbara Athletic Club, 520 Castillo Street; (805) 966-6147; www.sbac.swellclubs. com. (Two notes: Swell also owns and

operates Cathedral Oaks Athletic Club, which is worth a look: www. coac.swellclubs.com. And I hear that GM Tom Horne is a huge fan of the Sentinel and can sometimes be found reading it in the sauna. If that’s really the case, Tom, I’ll bet we’ll be meeting soon. Thanks for picking us up!) I love the fact that this issue will be on the racks for two weeks rather than just one since we are taking a week off to recharge the batteries. Here’s to a happy, healthy and prosperous 2014 right here in Santa Barbara. Peace, everybody, catch you on the flip side.

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Ethan Culler, Kurt Leingang and Emily Odean enjoy the evening’s festivities.

with Julie Bifano Ms Bifano is drawn to micro-fiction and is currently writing her first novel – “The Grace Below.” She has a B.A. in English with an emphasis in writing from the University of San Francisco and a M.F.A. in Creative Writing, also from the University of San Francisco. More of Julie’s stories and poetry can be viewed on her website juliebifano.com.

Get Your Drink On… Legally! Kyle Herman, Ted Mills, and Joe Andrieu show off a bottle of Silver Lightning Moonshine.

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.” – W.C. Fields

he holidays can be stressful and hectic. They’ve even been known to cause headaches and anxiety. The colder weather sometimes becomes an excuse for holiday weight gain. (I told my fiancé just the other night, “Sweetie, it’s chilly outside. Let’s just stay in and order a large Rusty’s pizza with sides of ranch and sodas.”) Then there’s the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping and traveling and inlaws and parties and, well, everything else. So what could be better right smack dab in the middle of all of that than celebrating the end of Prohibition? On December 5, 1933, the 21st

Christy Prager and Jace Rodriguez show off their stylish 1920s garb.

Amendment repealed Prohibition. (See? Government can work for the benefit of the people.) In commemoration, on Thursday, December 5, 2013, participating SB bars like the Marquee, Cielito, the Pickle Room (née Jimmy’s), Blue Agave, Cadiz, Roy, Milk & Honey and the Wildcat had discounts on a vast assortment of both pre- and postProhibition specialty drinks. Happy holidays. Very happy holidays indeed.

Scott Sampia, owner of the Marquee bar, kicks off the celebration with unique cocktails and special tastings.

The Best Thing About Prohibition Is Celebrating Its Repeal A chilly wind swept through the Santa Barbara air. Unusual sightings of scarves, gloves, coats, boots and hats met the eyes

of passersby on a sparkling and brilliantly lit State Street. I walked into the Marquee to shake off the cold and meet the gregarious founders of Repeal Day, Ted Mills and Joe Andrieu. I was quickly introduced to Kyle Herman, the Vice President of Sales for Ascendant Spirits up in Buellton. (Remember Valley Girl’s terrific column on Ascendant, Beautiful Buellton’s Booze Maker (Vol. 2, Issue 39)?) Kyle shared some interesting facts about Ascendant’s Silver Lightening Moonshine, which felt rather appropriate under the circumstances. “The pre-Prohibition style white Whiskey – moonshine – is produced in the Santa Ynez Valley,” he started. “The yeast is pervasive in the Valley and gets into the mash.” I learned mash is corn,

Dan Levin makes Marquee feel like a speakeasy – proof that priests can have fun too.

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Kimberley Green, Carter Sisney and Deanna Graves celebrate the end of Prohibition in style.

A swanky bunch have a ball at Roy.

Cat Robson and Shirley Stratton say Prohibition is dead.

Jess Hinds and Leena Inoles stand in front of a bar filled with alcoholic beverages.

Reed manifests her 1933 end of Prohibition spirit.

Lovely local ladies Brenda Hall and Michele Minor show off their spiffy Repeal Day attire.

which is one of the ingredients used to cook the alcohol. Kyle continued, “The Silver Lightening is only one of eight whiskies in the world awarded the double gold honor at the New York International Spirits Competition.” “And it’ll put some hair on your chest,” an anonymous bystander whispered to me. After a quick taste of Silver Lightening (no hair, I checked), I glanced around the bar and realized it was filled with fabulous folks dressed to the nines in glittering vintage 1920s and 1930s garb. Some were even in character, ending sentences with

“yeah see,” the famous James Cagney expression. Fun times. I had a chance on a chilly jaunt to Roy to talk a bit with co-founder Ted Mills. “We think Repeal Day should be a national holiday for a few reasons,” he explained. “Unlike other drink-based holidays like St. Patrick’s Day, Repeal Day is a real historical reason to toast to each other with a tasty alcoholic beverage. Also, it comes between two very stressful holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas. But, for Repeal Day, you don’t have to travel, you don’t have to buy gifts, and you don’t have the stress of extended families. You just have to raise a glass. Cheers!” Well put, Ted, I couldn’t agree more. Yeah see.

Karinda Lahens poses for a quick shot with Celia and Ducan Wright.

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by Jim Luksic

A longtime writer, editor and film critic, Jim has worked nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal, Las Cruces Sun-News and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his seventh state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast and Los Angeles, you can find Jim writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

This Is (Really) The End

have no qualms about pointing out that 2013 was a quality year for movies, and not only because my favorite genre (dramas, especially those saturated in crime) proved bountiful. For the record: Due to an early press deadline – and the fact I didn’t spend December in Los Angeles or New York City – this critic hasn’t yet reviewed The Wolf of Wall Street or The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Fodder for 2014, for sure. Science fiction did itself proud, though a handful fell short of crème de la crème status. Anybody who ventured to the cineplex for such cool breezes as Pacific Rim, Elysium, World War Z and Ender’s Game was treated to narrative and optical surprises. On the downside, many sequels and remakes were shameless and inexcusable – no matter how much money they were slated to rake in. I sat through some of the most pathetic, juvenile comedies and horror flicks that somehow reached the silver screen; my bottom-feeders lurk at the end of this column, where they belong. Additional disappointments that qualified as low riders include This Is The End (not a moment too soon), overhyped Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (the pretense and absurdities continue as well), Grown Ups 2 (which couldn’t have been less mature), Man of Steel (which needed audiences of steel to endure its interminable length and product placements), Escape Plan (there was no escaping the implausibility) and Peeples, whose title was the only thing worse than the movie itself. For positive vibes and uplift, serious viewers were rewarded with the likes of The Impossible, Prisoners, The East, Captain Phillips, Nebraska, Walking the Camino, Philomena, The Bling Ring and a dynamic duo – The Company You Keep and All Is Lost – both of which starred an honorable Robert Redford. Any of those pictures will suffice for folks who prefer watching in the “comfort” of their homes – the size of your TV screen notwithstanding. Here are the past year’s personal best – in no particular order – followed by the most hated that belong at the bottom of a long-forgotten closet:

TOP 10

WORST 10

Dallas Buyers Club The Place Beyond The Pines Gravity Fruitvale Station Renoir Out of the Furnace Mud The Way Way Back American Hustle Side Effects

Getaway Movie 43 A Good Day to Die Hard Evil Dead Scary Movie 5 The Heat A Madea Christmas 21 and Over InAPPropriate Comedy You’re Next

Happy New Year, everybody. Here’s to a terrific 2014!

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GIRL

by Kateri Wozny Kateri is an award-winning journalist with a

background in print, online, radio and TV news. A native of Minneapolis, MN, she has written for the Chicago Sun-Times Media Group, Pepperdine University and Acorn Newspapers. She works full time as a public relations manager locally and loves exploring the Santa Barbara fashion scene. Follow her on Twitter @kitkatwozny.

Beautiful Boots Are Made for Walkin’

Romp Shoe Boutique in Los Olivos Is Well Worth the Drive

was craving two simple yet very important things last weekend: Wine and shopping. So I did what any hungry gal might do to satisfy my (admittedly voracious) appetite under similar circumstances. I headed up to lovely Los Olivos in my favorite pair of Miss Capezio vintage boots. ‘Twas there that I came upon the recently opened Romp shoe boutique, which greeted me warmly with its own amazing array of stylish boots. I knew quickly that I’d come to the right place. Owner and buyer Karen English also kindly welcomed me in her knee high gray Italian leather boots. She forced – forced, I tell you – a variety of miniature cupcakes upon me from Enjoy Cupcakes just down the street. (One particularly heavenly tiny cake made with ginger, lime and Chardonnay had me silently begging for more.) Told you I’d come to the right place.

Karen Knows Her (Italian) Boots Originally from Oregon, Karen worked in retail since she was sixteen and always wanted to open up her own fashion boutique. “Everyone kept asking me, ‘Where do you find great shoes?’ We had nowhere to buy beautiful, high-end shoes on the Central Coast,” she told me. After consulting with friend and shoe business owner Mike Jolley of Jolie Shoes in Portland, Karen opened her first Romp boutique in 2005 on Higuera Street in San Luis Obispo. With high-end shoes imported from Italy, she and Jolley were proud to feature designers not carried anywhere else in the U.S. “It was a special and very exciting time to open with such unique lines,” she reminisced.

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Romp’s a very cute little shop with tons of quality boots to choose from. Check it out (if you haven’t already!).

Romp owner Karen English (I want those boots, damnit!).

After much success with the San Luis Obispo store, Karen considered a second location and had always been attracted to the quaint countryside of Los Olivos. “I have always loved Los Olivos. I heard Wendy Foster opened a store (in June) and I thought, ‘Wow, that’s really saying something [about the area].’ I went to check it out and [Foster’s] buyer told me about a space available next door.” And so it was. Eight years after starting her first store, Karen opened her second back on September 28. Romp Los Olivos is a quarter of the size of her San Luis Obispo boutique, with furnishings and décor that really reflect the feeling of the town. Think antique pieces like an oxen yoke to display handbags, pillars to frame her mirror and a cowhide rug, which they’ve nicknamed Romeo (yee-haw!). There’s even a steer horn from Karen’s husband’s grandfather’s ranch in Arizona. Dogs are welcome (yay!); well-behaved doggies might even get a treat from Karen’s stash behind the counter. “I encourage customers to bring their dogs in and want them to have a good time as well,” she smiled. Karen travels to Italy twice a year to pick out shoes that take her breath away and will fill her customers’ desires, bringing back brands such as Fiorentini & Baker, Alberto Fermani, Gianluca Tombolini and Area Forte. “Everyone needs a great pair of Italian handmade boots in their closet. They are exquisite to look at and wonderful to wear,” she was smiling again.

I love the feel up in the Valley, and in Los Olivos in particular. This says it all.

That squirrel is trying to steal my boots (I want those boots, damnit!).

Romp also carries dazzling jewelry by designers like Susan Cummings, Lily Lambert, Grace by Anastasia and Luna Azul. And there are handbags too! (Mialuis, Mel Boteri and WILL Leather Goods.) Next year, English plans on having trunk shows for Luna Azul, Boteri and Grace by Anastasia. “They have such gorgeous pieces,” she gushed.

Buying Boots Is Good For Everybody Karen is also a huge supporter of local causes, with proceeds having gone to organizations such as Soles 4 Souls, the Cal Poly Mustang Athletic Club, San Luis Obispo Women’s Shelter, Santa Ynez Natural History Society and the Sexual Assault Recovery and Prevention Center of San Luis Obispo County. “I am so pleased to be in a position to reach out and help those in need. My heart has always been to help those less fortunate,” Karen says. (Told you I came to the right place.) Currently, Karen splits her time between both boutiques, as she resides up in Arroyo Grande. “I have had the most incredible reception [since opening]. Everyone has been so kind, enthusiastic and welcoming,” she said. “I’m super excited to be here.”

Like I said, there are great handbags and jewelry at Romp, too. (What, did you think I was lying?)

I was too. A new pair of Karen’s boots will soon meet my feet. Before long, though, I saddled up my horse – okay, I got into my car – and rode (okay, drove) off into the sunset for that glass of delicious SYV vino to round out my day.

Romp Los Olivos is located at 2928 San Marcos Avenue. Hours are Monday to Sunday from 10am to 5pm. For more information, call 688-1071 or visit www.rompshoes.com. Don’t forget to like them on Facebook and follow on Twitter @RompShoes. It’s worth the trip, trust me.

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NEW YEAR’S GUIDE

.com

• LOVE IS FREE

SANTA BARBARA LIVING

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SANTA BARBARA SKINNY

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What: New Year’s Eve Dance Party Where: Chumash Casino, 3400 East Highway 246, Santa Ynez When: Tuesday, December 31, 8pm Why: Here’s your chance to dance your way into 2014. How: Boogie down as you count down to 2014 during a fun-filled flashback concert featuring ‘70s disco tribute band Boogie Knights and totally awesome ‘80s band the The Spazmatics. .com

WINE & DINE

Visions of Chocolate Still Dance In Our Heads

SANTA Byo urARBARA SKINNY gui de to

By Eve Sommer Belin ost every Santa Barbaran knows of our wonderful gem of a chocolate shop, Chocolate Maya. (And if you don’t, get acquainted stat!) But did you know that this time of year they create the most delightful little chocolates full of holiday flare? Milk and dark chocolate trees, dark Christmas spice snow men, blood orange stars, marzipan mice, elderberry red flowers, milk chocolate praline Rudolphs, solid chocolate Santa Claus and more. The best thing? There’s still some left! All with tiny details that make each piece extra special. Visit Chocolate Maya and go ahead and check “purchase amazing sweets” off your post-Christmas to-do list. While you are there, make sure to stay a while in the Chocolate Lounge and enjoy a cup of hot cocoa. It’s the real deal. Really. www.chocolatemaya.com.

What’ll It Cost Me: Free with your Chumash Club Card (that’s free, too)!

SANTA BARBARA LIVING

• LOOSE CHANGE What: A Burlesque New Year’s Eve Where: Seven Bar & Kitchen, 224 Helena Avenue When: Tuesday, December 31, 7pm Why: It’s a fancy party, darlings! How: Mingle with Lucille Ball, Marilyn Monroe, Bettie Page and others. Don’t forget to dress to impress! What’ll It Cost Me: $10 general admission/$20 includes a glass of champagne!

• HEY BIG SPENDER

STYLE FILE GETAWAY By Briana Westmacott

t’s over. The holidays are behind us and it’s time to carry on. Move forward. We think it’s the perfect time for a getaway. We snuck up to Alisal Ranch (just over the hill from SB) to see just what is going on out there and were quite happy with what we found. Alisal is situated on over 10,000 acres of landscape that parallels pristine. No phones. No TV. It’s quiet. It’s breathtaking. It’s better than you can imagine. The resort offers two championship golf courses, over 50 miles of equestrian trails, a 100-acre lake for fishing and a full service spa. Once you check in, there’s really no reason to leave. There are two restaurants on site that offer mouthwatering menus. You can play tennis or go for a swim. We hiked at sunset and took in sweeping views of the entire Santa Ynez Valley. But the best part of our stay was the breakfast ride. At dawn, we slipped on our boots and headed out to the barn. The Alisal staff saddled us up with some great horses and our wrangler took us out on the land. There were deer, bald eagles, cattle and quiet rolling hills. After an hour we descended into the famous grove of sycamores that inspired Alisal’s name from the Chumash Indians. There we dined on a full breakfast worthy of any vaquero. It was perfection. There are so many special things out at Alisal. We could go on and on and on about all that is nestled in that sweet valley. But we think you should head out there and check it out for yourself. You deserve a break and Alisal is just the place to recharge and reward yourself. Grab your boots and go!

What: Mad Men Bash Where: The El Encanto, 800 Alvarado Place When: Tuesday, December 31, 5:30pm Why: A little party never killed nobody. How: Ring in the New Year in your festive midcentury finest, and dance the night away to crooner Luca Ellis and his band. The evening will feature hors d’oeuvres, a dessert bar and a champagne toast at midnight. What’ll It Cost Me: Attend just the bash for $65. Festive dinner and wine pairings are available earlier in the evening starting at $85 per person.

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PUMP IT N.A.S.M, Kickboxing and SPIN Certified, Jenny Schatzle is known for changing bodies and changing lives. Her approach to fitness is about not only “getting fit” physically but also how, through exercise, nutrition and a positive motivational environment, you can change your lifestyle for the better. Jenny’s program and the results she consistently achieves have made her one of the most sought-after experts in Santa Barbara.

Resolution Resolve

ow. Time flies when you’re having fun. It has been an amazing year with so many people taking control of their lives and making the change. And now begins 2014. I can’t wait to see what it holds in store. The start of a New Year in the fitness and health world is like Black Friday in retail. The resolutions start early: “After the holidays, I’m going to [insert: eat better, work out, lose weight, drink less].” Any of those sound familiar? Let’s face it, the easy part is saying it, the tough part is actually following through and doing it. So for 2014 here is what I want to do: Commit! If you’re committed, I’m committed. I have all the tools to help you achieve whatever goal or change you desire. But you have to do the work. Change happens when you want it. And 2014 is going to be the year you take the steps toward getting that change and reaching your health, fitness and lifestyle goals. All you have to do is want the change. Then commit and make it happen. Nutrition: The nutrition tip this week is simple. Alcohol. I know it’s the season and New Year’s is that time when we stay up late and let go. But I want you to start this year feeling great and not hung over! Celebrate the end of a great year but, hey, have one or two glasses of wine and not the whole bottle. I want you to think about how you want to start 2014. Do you want to wake up hung over, puffy and tired, or do you want to wake up rested and ready to take the steps toward your goals? Easy choice. See you in 2014, everybody, have a terrific holiday. Warm-up: Easy jog and jumping jacks for 3 – 5 minutes. Workout: Get out your stop watch, folks, and do each of the following movements in each

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ADVANCED FINISHER: Do the following round at the top of every minute for 7 minutes: 10 – Side lunges 10 – Mountain climbers 10 – Pop-ups IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT THERE IS RISK OF INJURY ASSOCIATED WITH ANY AND ALL PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, WHETHER STRENUOUS OR NOT. IF YOU HAVE ANY RELATED CONCERNS AT ALL, THEN PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SPEAK WITH YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE ENGAGING IN THE EXERCISE PROGRAM ABOVE. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT PARTICULAR MOVEMENTS, THEN PLEASE CALL OR WRITE JENNY SCHATZLE DIRECTLY SO SHE CAN ANSWER THEM. REGARDLESS, HOWEVER, AS A RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING, BY PARTICIPATING IN THE FOREGOING EXERCISE PROGRAM, YOU ASSUME ALL OF THE RISK OF DOING SO AND VOLUNTARILY RELEASE, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW, ANY AND ALL CLAIMS AGAINST JENNY SCHATZLE BOOTCAMP AND/OR THE SANTA BARBARA SENTINEL.

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round for 30 seconds each. Then repeat the round two more times (total of three rounds). This is difficult but don’t let that stop you. Modify if you need to. Getting up and doing even half of a workout puts you way out in front of the people just sitting on their couches! 3. Movements – 30 seconds each/3 rounds 1. Squats 2. Push-ups 3. Plank 4. Movements – 30 seconds each/3 rounds 1. Squat jumps 2. Tricep push-ups 3. Plank 4. Crunches 5. Movements – 30 seconds each/3 rounds 1. Front lunge 2. Tricep push-up (hold) 3. Back lunge 4. Dive bombers (yoga move) 5. Side plank hip lifts – right side 6. Side plank hip lifts – left side 6. Movements – 30 seconds each/3 rounds 1. Quick feet 2. Regular push-up HOLD 3. Speed skaters 4. Run in place (fast, butt kickers) 5. Burpees (super fun!) 6. Plank

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