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SB’s hub for od, Fashion, Art, Foolks Libations, and F t.. . who do it righ

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V O L 4 I S S 12 J U N E 13 - 27

2015

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SB MATCHMAKER LISA DARSONVAL-AMADOR PROMISES THREE MONTHS OF FULL-SERVICE DATING ADVICE – INCLUDING STYLE AND IMAGE COACHING – IN A CONCERTED EFFORT TO FIND SOMEONE JUST FOR YOU. (STORY BEGINS ON P.17)

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Content

 



COVER I Heart SB – Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match: Elizabeth Rose gets cozy with

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Santa Barbara Matchmaking’s professional cupid Lisa Darsonval-Amador about finding love in all the right places P.5  Sharon’s Take – Sharon Byrne is on the lookout for affordable places to live in SB, but the current market climate for renters is cloudy without much of a silver lining P.6  The Bi-weekly Capitalist – Jeff Harding digs into election season, washing his hands of the Clintons and Bushes while expressing support for Rand Paul P.7  State Street Scribe – Canadians steamroll into European declivity recently emptied of sea water and liberate lowlanders, one of whom much later forges a separate peace with his erstwhile enemies. That’s right, another story from the Bevrijdingsdag files. P.8  Beer Guy – Zach Rosen salutes the Firestone Walker Invitational Beer Festival (its lengthy name deserves a cold brew), raising a glass to favorites from Denmark to Florida P.10 The Fortnight – Dolphins turn hearts, Old Lobero hosts half of Tom and Jerry, New Wave Klezmer catches fire in Victoria Court, Jewish Center features Next Gen Shecky Greenes. Sit right back and you’ll hear a tale of nutty Clipperton Island, and the LA Philharmonic gets bitch slapped in The Good Land. Not much to report. P.12 SY Valley Snapshot – Eva Van Prooyen puts brush to canvas while observing Gypsy Studios painting in an SYV vineyard; Curry and a Pint; Solvang Summer Concert Series; Maverick’s Concerts on the Deck; Birdie music in Solvang; and photography with Sanford Winery  Man About Town – Mark Léisuré invades the Live Oak Camp before the Oak Music Festival on Father’s Day weekend; Venus in Fur and My Fair Lady; guitarist Jesse Rhodes; MAW’s 68th summer fest. P.16 the Local– An obsession with a 5-second hairdo; 5 things about Nina Lafuente Waxing; Martin Gore of Depeche Mode chimes in; Parma Park; Quick Bites of fig balsamic dressing; Raising the Bar with Sly’s Margarita; and then some P.22 Made in SB – Kateri Wozny surveys the Goleta scene and the buzz surrounding San Marcos Farms, where the produce is sweet as honey P.23 Behind The Vine – Hana-Lee Sedgwick digs below Jeff Fischer’s TV character and taps into his second act: winemaker and owner of Habit Wine Company P.24 Food File – Christina Enoch delves into oodles of noodles, and proclaims it’s all about that broth while getting her ramen groove on P.29 Cinema Scope – James Luksic alludes to Jurassic World, touches on Spy and Tomorrowland, then elaborates about San Andreas, Entourage, and Love & Mercy P.30 Plan B – With Father’s Day on the horizon, Briana Westmacott reminisces about her biological dad and a timely package that he’d mailed: was it all part of the plan?

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by Sharon Byrne

take

Sharon’s education in engineering and psychology gives her a distinctive mix of skills for writing about and working on quality-of-life, public safety and public policy issues. Her hyper-local SB View column can be found every other week.

Finding a Place: Santa Barbara’s Current Rental Market is Perhaps the Worst Ever

I

’ve been hearing a lot about how bad it is for renters out there right now. People keep asking me to keep my eyes open – they need to find a place to live, and there’s nothing. Curious, I checked out Cr aigslist. Found this: $850, 1 BR, 165 Sq. Ft. Montecito. Charming, quiet, secluded, studio cottage. Microwave, small refrigerator and toaster oven. Utilities and internet included for reasonable usage. Okay, so it’s not really a 1-bedroom. It’s a studio, but hey, $850 is a good rate. Can’t be that bad out there, right? Here’s the catch: Monday-Friday (you arrive Monday and leave by Friday morning.) This is for a commuter. You would have private use of the studio and wouldn’t have to take your stuff with you each weekend. You would be the only one using the studio (in fact, it is not suitable for a guest.) Finding good rentals here has been a problem for at least the past 15 years. I can attest to that because I have navigated the local rental market a few times over that time period, and each time, my heart sinks into my stomach as I get ready to survey properties that are overpriced, under-maintained, next to the freeway/ railroad tracks, etc. With no yard, parking wars on the street – and hey, we don’t really like kids (as they eye mine). Five years ago, $1,800 for a two-bedroom apartment was about market rate. Now it’s $2,500. That $1,800 can maybe get you a 1-bedroom. $1,000 for a studio used to be high. Rooms in rental shares are now going for that price. A friend recently rented a studio cottage with a closet-sized “bedroom” (looked like an afterthought storage area), a tiny yard, no parking, and a sketchy neighborhood for the bargain price of $1,400 per month. I suspect this place last rented for $700

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per month. When rental supply stock is super tight, you can pretty much charge what you want, knowing some poor desperate sod will be forced to take it because there just is nothing else. We’re in a major housing squeeze, folks. Some are blaming it on greedy landlords, some on the student explosion at UCSB/City College/EFL schools. Some blame it on vacation-rental-by-owner units. There are a lot of these, and the city appears poised to do something on that front, as it removes precious housing stock. I’ve heard tales of property management companies hosting open houses, charging a slew of frantic people $60 each to get their application in, and then hand-picking the tenant. People refresh Craigslist by the minute and jump on anything that might open, hoping to beat everyone else. Some drive around looking for garage sales as a sign of an upcoming vacancy. Gone are the days of the $2,000-a-month poorly maintained rental house, occupied by long-term Latino families, living together in jammed conditions. Many of those are now student housing, at double the previous rates, without any property improvements. If you’re lucky enough to be sitting in a belowmarket-rate rental, because you got it before things shot through the roof, your rent can only be raised 10 percent annually under the law. In a hot market, it can take years of legal rental raises to match today’s high rates. So landlords use month-to-month leases, leaving tenants vulnerable to 30 and 60-day termination notices. Then the rent can be raised to whatever the landlord or property manager thinks they can command on the market. Eager would-be renters with stellar credit and thousands in deposit, first and last month’s rent, will happily flood the open house to get in. In a tight rental market like ours, with a 0.5 percent vacancy rate, the gouge factor is on. But I’ve also heard of landlords with compassion, who don’t raise the rents high, who understand the difficulties of finding a decent rental here. Some question why they should risk losing a good tenant just to get more rent, when the new tenant could prove to be a costly maintenance pain, a major party animal, or very difficult to evict? No thanks. I’d like to compile a collage of the rental market here, so send me your story as a tenant or landlord. I can’t promise to publish every story, or every word of your story. But in a page or less, tell me your first-hand experience of navigating this difficult rental market. I want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly. So send them in to letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

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Bi-Weekly Capitalist by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding is a real estate investor and a writer on economics and finance. He is the former publisher of the Daily Capitalist, a popular economics blog. He is also an adjunct professor at SBCC.

Security or Liberty, and Snowden

T

his is election season again. As usual, the cream has settled to the bottom of the barrel, and the sour and watery dregs have risen to the top. I wish it were more like the Game of Thrones series (one of my favorite shows). At least you know where they stand. Instead, we get the Frank Underwoods of House of Cards (another favorite show), and, like Frank, they all say words they think we want to hear but rarely mean it. It’s an accepted fact that politicians will say anything to get elected. I think I reported this before, but as some wag said, with 320 million folks in this country, can’t we get anyone other than another Bush and Clinton? Hillary? She’s too afraid to take a stand on anything other than getting unregistered Democrats to vote. Jeb Bush? This re-run Republicrat will appeal to those who can’t make a decision. Ted Cruz apparently knows what the Man Upstairs wants for us. Marco Rubio thinks we are weak and need more security. Rick Santorum is still the pope’s man. Huckabee, I am sure, still doesn’t believe in evolution, and Rick “Oops” Perry believes in Texas. Scott Walker runs against unions and bureaucracy, and Chris Christie is DOA. Most of them mouth words such

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as “freedom” and the “sanctity of the Constitution” but are willing to trash it all in the name of national security. Why? Well, obviously because all you soccer moms and hawks think America is under siege by the forces of the East and the South. The word to describe it is “pandering.” It’s a fake issue. America has the most powerful military in the world, we spend more on defense than the next seven biggest nations combined and we spy on everyone. That didn’t prevent 9-11, Boston, ISIS, or the TSA letting weapons slip through airports. Will more make us safer? Don’t count on it. You will notice that I left out one important name running for president: Rand Paul. As readers might guess, he is my guy, all things being equal. The Conventional Wisdom is that he doesn’t have a chance, but so far the polls have proved his doubters wrong. Here’s one reason why I like him: the recent “USA Freedom Act”, a name that ranks high in the annals of disinformation, marked the first time since 9-11 that the government’s vast and illegal spying on its own citizens was curtailed. And it came about because of two people: Rand Paul and Edward Snowden. Paul opposes the Patriot Act, the law giving the government vast spying powers. The act specifically forbade the

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government from spying on its citizens unless they obtained a court warrant. Snowden inconveniently pointed out that our government was illegally spying on American citizens and were lying about it. Senator Paul led several filibusters over this issue, and when the Patriot Act came up for renewal (under the so-called Freedom Act), he sought to change the legislation to restrict those overreaching and illegal activities. Although Senator Paul opposed the final bill because he believed it

Most of them mouth words such as “freedom” and the “sanctity of the Constitution” but are willing to trash it all in the name of national security didn’t go far enough to protect our Constitutional rights, he and senator Ron Wyden forced Congress to pass a compromise bill that now requires the government to get a warrant before it spies on its citizens. It’s the least they could do, but it’s a start. Senator Paul made this happen. The hysteria over this legislation was not funny as the advocates of illegal unconstitutional spying accused Paul of aiding ISIS, giving away America to the terrorists, being naïve, reckless, and, gasp, isolationist. Yet no one could

identify any terrorists or terrorist acts that were prevented by NSA and its illegal snooping. Even if they said yes, illegal spying has stopped terrorists, I would not believe them. After all, it was James Clapper, the government’s head of national Intelligence who lied to Congress by denying NSA was spying on Americans even though he knew it was. Snowden revealed that lie. It’s not that Big Brother has gone away: the NSA and its sister agencies still have vast powers to snoop on us, but at least for a while they are required to get a court warrant to do that. If you are one of those who believe that illegal spying is necessary to protect the United States of America from terrorists, you would be wrong. This is a dangerous trend for us – the proverbial slippery slope to tyranny. History will tell you that the greatest violator of human rights and the destroyer of freedom is government. Whether you call it government, kingship, oligarchy, theocracy, or a majoritarian democracy that tramples the rights of the minority, it is government that so easily jettisons human rights in the name of security. America is one of the few nations in the world that has a constitutional democratic republic that guarantees the rights of individuals, majority or minority, and we had to struggle like hell to get there. We are still struggling to get there. It’s a fragile thing in a world hostile to freedom, and we need to guard it with all the zealotry that people such as Snowden and Paul can muster. The Freedom Act’s small step is a good step, and we should be grateful that it happened.

Publisher/Editor • Tim Buckley | Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Managing Editor • James Luksic | Opinion • sbview.com Columnists Shop Girl • Kateri Wozny | You Have Your Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | Food File • Christina Enoch Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | The Drivers Seat • Randy Lioz Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Tommie Vaughn Stylin’ & Profilin’ • Megan Waldrep | Fortnight • Jeff Wing State Street Scribe • Jeff Wing | Holistic Deliberation • Allison Antoinette Up Close • Jacquelyn De Longe | Behind The Vine • Hana-Lee Sedgwick Cinema Scope • James Luksic Advertising/Sales Tanis Nelson • 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks • 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell • 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Kim Collins • 805.895.1305 • kim@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every other Friday 133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: tim@santabarbarasentinel.com








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STATE STREET SCRIBE by Jeff Wing

Jeff is a journalist, raconteur, autodidact, and polysyllable enthusiast. A long-time resident of SB, he takes great delight in chronicling the lesser known facets of this gaudy jewel by the sea. Jeff can be reached at jeffwingg@gmail.com

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Over $1 Billion in Sales!

Bevrijdingsdag and You

Dan Encell is one of the few real estate agents in the world who has successfully closed over a billion dollars in residential sales. This tremendous achievement is a result of 24 years of creative marketing, extensive

Get me to the church on time! Koos leads the way.

H

ere’s a lighthearted, summery question to get the season’s beach theme going; are we history’s pawns, or its masters? The occasion of my asking is bikini season, of course, and the fact that the swimwear term bikini derives from the 1946 test of a postwar super-bomb. True story. Do we know how to take the sting out of war or what? It’s also a fact that May and June are both historically connected to conflict, and we are familiar with these commemorations. As absolutely everyone around here knows, last month’s Cinco de Mayo was a nod to the undermanned Mexican army’s surprise drubbing of the invading French in the 1862 Battle of Puebla. As it happens, May 5 was also Liberation Day in Holland; Bevrijdingsdag, they

call it, and I’m afraid it’s pronounced pretty much the way it’s spelled. Every May 5, the Dutch commemorate the day the liberating Canadian First Army rolled into Holland and uprooted the exhausted and broken German forces. Judie’s hometown is over there, a cozy township on the Dutch channel coast called Monster, the name not related to neck bolts but to the town’s being a 12th-century host to a monastery of note. Monster’s WWII Bevrijdingsdag memorial stands adjacent to a video rental shop near the town center. The slightly expressionist bronze statue is of a woman in a sort of tunic. She faces in the direction of the nearby ocean and raises her right hand in welcome, ...continued p.28

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by Zach Rosen

Tasting the Best at Firestone Invitational

Media and beerdoes crowd around Jim Crooks to get a pour of a special edition Barrelworks beer

Each brewer at the Firestone Walker Invitational has been hand-selected and include such world favorites as Mikkeller from Denmark and Cigar City from Florida

T

he Firestone Walker Invitational Beer Festival is arguably the best beer festival in the world. In my opinion, the balance of size, quality, and setting makes this one of the most desirable beer events to take place every year. Brewers, writers, and beerdoes come from all around the country (and world) to attend this festival. Restaurants from the Central Coast set up booths with small bites that attendees can taste between beer samples. The participating breweries are hand-selected from around the globe. Each one brings more than just top-shelf beers, they bring special editions of their beers, side projects, or just whatever general beer craziness they can come up with. Like the Berliner Weisse, Hottenroth, from The Bruery? Try a lime-themed mojito edition at the festival. Ever hunted down a taste of 120-minute IPA from Dogfish Head? Well, at the festival you can taste a 2011 version of the 120-minute IPA. No matter what beer you try there, it is going to be stellar. The event is hosted by Firestone Walker Brewing Co, and the brewery certainly seems to serve everything from

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

New Zealand brewers from Garage Project pour the innovative 2 Pot Flat White

their lineup there, including plenty from their strong and sour accomplice facility, Barrelworks. And of course, they bring something special to the party as well.

Collaborating from Afar

Each year, Firestone Walker partners up with a brewer, or brewers, to produce a special collaboration beer just for the festival. Normally for a collaboration beer, the brewers will design a recipe and then get together at one of the participating breweries to brew the beer together. This year, Firestone Walker tried a different approach to the

collaboration concept. Firestone Walker partnered up with Birrifico Italiano to design a recipe for La Piccola, a dark soured saison brewed with Sichuan peppercorns sourced from Italy. They then took the recipe to their respective breweries and brewed the beer separately at each facility. After the base dark saison was brewed, it was put into French oak with souring microorganisms for 12 months. Sour beers use wild fermentation, which is, well, wild. As the fermentation ran loose with a plethora of microorganisms, the brewers would email one another

about the flavors in their beer, trying to replicate one another’s actions and attempting to rein the separate beers into one set of flavors. The peppercorns were not being added until later in the process, and Barrelworks decided to keep part of their batch pepper-free, producing two separate editions of their version of La Piccola. All three beers were being served at the festival. La Piccola Virtuosa was the Firestone version without peppercorns. It allowed people to taste the low-roasted dark malt character, chewy but effervescent body, and gentle mustiness characteristic

Join us for Bubbles n’ Waffles!

Corks n’ Crowns is hosting another Late Night Friday, June 26th from 6-10pm feat. Sweet n’ Savory Waffles from the Heat Truck and a Pop Up Shop with Jackson and Hyde modern and functional cowhide products designed by a local Santa Barbara couple.

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The 2 Pot Flat White receive a layer of lactose cream ale on top of a strong coffee stout

of the microorganism, Brettanomyces, in the base beer. La Piccola Pepe di Sichuan was the version containing peppercorns and had a peppery, cola-like character that was supported by a decent acidity. The Birrifico Italiano version had a more herbal theme, with the acidity and malt flavors less apparent. Each one was a different beer and it was incredible to see how the same recipe, brewed and fermented in separate facilities, can produce a completely different set of flavors.

food dishes and drinks). It is a doubleshot of espresso topped off with a distinctly dense, velvety layer of micro foam. This is similar to a cappuccino, but the flat white does not receive any hot milk as a cappuccino does, so the finished drink is a glass with two distinct layers: a dark-black espresso portion and an opaque, creamy foam top. For 2 Pot Flat White, the brewers produced a low-carbonated coffee Russian Imperial Stout that they used as the coffee layer. For the top foam portion, they brewed a cream ale with more lactose (milk sugar) than I had ever seen in a beer before. The cream ale was

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poured off of nitrogen to give it a creamy head similar to Guinness. At the booth, the brewer would partly fill your glass with the stout then dollop the cream ale micro-foam on top. The two layers in the small glass were a beautiful sight, as breathtaking as white-peaked mountains in the moonlight of a winter night, and they combined on the palate with the ethereal swish of a snow globe. As you took a sip, the toasty flavors of the coffee stout warmed your palate while the cream ale loftily floated on top and laced a touch of sugar-cookie sweetness. Once again, Garage Project went beyond flavor. The beer blended

aroma, taste, touch, and sight into a libation that permeated thoughts and inspired emotion. The only thing that was missing was a Bohemian trio to play Parisian café music as the espresso flavors danced across one’s palate. On a similar note, Pure Order Brewing Co. will be hosting its Rhythm and Brews concert series this summer. This free series will bring together beer, food, and music in their lovely outdoor garden. The full music lineup is available on www.pureorderbrewing.com. This series is the perfect way to pass the time with a pint as you wait until next year’s Firestone Walker Invitational. 

Weekly Happenings in Santa Barbara:

The Innovators

With so many great beers and talented brewers at the festival, it is pretty hard to decide which ones there were the “best,” but it seems that while there are always many favorites, there is usually one beer that stands out as truly innovative and is the one that everybody is talking about. Don’t get me wrong, every beer there is world-class and as fresh (or purposefully aged) as can be but in these times it takes more than just a new hop, untraditional ingredient, or souring microorganisms to make a beer that forges a new path in the beer world. Last year, the standout beer was Umami Monster from Garage Project in New Zealand. This 9-percent ABV dark ale was brewed with New Zealand Kelp, Japanese katsuobushi (dried fermented bonito flakes), smoked malts, and seawater. The result was a rich, chewy, smoked beer that caused one’s tongue to salivate profusely. Smoked beers always have a bit of umami (savory) flavor in them, though this beer had an unprecedented amount of umami in it and the sensory effect of salivation (a palate response to umami) created a “feeling” to drinking the beer that went beyond the flavors in the glass. That is innovation. Once again, Garage Project was the talk of the festival this year. The 2 Pot Flat White was easily the most creative beer at the festival. The flat white is a coffee drink that was invented a few decades back in Australia or New Zealand (the exact origin is debated, which is typical for the history of most

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theFortnight JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

JUNE 13 - 27

by Jeff Wing

Tell us all about your art opening, performance, dance party, book signing, sale of something we can’t live without, or event of any other kind by emailing fortnight@santabarbarasentinel.com. If our readers can go to it, look at it, eat it, or buy it, we want to know about it and will consider it for inclusion here. Special consideration will be given to interesting, exploratory, unfamiliar, and unusual items. We give calendar preference to those who take the time to submit a picture along with their listing.

Stage-Weary Cetaceans Brace for Another Blowhole Summer

A

pril showers bring May flowers (as the cruel old saying goes), and then June runs in like a Chamber of Commerce lackey to throw sunshine around and goad our annoyed local dolphins into shameless leaping and grinning for the visitors. Is anyone else unnerved by the frozen grins of our showbiz-jaded dolphins!? “Aww, they’re smiling!” You call that a smile? A Travis Bickle smile, maybe. Oh, man. Now it starts. June! The damnable dolphin-adoring kids!... “Mom! MOM! LOOK! DOLPHINS! DOLPHINS!” Shaddup, kid! And now this Fortnight’s highly randomized and utterly unscientific selection of doings:

We The Folk

T

hese fresh-faced kids from UCLA feature blazing local David Childs on accordion, and they have been doing some nifty conquering. Recently featured on NPR’s AltLatino show, they’ve been playing the clubs in L.A. and are embarking on their second tour of the Golden State. As they describe themselves, their “… sound palate invokes Mexican nightclubs, Irish coasts, Balkan caravans, and Israeli rooftops, resulting in a kaleidoscope of folky energy powered by a vibrant Latin drive.” So, yeah. It takes some musicianship and melodic alchemy to make a multiple personality disorder like that work, but these guys are real and their music is lovely and kinetic. We the Folk are singer-­songwriter and guitarist David Villafaña, violinist – composer Gabriel Wheaton, accordionist David Childs, and upright bass player Sean O’Hara. Check out there Y-Tubes on the innertubes and stop by SOhO for your dose of Irish Coastal Klezmer. There. Secret’s out! Monday, June 15, 8 pm – SoHo, 1221 State St., Santa Barbara

All-Star Comedy Night

Okay, lemme get this straight; so a roomful of young class clowns is being brought together at the Bronfman Family Jewish Community Center, to have their shenanigans validated and even burnished by an actual instructor in the comedic arts (no, not pre-law or pre-medicine), such that these kids’ respective family dinner hours will forevermore become little more than sounding boards for standup shtick. Do we really want to encourage this? Uh, YES? Tickets are $10, are you kidding? Headliner/comedic road warrior Clinton Pickens and mad-funny comic TV actress Jill-Michele Melean will round out the evening and try to squelch the heckling from the kidcomics planted strategically throughout the audience. Thursday, June 18, 6 - 7:30 pm – Bronfman Family JCC, 524 Chapala Street

The Agreeables

Is there any air-guitar Jimmy Page (to name a talented youngster the junior high kids are into these days) who, while gyrating in front of the mirror in the midst of a blazing guitar solo, fretboard conveniently adrift as his arms swing wildly around a ghost-Gibson, doesn’t dream of being in a band with a bitchin’ name? A name that conjures the whole of the barricade-storming Rock Revolution in a handful of blood-sparking, incendiary syllables? Meet the Agreeables. Their name won’t melt your face off, but their audio will melt your defenses. With a sound as embraceable as their nom de tune, this jangle-pop outfit puts melody back in the driver’s seat and calls forth a genre happily populated by The LAs, Teenage Fanclub, Let’s Active, a little bit of The Sundays – music to sip a Guinness by as the world takes another lovely, unhurried turn. The stars will be wheeling with meaning on this, the second starriest night of the solar year, and what better spot than Dargan’s to take in the warming moments; this sovereign little fourwalled Éire in the middle of our Cali dream. Here comes a lovely evening. Saturday, June 20, 10 pm - 12:30 am – Dargan’s, 18 E. Ortega

The Bizarre History of Clipperton Island

As you’ve likely guessed, Clipperton Island is a homely, wind-tormented, barren atoll 850 miles south of Baja over which nations have tussled. This rock has seen some insane action, and globe-hopping optical physicist Steven Trainoff is just the guy to tell this macabre tale. Clipperton Island (I mean, not even an island, an ATOLL for gosh sake!) has hosted pirates, buried treasure, shipwrecks, betrayal, stranded and forgotten colonists, mental illness (these last five categories organically feed into each other, one must suppose) commercial

it as “tapping on my forehead, hanging from my mirror… ” and so on. It’s… one of the most amazing passages in American popular song. It isn’t a bridge, exactly. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve listened to it several thousand times since I first heard it in the 70s and it still slows my blood. Once, in a churlish mood while he and Artie were on the outs, Paul Simon said something to the effect of “Artie Garfunkel was a pal of mine in grade school who just happened to have a voice like an angel.” Bouncing back from laryngeal paralysis, Artie sings and talks and takes questions on this tour. Picture him and Paul in their coats and ties during the coffee house revolution. Stupendous. Saturday, June 20, 8 pm – Lobero Theater, 33 E. Canon Perdido

The Figure in Classical Antiquity

Saturday

June 13, 6-9 pm ■ Erin Hanson’s “Bioengineer Kidnapped by Giant Right Brain” at the Carr Winery, 414 Salsipuedes Street exploitation, and a top-secret WWII military base. Whew! And the place is surrounded by strange and gorgeous marine life to beat the band. On the night of June 18, come have a seat in your hometown’s cozy, harbor-side Maritime Museum and soak up the unlikely tale of this historically overtrammeled rock, rooted to its busy little coordinate in the vastness of the blue, misnamed Pacific. Thursday, June 18, 7 pm – Santa Barbara Maritime Museum, 113 Harbor Way

Art Garfunkel Sings Like a Freaking Angel

On the Bookends album, the Simon & Garfunkel song “Overs” (a sort of self-mocking, sung novella about a couple in an apartment falling out of love – an uncut gem, vintage young Simon!), Paul’s reedy, conversational voice walks us through the verses matter-of-factly, the nonchalant melody and singing really leading the listener by the hand through the story. Then Simon sings “… there’s no laughs left, cuz we laughed them all – and we laughed them all in a very short time.” As if to emphasize the endearing homeliness of the story and Simon’s singing, a guitar string is plucked almost to breaking, and as Simon sings “time”, Artie fades in singing “time” and goes on to describe

Readers, we who are trained in the rare and specific appreciation of antiquity, in the fragile, inchoate beauty of idealized Platonic wholeness, believe that one thing is true and evident – the classical peeps really liked statues of naked warriors and stuff. As famed archaeologist/munitions enthusiast Heinrich Schliemann learned when he meticulously dynamited his way down to what he hoped was ancient Troy, even when blown to pieces, the human figure rendered in marble is a wondrous thing. On June 25, a small group of first-come-first served art appreciators will gather round the beautiful Greco-Roman statuary of the SB Museum of Art and will, as the museum copy itself proclaims without blushing, be encouraged to “capture the contour lines of the classically rendered human form after guided viewing of select Greco-Roman sculptures in the museum’s antiquities collection. Practice drawing light and shadow on musculature and drapery through the use of dark and light values.” Come to the Santa Barbara History Museum by 5:15 pm, when sign-ups begin. All skill levels are welcome, but note that the program is open to 10 participants only (age 16 and above) on a first-come, firstserved basis. When in Rome, ya know? Saturday, June 25, 5:30 - 6:30 pm – SBMA, 1130 State Street

Goleta Orchestra to Rock Your World

How many times have you seen something like this on the telly at 2 in the morning? The eccentric inhabitants of a rustic Welsh mining town come together to form a volunteer orchestra whose prime mission will be the raising of some obscure British tax


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Pacifica Graduate Institute is an innovative, employeeowned graduate school

Monday

with two campuses

June 15, 8 pm ■ We the Folk Strike the Publicity Pose with Panache at SoHo, 1221 State Street

near Santa Barbara that offers accredited masters and doctoral

monies to ceremonially hand back to the government, thus saving the whole village (somehow) from foreclosure. And with their pure hearts and unfiltered pastoral spirit (and at least one badly overdubbed piece of music, which they are shown to play impeccably at the critical moment), they silence the cruel laughter of the highfalutin Londoners who have come over to shut the entire village down. “Pam, ni allaf chwarae’r soddgrwth!” the funny flat-nosed little man from the butcher shop exclaims, though by the second reel he is chwarae the soddgrwth like he was born to it. Well, the Goleta Valley Community Orchestra, under the spirited direction of Laurel Fryer, is fueled by the geist of all those films; the hard-working volunteer orchestra that prevails by purity of desire and a love of art itself, and of playing music! These musicians are not velveteen-draped professional cellists and such; they are a group of Goletans who play their instruments for the sheer joy of it and work their asses off to present fully orchestrated sonic candy for anyone lucky enough to be in on the treasure. They provided me their mission statement, and here it is: “Our mission is to enlighten the Santa Barbara and Goleta community to the richness and beauty of classical music. By providing quality concerts with skilled musicians, we intend to give local families, retirees, and children the opportunity to experience classical music in its highest form.” I wouldn’t want to follow that with anything. Monday, June 8, 7:15 - 8:45 pm – Thornton Hall, 300 N. Turnpike Till next time, fruit bats. And to that one guy who is still reading, I thank you. For your patience, you shall receive one stick of old-school Juicy Fruit chewing gum, the one in flattened stick form, per our arrangement. No, it tastes nothing like fruit, of course, and to further wreck the illusion it is grey and covered with little Ws. Yes, those are Ws. Are so!  





programs in psychology, the humanities, and mythological studies.

J U N E 1 3 – 2 7 | 2 0 1 5 |

On June 27, You’ll Learn Everything You Need to Know to Begin Graduate Studies in 2015 the pacifica experience Saturday, june 27, 2015

At Pacifica, leading scholars have developed a cuttingedge curriculum designed to engage and expand the creative intelligence of the human imagination.

Join us on campus for a day-long introduction to Pacifica’s masters and doctoral programs. > Attend Typical Faculty Lectures > Tour both Pacifica Campuses, and the Joseph Campbell & Marija Gimbutas Library > Get Details on each Degree Program, Admissions and Financial Aid > Meet Pacifica Faculty, Staff, Students, and Alumni The $35 fee for the program on June 27 includes breakfast, lunch, and a $10 gift certificate for the Pacifica Bookstore.

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JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

SYVSNAPSHOT

by Eva Van Prooyen Keeping a finger on the pulse of the Santa Ynez Valley: what to eat, where to go, who to meet, and what to drink. Pretty much everything and anything situated between the Santa Ynez and San Rafael Mountains that could tickle one’s interest.

with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

La-La-La Live Oak

Y

our intrepid correspondent was just up at Live Oak Camp a couple of weekends ago for a private 48-hour gathering, a sort of cookoutconcert-moviethon-comedy showalcohol infused-DJ dance fest that was a rerun of a wedding reception in the same place a year earlier. The point is, there were only about 80 of us on site, and even though I’ve been attending the Live Oak Music Festival since 1993 not to mention the four Lucidity Festivals (and the Lunacy one), I’d never seen the place so sparsely populated. It’s a gorgeous space, with oak trees, lots of room for camping away from others, and/or solitary walks and contemplation, if that’s your sort of thing. No chance of any of that happening on Father’s Day weekend, of course, when the Live Oak Music Festival returns. But I think the memory of that new view will linger, even as I have to negotiate the crowds and campers June 19-21. Actually it’s not that crowded on that big weekend, and everyone is there for the same reason – to get away and enjoy great music and camaraderie in support in KCBX public radio. On tap this year are a plethora of bands spanning the genre from folk to world music, topped off Sunday night by the return of Steve Earle & The Dukes in the closing set. But also check out country singer-songwriter Suzy Bogguss and the fine modern bluegrass-funk band Hot Buttered Rum, a perennial favorite at SOhO, and Mamajowali (which features longtime Live Oak emcee Joe Craven with Mamadou Sidibe and Walter Strauss) also on Sunday. Friday’s highlights include two sets from fireball soul singer Nikki Hill and an early slot with The Record Company, a blues-rock trio that will knock your socks off (they closed out the blues stage at last month’s annual Simi Valley Cajun & Blues Festival). Our old friend Sean Watkins, of Nickel Creek fame, plays twice on Saturday, as does the eight-piece classically trained ensemble Riyaaz Qawwali, whose members hail from India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Bangladesh and also represent multiple religious and spiritual backgrounds. The main stage closer, Glen David Andrews, leads a brass band from New Orleans with lots

Painting in the Vineyard

of pedigree (his brother is in the Rebirth Brass Band, which was at Live Oak last year) to send audiences out into the night with a second-line two step. Get the full schedule, info on the bands, camping details, and other festival attractions, as well as tickets, online at www.liveoakfest.org, or call 781-3030.

Pictures in a frame: proud painters display their work

Rhodes Scholar

Jesse Rhodes, still one of our fave rave Santa Barbara singer-songwriters since even before his days as the mainstay of the band Stegosaurus, which put out just a single major label album in 1998, has embraced the new reality in the record biz and launched a Kickstarter campaign. The guitarist is three years into the process or writing, recording, and producing his new album by himself, and is seeking funds to complete the project. “I think it’s some of the best music I’ve done yet, and am pretty excited to share it,” Rhodes relayed in a recent email blast. Get details and donate some dollars at www.kickstarter.com/ projects/1549070446/jesse-rhodesnew-album.

Classical Corner

The Music Academy of the West’s (MAW) 68th summer festival gets underway this coming Monday, June 15, and once again the powers-thatbe have upped the ante even higher in terms of big-name guest artists and special events, such as the all-American symphony concert with the New York Philharmonic at the Santa Barbara Bowl on August 3. Pianist-writer-composer Jeremy Denk, who served as music director of the prestigious Ojai Festival last year in advance of his first visit to MAW, returns to town again this summer, while a whole bunch of other classical superstars make their way to Miraflores – as MAW’s picturesque seaside campus is known – before the fest winds up on August 8. But hey, don’t expect me to list all those artists – there are too many, and my computer’s spellcheck has been rather balky lately. Much too much work for a man of leisure. Find out online at www.musicacademy.org (or take the lazy man’s way out and call 969-8787). 





“P

lein air style is our jam,” say Christi Schaeffer and Heidi Riehl, artists and owners of Gypsy Studios, a full-service art studio on wheels. “Our painting sessions are hosted at local vineyards, event centers, living rooms, and backyards,” says Christi, adding, “We paint what we see – whatever the particular day is serving up in the way of light and clouds, blooms and branches, dry or lush. It’s the way we capture the moment. It’s how we stay present and grateful for today.” Christi reports she moved to the Valley Gypsy Studios art gypsies Christi Schaeffer and when she was 16 and has been making Heidi Riehl bring their art studio on wheels to Santa art since she was “old enough to hold a Barbara Wine country vineyards paintbrush.” It was an art class she took at Santa Ynez Valley Union High School that really got her excited. Her art teacher at the time was Connie Rohde – who is now the owner of ZFolio in Los Olivos. Christi says she took studio art classes through Santa Barbara City College and worked in a variety of different fields, including graphic design and marketing. “I am very social, but the traditional work environment felt too isolating and lonely. I really like creating art. On the side, I would try to convince friends to do an art class at night at my house. I kept trying to figure out a way to have art in my world as a business.” She opened Gypsy Studio in January of this year, and Heidi joined her as a business partner in March. Heidi reports she grew up painting seascapes on the coast of Oregon on a dairy farm in Tillamook, “a town even smaller than Santa Ynez.” With a hospitality, event planning, and marketing background, Heidi says, “We want to show people the beauty of the Valley and all that it offers. I love the hospitality aspect of our business. People get to learn a new thing in a beautiful, relaxing environment that is good for the soul.” Plein air vineyard sessions are generally held every Saturday and Sunday. Vineyards scheduled for June and July include Lincourt, Andrew Murray, Sanford, Foley Estates, Lafond, and Hilliard Bruce, and “We are constantly adding events to the calendar,” says Christi. Canvases, brushes, aprons, paints, and step-by-step instruction including color mixing, scenery assessment, how to see shadows and shapes are all provided. Heidi says, “If you’re thinking, ‘I don’t have an artistic bone in my body,’ or ‘but, I don’t know how to paint,’ don’t worry! As an instructor, Christi is fun, energetic and encouraging. She loves to see students light up when they step back and look at what they’ve created. It is a supportive and comfortable experience.” Guests walk away with a “masterpiece” of their own to commemorate the occasion. ...continued p.14


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Los Olivos...Come For The Wine…Stay For The Shopping

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JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

...continued from p.12

“Every winery does it a little differently, which is really fun,” says Heidi, explaining the painting package includes a wine tasting or a glass of wine, and sometimes a tour and wine discounts are included. Each vineyard painting session lasts for two hours and sitting can host a maximum of 30 people. “Someone from the winery comes out and shares about the winery, the history, which vineyard we are painting, the type of grapes, and sometimes the winemaker comes out, too,” says Heidi, noting, “they share the artistry behind winemaking, and we connect it to the artistry happening that day. It is the perfect little pairing of art and wine.” Classes start at $55 per person. In addition to signature Painting in the Vineyard events, Gypsy Studios offers private events and art lessons. A six-week painting class will begin in the middle of July at Sevtap Winery tasting room in Solvang. For more information, visit www.gypsystudiosart.com or call (805) 990-2105.

Eva’s Top Faves:

My personal picks, best bets, hot tips, save the dates, and things not to miss! Different and Delicious Points North

Featuring nine artisan hard ciders including Scrumpy, The Westy, and Black Bart, Bristol Cider House (part of Lone Madrone Winery) in Atascadero hosts “Curry and a Pint” every Thursday from 5:30 to 8 pm. Chicken Tikka Masala to Vegetarian Thai Green Coconut Curry to Pork Madras, chefs Jeffery Scott and Natale Koch from Vineyard Events offer up a different variety of curry every week. Bristol Cider House is located at 3220 El Camino Real in Atascadero. Call (805) 400-5293 or visit www.bristolcider.com for more information.

Soul-er Powered Concert Series Kick-Off

Every Wednesday from 5 to 8 pm beginning June 24, Solvang Summer Concert Series turns up the volume in Solvang Park for free live music in the gazebo. Bring your chairs, blanket, picnic, and favorite bottles to open with friends and family to watch the sunset on a summer night and get your groove on. Burning James and the Funky Flames kicks off the season with an extensive playlist of old school funk, soul, and blues, as well as original tunes. Their soul powered six-piece funk

band features a live horn section, dynamic rhythm section, and entertaining frontman performer. Solvang Park is located at Mission Drive and First Street. For more information, visit www.solvangthirdwednesday.com

Summer Suds and Song Sundays

Enjoy late afternoon Sundays filled with honkytonk fun while basking in the sun at the Maverick Saloon for Concerts on the Deck every Sunday through the summer from 2 to 5pm. Maverick Saloon is also home to Big Tom’s Backyard BBQ and his “world-famous” Tri Tip Sandwich, which are served hot off the oak grill from 11 am to 3 pm. Lively two-steppin’ and cotton-eyed Joe spinnin’ fun every night of the week, Maverick is located at 3687 Sagunto Street in Santa Ynez. For more information, call (805) 688-4785.

Birdie Music for the Kid in Everyone

Dubbed as a “get up on your feet and dance experience for the entire family,” Birdie is a children’s music project created by Teresa Gasca-Burk and Gary Burk, who perform upbeat original fun sing-along songs “with an ocean feel.” One mother of four even says, “The songs all have an infectious hook, and the messages are positive without being sappy.” Catchy melodies, positive lyrics, pleasing harmonies, and fun dancing for all ages. June 28 from 3 to 5 pm at Solvang Theater, 420 Second Street. Tickets available at The Book Loft 1680 Mission Drive, Solvang or call Solvang Festival Theater at 686-1789.

A Day of Wine and Photography

Taste, tour, snap, sip, and shoot with Sanford Winery on Saturday, June 27, 11:30 am to 2:30 pm for a day of wine and photography. Sanford Winery is partnering with Tara Jones of Eat This, Shoot That in an interactive tour and tasting of Sanford’s estate wines while learning everyday photography skills, including angles, lighting, special tricks, and smartphone apps while enjoying an exclusive tasting and tour through the vineyard and winery. Lunch and vineyard views on the winery’s south patio directly following. $85/$75 Wine Club members. Sanford Winery & Vineyards is located at 5010 Santa Rosa Road in Lompoc. For more information, call (805) 735-5900, ext. 7014, or visit www.sanfordwinery.com 

Cebada Wines Tasting Room

Located upstairs at Isabella Gourmet Cebada Wine has redefined Happy Hour! Every Thursday and Friday from 4-6pm we will be highlighting one of our amazing wines; you can purchase our weekly wine during these hours for $9 a glass which includes a special food pairing AND an extra 10% off any bottle purchases!

5 East Figeuroa St, Santa Barbara, California Thursday-Monday 12-6pm






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15


Local

the

JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

Wow. What a bi-week it has been

the

16 |

Tedeschi Trucks Band…

a r a b r a B a t n a S

Obsessed With:

OUR FAVORITE 5-SECOND HAIRDO

T

he buzz: Chelsea Aiello (“CA”) of CA Makes corners the market for an easy tress-fix. Her bun pins in brass and silver (some with leather accents) create a picture-perfect up-do with a “quick hair, don’t care” attitude. Find your perfect size and shape at Whistle Club, camakes.com or Instagram @ ca_makes

Whistle Club | 819 State Street, Suite A+B | 805.965.7782

PANINO soups + salads + sandwiches p a n i n o re s t a u r a n t s. c o m

.. .s in g s m y s in s away

et a lot of talented folks – such as Depeche Mode singer-songwriter Martin Gore (Q&A on page 20), visited some great places – in particular Sly’s for a Sunday-Funday (page 18), made some mistakes (Yikes. Sincere apologies!), learned from them (staying positive!), and stopped to pinch ourselves – The Local is out for all to see. Thank you for all who wrote in with new products, suggestions, and support – encouraging to hear from you! Please keep emails coming: megan@ santabarbarasentinel.com. Presenting the second (ever) edition of the Local with sophomoric experience and excitement. We hope you enjoy round two. @santabarbarasentinel

ONTHESPOT:

THE DECLARATIONS OF INDEPENDENTS

I

t’s 1900. Women couldn’t vote, had a marginalized voice, and in terms of art, were designated to painting still life and portraits of family. But groundbreaker Nell Brooker Mayhew brought French Impressionism, Arts and Crafts, and Art Nouveau through a female perspective to the masses. The works of Nell and other pioneer women will be on display until Sunday, June 28, at Sullivan Goss Gallery. An exhibit not to miss.

Nell Brooker Mayhew | Sullivan Goss | 11 East Anapamu Street

Open for Lunch Daily Los Olivos (805) 688 9304

Santa Barbara (805) 963 3700

Goleta (805) 683 3670

Solvang (805) 688 0608

Montecito (805) 565 0137

Santa Ynez (805) 688 0213




IHeart SB

Local

the

by elizabeth rose

I Heart SB is a social experiment in dating and relationships through stories shared with and experienced by a thirty-something living in the Greater Santa Barbara area. All stories herein are based on actual events. Some names, places, and timelines have been altered to preserve anonymity and, most of all, for your reading enjoyment. Submit stories (maximum 700 words) to letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

CATCH ME A CATCH

J U N E 1 3 – 2 7 | 2 0 1 5 |

Happy Hour at Every day from 3pm to 7pm

Wines by the Glass 4

$ 5.00 per glass of wine for all varietals, Chardonnays, Sauvignon Blanc, Viognier, Riesling, Pinot Grigio, Rosé, Syrah, Pinot Noir, Malbec, Cabernet, Carmenere

Appetizers 4

Get one, get the second half off. The Andersen’s Danish Bakery & Restaurant (805) 962-5085 1106 State Street, Santa Barbara andersenssantabarbara.com

Santa Barbara Matchmaking owner, Lisa Darsonval-Amador (right), with associate and fellow matchmaker, dating coach and image/style consultant, Tami Finseth

I

t’s for research. It was at first, anyway. My friend and I are trading stories of a guy we both had gone out with (seriously) and after a few laughs, she turns the subject to Santa Barbara Matchmaking, a local dating concierge service owned by Lisa Darsonval-Amador. She speaks with enthusiasm about her experience and applauds Lisa and the business. I’m intrigued. As she continues, I decide this is a great subject for I Heart SB, but mid-conversation a light went on in my head: I could interview Lisa for the column, or I could participate in the process first-hand. As a single woman, “just having fun” and as a writer with a deadline, I choose both. I fill out the “Free Membership” questionnaire and within 30 minutes, Lisa calls. Our exchange was polite. She remains calm as I ramble on about my intentions for contacting her (which are unclear even at the moment). I explain that on recent dates, I’ve been asked what I want out of a relationship. “I never know how to answer,” I admit. “I don’t know what I want.” Lisa pauses just long enough to comprehend my vague statement but not long enough to make me feel uncomfortable. “I can tell

a lot by your answer,” she responds. I gulp. (My experience with matchmaking goes as far as a particular show on a particular reality channel, where interview processes resemble a cattle call and quick-fire questions are thrown at you as if you are on trial, leaving many hopefuls in torment.) We make an appointment for an hour consultation the next week. In my mind, she already has me figured out and I’m a little intimidated.

Behind the Matchmaker

I

arrive at the door of Santa Barbara Matchmaking on a damp Tuesday morning in black ankle boots, black jeans, black T-shirt, and a black leather jacket – a Matrix uniform of sorts, readied for action. Lisa greets me with a warm smile. Her petite frame and hazel eyes let me know our meeting will not be as probing as I thought. She guides me to a conference room. The glass window wall facing the lobby is curtained for privacy, acting as a confidential and safe zone. After a few pleasantries, I dive in. Lisa has three kids out of high school, and had been married to their father for 18 years. ...continued p.26

Coast 2 Coast Collection Semi Annual Sports Memorabilia Trunk Show June 12th ~ June 20th La Arcada Courtyard ~ 1114 State Street, Suite 10 Santa Barbara, CA 93101 ~ Phone: 805.845.7888 www.C2Ccollection.com

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JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

Healthy LIBATIONS BEACH BABE JUICE

PRESSED FOR TIME?

C

ool down from the summer sun with the sweet taste of pineapple, hydrating cucumber, and refreshing mint. Not only is Beach Babe refreshing, but it supports healthy digestion and a vibrant immune  system. The Juice Club delivers freshly pressed, organic juice right to your door. Order online at:   www.thejuiceclub.com 805.364.2462

SPECIAL RECIPES FROM TALENTED CHEFS IN SB

QUICK BITES O

wner Jana Gonzalez of Nutbelly has satisfied appetites of Carp residents four years running. Homemade-from-scratch dishes, including vegan and gluten-free cuisine, are brought to life with farmers market veggies. The Fig Balsamic dressing recipe came to Jana the day before she opened for business – lastminute inspiration good enough to eat by itself.

FIG BALSAMIC DRESSING Ingredients:

10-15 Dry Black Mission Figs 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar 1 tsp sugar 1 cup hot water 1 cup olive oil

Directions:

1. Soak figs in hot water from 20 minutes to overnight 2. Purée figs in blender with water. 3. In mixing bowl, whisk purée and oil until blended. 4. Add water for thinner dressing. 5. Add salt and pepper for taste.

Follow Allison on @thejuiceclub

Raising the Bar FAVORITE BARTENDERS AND SERIOUS COCKTAILS

M

eet Arianne Swaffar, an Ojai-raised lady who has been serving Sly’s signature cocktails for more than five years. They like to keep it traditional at Sly’s, making margaritas the way Dallas socialite Margarita Sames first made them in 1948 (a story they hold true). Fresh juices and 100 percent agave tequila creates a crisp, luminous, and powerful drink with a sneaky side that makes any hour a happy hour. Sly’s • 686 Linden Avenue • Carpinteria, 805.684.6666

Nutbelly Pizzeria & Deli • 915 Linden Ave, Carpinteria, CA 93013 • 805.684.3354

SLY’S MARGARITA

2 oz. 100% agave tequila 1 oz. orange liqueur 1 oz. lime juice Ice Shake well with ice and pour over rocks in preferred cocktail glass. Need salt? Rub rim of glass with lime juice and dip in coarse salt. Garnish with lime.

SweetSpot:

THE SPECIALIZING IN ROLEX • CARTIER • TAG HEUER 30 YEARS EXTERIENCE • ALL BRANDS

GOOD STUFF BAKED TREATS

Y

uko Walters, owner and baker, knows the way to our hearts. Her giant, chewy cookies and gluten-free brownies are made from scratch using top-shelf ingredients, meaning her treats basically guide your taste buds to a journey through happy land. Another great part? She delivers! Cookies for everyone! www.eatgoodstuffeveryday.com

Where to buy: Isabella Gourmet Foods | 5 E. Figueroa Street | 805.585.5257 Whistle Club | 819 State Street Suite A+B | 805.965.7782




“Dude Food for Dad” $25 ~ Cooking Demo: sliders, nachos & a beer, with

Local

the

J U N E 1 3 – 2 7 | 2 0 1 5 |

“Feeling Chili?” $20 ~ Chili cooking class with

"Suds & Swine" $60 ~ Beer Dinner with and

All Events Hosted by

and

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JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

5 ThingsYouDidn’tKnowAbout: the

NINA LAFUENTE

Q&A

S

mokin’ hot Nina Lafuente has a personality that is second to none. Her business, Nina Lafuente Waxing, is a hair-removal haven that caters to celebrity and local clientele alike. This rollerblading queen (you read that right) offers a full range of wax services, but “boy-zilians” are off the menu (though she can tell you where to go). I asked, would you ever date a client? After a brief pause she responded, “Yes, I would.” Green light says go – good luck, fellas!

with

MARTIN GORE of

1. I keep a lot of secrets. Because of the intimate nature of what I do, my clients confide in me and when they leave, what we talk about stays in my studio. It’s like a vault in here. 2. I have a sweet and spunky son, Diego, who is 11 years old and a daughter, Ari, who is 24. Ari attended the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School of Business on a full scholarship. She also was honored with the Wharton Alumni Award of Merit. She currently lives in London and works in finance. I’m a proud mama! 3. I don’t like beets. I have tried them at 5-star restaurants, friends houses, in juices, etc. I know they’re really good for you, but I just can’t ever seem to get past the fact that they taste like dirt to me. 4. I had a paper route when I was 10 and 11 years old. I grew up on the Mesa and would ride my bike up and down the hills with one of those huge double-sided packs and deliver papers. It was a lot of fun. 5. I co-host a show on public access with my best friend, Nico Cervantes, called Fun. Sparkle. Drama. It’s pretty hilarious, and we have a lot fun on it.  



S

DEPECHE MODE

anta Barbara resident Martin Gore is a founding member of electronic supergroup Depeche Mode. This multi-talented musician has been creating musical art since the late ‘70s and is noted for his singing, songwriting (“Personal Jesus”, anyone?), guitar, and keyboard skills. On top of that, he’s a producer, remixer, and DJ. His new instrumental album, MG, was just released this spring. As a godfather of electronic sound, you can expect the best.. Martin Gore takes five with the local – speaking in his splendid British accent.



Nina Lafuente Waxing 1207 1/2 De La Vina St. • 805.962.4756 • ninalafuentewaxing.com • @Nina_Lafuente

Take aHike!

PARMA PARK

Martin’s album, MG, on sale now. [Photo credit Travis Shinn]

P

Q. You’re from England, so what made you decide to move to SB? A. At the time, I wanted to move to California but I’ve always hated Los Angeles with a passion, and I go there as little as I possibly can. Somebody suggested Santa Barbara and that was it, there was no turning back. I’ve lived here 16 years now.

arma Park has it all – sweeping views, steep hikes, wide-open spaces, and abundant wildlife. Donated to Santa Barbara in 1973 by the Parma family, the 200-acre land is just far enough to get out of the city without it feeling like a major trek. The diverse trail is a favorite for horse riding, dog walking, jogging, or a casual stroll. With about four miles of trails, considered yourself hiked.



 

What’s your favorite part of performing? We are really spoiled with our audiences. (Depeche Mode) finished a tour last March and we played all over the world – America once and Europe twice. It’s amazing to be on stage and feel that enthusiasm and love. What advice would you give to your younger self? Oh gosh... to stop drinking quite a few years earlier than I did!

Entrance from 192 Stanwood Drive one mile west of Sycamore Canyon Road

That’s great advice. Thank you for your honesty.   Martin Gore at SOhO June 27, 7:30 pm SOhO Restaurant & Music Club 1221 State Street, Suite #205 805-962-7776



 


8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A 

J U N E 1 3 – 2 7 | 2 0 1 5 |

PING PONG!

PONY RIDES!

Photo Booth!

Dj Scott Topper!

Celebrate Summer Solstice JUNE 20, 2015 • NOON til 7 PM

COMPLIMENTARY Summer Classic Orange Freezes AT Rori’s + Bites & Nibbles AT Corazon and Merci to Go Priscilla Woolworth’s Lola Book Signing + ChanCE Trunk Show @ Kendall Conrad Calypso St. Barth George Hudson Grace Intermix James Perse Kendall Conrad Little Alex’s Malia Mills Mate Gallery Merci To Go Montecito Barbers Montecito Natural One Hour Martinizing Pressed Juicery Read n’ PosT Rori’s Artisanal Creamery Space N.K. Apothecary Toy Crazy Vons Hot Springs and Coast Village Road

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JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

MADE SB by Kateri Wozny

Local

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in

San Marcos Farms co-owner Don Cole inspects the bees at La Patera Ranch in Goleta

Kateri is an award-winning journalist with a background in print, online, radio and TV news. A native of Minneapolis, MN, she has written for the Chicago Sun-Times Media Group, Pepperdine University and Acorn Newspapers. She works full time as a public relations manager locally and loves exploring the Santa Barbara fashion scene. Follow her on Twitter @kitkatwozny.

SWEET AS HONEY: SAN MARCOS FARMS

O

ne of my favorite pastimes in Santa Barbara is visiting the local farmers market to buy fresh produce. On a recent Sunday, I tried the Goleta location, where market-goers were attracted like bees to honey, literally, at the San Marcos Farms booth. I was immediately hooked after a honey sample and later met up with coowners Don and Anne Cole to learn more.

Yearly Buzz

G

rowing up, Don’s father was a hobby beekeeper and began to appreciate the buzz around him. In 1983, he opened his own commercial beekeeping business, San Marcos Farms, with his first hives being in the San Roque Canyon. The bees were caught in swarms locally, and the

Wildflower Blossom is the most popular honey flavor among customers

queens were purchased from other honey producers throughout California. “Beekeeping is actually more of a hobby than a profession,” Don explained. “I find bees to be very intriguing, industrious, and mysterious all at the same time.” Currently, the Coles have less than 1,000 hives and at times stronger hives can be divided into two – that’s about 20,000 to 80,000 worker bees per colony, and then

Lawrence Wallin

Buzz in the Garden

add in the hundreds of male drones and that one special queen bee, according to Orkin. com. Woah! Between February to June, depending on the crop and plant, the hives are placed on various farms throughout Santa Barbara County. Once placed, the bees don’t travel far from their homes, averaging about two miles. The extraction process can take anywhere from six weeks to two months, averaging about four to six barrels of honey a day. When the honeybees aren’t being used in the fall, the Coles feed them a pollen substitute. “You’re constantly competing not just with nature but other out-of-state beekeepers looking for winter locations in California,” Don said. “We like to place the hives on organic farms with no pesticides and away from agricultural areas.” Another concern is California’s ongoing drought that is also hurting the bees. “The drought has been a struggle,” Don said. “There haven’t been enough plants for the bees to make honey, especially the sage; we haven’t had a hive up in northern Santa Barbara County for that crop all year long.”

Bee Products

Inside the Urban Bee Garden

B

Wed, 6/24, 4pm - 6pm

Bumble Bee Workshop Sat, 6/27, 9am - 4pm

Honeyed Words Sun, 6/28, 4pm - 6pm

Register Online

Fee:

sbbg.org/classes-events

Inside the Urban Bee Garden Members $10 / Nonmembers $15 Bumble Bee Workshop Members $35 / Nonmembers $50 Honeyed Words FREE with Garden admission

or by phone 805 682-4726 ext. 102

1212 Mission Canyon Road • Santa Barbara, CA 93105 • www.sbbg.org

efore I tell you about the sticky goodness, it’s important to understand that the products are processed and available in two different ways: cold-packed, which tastes thicker and keeps in the nutrients and enzymes and also contains beeswax and propolis (“bee glue” used to seal holes in the hives and has antibacterial properties), and warmed honey, which is thinner-tasting with no coarse particles. All flavors are raw, unfiltered, and strained. Now that you understand Honey 101, the flavors carried are Sage Blossom, Orange Blossom, Alfalfa Blossom and Avocado Blossom, with the Wildflower Blossom being the most popular. I learned through sampling that I am more of a “mild” honey lover, thus the Sage Blossom went into my bag.

For warmed honey, prices range from $3 for a 2-oz. baby bear to $78 for a 12-lb. jug. For cold-packed honey, it’s $8 for a 12-oz. glass jar to $88 for a 12-lb. glass jar. And there’s more... much more. There is also spun honey for $10, which is cold-packed and sits for over a year before being ready to sell. The whipped products have organic flavoring, including chai spice, original, chocolate, strawberry and cinnamon. “Our products have a good reputation, and we have many repeat customers,” Anne said. “Honey also never goes bad; it’s a natural preservative and has many health benefits.” I googled “honey health benefits” and the results showed memory boosting, suppresses coughs, sleep aid, soothes burns, and boosts the immune system, which is why San Marcos Farms sells bee pollen. There are also honey sticks for those who need a quick energy boost and lotion bars, lip balm, a Surf’s Screen natural sun protector made by the Coles’ son, Eli, and candles – all made from beeswax. Works for me! “The candles burn two to five times longer, and the smoke gives off negative ions that keeps the air clean,” said farmers market sales associate Carly Powers. “They are also dripless.”

Worth the Sting

T

he Coles are hoping their kids, Eli and Jesse, will eventually take over the family business. But for now, Don continues his passion for working with the honeybees, despite the numerous sting marks on his hand. Ouch! “We need the bees more (for food pollination) than they need us,” he said. “They are fun to work with.” I felt like Winnie the Pooh while leaving with all of my honey products. Life sure is sweet. San Marcos Farms Honey can be found at Lazy Acres, Lassen’s, Tri-County Produce, Isabella Gourmet Foods, Isla Vista Food Co-op, and Montecito Natural Foods. The products are also sold during the farmers market on Tuesday in Santa Barbara, Wednesday in Solvang, Saturday in Santa Barbara, and Sunday in Goleta.   

For more information, visit: www.sanmarcosfarms.com






Local

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Behind the Vine by Hana-Lee Sedgwick

Hana-Lee Sedgwick is a digital advertising executive by day and wine consultant and blogger by night. Born and raised in Santa Barbara, she fell in love with the world of wine while living in San Francisco after college. Hana-Lee loves to help people learn about and appreciate wine, putting her Sommelier certification to good use. When not trying new wines or traveling, she can be found practicing yoga, cooking, entertaining, and enjoying time with friends and family. For more information and wine tips, visit her blog, Wander & Wine, at wanderandwine.com.

FISCHER’S 2ND ACT PROVES HABITUAL Habit forming: Jeff Fischer’s winery in Los Olivos has it made in the shade

J U N E 1 3 – 2 7 | 2 0 1 5 |

PlantingRoots

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by Frederique Lavoipierre CALIFORNIA NATIVE ROSES

E

dible flowers are fun to use in the kitchen and a delight to the palate. Roses are a natural choice; sprinkle a salad with petals in party colors for a unique and delicious presentation, or dress the side of a plate with whole blossoms. A simple dessert from store-bought ingredients becomes a gourmet treat with the addition of a few wild California native roses. Harvest in the morning, rinse in a bowl of cool water, dry on a clean towel, and store in fridge in a container lined with damp paper towels until ready for use.

La Sumida Nursery | 165 S Patterson Ave | 805.964.9944

petc.petc.petc. O

utside of the wine world, Jeff Fischer is known for his longtime career as a voiceover actor, most famously known for playing his alter-ego TV character in the series American Dad. During the last several years, though, Jeff has turned his passion for wine into a full-blown second career. As the owner and winemaker of Habit Wine Company, based in Los Olivos, Jeff has managed to become quite a talented winemaker, producing sought-after Santa Barbara County white and red wines. Born in St. Louis, Missouri, Jeff has lived in Los Angeles for much of his life working as a successful actor in Hollywood. Although he had long been interested in wine, he started making it himself as an outlet/distraction from the ups and downs of working as an actor in L.A; he now spends half his time there and the remainder in Los Olivos, where he’s been enjoying the slower pace. Well, as slow as one can be when busy with two careers! Early on when he was pursuing his passion of wine, Jeff lived in a motel and apprenticed at different wineries to learn the basics. When he started Habit Wine Co. in 2008, he produced just 50 cases of wine. Today, he has seven in his portfolio and production is around 2,600. Such a big jump in a short amount of time is really a testament to not only his persistence (he’s been known to carry around bottles of wine with him during auditions and drop into restaurants for unscheduled sales visits), but also his dedication to learning and growing as a winemaker. For the last couple of years, Jeff has been making his wines in the old Curtis Winery production space at Andrew Murray Vineyards, working closely with fellow

winemaker and mentor, Ernst Storm. Jeff says that being around knowledgeable winemakers such as Storm and Murray has really helped him fine-tune his winemaking skills. Like many of the winemakers I’ve featured in this column, Jeff makes wine he likes to drink, which just so happen to be lowalcohol, high-acid wines with great balance. They’re not only complex and interesting, but they’re tasty and approachable. It’s no wonder so many great restaurants in SB and L.A. carry his wines (guess those impromptu sales visits paid off)! I was lucky enough to sample quite a few current releases, including the ohso-popular 2014 McGinley Vineyard Sauvignon Blanc ($30). Aged with the sur lie method in stainless-steel tanks, the wine is crisp but with a well-rounded mouthfeel. It’s got expressions of bright citrus and minerality that showcases the terroir of Happy Canyon. Next, I tried the 2013 Chenin Blanc ($30), made from grapes grown on the 35 year old vines of the Jurassic Park Vineyard in the Santa Ynez Valley. Jeff used a mix of stainless steel and neutral French oak to create this aromatic stunner that is crisp and bright with lovely acidity. I also enjoyed the 2013 La Encantada Pinot Noir ($50) from the Sta. Rita Hills AVA. The aromas were rich with rose petals, cherries, and spice, rounded out with an earthy, delicate finish. Jeff is a down-to-earth, cool guy whose enthusiasm for wine certainly transfers into the wines he produces. From Grüner Veltliner to a Bordeaux blend, everything I tasted had finesse and approachability. Be sure to check out Armada Wine & Beer, Bell Street Farm, Bouchon, and SY Kitchen to taste Habit Wine yourself. Cheers!  





BONJOUR!

J

ean-Luc du Ballard is a 6-month-old English Mastiff with a heart of gold. He lives in Ballard and gets lots of affection from his 4-year-old and 2-year-old owners. When he’s not following them around during play time, he loves to nap pretty much anywhere, especially the front porch and on the bed of his best friend, the adorable 2-pound Chihuahua, Oliver. Jean-Luc is expected to grow to 225 pounds and 33 inches at his withers – even more to love on!

To see your pet on Pet of the Week, email photo, names of pet and owners, and something fun about your pet to megan@santabarbarasentinel.com.


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JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

by Christina Enoch

Ramen every Sunday: Kimchi ramen (homemade ramen with Korean twist). Spicy bomb! Outpost (805) 964-1288

IT’S ALL ABOUT THAT BROTH, ’BOUT THAT BROTH, NO TREBLE

D

eep umami-ful broth, loaded with snappy chewy noodles, melt-inyour-mouth pork belly, and tangy pickled garnish. Ramen, first served by Chinese restaurants/street vendors in Japan, is a noodle dish that has comforted souls and stomachs in Asia for a long time. Now, it has finally reached its popularity in America, as the newest trend in the culinary world – and the craze has shown no signs of slowing down. You probably think you need to go to L.A. or S.F. for the best ramen, but I’m surprised by the quality of ramen in our own town. Armed with my Japanese friend Fukiko Miyazaki (she teaches a Japanese cooking/ sushi class: www.studionihon.com), I am on

After years of working full time for an ad agency, Christina found her passion in cooking and food. Now armed with her newfound title, “Culinary School Graduate Food Blogger,” she writes and shares her passion for food, cooking, restaurants, photography and food styling in her popular blog, black dog :: food blog. Christina’s a proud mommy of not one but two shelter dogs and lives here in Santa Barbara with her husband. She’s also an avid Polynesian dancer, beach lover, traveler, swimmer, snowboarder and most of all, a lover of anything edible and yummy. Check out her ramblings here and at www.blackdogfoodblog.com.

Shoyu ramen (soy sauce-based ramen, most popular in Tokyo region): slow-braised pork belly, roasted shitake, bean sprouts, green onions, cilantro, ajitama egg (marinated soft-boiled egg) – all about the broth!

Tonkatsu ramen. (pork bone based, white opaque broth), chashu pork (marinated braised pork belly). Broth was really good and had pickled garnish. Tonkatsu ramen accompanied by pickled red ginger. Creamy and deeply flavorful. Edomasa (805) 687-0210

Tonkatsu ramen. How could this humble street food taste so luxurious? Yume Sushi (805) 965-8873

The Black Sheep (805) 965-1113

Tonkatsu ramen: my go-to ramen spot. Love that fact that it’s not too salty.

Tsukemen ramen (dipping): slowbraised pork belly, choy sum, bean sprouts, bamboo shoots, nori, green onions, cilantro, ajitama egg – noodle is perfectly al dente. The Black Sheep (805) 965-1113

a mission to taste all the ramen Santa Barbara can offer. Making ramen is not an easy task. It takes at least two days to make the broth right; the noodles are made with alkaline water to attain a specific chewiness. Chashu pork (braised pork belly) needs to be cooked in low heat for a long time for the fat to be rendered off, giving it melt-in-your-mouth, gelatin-like texture. That’s why places that sell ramen, only sell ramen: specialty shops have no time to make other food. I appreciate all of our local restaurants for making ramen. A lot of them actually make their own broth and even noodles – impressive. Santa Barbara, never let me down again. Embracing my extra “carb” pounds I gained during my ramen crawl (I was pushing 2-3 times a week toward the end), here is a rundown:

Sushi Teri (805) 963-1250

There are four major types of ramen based on the broth – and yes, it’s all about the broth: tonkotsu (pork with cloudy opaque broth), shio (salt), shoyu (soy sauce), and miso. Also, there are dipping ramen and cold ramen.

Other Places that Serve Ramen

Bacon and Brine (Solvang)*, Les Marchands Wine Bar (Funk Zone), Ahi Sushi (Upper State) * Not regularly, so call for their ramen schedule; reservations are required. For me, ramen is always street food; I want to come in and get it. After my ramen crawl, I earned the nickname Noodlehead. The world just becomes a simpler place with a bowl of ramen. Now start your own ramen crawl, find your favorite. And remember, slurping is completely okay.  






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shop 101

mon - sat 8am - 10pm sun 8am - 9pm

foragerspantrysb.com 805.770.2102 www.facebook.com/ForagersPantrySB

GROCERY

Foragers Pantry makes getting all the good stuff you need, easy. We stock our shelves with the best staples we can find, from local produce to artisan foods foraged right across town.

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Offers Valid June 15- 29th, 2015

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JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

POINT VIEW

...continued from p.17

BY: S  EAN

MALARKEY

We can all agree we live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, and the best part about it is that we all see our town in a different light. Here, we’re highlighting your perspective and unique way of looking at Santa Barbara. Send over a high-resolution photo of your SB view to megan@santabarbarasentinel.com and include a brief description of the image and a little about yourself. Wanderings and observations highly encouraged. What’s your Santa Barbara point-of-view?

Title: “Aim High”

S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L . C O M

During her marriage, her best friend and college roommate Michelle Jacoby started a Washington, D.C. matchmaking service and, as her business grew, would call upon Lisa (then living in Oregon) as a sounding board. A few years later, the roles reversed. Lisa’s marriage came to an end, and she found herself consulting with her friend for dating guidance. Lisa had now played both sides of the field and with this newfound knowledge and experience, interest in matchmaking piqued and her friend encouraged Lisa to start a matchmaking business of her own. She spent a week in D.C. with Michelle, interacted with clients, and thus realized her calling. After training with Michelle and two years of certifications, Lisa became a matchmaker through the Matchmaking Institute, INC. Her titles now include matchmaker, dating coach, image/style consultant and International best-selling contributing author of Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life.  February 2015 marked her fourth year in business.

Put Me in, Coach!

“M

S

ean Malarkey is a husband, father, author, social media guru, and entrepreneur with a Midas touch. His Sk8Swing product (seen here) has professional skateboarder Tony Hawk singing praises and led to a collaboration between the two for a Twitter project. “This shot was taken in our backyard. My daughter Isabel loves her Sk8Swing (@ sk8swing) and her goal is always to hit the branch. You can see her extending out to hit it in the photo.” We want one! NAME: Sean Malarkey CONTACT: seanmalarkey@gmail.com FOLLOW ON TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM: @SeanMalarkey

Sublime Spaces

y clients are serious about finding love in a committed monogamous relationship, and we are a full concierge to provide that service.” Date coaching is a large part of the business. Once a client is cleared (hello, background check!), and a hefty questionnaire has been filled out, date coaching is available. Coaching covers various topics as in what to wear on a date, how to flirt, proper etiquette, and how to gain confidence. It extends to online dating, as well as in reviewing dating profiles to make sure you’re conveying the right message, how to safely navigate dating sites, how to take a great profile picture, you name it. And I was surprised to learn Lisa was a fan of online dating, thinking it is competition of sorts for her business. (It turns out she connected with her partner on Match.com – they married in January 2015.) She encourages a number of clients to try for themselves. The fun part is, of course, finding a match. “I set up the entire date, so no one even knows what the other looks like until they

PURE ORDER’S BEER GARDEN

H

by Zach Rosen

ops are a hardy, perennial vine whose seed cones, called strobiles, are used in beer brewing for their antibacterial and preservative qualities. Hops are also a natural sedative, strong antioxidant, and in their raw form are a powerful phytoestrogen. Its Latin name, Humulus lupulus, roughly means a low-lying baby wolf and refers to its vigorous growth cycle, which can reach up to a foot per day. With perennials, the top plant dies off each winter and the root stock goes dormant until early spring when a new vine emerges from the ground. Farmers will usually cut off the vine during the harvest in August and September, or shortly thereafter. Its aggressive growth means that hops like plenty of sun and cool nights, making the Central Coast a suitable place for growing them. Witness our own local hop yard at Pure Order Brewing Co. The vines are just starting to get some height, and you can grab a pint while playing lawn games, listening to live music, and watching the hops grow in this tranquil beer garden.   

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r e t a i l e r s

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Happily ever after: Successful Santa Barbara Matchmaking clients Ian and Gavenia Bailes on their wedding day. (Photo Credit: Santa Barbara Matchmaking)

meet at the location.” Does she require men to pay for the date? Yes. “And I encourage women to be gracious in return.” She inspires women to be “softer feminine” and not lead with career ambitions (note to self). So what about physical intimacy? “Enjoy the dance! No rush!,” she proclaims. “When the time is right, let your date know you’ve made the choice to wait to sleep with them until you know you both want to enter a committed monogamous relationship first, but do express that you are sexual so at least he knows you are interested,” Lisa coaches. “Show your value, but if you feel it, there’s no problem kissing on a first date.”

Member Perks

Y

ou may explore SB Matchmaking through a Free Membership, Client Membership, or the Social Club. Free membership is available to parties who would like a chance at her “black book” of clients, but not without a personal screening by Lisa to ensure you are a right fit. Client memberships are for serious seekers of love and run $3,500 for three months of service, complete with date coaching and image consulting. June 1 launched the Social Club Membership where each month, three

local businesses give members exclusive offers unavailable to the public. Lisa calls it a “Look good, feel good, and have a great date experience.” You don’t have to be a couple to participate – singles are welcome. “A lot of single people find their match at our hosted events.” Fees are listed per month from $9.95, $19.95, or $39.95. Think of it as a social calendar geared toward unique dating ideas and places to explore.

Single and Ready to Mingle

T

he timer goes off and my hour is up. After I thank Lisa for her time, she guides me through the lobby and out the front door. I stumble for words as I cross the threshold, and before I can muster a sound, she saves me from a stutter. “I’ll keep you in mind,” she says with a smile. With that, I wave goodbye. I walk to my car with dating tips and advice swirling in my brain, a little closer to what I’m searching for.  

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JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

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...continued from p.7

signifying the earlier arrival of the Canadian soldiers by sea and their march into Holland almost exactly a month before the D-Day landings, 71 years ago this month. The Germans had arrived in neutral Holland with a bang five years before, storming the country and signaling their displeasure with the stiff Dutch resistance by leveling Rotterdam in a carpet-bombing raid. About a half-mile from Judie’s childhood home, the desperate Dutch and German soldiers fought savagely at close quarters in the bucolic forest of Ockenburgh, where today there are swings, slides, and climbing structures for toddlers and birdsong. As kids themselves in the middle of a merciless war, my in-laws Koos and Riek van Vliet (Jacobus and Hendrika, 15 and 10 years old, respectively, at war’s end), had looked into an abyss and witnessed first-hand what no one should witness. Koos (pronounced “Cose”), 10 years old when the German army arrived, once remembered aloud to me the scene in Monster’s panicked town square as advance word of the Germans approach rushed through the cobbled streets of Monster like a toxic wind, uniformed teens in a local Youth Brigade running around the town center and yelling in terror at everyone to get their hands

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out of their pockets lest they be holding grenades. “Hands out of pockets, hands out of pockets!” Once the Germans arrived, Koos and other boys his age and older were conscripted into factory work with little food and less sleep, indentured child laborers assembling munitions day and night. One day, Koos walked by a room where several officers were dining. He hadn’t eaten in days. The officers asked if he was hungry and gestured him over, allowed him to eat his fill, laughed, and smoked as he attacked the sumptuous foods spread out on the table. They knew the sudden feast would kill him, and it nearly did. Stories of privation are many from the winter of 1944 in particular, the Hunger Winter (Hongerwinter) when the occupiers responded punitively to a railway strike called in by Holland’s government in exile. In angry response to the strike, Germany ordered a blockade of food shipments in a disaster that unfolded so quickly, the German commander in the area foresaw the scale of the disaster and desperately tried to roll back the orders, but by then the inland waterways, Holland’s famous canal system, had frozen solid and nothing could get through. Tens of thousands starved. In the countryside, families dug up and ate tulip bulbs and trapped birds in the otherwise useless greenhouses. Riek’s mother reached out to share her family’s meager supplies with the starving families on whom she took pity as they trudged past, to the fury of Riek’s dad, who would’ve been gone for days on a bicycle in the countryside seeking bread for the family to eat. “M’n moeder was een goed mens,” Riek says often in the telling, nodding and teary. It once would’ve seemed impossible,

but by the early 1980s a grudging and ragged rapprochement was in the air between the Germans and the Dutch. The conflict 40 years past by then, German families had been coming to Monster’s beaches for some time, but the intermingling of the populations also gave rise to a latent animus among certain of the Dutch in the area. During the war, Dutch bikes had been confiscated in their tens of thousands by the occupiers, the primacy of the bicycle to the Dutch culture and identity an unknown quantity to the Germans, but the nimble mobility of the Dutch on their innumerable bikes, and particularly the Dutch Resistance (Ondergrondse), was an unclear but intolerable threat the Germans had to shut down. Given the broader horrors that had been visited on the Nederlanders, the taking of the bikes remained, in the post-war years, a curious sore point. As the long thaw between the countries incrementally crawled along, the angry lament for the stolen bikes stubbornly took hold as a rallying cry of Dutch national anger at the Germans, wherever they could be spotted, in Holland or at football matches abroad, for instance. It was a hectoring, innocuous, even childish thing to shout, but it contained volumes. “Geef me mijn fiets terug!” – “Give me my bike back!” Then in the early 80s, there began a timorous exchange program between a church choir from the tiny village of Mühleip in Germany, and Koos’s choir in Monster. Someone in Koos’s choir knew someone who knew someone, it seemed an idea whose time had come, and arrangements were made. One year, the German choir would come by bus to Monster and be hosted and housed; the next year, Koos’s choir would be received

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as guests and performers in Mühleip. The informal, seat-of-the-pants arrangement began with trepidation on both sides and crept along in stutter-steps. The enmity ran very deep; again, on both sides. But slowly, the ice cracked. The thaw was glacial, but hesitant friendships grew, to everyone’s mild surprise. The respective choir members began to see each other not as historical ciphers or symbols, but as flesh and blood; or to put it more prosaically, as singers in a couple of small town church choirs. Koos, though, during one visit of the German guest chorale, his personal history momentarily uncontainable, burst out with a comment that may have set the whole enterprise back on its heels: “How about you guys bring back the bike you stole from me!” After some downcast faces and throat clearing, the awkward remark was allowed to drift away. When Koos’s choir next made the trip to Germany to perform and be hosted by their counterparts there, a couple of the German singers pulled him aside with solemn expressions. “Koos, we must tell you something.” He waited. “Ja? Wat is er?” The Germans looked at each other. “Koos, we found your bike.” “… my bike?” His smiling German hosts wheeled out a beautiful 10-speed racing bike amid clapping and laughter. They’d painted it Dutch royal orange. When the German group next visited Monster, Koos met the bus at the edge of town and led his pals, in a singularly grand procession, down the winding streets to the church where they would sing together, Koos on his royal orange steed gesturing as grandly as a parade master. It would be the second momentous rolling into Monster of a loud German mob. This one cheering. The human race has its moments. We’re not stamped by destiny. Happy Liberation Day. (Koosje, je bent altijd in onze gedachte.)  

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CINEMA SCOPE

by James Luksic A longtime writer, editor and film critic, James has worked

nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his eighth state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast, you can find James writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

The Big Picture

A

sneak preview of Jurassic World was slated for the same night this Sentinel went to press, so you’re on your own against Hollywood’s latest assortment of dinosaurs. Aside from Spy’s inspiring cast – Melissa McCarthy, Jude Law, and unspoiled Allison Janney – the sleek comedy-caper serves its diverting purpose but otherwise isn’t worth expounding on. The same could be said for Tomorrowland – buoyed by George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, and enthralling visuals to counteract its sluggish pace and pontificating. For other offerings around the cinematic horn, I’ve cobbled together a succinct checklist:

Blameless Fault

I

n the face of petty complaints by seismologists about San Andreas, I arch my back and proclaim deepvoiced approval; it is possibly the best “disaster” blockbuster flick I’ve ever seen. (Real-life scientists have opined the movie’s quakes are depicted as too strong and its tsunami waves as too high. Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.) All things considered, San Andreas is the finest of its kind since Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure; I suppose Jurassic Park could be added to that mix. Paul Giamatti, for whom it has been established – in light of the simultaneous Love & Mercy – to be a robust year, seems plausible enough as the earnest seismologist: “Nobody listens to us until the ground shakes.” Whereas many CGI-heavy projects gloss over character development, this one makes a point to flesh out its primary players, namely Dwayne Johnson, Alexandra Daddario, and most paramount, Carla Gugino. Behind the ambitious scenes, director Brad Peyton amps it up but also tightens the reins while laying out his mission prudently and profoundly.

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on execution. The revelation, should such a term apply to a child star known for The Sixth Sense, is Haley Joel Osment, saddled with a beard and girth to complement his convincing southern accent. Despite being armed with shallow dialogue stuffed with pork rinds, Osment shines as Billy Bob Thornton’s feverish son. Who knew the close-knit entourage’s meddling outsider would actually be its strongest link?

Good Vibrations

T

he tour de force Love & Mercy revolves around a personal account of Brian Wilson, The Beach Boys singer-songwriter, portrayed by a pair of proficient actors: exceptional Paul Dano in the musician’s early years; John Cusack embodies the modernday man. His love interest (Elizabeth Banks, brightest and blondest of the bunch), squares off with the controversial guardian and psychiatrist (aforementioned Giamatti). Director Bill Pohlad, a billion-heir who knows a thing or two about the lifestyles herein, evinces a delicate eye for instrumental, painstaking details – no matter how editorialized when it comes to Wilson’s personal relationships – and boasts wellassembled materials and set pieces. No matter how often they get activated, Dano’s sincere swings in emotion are a push-button for empathy. In general terms, the movie’s premise about a tormented artist with an abusive father sounds old-hat, but its bountiful layers feel fresh and nuanced.  

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ntourage, a spin-off of the HBO series that ended in 2011, unspools in a breezy and loose manner while trotting out a stable of cool guys and sexy girls. Adrian Grenier resurfaces as the hot-shot actor who wants to direct his next picture, to the chagrin of his affluent agent (Jeremy Piven). The inherent problem here is that any artist – whether on screen or behind the camera – who tries to persuade audiences the filmmaking “process” involves only money and women won’t find smooth sailing, no matter how luxurious his yacht. And for all the handsome faces striving to provide comic cushions, they’re long on determination but short

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JUNE 13 – 27 | 2015

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Plan B

The flask – I am not making this stuff up!

by Briana Westmacott When Briana isn’t lecturing for her writing courses

at UCSB and SBCC, she contributes to The Santa Barbara Skinny, Wake & Wander and Flutter Magazine. Along with her passion for writing and all things Santa Barbara, much of her time is spent multi-tasking through her days as a mother, wife, sister, want-to-be chef and travel junky. Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability... usually.

Go, Daddy Cheers to All the Dads out There

Me and my dad, circa 1975 My husband Paul and his youngest girl, Lila

O

ne year, I got a tennis racket. Another year, a basketball hoop was set up in the driveway. More than once, I got a mitt and bat. For my sweet 16, a set of golf clubs came to the door. All tokens of affection sent to me from my dad – my dad from afar. To set this up, I will start with one word: divorce. I don’t remember living with my biological dad. Sleepovers would happen on the weekends, maybe a couple of times a year. He would drive two hours to be seated in the bleachers for my big games, and he always sent sporting supplies on my birthdays. This year I turned 40, and the equipment evolved when a flask showed up in a package on my porch. I suppose life is now the game I’m playing. My flask package didn’t officially show up on my 40th birthday. It took four extra months to arrive, and I probably shouldn’t even call it a birthday present. I hadn’t talked to my dad in at least three or four months. I was struggling

a bit, trying to keep a balance between work and kids and everything else that life demands at 40. I was feeling thin, like paper being pulled in too many directions at once. Nothing was getting enough of me. I think many mothers feel this way, now and again. I expressed my scrawny state to my husband, Paul, and he suggested lunch. We went to eat midday while the kids were at school. We discussed my emaciated status and tried to figure out what I could let go of to alleviate some of the pulling and stress. One thing that was brought up was this column, “Maybe I should stop writing Plan B,” I threw out there, knowing that I didn’t realistically have many other things that could be put on the chopping block. I couldn’t sever the kids or my job or the grocery shopping or the laundry. As much as I love putting something in print each month, there is the pressure of the deadline that sometimes causes panic. We both agreed that maybe, just

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maybe, it was time to stop writing. That same day, we returned home and found a package on our front door step. (Yes, that same day.) I recognized the handwriting right away – my dad’s. “How strange, I haven’t talked to him in months,” I told Paul as we picked up the large yellow envelope. I tore the sticky flap and pulled out a flask. There it was, a shiny red metal flask tattooed with Plan B, and an answer screaming at me. On a typed sheet of paper were my dad’s words. It wasn’t much more than a paragraph of prose explaining why he had sent it. In summary, he had stumbled upon this Plan B gem and thought I may be in need of some “liquid courage.” Between the lines, I could read his pride. Long ago, my dad was a sports journalist for a newspaper. I know we share a love of putting words in print. The timing of it all was exquisite, and it is what drives me to tell this story. The package arriving on the exact day I considered giving up Plan B; it still has me spinning. Words, thoughts, and blood have more power than we can comprehend. Care packages with flasks can definitely cause you to spin.

I don’t drink hard alcohol, and I have yet to christen the flask. I should probably pour a little chardonnay in there and tip it back for prosperity, but for now it symbolically sits on my desk as a reminder: Don’t give up on anyone or anything. My dad’s Purple Heart put me through college. His years of sending sporting supplies culminated with a love and dedication to hoops that kept me in line and focused throughout my teenage years (and I can still sink a three-pointer from the baseline). His flask kept my words flowing, when I thought they might be drying up. Even though he has always been afar, this Father’s Day I owe him thanks. And, I owe my husband a world of gratitude. I didn’t know the meaning of the word dad until I watched Paul embrace this title with our girls. His arms keep them safe. His words and patience teach them how to be strong, wise, and confident in their steps. My girls are lucky to call him Daddy. Being a father is no easy task. The responsibilities that come along with creating a heart that beats outside of your body are abysmal. And the link that connects a father and his child is undeniable, be it near or from afar.  

Briana’s Best Bets My husband and my dad are sports fanatics. Both of them read the sports section every day and have the TV tuned to ESPN at all hours. So when I thought about a good spot for us to have Father’s Day dinner, there were a lot of things to be considered. I needed a place that would be kid-friendly, provide some good grub, and guarantee to have games on multiple big screens. Eureka! has all this going for them and more. They also have a full bar and happy-hour menu. Win-win for all: eurekarestaurantgroup.com

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8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A 

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the dating game  

SB MATCHMAKER LISA DARSONVAL-AMADOR PROMISES THREE MONTHS OF FULL-SERVICE DATING ADVICE – INCLUDING STYLE AND IMAGE COACHING – IN A CONCERTE...

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