Let Your Life Speak! 2020.2021

Let Your Life Speak!

San Francisco Friends School

Welcome!

This booklet is dedicated to the testimony of COMMUNITY: how do we build, nurture, and sustain the communities we are part of? Whether five or 55 years old, how do we come to feel a sense of belonging and learn to engage with purpose?

How do we create concentric circles of community, within the classrooms of the school, in our school’s neighborhood in the Mission and further afield? As a Quaker school, we know that a true sense of belonging comes from the actions we take as stewards. Through queries and reflection, we hope that our students learn that responsibility goes hand in hand with being a part of a community.

Within these pages we welcome you to listen to the many voices that make up our San Francisco

Friends School community and learn about the philosophy that guides our thoughts and actions.

From the classroom to the Meeting Room, from our Mission neighborhood to neighborhoods throughout the city, our communities are varied, inclusive, and diverse. We hope this booklet will set the stage—and the expectations—for all of us to reflect upon what it means to be a diverse, engaged “community of learners.” As we are keenly aware of the complexities and sensitivities within every community, and hope that our learning embraces these tensions. We strive to listen hard, lean in close, and learn from the dynamic, diverse communities within and beyond the school.

Building, Nurturing, & Sustaining Community “To require that a community agree on everything would violate our concern for diversity. But it has to agree on something. There has to be some core of shared values. Of all the ingredients of community this is possibly the most important. The values may be reflected in written laws and rules, in a shared framework of meaning, in unwritten customs, in a shared vision of what constitutes the common good and the future.”

All of us were drawn to the Friends School by its compelling Quaker values. These values serve as our moral compass, asking us to solve problems peacefully, address injustices, connect meaningfully with one another and “walk cheerfully across the earth, answering that of God in everyone.” The daily lives of our children are built around practices that spring from these values.

Every year we draw on our rich tradition as a Quaker school to explore one of our core educational values. Among the network of Friends schools worldwide, these commitments are called “testimonies.” There are six, often referred to as SPICES - Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality, and Stewardship.

Educators in Friends Schools often put into practice these core values through “queries”—questions designed to grab our attention, drive our actions and even shake us out of moments of com-

– John Gardner, Building Community

placency. Queries are designed to hold us accountable to what we believe is most important.

Our Community queries are: • How am I taking care of myself so I can better help others in my communities?

• How do we nurture and expand the diversity of our communities?

• How am I called to action by my communities, great and small?

Queries serve as a catalyst for reflection and inquiry in various settings throughout the year: in Meeting for Worship, school assemblies, and classroom curricula. Queries are also posted prominently on the walls and in our classes, for such core values are as often “caught” as they are “taught.”

Equity & Inclusion: Gathering a Diversity of Voices Another way in which we live our Quaker values is in gathering a dynamic community and a diversity of voices. We strive for a variety of learners— teachers, students, parents, and guardians—willing to engage with complex ideas. Children and families at Friends come from different cultural groups, a wide spectrum of economic circumstances, and every neighborhood in San Francisco. Being a diverse community is not always easy, but offers us an opportunity—indeed an obligation—to learn from our differences, find common ground, solve problems together, check our assumptions and deepen our sensitivities to the feelings and experiences of others. Quite simply, a diverse community helps us form healthy relationships, challenges and rewards us in an abundance of ways, and helps us grow into our best selves.

is equally important to look at it through the lens of groups with shared experiences. We created student, faculty, parent, and family affinity groups for this very purpose. Affinity groups are both safe and brave spaces which provide support, social outlets, resources, and opportunities for activism around shared aspects of one’s identity.

Creating diverse communities is difficult, challenging, on-going work and should be tackled in a variety of ways. As important as it is to discuss diversity in an open forum as an entire school community, it

• Encourage discussion about issues related to positive identity development.

Affinity groups are designed to: • Provide a safe environment where people who share a certain aspect of their identity can come together to build community, fellowship, and empowerment; • Facilitate opportunities for affirming, nurturing, and celebrating; and

Affinity groups at Friends include:

Student (led by faculty)

Professional Community

Parent / Guardian

PRISM (students of color)

W.A.R.E. (White Anti-Racist Educators)

Asian American families

DARE (Developing Anti-Racism and Equity)

BIPOC faculty/staff

Black Families

Jew Crew

Spanish-Speaking Families

Neurodiversity/Learning Differences

Adoptive Families

GSA (Gender and Sexuality Alliance)

LGBTQ Families

Family Matters (non-traditional family makeups)

Single Parent Families

Young Women Leaders

Young Men Leaders

Since the founding of Friends, our school community has grown from a few dozen to well over 1,000 members. Throughout this remarkable growth, various school committees have borne responsibility for tending to the needs of children and their families. Some of these include: The Equity & Inclusion Steering Committee is a SFFS Board-level committee composed of members from various constituencies of the school community—parents, faculty, administration, and trustees. The group meets monthly and steers a variety of projects and initiatives intended to enhance the school’s broader diversity efforts. The committee strives to both build and sustain a school community that is inclusive, safe, and nurturing for all. To focus specifically on the teaching and learning experiences K–8, we also have an Equity & Inclusion Faculty Committee. This consists of a group of teachers from across the school engaging in ongoing work to evaluate the current strengths and needs of our academic and SEL programs through the lens of diversity, equity, inclusion, and anti-racist work.

The Parents Association houses several committees that do important community-building work, including the Circle of Friends Committee, which supports community members through a transition (a new baby, a move, or an illness in the family) and the Welcoming Committee, which plans activities and various supports as new families join the school, the Mixed-Up Potlucks team, which arranges informal dinners to allow parents to meet across grade levels, as well as other activities and initiatives that serves to build community. One of the more active groups is The Equity & Inclusion Parents Association Committee. This group hosts Parent Affinity Potlucks, monthly discussions called “At The Table” which bring together parents and

school staff to wrestle with various diversity-related issues and challenges, as well as Community Film Nights, which provide a forum for thought-provoking discussions among parents, staff, and community members. The Spanish Speakers Committee hosts a lively potluck dinner twice a year, which is attended by both teachers and parents.

Our Parents Association Service Committee also coordinates a variety of service efforts to engage families in support of efforts and organizations throughout the year. Here are a few examples of their work: • Opening school year backpack and Candy Drives for At The Crossroads to support youth experiencing homelessness • Tote bags for Project Night Night to support youth and families experiencing homelessness • Quaker Food Pantry every Saturday at the SF Friends Meeting The school provides many ways for parents to engage, understanding how work schedules and busy home lives make flexibility critical to parent volunteer efforts. We hope that we can meet the particular needs of a broad array of families through varied opportunities that build a sense of belonging. And we welcome your involvement when and where you can.

“For several years, adoptive families have been meeting a few times a year to socialize, share our unique stories, and get support for the trying moments. While the parents meet in the library, there is a parallel experience for the kids as they get to know each other. It’s an informal way of seeing who else in the school is adopted and strengthening the bond that common experience brings. It’s been so helpful to normalize adoption as a process of family making. In the past, adoption was often discussed in whispers, half-truths, and even downright lies. The kids learn from their own experience that it’s not necessarily how, where or to whom a child is born but instead it’s love that makes a family.”

In addition, The Quaker Life Committee is composed of faculty, administrators, parents, and members from our local SF Quaker Meeting. Its central purpose is to tend to the “Quaker heartbeat” of the school- nurture it, support it, amplify it. The Quaker Life committee activities educate parents about the Quaker values of the school, connect the SF Friends Meeting and SFFS through shared activities, support various events, for example Quaker Values Night, “Let Your Life Speak” Symposium, our regular Meeting for Worship, in addition to supporting school constituencies who wish to learn more about Quaker process and decision-making.

– SFFS Parent

The Professional Growth Committee plans a series of faculty meetings and two professional retreats around a subject of mutual interest (known as our Shared Study) in the hope that we can use shared time to “improve both our individual practice as educators and the overall intellectual and social culture at SFFS.” Over the years we have focused on diversity, collaboration, and examined closely both personal and professional growth practices to help us individually and collectively.

“It’s pretty unique that a community comes together each year to decide on one thing they would like to study and investigate together... [this decision] springs from a process in which everyone on the staff has a voice. It’s even more impressive to me that the community chooses to look at something pretty difficult in the form of a Shared Study on diversity. There’s a big chance that the conversations and experiences related to this study require people to be vulnerable in a way that a Shared Study on math would not. But I’ve definitely found that as a community of faculty and staff we are learning and growing together, and creating the possibility for an even more united and thoughtful learning community.”

– Faculty Co-Clerk, Professional Growth Committee

Engage with Purpose Awareness to Action At San Francisco Friends School, we see service as vital to living our Quaker values and mission. It is a critical part of our social-emotional curriculum, helping students to develop empathy, compassion, and kindness for others. In his book Drive, author Daniel Pink shares that we are motivated by three key elements:

• Purpose – the sense that what we do produces something transcendent or serves something meaningful beyond ourselves Ultimately our goal for this service work is to raise students’ awareness of the world around them, and inspire positive action to live a life of purpose.

• Autonomy – our desire to be self-directed • Mastery – the itch to keep improving at something that’s important to us

Our work is also driven by relationships—with ourselves, with each other, and with those around us. We strive to build relationships that are: • authentic – where trust and openness are at the core • reciprocal – all benefit from and contribute to the relationship • sustainable – an ongoing relationship that will deepen and strengthen over time

By integrating meaningful service with instruction and reflection, service learning enriches the overall learning experience for students, teaches civic responsibility, and strengthens our communities.

All around us, community organizations foster civic participation, support people in need, fight for social justice, and strive for positive change; we believe it is critical that our students are part of these efforts and part of something that is larger than themselves. Whether reading to low-income preschoolers, delivering snack bags to a nearby homeless shelter, or interviewing elderly, immigrant neighbors, our students grow beyond what traditional classrooms can provide. Through this

work, our students deepen their understanding of complex inequities and systems, develop richer sensibilities, and gain understanding of themselves and others.

At San Francisco Friends School, teachers at each grade level work closely with community partners to design service learning experiences where students learn to serve in partnership and with purpose. Here are a few examples of authentic, reciprocal and sustained relationships we have created with local partners.

“The biggest problem growing up today is not actually stress; it’s meaninglessness.”

– Bill Damon, Professor at Stanford University and Director of the Stanford Center on Adolescence

Fourth Grade: Reading Buddies with Mission (Stevenson) Head Start Stevenson Head Start is part of the Mission Neighborhood Centers and is located a few blocks away from our school. It is made up of many native Spanish speaking preschoolers. In an effort to put our students’ Spanish into practice, SFFS fourth graders take weekly visits to the preschool. They bring a book and their Spanish skills to read to their three and four year old buddies. The preschoolers’ eyes light up with the “big” kids come by, and they love getting read to (and correcting some of their big buddies Spanish on occasion).

Reading also supports the culture of literacy they are building, and our SFFS students feel the responsibility for being role models and mentors.

To learn more about the project, here’s an interview with one of the Stenson teachers.

Fifth Grade: Valencia Gardens “By 5th Grade, they’re still very enthusiastic, very spirited, but they’re also starting to make some advanced choices. They’re going deeper and bigger in their thinking.

I really enjoy working with them.”

Located a block away from our school, Valencia Gardens is a low income housing community. Some of the residents there are senior citizens representing the four corners of the globe. As part of a study on Aging, fifth graders interview seniors about what it feels like to be older – problems seeing, hearing, pains, and loss of mobility, along with some of the great things about being a senior.

– Senior Resident at Valencia Gardens

These interviews build into an oral history production with our graders that gets developed in their drama classes at Friends. The project connects children with seniors in meaningful and memorable ways where they are able to celebrate both similarities and differences to build a deeper understanding of each other.

“I’m surprised that the seniors opened up to tell their stories to people they didn’t know instead of keeping them inside. It was fun and hard to interview them. Hearing feedback from the seniors who came to our performance was very special.”

– Fifth Grade Student

Third Grade: International Rescue Committee For their study of immigration, third graders look closely at why people leave their home countries and why people are drawn to new countries.

This study sets the stage for their work with the International Rescue Committee, a group that supports refugees as they transition from “harm to home” and settle in the United States. Through organizing a toiletries drive and a walk-a-thon fundraiser, Friends School students learn about the struggles refugees face and the important work of the IRC.

“In third grade, one of our major units of study is Chinese Immigration. We learn about what “pushes” people to leave their home countries (natural disasters, political corruption, and war for the Chinese immigrants of the 1800’s) or what might “pull” immigrants to a new country (economic opportunities, family, land). Our partnership with the International Rescue Committee has deepened our understanding of these issues, by helping students see that they are not only historic challenges but also currently impacting our global communities. Our ultimate objective is to impel our students to actionto inform others and make an impact.“

– Third Grade Teacher

Eighth Grade: The Gubbio Project Eight Graders and The Gubbio Project: As part of their service study our 8th graders take a close look at homelessness. In addition to learning about the issue, students hear from speakers who are making a difference, as well as work with change makers and organizations right in our neighborhood. One of the orgs we’ll work with is the Gubbio Project.

Located a few blocks away at St. John the Evangelist Church, the Gubbio Project provides a sanc-

tuary for those experiencing homelessness, giving them a place to sleep, rest, get a meal, along with other services. Small teams of students make weekly visits where they help clean, move sleeping mats, and prep lunch for clients. This yearlong effort gives some much needed help to a great local organization, and allows for students to connect and engage with Gubbio and their work throughout the year.

“We have to deal with invisibility,” shared one 8th-Grader. “How would you feel if you were ignored every minute of every day? We as an eighth grade are working towards revealing shared humanity between ourselves and people experiencing homelessness, but hearing from a person living on the street that they feel invisible is so much more heartbreaking than hearing it from a teacher who has never had the experience of experiencing invisibility.”

– 8th Grade Student

Research Supports Service Learning In a New York Times piece entitled, “The Science of Helping Out,” the author shared some simple advice to help guide our thinking and doing during this crisis: “To help yourself, start by helping others.” The article then dives into some fascinating and compelling research and data that defends this thesis. “Much of the scientific research on resilience—which is our ability to bounce back from adversity—has shown that having a sense of purpose, and giving support to others, has a significant impact on our well-being.”

Here are some key points: • Some research has focused on the “helper’s high.” Studies show that volunteering, donating money, or even just thinking about donating money can release feel-good brain chemicals and activate the part of the brain stimulated by the pleasures of food and sex.

• Studies of volunteers show that do-gooders had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol on days they did volunteer work. Studies also show that having a strong sense of purpose protects us from stress in the short term and predicts long-term better health, a lower risk of dying prematurely and even better financial health.

• In a series of studies of 2,274 people, researchers from the University of Pennsylvania and the University of Chicago found that after middle-school students mentored younger students about studying, they ended up spending more time on their own homework.

Overweight people who counseled others on weight loss were more motivated to lose weight themselves. This feeling responsible for other people - a concept called “felt obligation” - can also help us cope with whatever challenges life brings. As it turned out, the people who had higher levels of felt obligation coped better with their own life challenges.

“Small acts are important,” said Dr. Steven Southwick, professor emeritus of psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine. “Part of that might have to do with just getting outside of myself, and finding meaning and purpose in something bigger than myself.”

Institutional Partnerships: Horizons Horizons at San Francisco Friends School is a public/private partnership offering a six week summer program that addresses the achievement and opportunity gaps of high-need children in the Mission neighborhood through their elementary and middle school careers (first through eight grades).

The heart of Horizons is an exemplary academic program that supports a cohort of students in reading, writing, math, and science, paired with swimming lessons, field trips, sports, and enrichment activities in the performing and visual arts.

Children from low-income families are more likely to experience cumulative “summer learning loss”— falling behind on reading and mathematics skills over summer break as a result of limited access to high-quality summer programs. Horizons at SFFS specifically targets students who have the greatest

need to provide them with a high-quality, full day summer option at no cost to their family from Kindergarten through 8th Grade.

Moreover, as the program has grown it has created more volunteer opportunities. And this is where SFFS alums have stepped in. Building on the firm foundation of service that they established while at Friends, our alums have come back in droves to volunteer for Horizons and continue to “let their lives speak” after leaving SFFS. In addition to making a meaningful impact on the lives of our Horizons students, the alums also gain valuable, hands-on experience working with children in a variety of ways both in and out of the classroom. It’s a win-win all around!

To learn more please visit horizonsatsffs.org!

“These kids deserve every opportunity. Sometimes opportunities aren’t always available unless people open up the door. When you set kids up for success, you’re not just changing their lives, you’re changing everyone’s lives who they interact with.”

– Horizons Summer Staff

Other School-Wide Efforts Throughout the school the work of building, nurturing, and sustaining community is ongoing. We host several school events at Friends in partnership with the greater community: • Holiday Craft Fair with several nonprofits hosting tables • Spring Community Day and Book Swap • Community artists showcase in our art gallery • Community Film Night highlighting awareness and action with local filmmakers and community leaders • A Know Your Rights education event to provide DACA and Immigration support • Community Luncheons with Supervisors Ronen and Mandelman hosted nearby at Manny’s Cafe • Creative Coding Fest hosted at Friends for both public and private school students

Community in the Time of COVID-19 In March of 2020 in the wake of the global COVID-19 pandemic, SF Friends, like many schools entered a distance learning mode we called Friends@Home. What followed over the next several months was nothing we ever imagined or prepared for. Remote learning, sheltering in place, disconnected from friends, teachers, neighbors, and family members. Our community has been tested like never before, and it is times like this when our values are more important than ever. As our Head of School Mike Hanas shared, “Our campus may be closed but our values are not.”

While being stuck at home certainly presented many challenges to maintaining and supporting our various communities, we persisted and continued to lift up our values to guide our thinking and acting. Here are a few examples of what we did to help ourselves and others during this extremely difficult period.

Service Learning Examples During Friends@Home: • Sharing With Seniors: Lower School art project where students wrote cards and made art to share with various senior center partners.

• IRC welcome video by SFFS students: Part of third graders social studies unit in partnership with the IRC. • Turning Social Isolation Into Social Impact: Our 8th grade clerks were selected to be a part of a new effort launched by the National Network of Schools in Partnership (NNSP) called the Student Task Force for Community Engagement. The goal of the project was to create a forum where students could share ideas and build capacity to help their community in this time of crisis. For seven weeks, they joined 70 students via Zoom from around the country (grades 8-12) to participate in a program that taught them advocacy and activism skills. Eventually they broke up into small teams based on shared interests for social entrepreneurship, and within the groups they were charged to develop a way to create change in their communities even while in quarantine. Midway through the process our clerks presented their work and facilitated conversations with the entire Middle School during a virtual Zoom assembly. The program culminated on their graduation day when they participated in a “Shark Tank” competition in front of judges to hear their ideas.

“The Poverty of Our Own Experience” We contribute to and benefit from our communities. Communities shape us and we shape them.

Quaker educator Eric Mayer reminds us that recognizing “the poverty of our own experience” can frame our approach to diversity, and the way we engage in service. At Friends, we embrace the truth that the process of building, nurturing and sustaining community is on-going, and requires thoughtful, tender attention, and deliberate, consistent engagement. Whether the E&I community is welcoming new families to affinity potlucks, fourth

graders are reading to their preschool buddies at Mission Head Start, or eighth graders are interviewing community leaders, the thread that binds these experiences together is our philosophy and approach as a Quaker school. We seek to build understanding with humility and engage with others within or beyond our walls with open spirits and minds. As a result, we walk away with a deeper understanding of ourselves, a stronger connection to one another, and a life lived with meaning and purpose.

“Through the civic engagement of service learning, students build and value relationships with others so that an appreciation of the similarities and differences across humanity can be experienced. Students gain an awareness of the world beyond their immediate environment, have exposure to broad societal issues, develop compassion for those struggling under difficult circumstances, cultivate an ability to view problems from a variety of perspectives, and recognize their own capacity to actively make a difference in the world.� – The Friends Council on Education

Let Your Life Speak!