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HOME GROW
Nice Bit of Percy! By Little Lebowski
No matter which walk of life you come from, where you were born, where you grew up or what football team you support... we can all agree on one thing... in this life, there is nothing better than to grow your own! The sense of achievement that rushes over as you take that first toke on a joint of home grown is as intoxicating as the weed itself! Watching your mates smile as you pull out a nice little bag of your latest harvest fills you with pride. There is no better feeling. Even if you only manage to scrape a few grams off some spindly plants grown at the bottom of your wardrobe, so fucking what! You grew that and no one can take that away from you. Unless your mate pulls out a bag of bigger and better percy that is! Then maybe, just maybe, it’s time to step it up a notch and read the Soft Secrets quick guide to the ultimate percy grow....
Location, Location, Location.. The percy grow is, by definition, a small scale affair. Unless your personal use is bordering on Marley territory, then think small and compact; a 1 metre square space will suit 4 decent sized plants, up to 8 if you want to keep them small and flower them quick. Of course if space is at a premium, or if the missus isn’t particularly understanding and relegates you to the cupboard under the stairs, then near enough any little nook or cubby hole can be converted for a bit of percy. Just make sure you have some way to extract the hot, stale air from your grow space.
However, if you are blessed with a choice of locations to house your percy, or if you are lucky enough to have an understanding partner - maybe even a fellow toker, the holy grail! – then choose wisely. For the sake of this guide, let’s assume that fate is on your side and you have a number of options at your disposal. First off, it is preferable to keep your grow concealed from visitors – friendly or otherwise – so, that immediately rules out the communal areas of the home. You are going to have a hard time convincing the mother in law that the rectangular tent in the corner of your living room is your new tanning shower or portable airing cupboard (believe me, I’ve tried). Better to house your percy in the areas that are usually off limits to guests, that leaves us with the following shortlist; the shed (or the garage) – an interesting candidate, with its own set of pros and cons depending on your domestic set up. The shed can be viewed in two ways; it is either a private oasis in which you can escape the everyday stresses of home life, the perfect environment in which a grow tent can be slipped into a corner unnoticed, or, it is a dumping ground; piled ceiling high with boxes of Christmas decorations, the lawn mower, a pram and piles of old paint pots – in which case, it’s a serious clean out job or a non starter. Either way, security levels will vary depending on the area you live in and the proximity of your neighbours. If you can get electricity to it, and you are confident it will not get broken into, then the shed is a good contender.
For a Little More Yield, Try a Hydro System - the greenhouse – only to be attempted if your neighbours are far away or have no sense of smell! An isolated greenhouse provides an opportunity for an outdoor percy grow that can be run alongside an indoor crop. Plant out in early spring to ensure that the frosts have finished and you’ll be harvesting in late September to mid October. The greenhouse grow requires much more patience than the indoor grow and is more susceptible to the elements and pest attacks. Although, if all does fail, at least you haven’t wasted any electricity in the process, As if that will be any consolation! - the bedroom wardrobe – the classic percy hotspot, favoured by students in shared accommodation and city dwellers short on space. Keep the grow lights low powered or you’ll forever be kept awake at night by the drone of your extraction fan. Low chance of detection, makes up for the lack of space (and fan noise). A good option for a small number of plants.
- the spare bedroom – a real contender, particularly if you have more than one. Nice and easy to access on a daily basis, but then this does carry security risks and is open to detection by the stoned house guest who is searching for the toilet. A tent set up in the corner of the room creates an immediate percy grow room and prevents you having to cover walls in reflective sheeting; very handy if the missus isn’t too keen on you becoming self sufficient! - the loft – moving into serious percy territory now. No house guest, however stoned, is going to stumble into the loft, particularly if they have to climb a fucking ladder! Great secure location and plenty of space, plus nice and easy to extract stale air out of. Just watch out for temperature fluctuations spoiling your fun. Lofts will get hot in the summer, so up your extractor fan size by a couple of inches in the warmer months. They will also get cold in the winter, well worth dropping a submersible heater in the nutrient reservoir if you are growing in hydro. Oh, and rumours that a one light, percy loft grow will melt the snow off your roof in the winter are police propaganda! Be clever with your extraction and stop being paranoid! - the basement – the ultimate, the definitive, the perfect percy grow area. Basements usually come with a lockable door which immediately takes care of any detection issues, plus they are easy to access – no tricky ladders to climb up and down like there are in the loft – so you can get in and out on easily on a daily basis. But the best thing about the basement, the icing on the cake, is the environment; nice and cool in the summer and straightforward to heat in the winter – just chuck a portable fan heater in during the winter months, the excess heat will safely disperse through your house, no worries. The basement is tailor made for year round growing. So, with the location sorted it’s time to move on to some of the finer details.
Let There Be Light! The Bedroom Wardrobe, The Classic Percy Location!
The Loft, The Stairway To Heaven!
In most instances your lighting set up will be dictated by the location of your grow; if you’re in a very small space you will be
