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Woman San Diego

Informing, Entertaining, and Featuring the Women of San Diego

March/April 2010

www.sandiegowoman.com

KC Cunningham Equestrian & Entrepreneur

"Transitions" with Carol Lebeau Am I really a Cougar? San Diego Hotspot “Anthology� Spring Into Fashion Beating the Odds against Breast Cancer


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March/April 2010


Shahri Estakhry, Dollar-A-Month Fund

Union Bank and KPBS are honored to recognize the recipients of the Diversity Local Heroes award. Your unwavering dedication and selfless contributions to your community are a continuous source of inspiration to us all. From all of us here at Union Bank, congratulations.

In celebration of Women’s History Month, we salute our local heroes for their passion and positive influence on our future generations.

Š2010 Union Bank, N.A. Visit us at unionbank.com/heroes

March/April 2010

San Diego

Leaders. Role models. But most of all, heroes.

Woman

Irma Cota, North County Health Services

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Dear Readers, Welcome to our March/April issue of San Diego Woman. This issue is chock full of informative and entertaining articles written by some of our favorite writers. We are so excited that Carol Lebeau has joined San Diego Woman with her ongoing column “Transitions.” We have missed seeing her smiling face every night on the news, and now we will have the inside track on what this beloved San Diegan is up to since her retirement from News 10 after 28 years as a news anchor. As one of the few women in the Entitlement Business our cover girl, KC Cunningham, has taken the industry by storm and in her spare time shares a popular San Diego love, competing in local Equestrian events. Rancho Santa Fe is one of our most prized communities and to our surprise a large number of the businesses in town are owned and run by women. Check out our article “Women Lead the Way, In Rancho Santa Fe” and meet some of the top female business owners in town. We hear news everyday about the men and women of our military who are selflessly giving of themselves to protect and serve our country. Tracey Bell is one of those brave women and she was gracious enough to spend some time sharing her experiences while serving in Iraq. She also lets us in on how her time as a woman in the Navy has affected her life. In my travels around San Diego I come across some amazing women who are doing some very unique jobs, and Mariann Asanuma is one of these women. She is one of the only Female LEGO Master Builders in the world. We spoke with her to find out what made a young woman decided to attempt success in what was primarily a male industry. Anthology, is one of the hottest new venues in San Diego hosting some of the top entertainers in the country. Co-Creator and co-owner Marsha Berkson, sat down with one of our favorite writers to tell her about what’s in store for the newest Little Italy landmark and about one of her favorite charities. How do you feel about “Cougars?” the human kind, not the animal. Take a few moments to read this month’s He Said/She Said to find out how men and women differ on this new phenomenon. If you haven’t yet had the opportunity, take some time to visit our brand new website at www.sandiegowoman. com Our new site provides a wealth of information and entertainment and is sure to become your favorite spot on the web to share thoughts comments and ideas with other San Diegan women.

4 Thank you for all of your great emails and letters. At San Diego Woman we value our readers and love hearing from you, so keep those emails coming! If you have ideas for upcoming articles just drop us an email at editor@sandiegowoman.com . Thanks for reading San Diego Woman and making us the premier women’s magazine in town.

Regards,

Judith A. Habert

Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Subscription Information Annual subscriptions available on request Please send name, mailing address and check for $20 payable to San Diego Woman.

San Diego Woman 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 760.738.8700 Disclaimer: Products, services, websites or informational packets mentioned within our pages are in no way an endorsement by San Diego Woman, but are provided to our readers for informational purposes only. Privacy Advisory: Personal information provided by our readers will be used solely for the purposes of providing requested information and will not be shared.

March/April 2010

Cover : KC Cunningham Photograph: by Lisa K. Miller

Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com


Inside

March/April 2010

KC Cunningham…Equestrian & Entrepreneur........................... Page 14 Learn her secrets for success Transitions with Carol Lebeau...................................................... Page 17 Embarking on a new chapter in life. Girl Scouts…It’s more than just cookies..................................... Page 18 The youngest San Diego Women share their lives. The Perfect Diamond..................................................................... Page 21 How to be sure you are getting the best deal. Living her dream, one block at a time.......................................... Page 22 Master LEGO Builder shares her story. Ask An Angel.................................................................................. Page 24 A fit body, a fit mind. Beyond Happily Ever After............................................................ Page 25 Romance Writers of San Diego keep us smiling. The Man-Purse Thing..................................................................... Page 28 Men need a place for stuff too! The Bing Crosby Legacy Continues............................................. Page 29 Meet Liz Dry, The Crosby’s latest addition. Marsha Berkson’s Anthology........................................................ Page 30 Owner of our Hottest new club dishes about her life. Tracey Bell...................................................................................... Page 34 Protecting and Serving our Nation. Spring In San Diego........... .......................................................... Page 36 See the latest styles. Women Lead the Way in Rancho Santa Fe.................................. Page 39 Amazing women run businesses in the Ranch. Worst Date Ever.............................................................................. Page 41 Women share their horror stories.

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The Night You Don’t Remember................................................... Page 42 Don’t let this happen to you! Beating the Odds........................................................................... Page 48 New Screening Method for Breast Cancer. Mark Small...................................................................................... Page 50 Award Winning Jazz Saxophonist.

In every Issue

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Letter from the Editor..................................................................... Page 4 Letters to the Editor....................................................................... Page 8 Women of Distinction.................................................................... Page 9 Senior women take San Diego by Storm. Business Matters............................................................................ Page 12 Tapping into your success mechanism. The Part Time Executive................................................................ Page 13 Smart moves to obtain top-notch personnel. Events Around Town...................................................................... Page 19 Fun things to do in San Diego. Bitchin & Moaning What would they do without a remote?....................................... Page 27 He Said, She Said........................................................................... Page 32 What is a Cougar anyway? Did You Know?............................................................................... Page 33 Learn how to protect yourself from predators. Fabulous Finds............................................................................... Page 43 Share our Staff’s favorite things. Spotlight on Randy Napoleon...................................................... Page 44 Internationally known Jazz guitarist. Cooking With Busalacchi.............................................................. Page 45 Tasty recipes from our favorite restaurants.

March/April 2010


Publisher/Editor-in-Chief editor@sandiegowoman.com

6 Sonali Soni

Creative Director

creativedirector@sandiegowoman.com

Woman San Diego

San Diego

Judith A. Habert

Woman

Behind the Pages

www.sandiegowoman.com 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 760.738.8700

Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com

March/April 2010

Judith A. Habert Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Sonali Soni Creative Director

Robert Tussey Copy Editing

Lisa K. Miller Photographer

Jaime V. Habert Entertainment Editor


Robert Tussey Robert has been a published writer for over thirty years and has been providing editing services for the past twenty-five. As a musician he has written scores of songs. His life has revolved around his music and writing, often melding the two into articles and interviews.

Jennifer has close to a decade of law enforcement experience, having served as a police officer in Sacramento and Carlsbad, California. Jennifer is a certified self defense instructor and owns a self defense company for women called HEAT (Health, Empowerment, Awareness, and Tactical Defense). She also works in non lethal weapons manufacturing for consumers and law enforcement. Jennifer is very active in her community and was recently appointed as a Commissioner on the San Diego Commission on the Status of Women.

Esther Alameddin Esther moved to San Diego 18 years ago with her husband, two teenage daughters and her mother. She is actively involved in several different women's groups as a volunteer, and is currently writing her first book, the memoirs of her mother's life.

Lisa K Miller

Photography by Lisa K Lisa is the owner of Photography by Lisa K, a custom portrait studio located in Rancho Penasquitos, specializing in the highest quality portraiture. As the mother of twins, Lisa shines at capturing moments in pregnancy and early life. She shares her talents with many local charities by volunteering her photographic services.

San Diego

Jennifer Johnson

Jack Doxey formed Doxey & Associates Inc in 1991. It is a San Diego based management and consultant company dedicated to helping companies grow and change. In February of 2004, Jack formed The Doxey & Jensen Group. Prior to owning his own company, Jack was the Training Manager in the Quality Assurance department of the Hewlett Packard Company.

Woman

Jack Doxey

P HOTOGRAPHER

W R I T E R S

Jaime V. Habert Rob Weinberg Rob is president of The MarketBuilding Team, has written two books on marketing, and authors a free marketing advice column called Ask Mr. Marketing. You can subscribe to his free marketing newsletter at www.marketbuilding.com.

Robin Dohrn-Simpson Robin is a freelance writer living in San Diego. She has had her travel articles published online in ezines. When not sitting at her desk she can usually be found exploring the corners of San Diego. Her passions include writing, going on adventures and scrapbooking.

Jaime is a music enthusiast whose favorite genres include jazz vocals, and classical crossover. She has plans to pursue a degree in journalism and media. She is a freelance writer, who takes every opportunity to write about the subject she loves. Jaime resides with her family in Rancho Bernardo, California.

Now find us on: sandiegowoman101.blogspot.com

Laurie Johnson Laurie is an avocado sales director for McDaniel Fruit Company, and a pianist who enjoys writing in her spare time. She is the mother of two wonderful people, and also a grandmother....and interestingly enough, probably have had enough ‘bad dates’ that have kept her a single person with a wealth of great stories and thankfully, great relationships with many people.

Facebook.com/SanDiegoWoman

Maria Connor

Maria is a freelance writer specializing in community news, as well as family, parenting, relationship and women's issues. Her work has been featured in daily and weekly newspapers, print magazines, trade publications, professional newsletters and on the Internet

myspace.com/sandiegowomanmagazine

twitter.com/SanDiegoWoman twitter.com/sdwomanconcerts

March/April 2010


Letters Editor to the

I loved your Kids Eat Free article. With times being so tough, I was able to take my family out for a special treat once I knew where to go to help save money. Please keep up the good work and continue helping San Diegans save money. Rose from El Cajon I couldn’t believe when I saw an article about my favorite singer, Jane Monheit. I thought I was the only one who was crazy for her. I was at the performance at Anthology and I couldn’t stop singing her songs. Thanks for your story on such a great artist. Karen from San Diego Thanks for your story on The San Diego Center for Children. My niece was helped so much by this center and if not for SDCC I am not sure where she would be today. This is a local charity that gets very little attention, so I was thrilled to find an article about this great facility in your magazine. Thanks for caring! Laurie from Poway

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Your magazine did a great job with your article on how not to be a victim. There were some really helpful tips. I made sure that both of my daughters read this important article. Jan from Escondido

One of my favorite sections of your magazine is Fabulous Finds. I am thrilled to learn about the favorite items and services selected by the Staff of your publication. LeighAnn from Encinitas I have a great idea! Why not have sports coverage in your magazine? There are many women in San Diego who love our great teams, the Chargers and the Padres. They are the best. It’s the only topic your magazine is missing. Besides then my husband would have a legitimate reason to read your magazine and wouldn’t have to sneak it when I leave the house. Jena from San Diego Your magazine is such an inspiration. I love reading about all the accomplishment of our local women. It’s about time a magazine highlights female greatness. Thanks for making me proud to be a woman. Elyssa from La Mesa I think it is super that you have both male and female writers working on your magazine. It does give us a chance to hear the male point of view. Anna from San Marcos

What Men Are Saying about San Diego Woman I have to admit it, I am guilty of reading a women’s magazine. My wife picks up your magazine and after reading it cover to cover she leaves it on our coffee table. So I had to find out what really makes women tick. I have to say I have learned a lot and will probably find myself reading upcoming issues. Michael from Del Mar My wife and I read your article on Dr. Pamela Peeke and decided to go out and purchase her book. We have both lost weight and feel better already. Thanks for introducing us to Dr. Peeke. Stephen from Escondido Hurray to Mr Tussey and his firm stance in He Said/She Said. Obviously voicing the male opinion in a women’s magazine can’t be easy. So far I have agreed with everything he has said. Keep writing Mr. Tussey you are speaking for a lot of men out there. Sal from San Diego

May 20, 2010 Call Jessica at 858 569 2148 for Information

Celebrate The San Diego Center For Children Y

Photo from the Center’s archives courtesy of the San Diego Historical Society

March/April 2010

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Woman of Distinction

Honoring Inspirational Seniors

By Esther Alameddin

Tiny, But Mighty

Tiny, But Mighty Born in Russia, and worldtraveled, I have always believed there was nothing my mother, Raya Abadir could not do. At age 16 she was supporting herself and her ailing mother after escaping Russia to come to a new country. At age 25, with no formal college education, she started a school to teach English in Iran. And at age 60, while raising three children as a single mother, she completed her Master’s Degree in Educational Administration. To look at her, you would not consider Raya a giant: She barely reaches four and a half feet in height and is nicknamed “Grandma Tiny” by all who know her. Yet, her accomplishments are huge. How can anyone explain the success she has had in life? “I can’t really take credit for my life and career,” Raya says, “I trusted God to lead me to do whatever needed to be done.” It has always been obvious that my mom touched

many lives wherever she worked. Students whom she had taught in the first or second grades would stay in touch with her through adulthood, and even invite her to their homes when they had families of their own. Raya worked as an elementary school teacher and administrator in New York for 24 years, until she was sent to Russia as a missionary. “I was excited to have the opportunity to return to my country,” Raya recalls. While there, she was able to open schools and train teachers who had never been allowed to talk about God openly in the former Soviet Union. At age 70, Raya returned to the United States, a proud grandmother of two little girls. Although she retired at that time, she has never stopped working. Active in her church and community, Raya seems to attract foreign neighbors and friends. Her teaching instincts have kicked in, and the retired Mrs. Abadir has been voluntarily teaching English classes in her neighborhood for over six years. Then, at the age of 78, Raya underwent open heart surgery. It was a turning point for her and her family. But even spending more than two months in the hospital couldn’t slow down this tiny giant. “I made friends with all the workers,” she jokes. “I think they made me stay there so long because they liked having me around!” But more than that, Raya found another opportunity to volunteer during her stay at Scripps Memorial Hospital. “I help with filing in the Cardiac Treatment Center,” she says. “The nurses there were so wonderful to me when I was recovering from my surgery. I love working with them now.” So, does Raya have any exciting new adventures in her future? “I starred in my granddaughter’s high school video this year,” she says, “that was fun.” Maybe an Emmy is up next for this Grammy?

March/April 2010

San Diego

Woman

As we approached the checkout counter of a craft store recently, my 82 year old mother asked her standard request. “Do you give a Senior Discount?” “No Senior Discount,” the sales lady replied, “but we do offer a Wisdom Discount”. I don’t need to mention that the Wisdom Discount was received with much enthusiasm. And it made me realize that rarely does society have a positive depiction of Senior Citizens. How many of us have laughed about our “senior moments?” And just the mention of the word geriatric conjures up mental images of the feeble and the frail. Despite that, many mature women are powerful role models. These ladies are the inspiration for this segment of "Women of Distinction." Read on to find out how three senior ladies are impacting the people with whom they come in contact.

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Woman of Distinction

Walking With Sunshine My daughter, Mimi, and I first met Pat “Sunshine” De Bar at the base of the Torrey Pines State Reserve. It was Day One of the 2008 Komen Three-Day Walk for Breast Cancer in San Diego and our feet were already aching. We passed a small, unassuming lady wearing a walker’s t-shirt and carrying a woven purse. When we asked how she was doing, her face lit

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up and her enthusiasm tumbled out. “I’m doing great! My name is Sunshine, I’m seventy-four years old and this is my fourth time doing the Three-Day Walk”. Pat was so proud to make it from the Del Mar Fairgrounds to Torrey Pines without getting picked up by one of the vans that “sweep” straggling walkers and take them to the next pit stop. She continued excitedly, punctuating all her sentences with Oh My! “Last year a van picked me up right here because they said I was too slow, but this year there was no one to stop me”. Sunshine raised more than the $2300 required to participate in the Three-Day Walk by appealing to the regular patrons at her local Starbucks. “One man even gave me $50 just to buy a new pair of sneakers,” Sunshine recalls. And

she did not forget the generosity of the other donors either. Throughout the walk she would grab handfuls of candy and snacks that were passed out for the walkers. She would say that she was taking these back for her friends at the coffee shop. Every day, in addition to fundraising for her walk and training six miles, she also helps others less fortunate than she. “I make a dozen lunches every day for little homeless children and take them to a local school too,” she says. This way the children have at least one nutritious meal each day. “This year fundraising went up for the three day walk and participants had to raise $2400,” Sunshine said. Although the higher entry fee seemed daunting at first, Ms. De Bar decided to do it while she is able. Her cheerful attitude is so motivating to others faced with her similar circumstances. This was evident by other walkers as they passed her en route to the closing ceremonies. Calls of “great job, Sunshine” and “I saw you walking around Oceanside” cheered her along. And in the privacy of the holding area on the last day of the Walk, waiting for the final participant to join us, everyone stood and applauded as her name was called, “Sunshine, Pat De Bar!” This year, Sunshine can be found walking all over Oceanside where she lives with her son. As Sunshine always says, “May your days be filled with Blue Skies and Green Lights!”

March/April 2010


Woman of Distinction

Making Notes tions, Mrs. Watson continues to encourage them, maintaining high standards. “I’ve learned that the struggles are not about me,” she comments. “Children are influenced by so much in our society, and I simply provide an outlet for them to keep them on the right track.” Mrs. Watson does more than teach students, though. Aside from enjoying golf, bridge, and reading, each year she evaluates students from all over the county who participate in the Certificate of Merit for the Music Teachers Association of

San Diego

Woman

Jackie Watson loves the youth she immerses herself in. “Society is for young people,” she says, worried that most people in her generation are lost in this new world of technology. Growing up during the depression, to french immigrant parents, Jackie remembers being cold all the time. “We had to wait in long lines for food, but I would never frown on all the hardships we endured. Through them we found our inner happiness and learned to love ourselves and appreciate each other.” Jackie was introduced to music at the very young age of four. It wasn’t until many years had passed that Mrs. Watson recognized the opportunity which was provided to her by her Julliard-educated teacher. By the time she did realize it, she knew that music was her first love. Much later, when her two daughters had left the comforts of their “nest”, Jackie found herself alone with many hours to spare. Knowing she wanted to do something that would not only fill her time, but also fill a need for others, Mrs. Watson turned back to music. She quickly enrolled in classes to update her knowledge. Jackie was intrigued by all the wonderful changes she saw in the field of music education, but was tentative at first. “I didn’t think I had the patience for teaching,” she now laughs. At seventy-eight, Jackie continues to study and learn while she teaches. She loves to watch small children grow into fine musicians. “Their lessons develop their confidence and become an impetus for better things,” she notes. As she speaks of her students, pride and love pours from her voice. Certainly, Jackie seems to be loved by her students as well: Her home is filled with gifts, photos, and mementos made for her by the adoring students she has taught over the years. Regardless of the paths they have chosen, these young people regard their time with her as the foundation that helped them to develop their strengths and skills. “We have fun, although I’m not an easy teacher,” she admits. “I’m very strict, but I love my students and I know that what I offer is the best thing for them.” Jackie has learned to be patient, laying their progress in the students’ hands. Occasionally, in her Chula Vista neighborhood, she has a student who is troubled. Rather than lowering her expecta-

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California. In this rigorous examination, children are judged on sight reading, music theory and performance in levels ranging from beginner, all the way through highly advanced. Over the years, Jackie has held every position possible for the Association, providing a positive role model, not only for the students, but also for many of the other teachers who volunteer their time as judges. “I’m proud to call Jackie my friend,” says Anna, a younger piano teacher who feels she has been influenced by Mrs. Watson. “She does so much for the Association and for her students, yet she is so humble about all she has to offer.” Jackie knows that she offers an important opportunity for children. Even through the recession, she has more students calling her than before. “Music assuages the soul and mitigates so many problems,” she says. “It is the nucleus of these wonderful children that will keep our world together.”

March/April 2010


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Tapping into Your Success Mechanism "Right Thinking Produces the Right Results"

I was recently going through my bookshelf to find a good book to read. I spotted one of my all time favorites entitled Psycho Cybernetics. The word Psycho means ‘of the mind’ and Cybernetics deals with the study of automatic control systems. It was published over 40 years ago so you might not find it at Barnes and Noble, but the information and concepts contained in the book are still very relevant. The author, Dr Maxwell Maltz, found that our minds work very much like a machine. Every person is a goal seeking creature and we go about reaching our goals much like a machine. Now I am not trying to say that we are machines. However, we do have a built in servo mechanism that once you set your mind on certain goals and truly believe in them, the mind will work relentlessly on making your goals a reality. For example, if you ardently choose to be healthy, your inner servo mechanism will go about making you healthy. Now it goes without saying that you have to aid all of this thinking by eating correctly and exercising on a regular basis.

By Jack Doxey

mentally and physically. I might add that your friends and family will sense this healthy, positive thinking on your part and will respond in kind. It has been said that every human being has six basic needs: 1. A need for Love 2. A need for Security 3. A need for Creative Expression 4. A need for Recognition 5. A need for New Experiences 6. A need for Self Esteem I would add another one; the need for healthy positive thinking and an eager desire to look to the future with positive expectations. The past year 2009 has not been kind to the country and many of it citizens have hit some very tough times. Under these circumstances it becomes easy to slide into negative attitudes. We can not afford to do this. Now, more than ever, we have to remain diligent about our thoughts and when we see them straying into a negative direction make a concerted effort to swing back to the positive things in your life. May I suggest that you sit down and write about all the positive things in your life including the support you receive from family and fiends? You will discover that you are truly blessed. The experience will keep you calibrated in the direction of success.

Dr Maltz, in essence, was saying that” what we think in our mind, we will produce in kind.” If you think healthy thoughts about yourself, your friends, family and co workers you will in all probability find yourself in the “pink of good health.”, both March/April 2010


The Part-Time Executive: Filling the Management Void

By Rob Weinberg

This all suggests hiring the part-time executive is a winning scenario for employer and employee alike. • The employer gets an extremely high level of experience, paying only for the time the business needs –particularly important during cash crunches • The employee gets flexibility, diversion, and opportunity not typically afforded to full-time staff members • Customers and staff get commitment, continuity, and experience needed to help meet their respective objectives. Staff and senior management also benefit by learning from workers with a wealth of professional knowledge who are “out there” learning from other professionals – even when they’re not working for the company. This helps everyone at your company grow and function at a higher level for as long – or as short – as the relationship may last. The part-time executive delivers what no other employee can provide for your business: • The highest level of talent, constantly sharpening his skills without cost to you • An ability to work smart within your company’s budget • Precisely the amount of labor needed, with no significant learning curve • Training for both staff and senior management on an ongoing basis Part-time workers are still fairly new at this high level of employment. Most people in today’s workforce see themselves as either full-time employees or consultants, rather than in the gray area inhabited by the part-time employee. Research, patience, and flexibility will be the key components to matching your company’s needs with the super-qualified person who can accomplish your company’s work in just a few days per month. For all these reasons, the part-time executive is an idea whose time has come! Before you write that next “Help Wanted” ad or do without, instead consider bringing in a parttime executive. Like Nancy discovered by implementing the idea, your business will grow much faster than you expected and with considerably lower overhead.

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Nancy recently met with the president of a Fortune 1000 company and came home quite upset. For two hours she heard about great things his company was doing in the marketplace to increase product awareness. He had also carried on at length about the wonderful ways his CFO was taking advantage of an inconsistent economy. By day’s end, Nancy realized how wide the gap has become between big companies that can afford to hire top-notch talent and smaller firms that can’t. She also recognized that having strong talent in marketing, finance and operations positions makes every difference between an incredibly successful company and one just getting by. Resolving to help her small business get access to the type of talent usually employed by top firms, my friend realized it’s possible for small companies to hire high-level executives – assuming you’re willing to hire them on a part-time basis. This means a 20-person firm with $3 million in revenues can afford to hire the former CFO of a major firm, benefiting from the cachet – and the connections – that she brings with her. A $2 million business can hire a Madison Avenue veteran – and all that hard-earned experience – for a fraction of what would normally be charged with a full-time employee. Bringing in part-time executives provides higher caliber employees than most small businesses can usually afford. The part-time executive delivers continuity and expertise that’s difficult to duplicate for twice the price. And unlike most consultants, this professional’s end-date isn’t a foregone conclusion from the day he starts. Bringing skills that specifically suit the business’s needs, and usually with a minimal learning curve, the part-time executive works for a set period each month (usually 2-5 days on-site) and is available for limitless discussions by phone or email. A set monthly retainer is negotiated in advance. Should you decide hiring a part-time executive is for you, there are several resources for locating the skill set you need, including: • Chamber of Commerce websites • Craig’s List • Monster.com • Guru.com Of course, don’t forget to ask members of your professional network to locate the right guy for your company’s needs. It would be fair at this point to ask why someone would wish to be a part-time executive, with the time commitment and need for flexibility that it implies. There are several excellent reasons: • Flexibility. An individual working five days each month has 15 business days to pursue other projects, network, and otherwise stay intellectually stimulated. • Money. Several part-time jobs can provide as much money as one full-time position. • Boredom. There may not be enough work in one company to occupy a full-time marketing VP or CFO – especially if the individual is working smart. Odds are excellent the level of executive you’ll be looking to hire knows how to work smart.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Rob Weinberg is a Madison Avenue veteran and principal of The MarketBuilding Team – a strategic marketing firm based in Rancho Bernardo, CA. You can get his advice through a free newsletter, a weekly marketing advice column, or by hiring him as a part-time marketing executive. You’ll find him online at www. marketbuilding.com.

March/April 2010


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KC Cunningham...Equestrian and Entrepreneur A Driving Force By Judith A. Habert The poise, beauty and grace she demonstrates sitting high geles County about a mile east of the 5, thinking that it might upon the saddle of her horse, Harley, is a true indication of be worth something some day.” In 2000, her father began how Karen Cunningham carries herself in her everyday life to put some concrete effort into developing the property. He and career. She is a first class equestrian and a well reacquired additional surrounding parcels and worked with spected woman in the land development and entitlement inseveral engineers to determine the most feasible use for the dustry. All of this at the tender age of 30. We caught up with land. KC describes her entry into the industry as accidental. KC (the nickname she “I was a recent graduhas gone by since childate, so for the lack of hood), while competing in anything better to do one of her recent equesat the time, I shadtrian events at the Del owed him. I took it Mar Horse Park. KC has upon myself to crebeen riding since childate a filing structure hood and it is one of her for the development true loves. As KC jokes, project. In the process “I basically got into the of creating this filing sport because my mother system, I reviewed was an avid equestrian every piece of paper in and did not understand every file. I became a any concept of her child walking database for not riding. I had a pony the project’s history at the age of three, and and current status. I I learned to ride a horse began having just a before I learned to ride little more information a bike.” From watchon this project than ing her, it is obviously a anyone else.” Before passion in her life and a long, the CFO of the needed retreat from her project approached full time job as President KC and asked if she of Cunningham Develfelt she could run the opment. For the past 9 project. With deteryears, KC has been the mination, and a bit of go-to person for land fear, she accepted developers in Southern the challenge. It was California, when they at this point that KC want to cure entitlement became aware of how issues or are simply in complex the process search of a manager who was. can keep their projects Not only was she new running smoothly, within to the industry, but budget, and on time. she was 20-30 years Karen is a graduate of younger than everyUSC with a Bachelor of one else involved in Science degree from the the project, and the Lloyd Greif Center for Entrepreneurial Studies in the Marshall only female; a demographic relatively unheard of in land School of Business. KC credits her time at USC with her development. She credits her success to the help of many ability to multi task and maintain a calm head while surround- mentors along the way. KC adds, “I have been very lucky ed by chaos, which is so often the atmosphere in her chosen in having consultants who mentored me and let me sit in on line of work. other projects in which they were involved. At such a young When KC graduated from college, she wasn’t sure which age, it was very believable that I didn’t have all the answers, path she wanted to take. It was her father, Bob Cunningso most were understanding of me asking questions and willham, who unknowingly would determine her career path. “I ing to let me pick their brains. I started in this business as a just fell into this type of work because of my Dad. Ten years sponge and I guess I still am.” earlier he picked up about 420+ acres of raw land in Los AnMarch/April 2010


KC Cunningham

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I asked KC what it was she liked about her job and without on the circuit for the past two years.” KC’s mom couldn’t be missing a beat she admitted, “I love the freedom and flexibilhappier and when we caught up with KC during her competiity of working for myself. I enjoy entitlement processing a lot. tion at the Del Mar Horse Park, proud mom, Rosemary, was Maybe I have a sick sense of humor, but I enjoy the fact that there to cheer her on. Being ignorant to “Horse terminology” even though the entitlement process is lineal you still have a I asked KC to explain the Hunter and Jumper competitions. ton of different things going on at the same time. There are “To sum it up, in Hunter competition you are called upon to so many different critical paths, that you have many balls in demonstrate that which would be encountered in the field the air at the same time. There will be days when you work on a hunt, while exhibiting style and technique. The Jumper 15 hours straight and other days when there is nothing to do competitions consist of an obstacle track of sorts, where you because you are waiting for everyone else to do their job. encounter brightly colored fences and the object is to jump Often it is boredom interspersed with chaos.” these fences in the fastest possible time while leaving the The fact that fences there is often standing.” down time, gives This is a KC the opportusomewhat nity to pursue her dangerlove of horses. ous sport, Although KC but luckily started her riding KC has career early, she managed didn’t compete to escape much as a junior. any major She rode every injury day and did a other than lot of schooling having a of horses for horse fall different trainers. and land When she went on her away to college leg once, she quit riding putting her for a few years. in a cast This was partially for awhile. an experiment to Aside see if she could from a live without her myriad of horses. During jammed all of high school, fingers, KC would spend every available minute of her time riding, sore body parts, and a spine that looks like she has been in often late into the night. In college, she took a break from a car crash she has escaped the broken bones that are often the sport that she loves, due primarily to the fact that she tell tale for athletes in this arena. was extremely busy. She was living with her best friend, car- For KC, getting out on course with her horses is her way to rying a course load of 21 credits, part of a business fraterrelax and put the pressures of her job on hold for a short nity and an avid USC football fan. After graduating college, time. KC is in a business that is not an easy one. As she moving back to San Diego, and working with her father, KC shared with me, “I only know about a week in advance what felt as if there was still a giant hole in her life. “There was my schedule will be like and you can never tell when a crisis no longer the college lifestyle. There were no longer the big is going to occur. The only consistent thing is that I am USC parties, football games, or classes to keep me busy, consistently running behind schedule!” she says jokingly. As and I didn’t entirely know what to do with my life anymore. many in the industry know, development projects rarely if My mom essentially strong armed me into getting back into ever run on schedule. Unforeseen curveballs are thrown at the sport because she didn’t see me happy then.” KC took the development team on a daily basis. Mitigating the delays Mom’s advice and went back to her beloved horses. “About associated with these curveballs is one of a Project Man2 years ago I started working with Carleton Brooks, a promiager’s most challenging tasks. nent hunter jumper trainer based in Southern California. He kicked my butt into gear and I have been actively competing March/April 2010

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There is a common public misconception that developers of land can, and do build whatever they want, wherever they want, explains KC, but the reality is that “you actually have to get approval to do anything with your land. You have to envision a product that the community and the jurisdiction want to see built. If you want to build something that the

the reputation she has obtained, it is obvious she has been successful in this feat. In addition, KC has recently begun the Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) accreditation process and is currently pursuing Disadvantaged Business Enterprise and Woman Owned Small Business Enterprise designations

jurisdiction doesn’t like, than lots of luck getting it done. It is so political a process that you have to understand what is the right fit.” With so many stakeholders involved in the approval of a major development project, it is challenging to keep everyone happy. KC’s job is not an easy one. She attempts to bring all of the elements of a project together so they can work on one general timeline, all having the same goal - a cost effective and timely completion of the project. With all of these individuals; the planners, architects, engineers, biologists, geotechnical engineers, and conservation specialists; KC has to play the part of a conductor attempting to keep her orchestra in sync to produce the perfect performance. With

for operating as a women owned small business. KC has accomplished much at a young age and has managed to keep her head focused on the things that are of importance. She has a close loving relationship with her family, runs a hectic successful business, rides her horses at every opportunity, and spends time with her fiancé, Joel Tirney. After watching KC maneuver her jumps during her competition, moving in sync with Harley at every turn, it is obvious that whatever comes her way KC Cunningham is destined to be a winner.

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Blog with San Diego Woman! Visit our blog at http://sandiegowoman101.blogspot.com/ to join in on lively discussions and share your thoughts and ideas. Topics change quickly so visit us every day! March/April 2010


"Transitions" After nearly 34 years on the night shift, I couldn’t wait to return to a “normal” schedule. For the first time in 25 years of marriage, Tom and I would be on the same sleep schedule. Oh, the romantic possibilities! But just days into our new routine, I wasn’t so sure. You see, I don’t exactly “take on” the day. I ease into it. Until the coffee kicks in, just call me dopey….drowsy and yes….a little grumpy. Not Tom. My husband wakes up instantly. Alert. Engaged. And worst of all…happy. My chronically happy husband faces the day smiling, whistling…prattling on like a little old lady. After all these years, it still amazes me. So he took it on himself to “help” me better deal with the transition. Early one morning….I slowly opened one eye and there he stood at our bedside, proud as a peacock, with a steaming cup of instant coffee….singing, “You are my sunshine…..” Because I knew my dear husband had the best of intentions, I was slow to react. I sat up, took a deep breath and thanked him for the coffee and serenade. I then calmly informed him if he ever did it again…he’d be wearing the coffee. Mornings have been blissfully silent ever since.

with Carol Lebeau

involved in the San Diego community in more meaningful ways. I loved my work…but my “retired” friends who’ve gone before me have been such an encouragement. There are boards to join….young people who need mentoring and work that needs to be done by those not constrained by a full-time work schedule. It’s a blessing to have the time. Sure…when news breaks, I’m no longer first to know. These days, coverage of what’s happening in San Diego is in the capable hands of Hal, Kimberly, Steve and all my pals at 10News. And that’s ok. It’s the cycle of life and I’m ready to roll on. I’m blessed with good health, great family and friends, an incredible husband and a “to-do” list that’s growing by the day! Who said anything about retiring?? See ya ‘round.

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These last months since retiring from 10News have been a major time of transition. The local news business was my life for more than three decades. Covering the health “beat” and countless major news stories over the years was the best job ever. And despite all the advice, preparation and prayer…moving on was a shock to the system.

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There was the expected loss of identity associated with leaving any career. At a recent fundraiser I emceed for the USO, it was suggested I introduce myself. All I could think to say was “Hi, I’m Carol Le Beau, the proud wife of a retired Navy pilot! Despite the variety of “projects” I’m working on right now, I have no actual “title.” My business card simply lists my name and contact information. Last week while ordering a sandwich at Panera in Coronado, a young man asked, “Didn’t you used to be the lady on the news?” Yeah, it’s been an adjustment… but the change has been good. For the first time in years, I can watch the sun rise AND set….catch a movie in the middle of the week….listen to Dave, Shelly and Chainsaw in real time and get caught up on my Dan Silva thrillers. I can meet my swim partners for an 8 am swim at La Jolla Cove… take a computer lesson…join a committee or try out a new recipe on “happy” Tom! The possibilities are endless. The flexibility that comes from freelance work is a dream. There’s also time to indulge my passions….speaking to groups on issues of health and well-being, relationships and faith….volunteering for my church and favorite charities and getting

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"Girl Scouts"‌ It is more that just Cookies! Story and Photos By Lisa K. Miller The young ladies from Girl Scout Troop 8116 are sophomores at Westview High School in Rancho Penasquitos. Since they are getting their permits and learning to drive, they thought it would be a great Dad and daughter event for them to earn the Car Sense Interest Project. Together with their Dads, these girls discovered the inside workings of a car and basic maintenance techniques. Each girl learned to check the oil level, check and refill the washer fluid and coolants. They checked tire pressure and located the spare tire in their family car. They also learned how to change a tire and discovered how hard it can be to loosen lug nuts! Other requirements included calculating the cost of owning a car, learning about insurance options and consequences of not having insurance. Police officer Broddas came to a meeting and talked about the realities and consequences of drinking and driving, and how to be a safe defensive driver. Most of these girls have been active in Girl scouts since Kindergarten. Over the years they have done fun activities such as mountain camping, tent desert camping, kayaking, and most recently tried White Water Rafting. Girl scouting also has a community service component to it. Girl Scouts has A High Level Award for each Level of scouting. These awards are on average 20-80 hours of work, and include an education component as well as a community service or improvement component to them. When this troop was in 6th grade they spent a weekend renovating a room in the previous Ronald McDonald house earning their bronze award for Junior Scouts. They learned to use power tools, built head and foot board and frames, created art for the walls, sewed decorator pillows and painted walls. As a group they learned the process of a large project. It was an adventure like the show Trading spaces. With that experience behind

them several members of this troop choose to do Individual Silver Award Projects which is the Highest Award a Cadette Girl Scout can achieve. In the next year many will start their Gold Award which is equivalent to that of a Boy Scout Eagle Award.

Girl Scouts exposes girls to activities, Interest projects, careers, and adventures that they may not have had the opportunity to experience otherwise. Girls find out they can achieve more than they thought initially, discover careers that they are passionate about, and help make a difference in their community. March/April 2010


Events Around Town MARCH THROUGH JAN. 23, 2011: MUSEUM OF PHOTOGRAPHIC ARTS “Beloved Daughters,” photographs by Fazal Sheikh that focus on Indian women in an oppressive society and widows who have devoted their lives to the god Krishna, through Jan. 31. “Picturing the Process: The Photograph as Witness,” through Feb. 6. “State of Mind: A California Invitational,” Feb. 6–June 6, celebrates photography in the 21st century with works by 21 photographers. “Seeing Beauty,” Jan. 30, 2010–Jan. 23, 2011, uses the photographer’s lens to explore the aesthetics of beauty.Tues.-Sun. 10-5 (Thur. till 9). 1649 El Prado, Balboa Park, 619-238-7559, mopa.org

ONGOING: NEW CHILDREN’S MUSEUM The recently opened “Animal Art” exhibit helps kids learn about our animal relatives, along with interactive exhibits, workshops and events designed to send imaginations soaring. Tues., Fri. & Sat. 10-4, Thur. & Sun. noon-4. 200 W. Island Ave., downtown, 619-233-8792, thinkplaycreate.org.. ONGOING: SAN DIEGO WOMEN’S HISTORY & MUSEUM EDUCATIONAL CENTER “All Our Grandmothers” journeys through the lives of women who lived in the San Diego region 100 years ago. “85 Years of Women’s Suffrage” features artifacts from past women’s rights movements. 2323 Broadway, 619-233-7963, whmec. org. Apr 1, 18 2010: Meet the Chefs of Del Mar A gourmet’s delight, Meet The Chefs of Del Mar is an opportunity to sample cuisine favorites from Del Mar’s finest chefs, join the fun of a live auction, and support the programs of Casa de Amparo, a major force in the treatment and prevention of child abuse and neglect in the San Diego Community. Check back for date, time and place. For information or to volunteer your help for the event, please contact Keely Tidrow at 760-754-5500 x 28

March/April 2010

San Diego

MARCH–APR. 25: VISIONS ART QUILT GALLERY “California Fibers: Liminal Spaces.” Tues.-Sun. 10-4. 2825 Dewey Rd., Ste. 100, Point Loma, 619-546-4872, quiltvisions.org.

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Mar 11, 2010 - Mar 31, 2010: Feria de Salud Feria de Salud: Por tu Familia is an outdoor event provided by the American Diabetes Association that is intended to reach thousands of local Latino members of the community with the important message that they may be at risk for diabetes. For information, contact Ana Gonzalez, 619-2349897, ext. 7513.

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March/April 2010


Choosing the Perfect Diamond By Rich Guy Miller white diamond. The Color is purely a result of the gemstone’s mineral composition. “Colorless” diamonds are traditionally the most valuable. As they break up the light spectrum, they reflect more light and what we call ‘fire.’ Colored diamonds are commonly used for industrial grinding. They have enjoyed increased popularity since the 1980’s as ‘champagne’ or “cognac.” Carat Carat is a measurement of the weight of a diamond, but most people see it as a matter of size. In practical terms, as long as the diamond is well proportioned, the value increases exponentially with the carat weight, due to increased rarity. The other “C’s” can also affect the diamond’s quality. Carat isn’t the only factor contributing to price. Cost This brings us to the fifth “C.” Cost. “I know this should go without saying,” Milton adds, “but people’s eyes can glaze over when it comes to a purchase of this importance. The quality of a diamond may not be directly connected to the cost. To solve this, I highly recommend that you make sure you are dealing with a certified gemologist, such as a graduate of the Gemological Institute of America. Other credentials can also assure that you are dealing with a reputable jeweler, and that the cost is fair. Diamond Certificates are another evaluation of the unique characteristics of your choice diamond.” Diamonds that have a report should always be checked and validated by checking it with the respective report. If you are choosing a diamond, especially an engagement ring, learn as much as you can about the characteristics and quality of the diamond you want and this can be achieved by comparing diamonds side by side.

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Choosing the perfect diamond can be exciting and challenging. The first and most important step is to learn what you like. Ask yourself if you prefer fancy shapes or rounds? Do you like one large stone or a collection of smaller cut gems? Do you like intricate designs or classics? Focusing in on what gets you most excited will make it easier to find the diamonds meant for you. We asked Milton Krasner at Krasner Jewelers in La Jolla what makes a perfect diamond. “Most diamonds actually contain natural flaws or identifying characteristics,” Milton advised. “We look for diamonds that take advantage of the gem’s natural brilliance." Diamond appraisal is based on the “Four C’s”: Cut, Clarity, Color and Carat. Cut Since the brilliance of a diamond is determined by its Cut, the Cut is probably the most important of the four C's. A well-cut diamond gathers light through its “table” (the face of the diamond). Light travels into the diamond where it reflects from one facet to another and then exits through the face. This is the brilliance you see when looking at a well-cut diamond. When a diamond has been cheaply cut, however, light enters through the table and is promptly lost through the sides and base of the diamond. Less reflected light means less brilliance. Clarity As Milton mentioned, most diamonds contain natural flaws that occur while they are being formed. The size, number and visibility of these flaws determine the Clarity of a diamond. Generally, the fewer flaws a diamond has, the more brilliance is possible, and therefore the more highly prized and priced it will be. Not only do they exhibit more brilliance, they are also more rare.

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Milton Krasner, G.G., GIA, is the owner of Krasner Jewelers, located at 3262 Holiday Court Ste. 205, in La Jolla, California. For more information, contact Milton Krasner at (858) 677-9000 or visit www.KrasnerJewelers.com. Milton’s email is Milton@KrasnerJewelers.com

Color A diamond's Color usually refers to the amount of Color in a March/April 2010


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Living Her dream, One block at a time. By Judith A. Habert Photos Courtesy of Mariann Asanuma As far back as elementary school there were those who doubted what Mariann Asanuma knew in her heart. At the age of ten she had decided that her life would take a somewhat unconventional path. With all the excitement of a child, she confessed her dreams to her elementary school teacher that she would one day be a LEGO Master Builder, the teacher took her hand and gently patted it informing her that although that was a fun thought, she would one day have to get a “real” job. Even her own Dad questioned her occupational path asking “Why do you keep playing with children’s toys… You’ve gotta grow up” Mariann knew better, and has proven them all wrong. Today she is one of only 50 or so LEGO Master Builders in the world, and one of only a handful of women who can claim this title. Her love of LEGOS started when she was 6 and her family brought her home a bag of LEGOS from a local thrift store. She was engrossed in what she could create and quickly found herself figuring out ways to take her hobby to the next level. As a small child Mariann always liked miniatures, but they could not be played with, as they were too delicate to survive the hands of a child. As Mariann explains, “LEGOS were not only fun to build, but could be played with for hours without being destroyed, and when you became bored you could tear them apart and build something brand new. “Mariann continued on her quest to become the best, landing a job as a LEGO master builder at LEGOLAND in Carlsbad, California. For years Mariann had studied books put out by DK publishing entitled the “Ultimate LEGOS.” Getting this job at

LEGOLAND allowed her to personally work on the models she had gazed at in the pages of these books. LEGOS have been around in their current state since 1958. Their origin is based in Denmark, and the concept appears to have gone back to as early as 1934 when the name “LEGO” was coined. Ole Kirk Christiansen, a carpenter from Billund, Denmark took up toy making when his furniture business was withering. The word “LEGO” is an abbreviation for two Danish words, leg and godt, meaning “play well.” It was later found out that this expression could be loosely translated as “I put together” or “I assemble,” in Latin. Most of us think of LEGO as a toy that is played with primarily by boys at a young age. What most people don’t realize is how many things you can do with LEGO. It has taken Master Builders like Mariann to bring LEGOS to life. As a Master Builder at LEGOLAND Mariann was responsible for a good portion of the structures found in Mini land. Her attention to detail was appreciated and she soon found herself promoted to Master Designer, a designation for those who conceive of the projects and create the blueprint for the project’s completion. LEGO building has become a huge hobby with people from all over the world involved in fan clubs and attending yearly conventions such as BrickCon in Seattle or Brickworld in Chicago. These conventions, generally run for 4-days, and they allow Adult Fans of LEGO (AFoLs) OR Adult LEGO Hobbyists (ALH) to congregate and display their creations. Mariann has attended several of these conventions and has made friends from all over the world who have similar interests and talents.

March/April 2010


*LEGO is the registered trademark of The LEGO Group

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After 5 years Mariann left LEGOLAND to explore her career options. As Mariann states, “I am a freelance LEGO artist now and one of the only female LEGO artist in the world.” She is now commissioned by companies, municipalities and private individuals to create LEGO projects. “My first job was from Warner Brothers Interactive for their Batman LEGO video game launch. "They commissioned me to do the cover art for the video game . One of my favorite jobs was to create a replica of the Afro-American Cultural Center in Charlotte, North Carolina for the Lowes Pride Awards, an annual African-American awards ceremony.” For this particular project Mariann was sent photos of the center in advance. She

built the replica at home and constructed large portions of it, which she brought with her when she traveled to Charlotte to build it live during their celebration. Mariann has come a long way from that young girl playing with that small bag of LEGOS brought home from a trip to a thrift store. Partially driven by the negativity she received as a child when she voiced her dreams of becoming a Master Builder, she was determined to prove everyone wrong, and she has certainly accomplished this. Her Mom and Dad are extremely proud of what she has accomplished and her Dad no longer asks her when she is going to stop playing with children’s toys.

23 Newest Staff Member San Diego Woman Welcomes are Newest and Cutest Staff Member. Our amazing Creative Director Sonali Soni and husband Nakul welcomed their son Shaan on October 15, 2009. Shaan has already assisted us by sitting on Mommy’s Lap while she created the wonderful layout and design for this issue. Thanks Shaan we love your work!

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A guide for family, friends and loved ones in preparing for the effects of the growing elder population …a Public Service from “Those Who Care” Provided by Visiting Angels America’s Choice in Homecare!™

Physical Fitness and Our Aging Population eat better, he became healthier. He lost his diabetic It’s not a secret that we are living longer. However, what tendencies and even improved his heart, to the point that may not be widely acknowledged is that the United States doctors felt his last ten years of life were all a result of his imnow has more elderly citizens than teenagers. How is this proved life style – and he did not even incorporate exercise possible? Medical technology certainly has much to do with into those changes. prolonging life, yet just living longer does not mean you Aging is not only the accumulation of genetic reactions in are living a healthier life. For example, simply walk through our bodies, but the accumulation of poor habits, in the forms nearly any senior apartment complex in America and look of eating and physical activity. When we let “ourselves go,” at how many folks are sitting watching television all day we allow these poor habits to take effect on our already aglong - just sitting all day long. Are these seniors healthy? ing bodies, speeding the process along. Take for example Or, are they aging more slowly than their parents did due to increased medical advances and medications? I, as many of the number one problem with our elderly - falling. Falling is the result of a person’s inability to maintain balance. This is you would, vote for the latter. a result of the person’s psychological fear of actually falling So, how to change this situation? Physical activity is the (and the resulting physical damage the person may incur, answer. Now I know that doesn’t surprise most of you, i.e., broken hip, fractured arm, etc.), and their physical inabilhowever, the scope of the affect of regular physical activity ity to stop themselves from actually falling (which requires on developing a “healthy” life style is impressive. Regular muscle strength). Thus, a regular routine of not only aerobic exercise can even go so far as to eliminate the need for medical intervention with regard to many of our illnesses that exercise, but also strength training would go a long way in helping to eliminate the incidences of falling, especially in seem to be so prevalent in today’s world. An example would be diabetes. We would agree that many Americans are over- our elder population. For as our muscles gain strength, so does our ability to control our bodies’ movements, thus the weight. We would also agree that as we age, we tend to put increase in the ability to prevent a fall. on needless pounds. And, we might also agree that many of Exercise, both aerobic and weight training, is the way to go, those needless pounds are a direct result of a lessening of for all adults. The programs that include these two forms of regular physical activity (not to mention an unhealthy diet). exercise will assist in reducing the need for medical intervenOne result of this increase in weight is the strong possibility tion, especially as we age. With less required medical interof developing diabetes. My dad was a typical middle class vention, our elder population can remain more independent businessman in the 60’s and 70’s. He regularly had his “two for longer periods, and, isn’t that what we all fear the most, martini” lunches, and, I can’t remember a day seeing my dad losing our independence? So, think of ways that exercise exercise, other than ride the golf cart around eighteen holes can be incorporated into the caregiving process. Talk to your on Saturday morning. loved one to see how they feel about increasing physical acGranted the life style of the day was not as advanced with tivities in their routines. You are already making a significant respect to exercise as it is today, so the proliferation of “gyms” as we understand them now had not yet begun. Also, difference in the lives of your care recipient. Wouldn’t it be nice to have them be around even longer, and maybe even “back in the day,” people’s routines lent themselves to more get healthier in the process? exercise (i.e., cutting their own lawns, shoveling their own driveways in the winter, painting their own houses, etc.). Yet, we know now that regular exercise and better eating habits, or being “fit,” is the way to go if you want to live a healthier life. That requires some effort on the part of an individual in order to achieve the desired result: live not only longer, but healthier. As my dad began to lose weight, stop drinking, and March/April 2010


"Beyond Happily Ever After" "San Diego romance writers craft stories with a little bit of love and a whole lot more" By Maria Connor

Those unfamiliar with the genre may scoff at “those trashy romance novels,” but savvy writers know romantic fiction for what it is: the largest share of the consumer fiction market, earning $1.37 billion in annual sales. Author of A Drop of Red and Break of Dawn

With more than 7,300 new titles released in 2008, the romance market provides aspiring writers with more opportunities to become published than most literary markets. Add to the mix a national trade association, 10,000 members strong, dedicated to “advancing the professional interests of career-focused romance writers through networking and advocacy,” and that dream of writing – and selling – a novel is a whole lot closer to coming true. Romance writing with a professional edge RWA-San Diego (RWA-SD), chapter 54 of Romance Writers of America, is a not-for-profit organization that serves as a resource for published authors and aspiring writers by providing education on the craft of writing, industry news, support and motivation. Established in 1982, just one year after the founding of the national association, RWA-SD has approximately 90 members, a third of whom are published. “It’s more than just a group of people who have similar interests,” says HelenKay Dimon, president and author of more than 12 books including Holding Out For a Hero (Kensington Brava, October 2009). “It’s a place where you can get what you need professionally, every step along the way, from craft to queries to promotion.” The group meets monthly with a day-long session that includes two presentations, a business meeting, lunch and book signings. Sometimes the workshops are led by chapter members; many times the workshops feature well-known authors, editors and agents, or individuals with a unique expertise such as FBI agents, marketing professionals or screenwriters.

One of the things that makes Romance Writers of America different from other professional writing organizations is that it serves not only its published members, but those who are working toward publication. Its PRO designation is awarded to individuals who have written and submitted a full manuscript, a significant achievement for those seriously pursuing a career as a romance novelist. PRO members are eligible for other benefits, such as the annual PRO retreat, online classes, a quarterly newsletter and dedicated online discussion forums. RWA-SD supports this initiative by offering its PRO members mentorship, writing challenges, critiques and guidance from its published members. In turn, the membership promotes its published authors by organizing speaking engagements, book signings and other special events. The result is a collaboration that celebrates each person’s success, whether that is a contest win or a threebook deal.

Diego WSan oman

There’s a saying amongst romance writers that today’s books aren’t your mother’s romance novels. Yesterday’s bodice rippers – so named for covers depicting a gorgeous but disheveled heroine caught in the embrace of a brawny hero – have given way to stories that span every subcategory of fiction, including mystery, action-adventure and fantasy.

“An engaging heroine.” —Kelley Armstrong, author of Frost Bitten

“[RWA’s] purpose is to support the romance genre, but in doing that, they educate and support the authors, as well,” says R. Ann Siracusa, RWASD member and author of All For a Dead Man’s Leg (Sapphire Blue Publishing, March 2009). “It’s helped me a great deal. You learn a lot about craft and technique from the speakers that come, the conferences and the other members of the organization.”

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A romance is a romance … or is it? Early romance novels, circa late ‘70s and early ‘80s, were either dramatic historic sagas (think bodice ripper) or modern-day tales in which the hero “rescued” the sweet, innocent heroine, typically a nurse, governess or secretary. Over the last quarter century, the genre has widened to encompass virtually every subgenre. Publishers offer a variety of “lines” dedicated to these specialties: romantic suspense, inspirational romance, contemporary romance, historical romance, paranormal romance, multicultural romance, young adult romance and erotic romance. The heroine might be a vampire hunter, a princess or a witch, while heroes now come in the form of billionaires, shape-shifters and mercenaries. Despite these changes, the defining criteria for a romance novel remains the same: two people falling in love and an emotionallysatisfying ending (otherwise known as the HEA – the happily ever after). The characters and story lines created by today’s author are more complex, offering readers a reading experience that is insightful, entertaining and uplifting. “We start with a hero and heroine who are attracted to each other, but who couldn’t possibly be worse for each other – emotionally speaking,” says Judy Duarte, an award-winning author of more than 30 novels, including Entertaining Angels (Kensington, May 2009). “Then we create a story that makes them face their old fears, wounds and baggage. In romantic fiction, it’s not the set-up that produces a perfect couple; it’s the journey they must take.” The value of membership

26 “When I first got the idea that I wanted to write a book, I had this

passion to do it but I had no idea how to do it,” Duarte says. “I was filled with all these questions that had no place to go.” Membership in RWA-SD provides individuals with a multifaceted support system that goes beyond the technicalities of writing. While the Internet has made it easier to access information about everything from plotting to publisher guidelines, the personal connection is invaluable. “People can give you the inside scoop on what a publisher is looking for what,” says Jill Limber, author and past-president of Romance Writers of America. “People are able to offer ‘inside’ tips because of networking and connections.” For Duarte, assertively accessing the information and experience of other authors helped to shorten the learning curve and saved her from making common beginner mistakes. Equally important was the fellowship and camaraderie she found at RWA-SD. “It was nice to meet with people who thought like I did,” Duarte says. One of the toughest, and most unexpected, challenges for today’s writers is keeping up with technology. Not only are authors expected to do more self-promotion through venues such as Web sites and social networking sites, but the very face of the written word is changing. Along with wireless reading devices like Kindle, the Internet has created new publishing opportunities for writers through electronic publishers like Ellora’s Cave and Wild Rose Press. RWA-SD member Jean Hart Stewart is something of an e-publishing pioneer. Over the last five years she has published 11 romantic paranormals with Cerridwen Press and has another three under contract. She was attracted to e-publishing for the opportunities it presented and because of an awareness that the market for digital books was growing.

“I had definitely read enough to know it was thing of the future and I was fascinated by it,” Stewart says. Siracusa, who self-published her first novel and has two more out with Sapphire Blue Publishing, says e-publishing is becoming a legitimate option for authors who struggle to find a niche for books that may not fit current market trends. “The e-book seems to be a viable career choice,” Siracusa says, “Is it is less expensive and books come out a lot quicker. They are more flexible and willing to take a chance on a new author or a new way of presenting something.” For more than 25 years, RWA-SD has served as a resource for romance writers of all levels, interests and backgrounds. They welcome new members and encourage individuals to attend a meeting or two to learn more about the organization. “You’re going to walk into a room with a lot of people who are happy to see you and are willing to do what they can to help you get what you need,” Dimon says. “It’s the combination of knowing what you’re doing, learning the industry and getting your butt in the chair. I think the San Diego Romance Writers can help you do all of these things.” Romance Writers of America-San Diego meets the third Wednesday of most months from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. The monthly meetings feature two informational/educational sessions, a chapter business meeting, lunch, book signings and opportunities to network with aspiring and multi-published authors. The chapter’s annual fundraiser to benefit adult literacy is held each November and is open to the public. For more information, contact RWA-SD at rwasd.info@gmail.com.

March/April 2010


Bitchin’ & Moaning What Would they Do Without a Remote?

oven, making it hard for me to conjure up sympathy when it now takes under 10 minutes to cook a plate of the same food item. But, alas, they don’t know any better, so I try to microwave items that can cook with the same speed as my daughter’s operation of the remote. There have been times though when I have actually seen her sit on the couch watching the same show for 30-45 minutes - amazed that there has been no channel surfing or fast forwarding through commercials (how do TV advertisers survive now that DVR has made its way into our lives?). The lack of activity with the remote often makes me question whether all is well, and then I hear the words, “Mom, have you seen the remote, I can’t find it?” I am not a stupid woman, so I would never think of saying, “Well, you do know that you can get up and change the channel without the remote.” For I know well enough that the expression facing me would be one of crazed indignation at the thought of such a barbaric idea. Once again I control the urge to provide the “In my day…” speech and join in on the search of couch cushions and possible hiding spots for the remote within the house, as this is a common way for younger brother to annoy older sister. Once the remote has been located, all is well with the world and I can proceed with the process of making dinner. It was a little over a year ago, before my oldest daughter relocated back to New York, that perhaps the funniest remote control event occurred and it still makes me giggle when I remember it. I was in the process of preparing dinner and the “DVR Queen“was sitting on our love seat facing the TV while my older daughter was opposite her on the couch, only half paying attention to what was on TV. My older daughter made the mistake of assuming that younger daughter was listening to her when she spewed some words of wisdom. Younger daughter, realizing that she was somewhat preoccupied with the TV, proceeded to point the remote at older daughter and hit rewind. In her remote control haze she figured she could rewind what older daughter had to say. When everyone in the room realized what happened we broke out laughing and decided that remote control rehab might be in the mix for the “DVR Queen.”

March/April 2010

San Diego

Woman

There are some days when I get home from my office, when I must admit I might not be the most pleasant person in the world with whom to cohabitate. These may be days when deadlines are looming or advertisers at the last minute decide to pull or change an ad. For the most part I enter the house tired, but ready to take on phase two (or is it 12?) of my day. It’s time to make dinner and so my second step after changing into my “hanging out” clothes is to try to decide what’s for dinner: No, I am not organized enough to think about this task until I walk in the door. I guess part of me hopes that one of the kids has decided to surprise mom and make dinner. On occasion this happens, not often, but I still hold out hope. If homework has been done and they are not out with their friends, I am sure to find my son online and my daughter either working on the website for her new clothing business, or perfecting her mastery of the remote control. I can honestly say that I have never seen anyone who can work a remote with the speed, agility, and accuracy that she can. I refer to her as the “DVR Queen” for she has figured out how to successfully program the system to record shows that I didn’t even know I wanted to watch, but lo and behold I do. The only problem is that there is a need to be quick on the draw when it comes to letting my feelings known as to whether a show she has recorded is one that I wish to retain - to watch at a later time or not. I have a mere 2-3 seconds to respond before the delete key has been hit and that show I have been dying to watch is obliterated - never to be seen again (Unless of course it is a cable show repeated 1,200 times before it disappears from the list and can be DVR’d again at 3:45 in the morning). I know times have changed and things that we now have are often taken for granted. I have to keep myself from laughing out loud when a complaint comes from one of my kids that a food item takes forever to cook in the microwave and can’t I make something quicker. It is hard to answer this question without giving them the “In my day…” speech but I try. I often fall back on the baked potato analogy and how ‘in my day’ it took close to an hour to cook one baked potato in the

By Judith A. Habert

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THE MAN-PURSE THING The 80’s saw a great change in men. We had begun to shed the ugliness of polyester and disco and traded the dance floor for the bistro. Women were demanding a change. We became more sensitive and nurturing and took the first painful steps on that journey into sentience. It was ok to cry and the chick flick invaded our homes and theaters. Meg Ryan. I can’t say any more. And the broad appearance of the man-purse threw another curve. Along with our Dockers we now faced the spectacle of this innocuous leather pouch tucked under our arms. Most men avoided them while the rest of us ground our teeth at the “Oh look honey, you should try this. It’ll work with you” line while shopping. We realized the geography of it and silently made notes as to where we shouldn’t use it: Sports Bars, pool halls, the gym, conferences and symposiums ad nauseam. Of course there was the strap tucked neatly inside with the crumpled tissue paper and silicate pack. You mean, this thing has a shoulder strap – for us? Now the chest swelling and arm flailing began. But I acquiesced. Wallet, keys and a pen were inserted and I always wore sunglasses while toting my new found accessory (where were the gold chains when I needed them?). I thought, I can placate Lori by using the bare minimum to show her I could pull this off. My friend Clyde proudly carried his without a worry. He had actually bought his own so I was duty-bound to hold my head up high and march Peacock proud through the world - confident in my manliness. His was stuffed with a world of goodies which prepared him for any circumstance and all I could do was show my drivers license. Understand that a woman’s purse has always been a mystery to men. It wasn’t uncommon to watch Lori rooting through hers (eyes solidly focused into the abyss) and have March/April 2010

By Robert Tussey

her pull something out and say, “I’ve been looking for this!” For how long have you been missing it? And of course the next words were “I can’t find anything in here.” My thought was ‘get a smaller purse’ or ‘don’t put so much stuff in there in the first place.’ But again I got my ego handed to me after a couple of months when she heard me say, “I can’t find anything in here!” I said it with verve and confidence. When I looked up Lori and Clyde and his wife, Doris, were laughing uncontrollably. It was another learning experience. In the late 80’s I transferred to a job where machismo was eaten for breakfast. This was grunt-world on speed. The conversations were organized grunts followed by some solid posturing and fanning of our tail feathers. Arrgghh. Arrgghh. I was the lone guy in the group that carried a briefcase: I was the writer and needed to have my journal and dictionary handy. They finally gave me a pass on it, but there were still the cornerof-the-eye looks now and then. I gave up the purse and grunted blissfully. Life was grand until I retired and found that I needed to have more stuff with me. I got a messenger bag; good for the big stuff (laptop, et al) but not for the day to day things. While shopping at Viejas I went into Wilsons and there it was, The Bag! My name emblazoned and the subtle voice saying ‘you need me, I’ve been lonesome.’ Lori knew. She said, “So, you gonna buy it?” What could I say? I missed the compact convenience: A place for my stuff. By nightfall I had filled it with the necessities and proudly placed it on the counter, ready for armtucking and sideways glances from the insecure among us. I did, however, lose the strap.


The Bing Crosby Legacy Continues with Liz Dry

landscaping. “Previously, there were about 5 weddings held per year at the Crosby, primarily those of members and their families. Coming from a facility that handled considerably more weddings, I am thrilled to introduce the facility to local brides. The Crosby can accommodate weddings of anywhere from a few hundred to a thousand guests. Once the bride sees the beauty of our facility they can’t wait to plan their wedding with us.” In addition, The Crosby has corporate meeting facilities, for large or small business events, which include a state-of-the-art conference room that is perfect for business gatherings and corporate board meetings or retreats. Liz lights up as she talks about her job and the members who have become friends. Her attention to detail is obvious. She approaches everything she does with excitement, and a desire to be the best she can be. She may be the Director of Food and Beverages, but Liz has taken it upon herself to learn all aspects of the facility, so she can be there for all of the members. The friendship and camaraderie between both staff and members makes the Crosby not only a great place to visit, but a great place to live. For more information on The Crosby visit their website at www.thecrosbyclub.com

March/April 2010

San Diego

Woman

Liz Dry knows weddings and she knows golf, so obtaining the position at one of the premier communities in Rancho Santa Fe was a natural fit. Liz Dry, director of food and beverage for the Crosby, has spent much of her career in the Rancho Santa Fe area. Before coming to the Crosby she spent 7 years as the director of catering at the Inn at Rancho Santa Fe. In this position, she helped arrange between 120-130 weddings per year. Liz has an extensive resume of hospitality positions, working all over the country at some of the top hotels and resorts. In addition to her positions she also had her own wedding consulting business. From a young age Liz loved golf, so when she was offered a job to work for the PGA in Jacksonville Florida handling player events, she jumped at the opportunity. A native of California, Liz grew up in Monterrey and although she spent some time working on the East Coast she realized that her home was in California. The position at the Crosby could not have come at a better time, she had just returned from a short stay on the East Coast and was anxious to get back to California. When she heard that a position was available at the Crosby, she was anxious to become part of the new management that had recently taken over. “Escalante purchased The Crosby last October from Troon/Starwood Hotels. What I like best is that when you work for Escalante they consider you family. They have some great plans for the Crosby and it is great to be part of them.” Part of Liz’ job is to help increase membership and Escalante has an innovative way to help do that. Instead of requiring that a potential member pay a huge initiation fee upfront, they have decided to offer trial memberships of 90 days, with no contracts to sign and no pressure. This allows potential members to try out all of the great facilities and amenities before making a decision to join. The list of amenities read like that of a five star hotel, they include an18-Hole Fred Couples Award Winning Golf Course, Private Dining Room, Grand Ballroom, Sports/Fitness Center, and Social events for members. As Liz adds, “There are varied memberships you can obtain, golf, sports, or social memberships, so there is something for everyone.” The biggest change at The Crosby is that they have now opened up their facility to the public for business meetings, weddings, charity events and social functions. The grounds are absolutely gorgeous with rolling hills, lakes, waterfalls and colorful

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Marsha Berkson, Bringing Great Music and a Wonderful charity to San Diego By Robin Dohrn -Simpson

Photos courtesy of Marsha Berkson Marsha Berkson is everywoman’s woman. Like all other modern women, she struggles with juggling home, kids, activities, community service and a full time job. Unlike most women Marsha and her husband own the hot new concert venue and restaurant in Little Italy, Anthology. Marsha was busy raising her two sons, while her husband pursued a career as an attorney and real estate developer. But her husband, Howard, always had a dream of opening a music venue where the sound was perfect, and where musicians loved to play. “My husband did his due diligence. He would go to clubs everywhere when we were on vacations, for hours, and he’d learn a ton of what to do and how to put them together,” Marsha explains. He sought out the best sound people in the country to figure out what to do. Finally one day he said “I’m going to build my music venue that I always wanted.” He converted a 1 story garage into a 3-story state-of-the-art music venue, with nooks and crannies throughout. But most importantly, with perfect sound. He didn’t want to get into the restaurant or night club business, all he wanted was to have a place with great sound, and bring great music to San Diego. His desire was a place that people would enjoy being a part of; artists would enjoy playing and guests would enjoy listening to the artists. The original philosophy of great music morphed into bringing back “that old supper club feel” but with a contemporary spin on it. Today you can enjoy fine dining with a value added spin on it when you go to listen to an artist. “It was built in the most efficient and effective way. The room is built for sound. It is acoustically perfect.” Marsha said. “All of the materials are here for a reason. How they absorb sound. How sound travels.” She explained that the ceiling was even made with waves in it to make the sound travel evenly. “You can sit in any spot in the room and have the same perfect sound at the same time as the person 2 stories up hears it.” Artists love performing here due to the perfect sound. “There isn’t an artist from Ramsey Lewis to Pat Metheney to Chick Corea that doesn’t walk off the stage and say ‘Wow, this sound is amazing’. So when you hear that from their perspective you know you got it right. And they want to come back and perform.” Marsha said. Jazz isn’t the only genre of music that you’ll hear here. Today

you can hear music for everybody. Some of the singer/songwriters are younger and bring a younger crowd. Some classic rock groups bring a more mature crowd. Whatever it is, you’ll find somebody on their calendar. The food parallels the sound. Anthology’s chef, Eric Bauer, has created a tasty menu with foods with a simplicity of flavors. His goal is to create a menu with the freshest ingredients that San Diego has to offer. Most Saturdays you can

find him at the Farmers Mercado in Little Italy searching out seasonal produce. The Berkson’s love the neighborhood feel of Little Italy. It reminds them of their native Chicago. They have taken that feeling into their creation. Tuesday is Fresh Vibe night where guests can walk around the area and pop in after work, enjoy a drink and Chef Eric’s appetizers and meals and listen to the house band. Anthology is located at 1337 India Street. Check out their calendar at www.anthologysd.com to find when your favorite artist is playing.

March/April 2010


and public speaking. “If they’re going to be able to go and talk to somebody at their school, or business, or church or synagogue, they need to know how to speak in public.” She wanted them to learn how to conduct a meeting, run an agenda, motivate people and even how to write grants. The fruits of her year and a half labor now extend to 12 high schools in San Diego. “Where other charity’s food pantries have bare, empty shelves around the country right now, our food pantries are full. Stocked to the brim. And it’s really wonderful. The kids feel the passion and they understand the importance of hunger.” “The ownership that the kids have in the program is rewarding.” Marsha said. All of her efforts paid off when she was presented with a Mitzvah (meaning a good deed in Hebrew) by Jewish Family Service. Last year she was recognized nationally by JFS with the prestigious Goodman Award, a new program honor. Although very thankful for this award, Marsha is more thrilled when kids stop her and thank her for starting Hand Up and for letting them be a part of it. To donate to Hand Up or to conduct a food drive in your school, business, group or congregation, call (858) 6373088. If you would like to volunteer contact them at handup@jfssd.org.

Did You Know?

San Diego

Woman

Anthology is just one of marsha’s passions. There is another one to which she is equally dedicated. Her true love is for community service and social action. When her kids were younger, she helped with social programs at their school and felt that kids needed to learn how to give back to their community. “I wanted to create a program where kids participated, or ran the charity.” Berkson said. One day she approached the administrators of Jewish Family Service (JFS) with her idea to start a food pantry, which was run totally by the kids. The kids would plan, take in inventory, pack food for distribution and distribute food; handle the whole process. JFS liked the idea and “Hand Up” was born. “This charity is not a hand out, it is a hand up.” Marsha explains. “There’s a huge difference between the two.” Everyone needs help at different times in their lives. Hand Up Youth Food Pantry is all about providing help for people to get back on their feet. “We’re teaching the kids the full cycle; they can see how important it is that everything and everyone work together. Seeing the food recipients makes a huge difference.” The Hand up grocery store is open one Sunday a month at Camp Pendleton and once a month at Murphy Canyon military housing. There are various other locations throughout the county, go to www.handupfoodpantry.com. Marsha also wanted to teach the kids leadership skills

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March/April 2010


32

He Said, She Said "Are You A Cougar?" By Robert Tussey & Judith A. Habert Photo by Lisa K. Miller

Are men really from Mars and Women from Venus, as author Dr. John Gray states in his bestselling book? Do men and women really see things that differently? If given the same question could their answers really be so different? At San Diego Woman we wanted to explore the differences between "them" and "us". Read this month's installment and find out how the sexes differ when it comes to communicating with each other. What topics would you like to see us duke it out over in upcoming issues? No topic is off limits, so write me at editor@sandiegowoman.com. I can't wait to hear from you! So there is a new show on TV called Cougar Town, with former Friends star Cougars: A reasonably new title for an Courtney Cox and there is soon to be old tradition. But it’s being played as a new Magazine out of Los Angeles a brand new movement with exclusivity and nose-thumbing. entitled Kougar (Cougar with a K) and Bull. The definition of cougar is an over forty woman datnone of us women of “a certain age” are insulted by being (exclusively) younger men (You even have a new show ing called a Cougar. You are right. But isn’t it about time on TV starring Courtney Cox, ‘Cougar Town). It’s primarily that women receive a positive nickname for being sexually about sex and none of the current slew of articles denies experimental and in tune with our own bodies and sexual it. Fine – up to this point. But the wheels leave the cart needs. Don’t we finally deserve it? For years women with when these ladies start with the reasons they are doing it: such tendencies were called promiscuous, sluts, loose or Freedom. Independence. Not interested in long term comeven worse, while men acting in the same manner were mitments. Get over it; these are old maxims for your ‘new’ studs, playboys, or simply players. Men received accoparadigm. lades, winks and admiring glances from their peers, while Again, you can’t have it both ways. Men, for years, were women were scorned upon and called names behind their called lecherous old bastards for practicing the same thing. back. So there you go…our turn to have a positive phrase And you get ‘Cougar,’ give me a break. Your reasons line attached to our similar behavior. up with men in that the gender changed, not the rhetoric: My Let’s face it there is nothing wrong with having strong sexual ex-husband was too (and here starts the list) fat, too much urges regardless of your age, for both men and women. baggage, lazy, too tired, would rather play on the computer, Should we not be proud of the fact that we have worked wouldn’t experiment, ten up and ten down – you get where hard to take care of ourselves, so much so that younger I’m going with this. Look in the mirror; these aren’t any more men are finally disregarding our age and are asking us original than when we said it. It only serves to legitimize out. For years forty something women were forced to face your actions and nothing more. And now that you have an the reality that the chances of starting a relationship with ex, you say the same things about dating in your own age a younger man, or for even one our own age were slim group. Again, look in the mirror. to none. Primarily, these forty year old men were more Take responsibility and own it. Men should, too, otherwise interested in nubile young beauties. Why you might ask? it’s simply disingenuous. The argument could be made that Because they could! Women would choose older man for our (men) trysts were extra-marital. Some, certainly, but several reasons. One might say money was an important then again you’re in the same cart. I go back to my line from reason. Women crave security and connecting with a finana previous article where I said, “If men are guilty of adultery, cially stable man made our lives easier. But perhaps one of then who are they committing these acts with?” YOU. I think the more important reasons was that women are by nature it’s time for some honesty from both camps. more mature than their male counter parts and most women Women today are entrepreneurial, smart, driven, indepenrealize that it is difficult to find a truly mature man who is in dent…all the things you’ve been fighting for. And rightly so. touch with his own needs and those of his partner, until they But you can’t change the fact that when you achieved this reach the age of 50. Hence the reason for May December level of accomplishment one of the first things you engage romances with younger women and older men. in is ‘cougarness.’ New word. New paradigm. Not so new So perhaps instead of complaining about the new “Cougar” behavior. Go for it, but don’t use us as an excuse. phenomenon men out there should be happy that the tides have turned. March/April 2010

He Said...

She Said...


Could it possibly be that maybe men are becoming more mature? Or perhaps that women are becoming less shallow and are not looking to older financially secure men as a source of financial support? Perhaps it means that women are now realizing that their financial futures are in their own hands. Now wouldn’t that make men out there happy? Wouldn’t it make you feel more secure that those young women who choose older men are doing so because they are attracted to them and not for any practical reasons? Besides, what are you afraid of? This now gives men more options. With older women less afraid to date younger men the possibilities are now endless in the dating arena. The dating pool has now increased. Be happy and be proud when that Cougar pounces upon you.

San Diego

Woman

Did You Know?

Did you know that some simple safety tips could save your life. Times are tough economically, and with this communities often see an increase in crime. Here are some quick tips that every woman needs to know to help keep safe. Did you know that the elbow is the strongest point on your body. So if you are close enough to an attacker don’t be afraid to use it. Did you know that if you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car the best way out is to kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like mad. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives in the past. Did you know that one of the reasons women are easy targets for random acts of violence are their lack of awareness. Always keep in the moment and be cognoscente of where you are and what is going on around you. Talking on a cell phone while walking in a dark mall parking lot is not a good practice. Also be aware of where you are and try to avoid dimly lit areas or driving in bad neighborhoods at night. Did you know that many crimes occur to women when they get into their car and decide to check their bank accounts or fix their makeup. The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. As soon as you get into your car, lock the doors and leave. Did you know that even though many of us are trying to get healthy by using the stairs in place of the elevator, this may be detrimental to your health. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and a perfect crime spot. Elevators can also produce their own problems. Remember if you are about to get onto an elevator and there is someone already inside that appears threatening, do not get on. Of course not all predators look the part, so never stand back in the corners of the elevator. Be near the front, by the doors, ready to get off if needed. Did you know that police suggest that if you encounter a predator with a gun and you are not under his control, you should always run. Police only make 4 of 10 shots when they are in the range of 3-9 feet. This is due to stress. The predator will only hit a running target 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely will not be a vital organ. So running might make the difference between life and death. Did you know that being sympathetic could get you killed. As women we are always trying to be sympathetic. Stop it! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking, well-educated man, who always played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim. March/April 2010

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Tracey Bell Protecting and Serving our nation

There are memories from Tracey’s time in Iraq that she will never forget, the scud missile attacks that occurred twenty miles from Camp, but felt as if they were only a few yards away; the lack of latrines; the MRE meals that all tasted alike. All of these factors added to the experiences of a woman serving our country in the U.S. Navy. When Tracey Bell arrived in Iraq she was still partially in shock, and unaware of how her life took this particular turn. Growing up in a family where the military lifestyle was not unusual she had plans of joining the service, but had instead opted for college. After a year of attendance her Mom reported the sad news that even with her two jobs she could no longer afford to pay for her college education. In order for Tracey to continue in school she would have to drop out for two years to obtain independent status and then she could reapply. During this period she decided that perhaps going into the naval reserve might be the way to go. So she joined up and was able to return to school. The way the reserves works is that a reservist agree to an 8 year commitment to the Navy. Which includes 6 years committed service and 2 years on standby. While in school they dedicate 1 weekend out of every month and 2 weeks of active training each year. While reservists do this, all of their tuition is paid.

by Judith A. Habert

All was going well for Tracey who was studying criminal justice, until a surprise notice from the Navy in her senior year. Tracey and the rest of her unit were given the frightening news that their squadron was being activated for full time service. This was the first time in the history of the reserves that they would actually be used for active duty. Most of the members of her squadron were petrified with this news and it got worse when they found out that not only were they activated, but they would be deployed. Tracey explains, “November came and we were told we would be activated December 12, and we were off to Iraq January 16th. People were crying. It was emotional. Who wants to go to war? Many didn’t feel they had signed up for this.” This news was especially difficult for Tracey’s Mom. Earlier Tracey’s older sister had tragically died from Lupus leaving Tracey as an only child. In past times, the military would never deploy an only child due to the belief that you never put a parent’s only child at risk of death. With this war, all bets were off. Tracey spent the next two weeks in Fort Dix receiving training, vaccinations and orientations explaining the customs and behavior for U.S. Military in Wartime nations. The rules and expectations were particularly stringent for the women being deployed to Middle Eastern countries. The religion and customs require that women in this part of the world remain covered from head to toe even though the weather dictates just the opposite. Before she knew it, Tracey landed in a desert thousands of miles from home in 120 degree heat with sand storms that were like nothing she could have imagined. Tracey was stationed at a field hospital where they treated soldiers and civilians alike. “The Iraq people were very nice and well educated. It was obvious that they didn’t like what was going on in their country. No one wants to fight,” notes Tracey. Tracey’s job while in Iraq was as a reserve police officer and she was on duty at night from 12 am – 12 pm. For this reason many of the scud attacks happened on her watch. She has not forgotten the air raid sounds indicating an attack. Once received, they were directed to grab their gas masks and take cover. “The attacks were scary. You put on your gas mask, take a deep inhalation of breath, and then all you can hear is your own breathing. Shortly you hear a big boom and there is nothing you can do. You think this is it and you can’t help but think about your family. I thought about my Mom.” Watching Tracey’s eyes as she recalls the story of her time in Iraq, you can see the fear in her eyes and you feel as if you are there with her in that war zone.

March/April 2010


March/April 2010

San Diego

City. She still has hopes of finishing her degree in the future. When Tracey returned to normal life the situation with Mom was still strained. “She wasn’t talking to me for a bit when she found out I was gay. She has since passed, although she never fully accepted it, she dealt with it. I never disrespected her and never threw my lifestyle in her face. The sad thing was that because of her anger I didn’t know that she truly loved and respected me. I heard from neighbors, after she passed, of how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. I didn’t realize it, because in my mind she was always angry with me.” For Tracey family has remained important in her life. Her older sister who passed away when Tracey was only 16 left behind a daughter, and today has a 3 year old son, who was ironically born on her Mom’s birthday. Some of Tracey’s favorite times are spent visiting her family, who still live back East. How has life been for Tracey since returning to civilian life? When Tracey was first back from Iraq she felt as if she was just fine. As time progressed she realized that there were certain situations that were extremely stressful for her. “I can recall one time I was driving along Valley Parkway in Escondido while they were doing some construction. There was a loud boom and I had to pull over. I started shaking uncontrollably. I suppose it brought me back to those scud missile attacks in Iraq. The sounds of helicopters and sirens of any kind do that to me as well.” A recent diagnosis explained the problems Tracey was experiencing. Not unlike many returning military, Tracey suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) a severe anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to any event which results in psychological trauma. Approximately 7.7 million American adults age 18 and older suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. About 19 percent of Vietnam veterans experienced PTSD at some point after the war. The disorder also frequently occurs after violent personal assaults such as rape, mugging, or domestic violence; terrorism; natural or human-caused disasters; and accidents. The numbers of sufferers from Iran and Iraq have not yet been calculated and it may take years for these statistics to surface. Even though Tracey did not survive her time in the military without some emotional scars to show for her service to our country, she has managed to move on with her life . While in the reserves Tracey had some of her training at Camp Pendleton and it was this experience that led her to make a move to San Diego. Today she lives in Escondido and works as a card dealer at Harrah’s Resort and Casino. At San Diego Woman we are so thankful for those military men and women who have made such sacrifices for our country and feel there is only one sentence that explains how we feel. To Tracey and all of the other soldiers out there we would like to say “Thank you for your service!”

Woman

Tracey continues, “Another incident I recall vividly occurred one night when there was a fire. We had to jump in our jeeps and drive to a safe location. As we did there was gunfire all around us, and we were told to lock and load and be ready for action. We had only a flashlight to lead our way through total blackness. In the desert the nights are cold and all you can hear are the sound of desert dogs in the distance. It was really scary. I thank God I came back alive. Some people in our unit were sent to Dhahran, Saudi Arabia where I lost a couple of good friends, so I am very thankful to have returned safely.” Conditions were quite primitive when Tracey first arrived in Iraq. Toilet facilities consisted of a shallow hole dug in the dirt, scorpions and spiders often took up residence in Tracey’s boots, and food was primarily MRE’s. This is short for ‘Meal, Ready-to-Eat,’ which is an individual, self contained field ration in lightweight packaging used by the military to provide food and nutrition to its members in combat or field conditions, where food was not readily available. Although MRE meals are perfect for food storage and emergency situations, they are not especially tasty. Tracey lost 20 lbs while in Iraq. Not only were the physical conditions difficult, but it was at this time that Tracey was forced to deal with a very emotional event in her life. While in the service Tracey kept touch with her Mom whenever she could. When they were allowed to go into town she could phone her Mom to let her know she was okay. During one of these phone calls Tracey found her Mom extremely distant and seemingly upset. To her dismay, Mom had received some news that Tracey had hoped to be able to tell her Mom face to face. Tracey, who had year earlier realized that she was gay, had not yet told her Mom. Unfortunately a former roommate, out of anger, had decided to break the news while Tracey was on the other side of the world fighting for our nation’s freedom. Tracey was somewhat relieved that the news was finally out, but had wished she could have been the one to inform her Mom. Tracey knew that she would have to deal with the situation when she returned, praying that she would be going home soon. Luckily Tracey’s unit was full of surgeons and medical personnel, who had practices back home that awaited their return, so they were luckily brought back after 4.5 months. Tracey recalls her reaction when her plane touched down in the U.S. “I was so glad to go home. I kissed the tarmac when I got off the plane. I was so relieved that I lived through it.” Tracey goes on to say, “Our return was amazing….so many people came out to greet us. People were waving flags, and the media coverage was intense. They treated us so well when we arrived home. People were hugging and kissing us. It was awesome. With this war people have gotten much more respectful of the military and are much more grateful. When they hear I have served in Iraq they will often say ‘thank you for your service.’” Although it was Tracey’s plan to finish college, the conditions upon her return would not allow it. The creditors, who are put on hold while our soldiers are deployed, attack once our service personnel return, so Tracey had to go back to work full time to pay off past debt. She worked as a police officer for a time and then ended up training to be a casino dealer. Living at the time in New Jersey she went to work for several casinos in Atlantic

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Spring in San Diego Photography by Jaime V. Habert Models: Hollyanne Setola and Ashley Sasaki-Curtis March/April 2010


San Diego

Woman

Spring in San Diego The Perfect Accessories

Besides their gleaming smiles, these girls are wearing colorful “blossoming” Spring-inspired necklaces. To your right, our model Ashley is wearing a deep purple multi-strand pearl necklace with jewel accents. On the left, our model Hollyanne is wearing multiple strands of faux-pearls and linen embroidered pendant pearl necklace.

Opposite Page Fashions: Top Left: Hollyanne is wearing a black tunic dress with floral print by Max Studio ($140) and a waist cinching corset belt by Torrid ($24). Top Right: Ashley is wearing a sequined evening dress by Forever 21 ($39), Claire’s faux pearls ($10), and a color-blocked belt by Lee’s ($5). Above Left: Ashley is wearing a knit beret by Torrid ($18), Juicy Couture halter top ($178), and jean Bermuda shorts by Levi’s ($44). Above Right: Hollyanne is wearing a pastel pink spandex tee by Charlotte Russe ($8) and structured corduroy skirt by Lapis ($36). March/April 2010

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Woman San Diego

Advertise in San Diego Woman With 91% of all purchasing decisions made by women, why not go right to the source. Advertise in San Diego Women. Contact us today at 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 760.738.8700

For a media kit with special rates and information contact us at marketing@ sandiegowoman.com Photography Submit local photographs that depict the beauty of San Diego. Photo credits will be proudly displayed with your pictures. Letters from our readers make us smile! Share your thoughts on our articles and include suggestions for future topics. San Diego Woman is your magazine, we want to hear from you!

March/April 2010


Women Lead The Way in Rancho Santa Fe Debbie Berans Berans Estate & Fine Jewelry 6016 la Granada Paseo Delicias Rancho Santa Fe, CA 92067 858-756-4508

San Diego

Woman

Debbie Berans knows what it means to provide excellent service to her customers. She learned as a young girl of 14 working for the old Desmond’s Men’s Clothing Store, an establishment owned by her uncle. You would think as a relative of the owner she would get special treatment, but the reverse was true. Her uncle expected more from her and she always managed to please him. His store was an example of the great pride entrepreneurs took in their businesses. Every ribbon on every package was hand tied. The attention to detail was required and each new employee was trained on how to properly answer the phone before they were hired. Debbie brings this same attention to detail and pride in customer service to her jewelry store in Rancho Santa Fe.

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Debbie’s parents left Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in a green oldsmobile convertible , with three young children and $1,000 in their bank account to grab the “American Dream” They rented for awhile, then saved up to buy their first home. When Debbie was 17 the family downsized to a smaller home so that they could buy and start their own business, a jewelry store. Since they still had to keep their full time jobs while the business got off its feet, Debbie was placed in the store to run it. This was the start of Debbie’s career as a jeweler.

Today you can fill all of your jewelry needs at Beran’s Estate & Fine Jewelers in beautiful downtown Rancho Santa Fe. You will find one of a kind jewelry pieces, beautiful diamonds, watches, and unique estate jewelry. Once you visit Berans you will realize what it is like to shop in an establishment that puts its main focus on customer service.

March/April 2010


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Courtney MacDonald Plume 6024 Paseo Delicias, Rancho Santa Fe, CA 92091 (858) 756-4200‎ This unique shop located in central downtown Rancho Santa Fe is a boutique filled with treasures. You will find stationary, invitations, clothing, bags and a little bit of everything. Add the friendly smiles that you will encounter when you walk in the door, and this will be a local establishment that you will want to frequent often.

Coleen Freeman Rancho Santa Fe Estate & Fine Jewelry www.marilynmulloy.com 6024 Paseo Delicias Rancho Santa Fe, CA 92091 (858) 756-4010 Formerly known as Marilyn Mulloy Estate & Fine Jewelry, Coleen Freeman maintains the high quality and reputation for which this establishment has long been known. Best known for their beautiful array of Large diamonds, platinum, precious gems, rare and unusual antique deco, retro & victorian pieces.

Connee Johnson connee j designs 858.481.2514 cell 858.342.7802 connee@dslextreme.com www.conneej.com While working as a flight attendant in the early 90’s Connee was able to shop all over the world for interesting vintage stones, pearls and semi-precious beads. She used these treasures to create unique pieces of jewelry. It started out as a personal hobby, but after retiring in 2003 she began selling her one of a kind jewelry at charity boutiques, and trade shows. Today Connee J designs are favored by women all over San Diego.

March/April 2010


Worst Date Ever By Laurie Johnson Most women have endured at least one horrible date that they only wish they could forget. We would love to hear from our readers about their Worst Date Ever. Please contact us at editor@sandiegowoman.com if you would like to share your experience with us.

They went downstairs to get into his huge car – a big black Lincoln Mark III that looked like a bigger-than-life Mafia car. When she opened the door for herself and got settled as close to the passenger door as she could, she noticed that he slipped a booster seat under his pudgy bottom, allowing him to see up over the steering wheel. He made small talk about tennis, and apologized for being so late because he had just come in after a match. She didn’t think he looked too sweaty (that was the only positive thing she could think of-not sweaty). He said that he was bent over in half due to a tennis injury. They went to the Cock-a-Too restaurant (a thug hang-out in the 1970’s) in Hawthorne. They ordered dinner, and half way through he excused himself from the table. He was gone over 30 minutes, probably more. She was embarrassed and hadn’t any money on her. She knew that he knew people there and would probably come back and pay them if he was a little (pardon the expression)

When she finally started to leave the restaurant she saw Bernard hobbling up the street. She hurriedly flew back to her seat in the restaurant and waited. He explained that he had lost his wallet and went home to look for it. When he didn’t find it at home, he finally remembered that is was in the back seat of his car in his gym bag. He paid, they left, and he grabbed his booster seat and off they flew down the street.

San Diego

He was late picking her up at her apartment. When the knock came, she looked out and at first saw no one. Bernard was almost an elf, though pretty tall for one, around 5’3”. She was 5’11”. He was hunched over, and had a whiney voice with a pronounced New York accent. He was in real estate and fancied himself an accomplished pianist.

‘short’. She planned on just going out after 45 minutes of waiting, flagging down a cab, have the driver take her the mile or two away, then run upstairs to grab cash to pay the fare.

Woman

This was her first ‘blind’ date in her life-she was 28, and had, the previous year, divorced her life-long school sweetheart. She had been with this one person from the 6th grade throughout high school. The divorce had been bitter and had left her shaken in her views of life. She had been set up on this date by a girlfriend of years standing.

He wanted to come up to her place for a nightcap and expected to spend the night. When she told him that was not going to happen, he angrily started speeding down Hawthorne Blvd. Police lights flashed and they were pulled over.... and who should the policeman be, of all people, but her ex-brotherin-law. She thought that when he saw her predicament he would crack up. She didn’t want him to tell her ex that ‘poor Andi was dating old farts that drove big black tugboat size cars’. The cop was cool about it, and acted as if he didn’t know who she was...He also gave Bernard just a warning, and let him go. It was a Date from Hell. Bernard must have felt otherwise, because he tried again to get upstairs in the apartment, and called several times after that particular evening. It was a long time before she ventured out again...and she never went on another blind date.

March/April 2010

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The Night You Don't Remember by Jennifer Johnson You wake up alone in a dark, cold room. You are very tired and extremely confused as to where you are. Your vision is blurry and you can’t ignore the pounding headache you have. You are not sure how you got where you are or who you were with. You glance down and realize that you have no clothes on from the waist down. Questions start to invade your mind. “Did I have sex last night? With who? Did I agree to it? Was I raped?” You have no immediate answers and no memory to draw from. This sounds like a nightmare, but for many women, it is a reality.

Date rape is committed by someone known to the victim and often occurs on a date or during a social event. Date rape is more common on college campuses than “stranger rape”, but can be just as traumatizing and often goes unreported. Take your time in getting to know someone. Be upfront with them and make your expectations clear. Be confident in what you do and don’t want. Know that if a man does not respect you for this, he is not worth a second more of your time. Mind altering drugs such as Rohypnol and GHB play a huge role in sexual assaults and are often introduced at clubs, parties, and on dates. They are odorless, tasteless, and can be dissolved into liquids, becoming invisible. They are also known as “date rape drugs.” Both drugs produce effects similar to extreme alcohol intoxication including nausea, blackouts, confusion, memory loss, sleepiness, dizziness, and loss of muscle control. If taken in large amounts they can cause comas and death. Sexual predators will use these drugs to get their victims into a vulnerable and defenseless state.

Each fall, young girls leave the comfort and security of their homes and journey to distant cities and states in search of a brighter future. They go with the excitement of the unknown and the dream of a higher education, new friendships and the possibility of finding love that could last a lifetime. It is a time for new found independence and responsibility. While the college experience offers many rewards to a young woman, there are also significant dangers that one should be aware of. One of these dangers is men who are sexual predators. Surrounded by drinking, partying, and a lifestyle that often encourages risky and out of control behavior, college is an easy place for these sexual predators to hide. As important as it is to identify these predators in an effort reduce sexual assaults, it is equally, if not more important to be well educated on the dangers of particular college lifestyles and how to keep yourself safe.

Always watch your drinks being made or get your own drinks when you are at a party or social gathering. If you start to feel sick or more intoxicated than you should be, given the amount you have consumed, tell a friend immediately. Seek medical attention right away. It is always better to be safe than sorry. Some women have said that being raped felt like a part of their soul had died. They are forever changed and sometimes never fully recover from the trauma. College should be one of the best experiences of a young person’s life. Being aware and making responsible choices for yourself, you are less likely to become a victim and will be free to benefit from all of the rewards that college truly has to offer you. www.heatselfdefense.com info@heatselfdefense.com

In a recent College Alcohol Study conducted by the Harvard School of Public Health, a survey of 6,988 women from 119 different schools concluded that one in twenty women reported being raped, and of those women, 72% of them stated they were intoxicated at the time of the assault. A person is unable to make rational, intelligent decisions when under the influence of drugs or alcohol. When intoxicated, one can easily place themselves in compromising and dangerous situations. It is imperative to know your limitations with alcohol. Alcohol affects everyone differently and at different rates. Be mindful of how much you consume and be confident enough to say “No” if you are being peer pressured to drink or do drugs. Have a friend who is designated as the sober person and in charge of your group. Check in with them often. If you decide to leave the group, always let them know you are going and with whom.

March/April 2010

Jennifer Johnson OWNER

858-254-9935 info@heatselfdefense.com www.heatselfdefense.com

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really

STOP to look fear in the face. — Eleanor Roosevelt


Fabulous Finds Lizzy B Vintage Found Jewelry City Cupcakes The Best Cupcakes in town

Women’s History Month This year we celebrate the 30th Anniversary of the National Women’s History Project. This lobbying effort has seen much success over the past 30 years. When lobbying effort were set forth the result was that then President Jimmy Carter issued a Presidential Proclamation declaring the week of March 8, 1980 as the first National Women’s History Week. In 1987, another successful lobbying effort resulted in Congress expanding the week into a month, and March is now National Women’s History Month. As a kickoff to this event President Obama held a special ceremony at the White House and made the following statement regarding the plight of women in our country today. President Obama said, “But even as we reflect on the hope of our history, we must also face squarely the reality of the present -– a reality marked by unfairness, marked by hardship for too many women in America. The statistics of inequality are all too familiar to us — how women just earn 77 cents for every dollar men make; how one in four women is the victim of domestic violence at some point in her life; how women are more than half the population, but make up only 17 percent of the seats in Congress, and less than 3 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs.” Women have come a long way in this country, but we still have a long way to go. So join in on the festivities this month in honor of women everywhere and celebrate “Women’s History Month”

March/April 2010

San Diego

It was at the Scripps Ranch Farmers Market that we experienced a little bit of Heaven. This Heaven was in the form of a red velvet cupcake, one of several flavors available. This was one of the best cupcakes we have ever tasted and even more amazing was the fact that the entrepreneurs of this burgeoning business are only 15 years old. Sawyer Epp and her classmate at Escondido Charter High School, Lauren Ball, are the founders of City Cupcakes. Cupcakes are the latest fad food with these specialty shops popping up all over. The girls have also sold their cupcakes at the Escondido Farmers Market and in April can be found every Friday evening at Cruisin Grand in Escondido. They have many repeat customers who make a visit to their stand each week to load up on more delectable treats. Next time you are at the farmers market , don’t just leave without a tasty City Cupcake, you won’t be disappointed. For more information they can be reached at citycupcakes@yahoo. com.

Woman

We came upon Gina Balourdas at The Mercato Farmer’s Market in Little Italy, where she can be found most Saturdays, weather permitting. Her stand was full of one of a kind pieces of jewelry fashioned from some everyday antique items. There are necklaces made out of old typewriter keys, spoons and other varied treasures that she has found over the years. Gina has been making jewelry from vintage found items for about 4 years. Her parents are antique dealers and she has spent her entire life attending flea markets and estate sales, where she finds the tools of her trade to create incredible pieces of wearable art. “I always look at small items as treasures and wonder what can I make with that?". I particularly love to make one-of-a-kind pieces of jewelry out of watches, typewriters and vintage spoons that people bring to me. There is always a story to each piece, and when I recreate their heirlooms into a new necklace or bracelet to wear, they are genuinely moved back to a time of fond memories. (of course the bonus is to reuse, recycle and repurpose!)” For more information on where you can find Gina and her treasures visit her www.lizzybs. blogpsot.com

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on Randy

Napoleon

Randy Napoleon is an accomplished guitarist who has performed with such artists as Freddy Cole, Michael Buble, and Benny Green. Now, he’s taking the time to sit down with San Diego Woman to discuss his musical mentors, life on the road, and hopes for the future. Randy Napoleon’s career began very early, at the age of 13 he fell “violently in love” with the guitar and at 15 was performing for WEMU, a national public radio affiliate in Ann Arbor, Michigan (Napoleon’s hometown). At 16, he was spending his free time in the prominent Ann Arbor jazz club, “Bird of Paradise”, where he experienced the musical performances of Ray Brown, Jeff Hamilton, and Benny Green, in the Ray Brown Trio. Napoleon was in awe of the performers. He found an excitement and joy that he had never been familiar with before. It was more than just a performance; it was a deep sense of camaraderie and soulful expression that filled the stage. At this point, it was no longer a choice for Napoleon to pursue music, it was inevitable. Usually, when a child breaks the news that they want to follow their dreams of being in the entertainment industry, parents will cringe at the notion. However, this was not the case for Randy. Having a mother who was infatuated by the Arts, and a father who always believed in following your dreams was a combination that supported a career in music. Their nurturing yet cautious parenting helped to build Randy’s talent and ultimately, achieve his current career success. That success began with a performance at the Hollywood Bowl, an amphitheatre which seats more than 17,000 people. This

By Jaime V. Habert

opportunity ironically came the day of college graduation, when a call from Jeff Hamilton, a prominent jazz drummer, prompted Napoleon to join the Grammy Award nominated Clayton-Hamilton Jazz Orchestra in concert. It was in this show, which featured jazz legend Shirley Horn, that Napoleon was introduced to Jazz on a

larger stage. He traveled with Benny Green, the well-known British jazz saxophonist and radio show host, who mentored him in life and music. Green’s passion and dedication to his craft heavily influenced Napoleon, who says “Benny is one of the most meticulous and passionate musicians I've ever known. He showed me what it takes for a musician to reach their full potential. Those tours set the bar for me. I've spent the last ten years trying to master the lessons from that period.” Napoleon’s appreciation for his fellow musicians is undeniable and led him to work with many major musicians along the way. Playing with Jazz sensation Michael Buble from 2004 to 2007 was what some would call a big break. It gave Napoleon a stage geared more towards pop music then traditional jazz. He appeared with Buble in numerous forums including some of the world’s most

March/April 2010


prominent venues and on every talk show and publicity outlet imaginable. Traveling the globe with Buble’s big band was a memorable experience for Napoleon. He told us of a funny conversation from the road, “One time when I was with Michael Buble’s band, we were on a snowy bus ride through the Swiss Alps. We took a vote on who we would cannibalize first if the bus broke downeveryone picked me!” The jokes and fun on the road helped to make touring that much better. “That is a fun group of guys, I had a ball”, Napoleon reminisces. Napoleons work with a slew of amazing artists and mentors has shaped his current sound and work ethic.

This is a recipe from the renowned Busalacchi Restaurants.... you will love it!

6-7 oz Red Snapper Filet 1/4 tsp. oregano 1/4 lemon squeezed Extra Virgin Olive Oil to dredge Panko Crumbs to dredge Salt and pepper Crushed chili flakes Fresh Italian parsley 1 oz Extra Virgin Olive Oil 1/8 lemon wedge Add salt and pepper and crushed chili flakes and fresh Italian parsley to Panko Crumbs

To listen to Randy’s music or learn more about his upcoming performances visit: www.RandyNapoleon. com or www.Myspace. com/RandyNapoleon To purchase Randy’s newest album, “Between Friends” visit Amazon. com.

Dip Filet In EVOO. Dredge in panko crumbs.. Add 1 oz EVOO to cold pan, then add filet to bake. When finished add oregano and 1/4 lemon juiced. Serve with lemon wedge.

March/April 2010

San Diego

Red Snapper Oreganato

Woman

Dedicated to the progression of his music, Napoleon explains, “When I have free time on tour, which doesn't always happen, I practice”. If there is one thing that you realize when learning of the life of Randy Napoleon it is that he has the most genuine passion and fervor for his craft. Currently, as a member of The Freddy Cole Quartet, Napoleon plays gigs throughout the country alongside the renowned American Jazz pianist and singer Freddy Cole. Freddy Cole, who is the brother of Nat King Cole and uncle to Natalie Cole, has become a great teacher and friend to Randy. “Many of the musicians who have taken me under their wing have affected me…. I've been extremely lucky to be around the genuine article throughout my whole career”, Napoleon reveals. This is an obvious fact when one becomes familiar with those that have influenced Napoleon. It is with the guidance of musical mentors such as Freddy Cole, Curtis Boyd, Rodney Whitaker, Paul Keller, and Benny Green, that Napoleon was able to find his own voice. The Randy Napoleon Trio is a true expression of that voice. As a guitarist, composer, and arranger of The Randy Napoleon Trio, Randy has the ability to express his own musical viewpoint along with Elias Bailey on bass and Phil Stewart on drums. Whether it’s beside Freddy Cole or as the leader for The Randy Napoleon Trio, you must take the opportunity to see Randy live. When asked of his plans for the future, Randy says, “I want to play the guitar better than I could yesterday”. With the talent and work ethic of Randy Napoleon, we are sure that won’t be a problem.

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Woman San Diego

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March/April 2010


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March/April 2010


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Beating The Odds New Screen for Breast Cancer Risk Would you take five minutes out of your day to protect the health of your breasts? Of course you would, and thankfully a new breast cancer risk assessment test is now available which can help you take control of your breast health. The test is the HALO Breast Pap Test and it is safe, quick and helps you to proactively protect the health of your breasts on a regular basis. In our very first issue of San Diego Woman back in December of 2006, we highlighted one of our local doctors, Dr. Steven Drosman, and this ground breaking revolution in breast cancer risk assessment. Years have passed and the statistics are even more encouraging: proving that having this test is not only a good idea - it is crucial! This holds true, particularly for women ages 25-40, who can be victims of this deadly disease before they even reach the suggested age to obtain a mammogram. Traditionally, mammograms have been the recommended method for breast cancer screening in woman over the age of 40 as part of their yearly health exam. However, up until now there has been no method for women under this age to proactively protect their breast health. It is important to note that HALO does not replace mammograms. HALO collects nipple aspirate fluid to identify abnormal cells which could be a precursor to the development of breast cancer. This early warning sign gives women and their doctors a heads up that they need to be vigilant and proactive about their breast health. Based in Irvine, California, NeoMatrix (the developer of the HALO Breast Pap Test) obtained FDA clearance for HALO in 2002 and began placing it in doctor’s offices in 2005. Since that time HALO locations have expanded to 21 states and several foreign countries. The HALO procedure is considered the ‘Pap Test for The Breast.’ This innovation in breast cancer risk assessment is able to detect changes at the cellular level up to 8 years before a potentially cancerous lump might be detected on a mammogram: In actuality, once a woman can feel a lump the disease has progressed past its earliest and most treatable stage. As the HALO informational material states, “HALO is a simple five-minute test that can help determine your risk of future breast cancer, years earlier than a mammogram. Simply put, it’s the quickest, easiest way to give your doctor a heads-up, and you a head start.” One of the major issues with breast cancer risk assessment is that for many decades women were determined to be likely candidates for breast cancer based on several factors: Family history, personal history, age and obvious symptoms. Unfortunately, history

has proven that these are very misleading indicators. Consider the following; one out of eight women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime, eight out of nine breast cancer patients have no direct relatives afflicted with the disease and 70% of women who develop breast cancer have no identifiable risk factors other than age. With age being a determinant as to whether or not a woman is even screened for breast cancer, a new phenomenon has occurred; breast cancer has now become the leading cause of death for American Women ages 35-50. 250,000 US women living with the disease are under the age of 40. When found early enough, the five-year survival rate is nearly 100%. Also, younger women with breast cancer tend to have a more aggressive disease and worse outcomes than older women. In fact, if breast cancer is diagnosed within two years of childbirth it has nearly a 50% mortality rate within 5 years. Why then do doctors maintain the age of 40 as the starting point for obtaining mammograms? Because mammograms are ineffective in women under 50 with dense breasts and many doctors mistakenly believe that breast cancer is an older woman’s disease. Fortunately, younger women are beginning to enter the breast cancer limelight. In fact, the issue has now gone before our legislature in a bill brought by the Honorable Debbie WassermanSchultz, herself a young breast cancer survivor. On March 26, 2009, Representative Wasserman-Schultz introduced the EARLY Act – the Breast Cancer Education and Awareness Requires Learning Young Act of 2009. The EARLY Act will teach both young women and medical professionals alike about risk factors, warning signs of breast cancer and good breast health, which will help women make informed decisions about their bodies. For more information on the Early Act see the side bar on the following page. With all of these factors in mind I am brought back to my original question - Would you take five minutes out of your day to proactively protect the health of your breasts? Keep in mind that the American Cancer Society estimates that ver 180,000 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed this year. We at San Diego Woman want to strongly recommend to all of our readers regardless of their age, risk factors or ethnic heritage that when attending your yearly physical you request the HALO Breast Pap Test. We have included a listing of doctors in the area who perform this safe and easy procedure in their offices.

March/April 2010


Yearly health exams are by nature not one of our favorite events (and most of us cringe at the idea of adding additional procedures to the poking and prodding done at these exams), but there are times when common sense must prevail. How can you not have the HALO procedure at your next yearly exam? Remember this one extra five minute test can help assure that you will be around to watch your children and grandchildren grow. Take the extra time out of your hectic daily schedules - it can mean the difference between life and death. WHAT IS THE EARLY ACT? Authored by Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL), a breast cancer survivor, and sponsored in the Senate by Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN), the EARLY Act would direct the Centers for Disease Control to develop and implement a national education campaign about the threat breast cancer poses to young adult women. The EARLY ACT would also create a national education campaign for healthcare professionals and create materials to help patients address the long-term effects and challenges associated with breast cancer. The EARLY Act would implement a national education campaign about the risks that young adult women (under 45) face from breast cancer. The bill, with $9 million per year in proposed funding for five years, would also provide assistance to young women who have the disease. The EARLYAct will also provide grants to organizations that support young women diagnosed with breast cancer in order to receive the assistance they need—including social and psychological support, fertility preservation counseling, and recurrence prevention training. The EARLY Act has generated widespread support both in Congress and from national organizations, including the Susan G. Komen Foundation and Breast Cancer Network of Strength (formerly Y-Me) and NeoMatrix. The legislation has more than 365 cosponsors in the House of Representatives and more than 30 in the Senate. For more information on the Early Act and its current progress visit their website at: http://wassermanschultz.house.gov/earlyact/index.shtml

March/April 2010

Robert Biter, MD 499 N. El Camino Real Encinitas, CA 92024 (760) 642-0800 Andrea Cole Raub, DO Center for Age Management 561 Saxony Place, Suite 101 Encinitas, CA 92024 (760) 633-1315 www.agingbetter.com Scripps Clinic Encinitas OBGYN Department 310 Santa Fe Drive Encinitas, CA 92024 (760) 753-5594 Angelica Zaid, MD, Sieu Truong, MD Samina Makani, MD Women's Integrated Health 477 N. El Camino Real, Suite C304 Encinitas, CA 92024 (760) 635-3777 www.encinitasobgyn.com Rahele Mazarei, DO 3230 Waring Ct, Suite D Oceanside, CA 92056 (760) 758-2820 Maria Castillo, MD 15725 Pomerado Road, Suite 201 Poway, CA 92064 (619) 462-2385 Steven R. Drosman, MD 3651 Fourth Avenue, Suite 200 San Diego, CA 92103 (619) 260-0066 Robin Wedberg, MD 5030 Camino De La Siesta, Suite 106 San Diego, CA 92108 (619) 220-0999 www.robinwedbergmd.com John Willems, MD 3811 Valley Center Drive San Diego, CA 92130 (858) 764-9080 Colette M. Eastman, MD Pomerado Professional Plaza 15706 Pomerado Road, Suite 110 Poway, CA 92064 (858) 485-0130 Kim Goodwin, MD Craig Saffer, MD Lauren Bales, MD Amy French, MD, Gwendolyn Henao, MD,Casey Lynch, NP, Mona Nuthall, NP West Coast OBGYN 7910 Frost Street, Suite 400 San Diego, CA 92123 (858) 277-9378 www.wcobgyn.com Visit NeoMatrix website for a complete listing statewide of doctors performing the Halo procedure

San Diego

I recently revisited Dr. Drosman, the physician we spoke to three years ago in our premier issue. I was curious about his success in using the HALO system and he responded with enthusiasm, “This is probably much more than you want to hear, but enthusiasm has a tendency to make me somewhat verbose: It is important to emphasize that the Breast HALO Pap Test is a risk assessment test (actually the only one) as opposed to mammograms and MRIs which look for actual lesions. HALO does not replace the need for regular mammograms. . However, we have detected several cases of early breast cancer using the Breast HALO method which were not found by routine mammograms. The Breast HALO test should be combined on a yearly basis with the mammogram for best results in the prevention and detection of breast cancer” One of Dr.Drosman’s patients, ’Sue,’ (not her real name) is highlighted in the HALO case studies found on their website. Had Sue not had the HALO procedure her breast cancer would have gone undetected… no wonder Dr. Drosman is excited and so are we! Remember the HALO system is not a replacement for the yearly mammogram, but instead should be used as an additional risk assessment test to identify a propensity towards breast cancer years before the same can be accomplished through traditional methods. If a women’s HALO test shows an abnormality then further testing is suggested and the patient is directed to pay closer attention to her breast health, by following up on regular breast examinations as suggested by her physician.

Halo Doctors

Woman

What exactly can you expect from this procedure? It is a simple test which causes minimal discomfort. A visit to one of the doctors performing the procedure is the first step. The equipment utilized is a flower shaped apparatus which is attached to the breast. A warming sensation begins and a gentle massage brings the nipple aspirate fluid to the surface of the nipple where it is collected and sent to a lab for testing. Once collected, it takes approximately 4 days (depending on your laboratory) to receive the results. Not all women will produce fluid but lack of fluid is considered a normal result. An abnormal HALO result does not mean that cancer is inevitable, but it does indicate 4 to 5 times the risk compared to someone who doesn’t produce a fluid sample. The lab work for the HALO test is typically covered by insurance. However, the sample collection procedure, although FDA cleared, is too new to be covered by most insurance companies. The good news is that the test is not too costly at approximately $100.00. For more information and to view the actual procedure as performed on The Doctors and Rachel Ray, visit HALO’s website at http://www.neomatrix. com/.

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Mark Small Award Winning Jazz Saxophonist

By Jaime V. Habert wouldn't go for it. They said "There's the members and there's the help. You're on the side with the help and don't cross that line".” This line didn’t last very long as Mark’s education and talent brought him the success he so deserved. The awards and accomplishments of Small are too many to list. From winning 1st place in the 2001 East Coast Jazz Festival, to being a Semi-finalist in the 2002 Thelonious Monk Saxophone Competition, Mark has impressed musicians and audiences alike. Small’s undeniable talent is also what landed him a position as a tenor saxophonist for Jazz crooner, Michael Buble. As a part of Michael Buble’s band, Mark had the opportunity to travel the globe, playing the jazz standards that so many of us love. It was on this tour that Small’s broad education and extensive performance experience came into use. “We were doing a television show in Australia and I hadn't seen any of the music,” Small explains, “The tour manager asked me if I was ready to play and the music director, standing behind him, shook his head as if for me to not mention that I hadn't even seen the music, so I said "sure am". Went out and played it down without a problem”. Throughout the tour, Mark had a few chances to explore the cities in which he played. “It's really hard to get motivated to research the right places to go when you're in a new city everyday … it’s fun to just wander sometimes”. The tour provided Mark with more than experience; he was given memories to last a lifetime. “That tour was scary, exciting, and intimidating all in one. But I realize those experiences are the ones you end up cherishing the most when you make it through them”.

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Mark Small’s education, a Master’s of Music in Jazz Performance from the New England Conservatory and Bachelor’s of Music from the University of Connecticut, is impressive. What’s even more impressive is the career he’s created for himself. We at San Diego Woman were thrilled to sit down with Jazz saxophonist Mark Small. Going from playing birthday parties to amphitheatres is what every musician dreams of and that’s exactly what Mark Small has done. Growing up in Connecticut, Mark became infatuated with the saxophone at age 13. By high school, he had formed a quartet with his friends and began playing local events and parties. The ability to do what he loved and get paid for it was such an opportunity for Small that he knew he wanted to pursue music as a career. Supportive parents helped to make this choice an easy decision. “My parents were always very supportive,” explains Small, “they would have been happy no matter what I did as long as I enjoyed it”. This encouragement led Mark to attend the University of Connecticut and receive a Bachelor’s of Arts in Music and ultimately, a Master’s Degree in Jazz Performance from the prestigious New England Conservatory. While attending school, Small worked various jobs, one of which led him to the houses of Paul Newman and Michael Bolton. “I was working for a rental company that would deliver and set up party tents,” reveals Small, “I remember delivering to all sorts of people’s homes, like Paul Newman and Michael Bolton”. Mark’s other position reminded him of the career he wanted to pursue. “I remember bar backing at a country club in Rowayton, Connecticut,” details Small, “A band played one night and I got talking to the saxophonist who said he'd love to have me sit in. The management of the club

During the tour, Mark took every opportunity to exercise his creativity. “I tried to keep up with practicing which was difficult when you're in such close quarters at a venue. No one wants to hear you exercising your musical ideas for hours,” explains Small, “It's easy to lose sight of that when you're playing the same music for 170 shows a year”. The creativity that had been building while on tour is now being expressed in numerous ways, including teaching, performing, and recording. Small has been giving private instruction, teaching at universities, and working various clinics throughout the area. It is obvious the satisfaction that Mark finds in nurturing the talent of young and up-and-coming musicians. Currently, he hones his own skills playing with some of New York’s finest musicians, such as the Village Vanguard Jazz Orchestra, the 2009 Grammy Winners for Best Jazz Ensemble, and one of his musical inspirations growing up. In addition to live performances, Small has created a fantastic CD entitled “Bronze” with co-lead Walter Smith that is currently available for purchase through Fresh Sound/New Talent Records at www.freshsoundrecords.com. To hear a sampling of Mark’s music visit: www.Myspace.com/MarkSmallGroup.

March/April 2010


Join NAWBO San Diego in honoring women entrepreneurs who are succeeding and making a difference in

Date: Wednesday, May 19

You’ll also have the chance to be energized by keynote speaker Lisa Nichols of “The Secret” fame. The evening will also feature: • Cocktail hour • Silent auction • Dinner • Networking • Salute to all nominees

Time: 5:30-8:30 p.m. Location: Courtyard Marriott Airport/Liberty Station

Early bird pricing is available through May 5 for individual seats and tables. Registration deadline is May 14.

Register at www.NAWBO-SD.org or call 877-866-2926 for more information. Some of the event proceeds will go toward establishing a scholarship fund for women business students at San Diego City College. March/April 2010

San Diego

annual BRAVO! Awards

Woman

our community at the

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Profile for Judith Habert

KC Issue  

Rancho Santa Fe issue

KC Issue  

Rancho Santa Fe issue

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