! e s i r p Su r
There’s a Silver Lining in Challenging Times One of the biggest concerns expressed by parents in
these challenging times is how to help kids cope with the disappointment and frustration of life turned upside down. “My son has so many questions and emotions that I don’t always know how to handle,” says Encinitas mom Katie Andrews. “He’s only 8 years old—I just wish he didn’t have to worry about any of it.” It’s natural to want to shield children from harsh realities, and it’s a parent’s job to make sure kids feel safe and secure while navigating the difficulties of COVID. But with every crisis comes an opportunity, according to John Gottman, Ph.D. and author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child.
“Negative experiences,” says Gottman, “can serve as superb opportunities to empathize, to build intimacy with our children, and to teach them ways to handle their feelings.” Without diminishing the severe strain of the pandemic, it’s reassuring to know that there can be a silver lining while we wait out current restrictions. Here’s how to use this time to help children grow important emotional skills that will serve them well in life (resilience, empathy, patience and compassion). Focus on connecting. Disrupted routines, loneliness and boredom make solid family relationships more vital than ever to help kids feel safe, secure and loved. Make connecting a priority by focusing on communication and quality time. Try starting each day with a quick family check-in. Ask each person what they’re looking forward to that day. Short breaks throughout the day (playing, reading, going outside for fresh air) can boost a child’s sense of safety and security. Consider having a weekly family meeting in which each child shares a goal or accomplishment and their greatest challenge of the week. Brainstorm how family members can support one another, then wrap up with something fun like a poem, song or story. Practice naming feelings. Helping kids name and understand their feelings provides the ability to self-
14 • SanDiegofamily.com • February 2021
Jody Lee Cates
