Calla Press Issue II Summer 2O19

, In the Summer Issue of Floras Magazine, we are featuring testimonies of women who have stories of brokenness through motherhood, depression, marriage, and faith. I urge you to thoroughly read through every story.

It’s stories from women who have known the struggles of their identity in motherhood and stories from women who suffered under the hands of depression and anxiety.

These are our every-day life stories. They’re words from women not wanting to get out from under their wooly sheets because of the darkness they’re in, words from deep places of women’s hearts that ultimately give glory to God out of their brokenness.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Cor. 12:9-11 My heart and soul have been poured out in the making of the summer issue of Floras; my prayer is that the Lord uses this magazine to reach those who are in need—to help them realize they are not alone, they can do it, and that God is being glorified through their every-day life. You matter, not because of anything you can do, but because—simply— you are His. The beautiful composition of the magazine would not be possible without our lovely contributing photographers, artists, and writers. We are so grateful for their willing and giving hearts. I also want to thank my husband for encouraging me every step of the way. You are so loved, ladies, remember that.

Founder + Editor

Photography by Carolyn Bentum

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God saved me at the tender age of 5 in the bathtub. I still distinctly remember an overwhelming desire flooding over me, all of a sudden. I wanted to give my life over to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, even though I wasn’t fully sure what that meant. I remember yelling for my mama to come quickly. She sprinted to that tub in sheer panic. When she saw that I was ecstatic and not dying, she said, “What is it Bek?!”

I said, “Mama, I wanna invite Jesus to live in my heart!!!” She said, “Right now?! Okay!! Let’s pray!”

So we did.

I wish I could say it’s been a beautiful ride ever since.

It’s been a messy road. Messy is a major understatement. Sadly, I’ve taken my eyes off of Jesus many times. I’ve lived through many seasons in which I allowed myself to believe that I could live like hell while banking on heaven, all the while justifying my behavior with thoughts like “I’m not that bad.” My eyes were on my selfish and/or foolish desires: love, acceptance, worth, beauty, status. Anything yucky you can think of has probably taken root as a weed in my heart at some point.

Yet here I stand in His grace basking in His love because of God’s reckless pursuit of my heart.

I’ve never felt more alone than when I was 16 and living in a children’s home in Orange County, CA. I felt like I had done something wrong, like I was in juvenile hall, although I had done nothing to land myself in that forgotten pit. I felt abandoned and ashamed... like my life was over, although it

hadn’t quite begun. A youth pastor would come visit me and pour Jesus’ truth into my heart. He would drive 45 minutes to pick me up (or have someone make the trek) almost weekly to take me to youth group on Friday nights. Then one of them would drive me back to my form of prison.

I was so thankful but would still cry and beg him not to take me back to that awful place where I wasn’t treated like a real human being. He would tear up with me and say that he would do just about anything to get me out of there if he could.

When I finally escaped that place, I had renewed focus on my mission for Christ — for a while. It quickly faded with the allures of sin that were waiting to ensnare me at my old high school.

A lot happened between high school and meeting my husband at the altar that I still wish I could change. It wasn’t until my husband and I said “I do” that my heart finally made a major turn towards desiring righteousness. Even still, I had minimal passion for the Word.

I began praying, no, BEGGING God to flood my being with a burning passion to know and apply His truth. It took a long time praying for this to come to fruition. It also required years of soul refining to realize that my selfishness and sinfulness were the things holding me back from closeness with the Lord. Jeremiah 29:13 became my life verse: “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” I began praying and asking God to make all necessary adjustments or alterations in my life so that my every piece of my life could be fully His. He has been faithful to pluck those weeds and idols from my sinful heart and continue to reveal them and heal them as they continue to surface. Like I said...

He’s a God of relentless pursuit.

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As the years have gone on, our faithful Father has slowly molded and shaped me into a new person.

He’s given my heart a new posture, a stance of being consistently rooted and established in Him. I’m so thankful to say that due to His mercy, I now share in His desires for my life instead of bucking up against them.

I could not be more grateful that I now have a deep-seated confidence in who I am because of Whose I am. His steadfast love has won over my full heart and my soul cannot let a day pass without communing with/praising my Creator, Father and greatest Friend. He rescued me. He saved me from myself.

I’m still eyebrow deep in my refining process and unfortunately sin continues to flow readily from my heart, but I’m finally coming to a place of understanding His perfect grace and restoration that’s endlessly available to those who love Him. His commitment to refine us and meet us exactly where we are amazes me at multiple points daily.

My soul will never cease to sing His praises.

My lips will never tire of telling His redemption story.

My heart will never be taken over by fear, because I know He is faithful to His every promise.

He will never leave us nor forsake us.

ABOUT With the Lord’s leading, I launched gracefulldaughters.com a few months ago. With greatest joy, i have the privilege of describing myself as one of God’s daughters, wife to Aaron for 11 years, and mama to Zeke (3), Ella Rose (2), and Batman (Pomeranian AKA “Pomonster”). My story has been one with many plot twists but God’s relentless pursuit of my heart has been the one constant theme all along.

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rynn Casey is a Georgia based artist living just north of Atlanta with her husband and pup. She fell in love with creating at an early age, gleaning inspiration from her creative mother.

Brynn grew to know that the only thing she ever wanted was to be an artist, and pursued that dream by attending the University of Georgia for her degree in art. She received her BFA with an emphasis in drawing, and it was at this very school where she

learned the discipline it takes to be a serious artist, the confidence it takes to accept criticism, and the bravery it takes to try new things. Her career began as a student, as she began to explore her love for the ocean landscape in all its forms. Upon graduation, she took this love story with the water with her and is continuing to explore it today in its many facets, claiming that it never gets boring to her, and remains ever challenging. Today, you can find Brynn at her studio in Roswell, GA painting the day away, getting lost in the waves.

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Our culture puts so much emphasis on the feeling and the experience of a wedding, so it’s easy for us to get swept up into the commercialism and excitement. And though these experiences are sensational, I wonder, however, if we might be putting too much emphasis on preparing for weddings instead of preparing for marriages?

If Christ is not our focus, than we can’t expect Him to be the center. So, here is a challenge and a charge we must consider before walking down the isle... regardless of the venue, the date or even the man!

The Challenge: If you've never heard it said, it's so true, "a woman's work is never done". It's NEVER DONE! But many of us are un-prepared for that reality when we walk down the isle. We say, "I do", not honestly knowing that what we are really saying is, "I do" understand that you don't know how to fold clothes properly, so I will have to go behind you and fix it. "I do" realize that your culinary expertise consists of hotdogs and chicken wings, so I will need to be sure I am creating healthy meals for you so that you do not suffer heart failure before you are 40 years old. "I do" agree to not take my frustrations out on you

when you come home, shower and turn on the TV, while I am managing the house, planning our family calendar, cooking and trying to wash my hair all at the same time, after having just breast fed our new born baby and had to grind on my job all day. "I do" accept the fact that, after all my work is done and you feel blessed to have me as your wife, you will never understand what it's like to be a woman". These are the “I do’s” that no one tells you about. It's Eve's fault, really.

According to scripture, her disobedience resulted in pain—not just for herself, but for every woman who comes after her. Ladies, it's painful to run a house. There is gratitude, but it's not always expressed in ways we desire. There is love, but it's not always provided how we expect it to come.

But understand that your toil is not in vain and your service of love will be a crown of glory for your husband (Proverbs 12:4). Marriage is full of serving, which, according to God’s Kingdom, is the greatest role of all!

“But the greatest among you shall be your servant. “Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.” –Matthew 12:11-12 A wife is not a servant, but make no mistake, you will be serving: your husband, your children, your Floras Magazine Summer | Issue II | 13

community, your God. And though this is counter cultural- where we are told that we must be served and spoiled and wined and dined- it is the way of God’s Kingdom, which only produces eternal rewards. There will be days when you feel as if you are carrying the larger and unfair load of domestic duties, despite the fact that there will most definitely be shared responsibilities. But keep in mind that you are not serving in vain, you are serving the Lord! I realize this section is antifeminist, but it's real and too many of us are under the delusion that marriage will serve us. Listen, the Bachelorette …that's not real. Being a wife of noble character, as scripture puts it, requires selfless devotion, which, in a nutshell, is time consuming, day consuming and life consuming.

But, girl, you can do it! And you must, because, as women, we are the gatekeepers to our homes and the sustainer of the hearts of those within our homes. We have a tremendous responsibility to love well, which involves serving well. So be sure to consider the reality of being a servant in your marriage.

The Charge: Regardless of your wedding plans, know that every relationship will change with time. It doesn’t matter how wonderful your dating life was, the infatuation of being in love willl never be a firm foundation because marriage is not an extension of dating. To think that marriage is just the “next step” in your dating life is a huge and misguided understatement. Marriage is a life, a mission and a spiritual ministry. It’s an existence that comes directly from the heart of God (Mark 10:9). He was pleased to create it and He is pleased to bestow such a blessing and gift to us, so we need to be pleased to include Him in on it. Butterflies can only take you so far and diamond rings fade over time. If you’re only marrying for happy feelings, what hope will you have when you’re no longer happy? Look, there will be things about each other that surface only once you are married:

things that will not make you happy with yourself or even your spouse. There will be things about your Hubbs that the two of you will have to accept and grow from, where in dating; it wasn't an issue because it wasn't yet revealed.

Once I was married, I realized that there was a lot about me that my husband couldn’t understand.

He couldn’t keep me happy all the time, and you know what? I couldn’t keep him happy all the time, either. This caused some emotional frustration on my part and I struggled with having empathy and patience with his inability to always understand my perspective. It’s hard to admit, but I found myself very short tempered with him at times.

Sharing an existence with someone can be challenging and these challenges have a way of surfacing character flaws in us and require prayer and seeking of the Lord for direction, growth and strength.

So, I ask you, do you have a prayer life? Do you know how to seek the Lord? Do you know that the love of Jesus understands the depths of your heart when your husband can’t?

We can’t put our husbands in God’s position.

They are men and, like women, men are imperfect.

So we must be sure that we are positioning our hearts towards the One who is perfect and who can love us perfectly, even in our imperfection.

This is the power of prayer: that our Heavenly Father loves us, hears us and desires to work through us, for our good and His glory! And He wants to use our marriages as His ministry, but we must be sure we are inviting Him in.

So, as we pray for blessings, weddings, babies and new homes, we should also be praying for wisdom, self-control, more patience and understanding. We can build on the foundation of the Lord’s compassion and make better choices that will equip us to love our husbands better and live our lives in full maturity and excellence as we Floras Magazine Summer | Issue II | 14

seek God’s guidance and rest in His love.

“If you seek me with your whole heart, you will find me”- Jeremiah 29:13 We must be women who are seeking the Lord, because the alternative is to find ourselves far from Him. When we draw near to Him in prayer, in praise and in our Bible reading, He promises to draw near to us and His presence is what will preserve and position our marriages for greatness.

So, let’s be women who are driven by the Word of God within our hearts, our hands and our homes.

Let’s be sure we are open to serving with the love of Christ in wisdom and a measure of grace that is peculiar to this world’s expectation of marriage.

Let’s position ourselves to be Godly wives, not just pretty brides! You are what the world needs to see: not divas who demand to be seen, but women on mission and devoted to truly loving and living like Jesus.

ABOUT Katrina McCain (above) is a former Fashion Model from Charlotte, NC. She is the author of Beyond Being Good: Seeking Christ’s Perfection for Our Imperfect Hearts. She is married to her husband, Jarrett, and has two baby girls. Katrina is passionate about encouraging women of all ages to live for Jesus authentically, in spite of the culture that tells them they can’t. You can learn more about her book and read more articles on her blog, www.KatrinaMcCain.com.

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who I was and the malfunctioning chemistry of my body wove so tight around my heart that it began to beat with the drum of inadequacy and shame. It snow balled until the point where I began to wonder if maybe I would actually go insane, and if God had really saved me at all.

I can only tell you that now, sister, because the darkness no longer defines me. My heart no longer beats to the rhythm of shame, but of God’s grace. There is a bit of a pit in my stomach to tell you the truth, to admit the depth and width of my despair and the fact that I believed the enemy so deeply that I questioned my own sanity and salvation. That’s the funny thing when the gospel shines light in the darkness: the things that were so malignant and terrifying before lose their grip on you.

As I read through years’ worth of past journal entries, my heart grew heavier with every turned page. I described over and over for years the darkness that seemed to touch everything in my life, and sat heavily like an unrelenting fog.

Over and over, I cried out to God begging Him not to leave me. There was nothing more real to me than that darkness.

Depression has been a greedy companion of mine for most of my adult life. Sometimes he sneaks around in the background, and other moments he seems to be on my back clawing at every part of me. But always he tells lies.

Somewhere along the way, I let the darkness define me. It was a slow, gradual conquering that I let happen simply by not choosing not to let it happen. A submission to a lie here, a downplaying of God’s truth there, and I found myself as a new mom drowning in despair.

The lies that I was a terrible mom just because of

Since we’re being honest, I want you to know that I still struggle with depression and anxiety every single day. The difference is the enemy can no longer use my biology against me to convince me of lies. I no longer define myself by my darkness. It has been a long, excruciating practice to rebuild my mind and my spirit, but one that God has not left me alone in.

One of my dearest friends who has also been one of my greatest champions and mentors, is one of the only people I have ever told of the most shameful lies I have believed and the truest depths of my darkness. She has been the one to pray for me constantly, and to hold my face in her hands and tell me the truth with her eyes looking right into mine, seeing me.

In a conversation I will never forget, with tears in her eyes she told me what she had seen when she prayed for me. I was a small girl, trapped in the corner of a dark house. The enemy had me surrounded and was trapped and tormenting me, and she could not get to me to save me. With tears rolling down both of our faces, she said all that

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she could do was pray in Jesus’ name, and she had been every waking hour.

At any other point in my life, I could not have received what she told me that day. But I had been fighting alone, reading The Bible and praying incessantly, yet no light was getting in. I believe now that the reason I made no progress (besides the incredible biological component that makes it physically impossible to feel relief) was because I was coming to God begging for light while holding tightly to the cloak of darkness all around me.

Suffering from depression as a Christian adds this whole other dimension of faith that, if we are being honest, I think is largely misapplied in The Church today. Depression is not a lack of faith. Faith simply comes in exactly where we define ourselves. I had more faith in the darkness than in God, although I did not realize it at the time. Because I was living in my own mind, all I could believe was that if I was having these thoughts, surely I was made of darkness myself. If I could not feel God, surely He had left me. Over and over I repented and confessed any sin I could think of, and thought that had any tinge of darkness around the edges. I believed that surely

God had rejected me, and felt my voice mixing with Jesus’ as He bore the wrath of God crying out “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46)” It is only when, I believe with the nudging and courage of The Holy Spirit, I told my friend everything and she told me how she saw me when she prayed, that I began to pray and read my Bible and commune with God from my rightful place as a daughter of God that I saw breakthrough. My friend systematically told me every thought I had been believing was a lie from the pit of hell, and replaced it with the truth. We prayed together, and I began to apply the truth of the gospel and how God defines us, every day there seemed to be a bit more light letting in.

My biology is still broken, but my spirit is not. You, sister, will not succumb to the darkness. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not overcome it (John 1:5).” You just need to turn your face to the light every day, so that by it you can see everything clearly. Your darkness does not define you, God does.

ABOUT Karissa Barker is a blogger who writes about living gladly in Christ through life’s ups and downs.

She is a wife and mama who lives in the Pacific Northwest and inspires women through story telling. You can find her on instagram and facebook through @gladlykarissa , or at www.karissabarker.com

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o

truly

suffer

is

perhaps

the

unforgivable sin in this world.

We can scream and rage against the suffering allowed in our lives.

Tears are considered weakness.

We can weep until the tears are made of blood.

Sadness must be contained to appropriate levels.

We can fall on our faces and groan with an agony too powerful to be put into words.

Grief has certain boundaries that it must live within.

Jesus is not scared of the pain we bring.

Loss can be felt but only so much.

He is not unnerved by the rawness that we carry.

All these things have an expiration date and to carry them beyond is

He can sustain the weight of our anger, our grief, and our loss.

To display a fragility of character and strength and faith.

So, fellow broken soul, as we sit here and mourn, do you see Him?

Fellow broken soul, please take my hand.

Do you see Jesus?

Come, let us sit together.

Let us sit here in the darkness and the pain.

He is not watching aloof from a distance, too pure to come near our dirty anguish.

Let us look around and see that we are in a place of

He is not standing far away, judging how well we suffer and submit.

Grief and pain and suffering.

He is right here.

We don’t have to deny it.

He is sitting with us, in all the filth and the ugly we bring.

We don’t have to soften this reality.

We can sit here and crumble to pieces.

His arms are wrapped around us both.

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is tears mingle with ours.

His soul grieves with ours.

He holds us close to his chest and lets us be broken souls.

He was human and He does not condemn us for being fully human in our grief.

Let all the religious teachings that cling so fast slip away.

Let us, instead, come unapologetically.

His heart engages with ours in the fullness of His beautiful humanity.

Let us experience the part of Him that is so often over looked.

He has wailed tears of pain.

Let us know Him as the one who experienced the greatest highs and

He has walked the path of deep loss.

He knows the fullness and the depths of human emotion.

deepest lows of being human.

Let us rest here.

He has experienced firsthand the agony of living in a broken world.

Let us weep into His chest.

He sits and holds us in the tenderness of that shared experience.

He will not remove his presence from us here.

He weeps with us.

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Pink aprons. Watery lemonade. Cookies. All the cookies. For years this was my image of hospitality. There was a group of ladies at my church that made up the “hospitality team.” They gave directions to the nearest restroom when people would visit our campus for the Christmas presentation. They hosted receptions after church periodically to honor someone’s staff anniversary or some other noteworthy achievement. They served up the watery lemonade from giant, fancy punchbowls at these receptions and kept the silver platters stocked with an endless supply of the best oatmeal raisin cookies. These perfectly poised hostesses were my understanding of hospitality until I was in college.

I don’t remember the exact moment I understood true biblical hospitality. I can’t recall when I realized that hostessing and throwing parties had nothing to do with the actual mandate to show hospitality (1 Peter 4:9). What I do know, is that my life has been all about living a life of hospitality and encouraging others to join me. Since true biblical hospitality is simply a matter of loving well on purpose, no one is excluded from this lifestyle! I practiced hospitality in our 750 square

foot apartment as newlyweds by having friends over for game nights where everyone sat on the floor. I showed hospitality when we lived in our 600 square foot apartment by utilizing the outdoor grills on property and hosting barbecues and bocce ball games. Even before these moments, I was living out my mantra to love well on purpose through inviting girls in my student ministry out for coffee and encouraging them in their walk with Jesus. I’ve received hospitality from countless women who hold their time and possessions with open hands and chose to love me where I was and point me to Jesus. We, all of humanity but especially women, have a tendency to overcomplicate things. The Enemy “helps” by spreading lies and planting seeds of inadequacy.

We let our circumstances determine our behavior.

We make excuses that our home isn’t quite big enough. We let the more creative women take the lead and plan the Girls’ Nights. We argue that we’re just too busy or it isn’t our gifting. To those statements, I simply remind you that the biblical call to show hospitality has no qualifiers. Age, gender, finances, schedule and location are all invalid arguments for not showing love to strangers, fringe friends, and neighbors. Think of Floras Magazine Summer | Issue II | 24

all the things you and I could be missing out on when we fail to live a life of hospitality. There are relationships we need in our life but we don’t know it because we never follow through on the “we should get together” exchange we have regularly with that other mom at church. We have neighbors who need love and encouragement.

When we go in through the garage and never meet those next door to us, we give up opportunities to lavish love on those in our community!

they made sure you were taken care of in even small ways lavished hospitality to literally thousands of people over the years. Almost 3 decades later I still see these women’s faces. And I see that their hosting was part of a much bigger picture of biblical hospitality. I’m forever grateful for them…not just for the endless cookies they fed me through the years, but for planting the seed of what a life of biblical hospitality really means.

When we limit our view of hospitality to that of being a hostess, we make it insignificant and dismissible. Pink aprons, lemonade and cookies are insignificant. They are small things that don’t make a big splash. The women behind these items are what made them memorable. The smiles Mrs. Dee, Mrs. Candie and the others had as they served the food and directed people at special events left you feeling loved and seen. The way

ABOUT Rachel Schelb is a lover of tacos, kayaking and Diet Dr. Pepper. She is a mom to two small children and a wife to the love of her life, Andy, who is the Minister of Children’s Discipleship at Idlewild Church in Tampa, Fl. Rachel has seen God take the broken ashes of her life and use them to create beautiful opportunities and relationships! Her greatest joy is getting to encourage women of all ages to use their stories to love well on purpose! You can find her on her website at www.rachelschelb.com.

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“The critical question for our generation—and for every generation— is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ were not there?”

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This is how I have felt so many times throughout my life. Doubt has fought and won many times in my thoughts. Some people may call it low selfesteem. I call it Satan’s attack. The battle begins in our minds, it takes hold of us and begins to mold us. It tells us lies. It distorts God’s truth. Subtly it weaves itself into our innermost being and attaches to our subconscious mind. Even though we are not fully aware of it, it starts to influence our thinking.

I have a confession to make, when I read the miracles of the old and new testament, I find comfort and I am in awe of what God has done for his people. I feel reassured that my savior really does live within me. But, as I read through the stories, the miracles, there is a part of me that doubts at times. There is a part of me that thinks, would I have believed it if I saw it with my very own eyes?

It is in that split moment that Satan slips in and a flood of guilt and disbelief enter. How can I doubt the giver of life, the one who loves me like no other, the one whose son died on the cross for me?

All of a sudden, that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach takes over. The feeling you get when you know something has just gone wrong and the outcome could be really bad if you continue in its path. And doubt wins again.

I am learning that our minds are powerful machines and doubt becomes a powerful player if you let it. I have danced with doubt many times in my mind. I have struggled with my own selfworth, my own value in this world, what other people think or do not think of me.

At times it has made me a prisoner within my own house, afraid of what others will think of me, ashamed in some ways, of what I think of me. I have let Satan take center stage in my mind, and I did not even recognize it. Isaiah 44:20 (ESV) puts it so perfectly, “He feeds on ashes; a deluded heart has led him astray, and he cannot deliver himself Floras Magazine Summer | Issue II | 30

or say, “Is there not a lie in my right hand?”. We do not recognize the lie in our minds because we have been misled by a belief that is not true. We have been deceived. Whether by the actions of other people or by our own lack of knowledge.

Through dark and anxious times God has taken hold of me and filled me with his great love. He has showed me his power. He has whispered his living word into my heart. He has revived me when I did not think I could be revived.

He is a God who sees me! And I know that God’s mercies are new every morning, that he loves me as one of his own. When I say live freely, I mean FREELY.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. Psalm 91:11 (ESV) So I have learned that God will conquer my doubt if I let him. And he will for you too.

ABOUT Tina Domer is a full-time registered nurse. She is married and has three beautiful children, ages 19-24. She resides in northeast Ohio. She felt God’s gentle prompting to share her heart through words to encourage others. She is passionate about helping others.

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The life of a child of God is not void of trouble.

We walk through circumstances that break our hearts and take our breath away. Paul understood this reality and more than once, he prayed for his brothers and sisters in Christ to know the love of God and to live so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God (Colossians 1:10). But how, we ask, can we cultivate a life that bears fruit when the struggles and pain we face threaten to take us out and sideline us from the race we are called to run?

Paul asks God that we may live this life by, being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy (Colossians 1:11).

I worry that I might have missed something, that maybe I’m not good enough, that I’ve sinned one

too many times for God’s grace to cover me, or that I’ve failed the inspection. The problem with this way of thinking is that it’s self-centered. The strength I am seeking does not come from me. It can’t come from me. I don’t have it. Nothing in myself can help me to endure what this life will ask of me. The apostle James wrote along similar lines. He said, Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” (James 1:2-3). The word “perseverance” here echoes what Paul prays in Colossians when He asks that we might have “endurance.”

Tending to a garden takes time. Planting the seed, watering the soil, and pulling the weeds are all part of the cultivating process, a process that requires patience. God had called Jeremiah to a difficult task. He was to be God’s mouthpiece to Israel, God’s chosen people, who had rejected Him and turned from Him. Jeremiah, as a prophet, was to live a “life worthy of the Lord”, but his calling would not be easy. God knew what Jeremiah would face, and instead of delivering Him from it, He said to Jeremiah, “I will fortify you.” Fortify is usually a term that means to strengthen. Cities in those days would fortify themselves by building walls to keep their enemies out. God told Jeremiah Floras Magazine Summer | Issue II | 34

that He would make him like a fortified wall of bronze (Jeremiah 15:20). God was going to give Jeremiah a backbone to face the difficulties before Him. How would God do this? Jeremiah’s relationship with God was deeply personal. He knew God and listened to God. He only did what the Lord told Him to do and spoke only what the Lord told Him to speak. Jeremiah invited God into every part of His life.

Jesus understood this more than anyone. He said, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4). If we keep the channel open, the river of the water of life, flowing from the throne of God (Rev. 1) will gladly fill us to overflowing and strengthen our weary souls. One of the most beautiful promises God gave to Jeremiah was when He said to him, Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known (Jeremiah 33:3). God fortifies us by the power of His Spirit that we might not fall or crack under the pressure of our trials, so that when others look at us and see us walking calmly with assurance in the midst of our grief, they would be

pointed to the One who gives the strength to endure. The world’s way of grieving without God looks like giving up, hysterical fits of panic, and angry rebellion. What does endurance for a child of God look like? If His strength is ours, we will be strong. 1. Yield and submit our will to His, even when we don’t understand. 2. Look deep enough to see that He is ever working all things together for our good. 3. Discern His love at work in us and through us 4. Trust Him in the process Finally, James tells us, And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:4).

Endurance of our trials and struggles makes our faith mature, well rounded, and complete in Jesus Christ. Isn’t this what we long for after all? To be complete in Christ, known and loved and whole? There’s an ache inside of all of us, a missing piece, that only Jesus can fill. When we try to face life in our own strength, we rob ourselves of the work that God wants to do in us to bring us to completion in Him. It is not in my own strength that I am strong, but the strength of the One who lives in me.

ABOUT Sherilyn Grant was an elementary teacher and principal for over ten years. She holds her B.S. in elementary education.

Her love for teaching the Bible led her to Virginia where she earned her M.A. in Biblical Interpretation and currently teaches undergrad Bible classes at Regent University. She hosts the Truth Seekers: Bible Stories for Kids podcast, and has traveled to Africa, Thailand and India working alongside children’s pastors and teachers holding workshops and children’s outreaches. She can be reached at sherilynrgrant@gmail.com.

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ords have power. That was the Sunday school lesson I was teaching to my 5th-grade class.

The object lesson for the day was to cut out a heart while also writing hurtful words onto a conversational bubble. After completing the activity, each student shared their hurtful words with the class; words that they undoubtedly have heard in their lifetime.

“Dumb.” “Mean.” “Ugly.”

As each student spoke their hurtful words out loud, slashes were made to their paper hearts.

It didn’t take long before everyone’s hearts were battered, torn, and broken.

The students were then handed bandaids.

On each bandaid, students were instructed to write kind, healing words before offering it to another student in the class.

Upon receiving the bandaids, students carefully placed them over the slashes on their hearts that reflected their brokenness. Slowly their once shattered hearts became whole again.

As the teacher orchestrating this activity, I’m confident the lesson spoke more to me than any of the 5th graders present. Like Saul, the scales fell off my eyes, and for the first time, I could spiritually see the errors of my ways (see Acts 9:18).

“Great listener.” “Good friend.” “Kind.”

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You see, it was that very morning that my son and I had an argument. We were running late for church, and I was getting frustrated with his actions. The words I used cut him sharp, and deep.

“Hurry up! Why are you so slow?” “Every Sunday we are waiting for you!”

One by one, a steady assault of damaging words flowed out of my heart. It wasn’t until that object lesson that I fully realized that the words that trickled out of me were words spoken from a mother I don’t want to be, nor the mother God has called me to be.

For the next 45 minutes, while my body was physically present in Sunday School, my mind was elsewhere. I anxiously waited to find my son, hug him, and tell him how sorry I was for hurting him. Like Jesus, my son offered me grace and forgiveness I didn’t deserve.

I will never forget that day. God used the Holy Spirit to gently, yet powerfully show me the power of my words. He showed me that every moment of every day is an opportunity to choose how I respond to my children. I can answer with kindness and gentleness, or I can react with cutting words. The choice is mine.

The Bible points to the benefits of using healing words.

“A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.” (Proverbs 18:4) “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” (Proverbs 16:24) And the Bible reminds me of the power of using cutting words.

“Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:4) “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” (Proverbs 15:1-2)

There’s not a mama reading this article that doesn’t want to use kind, relationship-building words in every interaction she has with her children. And yet, day after day, in households all around the country, cutting words freely flow out of our mouths.

When those words overtake us, we wonder who we are and what we have become.

Why do the words we speak hurt more than heal, especially to those we love so dearly?

I’m coming to realize the answer to this question is less about self-control and more about the condition of our soul. When our soul - our very lifeline - is tired, weary, overwhelmed, and stressed, the words we speak are more likely to be cutting and damaging, rather than healing and comforting.

Think of it this way - your words represent a litmus test to your soul. It is either parched, desperately needing a drink, or full, ready to serve. What is your soul saying to you?

On that Sunday morning, I realized that my soul was so parched that the words I spoke to my son reflected this neglected state. I was not permitting myself to sit with the One who fills me, who gives me life, and renews me as no earthly way can. I am realizing (albeit, slowly) how essential it is for me to spend time with God. Just twenty minutes in the morning, sitting at my Creators feet, reading and praying to Him, is what I need to be filled and grounded.

When I make this time non-negotiable, I find that kindness, grace, mercy, and compassion flow out of me more easily. And when moments come (because they always do) when my internal thoughts turn negative, I’m learning to go back to God to refill me as only He can.

Mama, if you too struggle with your words, take heart. God wants nothing more than to quench your thirsty soul so that you can, in turn, love on your children in a God-honoring and Godpleasing way. Time spent with your Creator, at His feet, is always time well spent - for you and your children.

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I believe strongly in the power of journaling. If you do too, I encourage to spend a few minutes processing your thoughts around these questions:

2. How can just twenty minutes spent with God make you a better version of yourself, while also serving your family?

1. In what way can you seek God today so that He can fill you?

ABOUT Angie Nippert (above) is a simple girl who is learning to slow down, embrace rest and self-care, and to prioritize what's most important in life. She loves to write about how God is showing up in her life in the areas of family, motherhood, and career. You can find her writing at angienippert.com and as a co-contributor with The Better Mom Blog and Reckless Abandon Ministries.

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