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I am acutely aware that dialogue on sexuality is a very difficult subject for people to openly discuss, but also for many it carries deep pain ...
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For the previous 20 years of my officer ministry I have been able to practice (part-time) as a psychosexual therapist. During these years I have heard stories of sexual trauma, abuse, violence in relationships, addiction and so much more. I am acutely aware that dialogue on sexuality is a very difficult subject for people to openly discuss, but also for many it carries deep pain. Most conversations in my new appointment acknowledge the difficulty of talking about sexuality, but also affirm how needed this dialogue is in a Salvation Army setting. As we open dialogue and show a willingness to have the difficult conversations, we can build trust and I pray an outcome will be that we better understand those who carry hidden and silent pain. There are recurring themes that have echoed around the Salvation Army world. Repeatedly, there is a call to understand and respond to helping people with married life, partner abuse, pornography and same-sex attraction and relationships. These issues have been raised many times, often from different angles, but always with a heart for people who are dealing on some level with these issues. There are other issues such as child marriage, dowry or polygamy that belong to specific cultures. With a pastoral approach I want to be nonjudgemental and seek to understand context as well as content. 2. THE LENS OF THE POWER OF STORY Jesus discerned the heart. It is important to hear people well and seek to discern their heart. This will help me understand more about the person, the culture and their context. There is power in a story. In my conversations with leaders, I usually ask the question: ‘What is the main concern you have about sexuality in your territory?’ This is when I learn more about cultural issues, and the variety is incredible – from teenage pregnancy to a deep concern for marriages, issues around dowry and bride price, the prevalence of child marriage and cultural ‘rites of passage’. Culture is a crucial influence on how we view relationships and sexuality. The value of the girl child is often a concern I observe, which leads into how men ultimately treat women; this
can be from encouraging and supporting child marriage to violence in the home, controlling her, sexually violating her choice in how to ‘give’ her body and making her subtly aware that she has less value than boys and men. I am encouraged and moved that men tell these stories with pain and sadness, and often give examples of how they have raised their own daughters differently compared to their own generation (when women were not treated as equals).
MORAL AND SOCIAL ISSUES
the officer october-december 2020
The Salvation Army stands up for social justice. I hear many examples from around the Army world where women’s ministries and project teams work to raise awareness and empower women. Poverty is often at the root of issues that become violent and abusive. I have a heart full of gratitude for those who actively engage to bring about change. 3. THE LENS OF INCLUSION ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ Scripture uses the word ‘love’ as a verb. People are excluded for many reasons; I have an overwhelming sense that we can change the world if we each take a small step to intentionally include those who are on the margins in our context. If we extend this throughout our corps and centres, we may find God entrusts us with even more broken and needy people than we could ever imagine. Inclusion helps people to heal and restore, and we can truly learn how to love our neighbour as ourselves. In his Call to Mission, the General speaks of inclusion: ‘We must be beyond reproach in treating all people with respect and compassion, remembering our mission to meet human needs in Christ’s name without any discrimination. In Christ’s name we can enable others to seek and find him.’ It has been my experience that there is a reluctance to talk openly within corps/centre settings about the pain and suffering people feel regarding sexuality. For some this is due to shame for what they have done or what has been done to them. The feeling of being unclean or unworthy is prominent in their minds, and they fear rejection if people knew their story. For others it is a struggle with LGBTQ issues that means they cover their lieut-colonel julie forrest
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