re:story - The Happiness and Wellbeing issue

The happiness and wellbeing issue - FREE

FAS H ION, FAM I LY, C U LTU RE, L I F E

The secret to happiness GOOD COMPANY? FINE FOOD? PEACE AND QUIET?

Wear-apy DRESS YOURSELF HAPPY

Learning to love life CLASSES FOR BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT

RECREATIONAL COURSES 2016/2017 Interested in learning a new skill or hobby?

We’ve got the perfect evening course for you.

MONDAY

Italian - Improvers

Junior Trampolining (8-12)

Adult Climbing

Keep Fit - Body Maintenance

Rag Rugging

Children’s Climbing Club (8-15)

Know your Overlocker

Christmas Cupcakes

Next Steps in Computing

Spanish Advanced Conversation

Cupcake Decorating

Piano / Keyboard

French - Improvers

Pilates Exercise

Halloween Cupcakes

Spanish - Beginners

Volleyball for Beginner

Spanish - Improver

Workout to Music

Tai Chi With Qigong for All

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

Acoustic Guitar

Award in Computerised Accounts L1

Badminton for All Basic Bushcraft Digital Photographic Practice First Steps in Computing Introduction to Digital Image Enhancement using Photoshop Introduction to Digital Photography Italian - Beginners

Teen Trampolining (12-16) Yoga Fit Yoga - Beginners Yoga - Intermediates

THURSDAY Funky Aerobics Pilates Exercise Singing for Pleasure

Children’s Climbing Club (8-15)

Spanish - Beginners

Curries & Spice Cookery

Spanish - Improvers

Dressmaking

Yoga for All

French - Beginners French Conversation Italian Classics & Pasta Cookery Italian - Intermediate

SATURDAY* A Demonstration of Encaustic Art Making Silver Jewellery Wedding Crafts

To enrol: Call 01271 852356 or visit: www.petroc.ac.uk/recreational For full course listings and further details, visit www.petroc.ac.uk/recreational or contact the recreation team on 01271 852356. *Some courses run throughout the day

What’s inside 8 6

6

8

News What’s new at NDADA.

What’s the secret to happiness?

We put the question to the people of north Devon.

Wear-apy

14

14

Queen of colour Penny Blower shows how to apply a little rainbow therapy to our wardrobe, while goddess of style and new NDADA trustee, Jane Stanley shares her top tips on how to dress yourself happy.

Designed and written in north Devon by www.saltmedia.co.uk Fashion styling by Alessia Sheldon Photography by Guy Harrop Photography Thank you Simone Kesseler and Alessia Sheldon for creation and direction. re:story is available free of charge at selected retailers, salons, children’s centres and waiting rooms, and is funded by our advertisers. For copies or to advertise, email admin@ndada.co.uk or call 01237 472939. Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of North Devon Against Domestic Abuse, and products and services advertised are not endorsed by the charity or its trustees.

Welcome

20

T

here are some very good reasons that we’ve chosen happiness and wellbeing as the theme of this fourth issue of re:story magazine.

Firstly, we’re thrilled to have secured some funding for North Devon Against Domestic Abuse (NDADA) which will help us continue the essential work we undertake everyday, supporting families who are affected by domestic abuse. As you can imagine, we’re ecstatic about this, and plan to invest in some fantastic and hugely beneficial projects – read all about it on page 24.

24

18

20 24 28 32 34 38

Treasure hunting We’ve uncovered some gems at NDADA’s new Bideford shop.

Volunteering makes you happy Connect with the community and discover a new source of happiness and wellbeing.

Winning through The team at NDADA is celebrating winning funding from the Big Lottery.

Happy families Rosanna Rothery talks to mums who have fought to maintain a healthy relationship with their kids.

The art of happiness It’s all change at north Devon’s fabulous gallery.

Learning to love life Learning a new skill can boost wellbeing - find out what you can teach your mind, body and soul.

How you can help Want to be a friend of NDADA?

Secondly, we know that keeping mind, body and soul together is what enables each of us to be an effective support system for our own community - whether that’s family, friends or other groups we’re involved with. So we thought it would be fruitful to find out what makes us happy (see page 8), how to dress yourself happy (see page 14) and we learn that it’s never too late to restore relationships between parents and children on page 28.

Wishing you happiness and wellbeing.

Susan Wallis CEO NDADA

Stylish, understated clothing with a fashion edge

4 Holland Walk, Barnstaple, EX31 1DW 01271 324977

Penny Blower Image consultant

01769 560497 | 07828 888387 www.pennyblower.co.uk penny@pennyblower.co.uk Colour, style, wardrobe detox and development, personal shopping, presentations, new you, workshops and more… Just ask! @PennyBlower

Colour, Fashion and Fun

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 5

NEWS

Inspiring women We launched our Inspiring Women campaign, which celebrated north Devon women at a soiree at Boston Tea Party in Barnstaple. The photography exhibition raised awareness in Barnstaple for a whole month, the pop up boutique on the night raised over £1,000 and lots of people pledged to help NDADA. Here’s a taste of what went down on the night. Photographs by Guy Harrop

6 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

New website We’ve been busy bees creating a very useful new campaigning-style website for NDADA. Look it up in the autumn as a source of information about domestic violence, the services that NDADA offers, news on our campaigns and for ways in which you can get involved with, and support the charity.

Importantly, it’s got a ‘hide me now’ button, so users can close the website and be redirected to the BBC homepage at the click of a button.

Find it at www.ndada.co.uk

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 7

HAPPINESS

What’s the secret to happiness?

Yoga? Family? Freedom? Just what is the secret to happiness and wellbeing? We put the question to the people - and you might be surprised by what they said ...

8 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

‘It’s appreciating that no one and nothing has control over your happiness, living in the present and appreciating and being grateful for all that you do have.

‘Write down and visualise your blissful life. Focus on what you want and have, rather than what you don’t have or long for.

Giving is the key to receiving.’

Marie Gould, life coach and director of happiness at Mind Over Matter, 47

‘Trying to have a positive attitude about everything, even if its a situation you don’t want to be in. You’re more likely to have a positive outcome.’

Katie, student, 18

‘Happiness is self generating and I think you have to recognise and remember to enjoy the small, everyday things that give you pleasure.

For example, I enjoy preparing and eating a nice lunch. It's pleasing to simply put different ingredients together - it doesn't have to be complicated - and it means my husband and I take a break from work. It's a pause in the day.’

Jan Cooper, psychotherapist, 78

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 9

THE HAPPINESS ISSUE

‘It’s being so immersed in an activity that you forget yourself. Whether you achieve that individually or by joining a group, it’s that sense of creative bliss, where you are in the moment and you and the world around you disappears.’

Lisa Barton, pastoral mentor, 35

‘Being free without people telling you what to do.

Playing football makes you happy too, because you can just have fun and you’re not working. Also being in nature without cars and engines – just birds. They’re the cars of the forest.’

Billy, 8

‘Surrounding myself with people that I love, doing things that make me happy and learning to love myself – even my faults.’

Keziah, student, 18

10 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

‘For me, happiness is about paying attention and noticing what we already have and already are, rather than striving and planning what’s next.

‘My favourite quote is “Sometimes it’s ok if the only thing you did today was breathe”. It reminds me of the incredible gift of existence and keeps me in the moment. We don’t have to be “doing” all the time, there is a lot of happiness in “being”!’

Kelly Smith, counsellor, 38

‘How I am now is completely different to how I was, but for me, happiness is knowing I’m in control of my own life, having a happy home, being able to watch my children grow into confident, happy individuals fills me with pride.

That’s a big worry after what they saw when they were growing up.

‘Not living treading on eggshells makes you appreciate every day. I saw a quote a year after I’d left the relationship and it struck home with me. It said: “The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom is courage”.’

Mandy Davies, survivor of an abusive relationship, 50

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 11

THE place in North Devon for superb live entertainment, theatre, films, live satellite screenings, exhibitions, workshops... and delicious local food!

See our Summer Open-air Theatre Programme - 26 events set in 10 beautiful venues throughout North Devon Bring low back seating/blankets and picnics High quality refreshments are available

12 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

HAPPINESS

‘I find joy in the small things: watching a bird in flight, lambs being born in the small hours in our shed, the dogs playing, my vegetables – growing or not! Happiness can be found anywhere, as it comes from within.’

Sue Marcantonio, Shaman, 61

‘I believe the key to happiness is the freedom to continually “realise you” in all the ways you want. There are as many keys to happiness as there are hearts in the world. Balance between time with other people and time alone is really important for me, being able to work, practice yoga, walk and dance, fresh air, being in love, learning, good food, fun, creative projects like Arta Ahura and feeling connected and appreciative. ’ Mireille Thornton, writer and owner of Arta Ahura, 39

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 13

Image: Colour Me Beautiful

Wear-apy STYLE

Queen of colour

You only have to listen to popular expressions like “seeing red” or “feeling blue” to know that colours have long been linked to emotions.

Image consultant Penny Blower shows you how to apply a little rainbow therapy to your wardrobe. Get ready to pick a new hue and strike the ideal tone for the day ahead

S

o you’ve woken up feeling fragile, fraught and frumpy. Fear not. Image consultant Penny Blower has these words of advice to turn even the bluest Monday into a vibrant start to the week.

‘Start off by putting on your favourite underwear. Get on your slow glow [gradual fake tan] which also has the effect of making you look more toned. Then look in your wardrobe and think about how each colour makes you feel. A colour may match your mood yet

14 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

be no help whatsoever to how you are feeling.’

Penny recommends asking yourself “does this colour match my mood? And if so, do I want to wear a colour that matches my mood or do I want to wear a shade that changes my mood?

Here are her colour interpretations...

Scarlet woman – knock ’em dead in red Sporting red gives you strength and makes you feel empowered and strong.

Wear it: to lift your mood and feel cheerful.

Top tip: if you don’t want to dress headto-toe like a cherry, wear red undies instead. It will secretly boost your bravado all day.

Don’t wear it: if you are trying to bring out the best in someone in a oneto-one situation; it’s just too fiery.

Babe in blue – stay cool Get the blueprint for a great day in the office with calming hues of blue.

Wear it: to feel confident in a business or formal setting.

Green goddess – naturally gorgeous

Don’t wear it: with a high contrast shade unless you want to look pretty powerful.

Wearing green gets you in touch with your earthy, empathetic side.

Top tip: tailoring and high contrast (think dark navy and a light shirt) will make you look authoritative.

Don’t wear it: if you want to exude authority.

Wear it: when you want to support someone in a meeting or an important situation.

Top tip: there are more shades of green than there are of any other colour so find a shade that looks great on you.

Emerald suits most people.

‘Do I want to wear a colour that matches my mood or changes it?’

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 15

STYLE

Pink lady - see the world through rose-tinted glasses Be tickled pink with a rosy glow that brings out your flirty, feminine and sensitive side.

Wear it: around people who know you well and understand you.

Don’t wear it: if you want to make a strong impression.

Top tip: use it in splashes for a fun girly accent.

Golden girl – glow ahead and smile The sunny warmth of orange is fresh, fearless and fun.

Wear it: to boost your morale with happy holiday vibes.

Don’t wear it: if you want to blend into the background.

Top tip: it doesn’t suit everyone. If you have cool colouring get the same effect with a summery pink.

Penny’s top feel-good tips:

1

4

2

5

3

6

Feel strong and confident in clothes that fit your beautiful shape and colouring.

Understand your style personality. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.

Use accessories to change your outlook. We all know about that well-known mood enhancer - a new handbag.

16 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

A smile is the perfect accessory to cheer you and those around you.

Try exercise which you really enjoy. It releases the happy hormones and boosts confidence.

Experiment with this season’s fun trends: pom poms and tie dye.

Penny is an image consultant who advises on how to look and feel your best through colour, style, wardrobe weeding, personal shopping, presentations, workshops and seasonal updates.

Tel. 01769 560497 E. penny@pennyblower.co.uk www.pennyblower.co.uk

Goddess of style

Meet new NDADA trustee Jane Stanley, owner of bijou Barnstaple boutique Private Collection II. She shares her thoughts on looking and feeling chic and chipper

J

ane Stanley deals in happiness and wellbeing on a daily basis. ‘Yes I sell clothes,’ she says. ‘But to watch people transform as they feel good about themselves (and some haven’t for a long time) is, to me, one definition of happiness.’

Jane’s top tips to dress yourself happy 1. Be tickled pink A little candy can sweeten your day. For a sugar rush without the calories, wear spirit-lifting pink. Add navy or pale grey as a foil, or mix with dark denim for a cool vibe.

2. Get happy feet Shoes glorious shoes! We all know a new pair of sandals, pumps, wedges or mules – whether high end, high street or from a charity shop – is a fab way to put a spring in your step. And, the great news is, whether you are having a fat or a thin day, they always fit. A glamorous new pair of heels will always elevate your style and mood.

3. Shrug off the blues This season’s erogenous

is bang on trend yet won’t leave you too exposed.

Chic yet never cheap, it’s the perfect way to get glam nonchalance à la Brigitte Bardot.

4. Be a good sport You don’t need to be a bornagain gym bunny to embrace the fast-growing athleisure look. Combine function and fashion for comfy daywear that takes you from locker room to living room. What’s not to like about stretchy fabrics, soft cashmere hoodies and luxe trainers?

It’s perfect school-gate glam – without even having to break into a sweat.

5. Crack a smile A big beaming smile is always the best accessory.

zone is the bare shoulder and it’s a look we can all do. An off-the-shoulder top with little sleeves

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 17

RE:STORE

Treasure hunting

Our Barnstaple store was such a success that we’ve only gone and opened one in Bideford Take a look at some finds, plus gems we’ve been showing on our Facebook pages recently (re:store Charity Shop). Like us to get the heads up on what’s new in-store – and don’t forget to tag us on your re:store bargains.

MELLOW YELLOW: perfect match with dark denim

SILK BESIDE THE SEA: handpainted scarves by local artist and re:store volunteer Jane Williams available to order at www.artisansilks.co.uk with 10 per cent of profits to NDADA

BLISS IS A BOOK: great reads for everyone in all our stores

18 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

: LLICA A T E M t elegan for ories access ights glam n out

GROOVY BABY: handmade floral print Sixties midi skirt. A vibrant pink festival must-have

MARVELous giant framed posters for young superheroes

re:store, 39-40 Boutport St, Barnstaple, EX31 1RX. Tel. 01271 377798. re:store Junior, 79 Boutport St, Barnstaple, EX31 1SR. Tel. 01271 327996. re:store Bideford, 1 High St, Bideford, EX39 2AA. Tel. 01237 459291.

ENGLISH ESSENTIALS: sophisticated menswear for every pocket

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 19

COMMUNITY

Volunteering makes you happy!

It’s official – so get out there and get stuck in. We’ve found some great ways you can volunteer and connect with the north Devon community

Did you know that studies have shown that being a volunteer can help to prevent social isolation, improve mental health and even have a positive effect on physical health? Volunteering has been linked to lower blood pressure and living longer. Not to mention that it looks great on your CV, if you’re looking to give that a boost.

We’re all so busy living hectic modern lives that it can be hard to imagine how anything else could be fitted in, but volunteering needn’t be a chore, and you might be amazed at the range of volunteering options on your doorstep. Take a look at some of these ideas and see if anything grabs your fancy.

‘Volunteering has been linked to lower blood pressure and living longer’

20 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

Be a friend of NDADA People who make contact with NDADA are often in need of an objective and reliable friend to support them.

We also need friendly people to help with children and young people at Refuge. There are a number of other ways you can volunteer for NDADA, including helping out in the Bideford and Barnstaple shops, selling advertising in re:story magazine and helping with lots of behind-the-scenes activities. Take a look at the NDADA website to find out more. www.ndada.co.uk

Find a furry companion If you love dogs but can’t fit one into your home-life, why not offer to walk a dog for your local Dogs Trust or The Cinnamon Trust which helps the elderly and terminally ill take care of their pets? www.cinnamon.org.uk www.dogstrust.org.uk

Use your transferable skills If you have a clerical or professional skill and a few hours to spare, The Citizens Advice Bureau would love to hear from you. It relies on volunteers who can help with professional services, fundraising, IT, administration, campaigning, trusteeship and supporting witnesses. www.citizensadvice.org.uk

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 21

COMMUNITY

Do you like to be beside the seaside?

Do you spend time on the coast? Why not get involved with the two minute beach clean movement? Pick up as much litter as possible in two minutes and take it to a bin - recycling what you can, of course. www.beachclean.net

Get crafty If you have any level of ability in knitting or sewing you could help the Special Care Baby Unit at North Devon District Hospital take care of poorly and premature babies by making comforters and other practical items.

Call 01271 311772 or email ndht.charity@nhs.net for more information

Conserve our countryside National Trust rangers cover a huge area and have a big task on their hands to look after the countryside around Devon and always appreciate help. www.northdevon.wordpress.com/ volunteer-opportunities/

If nothing here floats your boat, get in contact with Devon Voluntary Action.

Its team will be able to tell you about a range of opportunities in Devon and match your skills and amount of available time with the right organisation. www.devonva.org/want_to_volunteer

22 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

North Devon’s Cookery School for inspiring but achievable cookery skills; cooking from scratch, for interesting every day, for specific diets or for stress-free entertaining.

TEACH PARTY

TEACH HENS

TEACH BLOKES

TEACH ONE2ONE

TEACH FAMILIES

TEACH TEAMS

JELLY & GIGGLES PARTY

TEACH STUDENT SURVIVAL

Enjoy interesting cooking in a warm and welcoming home environment. A perfect venue to bring guests for an exclusive “cook-your-own-party”!

01598 710277 | www.twotartscookeryschool.co.uk

wo Tarts Restory Advert.indd 1

arta ahura ORGANIC, HANDMADE, NATURAL LUXURY

TOWELS | THROWS | ACCESSORIES Enduringly beautiful and versatile in hand-loomed raw organic cotton, silk and linen – find them in selected shops and at

www.artaahura.co.uk SUPPORTING

PEOPLE

AND

ECOLOGY

THROUGH

CRAFT

20/01/2016 11:33:12

Chronic muscular pain?

Find out how Somatics can help you?

Debbie West is a Pilates and Somatic Movement Education teacher, helping her clients stay aligned, healthy and out of pain.

www.northdevonpilates.co.uk 07977 449254 Debbie has been teaching for 10 years, originally trained by the Pilates Foundation and is a member of The Independent Pilates Teachers Association.

Bringing profound change through...

• • • •

Women’s Workshops - find the real you Shamanic, Reiki and Earth Energy Healing treatments and courses Spiritual House and Land Clearing Healing for the terminally ill

www.spiritunleashed.co.uk | 07896 326024 THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 23

Picture courtesy of North Devon Journal

NDADA

Winning through After years of crisis management to keep the refuge going, the team at North Devon Against Domestic Abuse is celebrating winning a generous pot of funding from the Big Lottery. CEO Sue Wallis explains what it means for north Devon

Timeline 24 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

1975

Launched as North Devon Women’s Aid Refuge in a small terraced house with few facilities

1998

Moved into purpose built refuge accommodation

T

his is a great leap forward,’ smiles Sue, of NDADA’s receipt of £670,000 worth of funding (over five years) from the Big Lottery Women and Girls fund. ‘It means we have some security as an organisation and can implement some exciting plans to work with many more people over the next five years, including children who will learn that life can be different.’

Sue and NDADA’s financial administrator sat together for days putting together the bid and creating a very detailed budget (for which they were especially commended) in order to access the £48m fund to support the empowerment of women and girls.

‘It’s not necessarily around domestic violence,’ says Sue, ‘but the Lottery was particularly interested in femaleled organisations where there is a lot of input from the service users, as well as an opportunity to expand the voice of young women.

‘This is a one-off fund which was released as a result of the outcry after the government withdrew a massive amount of funding last year. The Big Lottery asked organisations to make an application for up to £750,00 over three or five years, or – for larger, strategic projects with a national focus - between £2-5m.’

The CEO of the groundbreaking charity is riding a wave of positivity and enthusiasm after the win, which is shared by the entire NDADA team, saying: ‘this is a real recognition of success, especially for the members of staff who are working on the front line delivering the service. They can often feel very detached from the public face of the organisation.’

Big plans for the funding include a new re:store upcycle bus which will take the charity’s clothes shops (currently in Barnstaple and Bideford) out to rural areas of the

Can your business support NDADA? Small and medium sized businesses have a responsibility to their own staff with regard to domestic violence, but often don’t have policies or ways of addressing the issues. Working with NDADA as a supporter of the charity is one way of broaching this. Here are some ways in which you can get involved: •

Make NDADA your charity of the year

•

Coffee mornings and cake sales always raise funds and NDADA will always send a member of the team to support the event

•

Hold social events for your team or your clients at one of the re:store shops. Provide drinks and nibbles, let people enjoy some shopping and NDADA will provide the space for free

•

Advertise in re:story magazine

•

Introduce a Give As You Earn (GAYE) scheme where employees can donate direct from their salary each month, before tax

To find out more about supporting NDADA, please call Sue on 07772 768533

2002

First outreach services offered in the community

2011

Changed name to North Devon Against Domestic Abuse to encourage male victims to seek support

2012

First re:store charity shop opened in Barnstaple

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 25

NDADA

‘a new re:store upcycle bus will take the charity’s clothing shops out to the rural community’ community, where information and access to help around domestic violence issues will be available alongside funky clothing and accessories.

NDADA in a nutshell •

NDADA provides temporary refuge to women and children who have suffered domestic abuse, and offers support and aftercare to any woman who has left Refuge

•

It encourages service users to determine their own future and helps them achieve it, whether this involves returning home or starting a new life elsewhere

•

Recognises and cares for the emotional and educational needs of children involved

•

Offers support, advice and help to any service user who asks for it in the community

•

Educates and informs the public, the media, Police, courts, Social Services and other partners and organisations about domestic abuse

•

Supports families in a holistic approach to help keep families safe and relationships healthy

‘The bus is an exciting bit of the project and holds opportunities we don’t even know about yet,’ says Sue. ‘Another benefit is that we’ll be able to expand our work helping people with complex needs, including mental health issues and substance and alcohol abuse. The project funding is going to allow us to have a specialist member of staff where previously we’ve had to rely on external agencies from a health service that’s pushed in the extreme. We’ve not always been able to act as quickly as we need to and it’s been a huge issue for us for a long time.

‘We also know that we are going to be able to learn a lot from this,’ says Sue. ‘The Lottery is very interested to understand what is best practice, so the people who have received funding have an obligation to share information about what we learn with the wider community, which is a very positive move. As an organisation we feel very supported by the funders, which is unusual. The only place we usually get that is from Lloyds Foundation, who we have worked with for a long time.’

It may look like everything’s rosy for NDADA right now, but Sue is keen to say, ‘we can’t give people the impression that we don’t need additional income, as that’s not the case. We need to continue to fundraise and work with individuals and businesses to keep NDADA and the refuge open.’

2013

Local authority and government funding ceased

26 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

2014

re:store Junior charity shop opened in Barnstaple

2016

re:store charity shop opened in Bideford

Yes! You can have it all...

Successful business Mum is seeking 5 working partners to work part-time from home without compromising family commitments or current career.

If you have a supervisory, managerial, sales, marketing, recruitment, nursing, teaching,or self-employed background, or you wish to develop an extraordinary lifestyle.

Local people - supporting local business supporting local people - together

Join our FREE local buying collective at

www.groovees.co.uk Get the kind of prices from local companies that you can only get when you buy in bulk.

Over 2500

local people have already joined

Call Susie Revell

01237 475109

It’s the power of collective buying, working to support local

re:store { the fashionista’s best kept secret }

A shop with a difference.

So stuffed full of beautiful and cool things you’ll forget you’re in a charity shop. What will you discover on your visit?

re:store 39-40 Boutport St, Barnstaple EX31 1RX re:store 1 High St, Bideford EX39 2AA re:store junior 79 Boutport St, Barnstaple EX31 1SR

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 27

F E AT U R E

Happy families F A M I LY

Knowing what’s holding you back is often the key to making positive changes.

Rosanna Rothery finds out about the mums who, quite literally, have been smashing down barriers to a happy, healthy relationship with their kids

T

he mums are scribbling things that hold them back on a giant wall.

Mental blocks include traumatic experiences, frustrating encounters and self-defeating emotions.

The act of sprawling spontaneous graffiti over a wall is just one of many fun, creative activities on Grow Together, a course to help victims of domestic violence heal their relationship with their children.

‘All these things get shoved on the wall,’ says intervention worker Rachel Tossell, who runs the course. ‘We look at each individual item and we share ideas. We ask: “what can help break that wall down?” The women then write their solutions on post-it notes which they stick on themselves. Then they all smash down the wall together.’

28 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

This cathartic act of demolition is just one of the many tools used to empower and support mums who want a better understanding of how domestic violence has affected their relationship with their kids.

‘There is always time to heal’ ‘It’s called Grow Together because we don’t want to dismiss what the mothers are already doing. They are already a parent and they just need to build on the positive stuff,’ says Rachel.

The six-week programme, developed in the NDADA refuge but now being adapted for mums in the community, helps women regain confidence in their parenting skills.

‘It’s never too late to have a happy childhood’

It’s Never Too Late to Have a Happy Childhood An excerpt from the poem by Bruce Williamson to remind us we can play at any age

Wonder and wander around, feel happy and precious and innocent, feel scared, feel sad, feel mad, give up worry and guilt and shame, say yes, say no, say the magic words, ask lots of questions, ride bicycles, draw and paint, see things differently,

‘The perpetrator can put quite a lot of obstacles in the way of a woman being a good mum: dismissing her parenting or encouraging the children not to listen or answer back,’ says Rachel. ‘When they come out of the relationship there could be a lot of things leftover that affect how things are with their children.’

Simple recreational activities encourage children to express their feelings and creativity. A nature walk, doing a jigsaw together or just collecting garden foliage for an art project can turn into therapeutic and fun bonding experiences.

Fall down and get up again, look at the sky, watch the sun rise and sun set, watch clouds and name their shapes, watch the moon and stars come out, trust the universe, stay up late, Climb trees, daydream, do nothing and do it very well, learn new stuff, be excited about everything, be a clown, enjoy having a body, listen to music, find out how things work, make up new rules, tell stories, save the world,

‘Not all children need professional help but some do, so it’s about awareness,’ says Rachel. ‘We look at how play can be therapeutic so children can talk and express themselves, which is a really important part of healing.

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 29

SALES LETTINGS COMMERCIAL thewrightproperty.co.uk CALL TODAY FOR A FREE VALUATION OF YOUR PROPERTY

01271 374062

30 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

‘There is this real fear you can make it worse for children by talking. It’s important to say you can’t get it wrong.

Children may find it difficult to express themselves, if they are not used to it, but that is quickly superseded by the positive stuff.’

Mums who had unpleasant things happen to them when they were young often appreciate Rachel’s assertion that it’s never too late to have a happy childhood. Riding bicycles, drawing, painting and blowing bubbles can be enjoyed at any age.

Each session ends with mum being read a story, a magical tale they can re-tell to their children at bedtime.

‘Stories are fantastic at helping us look at a situation, and once removed they can explore how somebody else dealt with their anger, sadness or loss.’

It’s hoped that by working with partners, the delivery of Grow Together can be extended to fathers. By the end of each course, Rachel often notices a positive change in the women and their relationship with their kids.

‘I had one parent once say, “I’ve started taking my child out to a coffee shop after school once a week”.

‘The relationship before was fractious and negative and there was no fun. But by focusing on the positive and doing fun things with the child, it changed their relationship.’

‘At the end of the course we ask the mothers to get a hand print of their child and we put that in a frame with this poem’

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 31

A R T S & C U LT U R E

The art of happiness

There are some exciting new changes afoot at The Burton at Bideford, as the gallery and museum leaps into a brave new world. Jo Rees got the lowdown on what’s worth a visit this season

I

t’s well known that creativity and the arts makes people happy. Whether that’s getting into a flow state while creating a piece of art, taking time to visit a gallery to enjoy quiet contemplation of the work, or being entertained by musicians and performers.

So are you feeding your creative self? If you think that you could do with a little more nourishment, take a trip to Bideford where the Burton Art Gallery has been relaunched as The Burton At Bideford.

This hub of creativity celebrates its 65th birthday this year and has just left the umbrella of Torridge District Council and launched out on its own as a charitable trust. So the Burton team now has the opportunity to inject even more creativity and oomph to its programme of high-end arts events and exhibitions.

Here are a few of this season’s must-sees: Burton’s 65th Anniversary 17 Sept–2 Nov Visit this vibrant exhibition celebrating 65 years of The Burton which tells its story through a fascinating collection of artefacts.

From humble beginnings the Burton has grown to be the only purpose-built venue in the area on the north coast, between Bristol and St Ives, hosting exhibitions of national and international standing.

Westward Ho! and Bideford Art Society - 94th Annual Open Exhibition 23 July–3 Sept For an eclectic and exciting mix of painting, printmaking, sculpture, ceramics and 3D art don’t miss this exhibition. An institution on the north Devon art scene, the respected society has a knack of delivering the unexpected while fostering and nurturing the region’s finest artists.

32 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

Clearing Later, by Judith Westcott, woodcut

Clangers, Bagpuss & Co 5 Nov–22 Jan 2017 Want a trip down memory lane? Meet Bagpuss, see the Soup Dragon and behold Noggin the Nog in this touring exhibition organised by the V&A Museum of Childhood. Oliver Postgate’s voice and Peter Firmin’s puppets shaped the childhood memories of millions when they started collaborating in the 1950s. As well as telling the story of Bagpuss and the Clangers, this exhibition goes behind the scenes of some of their other creations: Pogles’ Wood, Noggin the Nog and Ivor the Engine.

Bagpuss, Smallfilms/V&A

Snow Day by Merlyn Chesterman, woodcut

The Annual Open Christmas Exhibition 19 Nov–22 Dec Want to find a unique, handcrafted Christmas gift? This fundraising open exhibition is a great way to support The Burton and experience the best of north Devon’s artistic talent.

One Day This Glass Will Break by Cornelia Parker, photogravure Courtesy the artist and Alan Cristea Gallery, London

Cornelia Parker: One Day This Glass Will Break 24 Sept–7 Nov Cornelia Parker is a renowned British artist who has been shortlisted for the Turner Prize. Best known for her large-scale installations including Cold Dark Matter: An Exploded View (1991), her new body of work is inspired by Fox Talbots’ first photographic images. This exhibition is on tour from London’s prestigious Alan Cristea Gallery.

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 33

SELF

Learning to love life

Learning something new can boost our wellbeing in so many exciting and positive ways. Mastering a new skill exposes us to fresh ideas, helps us stay curious, builds our self confidence, gives us a sense of accomplishment and is a chance to make new friends

There’s no need to go back to school or to get a formal qualification to get the buzz of learning. Why not join a club, choir or class?

Here are some ideas for engaging body, mind and soul in fabulously enriching new pursuits

34 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

Body We all know that physical exercise is great for our health, but did you know it also releases endorphins which increase positive feelings and help to relieve pain?

The effect of a good workout on your brain is similar to morphine, yet the resulting high is completely natural.

Learn to be a road cyclist A two-wheeled jaunt with Propello Women’s Cycling Group, which meets at CarbCycles bike shop in Barnstaple, is exhilarating fun. Rides are led by coach Rob Wakefield who aims to create a fun environment ‘not fuelled by testosterone’ where women can ride, train, chat and eat cake together. www.propello.bike/womens-cycling

And stretch ...

Said to be the secret behind Pippa Middleton’s shapely derrière, pilates is the body system of choice for those seeking a flat stomach, toned arms and firm thighs. Check out Kendra Pilates in Braunton and Debbie West Pilates in Barnstaple. www.kendrapilates.co.uk www.northdevonpilates.co.uk

Get fit and feel fabulous There are no mirrors, no pumping music and no men at Barnstaple’s award-winning state-ofthe-art women-only gym. Go30 offers personally tailored fitness programmes in a fun, friendly and supportive environment. www.go30.co.uk

Mind

Studies have shown that people who continue to stimulate the old grey matter and develop beyond school years are happier and more confident as a result.

Dance yourself dizzy According to research, you get a bigger release of endorphins when you dance compared to any other form of exercise. But that’s not all. There are cognitive benefits too: dancing not only boosts happiness it also improves creative-thinking patterns. From ballet and ballroom to belly dance and African, there’s a great choice of fun local classes to choose from. www.unlimiteddance.co.uk www.britishfusionbellydance.co.uk www.ballroomlatindance.wix.com/ballroom-and-latin www.andigwadance.co.uk

Skill-up From learning a new language and mastering your computer to taking up a musical instrument and getting the most out of your camera, new skills bring a new lease of life. Petroc college’s adult education courses are worth checking out if you’re keen to embark on a new hobby. www.petroc.ac.uk

Exercise your inner wordsmith Writing can be therapeutic fun and a great way to express yourself. If you’ve ever fancied plotting a bestselling novel, penning a play or experimenting with poetry, Arvon runs a programme of residential creative writing courses at its 16th century manor house in Totleigh Barton. www.arvon.org

THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

re:story 35

Spirit

Unleashing your creativity can be absorbing fun which brings a sense of satisfaction and in-the-moment spiritual bliss According to some psychologists, immersing yourself in something you really enjoy can induce a ‘flow state’ – that feeling when you are so involved in what you are doing, that you forget everything around you.

Get crafty

Sweet harmony

Activities like painting, drawing, pottery and sculpture are relaxing and rewarding hobbies that can lower your stress levels and leave you feeling mentally clear and emotionally calm. Making and creating gives your brain a break from your everyday thoughts. It also trains your mind to concentrate on details – a bit like meditation. The Plough Arts Centre regularly runs art and craft workshops.

Swedish research has shown that singing in a choir not only increases oxygen levels in the blood but triggers the release of happy hormones like oxytocin which is thought to lower stress and blood pressure. You don’t need any experience to join the La La Voices, a thriving fun community choir that meets at the Landmark Theatre in Ilfracombe. www.northdevontheatres.org.uk

www.theploughartscentre.org.uk

Creative cookery

Time to switch off

Want to be a creative hostess and home cook à la Nigella? The Two Tarts Cookery School at Bratton Fleming will get you rustling up delicious dishes in a fun, friendly and encouraging environment.

Need to turn off your busy thoughts for a few moments? Try meditation, mindfulness or yoga. At North Devon School of Yoga there are classes to calm the spirit, still the mind and relax the body, all the while toning and strengthening your core.

www.twotartscookeryschool.co.uk

www.northdevonyoga.co.uk

36 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

How YOU can help Your support – large and small – makes a real difference to the mums and children who need our help. Which form of support will you choose?

1. SHOP

at re:store and re:store Junior

2. DONATE

to our charity shops.

Your unwanted goods can find a new home and provide valuable income

4. BE A SUPPORTER AND GET THE EMAIL NEWSLETTER

3. FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK Search ‘Friendsof NDADA’ and like the Restore Charity Shop page for news and updates

We’d love to keep you up to date with events, activities and news.

To sign up, email admin@ndada.co.uk and put ‘sign me up to the newsletter’ in your header

5. VOLUNTEER IN OUR CHARITY SHOPS

Training is provided, so you can gain valuable work experience while having fun and meeting new people.

Pop in for an application or email alessia@ndada.co.uk for more information

38 re:story THE HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING ISSUE

6. BECOME A FRIEND OF NDADA Give women and children in north Devon your continued support by becoming a Friend of NDADA. That means setting up a monthly donation of a minimum of £3 up to £30. You’ll get the re:story magazine sent to your home, half of your monthly donation back as a credit to spend in any of our charity shops and receive regular updates through the email newsletter.

Simply visit www.justgiving. com/northdevonwomensaid to set up a regular donation.

7. MAKE A FINANCIAL DONATION • Via mobile: Donate any amount you want, whether £1 or £20.

For example, if you want to give £10, just text ‘NDAD40 £10’ to 70070 (you won’t be charged any additional fee for this service).

• Online at www.justgiving.com/ northdevonwomensaid (one off, or follow the steps to set up a regular donation).

• In cash at re:store.

Tax payers can Gift Aid the donation, which will give us an extra 25p from HMRC for every £1 donated.

• By cheque. Please make payable to NDADA and send to PO Box 141, Barnstaple Devon EX32 7YN. • Leave a gift in your will.

For information about this, please contact Jane Howe 01271 321946 or email admin@ndada.co.uk.

Saunton Sands Beach Braunton, North Devon

NOW OPEN! - ALL DAY DINING With its huge, spanking new smoker and grill, designed to create truly authentic flavours, Beachside Grill is a real treat for the taste buds.

The tempting menu takes you on a trip around the globe, with an emphasis on Americana and the Deep South.

‘Stonking steaks!’ says

Experience a cool and contemporary restaurant on the beach with a laid back, surfy vibe for lunch and dinner. A stone’s throw from the Atlantic Ocean, it captures the mood of beachside living at its best.

mag