re:story - Inspiring Women

The Inspired Issue - FREE

FAS H ION, FAM I LY, C U LTU RE, L I F E

Inspiring Women 2016 Meet the chosen eight and their inspirations

High rollers FAST AND FURIOUS ROLLER DERBY

Reinventing your future NORTH DEVON’S PATTERN CHANGING COURSE

Treasure hunting LOOK WHAT WE FOUND!

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What’s inside

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Inspiring Women 2016 Find out who made NDADA’s chosen eight women this year.

High rollers We get fast and furious with roller derby crew, the Devon Clotted Screamers.

Holding out for a hero Theatre maker Daniel Bye brings his heroic new theatre show to north Devon.

In focus: Back On Top Shining the spotlight on Catherine Cartwright’s inspirational artwork.

On the cover: Sandy Brown Designed and written by Salt Media Fashion styling by Alessia Sheldon Photography by Steve Nuth Photography; Guy Harrop Photography, Paul Delooze and Mikey Corker of ShownTellMedia Thank you Simone Kesseler and Alessia Sheldon for creation and direction; Brewer Harding and Rowe, Atlas Packaging, Boston Tea Party in Barnstaple for hosting the Inspiring Women launch, Wendy Harrison at Letterfest for framing the portraits, and magazine sponsors Petroc, Alison Prichard at Raphael Treatment and Therapy Rooms, and Nature’s Nutrition. Re:story is available free of charge at selected retailers, salons, children’s centres and waiting rooms, and is funded by our advertisers.

For copies or to advertise, email admin@ndada.co.uk or call 01237 472939. Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of North Devon Against Domestic Abuse, and products and services advertised are not endorsed by the charity or its trustees.

Welcome

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’m so proud to introduce this, North Devon Against Domestic Abuse’s third issue of re:story magazine.

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As the “Inspirational Issue” it centres around our Inspiring Women campaign which we launched at a hugely successful social soirée at Boston Tea Party on February 4. We aim to make it an annual campaign that’ll allow us to shine the spotlight on inspiring women in north Devon who are making exciting things happen.

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Our inspiration for creating the campaign and this magazine are the women and children who have experienced domestic violence. We support them through our work running the only refuge left in Devon, which is always full, and for which we receive no statutory funding.

Behavioural patterns

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Marcus Chapman talks to NDADA’s Tina, and discovers how she helps women reinvent their future.

A hand to hold

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Family law solicitor Andrew Woo of Brewer Harding and Rowe, on what happens when a woman experiencing domestic abuse engages a solicitor.

Outside the box There’s a creative meeting of minds going on between Atlas Packaging and re:store.

Treasure hunting Look what we found at the re:store shops ...

News See what happened at the blooming brilliant White Flowers launch.

How you can help Want to be a friend of NDADA?

You may not know that domestic abuse remains the highest level of reported crime in north Devon, eclipsing the figures for burglary and drug and alcohol offences. It’s a growing issue and last year North Devon Against Domestic Abuse helped 439 women and their children. We’d love you to join us as a supporter to help us continue this work – find out how on page 38. Enjoy the issue!

Susan Wallis CEO NDADA

Inspiring Women Meet our

We’re proud to launch NDADA’s inaugural annual celebration of north Devon women who are doing work which is especially inspiring - and the women who, in turn, inspire them See the original portraits by photographers Guy Harrop and Mikey Corker throughout February at Boston Tea Party in Barnstaple.

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Sandy Brown International ceramicist

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rom a studio overlooking the sea in Appledore, Sandy Brown is at the centre of British sculpture, but her creative journey began thousands of miles away in the Far East.

‘I left England when I was 19, answering an ad in The Times for co-drivers to travel overland to Australia. We set off in a VW camper van to drive across Europe and India to get there,’ says Sandy, ‘but I ended up in Japan, where I stayed for five years and discovered my creative self.

‘I worked in a pottery village for three years and met a Japanese potter, and we came back to England together to set up a studio. I developed independently of any system and was free to do my own thing and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since - playing with colour. In the early days, no one was doing much with colour, so I got a lot of recognition from the start.

And I’ve continued building on technical and creative challenges.’

After a career that has seen her working and exhibiting internationally, Sandy’s latest work is a huge and wildly colourful ceramic temple which is part of the Beyond Limits sculpture show at Chatsworth House in Derbyshire.

It features alongside works from other leading 20th and 21st century artists such as Damien Hirst, Barbara Hepworth and Anthony Gormley.

Sandy’s female inspiration?

‘Michelle Obama because she made an amazing speech at a girls’ school when she initially came to England as First Lady.

She recognised her power and used it to inspire the girls to think beyond what they believed was possible. I wish someone had said that to me when I was at school.’

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INSPIRING WOMEN 2016

Peony Knight UK Pro Surf junior and women’s champion

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t has been an incredible year for the 17 year old surfing star. In August Peony won the Women’s Open Boardmasters event, competing against a strong adult field, which she followed by being placed in the top 10 at a number of European Pro Junior events and winning the British Nationals U18 and women’s categories. As a result, the north Devon teenager is now both the UK Pro Surf Junior and Women’s Tour champ , which is an outstanding achievement for such a young surfer. ‘2015 has been endlessly exciting for me, a year to remember for sure,’ she says.

Peony’s family clearly has a deep love of surfing and travelling the globe, giving her surfing career one heck of a start. ‘I got into surfing when I was about eight, when my parents took me and my siblings on a year long adventure around Central America, where we all got completely hooked. I started competing in the UK competitions when I was 10, and a few years later I was competing at an international level. My summers as a child were spent camping with my family on a sand spit in Ireland, surfing perfect waves reeling down Easkey slabs’. Peony’s brother Taz is also a top UK surfer.

Peony’s female inspiration?

‘Carissa Moore has been an inspiration to me from a young age; she’s won numerous titles in the Women’s World Surf League and absolutely shreds. I admire her because her sporting success is based on her achievements as an athlete, not on some sexualised image. Unfortunately in the surfing world, females are regularly judged by how they look and I’ve never been interested in this side of things - I’d much rather let the surfing do the talking.’

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Kelly Smith Counsellor, Bideford College

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t was a challenging set of circumstances that led Kelly to a career in counselling young people: ‘I found myself pregnant at 21 and then before my daughter Freya was born, Scott, my partner died’.

Wanting to know the impact it would have on the baby to lose a parent while in the womb, Kelly did a child development course with the Open University, ‘which led to another course and eventually to a degree in psychology, and I realised it was the therapy I enjoyed most - which is why I did my counsellor training.

‘I always wanted to work with young people, both from having my own kids, and also knowing how much I would have benefited as a teenager from having someone to help me make sense of things.’

Now Kelly works at Bideford College with youngsters aged 11-17, ‘mostly doing one-to-one work with them around issues such as self harm and anxiety, and with boys (the conduct disorder kids in particular) on a project I’ve written called Becoming A Man. ‘It started when I was given a group of the six “naughtiest” boys to work with – I was blown away by them and the insight they had. It became increasingly clear that with just one dad between them, they didn’t know how to become men. They were very sad and their behaviour was all about bravado, confusion and self soothing through drugs and alcohol. They were the spark that made me realise how crucial this work with men is.’

Kelly’s female inspiration?

‘My girls Freya and Luna. Freya was the trigger for me doing this in the first place, and because I want them to live in a world where people are respectful of girls.’

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INSPIRING WOMEN 2016

Rosie Bracher Family solicitor

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his year Rosie celebrates ten years running her own family law practice in Barnstaple. ‘I cut my teeth doing domestic abuse work, and over the years I’ve honed my career to where I am now, working on complex cases where children are at risk, with care proceedings and with the local authority .’

It’s challenging work and she says, ‘you couldn’t do it if you couldn’t put it out of your mind, so I don’t take the awful things that I encounter home with me. It’s a skill to be able to detach yourself while still relating to your clients.

‘When people come to me they are usually at rock bottom – they’ve often lost everything, including their children.

So the starting point is: “The only way is up. From here on in, it’s you and me, and within these four walls, everything that goes on is confidential”.

‘I don’t just sit there as a lawyer and give legal advice, I try to be very practical and holistic, working with them to see where they want to be and setting out a strategy to achieve that ... and the most satisfying thing is when they respond.

‘I’ve rarely had a client who I couldn’t understand, and that includes things that other people would find very difficult, such as sexual abuse cases, but when you scratch below the surface and find out about their lives, they’ve nearly always been a victim themselves.’

Rosie’s female inspiration?

‘I chose Baroness Helena Kennedy because she was one of the first females I came across who was doing the kind of law that inspired me. I remember being 16 and listening to her talking about civil liberties on the radio, while I was in my bedroom doing homework. It struck a cord with me and throughout my career she’s always been in the news, doing difficult human rights cases.’

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Louise Arscott Probation officer

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busy mother of four, Louise is on the frontline in the probation service: ‘My job involves managing high risk offenders, supporting and challenging them to avoid them causing further harm, so we prevent further victims,’ she says.

‘Day to day, that means working with people both in prison and the community, creating a sentence plan to help them not get into any more trouble, and focusing on issues such as sex offending, domestic violence and substance misuse.’ It can also involve getting her clients involved in work or volunteering, and of course, working with them to address the reasons why they offended in the first place.

‘Many people I see have had problems throughout their lives,’ says Louise. ‘The youth offending teams and schools do a wonderful job, but it would be great to see more resources in place to increase work being done with children at a younger age. We can often identify who the children are, even when they are at primary school, and we know the struggles they are having, so it would be great if there was more support at that stage. Children often show people that they are not okay through their behaviour, but they sometimes get branded as naughty - which leads to anger and disengagement.’

Louise’s female inspiration?

‘My grandmother, Ann Tucker, (pictured when she was in the WAAF in her early 20s), because she taught me that when people are displaying negative behaviour, there is usually a reason behind that.

Always offering a different perspective, she taught me not to make judgements about people, and how to be compassionate.’

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INSPIRING WOMEN 2016

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Louise Miller Marshall Principal, Pilton Community College

fter graduating with a degree in modern language, Louise didn’t start teacher training until her late 20s. ‘As a fourth generation teacher, I always thought that I’d teach eventually, but I didn’t anticipate falling head over heels in love with it in the way that I did. It was the most entrancing experience I’d ever had,’ she says.

Working in both leading and challenging schools in London and Hertfordshire, it was a desire for a higher quality of life for her young daughter that brought her to Devon five years ago.

Getting the principal post at Pilton Community College - an International school and specialist languages college – was a perfect marriage, and she was delighted when the school won the title of International Secondary School of the Year in 2014, in which the British Council praised the college for producing ‘outward looking and forward thinking global citizens’.

Other successes? ‘Changing the uniform - which certainly wasn’t on my list when I got here, but which was driven by the students,’ she says. ‘They wanted a higher standard for themselves.

‘It was always a nurturing school – it’s in the DNA here – but as a staff and student body we’ve also started to really push the ambition of the students, which is coming through in the academic outcomes – which are getting better every year.’

Louise’s female inspiration?

‘My grandmother was an amazingly strong woman. She was the headteacher of a very small primary school in Wales and always told me that I could do whatever I wanted in life. She made me believe in myself.’

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Wendy May DJ

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endy’s love of music started early, and the vivid memories still make her smile as she recalls, ‘The Ballad of Davy Crockett that wafted from our old gramophone (the needle was held down by a tuppenny), and my mum singing along to Vera Lynn in the kitchen.’

Wendy left home at 16 and says, ‘music saved me from boredom and poverty.’ Filling her life with gigs and DJing, in the 80s she joined the punk ska band The Boothill Footappers which regularly featured in John Peel sessions.

Wendy went on to start a club night, Wendy May’s Locomotion, at Kentish Town’s iconic Town and Country Club and says, ‘it was amazing; we regularly pulled in over 2,000 clubbers while legends like Madness, Elvis Costello and Paul Weller were regulars.’ Highlights came in 1987 when Wendy co-presented the last series of The Tube for Channel 4 with Jools Holland and Paula Yates, and became the only female DJ on London’s Capital Radio.

You’ll still find Wendy behind the decks at London’s 100 Club, as well as at the Palladium Club in Bideford each month where she puts on her Boom Boom Room night.

‘I’ve been DJing for over 30 years and I’m never happier than when I’m dancing about behind the decks.’

Wendy’s female inspiration?

‘My mum had such a tough childhood with a dad who was abusive and an alcoholic. With everything she went through and no real support, it’s amazing that she raised us how she did. Her hard work and loving commitment are virtues that have helped me hugely.’

Wendy became a single parent when her son was five and says, ‘there is no way I’d be where I am today without my mum’s strength and inspiration, she was a real beacon.’

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INSPIRING WOMEN 2016

Wendy Harrison Owner, Letterfest

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warehouse in the centre of Barnstaple is an unlikely spot in which to find a £1m online business that sells worldwide, but Letterfest is a local success story that’s slightly under the radar.

What started as a kitchen table business eight years ago, with designer-maker Wendy selling her own designs and prints, has grown to be one of NotOnTheHighStreet.com’s biggest partners.

Wendy’s kitchen table has been long outgrown, and her team of 15 now creates a large range of personalised gifts on-demand from its north Devon studio. ‘We work with local artists and craftsmen, using a range of traditional techniques such as stone engraving and line illustration in a contemporary way to create items such as wedding venue portraits, engraved pebble keepsakes and typographic art prints,’ she says.

A percentage of Letterfest’s profits go to the North Devon Hospice.

Wendy’s female inspiration ‘Mandy Sutcliffe of BelleAndBoo. com is a friend of mine from college who lives in Bristol,’ says Wendy. ‘I moved to north Devon from London (where I’d been a designer at Topshop) for a change of life and was looking for a way to make a living out of creative work. At the time, Mandy was selling her drawings on Etsy and she introduced me to the idea of retailing your own art online.

Without her I wouldn’t have set up Letterfest and she’s still the person I get support and creative inspiration from.’

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High rollers Fast, furious and fun, roller derby has hit the big time.

Catherine Jones got her skates on and went to meet the Devon Clotted Screamers. Photos by Paul Delooze

‘Their skill on skates is awesome, their speed terrifying and they’re having the best time ever’

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here’s a breeze as something flashes past, then a loud “whump” followed by a cheer. Turning round, the tangle of limbs and wheels on the floor in front of me unravels at epic speed, before leaping back up and flying off again.

Roller derby is a game where everyone falls over – you just have to get back up really quickly. Forward is better; back is bad. Jez explains the theory behind falling well. Otherwise known as Jezbian, she is one of the Devon Clotted Screamers, an eclectic group of, it has to be said, slightly mad women who get a kick 16 re:story THE INSPIRED ISSUE

out of strapping on a pair of roller skates and racing in a pack round a circuit at high speed while trying to physically block opposing team members from pushing past.

Roller derby started in America in the 1930s but has since had a revival and become the country’s fastest growing sport in the last 10 years. The players skill on skates is awesome, their speed terrifying and, judging by the huge smiles and laughter, they’re having the best time ever.

The “theatre” that surrounds roller derby creates a huge buzz. Team members adopt character names and wear wild outfits. Some matches have a theme – and there’s always music.

‘You can psych yourself up and skate as someone else,’ says team member Claire, ‘so the meekest person can put on their war paint and go out and smash people.’

‘We get people to think about what they’d like their name to be as they train,’ she adds. ‘It could be after a skating style, or something funny that happens.’

And Claire’s name? ‘I’m Booby Trap,’ she says, with a huge grin.

myself in the first week. But the others made me laugh when I failed and I doggedly kept going.’

Spend time talking to these women and it’s clear there’s some powerful emotional stuff going on. ‘It’s about the personal space,’ says Karla. ‘You have to get very close to people, touching people – and that breaks barriers down.’

‘It’s also something about the sheer physicality of it, how it makes you understand your body,’ adds Claire. ‘And it doesn’t matter what you look like. I’d never have worn Lycra, but now look at me – booty shorts and tights! There’s a real, “don’t give a shit”

The Screamers hold training sessions at the North Devon Leisure Centre every Tuesday evening. As a full contact sport, play is fast and aggressive, so players have to hit a series of skill levels before they can compete. ‘Some skated when they were teenagers, some are complete novices and are terrified – it really doesn’t matter,’ says Karla, aka Whippety Split.

‘I’d never have worn Lycra, but now look at me – booty shorts and tights!’

‘Before I started I’d done a bit round the park but could only turn in one direction - left. All I wanted when I came here was to be able to cross over legs on a bend, skate backwards and make a right hand turn.’ But now she flies. An asthmatic who says she can hardly run a few metres, Karla can happily skate a marathon – literally. ‘There’s no feeling quite like going round a track fast - so, so fast. It’s really exhilarating.’

Along with the obvious sense of empowerment there’s a camaraderie, and not just among team members - the roller derby love is spread wide, encompassing other teams, refs, timekeepers, and the people who come to watch.

‘I didn’t take to it at first,’ admits Claire, ‘and I hurt

attitude – but for all the right reasons.’

Taking part has had a dramatic effect on some women. ‘The first few times I played I was floor fodder,’ says Verity, aka V-Rex, recounting how her first experience led to a ripped shoulder ligament.

Verity came to roller derby after a long and difficult THE INSPIRED ISSUE

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SPORT

Derby talk Get up to speed with the lingo... period in her life. She trained.

She dealt with the injuries. Then she knew she’d reached a life changing moment when a photo was taken of her leading the pack in a derby. ‘I absolutely hate having photos of me – always,’ she grimaces, ‘… but that one … that one’s my fave photo ever.’

If you’re looking for a life affirming image of a strong, gutsy female, there’s one just about to skate past now. ‘This has been about finding myself, realising life is about having a giggle, that nothing is a problem,’ says Verity.

‘For the first time, I actually feel like the old me again.’

Want to learn to play roller derby?

The Devon Clotted Screamers are always happy to accept new recruits – and the first session is FREE! DevonClottedScreamers devonclottedscreamers@gmail.com 18 re:story THE INSPIRED ISSUE

BOUTFIT - any special clothing, make-up or face paint worn by skaters other than their standard team kit, often used to create a derby persona FRESH MEAT - new recruits PANTY - a stretchy helmet cover that is used to designate the jammer (with a star) ZEBRA - nickname for a referee RINK RASH - a burn injury that occurs when flesh is dragged against a rink surface SKATE OUT - the introduction of both teams to the audience by announcing the skaters names as they skate round as a team with their banner (often accompanied by their skate-out song) SUICIDE SEATS - the seating mats closest to the track which carry a risk of having a skater or ref land on you!

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A R T S & C U LT U R E

O R E H Holding out for a

A new theatre project called Tiny Heroes based on real stories of real people in north Devon and featuring re:store, is coming to Beaford Arts before going nationwide. Catherine Jones spoke to theatre maker Daniel Bye about the making of a hero

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hat makes a hero?

There’s been a visitor to north Devon over the past few months, who has been pondering this question.

Daniel Bye is an award winning, Leeds-based actor and theatre maker, who had an idea for a new production called Tiny Heroes. Dan wanted to shine a light on real life heroes who through actions big and small have made things better for others, bringing their tales to life through compelling storytelling, magical light puppetry and local scratch choirs.

His idea caught the attention of north Devon’s rural arts organisation Beaford Arts and The Bike Shed Theatre in Exeter, who invited Dan to make the piece in Devon before it heads out on a national tour.

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Over a two week period, Dan explored north Devon, meeting and talking to local people, asking questions, gathering thoughts and stories.

In his search he met with various groups and individuals of all ages, from environmentalists to schoolchildren, shoppers, teachers and volunteers.

One day he’d be wandering around a food market, the next, coppicing in a woodland – and at every point he’d be listening and observing.

On one occasion Dan visited the re:store shop in Barnstaple, which gave him one of his storylines.

He heard about a woman (Dan called her Penny) who had suffered domestic abuse but who, through being encouraged to work some hours in the shop, was able to rebuild her life. At first she didn’t have

the strength to face the public, so her first task was preparing clothes behind the scenes. It was a major turning point when, eventually, she started working on the shop floor.

Could Penny be described as a hero? ‘Say the word “hero” and we think of the military, or firemen; but isn’t that a narrow definition?’ asks Dan. ‘The story of Penny demonstrates that sometimes just going through your day to day existence is an act of heroism. Just the simple act of going on living. The things that people take for granted are so difficult because of something else in your life. So they take on a structure of heroism.’

He adds, ‘This young woman may not have been able to find the strength if she didn’t have the support provided by the shop manager – the confidence and trust that person showed.’

‘Bringing tales to life through compelling storytelling, magical puppetry and local scratch choirs’ The story of Penny was weaved into a first draft and a scratch performance was held in Exeter in November last year.

The first official version of Tiny Heroes will premiere in north Devon at the end of February and it’s a performance that will continue to evolve. Penny’s story looks set to feature alongside animal rescuers, organ donors, even heroes from the Lynmouth flood disaster 60 years ago. The show will change depending on what emerges from each town or city where it’s performed.

And as for finding what makes a hero, it may be that Dan never reaches a definitive answer. It’s going to be fun finding out though.

Tiny Heroes will be performed at The Bike Shed Theatre in Exeter on February 16-20 and through Beaford Arts at Swimbridge Jubilee Hall on February 25, The Pavilion in Atherington on February 26, and Lee Memorial Hall on February 27.

Tickets available from the relevant websites. www.bikeshedtheatre.co.uk www.beaford-arts.org.uk From top: Daniel Bye, projection from the show and a performance of Tiny Heroes.

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A R T S & C U LT U R E

In focus: Back On Top

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atherine Cartwright’s series of original prints, To Have and To Hold, explores the concept of being held and the fine line between benign safety and threatening security. This piece, entitled, Back On Top, was displayed at Barnstaple’s White Moose Gallery and made such an impression with the NDADA team that you can now view it at the re:store shop at 39-40 Boutport Street, Barnstaple. To order a limited edition print with 60% of the cost kindly donated to NDADA, pop in and ask for a manager. Catherine will be screening the film Refuge Manifesto at Exeter Phoenix on March 7 and 9.

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PEOPLE

Behavioural Patterns Blame

Abusive

We’re all slaves to patterns of behaviour – including some that stop us achieving happiness. Marcus Chapman met the inspirational Tina from NDADA who helps women in abusive relationships change their patterns of behaviour – and in doing, change their life

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ina has been running North Devon Against Domestic Abuse (NDADA)’s Pattern Changing course in north Devon for nearly 14 years.

Her commitment and passion comes from a very personal place, as at the age of 21, Tina found herself in an abusive relationship she had been stuck in for years.

For her own safety and that of her two daughters Tina knew she had to get out, which she managed with the help of friends and family. With the kids tucked under her arm she escaped and moved to a different area, and says: ‘it was a huge step at the time but looking back I wouldn’t change a thing’.

Once Tina had made the leap, life started to change very quickly for her. She spotted a job advert in the local paper for an outreach worker at north Devon Women’s Aid (now NDADA) – and got it. Now, 15 years and many qualifications later, Tina has helped countless women across the county through Pattern Changing.

‘The course means so much to me,’ she says. ‘It’s all about women realising they’re not to blame for their situation, and helping them blossom to reach their full potential. The support and powerful bonds that women forge on the course is also huge for them, as they draw so much strength from each other.’

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What is Pattern Changing?

NDADA ran its first pattern changing course back in 2001 and since then it’s become a crucial tool to help women across the region.

The main aims of the course are to help women break the cycle of abuse and change patterns of behaviour which can lead to returning to the partner or entering into another abusive relationship.

The 14 week programme focuses on the woman and her power to change the course of her life, aiming to help women understand the abuse and its impact on the entire family. It also sets out to help the individual have awareness of her behaviour patterns, set realistic goals and teaches key techniques so she can develop new, healthy patterns of behaviour.

Fear

‘I’ve always carried a bag of pills around with me, as taking my own life seemed my only Depending on funding levels there are seven or those women are changed forever.’ for the first time in ages those eight courses escape. available eachNow, year in Barnstaple, For more information on Pattern Changing contact Bideford and Ilfracombe. All locations are NDADA aren’t direct on 01271 079.bag.’ pills in370 my kept highly confidential to ensure the safety of participants on the course and NDADA provides an environment which helps women feel secure.

Tina has developed and fine-tuned the course over the years, using all her teaching experience to make the course as accessible as possible. ‘It’s brilliant watching the evolution of women on the course. At first there can be a lot of nerves and very limiting beliefs on how they see themselves, but how they change and develop can be amazing.’ Tina says.

‘I’ve always carried round a bag of pills as taking my own life seemed my only escape. Now, for the first time in ages, those pills aren’t in my bag’

www.ndada.co.uk

Want to talk?

If you’d like to talk to someone about issues raised in this article, please call us on 01271 321946 (office hours), e-mail: admin@ndada.co.uk or visit: www.ndada.co.uk Other helpful services include: Splitz Domestic Abuse Support Service: 0345 1551074 24hr National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000247 Childline: 0800 1111 In an emergency, call 999

Marcus, one of the re:story writing team was lucky enough to be invited to the last session of a recent course, which is a day of celebration with lots of cake, big hugs and mugs of tea.

‘It’s no exaggeration to say I was bowled over by the positive emotion in the room,’ he says. ‘It was incredible to feel the impact the 14 weeks had had on women from all backgrounds and ages. New lifelong friendships had been forged and life changing decisions made. One woman said to me, “I had a ‘bingo’ moment after about four weeks. I’ve always carried a bag of pills around with me, as taking my own life seemed my only escape. I see it isn’t now, and that I’m in control of my life, and for the first time in ages those pills aren’t in my bag.”

Nerves

Witnessing the impact first hand

Medication

‘Another commented, “You gain so much strength from other people on the course, and you realise you’re not alone. It’s the most beneficial thing I’ve ever done.” The lives of

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a

on

oti

Em

iend’s r F

PEOPLE

Full circle:

Debra was in an abusive relationship for over 20 years when her daughter tried to commit suicide. Debra knew something had to change: ‘I was so scared but knowing what my daughter was going through, finally made me act.

We had to sneak out of the house while my husband was away and get to the doctors. And by pure coincidence and a wonderful stroke of luck, I bumped into a friend who saw the danger we were in and helped us to safety and a place in the NDADA refuge.’

While at the refuge, Debra was told about Pattern Changing, and says, ‘the course was a revelation – it completely opened my eyes to a whole other world that existed and made me realise just how controlled and trapped I’d been for all these years. The halfway mark was a real turning point for me, when I started to forgive myself for what had happened to me and my children.’

At the end of the 14 week course Debra knew her life and her children’s lives would never be the same again. She says, ‘I felt so clearly that I was on a different journey. My kids mean everything to me and I knew they couldn’t grow in life without me embracing what I’d learnt. My children now have a much better understanding of relationships, and I’m so proud of them. With everything they went through, it’s incredible to see them happy now.’

‘I feel so passionate about the course and the impact it had on us. We were torn apart, but we’ve recovered’ Following Pattern Changing, Debra decided that she wanted to help other people in similar situations and she now helps teach Pattern Changing and works as a relationship and lifestyle coach across north Devon. ‘I feel very passionate about spreading the message of hope to everyone, as nobody needs to suffer, especially when the answer is so simple.’

www.debrasimmons.co.uk

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To

~

One of the starkest examples of the impact the Pattern Changing course can have on women’s lives is the story of Debra Simmons, who says that the course saved not just her life, but her children’s as well

~

Debra Simmons ol Kit

Want to help a friend who you fear may be experiencing domestic abuse, but not sure how?

~

Sue Wallis of NDADA shares some pointers for managing the conversation in a way that’s most helpful

1

Don’t judge or blame your friend for the situation they find themselves in, and assure them that they’re not alone.

2

Give your friend the time and space to talk and don’t push them. Make yourself aware of the support available in the community and be ready to share this when they’re ready.

3

Don’t attempt to get between your friend and the abuser, as talking to the abuser may put your friend at greater risk.

4 5

If your friend has suffered physical harm, offer to go to the hospital or GP with them (the same goes for solicitor appointments).

Don’t push your friend to leave the relationship; this is a decision that they may come to in time. It has to be their decision, however difficult that is for their friends and family.

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F E AT U R E

A hand to hold Solicitor Andrew Woo leads the family law team at Brewer, Harding and Rowe’s Bideford office. Re:story asked him: what happens when a woman who has experienced domestic abuse engages a solicitor?

W

e help a lot of people who are victims of domestic abuse,’ says Andrew, ‘and this often includes issues around children and money – the most emotive issues of all.’

Born and bred a Brummie, Andrew has lived in north Devon since 1994, and says, ‘over the years I’ve discovered a passion for an area of work I didn’t necessarily expect to be doing for all of my career and end up specialising in’.

So how does he get involved with cases of domestic abuse? ‘A typical scenario would be that a victim becomes known to the police, a Domestic Abuse Service such as North Devon against Domestic Abuse (NDADA) or Children’s Services Social Services, who then advise the victim that they need legal advice.

‘A lot of victims put up with abuse for a long time before they do anything about it. You can understand why, because they often have no independent source of income, mouths to feed and have been socially isolated so they no longer have family or friends to turn to.

‘Their call might come through to me or to any one of my colleagues in the family law team: Emily Souch, Jessie Allen, Nigel Treasaden, Kevin Wigley or Rod Ball, at which point an appointment is made and the client then gets free initial advice. >>>

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‘What was once seen as “just a domestic” is now taken extremely seriously’

‘We explore whether or not they might be able to get Legal Aid, as we are one of the few practices which still has a Legal Aid contract in this locality. I then explain what the options are, which could include protecting themselves and their children via an injunction.’

Andrew will help the client in preparing the injunction application papers and then represent them in court to get an order to prevent further threats or violence.

‘After the immediate situation is made safer with an injunction, we look at longer term issues such as what will happen to the children so they can have a meaningful and safe relationship with both parents. If the parents can agree, so much the better. It should be the last resort to go to court over children. Financial matters also need sorting out as they may have a house, other assets (such as pensions) or debts together.

’You can get Legal Aid in order to apply for an injunction provided you qualify financially,’ says Andrew. ‘You can also get Legal Aid for financial or children matters if you can prove that domestic abuse or child abuse is a relevant factor in the case.

‘Occasionally, if the domestic abuse is not acted upon and the children continue to be exposed to it, then the local authority can get involved and the children removed. In such cases, I can either represent the children or one of their parents as an accredited Children Panel Solicitor. Having a solicitor who is a specialist in this particular area of family law is important.’

‘The order is then served on the perpetrator which could last for six months, and if they breach that order, the police can arrest them.

‘What’s interesting is how the attitude of the police has changed over the years; what was once seen as “just a domestic” is now taken extremely seriously and treated in exactly the same way as if you were assaulted in the street by a stranger. It’s much better than when I started working in this field 20 years ago.

‘Another positive development has been the research which has shown the effect on children of domestic abuse. Previously, the general approach in court proceedings was “you could be a crook, or you could be violent, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a bad dad“. However, research has shown that even at a very young age children can be affected by domestic abuse between their parents and the effects stay with them for a very long time. It is therefore now a factor which can be relevant to the court deciding upon the appropriate arrangements for a child.

Do you encounter many happy endings? ‘Yes, and there are different types. It’s refreshing when you get a case [not an abuse case] where after a period of going through divorce negotiations a client tells me they are going to give their relationship another go, and in this society of instant gratification, I find such cases particularly heartening.

‘You also get some happy stories where after taking the Building Better Relationships course, perpetrators of domestic violence understand the impact of their behaviour and manage to change. Even if the couple doesn’t get back together, they can improve their relationship. That’s essential because ideally, parents need to make decisions together for a very long time – the children will need both of them when it comes to girlfriend/boyfriend problems, graduations, weddings and all manner of issues well into their adulthood.

Sadly, that is not always possible and I always try to make what is, by definition, a very stressful and emotional time, a little less difficult.’

1. Who can get Legal Aid? It’s available to those who can prove financial eligibility and who need to get advice or take action to protect themselves or the family. It’s also available to deal with financial or children issues if the client can prove domestic or child abuse, e.g. a criminal conviction on the part of the perpetrator, a medical assessment or a stay of 24 hours or more at a refuge.

2. What’s an injunction?

An injunction is to stop someone from doing something and in cases of domestic abuse can keep the perpetrator out of the family home, away from the victims and protect from harassment, threats or violence.

Brewer Harding and Rowe deals with all legal matters including family law and has offices in Barnstaple, Bideford, Ilfracombe, South Molton and Lynton. All conversations with clients are confidential.

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Picture courtesy of North Devon Journal www.northdevonjournal.co.uk

F E AT U R E

Outside the box Think of cardboard and automatically think of boxes? Think again, as one local business has forged a creative partnership with re:store that’s pushing the boundaries of what good old cardboard can be

T

he in-store mannequins and window displays of the re:store shop have been a talking point for many of the customers over the past two years, and a lot of this comes down to the brilliant partnership between re:store and the creative team at Atlas Packaging.

Jason Sharman, managing director of the independent Barnstaple-based business, has worked closely with re:store manager Alessia Sheldon (pictured) to produce a range of bespoke displays for the shop – out of regular corrugated cardboard.

Jason’s team’s imaginative use of this everyday material has resulted in a 3D cardboard dinosaur prowling the shop, stylish presentation mannequins, and a winter window with crafty card snowflakes.

Part of the success of the re:store shop is the eyecatching way the products are displayed thanks to Alessia’s background in fashion, and Jason is proud of the way Atlas has been able to support NDADA with innovative solutions.

‘Supporting re:store was an opportunity to show the outside world that we’re about more than cardboard boxes. While we’ve supplied window dressings and mannequins to the store, it’s also given us the opportunity to showcase our work and show other customers what is possible,’ Jason explains.

‘The versatility of corrugated cardboard is incredible.

We’re able to use our talented design team to take the material further’

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F E AT U R E

‘The versatility of corrugated cardboard is incredible.

People see cardboard and think of a box, but we’re able to use our talented design teams to take the material a lot further. Creating unique displays is just one of the ways we are pushing the boundaries.

By continuing to work with re:store, our creative brains are given the chance to try new things, which helps us to develop our business range too.’

As you’d expect, Atlas produces a wide range of packaging using corrugated cardboard for postage, storage and display purposes – but it also loves to do exciting and different things in the community. It’s been involved with Barnstaple Carnival, the buzzing OceanFest in Croyde and the wacky Ilfracombe Birdman competition where brave souls take a running jump off the pier in a vain attempt to fly in their self-made crafts.

able to inject our own creativity to develop new innovations. We’re working with exciting clients on new projects all the time.’

The creative team loved the challenges that designing for re:store posed, giving them a completely different set of goals and a very unique brief to provide original solutions to everyday retail problems including storage and organisation solutions for the donations in the re:store stock room.

Jason adds, ‘working with Alessia has given us a great way to show high street retailers how to use an ecofriendly, recyclable material in an eye-catching and engaging way. It is great to see the quality of product on display in re:store, and helping NDADA to make a tangible difference to people’s lives is a wonderful feeling.’

Jason and his team know the importance of working together, and he points out how it’s the backbone of the company’s ongoing success. ‘By working closely with our clients and understanding their needs, we’re

the ‘The creative team loved challenges that designing for re:store posed’

Atlas Packaging Ltd is an independent packaging manufacturer based at Roundswell in Barnstaple. www.atlaspackaging.co.uk

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RE:STORE

What does a charity shop have in common with Selfridges?

Treasure hunting

They both sell Versace, Prada and Chanel! The stock at re:store and re:store Junior stores change all the time. Here’s what we’ve found recently.

Show us your #RestoreFinds on Facebook (Restore Charity Shop)

Gold Versace heels and smoke tint vintage aviator shades

GAP grey tweed jacket with mixed cashmere scarf

Fashion parties

W

hy not have your own private shopping party with exclusive use of our shop space for your next celebration? You can decorate for your special occasion, and have your own DJ or music. Take advantage of our town centre location and bring your own drinks.

You can even support re:store further, by having guests bring donations on the night instead of gifts for the host.

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Sunshine stripe tulip skirt from Tu with red and white breton top and orange flower necklace

junior

rose Boho ld and go ce neckla

Cute boots and hand knits

Bally leather tote with silk scarf and jade bangle

Range of quality denim

Toys, games and books for little interiors

Brand new wetsuits in time for summer

Gentlemen’s velvet smoking jacket and purple stripe shirt

re:store, 39-40 Boutport St, Barnstaple, EX31 1RX. Tel. 01271 377798. re:store Junior, 79 Boutport St, Barnstaple, EX31 1SR. Tel. 01271 327996.

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Blooming brilliant

Images by Steve Nuth Photography

NEWS

North Devon came together at Barnstaple Museum in November to celebrate the launch of the White Flowers campaign.

I

n order to raise awareness of domestic violence, 4,000 white flowers were hand crafted by the community – and beyond – to create an art installation in Barnstaple Square. Along with a glass of bubbles and some speeches, came the opportunity to view an exhibition of poignant images of the first refuge in London, taken by documentary photographer, Christine Voge.

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News more

Flower painting workshops Remember the beautiful handmade ceramic flowers which were included in the White Flowers display? Well we’re giving you the opportunity to transform them into stunning soap dishes at our painting workshops on March 9 and 11 at Treyhill, Westleigh.

Email Simone@groovees.co.uk for more information.

re:store to open in Bideford Thanks to supporters’ generous donations, we’re excited to announce that our third re:store shop will be opening in Bideford this February. Register for our newsletter at admin@ndada.co.uk for updates.

We’d like to say... a big thank you to Colorseum for the amazing headdresses (left) at the White Flowers launch. Colorseum is an award winning salon based in Bideford. With outstanding professionalism and a creative flare, its team of highly trained specialists offers hair, beauty and aesthetic treatments to suit everyone.

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How YOU can help Your support – large and small – makes a real difference to the mums and children who need our help. Which form of support will you choose?

1. SHOP

at re:store and re:store Junior in Barnstaple

2. DONATE

to our charity shops.

Your unwanted goods can find a new home and provide valuable income.

4. BE A SUPPORTER AND GET THE EMAIL NEWSLETTER

3. FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK Search ‘Friendsof NDADA’ and like the Restore Charity Shop page for news and updates.

We’d love to keep you up to date with events, activities and news.

To sign up, email admin@ndada.co.uk and put ‘sign me up to the newsletter’ in your header.

5. VOLUNTEER IN OUR CHARITY SHOPS

Training is provided, so you can gain valuable work experience while having fun and meeting new people. Pop in for an application or email alessia@ndada.co.uk for more information.

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6. BECOME A FRIEND OF NDADA Give women and children in north Devon your continued support by becoming a Friend of NDADA. That means setting up a monthly donation of a minimum of £3 up to £30. You’ll get the re:story magazine sent to your home, half of your monthly donation back as a credit to spend in any of our charity shops and receive regular updates through the email newsletter.

Simply visit www.justgiving. com/northdevonwomensaid to set up a regular donation.

7. MAKE A FINANCIAL DONATION • Via mobile: Donate any amount you want, whether £1 or £20. For example, if you want to give £10, just text ‘NDAD40 £10’ to 70070 (you won’t be charged any additional fee for this service).

• Online at www.justgiving.com/ northdevonwomensaid (one off, or follow the steps to set up a regular donation).

• In cash at re:store.

Tax payers can Gift Aid the donation, which will give us an extra 25p from HMRC for every £1 donated.

• By cheque. Please make payable to NDADA and send to PO Box 141, Barnstaple Devon EX32 7YN. • Leave a gift in your will.

For information about this, please contact Jane Howe 01271 321946 or email admin@ndada.co.uk.

Penny Blower Image consultant

01769 560497 | 07828 888387 www.pennyblower.co.uk penny@pennyblower.co.uk Colour, style, wardrobe detox and development, personal shopping, presentations, new you, workshops and more… Just ask! @PennyBlower

Colour, Fashion and Fun

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LEARNING FROM HOME All of the distance learning courses are full level 2 certificates provided at no cost* to the learner. You can study in your own time and at a pace convenient to you. Depending on the course, you will have up to 20 weeks in which to complete your studies. Your tutor will support you through your course with feedback and guidance via e-mail and our online assessment platform.

• Care and Management of Diabetes

• Principles of End of Life Care

• Prevention and Control of Infection

• Common Health Conditions

• Dignity and Safeguarding in Adult Social Care

• Understanding Autism • Equality & Diversity

• Preparing to Work in Adult Social Care

• Information, Advice or Guidance

• Working with Individuals with Learning Disabilities

• Principles of Team Leading

• Safe Handling of Medication in Health and Social Care

• Principles of Customer Service • Principles of Business Administration

• Nutrition and Health • Awareness of Mental Health Problems • Principles of Dementia Care

NEW e-learning course for 2016 First Steps in Counselling & Self-awareness

£20

Further Information Please call 01271 852354 or visit our website *There is no cost for the course, however, if you do not complete inside the agreed time scale there will be a charge of £100.