So for me when it comes to discrimination, it’s interesting because of the way I look. I look very white, you know, I’m blonde, blue-eyed; people will call me Aryan looking which, I mean is offensive, but whatever. I don’t look outwardly really Jewish.
As a Jewish person, yes, I’m white passing. I shouldn’t say as a Jewish person - as a Jewish Ashkenazi person I’m white passing. Um, but for me, I really, I don’t identify with people who are Caucasian or white at all because when my grandparents were living in Europe and they were Jewish, there were the Poles and there were the Jews and they were not the same people. You know like the Jews were not white, they were never considered white.
up. So like one thing happens and I kind of brush it off, but then when it’s kind of this consistent thing, especially because people look at me and assume I’m white, but don’t know that there’s so much more to that. And that I think is kind of what frustrates me.
I’ll talk about an interesting time I had to kind of downplay that I was Jewish. I went on a medical mission trip in Guatemala last year, which I absolutely loved. It was an incredible time. I volunteered with an organization that was Christian. A lot of the mission trips that go to these kinds of countries are Christian. I really wanted to go and I loved what they were doing and who they were serving. So I went but I didn’t tell anyone I was Jewish.
I really, really downplayed it. And though it was at first because it was a Christian organization and it kind of was more religious, I didn’t want to feel like I was the odd one out...it’s just, I wouldn’t want to make someone uncomfortable.
I always kind of want to be careful in that area, I just kind of felt uncomfortable. Like if I were to say that I was Jewish, than everyone would be like, Oh my gosh, you’re Jewish on this like Christian trip. And it was weird because I really wanted to go on this trip and I had an incredible experience, but at the same time, I feel like I wasn’t able to be my full, authentic-self being Jewish because there was this predominant other religion that I wasn’t sure how they were going to react. You know, you don’t know who’s antisemitic just by looking at them. You know what I mean?
In general, I think the microaggressions take a toll because they kind of build
And the other thing, is there always is that kind of fear that someone maybe has a certain kind of negative connotation of Jews. I guess
And so a part of me was like, okay, so maybe I can say I’m Jewish, but how will people take that? Because yeah, maybe they will be totally fine with it, but the trip I was on was also a cohort of people from mainly Texas, um, and a couple of people from California as well. And just not knowing a lot about their population, I didn’t know what kind of views that people had on Jewish people. So I just didn’t tell anyone. In the end I kind of felt guilty about it because it’s such a huge part of my identity, but that was a time that I just didn’t want to mention it.
SS, grandaughter of Holocuast survivors, age 23
