Salesian Griffin Summer 2018

Summer 2018

FEATURING PAST STUDENT, BEST SELLING AUTHOR AND AWARD WINNING PARENTING EDUCATOR, MICHAEL GROSE

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018

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CREDITS All correspondence and editorial content please address to: Marketing and Development Office Salesian College Chadstone 10 Bosco Street Chadstone, VIC 3148 publicrelations@salesian.vic.edu.au Editor: Suzie McErvale Editorial Coordinator: Nikita Rodrigues Proofreader: Dr Mavis Ford La Trobe University Front Cover: Courtesy of Michelle Pragt Graphic Design and Printing: DMC Group Photographic Contributions: Dave Tangey Ignite Online Michelle Pragt Sonia Kirkman Suzie McErvale Robert Prezioso/AFL Media

Editorial Contributions: Robert Brennan Fr Frank Bertagnolli Suzie McErvale Nikita Rodrigues Mark Linden Kamila Bielinski Geoff Stewart Steven Loonstra

ON THE COVER

Best-selling author and award winning parenting educator, Class of 1973 past student Michael Grose.

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SHARE A STORY

We seek out past and present students who inspire and encourage us to strengthen our Salesian community.

Whether they have impacted thousands of people or just those nearby, what unites them are their foundations and values. If you have a story to share, or know someone who does, we want to hear from you. Email publicrelations@salesian.vic.edu.au

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CONTENTS Page 4

From the Principal Page 6

From the Rector Page 7

New Pedagogical Framework Page 8

Virtual College Honour Roll Page 9

2018 Captain’s Message Page 10

Riley Collier-Dawkins Page 11

Sheneth Fernando and the Oakleigh Connections Program Page 12

The Parenting Journey

IN THIS ISSUE There’s a certain kind of responsibility that connects us to one another when legacies are handed down from a previous generation. Today, we witness past and present students who carry on these responsibilities through a variety of ways, donating time and skills for the good of others.

Best-selling author and award winning parenting educator, Class of 1973 past student Michael Grose, is a man who has dedicated his time and talents to growing and developing the knowledge of others around him. Pairing theory to practical application, twenty years on Michael continues to genuinely listen to the concerns of parents, decode theoretical models and formulate tailored advice to support families “to teach, rather than do” in an effort to raise independent, resourceful kids. He acknowledges the changes and pressures of today’s society and how to best equip kids with the skills to navigate the pressures of the online and offline world.

In a refreshingly straight shooting interview, Michael shares how being open to change and learning is key to not only remaining relevant in a fast paced world, but crucial to excelling professionally and developmentally. He delivers insight into his own child-rearing strategies and how parenting is a forever journey, a relationship that requires commitment and considered effort across all ages and stages of the life cycle.

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Adopting the philosophies, teachings and legacy of St John Bosco remains a constant across the generations at Chadstone, no matter what age or stage. It’s the fabric that connects.

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Suzie McErvale Head of Development and Marketing

Respectful Relationships Initiative Fighting Fires Page 20

Scouting for Success Page 21

2018 Sports Awards Night

CONNECT WITH US

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FACEBOOK.COM/SALESIANCOLLEGE

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@SALESIANCHAD

2018 Reunion Highlights Community Births, Deaths and Marriages

WWW.LINKEDIN.COM/IN/SALESIANCOLLEGE-CHADSTONE SALESIANCOLLEGECHADSTONE

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018

FROM THE PRINCIPAL Robert Brennan Principal

Earlier this year I wrote a reflection about remaining true to oneself and never changing who you are for the sake of others, because no one can play your role better than you can.

the pressures of the online and offline world. Over his career, Michael has dedicated his time and talents to growing and developing the knowledge of others around him, building a legacy that echoes our values at Salesian College Chadstone.

My reflection in this Summer 2018 edition of the Griffin picks up on this theme, highlighting the wonderful young men in the Salesian College community who do exactly that, taking the opportunities provided here at the College to develop fully, remaining true to themselves. This is an incredible achievement for these young men as they try to establish their true identity whilst battling to fit in and navigate the maze of adolescence.

In my role as an educator, I regularly witness students exhibiting behaviours unconnected to their character, behaviours that appear to be in conflict with their value base, and not reflective of who they are as people. These behaviours tend to be encouraged when good young people are influenced in this way to impress their peers by being something they’re not.

As with our current students, our past students continue to serve our community in a variety of ways. In this edition of the Griffin, our cover story features best-selling author and award winning parenting educator, Class of 1973 past student Michael Grose.

Michael acknowledges the changes and pressures of today’s society, and how to best equip kids with the skills to navigate

I am well aware that kids spend their youthful years discovering who they are, where they belong, and who their friends are – it’s a time of exploring and experimenting. However, our greatest challenge is to encourage them to remain true to their values and who they are in this period of turmoil. The students who are able to navigate these tough times, and stand up against societal and peer

pressures to remain true to themselves are the boys who tend to leave the greatest legacy.

We have numerous boys who fall into this category, and none more so than Sheneth Fernando, who is featured in this edition. For six years he has quietly gone about his business of supporting the Oakleigh Connections Group during his lunchtimes on Fridays. Boys like him don’t look for, or receive, a lot of publicity; however, the impact they have can be quite profound. He is one of many boys who ensure that they use their skills and talents, giving of themselves to make this community, as well as the wider community, a better place. Further, these boys stand out in my mind, as often they do what they do without great fanfare. There is no attempt to big-note themselves; rather they often prefer to work behind the scenes.

Our job, which I believe we do well, is to encourage all our boys to stay true to the values their families and the school espouse, and to leave a legacy of making a difference wherever they go. Working with our families through the trials of adolescence, we support our boys, praise their good decisions, question the poor ones and, most importantly, continue

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“Our job, which I believe we do well, is to encourage all our boys to stay true to the values their families and the school espouse, and to leave a legacy of making a difference wherever they go.” to remind them of the values we hold true. We remind them that neither the successes nor the failures in their lives will be true measures of who they are or how successful they will become. We bring them to understand that their selfworth or success will be measured by the way they develop as people through life’s experiences and, more importantly, how they live out their lives. It will be through relationships, and through the love and care they show each other that their true worth will be measured.

We challenge the validity of faking their way through life. We alert them to the consequences of trying to pretend to make others happy. We remind them that keeping up a pretence can be exhausting, physically, emotionally and spiritually, and that playing roles and juggling masks in an attempt to hide their true selves can lead to unbearable pressures and the possible loss of self, and never discovering their true identities. We set about encouraging them to identify their true selves, removing masks, stripping down the defences they may have built up over the years, so that they can develop into the people they have the potential to become.

Loving ourselves should be easy because of our parents’ unconditional love, and even if this is not enough, knowing that God loves us purely for who we are, a love that knows no bounds, and that he will always be with us, then loving ourselves becomes easier and we can begin to trust ourselves. The importance

of this can never be underestimated, as no matter where we go, or who we are with, there is one certainty in life. We will always have to deal with ourselves, make decisions for ourselves and determine our own paths in life. Good decisions come from a love of one’s self and a true confidence in the decisions we make.

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018

FROM THE RECTOR Fr Frank Bertagnolli SDB Rector

past there have been several Synods.

On this occasion, many young people aged 18 to 30 from various parts of the world have been invited to attend and to speak. I look forward to reading the recommendations, and eventually the statement that the Pope will make.

As a follow up from this Synod, the Catholic Church in Australia is preparing to hold a national assembly called “Plenary 2020”. Again, many Catholics will be invited to attend and to speak at this assembly.

Salesian College Chadstone, like all Catholic schools, aims to prepare young people to live their faith in the world.

A catholic education should provide leaders in all fields of endeavour with a solid foundation of Gospel values, such as integrity, service, commitment, loyalty, care and respect for others and the environment.

Dear Friends, As I write this reflection, the Synod of Bishops is being held in Rome on the topic “Young People, the Faith, and Vocational Discernment”.

A synod is a gathering of Catholic representatives called by the Pope every few years to discuss an important issue for the Catholic Church and formulate recommendations. These recommendations will be incorporated by the Pope in a ‘Papal Statement’ that he makes at a later date. In the

At the Synod in Rome there is also a Salesian representation, not only in Bishops and Religious Leaders, but particularly in young people.

The Plenary 2020 will be chaired by Archbishop Tim Costelloe of Perth, a past pupil of this College!

For more than 60 years, Salesian College has prepared young people to take on leadership positions in the Church and in society. The Catholic education offered at Salesian has enabled many students to discern their vocation in

life, as the theme of the Synod reflects.

We know of many past pupils who have joined the leadership of the Church as priests, both in the service of the diocese and in religious life, while others have served in the field of politics, the armed services, the medical professions, the legal system, the police force, sport, education and overseas volunteering.

We are all very proud of the endeavours and the successes achieved by our past pupils. Past issues of this magazine and our annual Hall of Fame ceremony have highlighted the most significant achievers in these various areas.

This continues a tradition that began with Don Bosco and was well established by the pioneering Salesians at the College, and by successive generations of staff and students. One field that in recent years has suffered a lack of candidates is that of past pupils who accept the challenge of becoming priests and religious members. There are many reasons and causes for this situation, but we cannot dismiss this issue lightly.

The call to service and leadership as priests is still valid; the challenge is to have the courage to respond and make a commitment. The reward, as the saying goes, is indeed out of this world!

With best wishes and God’s blessing on all our past pupils.

For more information on the Synod of Bishops 2018, Google: “Synod of Bishops 2018” and “Plenary 2020”.

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NEW PEDAGOGICAL FRAMEWORK Kamila Bielinski Director of School Improvement – Pedagogy Nikita Rodrigues Publications and Communications Officer

a Learning and Teaching School Improvement Plan to be rolled out from 2017 – 2020. An element of this plan is the introduction of a new Pedagogical Framework, designed to support teachers in the delivery of quality evidence based teaching and learning practices, ultimately improving student learning.

In 2017, noted educational experts Trevor Gordon and Dianne Pekin from the Australian Council for Educational Research (ACER) conducted a review on Salesian College Chadstone on behalf of Catholic Education Melbourne.

Using ACER’s rigorous National School Improvement Tool, Gordon and Pekin examined key College documents, inspected classes and spoke with staff, students and parents to gather insights into our teaching and learning practices.

Their findings provided the College with a great deal of positive feedback on our current practices, while also recommending key improvements to our pedagogical practices.

Informed by Gordon and Pekin’s report, Salesian College Chadstone developed

Our new Pedagogical Framework is based on the evidence and findings of leading educational theorists, including Professor John Hattie and Professor Dylan Wiliam, indicating that visible learning strategies enhance the role of teachers, who become evaluators of their own teaching. Professor John Munro’s research and techniques in this area have been proven to drive positive student outcomes in the areas of literacy and reading comprehension, and will inform our Pedagogical Framework at Salesian College.

Formative assessment measures provide practical strategies for improving teacher practice and student achievement, in order to adapt teaching accordingly. Developmental skill focused models of assessment recognise the importance of identifying what the student is ready to learn, at their point of readiness.

A combination of interdisciplinary curriculum approaches, Project Based Learning (PBL) and Problem Based Learning (PrBL) will be incorporated into our new Pedagogical Framework.

Our Years 7-9 Project Based Learning Overlay (PBL) is a rigorous, relevant and engaging educational model that promotes self-directed learning and develops real world skills. Problem Based Learning (PrBL) at Year 10 and Year 11 will utilise a case study based approach to encourage students to apply their learning to real world scenarios.

Led by Mrs Kamila Bielinski (Director of School Improvement – Pedagogy), Ms Carolyn Ellul (Director of School Improvement – Curriculum) and Mr Chris Pye (Director of School Improvement – Staff), our teachers dedicate a two hour meeting every Wednesday afternoon to improve our learning and teaching practices. In 2019 we will be implementing project based learning pilots, which will inform the development of our Pedagogical Framework over the next five years.

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018

VIRTUAL COLLEGE HONOUR ROLL Suzie McErvale Head of Development and Marketing

The official virtual College Honour Roll of Salesian College Chadstone records, acknowledges and celebrates standout individuals throughout school history who have left a positive impact during their time on College grounds.

to navigate and browse through categories and profiles while on a Reunion Tour.

In collaboration with Ignite Online, a customised virtual College Honour Roll was developed under the Community section of the recently released Salesian College Chadstone website. Designed as a gateway for past students to share information and fill in gaps of recorded history, key features of the Honour Roll build include custom search ability, fast navigation, accessibility and an interactive functionality. Custom designed icons were incorporated to create a modern feel, while facilitating a user friendly browsing experience.

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Designed for optimum mobile compatibility, the Honour Roll can be viewed anywhere, anytime, regardless of the chosen device. The dedicated four screen, real time interactive display at Bosco Campus allows alumni

Categories currently featured on the College Honour Roll include: Dux Athletics Captains Basketball Captains Cricket Captains College Captains Football Captains Soccer Captains Sportsman of the Year Swimming Captains Tennis Captains Hall of Fame Inductees

The structure of the virtual build allows profiles to expand as the database grows. Where comprehensive details about the Inductee are known, the Inductee’s page will accommodate for a full profile view, where their College achievements can be viewed alongside a biography, images and corresponding articles of interest.

Take a trip down memory lane and browse the Honour Roll via www.salesian.vic.edu.au/honour-roll/ and/or submit known information to www.salesian.vic.edu.au/community/add-to-the-honour-roll/ to build our records.

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2018 CAPTAIN’S MESSAGE Mark Linden 2018 College Captain

Over my senior years at Salesian College, our school has evolved from a place of learning into a home that has encouraged myself, and many others, to become great men. As I have matured, my appreciation for Don Bosco’s philosophies of education, loyalty and care has only continued to grow stronger. It is astounding that one man’s actions, originating from a small Italian town in the early 1900s, could play such a crucial role in a young man’s life 100 years later. It is truly a profound and humbling legacy to have left behind.

It is this very idea of legacy that drives people to do their work to the best of their abilities. This difficult act of leaving a legacy is often associated with one that produces an exclusively positive change within a community. However, many forget that it is also possible to leave behind an undesirable legacy, one that people look back upon and criticise or hide in shame. As College Captain of the Class of 2018, I strived to ensure that my cohort left a positive legacy at the College, rather than a detrimental one.

In my position of leadership I focused on supporting students through proposals to implement improvements to the academic culture within the College.

These changes included revision

lectures for the Year 12 students and a website for past students to become accessible as tutors to current students.

In addition, as College Captain I strived to accurately represent my cohort and the school, helping others in any way possible. In doing so, I hope I have contributed positively to the College, whilst leaving a memorable legacy on behalf of the Class of 2018.

As a student at Salesian College, one’s legacy does not need to start with a position of leadership. Again, harking back to Don Bosco’s philosophies, do the “ordinary things extraordinarily well.” Completing simple tasks to a high standard can assist in establishing a positive legacy for yourself. Indeed, this is easier said than done. This act is a challenge for everyone, including myself. However, it is one of the most important steps in leaving a memorable legacy at the school. Personally, I found giving things a go and taking advantage of the opportunities Salesian provided was a way in which I could practise this philosophy. Whether I was participating in soccer, hockey or debating, I put in the effort for my team and myself.

This theme can further extend to demonstrating compassion in our community through small gestures,

such as donating to charity, volunteering for an event or taking on a social justice cause on behalf of others.

Whether you are a student or not, I encourage everyone to accept this challenge and attempt to perform ordinary tasks “extraordinarily well.” In this way you are assisting others within your community, while leaving behind a positive legacy yourself.

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018 Doerre as a young recruit strong in agility, overhead and contested marking, he is predicted to “hit his stride a few years into his AFL journey.”

Fox Sports commentator Matt Balmer acknowledges that clubs drafting Riley “wouldn’t be thinking for the now, but for the future.

The tall inside midfielder is still raw in terms of his development, but he fits the modern day prototype of tall inside midfielders.”

Despite the media’s attention climbing in the lead up to the draft, Riley is determined to stay focused on the game.

“The media coverage has definitely taken some getting used to. But ultimately, the reports don’t faze me. I focus on what I need to do in football, and aim to not take too much notice of it.

I’m trying to embrace the experience of the draft, as it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It can be nerve racking, as there’s a lot of uncertainty in the lead up to the draft. I’m willing to do what it takes if I’m selected, even if that means moving interstate to compete.”

Riley is thankful to those who have supported him as a player.

Photo: Robert Prezioso/AFL Media

RILEY COLLIER-DAWKINS Nikita Rodrigues Publications and Communications Officer

“I’m trying to embrace the experience of the draft, as it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

Standing tall at 193cm, Year 12 student Riley Collier-Dawkins (Oakleigh Chargers U18 midfielder) is shaping up to be a first round pick in the upcoming 2018 AFL Draft in November.

Guided by Salesian College Advisory Board member and former test cricketer Bryce McGain, Riley cemented his status

as a young up-and-comer to watch in the recent TAC Cup Grand Final. Although the Oakleigh Chargers were ultimately unsuccessful against the Dandenong Stingrays, Riley was considered one of the best players on the field, achieving 19 disposals (11 contested), five inside 50s and one goal.

Recognised by ESPN draft expert Chris

“I am grateful for my parents, who always look after me and ensure that I am taken care of away from the field, enabling me to do my best on the field.

My coach, Leigh Clark, has also been instrumental in my development. He has always encouraged me to demonstrate my talents and abilities within the Oakleigh Chargers team. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Salesian has also assisted in my development as an athlete. My teachers have always been supportive and understanding of my workload when things got busy for me. I train three nights of the week with my team, but I also like to train two additional nights individually. This time commitment is pretty full on, and I have appreciated having teachers who are able to assist me in maintaining a balance between football and other parts of my life.”

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SHENETH FERNANDO AND THE OAKLEIGH CONNECTIONS PROGRAM Nikita Rodrigues Publications and Communications Officer The Oakleigh Connections Program is a tradition that has truly stood the test of time, and one that grows stronger with every passing year. Since its humble beginnings in the 1980s as the ‘Kew Cottages’ Program, each year students and staff devote their Friday lunchtimes to welcome Oakleigh Connections visitors with intellectual disabilities to our school.

Aiming to break down the stigma of disability within our community, the Connections Program provides our guests with the opportunity to share lunch and play a game of football or Frisbee with our students and staff.

Guided by Mr Peter Bermingham (who has facilitated the program for over 12 years), many students return to participate when they can. However, one student in particular stands out in his dedication to the program.

Year 12 student Sheneth Fernando has volunteered with the Connections Program for the entire six years of his education at Salesian College. “As a student with a disability myself, I feel a connection with our visitors. I return every Friday to show compassion and loyalty to them,” reflects Sheneth.

Mr Peter Bermingham reflects, “Over the past six years, like clockwork, Sheneth would arrive every Friday lunchtime to welcome our guests from the Connections Program. It was incredibly reassuring to know that he would be there every week, regardless of how many other students attended.”

Reliable and trustworthy, Sheneth has been a role model to his peers, and he encourages other students to consider the valuable qualities volunteering with the program develops.

“Volunteering with the Connections Program is a great experience. Our

visitors appreciate the compassion and respect you demonstrate to them and, in turn, volunteering builds your own confidence.

Participating in the program has developed my own leadership skills. Mr Bermingham encouraged me to explain the value of the Connections Program to our Year 7 students, and 10 Year 7s have now volunteered to join the program.”

As he was presented with an Omnia Award in 2017, Assistant Principal, Mrs Nadia Knight, reflects on Sheneth’s valuable contribution to Salesian College Chadstone during his time here. “Sheneth Fernando is someone who demonstrates a true willingness to help others, without expectation of any reward. When we told Sheneth he

would be receiving merit points for his good deeds, he refused to accept them, believing he does not need recognition.”

We wish you all the best for the future, Sheneth.

Your compassion and dedication to helping others are a credit to yourself and your family.

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018

THE PARENTING JOURNEY Suzie McErvale Head of Development and Marketing

Best-selling author and award winning parenting educator, Class of 1973 past student Michael Grose is visibly progressive in thinking and practical in action. Some 20 years post taking a risk on a research opportunity and stepping onto the parenting stage, he today prepares the final chapter in his soon to be 11th best-selling book.

In a refreshingly straight shooting interview, Michael shares how being open to change and learning is the key to not only remaining relevant, but excelling professionally and developmentally. He delivers insight into his own child-rearing strategies and how parenting is a forever journey – a relationship that requires commitment and considered effort across all ages and stages of the life cycle.

In 2003 you published the landmark birth order book, ‘Why First Borns Rule the World, and Last Borns Want to Change It’. As the youngest child yourself, when did you realise that extending thinking around raising kids was your mission?

It was about ‘88, ‘89, which goes back to a time when I met your previous Principal, Chris Ford. I was a primary teacher of about 12 years’ experience trying to get ahead. So I went to Monash University and did a Masters of Education to improve my opportunities within the Education System. I met a guy by the name of Professor Maurice Balson who used to run a subject called Individual Psychology. He was a charismatic character, and as luck would have it, he was given a grant to open up his subject to the public, which saw him create a Parent Teacher Education Centre, which he staffed with his students. He made a six week parenting program offer to students. Rather than do four years of courses, you could work for him and run his program and conduct research. So I took up that offer. Immediately I was immersed into teaching kids in my day job and running parenting courses at night.

I really enjoyed the experience; it gave me a great taste of the parenting sector. I turned my project into a book, which was later published, called ‘One Step Ahead’, in 1991, and it really went from there. I was then torn between teaching and parenting. It came along at a life stage when I wasn’t all that enamoured with teaching anymore, and so I branched out on my own and took a risk – so that’s purely how that happened. It was by chance – and I took it. I guess that’s been my life; when something comes along, you take it.

‘Lawn mower parenting’ (the new ‘helicopter parenting’) is an interesting topic in today’s childrearing space. How does a parent balance the natural desire to improve the next generation without falling into this trap?

It’s very difficult. It comes with the territory of family size.

The smaller the family, the harder it is to let go. We know that the average number of kids that parents have now is two. If you go back a generation (my generation), we had three, my parents’ generation had four, my three kids have two and one and will probably stop at that. From a theoretical perspective, the smaller the family the more likely it is parents know everything that goes on in a child’s life. When you’ve got four, five, six, seven or eight kids the parenting moves from an individual endeavour to a group endeavour. You get four or more and suddenly you don’t know everything which is going on in your children’s lives and you tend to delegate a little bit. In large families the older siblings take a quasi-parenting role and often look after the younger ones.

Families have naturally always been large. If you go back a couple of centuries a) No birth control b) You needed to have three or more kids so they survived, so they could look after the next generation. The very nature of small families means it’s hard not to know what’s going on in their lives and it’s hard to let go. Coupled with that, we are now having kids at an older age. When I left school, the peak child bearing age was 20 – 24. Now it’s 30 – 34, so that means that you’re getting your life going and then suddenly you have

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018

“Raise them (kids) as if you have six. So that means step back a bit and try not to know everything that is going on. Give them a bit of space. Kids need to take on some responsibility...”

kids, whereas when you’re having them younger, you’re in a life stage where they’re intertwined with what you’re doing. Kids just fit in with work and life. Now we are spending more time in training and education than before, which delays the start of a family. We’re choosing how many kids we have and when we want to have them, so there’s a hell of a lot of control before kids enter the equation. Suddenly, when you have kids (and you can see it today) there’s so much monitoring going on, so much is put on parents to do a bang up job to keep kids safe. Once you’ve had them, you’re not going to let go – you try to control the whole thing.

So, ok, if you do have two kids, what do you do?

I always say, raise them as if you have six. So that means step back a bit and try not to know everything that is going on. Give them a bit of space. Kids need to take on some responsibility, and so do parents and teachers.

There’s a workshop I run with Primary Schools that’s an interesting one.

The scenario is, you’ve got a school

camp. What are the responsibilities of teachers, parents and kids? Whose job is it for an 11 year old to pack the bag? Parents might say it’s their job.

Not really. If you’re in a big family, it’s a child’s job, and so there’s this whole intermixing of responsibilities. In reality, kids give many of their responsibilities to parents, and then parents put those responsibilities onto schools and say, “You need to talk to the kids about alcohol, need to talk about drugs, talk about issues.” So it’s an interesting one; it all gets mixed up.

That’s something we often speak about at Salesian. It’s the three areas of conversation between parent, child and school that are so crucial.

It is. I guess in some ways, it’s who drives the conversation that is important.

Kids need to have the opportunity to drive the conversation, and sometimes those conversations need to be with teachers, and parents need to facilitate that and not jump in, and vice-versa.

I think time is an issue, and this is a generational thing. I get this a lot from speaking to parents who say, “That’s all very well Michael, but I just need to

have this problem fixed. It’s easier for me to do up their shoelaces when they are young, and when older, sort out a problem they have at school, so I know it’s all done and tied up.” Time is the enemy of effective parenting.

If you go back a generation when there were five or six kids in a family, the parents didn’t know if a child was having some difficulties at school, and so the kids sorted it out themselves.

There was a little bit more time to sort things out, and so a lack of time, I see that as an issue.

With 38 years married to Sue and three children later, what have been the biggest changes in child raising that you have observed since the birth of your own children?

The preciousness of kids. Technology is also a massive issue; it’s a game changer.

It’s an issue I never had to deal with. We had to keep our kids safe with Stranger Danger; now it’s how to keep kids safe online as well as offline. In some ways there are two worlds that kids have to navigate. That’s a big game changer in mental health as well, and we are

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starting to see that with a very anxious group of kids, which is partly caused by technology. We’re also starting to see a group of kids who do so much of their learning and communication through technology. We haven’t quite got that balance right.

The other change is that it is so much an international global world. I don’t know if it’s just my cohort, but so many of my friends have kids who have spouses or partners who come from overseas, so that’s a real game changer, with 25 – 30 somethings that I am seeing, that a generation ago we didn’t have. How do you prepare kids for that? How do you prepare for that as a parent? For example, my son lives overseas and has a Swedish partner, so he migrated for family reasons as opposed to economic reasons.

One of the biggest changes I have seen (and this is a big frustration), is parents refusal to allow kids to take risks.

It’s wanting to get the absolute best possible outcomes for kids, which has led to a very competitive world. I’m glad I’m not teaching now, because schools are very competitive, and parents are very competitive in their bid to get an advantage for their kids. I guess a generation or two ago we were a bit more laid back. I guess economically we were pretty well off as well; cultural reasons come into play too – so there have been quite a few shifts.

From a parent and professional perspective, the biggest topics when I started revolved around kids’ behaviour. It was “How do I get my kids to behave? How do I get them to behave well? I can’t get them to do what I want.” I spent most of the 90s writing and running seminars about that. Now it’s completely different. There’s been a massive shift toward the need to promote good mental health habits in children and young people “How do I make my kid resilient?” Mental health is such a big issue now, which wasn’t so much back then.

Or was it that the awareness wasn’t there?

Yes, there was no awareness. I’ve lived most of my life being anxious, and I’ve only learnt the last five to six years how

to manage that and how to deal with it.

I’ve got a couple of kids who are quite anxious, and I never addressed that as a parent. So now, mental health is on the table for my kids, and I think it needs to be on the table – and it is. The research that is coming out of places such as beyondblue is starting to normalise.

People are much more accepting of it, so that’s quite a shift, professionally.

Thank you for sharing so honestly.

In your latest book, “Spoonfed Generation”, you speak about the value of raising independent, resourceful kids. What have been your most effective lessons to teach your own kids to become independent?

The first would be resisting the temptation to do everything for them. To teach, rather than do. It could be as simple as taking a few more minutes when they are young to show them how to tie up their laces, always erring on the side of coach or a teacher rather than a doer for your kids.

And that’s a constant conversation. The strategy there is to have a conversation constantly with your partner (if you have a partner) around how you’re going to manage this whole notion of getting kids to become quite independent. I think that’s an important one.

The second, we had a range of benchmarks which we followed. I suppose I didn’t realise it at the time but we had them. Many families do. In primary school, for example, a benchmark was: we make your lunch, but we don’t put it in your bag. You put it in your bag yourself. In secondary school you make your lunch.

In primary school you got a little bit of pocket money. In secondary school you got a lot of pocket money, but you had to manage your money well. So, don’t come and ask for money to buy lunch, because you’ve been given money to manage that.

We did it in quite practical ways.

Family life means it doesn’t always work out perfectly, so that the kids would often borrow from each other, which I found healthy in many ways. They need to take responsibility for their own relationships.

Another thing we were quite strong about was the fact that if you mess up, you make up. This happened with my wife and

myself. If something happened between ourselves and the kids, you had to sort it out, you wouldn’t ask someone else to sort it out.

Those sorts of approaches were quite strong, even through to adulthood when it became apparent that one of our kids would always use us a vehicle to talk to the other one. “How is Sam (their brother) going?” and we’d say, “I don’t know, you make a phone call and find out.” So, we were quite strong with teaching the kids to become independent, to do things for themselves as much as possible, and that varied with each child.

There are some good tips there.

Yes, (laughs) there were a few. We had very much a strong sense of family. We used to run family meetings. Not so much about management, but all through primary school and secondary school we would get together each fortnight and give kids pocket money and we’d talk about what was happening, what was coming up in the two weeks ahead and discuss any issues that may have cropped up. To create a strong sense of family (which we were quite passionate about), we did three things: 1. Created Family Rituals. We made sure that kids turned up to family meal time. Even when things got really busy with homework and after school activities they still had to come to the table, have a sit down and talk. The TV was always off.

2. We made sure we spent some oneon-one time with the kids. I still do this as an adult. I’ve got a daughter who is 30 who lives just down the road, and I pop in to her place quite often for lunch, just with her and her two little ones. That’s just something we have always done.

It’s so embedded culturally. I’ve got another daughter, who lives in Torquay, who realised she hadn’t seen me for a while because she’s been away, so she’s arranged to see me with her kids for a catch up. We do that 3 or 4 times a year so we still enjoy one-on-one time but with a couple of toddlers close by.

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018

3. We made sure there was down time as well – and we still engineer that to a degree. Downtime is when not that much is happening, so kids can catch up with each other, and we catch up with them and just chill.

on Studio Ten once a month now, where I come up with issues with them.

That’s been really good. Then there’s talking with schools and being relevant speaking with parents in what I like to call School Land.

So we did work at those things a little bit to keep the family reasonably strong and together.

We just surveyed schools (we have about 800 schools with whom we work), asking, “What are the issues?” There might be an issue that pops up that I don’t know about, so I’ve got to find out about it, relational aggression for example. We’ve a list of about 38,000 parents for whom I write, it’s not all one way. With any industry, whether you’re in education, hospitality or whatever, you’ve got to keep up with industry norms. I’ve got a radar for it and you get pretty good at it as time goes on. Coming up with new ideas was easy when my kids were young, because by and large one of the issues about raising kids is, that if one parent is experiencing anxiousness with kids, you can bet your bottom dollar there are many others experiencing the same problems. There are some issues now that crop up from time to time that are completely new and interesting. Funnily enough, I will be sitting down with my team shortly, and we will be coming up with some of the topics we need to be addressing over the next 12 months.

That sounds very balanced.

Yes, we tried to. You never really balance, but you’re always trying to. It’s about priorities and what’s important.

When my son moved overseas at the end of last year, we got the whole family together and hired a place by the beach for three or four days, and we created some downtime. I learnt from a researcher in New York, Ellen Galinsky, who did some research about what it is that makes busy families strong, and she found those three things, and I put those learnings into place.

I know these things worked and are embedded, because I can now see my own kids putting those practices into place, each of them in their own way.

What a compliment!

You’ve been in the parenting education space for 20 plus years and authored 10 books. Your energy for learning and continual development is extremely obvious. How have you remained relevant across your years as a parenting educator?

That’s a really good question. The media often keeps you relevant. It’s a challenge for me, but I’m doing it differently now.

While they can be quite intrusive, I’ve found that over the years the media has been really good, because I’ll get a phone call. “You know, there’s a research project in the paper that’s come out of the UK about x. Can you comment about it?” That helps to keep me on top of issues.

I was on the “Today Show” for three years, “Saturday’s Experts” on 774ABC radio for about five years, and appear

Social media is certainly a great way to stay up to date.

You also need a mindset for learning so that you’re not doing it the same ol’ same ol’ way. The way our business is operating now, we’ve shifted our model from “me the expert”, and we’ve created relationships with people who are very relevant within the education scene. So I‘ve got a technology person, a health and wellbeing person and someone doing great work in the autism space. I’m also working with another person, Jodie, with whom I am writing my latest book, and we’ve been presenting together. She’s really up to date with what’s happening and who’s doing what and tends to get out there more than me. There are many different ways of staying relevant, but you need the mindset to stay fresh.

Yes, absolutely, and not everybody has that mindset.

Yes, that’s true. When you get to a certain age, you can wonder if you are still relevant or not. About 8 years ago I saw someone in my sector give a presentation to parents and teachers, and it was bit sad, because he was giving such old information, and I just thought, “You are so over that.” If I ever get like that, it’s time to hang up my microphone and put away the mouse. And that does happen from time to time, so you need to address staying fresh. I did take about four months off and went to Italy three or four years ago to freshen up, and just recently returned from seven weeks in Scandinavia.

What advice do you have for today’s students keen to succeed?

Don’t lock yourself in to any one field. I say this because of my own experiences of work and looking at the experiences of my three adult children. What you think you may get into at the end of school may not be what you end up doing in a few years’ time. I think it’s important to have a core subject area, but be really practical about how you apply that. I’m convinced that a student leaving school today will enjoy a number of careers. I think it’s really important to develop marketing and entrepreneurship skills as well, being able to market yourself and work for yourself (that may be where you go). People I see who succeed have a flexible set of skills, but also know how to market themselves. I’d advise every kid to buy their domain name right now.

From a brand perspective, I suppose it comes back to understanding self.

Yes, I agree. It’s hard to know that when you are in school; that’s the issue. I’ve seen that with all three of my kids. Each of them took a gap year, travelled and worked. One of my children left his course after a gap year but ended up doing what he was going to do, but it took him 7 years to get there. The other two are now doing different jobs from when they started out. It wasn’t until they got out into uni and then out in the world that they found out,

“I know these things worked and are embedded, because I can now see my own kids putting those practices into place, each of them in their own way.”

‘Ah, that’s what that’s about’ that they understood these things. I see this with my kids’ generation and the kids who are at school now (which is different to my generation). They have time to mess up. Perhaps women don’t, given their biological clock, but because current trends indicate you’re only going to have a couple of kids, and the peak child bearing age is 31-34, you can see your 20s as an opportunity to do some exploration. Make sure you get the job you want, spend some time travelling – do something completely different. Australia is a small place.

We’re very lucky here, so get out and try different things Absolutely. I think it’s also about setting that reset button after Year 12. It’s such an intense period of education, that taking some time out in the world and seeing it from a different perspective can prove valuable.

Yes, I agree, because there is that recovery time. They may be driven by parent(s) of a generation similar to mine (they’re a little bit younger than me), from whom the message was, “You’ve got

to get moving, you’ve got to do this quickly.”

The reality is, you’re not going to have to marry and settle down for quite some time. There is an economic argument that you need to have a house, so you need to get saving for a house at 21, 22 or 23 years old. These kids are going to be living until they are 100, and they’re going to be working until they are 70, there’s no doubt about that.

The other skills they need to have are relationship skills. All the conversations I’ve had with my own kids around all their different jobs get back to people, so I think it’s really important that you feel comfortable working with people.

Go work in a pub, so you have to get on with people. You don’t learn that on social media; you actually learn that when you’re face-to-face. I now employ people. People skills, they stick out like the proverbial if you don’t have them.

If I can transport you back to your College days, what were your standout memories at school?

The best thing I ever did was Debating.

School for me was enjoyable. I was

pretty good at it, but not brilliant. I was decent at sport, so that provided status and some avenues for me to meet other boys, which was a great experience.

Back to debating, our little team really did well. We finished second in a State Catholic school final in Year 11. That was really good for me. So if there’s any one activity, it was debating. It gave me a lot of confidence, belief and opportunity.

Because we did really well we thought, “Gee, we can match it with Xavier College.” And we did.

School is the conduit. It’s really important, but it’s not the be all and end all. I got a good solid education, good solid grounding. I had appreciation for authority. I was well treated. I wouldn’t have become a teacher if I thought school was awful. It’s really hard to appreciate school when you are in Year 12. You can’t see the benefits until you leave.

Thank you Michael, I really appreciate your time - it’s been a pleasure speaking with you.

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RESPECTFUL RELATIONSHIPS INITIATIVE Nikita Rodrigues Publications and Communications Officer

As a lead school in the Victorian Government’s Respectful Relationships Initiative, Salesian College aims to provide the framework to teach our students vital communication and interpersonal skills, to help students understand and manage their emotions, feel and show empathy for others, develop resilience and create positive gender norms.

In 2017 we recognised and actioned our responsibility to assist our students in developing the necessary skills required to reach their full potential and engage meaningfully in all areas of their lives.

We are working in the prevention space, guided by clear evidence that challenging gender stereotypes and promoting gender equality helps to address gender based violence. With rigid gender stereotypes identified as key drivers in domestic violence, challenging these stereotypes and promoting gender equality can have a huge impact on reducing gender based violence in our community.

In 2018 we embedded the Respectful Relationships Initiative within our curriculum, in teaching topics such as emotional literacy, positive coping, problem solving, stress management and positive gender relationships. These topics are intended to build a baseline skill level for our boys, equipping them with the qualities required to lead fulfilling lives.

These classroom topics have been brought to life through initiatives such as our Year 10 Respectful Relationships Forum with Sacred Heart Girls’ College.

Organised by Year 10 leaders from both colleges, the forum focused on topics they identified as most relevant to them, such as mental health, alcohol/drugs, the media, gender diversity and family

upbringing. Year 10 student Adam Stone reflects, “The most important thing I learnt at the forum is that trust is the number one quality you can have in any relationship”.

Developing our students’ problem solving and emotional intelligence skills does more than create a safer community. These skills also assist young Australians in the transition from full time education to full time employment.

“Building enterprise skills (such as problem solving, communication and teamwork) through education and training accelerates the transition to

full time work by 17 months”, writes the New Work Reality study, Foundation for Young Australians 2018.

We need to start a conversation about Respectful Relationships in our homes and workplaces, not just our classrooms.

Help us to create a culture of respect throughout our community.

Visit www.education.vic.gov. au/about/programs/Pages/ respectfulrelationships.aspx to learn more, or salesian.vic.edu.au/blog to stay up to date with how we’re enacting the initiative in our classrooms.

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FIGHTING FIRES Geoff Stewart Past pupil (Class of 1964) and volunteer firefighter Nikita Rodrigues Publications and Communications Officer

BROTHERHOOD BOND At Salesian College Chadstone we hear many positive stories about our past pupils, who often dedicate their time to give back to the community in the true spirit of Don Bosco.

One such story filtered back to us about Geoff Stewart (Class of 1964), Michael Pugliese (Class of 1998) and Michael Roche (Class of 1971). All three Chaddy alumni met while volunteer firefighting at the CFA in Bayswater!

With an interest in fire protection (the study and practice of mitigating the effects of destructive fires), Geoff became a volunteer firefighter in 1973. He put his knowledge and skills to the test during the 1983 Ash Wednesday and 2009 Black Saturday fires, to help those in desperate need of assistance. A volunteer firefighter for over 45 years (and counting), Geoff believes in the importance of maintaining a healthy work/life balance. “If you’re considering volunteering, my advice is to understand the importance of balancing your commitments to both work and family, so that the two can work together.”

Michael Pugliese became a volunteer

firefighter in 2015, and is passionate about his vocation. “One incident I’ll never forget is attending a massive vehicle explosion early one morning in peak hour traffic on Bayswater’s main road.

Volunteering is incredibly rewarding.

However, I balance my passion for firefighting with my commitments to my family and running a successful business.

It’s important to lead a balanced life.”

Michael Roche has been volunteer firefighting since 2009. Originally a member of the SES Werribee, Michael moved to Bayswater and joined the CFA in the area to honour his commitment to supporting the community. “My most rewarding volunteering experience has been evacuating people after the Ash Wednesday fires in Mt Macedon as a member of the SES. I would advise students to consider volunteer firefighting. It’s an extremely rewarding experience, and you will get a lot more out of it than you put in.” Outside of the CFA, Michael is kept busy with his nine grandchildren!

Thank you for your ongoing commitment to our community, gentlemen.

Earl Menezes (Class of 1986 School Captain), Gary Ryan, Andrew Scott, Michael Paydon, Mark Wheller and Brendan Welsford (Principal of feeder primary school, Christ our Holy Redeemer) have remained in touch since graduating from Salesian College Chadstone 32 years ago. Despite Earl and Andrew living interstate, this has not stopped the group from making time to catch up over the years. When they realised that their 50th birthdays would soon be approaching, the group decided on an international trip to Bali in 2018 with their partners. Earl commented beautifully in a recent Facebook group chat, “We’ve gone from 18th birthdays at Foresters, 21sts at home, great engagements and interstate weddings, massive 40ths to international 50ths. Looking forward to the 60ths on a cruise, 70ths in a caravan and 80ths in a nursing home!”

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018

SCOUTING FOR SUCCESS Nikita Rodrigues Publications and Communications Officer

Year 9 student Will Kirkman believes Scouts has provided him with much more than the opportunity to brush up on his outdoor skills. Awarded the highest award in the Scouts section, the Australian Scout Medallion, Will has dedicated himself to Scouting over the last six years. A leader in his troupe, Will plans to continue into the higher Scouting divisions, valuing the inclusive community and the opportunity to make new friends.

Congratulations on receiving the Australian Scout Medallion! What did you accomplish to be awarded this medallion?

I have participated in Scouts for the last 6 years. To achieve the Scout Medallion, I had to reach the ‘Adventurer’ badge level, the highest badge level in Scouts.

To reach this level, I earned a range of different badges, including badges in areas such as Citizenship, Camp Craft and Air Activities. You also need to earn your ‘cord’ for the badge, which involves earning six additional Proficiency badges.

There’s a large variety of badges a Scout is able to earn, so there’s something for everyone. To be awarded the Medallion you also need to be considered an active leader in your troupe.

What has been the most valuable experience that Scouts have provided you with?

Participating in the Australian Jamboree in January 2016 in Sydney. The Scouts Jamboree is the largest event in Scouts, and the 2016 Jamboree was attended by over 10,000 members. I was away for 10 nights, and during this time I camped, participated in many activities and made new friends. I’m excited to attend the World Scout Jamboree in America next year.

Having achieved the highest accolade in the Scouting Division (11-14 years), do you plan to continue to participate in the higher divisions?

Definitely. I really enjoy scouting.

I’ve made many new friends, and I enjoy meeting with them every Tuesday for activities and games.

There are many enjoyable opportunities to participate in with Scouts. In total, I’ve done 54 nights of camping! I have also enjoyed participating in the South Metro Show, a Scout and Guide Production held at the Alexander Theatre at Monash University, Clayton.

How similar are Scouting and Salesian values?

Scouts are passionate about preventing bullying, which I think is a value also held at Salesian.

Scouts also emphasise the importance of developing your leadership skills, something that is reflected here in our Student Leadership opportunities. As at Salesian, Scouts are very inclusive. Anyone can join.

Although everyone is different, everyone is welcome.

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2018 SPORTS AWARDS NIGHT Mr Steven Loonstra Head of Sport

for being an exceptional role model to Australian youth. Sam shared stories about his disability and what sport has meant to him over the years, while also sharing his love of occasionally playing practical jokes! Sam was both motivating and amusing to listen to.

On Thursday 20 September, we gathered together with over 500 attendees to celebrate our 2018 achievements in ACC Sport.

This year we were fortunate to have some great sporting personalities come along and share their stories with us. Sam Bramham is a two-time Paralympian swimmer and has won five Paralympic medals, including two gold.

Sam was awarded the Order of Australia Medal for his contributions to sport and

We also had professional soccer player Scott Jamieson in attendance. Scott has made over 200 A-League appearances, and has played in Europe and for the Socceroos. Scott shared some great stories about moving away from home at the age of 16 to play football in England. He gave some great advice to our students about the importance of staying in school and maintaining a good balance between school and sport.

Lastly, we heard from AFL Hall of Fame member and Carlton Football Club legend Anthony Koutoufides. Anthony shared some great stories about his glory days at Carlton and the feeling of winning a premiership. He also spoke about the current Carlton team and the hard work he believes they need to do to earn back the respect of the competition.

However, it was his story about winning

the reality TV show “Dancing with the Stars� that had the audience on the edge of their seats with laughter.

On the night we also held the inaugural presentation of the Sheridan Asuncion Award for the Best Team Player in Senior Basketball. Sheridan was a member of the Class of 2000 who tragically passed away in February this year. This perpetual award is named in his honour to acknowledge the contribution that he made to sport and basketball while at the College. We would like to thank his family and friends for their attendance on the night, in particular his wife Cherry, daughter Isabelle, parents Flor and Josie, and brother Darren. Congratulations to Zac Gilbert who was the first winner of the award.

The Sports Awards Night provided a great opportunity for us to acknowledge our individual award winners, as well as to celebrate the team premierships we have won over the course of 2018. Thank you to all the boys and parents who attended, and to the staff who assisted in making the night a great success.

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GRIFFIN Summer 2018

2018 REUNION HIGHLIGHTS Past students connecting back to College grounds for reunions at Chadstone has gained momentum throughout 2018, with hundreds of past students from across the years returning to the College.

Throughout the course of the year we reconnected with the Class of: 2017 - 1 Year Reunion 2008 - 10 Year Reunion 1998 - 20 Year Reunion 1993 - 25 Year Reunion 1978 - 40 Year Reunion

CLASS OF 1978

What people are saying: “What a FABULOUS night! Such great friends. Thank you Salesian College for hosting the reunion. We had a ball!”

“We definitely appreciate the time at Salesian as we get older. Sharing stories, events, memories and so great to come together after 25 years.”

“Thank you to Salesian College for organising the night and allowing us to create more memories, although some of the memories have become quite distorted over the years. Thanks also for the photos, they are great. We look like ‘older’ people but are still young at heart.”

CLASS OF 1993

While members of each year level brought their own personalities and energy to each event, they shared commonality – impressive recall, a genuine interest in learning how Salesian Chaddy functions today, and an appreciation of the relationships they made during such a pivotal time during their developing years.

2019 HALL OF FAME Get together your Chaddy connections and book your ticket via trybooking.com/ZMCE for our Annual Hall of Fame Dinner on Friday 15 March 2019.

NOMINATIONS Know of someone who has achieved significant success in their chosen field of service? Visit salesian.vic.edu.au/community/hall-offame and submit your Hall of Fame and Young Achiever Award nomination.

Update your contact details so that we can make staying in touch easy, via www.salesian.vic.edu. au/community/past-pupils-association/ Is 2019 your Class of 2018, 2009, 1999, 1994 or 1979 Reunion? Drop us a line at pastpupils@salesian.vic.edu.au to organise your event.

CLASS OF 1998

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COMMUNITY BIRTHS, DEATHS & MARRIAGES

Teacher Tara Kimstra and her husband Luke welcomed their first child, Jesse Mark, on 14 July 2018. Congratulations, Tara and Luke!

College Accountant Reece Chang and his wife Nina welcomed their second child, Aimee, to the world on 28 June 2018. Aimee weighed in at 2.99kg, and joins her older brother Andrew.

Staff member Maryanne Xuereb married her childhood sweetheart Ben Challis on 20 October 2018 in Boolarra, a small town in Gippsland.

Maryanne and Ben’s wedding ceremony was led by past Salesian staff member Dave Callanan, with the reception celebrated by forty of their closest family and friends in Meeniyan.

On Saturday 11 August we stood beside 29 year serving staff member, Mr Steve Beckham, who paid tribute to his wife, Lisa Beckham, in a loving ceremony at the College. Lisa suffered from Multiple Sclerosis (MS) for over eight years, during which time she was cared for by Steve and their two daughters, Sarah and Georgia.

We thank all those in our community who shared prayers and support with Steve and his family.

Rest in peace, Lisa.

The Salesian College Chadstone community were saddened to hear of the passing of John Joseph (Jack) Caulfield on 10 July 2018. Jack was a past student of Archbishop Mannix Missionary College before it became Salesian College Chadstone. A member of the Salesian Order before leaving at the age of 21 to become a teacher and educational psychologist, Jack married Sandra in 1969 and had two children, Marcus and Penelope. We thank Fr Frank Bertagnolli, current Rector, who officiated at his Requiem Mass. Rest in peace, Jack.

On 29 June 2018, past pupil Joseph (Joe) Putrino (Class of 1967) entered into God’s care.

Born in Catania, Italy, on 2 April 1950, Joe’s funeral mass was officiated at

by Rector Fr Frank Bertagnolli SDB on 12 July 2018. May you rest in peace, Joe.

If you have a birth, death or marriage notice to share with our community, please contact us via publicrelations@salesian.vic.edu.au