I have some doubts, am I experiencing abuse in my relationship?
Your body can be the first one to recognize that something is wrong.
Learning to listen to yourself and your intuition can help you realize the first signs of unhealthy behaviors and make you more aware. Once you reconnect with your body, you may be able to see things you didn’t notice before Harmony with your body and carefully listening to it can give you a new perspective and hopefully give you inner peace.
How can I listen to my body better?
Let’s start from head to toes
Do you feel seen?
Areyouabletocommunicate?
Whatis yourintuitiontellingyou?
Doyoufeelheard?
Doyoufeelsafeinthisrelationship?
Treat your answers as guidance but most importantly - trust your intuition
How is your mind in this relationship?
Do you feel like you are looking over your shoulder?
Do you feel cut off at the knees?
Do you feel rooted to the spot, standing alone, moving further away from friends, family and normal activities for you?
How can I communicate better with my partner?
You can start by being able to recognize unhealthy behaviors
Here are some signs to look for:
Passive-aggressive behavior
This kind of behavior allows you to express your frustration without actually having to talk about it. It might feel satisfying in the moment, but it won't benefit you in the long term.
Sweeping the problem aside
Avoiding conflicts won’t help.
Furthermore, ignoring issues gives them the space and time to build up into something more serious.
Using
aggressive speech
Becoming openly defensive or hostile when talking to your partner is a sign you ’ ve fallen into a toxic communication pattern.
Some examples of aggressive speech are:
raising your voice, blaming or criticizing, controlling or dominating the conversation
Tips to communicate better
Process your feelings first
Before talking with your partner about an issue that’s upsetting for you, be sure to process your feelings on the subject and calm yourself first.
Start with ‘I’ statements and feelings
Wording and how we speak can make a big difference. Couples often begin a conversation by pointing the finger at the other person and placing blame. Begin the conversation with how you are feeling
Focus on being both being heard and listening
While you may not agree with your partner’s point of view, it’s important to carefully listen to why they feel the way they do. It should work both ways.
Thinking about timing
Choosing the right time to talk with your partner can make a big difference. If something’s weighing on your mind, give your partner a signal that you’d like to sit down and talk.
To love someone healthily, it is important to understand that each of us does it in our unique way.
Nevertheless, being able to successfully love both yourself and others requires a balance between being both selfish and selfless. Most importantly, don’t be scared to ask for help if something is bothering you and you don’t feel safe.
Are you experiencing partner violence or maybe you are the perpetrator yourself?
You can call Veilig Thuis on this free national helpline: 0800-2000. This number is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Do you feel like you want to talk with someone about your situation, but you want to stay anonymous?
You can chat with the care provider on chatmetfier.nl Monday to Friday from 4 pm to 6 am and on Saturday, Sunday, and public holidays from 8 pm to 6 am
Do you struggle with suicidal thoughts?
Don’t hesitate to call free suicide hotline 0800-0113 or chat anonymously with the care provider on 113.nl
