Rakhi Beekrum’s Words of wisdom for women

Rakhi Beekrum is a counselling psychologist based in Durban North. With over 14 years of experience as a counselling psychologist. She has spent her career consulting with outpatients in her practice (or online) and in medical and psychiatric hospitals.. Her current focus is on outpatient individual and couples therapy as well as professional speaking and corporate wellness.

With it being Women’s Month, she has shared some words of wisdom for women who might be struggling to find sparks of joy in their daily lives, inspired by one of her favourite quotes:

We are all born with a beautiful light in us. Sometimes as life gets serious and we get caught up in the stressors of life we might forget this light. When we are young and before we’re even aware of how difficult life can be, the light is a lot more obvious in us.

Depending on our life circumstances and experiences we might forget about our inner light. As we are conditioned to work harder to be a better student, daughter, wife or mother etc , the focus is no longer on us, but on everyone else, we are meant to be there for.

Several things make us forget our inner light. Firstly, as women we juggle so many roles–wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employer, employee - depending on your circumstances there might be many more. And as women, we are conditioned to believe that our self-worth is based on what we do for others. Don’t get me wrong – it’s good to do good for others. However, it should never be at the expense of our joy or mental health.

Most of us were raised with role models who cared for others first. Self-care was unheard of –so it makes complete sense if you’ve grown into an adult who feels guilty when doing something for YOU. If you just think of every single person that depends on you, imagine what would happen to them if you fell apart. So we must realise that by taking care of you, you ensure that those you love get the best of you!

The cost of toxic relationships

Something else that dims our light is when we are consistently surrounded by those who steal our joy. You must have heard this saying – you become like the people you spend most of your time with. So choose carefully who you surround yourself with. Toxic relationships can sap our energy and rob us of our joy. When we speak of toxic relationships, we somehow think of romantic relationships. But we can have toxic relationships with anyone -friends, colleagues and even family.

The easiest way to recognize if any of our relationships is toxic is to notice how you feel after spending time with people – then consider whether you like who you are in different relationships in your life.

Toxic relationships take a few different forms –relationships in which you give a lot more than you receive in return, relationships in which the other person is overtly mean to you, relationships where you are gaslit, relationships where you bond over gossip, fair weather relationships (where they are only there for the good times), relationships that are competitive and relationships in which you are put down.

Not everyone has the emotional maturity to repair toxic relationships, so we must be mindful that we only address issues with someone if we are sure that they have the emotional capacity to even consider what we are saying, without being defensive In some relationships, physical distance may not be possible – so our only option is emotional distance In such instances, we can choose how much personal information we share.

Do

We get so caught up in the stressors of life and our responsibilities towards others, that we forget to do little things for ourselves.

Start with doing the very basics of getting adequate good quality sleep, making better nutritional choices, moving your body, resting, praying or meditating and doing little things that help you to feel like yourself again. Even if all you have is 20 minutes in a day, claim that for yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend.

As we grow and become more authentic, we will outgrow people. As we learn to love and accept ourselves, we might no longer be able to tolerate relationships that are superficial. The genuine friendships are those that make the light in us shine brighter. The people that we choose should celebrate our light and not feel a need to dim it. Living inauthentically will also dim your light because you are not being true to yourself.

We sometimes stay quiet about things that matter because we don’t want to rock the boat Staying in relationships where our needs are not met and where we don’t feel valued will naturally dim our light. All relationships ebb and flow.

Rakhi Beekrum - Psychologist rakhibeekrum

Skin and hair problems are some of the most common issues both women and men go through

They are the hardest things to get a handle on and many will try many products for decades with no luck.

Skin and hair problems are some of the most common issues both women and men go through They are the hardest things to get a handle on and many will try many products for decades with no luck. Akosua odamea Railston-Brown (Akos for short) is the founder and the formulator of Orobaa products. An organic skin and haircare brand that is inspired by our heritage, providing natural beauty sourced from within Africa and handcrafted for a global citizen

Orobaa simply means ‘Women’s Gold’ and after using these products, you will also feel like gold We are a natural skincare, haircare and selfcare brand We formulate our products with natural ingredients all sourced within Africa.

BuildingOrobaa–scienceand traditioncombined.

Ghanaian teacher, Akos, had struggled with her hair and skin after moving to South Africa in 2014, and decided to import some African Black Soap and Shea Butter to assist with flaky dry skin and hair falling off Little did she know, that soon her brand would grow and help thousands of people

This is how Orobaa was born, a simple solution for herself and others like her, “I was going to live in South Africa for a long period, I figured that the only way I can help myself and others who suffer from the same problem is by importing pure authentic African Black Soap and Shea Butter from Ghana The few people I shared the products with were very happy and requested me to sell them” she tells us

“I embarked on this journey and started looking deeper into formulating to ensure the products suit the rainbow nation I registered for a course to gain scientific knowledge, technical skills in addition to my traditional knowledge and skills I put the science and tradition together without destroying the phytonutrients of African Black Soap and Shea Butter to help skin and hair I learned the different hair and skin variations. This ensured that my products would suit the concern and work perfectly ”-Akos

DrySkinandfallinghair…

The field of dermatology definitely needed Akos’s products to address some key problems Between very dry skin, damage caused by abusing other products, thinning hair and challenge people had faced for decades, Orobaa came with an organic and quick-fixing solution. “I started the business informally in 2016, it was a no brainer, I knew exactly what I had to do There was no way I was going to sit back and watch people suffer while I have access to something that would bring them relief. I had to continue bringing these products to help my brothers and sisters gain their confidence back in their skin and hair” she says.