Great Metro West 5-28-20 by rich waloff

NEW JERSEY JEWISH NEWS

G R E AT E R M E T R O W E S T E D I T I O N A P U B L I C AT I O N O F T H E J E W I S H W E E K M E D I A G R O U P Vol. LXX IV No. 22 | May 28, 2020 | 5 S IVAN 5780

njj ew is hnews . c o m

‘I’m lonely and isolated’

Bedouin women in Israel exercise their right to vote

Independent seniors tap inner strength during pandemic

Opinion page 16 ➞

Johanna Ginsberg NJJN Senior Writer

N.J. appoints new head of Commission on Holocaust Education

State & Local 4

A Bedouin woman casts her ballot for Israel’s Knesset election in March. PHOTOS COURTESY PHYLLIS BERNSTEIN

What’s a parent to do when camp is canceled?

But who’s counting? A debate over Jews of color goes viral

Opinion 15 Demography and the perilous politics of race, identity, and inclusion State & Local 4 Andrew Silow-Carroll demography turned into an Opinion 15 Special to NJJN explosive debate over Jewish Calendar/Community 22 identity and exclusion. don’t know if you followed Here’s the fast version: A LifeCycle 23 the debate last week about 2019 research project led by Touch of Torah 28 and among Jews of color, The Jews of Color Field BuildExit Ramp 31 but — hoo boy. What started ing Initiative determined that

out as a dry bit of academic

approximately 12-15 percent of American Jews could be defined as “Jews of color.” Last week the website eJewish Philanthropy published a response, titled “How Many Jews of Color Are There?” Two well-known Jewish demographers, Ira Sheskin and Arnold

Continued on page 12

efore the Covid-19 pandemic abruptly curtailed her active lifestyle, Audrey Kaufman, 90, spent little time at her Cranford home. She played mah jongg at the YM-YWHA of Union County, participated in the Y’s senior group New Beginnings, frequently gambled in Atlantic City, attended Hadassah meetings, and took a Yiddish class — in addition to driving to the grocery store, and running other errands. “Now I can’t do any of that,” Kaufman told NJJN in a phone interview. “We’re cut off from everyone.” For months, she’s been isolated and alone in her 10-room house, and she doesn’t own a smartphone or a computer. Kaufman can’t visit with her daughter, who lives in Scotch Plains but is immobile from a broken ankle. Her other daughter, a nurse, lives in Seattle. “I haven’t seen a person in 10 weeks,” Kaufman said. Her days are limited to taking walks, doing laundry, and talking to her daughters on the phone. But mostly, she said, “I watch a lot of TV, mostly ‘Law and Order.’” Some days the sense of isolation is worse than others. “I feel lonely on the weekends,” she said. “The days seem short during the week, but on the weekends they seem longer. I don’t know why.” Everyone has lost the hustle and bustle of daily life as a result of precautions taken to prevent the spread of Covid-19. But the lack of human contact and sense of isolation is amplified for seniors who prided themselves on their independent and active lives but are now confined to their homes. “I’m lonely and isolated and feel unwell in many ways,” said Sari Becker, 69, who lives in Village Apartments of the Jewish Federation in South Orange, one of four senior residences that comprise Jewish Community Housing Corporation (JCHC). Other than to

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Bowl-ed over in fundraiser

One of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft’s Super Bowl rings sold for $1.025 million in an online fundraiser to help address food insecurity during the coronavirus pandemic. The ring, which includes 283 diamonds and weighs 5.1 carats, was among the most expensive items to be sold in the ALL IN Challenge, which had raised more than $50 million as of Monday. The money from the sale of Robert Kraft prior to a game at MetLife the ring is earmarked for Feeding Amer- Stadium in October 2019. ica, Meals On Wheels, World Central Kitchen, and No Kid Hungry. The ALL IN Challenge was created by Philadelphia 76ers co-owner Michael Rubin. Also included in the purchase of the ring is a trip on the Patriots’ team plane to Gillette Stadium in suburban Boston, where the buyer will be presented with the ring by Kraft. Kraft said earlier this month that he picked the ring from the 2017 Super Bowl because the Patriots had come back from a 28-3 deficit to beat the Atlanta Falcons in that game. “I thought about what is going on at this time and wanted to give something of extreme value in support of our health-care workers.” Kraft told Yahoo Sports. “So I thought it would be good to give this ring, our fifth Super Bowl win, because it showed how we came back.” There were a total of 35 bids for Kraft’s ring, beginning at $75,000. Kraft, a winner of the Genesis Prize, has earned six Super Bowl rings as owner of the Patriots. — JTA

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Sheltering in a dreamy place

Painter Gal Cohen is tapping into the dreams of people in quarantine. In the summer of 2018, Cohen was exhibiting large paintings that beautifully recalled lost worlds — she was depicting the architectural gems in her hometown of Hadera, Israel, that were in the process of disappearing, due to gentrification. Her new project, “Quarantine Dream House Machine,” looks forward, conjuring the idealized homes people imagine while “Talia’s House of Dreams,” from sheltering in quarantine quarters. “This is about utopia,” she says in an Gal Cohen’s “Quarantine Dream interview from the fourth-floor walk-up in House” series. Manhattan that she shares with her wife, an architectural conservator, and their toddler daughter. She was inspired to initiate this project as she thought about the space she would prefer, which would have a garden, a studio, and outdoor space for her daughter. Through Instagram, Cohen reached out to her community of friends and beyond for descriptions of where they’d like to be. From their responses — whether detailed, abstract, or poetic — she made digital mixed-media drawings in full color and posted them. “I let my imagination go free,” she says. So far, she has completed 20 images. They are wildly lovely, with abstract patios, cloisters and gardens, mountains and lakes, baths, and an outdoor shower. One respondent said her dream was based on a house her father designed before he passed away; another wanted a home “with a clear ceiling, or no ceiling.” One theme common to many of the dreamers was light. Cohen, who graduated from the Bezalel Academy of Art & Design in Jerusalem and completed an MFA program at Parsons School of Design in Manhattan, moved to New York in 2016. Her respondents are in New York, Israel, and around the world, although the majority are, like herself, Israeli-born apartment-dwellers here. “As an Israeli living in New York, I am always thinking about where is my home, not on a daily basis, but an hourly basis,” she says. “I am in between. I have a home here and a home there, and in a way not at home anywhere.” She hasn’t yet painted her own Dream House, but admits, “When I’m the one dreaming and imagining, my dream house is in each and every home.” The project can be viewed on Instagram, @galshugon. Her website is galcohenart.com. — Sandee Brawarsky/New York Jewish Week COURTESY OF GAL COHEN

Vol. LXXIV No. 22 May 28, 2020 5 Sivan 5780 EDITORIAL Gabe Kahn, Editor Shira Vickar-Fox, Managing Editor Lori Silberman Brauner, Deputy Managing Editor Johanna Ginsberg, Senior Staff Writer Jed Weisberger, Staff Writer Abby Meth Kanter, Editorial Adviser CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Michele Alperin, Jennifer Altmann, Max L. Kleinman, Martin J. Raffel, Merri Ukraincik, Stephen M. Flatow, Jonathan Tobin BUSINESS Nancy Greenblatt, Manager Sales/ Administration and Circulation Nancy Karpf, Senior Account Executive Steven Weisman, Account Executive Lauri Sirois, Classified Sales Supervisor/ Office Manager GRAPHIC DESIGN/DIGITAL/PRODUCTION Clarissa Hamilton, Janice Hwang, Dani Shetrit EXECUTIVE STAFF Rich Waloff, Publisher Andrew Silow-Carroll, Editor in Chief Gary Rosenblatt, Editor at Large Rob Goldblum, Managing Editor Ruth Rothseid, Sales Manager Thea Wieseltier, Director of Strategic Projects Dan Bocchino, Art Director Arielle Sheinwald, Operations Manager Gershon Fastow, Advertising Coordinator

PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT New Jersey Jewish News, an independent voice, seeks to inform, engage and inspire its readers, covering and helping to build community. The Greater MetroWest edition of NJJN (USPS 275-540) is published weekly by the JWMW, LLC, at 1501 Broadway, Room 505, New York, NY 10036. © 2016, NJ Jewish News. All rights reserved. • Periodical postage is paid at Whippany, NJ, and additional offices. • Postmaster: Send address changes to New Jersey Jewish News, 1719 Route 10, Suite 307, Parsippany, NJ 07054-4515. NJJN was founded as The Jewish News on Jan. 3, 1947. Member, American Jewish Press Association; subscriber to JTA. TELEPHONES/E-MAIL: Main — phone: 973739-8110, fax: 973-887-4152, e-mail: editorial@njjewishnews.com, ■ Manuscripts, letters, documents, and photographs sent to New Jersey Jewish News become the physical property of this publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. SUBSCRIPTIONS: ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS (INCLUDING POSTAGE): New Jersey: $52. Out of State: $56. Call Nancy Greenblatt, 973-739-8115 or e-mail: ngreenblatt@njjewishnews.com. For change of address, call 973-929-3198. ADVERTISING: NJJN does not endorse the goods or services advertised in its pages and makes no representation as to the kashrut of food products and services in such advertising. The publisher shall not be liable for damages if, for any reason whatsoever, the publisher fails to publish an advertisement or for any error in an advertisement. Acceptance of advertisers and of advertising copy is subject to publisher’s approval. NJJN is not responsible if ads violate applicable laws and the advertiser will indemnify, hold harmless, and defend NJJN from all claims made by governmental agencies and consumers for any reason based on ads carried in NJJN.

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New NJ Commission on Holocaust Education head committed to making communities ‘safe and nurturing’ Jed Weisberger NJJN Staff Writer

n 1973, Doug Cervi, then a senior at Penn Military College in Chester, Pa. (now Widener University), was in a class on teaching methods when the professor showed “Night and Fog,” a short French film from 1956 and one of the first documentaries about the Holocaust. “The professor called on me randomly and asked me what the film was about,” said Cervi, who is Catholic. He told NJJN in a phone conversation that until then, he had neither studied nor discussed the Shoah with anyone. “I had no idea what was being referred to. The professor really castigated me as a history major for not knowing about the film and its subject matter.”

Doug Cervi, new executive director of the New Jersey Commission on Holocaust Education, said he first became interested in Shoah education when high school students told him the Holocaust never happened.

When the professor put the question to the rest of the class, the lone Jewish student raised his hand and gave the correct answer. “I was stunned,” said Cervi. “I told my classmate, who was a friend from Toms River, that we needed to get pizza and discuss this so I could learn. We talked into the middle of the night.” Despite the late start, Cervi, now 68, has made up for lost time learning about the Shoah, so much so that he was recently tapped as the new executive director of the New Jersey Commission on Holocaust Education, succeeding Larry Glaser, who retired at the end of 2019. Cervi’s first hands-on experience in Holocaust education came early in his 41-year career as a teacher at Oakcrest High School in

New Shabbat pandemic practices may have staying power Research by Princeton University reveals ‘engaging and meaningful’ rituals Michele Alperin NJJN Contributing Writer

he Shabbat observances of Amital Haas’ family are evolving during the pandemic. Haas, a rising senior at Princeton University majoring in anthropology, completed her semester at home living with her parents and five siblings in Cleveland. She described the pre-pandemic Shabbat traditions in her modern Orthodox family as “pretty communal and structured” — including prayer services Friday night and Shabbat morning in synagogue, and festive meals at home with guests, or as guests in the homes of friends. “That’s the bones of Shabbat,” she told NJJN in a phone interview. “Everything else fills in around those large, established events that happen every week.” But these days, with synagogues closed and social distancing in place,

Princeton University student Amital Haas researched alternative Shabbat practices during the pandemic. PHOTO BY NETTA HAAS

Shabbat with her family has taken a different shape. “It’s been interesting to see how

my family has altered its routines and tried to establish new rituals and norms when the communal structure is not

there,” Haas said. As her family sought evolution in their Shabbat rituals, she became curious about how other people were navigating theirs. She decided to delve into the topic, interviewing 20 Jews of varying ages and across denominations who observe Shabbat in some way, and wrote a research paper for an anthropology class that looks at changes in Shabbat experiences across Jewish movements in the United States and Israel. “Everybody has been appreciating certain aspects of Shabbat that they hadn’t been able to appreciate previously,” she said. In Ohio, the Haas family has tried to mimic the prayer services they would normally attend by singing the Kabbalat Shabbat portion of the Friday evening davening together, and taking turns reading parts of the morning service or chanting the weekly Torah portion. For her part, Haas has been pushing

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Mays Landing, when several students told him the Shoah was made up. Their comments convinced him to take part in a four-week training unit on Holocaust education, which then turned into a trip with other educators to Auschwitz. The experience helped Cervi and three other faculty members establish the Holocaust education program at Oakcrest. About his new position, under the auspices of the state’s Department of Education in Trenton, Cervi said, “I am honored, and I know New Jersey is one of the premier states in Holocaust education.” He told NJJN he’s committed to making “our communities safe and nurturing,” adding that his goal is for every student in New Jersey to understand that “being a bystander only allows bullies on any level to advance their agenda.” New Jersey is one of a dozen states that mandate Holocaust education in schools from kindergarten through 12th grade, and the commission’s role is to assist all schools, organizations, elected officials, and others with the study of the Holocaust and genocide. During his more than four decades at Oakcrest, where Cervi taught social studies and coached three sports, he brought Holocaust survivors from the area to his classes as living examples. For the last six years Cervi has

served as adjunct professor of Holocaust and Genocide Studies at Stockton University in Galloway Township, and he plans to continue in that position. “Doug will help ensure that educators have the resources needed to teach students about the Holocaust and genocide, and he will serve as a resource for communities and organizations to promote awareness of the work of the commission,” said Education Commissioner Dr. Lamont Repollet in a statement. Cervi has a bachelor’s degree in history education from Widener and a master’s in Holocaust and Genocide Studies from Stockton. He is a captain in the New Jersey National Guard and lives in Mays Landing with his wife, Kelly, and son. In his new role Cervi said teachers need to implement multiple approaches to teach the Holocaust to different age groups. “In younger grades, we do ‘Sesame Street’type stuff; then later, we’ll explain what genocide is and even later the Holocaust and all that was involved and why,” he said. “There are so many students who are unaware. We have to teach them.” Because Covid-19 forced an end to in-person instruction for one of his spring-semester Stock-

ton courses, Cervi created an online curriculum to close out the semester virtually. It was successful, he said, and he plans to use that and similar presentations to help teachers prepare for the upcoming academic year. “We’re having Zoom meetings with teachers all over the state this summer,” he said. “We want to fit the curriculum to what the teachers need.” An additional challenge for the commission is that it will have to figure out how to provide teachers with what they will need to teach the Holocaust when the start of the next school year is uncertain. “We will be working with teachers this summer to make sure they have all the materials they need,” said Cervi. “This will be a learning curve for everyone.… We’ll do what we have to.” They will have to, because Holocaust education is always relevant, as Cervi noted in the wake of the release of ADL’s annual report on anti-Semitism, which found a 73 percent increase in anti-Semitic incidents in New Jersey from 2018 to 2019. “Anti-Semitism always rears its ugly head, even more with Covid and what goes on with social media,” he said. “We always need to educate.” ■ jweisberger@njjewishnews.com

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NJ teacher’s path to Judaism was the road less traveled

Consummate synagogue volunteer recalls how she was drawn to Jewish texts Jennifer Altmann NJJN Contributing Writer

ore than three decades ago, when Carol Landa learned that her thesis adviser was critically ill, she came upon the book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People,” by Rabbi Harold Kushner (Anchor Members of Books, 1981), Our Tribe which explores human suffering and faith. The book helped her cope with her grief and anger, and allowed her to envision a way to move forward. Landa, who lives in East Brunswick, grew up attending a Lutheran church in a small town in Pennsylvania, but Kushner’s teachings led her to undertake a years-long study of Jewish thought and, eventually, to convert to Once a frequent traveler for work, Carol Landa began attending Shabbat services at synagogues in various cities, where she said she always felt welcome. PHOTO BY JENNIFER ALTMANN

Judaism. Today she is a devoted volunteer at East Brunswick Jewish Center (EBJC), where she has done everything from weeding the synagogue’s garden to reading Torah. “The synagogue can only function with the hard work and dedication of people like Carol,” said EBJC Rabbi Jeff Pivo. “She will put stickers on hundreds of chairs before the High Holidays so people know where to sit, she will teach religious school, she will tutor students — anything you can think of.” Landa’s path to conversion began when she returned to Kushner’s book a decade after first reading it, when her mother became ill and Landa was going through a divorce. Then, intrigued by the tenets of Judaism, she bought book after book for a self-guided study of the religion’s principles. “Judaism fascinated me. The more I learned, the more I wanted to know. Every time I couldn’t understand something, I bought another book,” she said. “What drew me to Judaism was that it just made sense.” Landa had been living in State College, Pa., since 1976, after earning

a bachelor’s degree in biology from Penn State. She worked at a nursing home and then spent a dozen years as a research assistant in a laboratory at Penn State while studying part-time for a master’s degree in food science. After earning her degree, she took a job teaching a software training course that required a lot of travel. Often finding herself at a hotel on the weekends — she typically spent about 180 days a year on the road — she began attending Shabbat services at synagogues in various cities. “Each synagogue I walked into, I was always welcomed,” she said. In 1999, after studying informally with a rabbi in New York City, she sought out a rabbi to guide her study for conversion and was introduced to Rabbi Isaac Mann, a faculty member at the Academy for Jewish Religion, a seminary in Yonkers, N.Y. For more than two years, the rabbi met with Landa weekly — an in-person visit once a month and a phone call during her business trips the rest of the time. During this period she met Jay Landa, a physics teacher living in Brooklyn, in an online chat room where she had posed questions about Judaism. The year 2001 was one of major transitions for Carol Landa. She converted to Judaism, married Jay, and moved to East Brunswick, which the couple chose because of its robust Jewish community. (Her adult daughter lives in Vermont.) After 9/11, Landa decided she didn’t want to travel anymore for work and became a science teacher through New Jersey’s alternate route program, which trains and certifies teachers who seek to switch from another career; for the last 17 years she has been a ninth-grade biology teacher at Watchung Hills Regional High School. At EBJC, Landa has taught music to children in Hebrew school and spent 10 years leading pre-kindergarten Shabbat services. She is a member of EBJC’s executive board, serves on the religious committee, and has been a key force in organizing and promoting the weekly egalitarian minyan, often leading the service, reading Torah, and chanting haftorah. She is always working on improving her command of Hebrew — “It took me six months to learn the first 17 lines I

learned in the Torah,” Landa recalled — and has studied modern Hebrew with Pivo and is now taking online lessons in biblical Hebrew. “As someone who wasn’t born in this faith, she, like many converts, has devoted herself to her studies,” Pivo said. “Carol is never satisfied with what she already knows. She is always looking for another thing to learn, which is really the mark of a traditional Jew.” And of course, Landa can be counted on to pitch in at EBJC for any work that is needed. She has weeded the garden, painted the houses owned by the synagogue, stuffed envelopes, and helped with organizational chores for High Holiday services. “Many members don’t realize how many volunteers are needed for the High Holidays,” said Ellen Botwin, EBJC’s executive director. “She does it because of the goodness of her heart.” Her participation comes for a simple reason: “Judaism is central to my life,” Landa said. “It has brought meaning for me, and it has surrounded me as a family.” ■ To nominate a community member for a profile in NJJN, please send the person’s name and contact information, plus a brief description of why you believe the individual should be nominated, to editorial@njjewishnews.com. Put “Members of Our Tribe” in the subject line.

Donations sustain the Food Pantry in Elizabeth PETER TILL and son Harrison Till made significant contributions to the Food Pantry at the Jewish Family Service of Central New Jersey (JFSCNJ) in Elizabeth. Under increasing pressure to feed more families of all denominations, the Pantry — recently renovated by Mark Ginsberg of Garden Homes — no longer had the space to store the necessary food. So the Tills stepped in and rented two large storage units and solicited donations from contacts in the food industry such as Kedem Food Products based in Bayonne. “This organization has remained the calm in the storm,” said lawyer Peter Till, about JFSCNJ. “During this pandemic, demand on the food pantry has grown by tenfold. It is an honor and an obligation to help.” Till is a former JFS dinner honoree. His son Harrison is a wealth manager at Integrated Partners. “It’s people in our community like Peter and Harrison Till and Mark Ginsberg who help us provide the support we have committed to those who so desperately need our help,” said Elie Bodner, director of community engagement at JFSCNJ.

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From left, Mark Ginsberg, with Peter and Harris Till in front of two storage units filled with donations to the Food Pantry at Jewish Family Service of Central New Jersey. PHOTO BY ZITO PARTNERS

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7 NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

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NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

State&Local Lonely

“I was the original homebound employee,” she said.

Continued from page 1 take out the garbage or get her mail, she has only been out of her apartment once since midMarch when the lockdown began. That day, she recalled, she got too close to one resident, took off her mask to be heard while she was talking, and pet the dog of a young couple walking by. She chided herself. “I realized how stupid that was,” Becker said. Afterward she went inside and has not been out since. “I’m terrified,” she said. A former public relations executive whose adult son lives in Manhattan, Becker misses little things like getting her hair cut; going to Ashley’s, her favorite grocery store in South Orange village; and treating herself to banana walnut pancakes at the Blue Moon Diner. Now she watches a lot of news, posts about politics on Facebook (“not cat videos”), and streams Netflix at night. Melancholy, she said, is always lurking in the back of her mind. “I can go from feeling, you know, absolutely normal to, you know, sadness.” Even though Becker is in touch with a social worker, she said, “It’s really hard. You know, I, I don’t know when I’m going to see my son again.” Said Lenore Berkman, 93, who also lives at Village Apartments, “We have to look for things to keep our minds busy, and that’s what I’m trying to do.” Now she’s working on a family tree, reading, and knitting, and when the weather’s nice she takes a half-hour walk outside (she walks in the hallways when it isn’t). Berkman’s also able to see her daughter when she drops by to deliver groceries or prescriptions. “We stand six feet apart,” Berkman said with a wistful laugh, grateful to see her daughter, even in this limited way. “She puts the bag of groceries down, I pick it up. And that’s about it. We wave to one another.” Still, she tries to stay upbeat, and to that end enjoys watching N.Y. Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s daily briefings. “He gives everybody hope,” she said. “And we’re all hoping, of course, that we get through this.” Mildred Feldstein, 93, who lives in The Margaret & Martin Heller Independent Living Apartments in Whippany, part of JCHC, misses the daily activities and dinners when she would

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Separation tough on the family

“I decided I’m a strong person,” said Mildred Feldstein, 93, who lives in the Lester Senior Housing Community in Whippany. PHOTO COURTESY DEBBIE LEVINE

“I’m terrified,” said Sari Becker, 69, of South Orange, about leaving her apartment. spend an hour with other residents. Now, she said, the hallways and card room are empty, and there is no congregating in the lobby. “You have to figure out how to keep your mind open,” she said. Feldstein reads, emails friends, cleans her apartment, and does her laundry, and she volunteers in the building’s country store four hours a week. She also participates in the community’s lectures and exercise classes offered over the phone. Her positive attitude is no accident. “I decided I’m a strong person,” she said with a chuckle. That truth is confirmed by her life story: She graduated City College of New York with a degree in accounting and became a CPA at a time when women were not welcome in the field. She worked for accounting firms throughout her life — including while Feldstein was raising kids, when she said they sent work home for her.

Doris B. Katz, 90, lives at Winchester Gardens, a retirement community in Maplewood. She left her home in Queens in 2018 to be near her daughter and son-in-law, Tracy and Fred Levine of Millburn, and their two college-aged children. Before the novel coronavirus, Levine would normally see her mother once or twice a week — they’d run errands, grab a meal, or see a show. “Just spending time together has been a pillar of life for her,” said Levine. Now, the situation is challenging; they haven’t seen each other in person in weeks. “I do feel depressed and lonely, but everybody else does in this crazy world we’re in now,” said Katz. “It’s such a frightening thing.” And although there are “no [communal] meals, and no activities, and no socializing” at Winchester Gardens, she insisted that she can take care of herself. “Doris gets along with Doris, and that’s the key,” Katz said, explaining that she is content with herself and is not looking for new relationships at this stage of her life, so being alone and not leaving her room is not so terrible. She watches what she calls “garbage television” when she wants to unwind, and also spends time reading the newspaper and talking on the phone. She called her daughter and son-in-law “my rocks,” and added that the “real prize is my grandchildren.” Recently Levine set up WiFi, an iPad, and Zoom for her so they could be together, virtually, while lighting Shabbat candles. Katz offers a brave, even tough façade. An only child, she described having to verbally defend herself against other kids who called her names on the playground. She made a career for herself on the business side of television, worked until the day she gave birth, and then, instead of taking the six-month leave she had planned, went back to work when Tracy, her only child, was just 2 months old. “I was a little bored,” she said of being home with an infant. In spite of her mother’s resiliency, Levine worries that Katz isn’t eating enough or remembering to stay in her room. She also frets that her mom’s days are unstructured, and that “she’s very bored.” Although the Levines considered having Katz move in with them, they are concerned her exposure to them will get her sick. “I think the hardest thing is understanding the risks,” said Levine. “I really want to see her — is there a way I could see her or have her come outside and we see each other from a distance? But again, what’s the risk of her coming out of her apartment and coming down in the elevator and coming through the lobby?”

Levine joined an online caregiver support group through Winchester, and she said that at least she can see her mother over Zoom. Even so, she said, “I just want to have more shared time together.”

Keeping seniors mentally active

JCHC executive director Harold Colton-Max said the emphasis of JCHC has been on measures to keep residents physically healthy, from increasing cleanings to prohibiting all outside visitors (except home health aides) from the buildings. Among all the JCHC buildings, only residents of Lester Senior Housing Community in Whippany — which includes Weston Assisted Living Residence and Heller Independent Living — have tested positive for Covid-19, and the number of cases is limited: Beginning in mid-March, nine residents of Weston Assisted Living Residence tested positive, seven died, and two recovered. Among the Weston staff, nine tested positive and all recovered and have since returned to work, according to Colton-Max. When he spoke with NJJN in mid-May, just one resident in Heller Independent Living — who has since recovered — had tested positive. The last positive test among staff or residents occurred in mid-April, Colton-Max said. “To the best of

Doris B. Katz, at right, celebrates in January her 90th birthday with daughter Tracy Levine. our knowledge, no other residents tested positive” after that. Colton-Max said he is concerned by the challenges the pandemic poses to healthy residents. “Social isolation is a very serious concern, and there’s a clear connection between people’s men-

tal state and their physical wellbeing,” he said. “And isolation tends to make that worse.” To address the isolation, JCHC has developed what they are calling the “Friendly Callers Program,” in which volunteers call seniors who have requested the service. He hopes the calls might not only lift spirits and provide connections, but also lead to relationships that last beyond the current crisis. So far, about 50

community members have been making calls , including some Russian speakers. In addition, residents have received a variety of resources and things to keep themselves busy, from crossword puzzles to adult coloring pages. The stay-at-home orders are “particularly difficult” for seniors who are uncomfortable utilizing smartphones or iPads to interact with loved ones, according to Amanda Kielbania, a licensed clinical social worker who works with older adults at Jewish Family Service of MetroWest NJ. She estimates that 50-60 percent of her clients are using Zoom. She offered some suggestions for keeping loneliness at bay: For those who can Zoom, she suggested getting in touch with JFS to join one of their groups (email jfsgroups@jfsmetrowest.org or call Daphne Berkovits, coordinator of group services, at 973-765-9050, ext. 1758). For others, Kielbania recommends trying to stay connected to family and friends via telephone; having local libraries deliver books when possible; doing puzzles; and limiting news intake. “Watching the news constantly can really be a trigger for so many people,” she said. But she also acknowledged that for seniors, there is still a looming question, more relevant to them than anyone else. “They’re wondering, is there ever going to be a point in my life when things are normal again?” n jginsberg@njjewishnews.com

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Table for … none

N.Y. restaurant owners looking for creative solutions to stay afloat in corona-fueled downturn and other traditional deli offerings have made their way to California, Arizona, and Texas. By going nationwide, the owners have managed to keep all of their staff on board. “Our employees are our family,” said Dekel. “They don’t just come and go. We have been loyal to them just as they have been loyal to us.”

Rachel Ringler Special to NJJN

all Street Grill — kosher, luxe, and serving hedge funders and financial analysts — is temporarily shuttered after only a year in business. “Right now, nobody is Coronavirus coming back to work on Wall Street,” Steven Traube, a partner in the restaurant, told NJJN. Two of the better-known New York kosher eateries have also closed their doors for good. The Brooklyn location of the kosher steakhouse Wolf & Lamb closed temporarily at first but recently made it final. The same goes for in-house dining at Abigael’s on Broadway, run by celebrity chef Jeff Nathan. And just two months ago, restaurateur and cookbook author Einat Admony had seven Middle Eastern restaurants in her New York food empire — Balaboosta, Kish Kash, and five locations of Taim, her vegetarian eateries that serve falafel with all the fixings. Today, Balaboosta and Kish Kash are temporarily closed, and only two of Taim’s doors in New York remain open, with help from philanthropists. From Midtown Manhattan to Avenue U in Brooklyn to the Bukharian neighborhood in Rego Park, Queens, Jewish restaurants, like the wider dining world, are buckling under the coronavirus pandemic. Each restaurant is looking for creative solutions to stay afloat. Some are finding relief thanks to communal support. “Once customers are again allowed to sit in restaurants, we plan to reopen,” said Wall Street Grill’s Traube. “We might limit in the beginning to become a mini catering hall, serving all of the people who have had weddings or bat and bar mitzvahs in the last few months. Perhaps small private family events of 50 or 60 people. We will focus on that at first. For now, we are closed. We had to let go all 66 of our employees.” Industry watchers are taking note of the carnage in stark, Darwinian terms. “It’s survival of the fittest,” said

Food for the frontlines

Wall Street Grill hopes to re-open as a catering hall for small parties. Elan Kornblum, publisher and president of Great Kosher Restaurants Media Group. “Everyone is trying to hustle and do what they can.” Menachem Lubinsky, president and CEO of Lubicom Marketing Consulting and a close watcher of the kosher food industry, was a little more sanguine. “Most of the restaurants in the five boroughs adapted to the idea of take-out and pick up, and some of them did quite well with it,” he told NJJN. “The question is whether this model will outlast the Covid crisis…. “There will be some closures, but overall I think there will be a reset,” Lubinsky continued. “The restaurants that have the wherewithal to survive will survive and probably will grow. New guys will try to fill in the spaces where old people left. The question is how they will adapt to the new social milieu. Cut down capacity by half? Require masks?” Although Nathan, the executive chef and co-owner of Abigael’s, closed the brick-and-mortar restaurant (he had been planning to close in December because of a rent hike), he and his team will continue to provide kosher meals to Madison Square Garden, hotels, restaurants, and catering halls in collaboration with Park East Kosher Butcher on

Manhattan’s Upper East Side. In Midtown Manhattan, the kosher Barnea Bistro, which recently doubled in size by expanding to space next door, is closed but, as of last week, has a take-out menu. According to owner and founder Josh Kessler, you can order a 21stcentury “TV dinner” made up of a main course and two side dishes. The restaurant offers delivery to the five boroughs, northern New Jersey, Long Island, and Westchester. Jay and Lloyd’s Kosher Deli on Avenue U has recently reopened for takeout. Owner Jay Stern streamlined the deli’s menu. “We are doing strictly pick-up and delivery. Of course, no dining room. I do have a dining room but right now it’s attracting cobwebs,” he said. Stern reduced the restaurant’s hours and may soon cut a day off its schedule. On one hand, he’s trying to keep his workers on, but on the other hand the workers often don’t want to commute for fear of their own safety. Nina and Yuval Dekel, the owners of the kosher Liebman’s Deli in the Riverdale section of the Bronx, have been busy with nationwide shipping via Goldbelly, an online marketplace for regional and artisanal foods. Thanks to Goldbelly, Liebman’s pastrami, corned beef,

Two of Admony’s Taim locations are surviving in large part thanks to support from the Jewish Food Society (JFS) and The Paul E. Singer Foundation in partnership with Feed the Frontlines NYC. The Feed the Frontlines program buys food from area restaurants and delivers it to health-care workers, helping keep the restaurants afloat. Other restaurants involved in this effort include Russ & Daughters, Katz’s Delicatessen, the modern Middle Eastern Lamalo, and Modern Bread & Bagel and its sister restaurant, Arba, which serves modern Israeli cuisine. According to Admony, Taim provides between 200-300 meals a day — dishes like falafel, sabich (an Iraqi sandwich stuffed with eggplant, boiled egg, hummus, and Israeli salad), and cauliflower shwarma. In Rego Park, Queens, the Isr a e l o v f a m i l y, o w n e r s o f t h e Bukharian glatt kosher restaurant Ganey Orly, began donating food to health-care heroes early on. “Originally, we didn’t expect anyone to pay for the food we donated,” said Eytan Israelov, son of the owner and founder. “We did it out of the goodness of our hearts. I’m a nursing student. We have nurses, doctors, and pharmacists in the family. The first 250 meals were donated by us. We then started a fundraiser, and in a bit more than a month we have donated more than 1,200 meals to 35 hospitals in the New York area.” Health-care workers received dishes like plov, a Bukharian dish made with rice, meat, and carrots, or dumplings stuffed with meat and accompanied by salads. And they didn’t have to be Jewish — or keep kosher. For regular customers, dishes are available for pick-up or delivery.

Continued on page 25

THURSDAY, JUNE 4, 2020 6:00 PM Opening Remarks by

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IN CONVERSATION WITH Andrew Silow-Carroll Jewish Week Editor in Chief

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THOMAS FRIEDMAN COVID: THE GLOBAL CHALLENGE

Join us for a powerful virtual evening with Pulitzer Prize-winning NYT columnist Tom Friedman. We’ll discuss, and take your questions, on the global ramifications of this age of uncertainty: the impact on globalization, the role and challenges of leadership — and where we will wind up when the storm clouds of the coronavirus pass.

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in advance. At prices this low, every occasion is the perfect time to give a gift subscription to The Jewish Week. Why not do it today? Research Center in 2013. “It does not mean that we do not support inclusivity. We do,” he wrote. “It does not mean that we are racists. We are not. If you think there is something wrong with the 6%, call Pew. We just reminded people that that is what Pew said. We did not come up with our own number. We simply reported a number from a reliable source.” There is a lot going on here. On one side is the wonky work of Jewish demography, which

studies conducted by white, typically Ashkenazi Jews reflect the biases of their authors, and systematically under-represent the Jewish Continued from page 1 community’s diversity. a time when Jews Will OUAt Oust Shuls With Wom Dashefsky, put the number at closer to 6 perwith African-American, Hispanic, en Clergy? and Asian Concern whether visits to four congregations will lead to cent, saying the 2019 study overrepresented backgrounds are seeking acceptance and recompromise or punitive acti on. major metropolitan areas like New York and spect within Jewish communities, many readSan Francisco. ers the article sent the message that L Trumargued, p’s First Trip: In to Beliterally lly Of The Be Activists, both Jews of color and their allies, they do not count. ast Will Mideast swin g move past symbolism and into peadidn’t were furious. An online protest letter said the It also help that the article landed in cemaking? article “illustrates how racism drives Jews of the middle of the coronavirus crisis, with the Itoll of the illness falling disproportionately on Color away from Jewish communal life — by judging or devaluing their place in the comAfrican Americans and Hispanics. Groups repOresenting n A Jam WithJews of color, like the Boston-based munity.” April Baskin, who formerly directed RoDimensions, ller Derby’s MO are concerned the data could be diversity and outreach efforts at the Union for Ts Gotham Girls Jew ish jammers and blockers talk abo ut faith, pride and gettused Reform Judaism, tweeted, “Questioning our suggest that racial disparities aren’t a ing up off theto deck. numbers in a time of scarcity is a shameful “Jewish” problem. I I feel for Sheskin and Dashefsky, who I power play.” Tema Smith, writing in The Forward, charged that the authors glossed over think genuinely believed they were contribut“methodological concerns” in the demographic ing important data to a community conversaCELEBRATE studies they relied on for their analysis. tion and didn’t intend anybody. JERUSA LEM toMamarginalize y 21, 2017 ZAMIR CHORALE Call 212870One of the angriest responses came from As they were careful to write in their original 3335 ZAMIR NODED HAZAMIR Rabbi Rick Jacobs, president of the URJ, andGive A Gift Subscription To: article, “responsible planning by the Ameria colleague there, Chris Harrison. “Articles can Jewish community demands recognition like Sheskin and Dashefsky’s are indicative of that not all Jews are of Eastern Europe and the fear that resides in many white-dominatedName Ashkenazi origin; and future research on spaces and are reactionary to the work that American Jews needs to be sensitive to disorganizations like ours seek to do: the work ofAddress cerning Jews of Color.” They didn’t deserve Apt. No. disrupting oppression within our communities, is a bit of a Jewish obsession. Numbers help to be charged by Jacobs and Harrison with addressing unearned power and privilege, andCity/State/Zip determine the distribution of millions of dol- “white intellectualism intended to diminish reacknowledging our actual Jewish diversity,” lars in charitable giving. Demographers like search conducted by and about Jews of Color” Provide an e-mailare address get demand our online newsletter FREE! they wrote. Sheskin in and high by communities (emphasis added). In his responses at eJewish Philanthropy, trying to figure out how to set their priorities, As a journalist I want to report the most A Gift Sheskin appears genuinely baffled that his ar-Giveserve theSubscription underserved, To: and spend their money accurate numbers; studies and surveys should ticle attracted so much animus. He said he was wisely. never be taken at face value. We also need to only sharing numbers that came from the Pew Many Jews of color, meanwhile, insist that be on the lookout for “solution aversion,” when Name people reject scientific or academic evidence if it is tied to a finding they don’t like. Address Apt. No. But journalists, like pollsters, have their Please fill out the form below. own biases, conscious and otherwise. As a City/State/Zip white Ashkenazi Jew, I have had a steep learnName of Gift Recipient ing curve in understanding the concerns of Provide an e-mail address and get our online newsletter FREE! Jews of color. Questions I would normally conAddress of Gift Recipient Apt. No. sider well-meaning or innocuous — including “What’sYour your Name Jewish&story?” — can sound like 1. No. of subscriptions $36 ea. Address: City/State/Zip a challenge to someone who is conscious of being inName the minority. As Allison Barnes put Your Name 2. Total order =$ it in a recent Kveller essay, “What Not to Say Address Apt. No. to Jews of Color — and What to Say Instead,” Your Email and/or Phone Number such questions “can feel like a really aggres3. Choose payment method: City/State/Zip Choose payment method: sive interview for a job you don’t even want.” SUBSCRIPTION RATES FOR Writing about lastaddress week’s Marc FREE! Provide an e-mail andcontroversy, get our online newsletter NEW SUBSCRIBERS L. Dollinger of San Francisco State University GREATER METROWEST EDITION Card Number Expiration Date Card Number Exp. Date warned Send fellowTo: Jewish communal researchers, “We need to open ourselves up to the possibilCheck Enclosed OUT OF STATE IN STATE 1501 Broadway, Suite 505, New York, NY, 10036 Signature ity that our otherwise solid academic work mailing address mailing address *Savings off regular $49.00 subscription price. Please allow up to 4 weeks for delivery of first issue. www.thejewishweek.com 05P17 plays out differently in the real world than we Check Enclosed (made payable to JWMG, LLC.) (within U.S.) initially imagined. When we write about numChoose subscription rate: 1 year $52 1 year $56 bers, we are writing about people. And when 1 year 2 years 3 years 2 years $84 our writing causes even unintended harm, we 2 years $92 need to rethink our assumptions.” 3 years $125 3 years $136 Please mail to: This debate over counting Jews of color is Please allow 3-4 weeks for delivery of first issue. NJ Jewish News - Subscriptions an opportunity not to opine but to listen. ■

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President Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu the White House at in February. Witho ut a clear Mideast Trump’s upcoming policy, visit raises many questions. G E T T Y I M AGES

Israel Looms Betw Macron And Jews een Int’l 26

Journalists,

like pollsters,

Joshua Mitnick Contributing Edito r

t was a thorn in U.S.-Israel relations for years. Right or wrong, former President Barack Obama’s decision, right at the start of his presidency, to visit Muslim nations around the Middle East while skipping Israel was seen

as an affront and vote of noconfidence in the U.S. ally. By the time Obama did visit in the first months of his second term, the scar had never healed. Now, in a contra st with his predecessor, Presid ent Donald Trump is plann ing a quick swing through Israel first trip abroad since on his his inauContinued on page 23

Gary Rosenbla tt Editor and Publi sher

ess than three month s after the Ortho dox Union issued a halachic prohibition against women serving in clerical roles, three leader s of the influential nation al body have begun meeti ng with the rabbis of the four OUmember synagogues in the U.S. that employ women clergy, The Jewis h Week has learned. Some believe the visits may be a first step toward Between punitive The Lines m e a sures, and possible expul sion, Rabba Sara for congregations Hurwitz: “Glad to that do know that the OU is finally not conform with meetthe OU’s ing a few of [Yeshivat Maha Continued on page rat’s] 7 graduates.” Y E S H I V AT M AH

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Hannah Dreyfus Staff Writer

f you want to play roller derby, you better get comf ortable with gettin g knocked down. The same goes for being Jewish, said Gotham Girls roller derby skater Dara Fineman, who goes by the treif but lovably campy monik er Hebrew Ham Lin-

coln on the track. “To play derb

you have to be tough . A recent practice You have to have in Williamsburg: a Wearing religion pads. H A N N A H D R E Y F thick skin, so you on their US/JW can get back up again when you fall down ,” said Fineman, 28, Fineman — who who joined the Gotha paints a Star of David m over her left Girls league in Febru eye — is not the only ary. “Those are Jewplayer to ish traits. As a people proudly sport her , we fall down but Judais m on the oval. The we 102-player keep surviving.” league, which is ranked No. 1 Contin ued on page 20

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Andrew Silow-Carroll is editor and chief of The New York Jewish Week, NJJN’s sister publication. He served as NJJN editor for 13 years.

Shabbat

Continued from page 4 her family to try something that might be more appropriate for the present circumstances by including a discussion, reading parts of the service in English, or even reading a smaller section of Torah to facilitate a focus on content. “Since we have the freedom to redefine, it may serve us well to reimagine services in a way that is more engaging and meaningful during this period when we don’t have the standard communal services,” she said. All of Haas’ subjects told her they felt something was missing from their Shabbat experience, such as communal prayer, social time with friends and family, or a sense of spiritual uplift. One interviewee misses the structure that Shabbat provides, feeling in its absence a void that isn’t experienced during the week. Jews across denominations are using technology to keep communal life flourishing, but for those in Orthodox and some Conservative congregations, video conferencing apps are prohibited on Shabbat and holidays. Some told Haas that not using technology was a “blessing” while others said it made them feel isolated. And one non-halachically observant Jew told Haas she stopped using technology on Shabbat during the pandemic in order to spend more time with family. Overall, the individuals she interviewed expressed

JFS MetroWest appoints new executive board JEWISH FAMILY SERVICE of MetroWest hosted on May 11 its annual installation meeting at its final board meeting of the fiscal year. The following individuals have been elected to assume leadership as trustees on the board: President: Melanie Levitan President Elect: Andrea G. Bier Senior Vice Presidents: Lisa Lindauer, Carrie Nussbaum Vice Presidents: Linda Jacobs, David Sorkin Treasurer: Fred Cohen Assistant Treasurer: Steven Glass Secretary: Rachel G. Wilf Presidential Appointments: Eta Levenson, Jed Marcus Immediate Past President: Marion Medow Board appointments for 2020-2021 include Pam Fishman, Robin Polson, Rachel Braverman, Emily Kirshenbaum, Michael Levinson, Larry Rein, Mark Roffman, Judy Zaks, Steven Glass, Ellen Legow, Rita Yohalem, Shari Brandt, Robert Marcus, and Jeff Shapiro. Michael Elchoness, Brynn Friedman, and Sandi Z. Rosenbaum retired from their positions. For more information, call 973-765-9050 or visit jfsmetrowest.org.

mixed reactions to live prayer services that are streamed via videoconferencing apps such as Zoom. “People said they appreciated the fact that there were communal services, but that they didn’t feel much like the real thing,” Haas said. Nonetheless, some people did report that they had been part of “spiritually moving and extremely uplifting online services,” crediting community leaders who “really tried to play to the advantages of the technical platform they used and not stick exactly to how the service would usually look.” For instance, one rabbi urged members to go outside to greet Shabbat during the singing of “Lecha Dodi” on Friday evening, and another replaced communal singing, which can be challenging to coordinate with delays on Zoom, with having various members share thoughts and reflections. “Community members have been willing to reimagine what Shabbat will look like on this new platform,” said Haas. “That is allowing services to be meaningful in new ways, even if they can’t replicate what it was like before the pandemic.” Accessibility was reported as another perk of technology. It allows people to attend services anywhere that utilize streaming, including their childhood synagogues or one “they’ve always wanted to attend but never could,” Haas told NJJN. Plus it gives those who are raising young children access to services with the convenience of remaining at home. Haas observed that the changes they’ve been forced

to make because of the pandemic could build empathy for women in Orthodox communities; under normal circumstances, some women feel marginalized because their religious obligations are different than those of men. “Coronavirus is putting everyone in that position of being distanced from community experiences,” Haas said, and she hopes that when Jewish communal life begins to normalize, “these developments have the potential to encourage greater interest in dialogue on the importance of accessibility.” Another positive outcome of quarantine and social distancing she found since her research is that since Shabbat is no longer filled with attending services and entertaining, there was widespread agreement that “Shabbat has become a more calm and familyoriented time.” All of her interviewees are already thinking about which new rituals they’d consider keeping even after the pandemic. One young adult from a Reform background said she has enjoyed Friday night meals with her parents and now expects these meals will replace attending synagogue services as the central focus of her Shabbat experiences. “The fact that people are being forced to adjust their religious practices is opening their minds to other ways Shabbat can look like,” Haas said. “As things transition back, people will remember these other modalities of Shabbat, and maybe there are things they will carry with them.” ■

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Covid teaches the virtue of the virtual

oom funerals, once unthinkable, have in just over three months developed their own rituals and customs. Mourners log onto the video site. A rabbi or other officiant welcomes the assembled with gentle reminders to put themselves on mute. Close relatives pop up on the “speaker’s view” screen and offer eulogies. Attendees type memories and condolences in the chat feature. The service concludes with the sad reminder that the burial and even shiva will be private, and an invitation for guests to take themselves off of mute and share words with close friends and family. The Zoom funeral may be the most dramatic example of the unprecedented adaptations to the reality of social distancing. Teachers are discovering, and sometimes lamenting, the skills needed to orchestrate learning from a f a r. O r g a n i z a tions are trying to raise funds and maintain momentum when their employees — the ones who haven’t been furloughed — are working from home. Outside of wartime it is hard to recall another moment when Jewish communal life changed so abruptly and adapted so quickly and creatively to unforeseen events. In one of the most dramatic of these changes, the Conservative movement gave the green light for its rabbis to hold Shabbat and High Holiday services on Zoom and other video applications. The centrist movement weighed halacha, or Jewish law, against the social and emotional pressures of forcing observant Jews to spend these holy days in isolation. Balancing good against good, their rabbis allowed an emergency accommodation to a once-unimaginable circumstance. The lockdowns have also inspired the kinds of creativity that

won’t be forgotten — or abandoned — even after the crisis passes. Every Jewish group, from the tiniest synagogue to the largest organization, is drawing big crowds with live, online content produced fairly cheaply and distributed for free. One outstanding example is The Great Big Jewish Food Fest, held May 19-28, which featured lectures and workshops from celebrity chefs as well as shared dinners and happy hours. Everything took place on Zoom, Instagram, and Facebook. There was even fundraising for a restaurant workers’ relief fund, the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, Mazon, and Repair the World. With over two dozen partner foundations and organizations, the fest showed how a diverse community can cooperate on programming that is global, upbeat, educational, and deeply affirming of Jewish values. Jews, it seems, crave these connections, in-person or virtually. The Pew Research Center recently found that among 12 religious groups, Jewish Americans were among the most likely to say their lives changed significantly under lockdown — and were most likely to use, and depend, on email or messaging services regularly during the pandemic. Samuel J. Abrams, a visiting scholar at the American Enterprise Institute who analyzed the data for the Forward, said the findings make clear that “the community’s desire to remain connected — albeit virtually — is unmistakable.” Despite politicized calls to end the lockdowns, virtual connections will be necessary for the foreseeable future. When the crisis passes, we may rush to get back together, but with the knowledge of how well we can function when we are apart. ■

The crisis is

demonstrating

our instinct for connectivity.

Letters to the Editor Nazis are universal cancer

Regarding Jonathan Tobin’s “When does protesting pandemic restrictions become anti-Semitic?”, trivializing the Holocaust indeed sets Jewish teeth at edge, so when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez likened the illegal alien detention centers to the concentration camps we Jews needed bite guards (Opinion, April 23). But to take claim to Jews being the only victims of the Nazis trivializes the Holocaust equally. Let us not forget that the entire Western world was brutalized during World War II. The Holocaust is tragically our unique story but the Nazis were and are a universal cancer. A sign like “Heil Witmer” with a swastika painted on it is a sign expressing contempt for Michigan’s Gov. Gretchen Whitmer. Let’s not lose sight that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Dahlia Peyser Mountain Lakes

Presidents Conference should bar abusers

Your editorial congratulating Dianne Lob on her selection as chair-elect of the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations argued that as just “the third woman to serve as chair” of the conference, “she’ll bring fresh perspective to a field where a small minority of women hold top leadership positions,” (“Conference of Presidents names the right chair,” April 23). We hope that Lob’s fresh perspective will include a recognition of the urgency of addressing the crisis of sexual harassment and abuse in Jewish professional life. In recent years, a number of important figures in our community have been revealed as sexual abusers. Unfortunately, not all Jewish organizations and institutions have taken meaningful measures in response to these revelations. We urge the Conference of Presidents to lead the way by adopting a policy of barring from its activities any Jewish organizational representative who has committed sexual harassment or assault. Such a policy would set an example of leadership on this critical issue for zero tolerance of sexual harassment or abuse in Jewish communal life. It would also ensure that the Jewish community can have full confidence in the integrity of those who represent our interests. Rafael Medoff Susannah Heschel Shulamit Magnus Thane Rosenbaum Steering Committee Committee on Ethics in Jewish Leadership

No stereotyping on ‘SNL’

It’s nasty work, but someone must comment on Eli Reiter’s misguided essay about Larry David’s send-up of Bernie Sanders on “Saturday Night Live” (“SNL”) (Exit Ramp, “Retiring Larry David’s Bernie just in time,” May 7). Reiter writes, “In David’s hands (and mouth), Sanders is merely ‘The Jew’ — the old, wild-haired, difficult germaphobe who has big ears and says ‘oy’ every third sentence.” What are you talking about? Clearly, this is your vision of “The Jew,” not David’s. I have seen his Sanders impersonation many times and it never occurred to me that he was portraying Jewish stereotypes. Nor have I heard that observation from anyone else. Instead, what we see is a dead-on characterization of Sanders with a few exaggerations in keeping with the essence of satire — not a stereotype of “The Jew.” The idea that Reiter would shlep Nazi iconography, the Aalst parades, and cultural genocide into an “SNL” skit is laughable. And, wanting to “shelve” Jewish stereotypes is a cruel disservice to his own people. Jewish writers and comedians have a long and glorious history of finding humor in their culture. Woody Allen, Jackie Mason, Neil Simon, Joan Rivers, Mel Brooks, Fran Drescher, Lewis Black ... shall I go on? Reiter would deprive the world of these and other artists because he has an issue with Jewish stereotypes. Larry David is imitating Sanders, not Jewish stereotypes. If that is a problem I have a suggestion: Contact Sanders and ask him to refrain from acting like such a Jew. Problem solved. Carolyn Marlow Livingston

Send letters to the editor to editorial@njjewishnews.com without attachments. Indicate “letter” in the subject line of the e-mail. Include your full name, place of residence, and daytime telephone number. If you are referring to an article in NJJN, please include the headline and edition and date of the paper in which it appeared. Letters also can be mailed to Letters to the Editor, New Jersey Jewish News, 1719 Route 10, Parsippany, NJ 07054; or faxed to 973-887-5999. NJJN reserves the right to edit letters for length, clarity, content, and accuracy.

Coping without camp Here’s how Jewish parents can rise to the challenge Nancy Kislin JTA

he announcement that most Jewish summer camps will be closed this year has been tough on parents around the country. If we could just have this one little remainder of normalcy, we told ourselves, we’d be fine. But as with virtually every other aspect of this pandemic, reality hasn’t conformed to our expectations. Despite the sadness and even the despair we may feel, parents, community members, and leaders must help kids process this trauma, make the most of this summer, and grow through this difficult period. Jewish sleepaway camp is so much more than a fun way to spend the summer. It’s about connecting to the traditions of our past, to the communities of our present, and building relationships for the future. For me, the Reform movement’s Eisner Camp was my childhood home, the place I returned to as a counselor and, later, as a camp therapist. Camp became the place that ignited my soul with Jewish melodies, a love of Israel, social justice, and the power of learning and implementing leadership skills. It helped me raise my daughters, both longtime campers, and connected me with lifelong friends in a shared mission to make the world a better place. For my “girls” (now accomplished women), it was — and will be — many of these same things. The significance of what camp represents cannot be understated. Our children are experiencing a collective disappointment, no matter their age. The loss is enormous — in an overly connected world, camp is one of the only times our kids get to live without devices, and allows the time and space to explore who they are without the pressure of school or organized team sports.

Parents figuring out how to support t h e i r c h i l d r e n d u ring this time should remember that every child’s needs are different. Simply being present for your kids can go a long way; you don’t need to immediately rush into “fix-it” mode. Create space for your child to express their feelings. Ask open-ended questions to celebrate and acknowledge what camp has meant: “Can you share with me what it was like to celebrate Shabbat at camp? Maybe we can have a similar celebration at home.” Ultimately, what do children need when they are confronted with disappointment? A listening ear, an open heart, warm arms to hug, empathy, and patience. Once you’ve helped your kids through the initial shock, you can focus on nurturing in your kids a quality that will serve them for life: resilience. We all know that life delivers hard knocks. While a tough life lesson for anyone, the idea of disappointment is something we will all experience, multiple times, in our lifetimes. Teaching our children how to meet challenges they’ll face is tough work, but it’s essential. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this process begins with you. You have to break through the fears, anxieties, traumas (past and present), and old emotional patterns that keep you from bringing your whole self — vulnerable, confident, imperfect, and intact — to your relationship with your child. You can do this by acknowledging your own emotions — whether you’re sad or disappointed, despairing or feeling helpless. Recognize that those are all valid and natural. Give yourself the space to be with those emotions, neither denying them nor pushing them away. And then, before you interact with your child, set those

emotions aside so that you can be present and whole in that interaction. Your child will feel the difference; just as important, you will, too. Once you’re on more stable footing, you can tap your resources and creativity to bring the fun, learning, and connection your children usually get from camp. This might be trips into nature or playing games or sports together. You can sing camp songs or explore Israeli culture and food. There’s the healing power of arts and crafts. There’s meditation, prayer, and other forms of worship. Making the most of this summer will be about getting your child outside and into a camp-like “spirit.” Most important of all, think about how you can engage your child to participate in doing

tikkun olam, the act of repairing the world. Each step will require vulnerability and confidence. There is no perfect solution and the sadness is real. But for each disappointment, we can look to new opportunities and create new traditions and memories, if only for this summer. The key is to embrace that childlike willingness to try — and to enjoy the journey, even when the path ahead is so unknown. n Nancy Kislin, LCSW, MFT, is a leading expert in cultivating resiliency in an age of uncertainty. She is the author of “Lockdown: Ta l k i n g t o Yo u r K i d s A b o u t School Violence,” a book that examines the psychological and emotional impact of “lockdown culture” on kids. She lives in Short Hills.

For Those Who Value Community

The preferred career resource for the Jewish community. lsirois@njjewishnews.com | 973-739-8113

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Opinion

NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

Opinion

Bedouin women find their voice in Israeli elections laborers don’t come to work, they needn’t bother coming back the next morning. It is entirely possible that the men are voting in one location while the wives are from a different tribe voting at another polling station. And they can’t take a cab, because there are none in those villages. Yet here’s why I was so proud and happy: This volunteer effort was shared society in action. It reached thousands of women from the unrecognized villages, and Jewish women used their own cars and gas to drive the Bedouin women to the correct polling sites.

Phyllis Bernstein Special to NJJN

n February I traveled to Israel for five weeks — I returned midMarch, shortly before stay-at-home orders were enacted in New Jersey — primarily as a volunteer to speak and teach English to First Person Bedouin children living in the Negev. But I was also honored to witness many Bedouin women voting for the first time in the Israeli elections held in March. My four weeks with Bedouin students were productive and rewarding. I spent one week at an elementary school in Rahat and three weeks at Ahed High School for Science. The Ahed students exhibited intellectual curiosity and have confidence to inspire fellow students to lead and think creatively. They are also poised to contribute meaningfully to society as they are working hard to earn high grades and are committed to public health by studying to become doctors, surgeons, pharmacists, and nurses. Even within the context of the dismal news about the Bedouins’ state of affairs — including high poverty, poor access to education, and high rates of the coronavirus — my meetings with Israeli Bedouin students and their families were truly inspirational. I’m confident I did my part last year to ask everyone in the Bedouin community to vote in the elections. Judging by their low turnout during the April 2019 election, the overwhelming Negev Bedouin response then to voting was “no.” This time everyone I spoke to said “yes.” For most of my trip I stayed in different villages with Bedouin families, and I was thrilled to witness democracy in action as I watched my host’s mother, a teacher, put her ballot into the box at the polling station in Rahat. Following a visit to her relative, which included a home-cooked meal, they drove me to Beersheva. There I connected with other members of the Social Venture Fund for Jewish-Arab Equality and Shared Society, a project of the Jewish Funders Network which is sponsored by over 20 federations, foundations, and individuals, including Jewish Federation of Greater MetroWest NJ and UJA-Federation of NY. We

Hanan Alsanah, a activist and lawyer, gives instructions to volunteers trying to increase the voter turnout for Bedouin women. PHOTOS COURTESY PHYLLIS BERNSTEIN

headed to the village of Segev Shalom to meet Jewish and Bedouin women dedicated to empowering women in their community. At the welcome tent, the headquarters of a Bedouin voter turnout drive, we met Shuli Dichter, a veteran of many Arab-Jewish joint activities. Volunteers on laptops and telephones were organizing the volunteer drivers — all Jewish women — to take women from unrecognized villages where about 90,000 Bedouin live. We also met with Yeela Raanan from the Regional Council of Unrecognized Villages, and Hanan Alsanah, a Bedouin activist and lawyer. Raanan and Alsanah told us that historically 80 percent of the women in the unrecognized villages didn’t vote. One reason is

because voters in unrecognized villages are assigned to polling places according to their Bedouin tribe, not where they live, and so neighbors are often sent to different locations. Second, unrecognized villages are often a distance from the local highways — as far as 10 miles away, and access to them is by gravel or dirt road. Cars can reach them with difficulty; public transportation doesn’t exist. Alsanah told us that women needed their husbands to drive them to polling sites, but the men couldn’t afford to take time off from work to drive them to vote and return them home. It can take up to two hours. Election Day is officially a vacation day in Israel, but as Alsanah pointed out, if Bedouin

Jewish and Bedouin volunteers at the Segev Shalom volunteer call center.

Saeed Alkharumi (left), a Bedouin member of Knesset, with a supporter on Israel’s election day in March. In the evening, Dichter organized a ride for us to a home in one of the unrecognized villages where Bedouin women gathered to be driven to their respective polling stations. Many young children were playing nearby, unaware of this history in the making, and we watched as someone baked bread on an open fire, which lent to the exotic flavor of what I had the privilege to witness. I talked to a teenage girl through her mother. Though the teen had no computer, no internet access, and no cell phone, she wanted to have an American pen pal. As she asked me if this was possible, I asked myself how young people, in such a high-tech nation, could not have access to basic technology. Unrecognized villages are located on land that is either state-owned or private, depending on whose story you accept, but no matter what you believe, Bedouin homes are considered illegal as they were built without permits.

Continued on page 28

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State&Local

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Many seniors are not getting the care they need. If you are concerned that your mom or dad might fall, forget to take their medications, or have trouble with grocery shopping or meal preparation – and you can’t be there, we can.

Safe at Home: The Safest Place You Can Be Since 2001, Seniors In Place has provided millions of hours of in-home care for thousands of New Jersey families. Our caregivers: • Are screened for the coronavirus by our nursing staff • Always wear N95 masks and gloves to contain the spread of the virus • Have been trained, and continuously monitored on COVID-19 and infection control, including the correct way to wash their hands and use Personal Protective Equipment

Seniors In Place – We are a Family Not a Franchise. We are the largest, independent, private duty, health care service firm in the state of New Jersey • In 2018 and 2019, Seniors In Place was honored as New Jersey’s Family Business of the Year Finalist out of 400 candidates • We are Accredited with Distinction by The Commission on Accreditation for Home Care, the largest accrediting body in the state of New Jersey • Our caregivers are our employees, NOT independent contractors. They are statecertified, insured, receive benefits, and are trained and regularly evaluated in our stateof-the-art continuing education center If you are worried about your mom or dad, let our family help your family.

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For Immediate Assistance: Call Our NEW Rapid Response for Home Care Hotline: 24 hours a day / 7 days a week

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Healthy Living MARKETPL ACE

Organized and clutter free — my confession Before I shut down my computer each evening, I print out the next day’s schedule with a list of tasks that I want to accomplish. With “Covid Brain Freeze,” I need my daily list more than ever to keep me on track. If I end up doing something that was not on the list, I add it and cross it out just for the sense of accomplishment that it brings. How have you been spending your free time? What home organizing projects are on your daily list? For me, it has been an opportunity to utilize my organizing skills in my home. For example, I spent time sorting through cartons from my parents’ apartment that I last touched over five years ago. Previously, many items were sold, donated, recycled, or simply tossed. This most recent cataloguing of the cartons yielded more intimate archives of my childhood, such as a box of art projects that I made in kindergarten. My husband was the driver as I navi-

saved very little. At this point in my life, I am past the sentimentality of keeping mementos from my youth. Nor do I suspect my son will want to read through them when I am no longer here. Sheltering in place has allowed me time to face my basement demons with an open mind and a fresh perspective. I too have connections with my stuff. When I am back at work, I will reminisce about sheltering in place as a gift of time to get my home organizing tightened up. How are you spending your time? Keep smiling and happy organizing!

Eileen Bergman gated each box filled with papers, letters, and assorted memorabilia. He recommended next steps for me to ease my conscience as I grappled with decision after decision. I tossed, recycled, and

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Providing compassionate, engaging care with safety in mind “Stay Home and Stay Safe” were powerful directions to save lives, but what about your loved ones, the elderly and infirm? They are the most vulnerable and feel social isolation most. Without the ability to be with family and friends, isolation can take an emotional and physical toll. That’s where Homewatch CareGivers can help. If you are worried about your loved one, in their home or at a senior facility, we can provide the necessary compassionate care they deserve. Our extensive training and care philosophy lead to better, more engaging care for your loved one. And HOME may be the safest place for them at this time. Our licensed and certified home health aides are supervised by a team of nurses who are in constant contact with our caregivers, while our social workers are checking in with family members to ensure everyone is

Homewatch CareGivers social workers and nurses, from left, bottom: Margo Weill, Stacey Chusid, Debbie Ginefra, and Randi Brokman; top, Karen Frank and Jessica Lesnik okay. Our caregivers are supplied with proper PPE and we are continuously readjusting safety protocols in accordance with changing CDC regulations. The safety of your loved one and our caregivers is our main concern. For ease of mind and quality care, contact Homewatch CareGivers at 973-810-0110.

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unique needs. We bridge the way for your coordinated care within our award-winning family of healthcare facilities. Our world-class services, all of which focus on quality, service, and value, are offered within the Bridgeway system. Come to the Bridgeway Care Centers for skilled nursing and rehabilitation, and The Avalons for assisted living and memory care/Alzheimer’s care. From the comfort of your home, you can visit any of our facilities through virtual tours. And if you would like to talk, it’s easy to set up a virtual, face-toface meeting with one of our friendly Community Relations directors Jennifer or Maria. For virtual tours and to schedule a meeting, visit bshcare.com. We look forward to connecting with you!

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Calendar

Due to the outbreak of the coronavirus, most synagogues and organizations have cancelled all in-person activities for the rest of the spring. Some are offering online learning opportunities or plan to reschedule. Please email calendar@njjewishnews.com with online events open to the community. SUNDAY, May 31 “Combat Antisemitism on Campus.” ADL of New York/New Jersey and the Hagalil Region of United Synagogue Youth will hold an event for graduating high school seniors at 7 p.m. Register at forms.gle/nJoCg1MtCPN3xcKS9. For information, contact Eli Gang at egang@ uscj.org. MONDAY, June 1 “Are You Experiencing Relationship Conflicts Due to Covid-19?” Presented by Jewish Family Service of Central NJ (JFSCNJ) and held at 7 p.m. via Zoom with Andrea LoPresti, LCSW, JFSCNJ director of social work and

program planning. Email info@jfscentralnj.org to receive a Zoom invitation.

7:30 p.m. Email tbainfo@tbanj.org for the link or go tbanj.org.

THURSDAY, June 4 “COVID: The Global Challenge.” Thomas Friedman, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for The New York Times, will hold an online conversation at 6 p.m. with New York Jewish Week editor in chief Andrew Silow-Carroll. Sponsored by the Jewish Week Media Group and UJA Federation of New York. A Q&A will follow. To register, go to jewishweek.timesofisrael.com/thomas-friedman-covid-the-globalchallenge.

The following national and international organizations are offering various online resources: Jewish Women’s Archive will hold a virtual history course, “Leading through Crisis and Change: Jewish Women at the Turn of the 20th Century,” with scholars Carole Balin, Karla Goldman, Rebecca Kobrin, and Judith Rosenbaum, Thursdays, June 4-25, at 8 p.m. There is a suggested $36 minimum donation. Go to tinyurl.com/y9zexx9e to register.

WEDNESDAY, June 10 “Israel: What to Expect After a Year of No Government.” Sponsored by Temple B’nai Abraham, Livingston, and held with Michael Koplow, Ph.D., policy director of the Israel Policy Forum, Michael Koplow via Facebook Live/Zoom,

Kosherwine.com is offering free live-streamed wine events in partnership with the Israeli Wine Producers Association through July 5. Each event focuses on a different Israeli wine producer whose products are widely distributed across the United States and beyond, such as Yatir, Nadiv, Zion Winery, and Binyamina. For a full schedule, visit kosherwine.com/ experiences.

Community THANKING MEDICAL STAFF — Early School students at Temple B’nai Abraham, Livingston, raised funds from their weekly tzedakah contributions to send food to the medical staff at St. Barnabas Medical Center, Livingston, in appreciation for their work on the frontlines of the Covid-19 pandemic. Holding an Early School sign is nurse Gift Horn, whose three children are students there.

ISRAEL BOND PINS — Summit’s Bob Max, seen framed in the open window of his study, arranged to have Jewish Historical Society of NJ executive director Linda Forgosh pick up a collection of charms representing the biblical tribes of Israel that had been given to Anna Gottlieb (the grandmother of Sharon Feigin, a member of Congregation Beth Hatikvah in Summit), for her efforts in the sale of Israel Bonds. The pins will be added to the JHS archives for a future exhibit. Contact 973-993-8182 or lforgosh@jfedgmw.org.

HONORING VETERAN — Master Sergeant Joel Lebowitz (Ret.), a member of the Dan Michelson Post 740 of the Jewish War Veterans, Livingston, places an American flag on the grave of Captain Lawrence Portnow for Memorial Day 2020 at Mt. Lebanon Cemetery in Iselin. The Portnow family, longtime South Orange residents, sponsored Lebowitz, who has been placing flags at the cemetery for many years, and his family to come to the United States in 1948 after the end of World War II.

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Obituaries Leona Crystal

Leona Crystal (Dear), 89, of West Orange died May 17, 2020. Born in Newark, she resided in West Orange since 1960. In addition to being a homemaker, Mrs. Crystal worked for over 30 years at Daughters of Israel, West Orange, as a personnel and purchasing agent. She was a lifetime member of Hadassah and B’nai B’rith Women and longtime member of B’nai Shalom in West Orange. Predeceased by her husband of 54 years, Harold, in 2008, she is survived by her son, Paul (Helene) of Livingston; her daughter, Jill of New York City; three granddaughters; and her adopted family, David and Cindy Goldberg and their four children. Private graveside services were held May 19 with arrangements by Bernheim-ApterKreitzman Suburban Funeral Chapel, Livingston. Memorial contributions may be made to a Jewish charity of choice.

Joan Kalkin

Joan Lazarus Kalkin of Bernardsville died May 16, 2020. She grew up in Newark and Maplewood and lived in Bernardsville for the last 40 years. In her public life, Mrs. Kalkin

NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

LifeCycle

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sat on the boards of the Newark Museum, the Shelburne Museum, and the Fleming Museum and the board of trustees of the University of Vermont, where she was awarded an honorary doctor of laws. She is survived by her husband, Eugene; her daughter, Nancy (Lincoln); her son, Adam (Jocelyne); and seven grandchildren. Arrangements were handled by Bernheim-Apter-Kreitzman Suburban Funeral Chapel, Livingston. Memorial contributions may be made to University of Vermont Foundation, attn: Kathleen Kelleher, 411 Main St., Burlington, VT 05403 (uvmfoundation.org).

Howard Wolff

Howard Wolff, 88, of West Orange died May 15, 2020. Born in Brooklyn, he moved to Parsippany while in high school. He later lived in Wayne before moving to West Orange. Mr. Wolff was a reporter and editor for newspapers in New York and New Jersey, including the Bergen Record, where he ran the copy desk and weekend magazine. He then took his writing

Continued on next page

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NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

LifeCycle Continued from previous page and editing experience to magazines, eventually joining Electronics, a McGraw-Hill publication, where he directed coverage of the early development of the semiconductor and the emergence of the personal computer. He graduated from Boonton High School. He earned his B.A. from Seton Hall University and was pursuing graduate studies in Irish literature at New York University when he was drafted into the U.S. Army during the Korean War. He completed the New York City Marathon in 1977 and 1978, was a regular volunteer with the New York Road Runners, and was a sanctioned official at scholastic competitions around the New York area. Predeceased by his wife, Frances, he is survived by two sons, Andrew (Andrea Perlman) and Robert (Merryl Hoffman); two brothers, Barry and Lester; and three grandchildren. A private family burial was held May 17 with arrangements by Bernheim-ApterKreitzman Suburban Funeral Chapel, Livingston. Memorial contributions may be made to the Annual Fund at Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism (journalism.givenow.columbia.edu).

Through his company, he helped people who needed assistance with food, clothing, and shelter. He is survived by his wife, Andrea; her children, Sonia and Michael; and his siblings, Barry, Greg, Ken, Clark, Bonnie, David, and John. A private burial was held with arrangements by J.L. Apter Memorial Chapels of Dover. A memorial service will be planned at a future date.

David Schultz

Memorial contributions may be made to Morristown Medical Center.

Sylvia Sunberg

Sylvia Sunberg, 98, died April 28, 2020. She had been a longtime resident of South Orange and Maplewood after having lived in Baton Rouge, La.; Cherry Hill; and New Milford. An accomplished pianist and artist, Mrs. Sunberg designed and created a massive stained glass window, “How Great are His Signs,” for Beth Shalom Synagogue in Baton Rouge that survived Hurricane Katrina and still stands today. Predeceased by her husband, Fabian, she is survived by her daughter, Sunny (Mark) Seglin; three sons, Robert, Kenneth (Barbara), and Randall (Cindy); eight grandchildren; and eight great-grandchildren. Graveside services were held May 1 at Mt. Moriah Cemetery, Fairview. Memorial contributions may be made to The Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey, Madison.

David Schultz, 81, of New Vernon died May 22, 2020. Born in Newark, he lived in Maplewood and South Orange before moving to New Vernon 25 years ago. Mr. Schultz was a vice president in his family business, H. Schultz & Sons, for 60 years until his death. He graduated from Columbia High School in Maplewood in 1956 and the University of Vermont in 1960. He was a past board member of the NJY Camps, a board member of the Center for Music Excellency (CME) and Friends Bruce L. Samitt of Harding Township Library, and a past Bruce Samitt, 86, of Denville died on May president of H.A.D.I., a houseware industry 20, 2020. He was born in Patchogue, N.Y., APTERCHAPELS.COM and was raised in Newark. association. Daniel Lagemann Mr. Samitt spent his entire working career He was a longtime member of Oheb at ITT Avionics, beginning as an electrical Daniel Bruce Lagemann, 65, of Morristown Shalom Congregation, South Orange, and engineer and ultimately serving as a senior died May 6, 2020. He was born in Green Brook Country Club, North Caldwell. vice president. He is survived by his wife of 58 Whittier, Calif. After high school, he served for several Mr. Lagemann established Scrub Systems, years, Deborah; his daughter, Dale (Ran) years in the U.S. Army before enrolling at a residential cleaning/restoration company Lazarovitch; his son, Steven; a brother, Newark College of Engineering (now NJIT), that he operated in the Essex County area for Robert; and five grandchildren. where he obtained his degree in electrical Candle Lighting Graveside services were held with 47 years. engineering in 1959. He was a 1973 graduate of Columbia High arrangements by Bernheim-Apter-Kreitzman He was a longstanding and active member Suburban Funeral Chapel, Livingston. School in Maplewood. of his synagogue, later serving on the board of directors. He was also a champion golfer, bowler, and chess player; played mahjong; J.L. volunteered at his local electoral polls; and In the Philip Apter & Son Tradition Since 1902 Jason L. Apter, Manager, spent time as a crisis support volunteer for NJ Lic. No. 3650 victims of domestic abuse. APTERCHAPELS.COM Predeceased by his wife of 58 years, Florence (Rosengart) Samitt, in 2018; and a son, Mark, he is survived by a son, Craig Samitt (Steven Hart) of Golden Valley, Minn.; his daughter, Alison Samitt (Anthony Calcagni) • LIFE INSURANCE ASSIGNMENT PROGRAM of Falmouth, Maine; daughter-in-law, Gayle • The financial burden is lifted from the family. Samitt of Woodcliff Lake; two brothers, Joel • We work with the life insurance company. Samitt of Boca Raton, Fla., and Roy Samitt of -Candle LightingOcean Township; and four grandchildren. Private graveside services were held May Friday, th 24. Memorial contributions may be made to May 29 • Services available from $4695* Temple Beth Am, Parsippany. 8:02pm • Up to a $500 donation made from each funeral.

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Leah Stein

Leah Stein (Friedman), 84, of Monroe Township died March 19, 2020. She was born and raised in Newark. Mrs. Stein was a senior payroll analyst at Quest Diagnostics until her retirement. She graduated from Weequahic High School, Newark, and majored in math at Adelphi University. She traveled to over 30 countries, enjoyed Broadway shows and playing cards, and volunteered in many community groups throughout the years. Predeceased by her husband of 59 years, Alfred, in 2013, she is survived by two daughters, Judy (Patrick) Coleman and Melinda Stein; her son, Neil (Kristine) Stein; and eight grandchildren. Private services were held March 22 at Beth Israel Mausoleum, Woodbridge. A celebration of her life will be held at a later time.

Rita Dropkin

Rita Dropkin, 98, of Monroe Township died May 20, 2020. She was born and raised in Brooklyn, moving in 1969 to Linden and later to Monroe. Mrs. Dropkin was a teacher and school administrator for many years in the Brooklyn school system. She turned a hobby into a part-time career for over 50 years as an Avon representative. She enjoyed traveling, the theater, and the arts. Predeceased by her husband, Milton, and a daughter, Phyllis, she is survived by two sons, Allen (Joan) Samuels and Charlie Ehrlich; two daughters, Mala (Joe) Feldman and Cheryl (Richie) Borek; seven grandchildren; and nine great-grandchildren. A private burial was held May 22 at Beth Israel Cemetery, Woodbridge. Memorial contributions may be made to U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum, Washington, D.C.; or Caring Hospice Services, Edison.

Obituaries must be received no later than four months after the funeral. Submit at www.njjewishnews.com/ lifecycle, by e-mail to obits@njjewishnews.com, or by mail to Obituaries Editor, New Jersey Jewish News, 1719 Route 10, Parsippany, NJ 07054-4515. There is no charge for obituary listings; NJJN reserves the right to edit for style and length. A photo (color or black and white) can be included with your listing for a $36 fee. For payment, please call editor Lori Brauner at 973-739-8116 with your credit card information or mail a check made payable to “JWMG LLC” to the address above.

State&Local Restaurants

Continued from page 10 Ben’s Kosher Delicatessen Restaurant & Caterers, with five remaining locations in Florida, Queens, and Long Island, is also sending food to front-line workers with help from the United Way and private donations. Ben’s recently noticed that night shift workers were being ignored, so it has focused on sending meal boxes filled with sandwiches, cole slaw, pickles, and chicken noodle soup to the night staff at local hospitals. For regular customers, the five delis are offering delivery and curbside pick-up of their full menu, but business has dropped more than 50 percent since their dining rooms have closed. “We are, in large part, keeping our restaurants open for our customers and our staff,” said owner Ronnie Dragoon. Other restaurants are getting help from smaller nonprofits. Talia’s Steakhouse on Manhattan’s Upper West Side is open for take-out. The owner, Effie Nagar, is working with Fountain of Kindness and Yiddishe Mama to provide meals to hospital workers. Last weekend, at the request of Fountain of Kindness, Nagar personally delivered kosher Mexican-themed meals to workers at New York Presbyterian Hospital. Katz’s Delicatessen on the Lower East Side

Barnea, located in Midtown Manhattan, delivers kosher “TV dinners.” INSTAGRAM

is looking to the past to determine its future. In World War II, Katz’s encouraged New Yorkers to “Send a salami to your boy in the army”; today its website requests donations toward meals for front-line workers. The slogan has remained a “part of our deli culture, and in today’s medical crisis it is our privilege to again support those most in need,” according to the site. In a bit of good news from the East Village, B&H Dairy Kosher Vegetarian Restaurant on Second Avenue, which dates to 1938, announced last week that it has reopened its lunch counter for takeout and delivery service. ■ Rachel Ringler is a writer for jwfoodandwine.com.

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NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

LifeCycle

NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

Update pages provided by Jewish Federation of Greater MetroWest NJ

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VIRTUAL

Survivor Speaks HANNA WECHSLER

Tuesday, June 9 3:30-4:30 p.m.

Survivor Speaks is a program that brings eyewitnesses to the Holocaust to schools and other organizations across the community, enabling students of all ages to hear, first hand, the stories of these individuals. Now that this program has been adapted to work in a new, online forum, we realized we could open it up to the entire Greater MetroWest community.

Join us to hear from Hanna Wechsler

who was born in Poland in 1936 and found herself, after years of hiding, packed in a cattle car headed to Auschwitz in 1944. Her survival is largely due to her mother’s bravery and selflessness. Hanna has dedicated her life to educating youth about the horrors of the Holocaust. Her message of overcoming adversity is particularly poignant right now. For more information and to register visit

jfedgmw.org/survivorspeaks Zoom information will be provided upon registration.

Questions? Contact Jamie Carus at jcarus@jfedgmw.org.

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COVID-19 RELIEF

THANK YOU TO OUR FRONT-LINE HEROES!

JESPY House

Last week, volunteers in our Greater MetroWest community turned out en force to express their gratitude to the front-line heroes by participating in Car Parades at a few of our partner agencies. These heroes are the 625 healthcare professionals, home health aides, direct support professionals, Meals on Wheels drivers, and more, who ensure that the clients of our partner agencies continue to get the life-saving support they need during the COVID-19 crisis. In addition to the paraders honking and displaying signs of thanks, we also presented each worker with a Target gift card as a small token of our appreciation and created a virtual Gratitude Wall where community members can post their messages. There’s still time to post your message at jfedgmw.org/thank-you. For our next volunteer opportunity, our Federation has joined forces with IsraAID to ensure the provision of vital supplies to the most vulnerable in our community. Volunteers will sort, assemble, and distribute food packages at the Community FoodBank of New Jersey in Hillside. To find out more and register, visit www.israaid.org/israaid-emergency-volunteer-program.

Jewish Family Service of Central New Jersey

Daughters of Israel

NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

Greater MetroWest UPDATE

FEDERATION

NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

| SHABBAT/PASSOVER CANDLELIGHTING |

May 28: 8:01 p.m. May 29: 8:02 p.m.

The holiness of interpersonal relationships Shavuot II Deuteronomy 14:22-16:17 Numbers 28:26-28:31 Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb

ll beginning students of Torah face this obstacle: in their original, the primary texts of our Jewish tradition have no punctuation. In recent years, publishers have included vowels and punctuation marks in the new editions of almost all basic Jewish texts. However, before these innovations and throughout our history, there have been numerous disagreements as to how the unpunctuated texts should be read. Let me provide one example of such a text from the Torah portion which we will read on the first day of the upcoming festival of Shavuot, in Exodus/Shemot 19:5-6. Unpunctuated, and translated literally, it reads as follows: “And now if you will listen in My voice and keep My covenant and you will be for Me a treasure among all the nations for Mine is all the land and you will be for Me a kingdom of priests and a holy people...” Many commentators struggle with the above verses. Permit me to introduce you to one of them. His name was Rabbi Naphtali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin, and he lived in the latter half of the 19th century. He was the dean, or rosh yeshiva, in the Lithuanian town of Volozhin. Known as the Netziv, he gave daily lectures on each week’s Torah portion, which formed the basis of his five-volume commentary, Haamek Davar.

The Netziv uses certain basic themes to resolve a wide variety of textual problems. One of these themes is the distinction between passages directed to an exclusive audience, versus those that are addressed to all the Jewish people, and occasionally all mankind. In this column, I will confine myself to the message for the broader group. Here is the Netziv’s suggested punctuation, with his interjected interpretive remarks, as addressed to the group he calls the “hamon am” (the “masses”) or, as I prefer, the “entire team,” all who stood at Mount Sinai to receive the Torah. “And now if you listen well in My voice, and keep My covenant, then, and only then, will you be My treasure, among all nations, for people of all lands are Mine. You are qualified to serve as My kingdom of priests/servants, you are qualified to be a holy people… The Netziv proceeds to elaborate upon the message: “From this moment forward, you must ‘listen to My voice.’ That is, you must ponder Torah and attempt to understand it precisely. ‘Listen in,’ rather than merely ‘listen to.’ This is a precondition for My divine support of your national interests, your political agenda, matters of war and peace. “Then, you must ‘keep My covenant,’ the covenant I made with Abraham regarding sacrificial worship, the avodah, in the Holy Temple. This is a precondition for My divine sustenance, providing you with a fertile land, with abundant food and nourishment. “But note,” continues the Netziv, “that reference is only made to Torah and avodah, to Torah study and

ritual observance! What about gemilut chesed? What about interpersonal relationships, charity, kindness, generosity, tolerance, compassion? I, the Almighty, expect those behaviors of all human beings, not just of you! Remember Sodom, totally destroyed because it neglected the poor and needy… “Beyond those two essentials, Torah and avodah, without which there is no nation of Israel, you may elevate yourself yet higher by becoming exemplary in your relationships with others, by acting nobly in your dealings with others. But, when it comes to human relationships, much depends upon the special circumstances of time and place. In those matters, you must strive to discern My will, you must attempt to determine what the Almighty expects of you. For that, you must be a mamlechet kohanim, a ‘kingdom of priests.’ What a powerful message these words have for us as we enter z’man matan Torateinu, the Festival of Shavuot, when we not only commemorate the Almighty’s revelation upon Mount Sinai, but relive it. The Netziv reminds us of the fundamental requirements that we have as a people and as individuals: Torah study and ritual observance. He reminds us that we have responsibilities, not just as Jews, but as members of human society. He urges us to go beyond those universal responsibilities and to excel morally and ethically. Chag sameach. Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb is executive vice president emeritus of the Orthodox Union.

Opinion Elections

Continued from page 16 There is no garbage collection, paved roads, electricity, water supply, or sewers, and they live with the constant threat of home demolitions, a problem exacerbated by the 2017 passage of the “Kaminitz Law,” which increases the penalties for unauthorized construction and expands the state’s powers with regard to demolitions and evictions. Attia Alasam, head of the Regional Council of Unrecognized Villages, said that Bedouin voter turnout in March was the highest it had ever been. Out of an estimated voting population of 90,000 in both recognized and unrecognized communities, Alasam said more than 68,000 people voted, and that more than 200 cars drove women back and forth to the polls throughout the day. Women I spoke to said they were motivated to vote for the sake of their futures and that of their children, and for the Bedouin people that lack proper

infrastructure. It was their duty, they told me, to vote in order to defend their homes and land, to cancel the Kaminitz law and the so-called Trump peace plan, which proposes the transfer of Arab towns in Israel’s “Triangle” region, which could include Bedouin villages, to a future Palestinian state. I’m personally glad to see that no matter who will serve as prime minister, the Arab Joint List will have 15 seats in the Knesset. And I am hopeful that the Knesset will consider the welfare needs of the Bedouin people and work together to provide them with an opportunity to acquire the knowledge and skills needed for integration into Israeli society. ■

A Sporty Shavuot By Yoni Glatt, koshercrosswords@gmail.com Answers to previous puzzle 1

17 20

M A

23 28

S 38

63 66

N T

M K

P N

R O

M O

67 70

R N

D O

C A

T W A

O M A

Phyllis Bernstein lives in Westfield. A member of the Global Connections committee of the Jewish Federation of Greater MetroWest NJ, she is a founding cochair of its Arab-Israeli committee and serves as co-chair of economic development for Social Venture Fund for Jewish Arab Equality and Shared Society.

M C

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NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS Susan Hammer SRS, ABR

NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

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ExitRamp

Merri Ukraincik NJJN Contributor

iron only when absolutely necessary. But washing the white button-down shirts my husband wears to synagogue on Shabbat Close to Home is a household chore I enjoy. There’s quick gratification in Shout-ing out the stains like Wonder Woman, and an ease to smoothing out wrinkles (remove the shirts from the dryer while still damp and hang immediately) that eludes me in the rest of my everyday life. And yet, I was caught off guard when I recently spotted a pile of those shirts in their designated laundry basket in our room. That I’d forgotten about them in the more than two months since we last attended Shabbat services hit me with unexpected poignancy. It was as if they were calling out from the past, reassuring me that we will return to our old ways of talking to God while encouraging me to keep the faith in the meantime. The past continued to pop in for days after that. Friends I had not heard from in ages reached out. I also discovered the rough draft of an essay I started a long time ago, about the way the ancient stones of the Kotel transport me thousands of years back in time. What surprised me most, though, was the vivid dream I had of an old Romanian synagogue I once visited while traveling for work, which often took

me to Jewish communities throughout Central and Eastern Europe. The pews were dusty from disuse in a town with only a few remaining Jews. But in my dream, they were filled with men in talleisim swaying to familiar tunes and kerchiefed women leaning over the balcony to catch the words of the Torah portion. I received an unexpected souvenir as a parting gift on the day of the actual visit: a vintage iron, the kind heated by hot coals, that was in a box headed for the garbage. The caretaker was pleased to part with it, though she insisted I’d be better off buying a new one. I confessed either would be mostly decorative. She also offered me the sign from the shuttered mikvah that would never have fit into the tiny car we were traveling in. After I wrote to a colleague about the dream, he sent photos of me with the caretaker and confirmed my other memories of our visit. I reminded him about the iron, which keeps company with my books in the den, and I shared my lingering regret that I did not find a way to shlep the mikvah sign home. With the distance of time, my travel experiences have assumed the magical proportions of a shtetl fairy tale, my sundry souvenirs symbolic meaning. I recall the way I would have to catch my breath, an emotional reflex, each time I entered an old synagogue — whether it was restored to its original splendor and remained in use, or if it echoed with the hush of ghosts in its emptiness and disrepair. Though I was eager to see the aron hakodesh, the holy ark, the first tug on my heart was always the women’s section, where I imagined myself praying in a former life. I would climb up the often

rickety steps, pulling prayer books off the shelves in the hope of ﬁnding a copy of the “Tzena Urena,” a Yiddish rendering of Torah stories written for women. I wanted to hear its former owner call out from the worn pages of the past, whispering that the world persists and that our faith must as well. I never found one, no matter how often I looked. Yet I fondly recall the day that a rabbi, another colleague from that era in my life, sent me a package from the Romanian countryside. I knew what history and holiness it contained even before I tore off the brown paper packaging to reveal the “Tzena Urena” I’d been seeking. It was easy enough to miss that pile of white shirts in the laundry basket, which is tucked deep into a corner. After all, my husband has others to wear at home. But I understand why its discovery launched this ﬂood of memories of old synagogues and long-sought-after prayer books on forlorn shelves: I miss our shul. Though I talk to God plenty from home, it is in our synagogues that we have the chance to visit Him in His own house. It is where we gather with other Jews to chatter together in our ancient tongue, to travel back in time while reciting the prayers we’ve uttered as a people for millenia around the globe. I know our current absence from synagogue is temporary, a loss that will hopefully be too shortlived for the pews to gather dust or the prayerbooks to feel abandoned. I imagine them calling out from the dark and quiet, Have faith. We’re waiting for you. We hope to see you again soon. ■

Merri Ukraincik of Edison is a regular contributor to NJJN. Follow her at merriukraincik.com.

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NJ Jewish News ■ njjewishnews.com ■ May 28, 2020

A wrinkle in time

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