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Rutgers Entertainment Weekly www.rutgersmedium.com
March 7TH, 2012
Volume xliI Issue XIX
BAKA AIN'T GONNA DO SHIT
MUSLIM STUDENT GROUP SEES DECLINE IN MEMBERSHIP
'What happened to all those muscular guys in the back that took notes?' BY SUM DUM JOO HEAD WRITER
BUSCH—Students in various groups on campus that embraced and supported Muslim heritage on campus have been actively recruiting new members in light of a very recent and apparently random loss of members. “It's really weird,” said Sayed Khan, president of the organization. “We used to have this great turnout, but a couple of weeks ago a good portion of our members just stopped showing up.” Khan, who has served as president for the past two semesters, recalls the former spike in membership to have been a unique one. “A few months ago, we got a bunch of guys who came in and they were very eager to learn
FASHION A-WEARNESS
PAYING ATTENTION TO SENSITIVE ISSUES The sign-up sheet from this event disappeared for some reason.
everything about the organization,” said Khan, a SAS Junior majoring in Mathematics. “They seemed really cool. They were physically fit, wore sunglasses all the time and had these cool two-way radios that they were
"Le Confusión" a pervasive theme PARIS—Paris Fashion week 2012 saw a heavy influence from Mother Nature, as top designers revealed styles for the upcoming spring season that reflect the dramatic daily changes in weather patterns most US citizens have been coping with over the past winter. Recent temperature fluctuations have not only baffled the meteorological community, but the fashion industry as well, and studios such as Christian Dior and Valentino have quickly produced fashion lines that prepare the wearer for the whims of nature. A clear show stealer was Alber Elbaz “el calentamiento glob-
QUICKIES
Pay your motherfucking rent See, you held out and now we’ve got the whole university in on this. You think people won't know who I’m addressing? They’ll know. They’ll see you walking to class with that “I wonder if people know I’m the person from that Medium news quickie” look on your face and they’ll know.
Dad's offer for an internship at his successful firm so totally lame
hiding in their pants pockets.” Students who met the new members said they were very “If he seriously thinks I want to cordial and helpful. “I needed to give some end up like him,” said sophohomework assignments to a more Liz Hansen, “Living comfortably with a stable benefits Continued on Page 2 package, pulleeeeze. He’s way more delusional than I gave him credit for.”
Unpredictable weather reflected in this year's spring fashion trends BY COMMANDO UNITED STATES NEWS EDITOR
50¢
Doin' it like they do on the Discovery Channel actually in violation of registered trademarks
al” line, in which he dressed a model in a gold lame sun reflectant feather down raincoat with hot pants and fur-lined rubber sandals. “Good fashion should present an opportunity for the wearer to display their confidence,” said Danish designer Jon Gallian. “Mysterious weather prevents that, and so we have introduced a line of fashions which ensure that no matter what weather you may experience, at least a few parts of your body will be ready for it.” Fashion forward college women are expected to quickly take note of this latest fashion trend by pairing extraordinarily Fashion critics find the new approach to tight shorts with oversized Ugg weather preparedness a brilliant reason "I’ll die if I push myself too hard, boots. to wear whatever the hell you pull out of so I won’t!"
Constipated old guy doesn't give a shit anymore
your closet
This will only feel good for a second... ESTABLISHED 1970