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The Entertainment Weekly of Vegetable Sex

Wednesday, October 27, 1999

“Get that cucumber away from me!”

Volume XXXI Number 3

This Halloween...

Give the Gift of Gourds!

Happy fucking Halloween Jason


EDITORIALS

“I don’t think jizz comes in aerosol”

Wednesday October 27, 1999

The Continuing Struggle Last Thursday, concerned people came together to protest the execution of a Black revolutionary who has linked his struggle with so many others, recognizing the unity of oppression and the injustice doled out to each of us daily. How many people came out to show support for Mumia Abu-Jamal and demand a new trial? Reportedly, a few dozen people were troubled by the fact that the death warrant was signed for a journalist who exposed corruption in local government and the police department, who tried to stop a scene of police brutality in 1981, who was shot and left in the gutter for almost an hour that night in 1981, who was charged with killing the police officer who died that night, who was tried before a judge notorious for sentencing people to death without benefit of adequate legal counsel against a Fraternal Order of Police-backed prosecution that fabricated confessions and purchased testimonies, who has been sitting on Death Row for 17 years, who is scheduled to die on December 2nd, who is kept isolated in an empty Plexiglas room strapped down under surveillance to ensure he doesn’t commit suicide. Supposedly, hundreds of people at this university care about racial injustice, so where were they? What prevented the thousands of people at this university from coming out to protest this lynching? The easy answer is apathy, but I don’t believe that is the only cause. There has been a media blackout about Mumia and his case. The coverage of his struggle has been biased to favor the FOP and those who profit off the incarceration of non-whites and the poor. This is not surprising in a climate where many stories remain untold by the mainstream media. So perhaps, people have either heard nothing, or heard something unfavorable. You’ve heard that he’s a cop killer and should die. You’ve heard that he’s confessed and should die. You’ve heard that his supporters are

misguided victims of white guilt looking for an outlet for their frustrated radicalism. What you haven’t heard are the facts of this case, such as you can’t kill a cop with a .44 bullet if you have a .38 gun. This case is about more than one man’s innocence; it is also about the United States’ refusal to eliminate the barbaric practice of capital punishment. Our country knowingly puts innocent people to death, despite a need to hold cases involving the death penalty to the highest standards of fairness. Rafael Herrera proved his innocence after his appeals had run out; he was executed anyway. These people are executed in our name and it is up to us to stop these killings. Perhaps another reason people shy away from Mumia is that the problem seems too large. How realistic is it to go up against the police and the courts and the politicians? The power of the people is continuously undermined by the corporate controlled media and by the history you are taught. You are told you cannot make a difference, that your vote doesn’t matter, that the world is now and forever shall be corrupt. You don’t have to believe that. When the people are united, they shall never be defeated. It is hard to ignore hundreds of letters, thousands of voices, millions of people who cry out for justice. If you’d like to learn more about Mumia, educate yourself at Mumia.org or look out for the Teach-ins coming up in November. If you want to make your voice heard, write a letter demanding a new trial for Mumia and send it to: Hon. William H. Yohn, Jr. c/o Leonard Weinglass 6 West 20th Street, Suite 10A New York, NY 10011

Spooks Goblins Midgets Witches Bob Dole Ghouls

Page Page Page Page Page

8 9 10 11 12

Cover by: Amanda Hoffman

Bats Vampires Ghosts Demons What’s Shakin’

THE

MEDIUM

2 3 4 5 6 7

I was shocked and appalled that Governor Ridge signed the death warrant for Mumia AbuJamal, knowing that his attorneys were filing an appeal. New evidence points not only to Mumia Abu-Jamal’s innocence but also to police and prosecutorial misconduct during his original trial. There is substantial evidence that the police intimidated and coerced witnesses into giving false testimony and fabricated the existence of a confession. Also the prosecution withheld evidence from the defense and systematically excluded qualified African-American jurors. Legal scholars of all political sympathies (including conservatives) join with artists, scholars, dignitaries and common people from this country and around the world in demanding justice and a fair trial, so that the evidence can be examined in an open court, presided over by a fair judge, and weighed by a jury chosen according to constitutional guidelines. All across the United States and throughout the world, attention is focused on Pennsylvania, to see whether a commitment to justice survives in our state and nation today.

Thank you.

Poetry Art Political Expression

Submissions for Sisterhood and Struggle zine now being accepted

mail to Sisterhood and Struggle 227 Livingston Ave Apt 2 New Brunswick, NJ 08901

or email SisterhoodnStruggle @hotmail.com Page Page Page Page Page Page

Hon. William H. Yohn, Jr.,

Judge Yohn, I urge you to do everything in your power to ensure that Mr. Abu-Jamal receives a new, fair trial.

By Amanda Hoffman, Editor in Chief amandah@eden

CONTENTS

For your convenience, here is a sample letter from International Concerned Family and Friends of Mumia Abu-Jamal:

The Editorial Staff Editor in Chief Managing Editor Business Manager Opinions Editor News Editor Features Editor Arts Editor

Amanda Hoffman Chris Taylor Heather Thomson Anish Mehta Chris Taylor Garrett Glick John Minus

Personals Editors What’s Shakin’ Editor Staff Artist Online Editor Advertising Manager Senior Editor

Jason Postelnik & Mike Molino Chris DeSarno Wilt Chamberlain Chris DeSarno Heather Thompson Anish Mehta

THE MEDIUM is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. All articles are the opinions of the authors and are not necessarily shared by THE MEDIUM. Submission and business deadline is Sunday at 12:00 pm. The office of THE MEDIUM was located in the Yorba Lounge of Tillett Hall, Livingston Campus. All correspondence may be addressed to THE MEDIUM L.P.O 16405 P.O Box 5064, New Brunswick, N.J. 08903-5064 or emailed to the_medium@hotmail.com. Our phone number is (732) 445-1999. Your mother ate my dog.


OPINIONS Is the headline what college is all about? Granted, this might be helped along with the assistance of such well known drugs such as alcohol, marijuana and LSD (anal nitrate - Ops. Ed.), but opening up yourself to new and different ideas should be part of the college experience. Think about this for a second. Even if you're a freshman (fuck that politically correct "first-year" bullshit) (you crazy rebel - Ops. Ed.), you've been in contact with a lot of different people with a lot of different beliefs (and they all suck Ops. Ed.). It could be from basic stuff to your taste in sexual partners to ethereal concepts on how life is. Regardless, in a large state university like this, everyone's got different ideas about everything, even ones that I think are wrong. While we're on the subject of rightness and wrongness, let's talk about one thing: intolerance. If you listen to the left-wing bullshit that gets rammed down your throat under the guise of truth, you think that intolerance is something that only comes from White heterosexual males. However, in reality, every time you tune someone out simply because of what they believe, you practice intolerance. It happens every time we reject someone because of the culture they come from. It

anish1@eden

happens every time we say someone can't speak out against some injustice simply because they come from the background of the oppressed. It happens when we reject a belief simply because a few people who just happened to be assholes also believed it. People need to stop putting up with the bullshit and get with the realness. How does one get with the realness, you ask? Well, if I tried to do that for every single group on campus, I'd need the entire paper. But since I know Amanda and Chris won't let me do that (I don’t think they’ve ever authorized you to be on a first name basis with them, either. - Ops. Ed.), here's a few examples. If you're a hardcore Republican (Pat Buchanan rapping with NWA? - Ops. Ed), go visit one of the meetings of the various Communist groups on campus (...and have your higher tax bracket get shoved up your ass with a commie’s foot Ops. Ed.). If you're an atheist, go to a Campus Crusade meeting (...and be crucified for heresy - Ops. Ed.). If you're one of those "God-damn" white males, try getting involved with a minority student group on campus, do something out of the ordinary (Strip and run through Demarest hall nude while pouring honey over your genitals and singing the theme to Dawsons Creek? - Ops. Ed.). Get

Wednesday October 27, 1999

involved with some people that someone like you isn't supposed to get involed with (Refer to last comment - Ops. Ed.). It might fuck with your head. It might even, heaven forbid, get you out your narrow-minded bullshit that you've stuck with more out of insecurity and fear instead of true belief. You learn in this life through experience, not indoctrination. Right about now, I know you think I'm nuts. That's good. In this society, anyone outside of what they consider the narrow realm of goodthink is considered insane. Well, I want all of you to start committing thought crimes (Look at your bad ass go with those 20th century anti-utopian novel references - Ops. Ed.). Think outside the box. Leave the narrow left-right dichotomy that we live in the United States. Go out, travel beyond your normal hangout spots and go experience something that will fuck up your mind. I know George Clinton has about zero connection with Rutgers, especially after that cancelled concert last April. However, this quote of his has a perfect fit for this campus, "Freee your mind and your ass will follow."

Will pay $6.52 for safe return of our midget. Name: Midget Responds to: “Midget”, “Fran”, “Fabio”. Last seen: at LCGA meeting. Hobbies: Spelunking, nude mud wrestling Favorite Band: Rush Career: Actor/Model/Driving Instructor. Acting Jobs:

Missing “Midget” Missing since 10/15/99

1995: Played “Tree stump” in Les Miserables. (Broadway) 1997: Played “Fire hydrant” in West Side Story (Union County Arts Center) 1999: Played “Othello” in Othello (Mason Gross Graduate Production)

PLEASE RETURN MIDGET TO ROOM 113 IN THE LIVINGSTON STUDENT CENTER, WEDNESDAY NIGHT @ 9:30.

MEDIUM MEETING WEDNESDAY NIGHT @ 9:30 IN THE LIVINGSTON STUDENT CENTER. ROOM 113 IN THE ORGANIZATIONS OFFICE


NEWS

NEW BRUNSWICK--It was announced yesterday that Christopher Nayr and Michael Onrased, two computer science majors, were successful in developing a computer program to create a woman. The program was prompted by years of rejection by the female sex. “The idea came about after one lonely night of watching Weird Science on cable,” said Chris Nayr. “We thought, ‘Hey, that’s not a bad idea at all,’ so we logged into our Remus accounts, warmed up the JAVA compiler and got cracking.” Three days later, the two programmers ran the program which, to their surprise, worked. “You should have seen our faces when she walked into the room. We named her CompuGirl.”

The two students put a lot of effort into the program, at times going so far as to do research. “Yeah, neither Chris nor myself were—umm—familiar with all of the female anatomy so we had to consult a few health books.” said Onrased, meaning porn. “The creation of a woman is not at all like it’s portrayed in Hollywood. In reality, you don’t need to wear underwear on your head,” explained Nayr. “But we did anyway,” added Onrased, “partly as a tribute to the movie of inspiration, and also because, well, it couldn’t hurt.” “She sure turns my software into hardware,” commented one computer science student in Nayr’s Data

Wednesday, October 27, 1999

Blood Is Funny.

Structures class that asked to only be referred to as Cruise. “She can defrag my hard drive whenever she wants. Chris and Mike are geniuses. I hope they release the source code.” Another student remarked, “Yeah, and she knows how to give a mean muddy hummer.” When asked how it feels to be a being created by two computer nerds CompuGirl simply stated, “I want sex.” Apparently, this is the full extent of her vocabulary. “We only gave her a threeword vocabulary because we were working under a lot of memory constraints. Do you know how complicated speech is?” Nayr later added, “Hey, who are you to judge me?!” This seemingly harmless experiment has sparked a controversy in the Computer Science department. It turns out the young wizards had been delinquent in handing in any of the assigned programs for their Data Structures class. “Sure we didn’t hand in any of those stupid assignments cause they were stupid. We did hand in the Woman program, which we feel should qualify us for a passing grade. For chrissake, we created a woman. We’re damn near gods!” The professor on the other hand disagrees. “I’m going to have to fail those two fucks for not completing the required work. We don’t teach about women as a data structure. And why should we? I mean, let’s not kid ourselves here. It’s not like they can keep track of things or remember shit.... Have you ever even tried to have a real conversation with one? God-damn!” Both Nayr and Onrased aren’t worried about taking the class over, though. Apparently, the woman they created was recently hired by the university to teach Data Structures in the spring semester.

Many college students already know what MP3’s are. For those of you who don’t know what MP3’s are, here’s a brief description. An MP3 is a music format that is very close to CD quality, and completely digital. This type of file takes up only a few Megs for a normal length song and can be shared by anyone with a computer. It is fairly easy to make an MP3 copy of a song you have on CD or other media. Some artists have even started recording for MP3 format and companies are starting to put out portable and car MP3 players. If you already have a computer, chances are that it already has an MP3 player installed. If you need additional info a good place to start is (www.winamp.com). They offer a free MP3 player that is both easy to use and customize. In fact, one bored college student actually got so bored, he created MediumAmp. After downloading WinAmp or if you already have it, check out MediumAmp at:

Any comments on the skin please email me Mr. Q Green at mrqgreen@yahoo.com or visit my website at www.geocities.com/mrqgreen

Marijuana To Be Legalized in Mexico, Canda

New Study Results Reveal Brittany Spears in League with Satan; Backstreet Boys Singing for the Lord

By Christopher Taylor

By John Minus

MEDIUM STAFF

MEDIUM STAFF

MEXICO CITY--Mexican President Ernesto “y Franco” Zedillo, during a “State of the Union” address Thursday evening, announced that the plant known as marijuana will no longer be considered illegal by the Mexican government as of the turn of the century. He described the drug as “only mildly harmful to the user, much like tobacco,” and “a major drain on [Mexico’s] social services, especially our police.” Zedillo went on to reaffirm that Mexico would continue to disallow the transport of harvested marijuana on to United States soil to the “best of our abilities.” Not to outdone, Prime Minister Jean “Frenchie” Chretien countered what he thought to be Mexico’s immigration tactics by also legalizing all forms of the genus Cannabis. Chretien agreed with Zedillo’s reasons, adding that “our prisons are full; our streets are full of violent drug-selling organizations; and, contrary to American thought, marijuana is perfectly safe.” He also decided to withdraw Canadian troops from Quebec after nearly two centuries of occupation. United States’ President William “Bubba” Clinton responded to Canada and Mexico’s “indiscretions” by launching a full-scale verbal attack upon the neighboring country’s leaders. “This will not stand. We will not allow our moral code to be jeopardized by these foreigners to the north and to the south. Mr. Zedillo, I ask that you withdraw your comments. Mr. Chretien, I urge you to reconsider. Our nations’ children are at stake. We must sign the Declaration of Independence now, or it will never be signed….” Presidential Aides rushed to the confused southerner, telling him, “That’s enough, Bill. You did a good job, but it is time to come back to the Oval Office.” Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and drug czar Barry McCaffrey finished the speech in chorus, “Drugs Stink! Drugs Stink! String ‘em high for a clean living land,” hoping that Americans would lynch border-crossing Mexican and Canadian residents. Zedillo and Chretien were both reportedly “perturbed” by the incident and voiced concern that perhaps the elected officials in the United States have had too much of their power usurped as of late. There has been no change of status as of yet with regard to the Canadian and Mexican drug policies, however, and McCaffrey believes his message got through. “Perhaps next time those dirty Mexicans want to party, they’ll keep it to themselves, and not try to incite change in other countries. Fucking Mexicans….”

WASHINGTON D.C.--A new study done by famed Theologian Neil Zellwigger has recently finished a study that proves beyond a shadow of doubt that pop singer Brittany Spears’ popularity is due solely to the influence of the devil. “Actually she does not actually work directly for the devil,” Zellwigger stated, “The deal she struck was with a lesser servitor demon Ialdebolath. [WARNING: saying Ialdebolath’s name out loud may cause him to appear and claim the eternal soul of you and your first born child. The Medium does not recommend saying his name aloud.] Her larger breasts are not in fact natural, but are supernatural. In return for her immortal soul she received certain ‘investments’ from the demon. Amongst these were a larger and sexier bustline, clearer skin, and near continuous airplay on Z100 and MTV. I have less reliable evidence about the careers of N’Sync, 98 degrees, and LFO. “Perhaps the most surprising finding of this study is that the Backstreet Boys are performing in the service of Heaven. “I did not understand it myself,” Zellwigger went on to say; “though I do have some theories. I suspect that their horrible pre-pubescent whining may in fact be driving people to church praying for them to stop. Or, praying for some horrible fate to befall them.” When asked to comment on Heaven’s new tactics, Father Flannigan of the Catholic Church was quoted as saying, “Hey, any prayer’s a good prayer, even if it’s for a bad thing. And if gets more butts in seats and more money in the collection plates, more power to them Backdoor Boys, or whatever they’re called.” ATTENTION PROFESSORS Do you like The Medium? Are you interested in becoming a faculty advisor for The Medium for the Srping semester?

Contact Editor-in-Chief AmandaHoffmanat amandah@eden.rutgers.edu


Wednesday, October 27, 1999

NEWS

naziphallus@hotmail.com

Rutgers Parking NBPD To Have Christ’s Body Found, and TransportaTheologians Lax Coverage tion Announces Mischief Night Out For Blood New Plan To ComBy Christopher Taylor By Christopher Taylor STAFF MEDIUM STAFF bat Illegal Drivers NEW BRUNSWICK—NewMEDIUM Brunswick By H. Reilly Police Department Chief Donald Bowling

MEDIUM STAFF

NEW BRUNSWICK—RU Parking and Transportation unveiled an alternative punishment today against illegal parkers. Tickets were not working, so they plan to “key” illegally parked cars. This new plan of action will begin on the CAC parking deck. “Parking has become a seriously problem at the CAC deck, mainly because we issued 1500 more permits than spots, and the deck only holds 600 vehicles. Permit holders are facing long lines and waits for available parking. Illegal parkers are robbing our permit holders of time and space,” Jared Saron, Director of RU Parking and Transportation said. Tickets have proved to have little effect on illegal parkers, so Parking and Transportation plans to permanently damage cars by “keying” them. Keying is when one takes a key and scratches the surface of the vehicle through the paint. “We think it is the only way to address the problem of repeat illegal parking offenders.” Mary Darnish, a meter maid said. “I think its great they’re finally doing something,” student commuter Sarah Barrows said. “The line to get into the deck can be up to 3 hours long, its worse than the Medusa roller coaster at Great Adventure, and no where near as fun.” “If it was legal, I would have popped out my gun long ago, and taken care of those punk-ass jerkfaces, who live in New Brunswick and don’t feel like walking 5 blocks. They take up spots of people who have driven for a fuckin’ hour. It’s bullshit, those lazy mother fuckers from Guilden Street.” John Molinowski screamed. “I can’t tell you how many fights I’ve seen over spots, and when its someone who doesn’t have a permit, those commuters go insane; my friend got her face beat in during a mini-riot because she didn’t have a commuter permit. However I really don’t think it will help, most commuters take care of their own, and have a planned strategy for those who are non-commuters. Its more fuel to the fire.” A student who wished not to be identified explained. “After driving 40 minutes, in New Jersey hell traffic, the last thing I want to see is some bitch sorority chick too lazy to drive from her whorehouse on frat row,” University College student Caitlyn Rogers explained. “They need to do something, I’m sick of driving up and down the deck 20-25 times to find a god damn parking space for those goddamned whores whose twats are filled of man’s milk.” When asked about the ramifi-

accidentally allowed over half of the police force use of a vacation day for this Saturday, October 30th. Bowling was reportedly “unaware that October 30th held any sort of significance with regard to law enforcement.” Several of the fifty-six officers offered to report to work in the event of an emergency, but New Brunswick mayor James Cahill appeared skeptical that the police response time would be adequate. “Bowling’s incompetence will not go unchecked. Of all the nights to let the cops spend the night at home, he had to choose Mischief Night [note: Mischief Night a.k.a. Goosey Night, Devil’s Night]. With all those fucking drunk-ass Rutgers students roaming around our city causing trouble, I’d be surprised if the city wasn’t burned to the ground by Sunday morning.” Members of various Rutgers fraternities expressed unrestricted joy at hearing the news of the “fuzz” being in a weakened state. One of the less beerfilled brothers pondered, “It’s like an early Christmas present. I’m so excited. Me and my friends are gonna go break some stuff.” Not all cries in the night were those of rapture, however. Mrs. Jacob McKinney, a thirty-year resident of the Hub City, worried that her house might be vandalized by “them crazy college kids.” She expressed an interest that 8676 Central Avenue not be excessively “egged” or “fucked-up” on Saturday. Chief Bowling does not expect any problems, however. “College students are, on the whole, a good thing for New Brunswick. I mean, with all the money we rake in from those poor bastards in parking tickets, we can fund the entire city. And I mean come on, the Rutgers students are far too apathetic to destroy anything in a constructive manner. It’ll mostly just be some piss in the street.”

Flow like blood to The Medium. Meetings: Livingston Student Center, Room Room 113. 113, Wednesday 9:30 pm. cations of damaging personal property, Jaron Saron explained, “Rutgers is just like Disney World; as soon as your on our property, we take control of your life; you have no choices.” As of press time, 45 illegally parked cars, mainly with dorm resident or New Brunswick permits had been keyed. It is not clear if it will help alleviate the parking problem at the CAC parking deck.

1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 The use of the phantom ‘that’ 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 by syntacticians is a linguistic 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 conspiracy designed to cast 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 doubt of the human mind’s 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 perfection by vindicating the 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 diversionary competence/ 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 1234567890123456789012345678901212 performance distinction. 1234567890123456789012345678901212

Umberno. “I didn’t want to believe it, but the findings were unmistakable. Jesus JERUSALEM—Contrary to Biblical Christ’s remains did not rise up from teachings, the body of Jesus Christ, Mount Olive into Heaven. He was buried in reported son of Yahweh, did not ascend the cave after he died on the cross, I directly into the heavenly plane, according suppose, and never did rise again.” to recent findings. Religious leaders Upon hearing congregated en masse the news, theologians in Israel on Friday to throughout the world debate their collective scrambled to explain position. the evidence. Some Last month dubbed the findings Anthropologists Here lies Jesus, completely erroneous, uncovered a skeleton our Savior; may he rest in peace. whilst others insisted entombed in a remote that even if Jesus did cave outside of not rise on the “third” Jerusalem. The cave day and later ascend contained numerous into Heaven in body, artifacts and etchings he did in spirit. that led the researchThe summit ers to conclude that that began on Friday the remains were of the with good intentions sarcastically dubbed has since been “King of the Jews.” reduced to a juvenile “What first shouting match about tipped us off was the the justifiability of inscription on a granite marker: ‘Here lies Jesus, our Savior; may he science in general. A number of Cardinals from Rome reportedly brought with them rest in peace.’ We were obviously skeptical an arsenal larger than has ever been at first,” said Raul Umberno, chief reassembled to “destroy the ‘evidence’ searcher on the project. “The crude before it is too late.” tombstone did appear to be very old, but Said Jonah Cohen, a peripheral the handwriting itself was coarse and figure in the Israeli Liberation Front, “At puerile. After some testing, however, we first I sided with the science-sympathizdiscovered that the text was carved into the rock with fire. Yet we were unconvinced ers. I thought we could work it all out. Then of the artifact’s legitimacy until we opened I realized that is all we do these days, explain away the scientific findings that the tomb.” attempt to undermine our religious beliefs. The contents of the tomb were For once I agree with the Catholics. We numerous, and every single one of them have to set aside our differences. The referred to the corpse with which they lay fucking scientists must die. And the as “Jesus Christ.” Arabs, of course.” “They were all authentic. We checked them repeatedly,” droned

The Bill of Rights A Ten Week Series Week Three

It has been shown with startling frequency that the citizens of the United States of America often are not aware of, or do not understand, the implications of our Constitution. Therefore, in a weekly series, The Medium is proud to present, the United States Constitution’s first ten amendments, also known as the Bill of Rights, in sequential order.

Amendment 3: No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.


Wednesday October 27, 1999

Straight Girl by John Minus feat. Mellissa Berman When last we left your reasons for living a.k.a. Captain Hetero and Iron Dyke, Melisa O’Hare was brain dead, and Johnny Taurus was…umm…well, we’ll see now what he’s up to. “Johnny Taurus wins Rutgers it’s eighth game this season, scoring three touchdowns against Iowa State in the 4th quarter.” “Oh God, It’s Him!” Jana Garelli, of the Long Island Garellis, ran up to Johnny Taurus, gushing all over the football star. “I just love the way you score all of those touchdowns for our team. I was wondering if I could say thank you for all of Rutgers, and help you score a little more.” Johnny was a little confused. Sure, women creamed their jeans at the thought of him licking them in any way, but this chick was just a little too enthusiastic. “My name’s Jana, and I’m your biggest fan. I’ve always wanted to show my appreciation for showing all us lucky girls your big sexy black body in the College Ave. gym when you work out. She pulled him into the women’s locker room. “Damn girl, you don’t play do you? But the thing is this is the girls… Johnny was cut short as he felt a pair of soft warm lips suck at his dickhead. This little white bitch (he was at least a foot and a half taller than her) was trying desperately to fit his foot-long into her mouth. She worked his cock with both hands, the effort of jerking off such massive meat showed on her face. But she was determined. Her saliva coated his dick, her hunger was evident. She was going to fill her stomach with hetero-semen or die trying. Of course she didn’t know she was waxing the knob of Captain Hetero, but she was giving a heroic blow-job anyway. Johnny normally had a lot of stamina for this type of thing, but he could feel his balls getting his load ready to go. She could only fit one of his huge testicles in her palm at a time, and she rubbed them lovingly as her tongue danced along his throbbing vein. “Damn, I wish all women were as appreciative of sports as you are” he gasped. But breathe wasn’t coming easily, the pleasure

was so intense he was finding it hard to breathe, hard to do anything but admire the cocksucking this girl was giving him. She sucked on his balls, a feeling which made him so dizzy he almost fell down; but he wasn’t done yet, and neither was she. She knew that his time was cumming, so she went into her finishing move, she wrapped both hands around his oversized shaft and jacked him off for all she was worth, while at the same time snaking her tongue around his head and sucking like a Hoover. Johnny had met his match, and he warned Jana, “you might want to get out of the way, this is going to be a big one.” Johnny had given more than one girl whiplash cumming in her mouth. But Jana hung on to his member stubbornly, determined to swallow his precious load. When he couldn’t take it any more, he let it go into her mouth with tremendous pressure. And to her credit, she took it all down, all into her, not spilling a drop…Johnny swayed in and out of consciousness as if his life had left him with his sperm. Jana felt proud but tired…it was hard gulping down all of that hot cum for lunch, but damn it tasted good. Satisfied, Johnny stared at the young white slut kneeling in front of him, now he could just walk out of the bathroom after a good dick sucking and go on with his day…..but he wasn’t done yet. He looked at her…young and innocent (so he thought; he had know idea what kind of slut he was dealing with). Her Scarlet and Black skirt was short showing off her strong and sexy cheerleader’s legs. He pulled her skirt up exposing her black gstring panties. He wondered how many other guys had seen the same panties and fucked the same bald pussy, but this didn’t stop him. His cock was hard again over this little white chick, he couldn’t believe his dick, but he didn’t question it. He bent her over the toilet bowl and grabbed her hips. She had more ass than he was expecting. “It’s the little surprises in life that keep me going”, he thought. He rammed his hard cock into her tight wet pussy…listening to

her moan turned him on even more and he reached his hand around to the front of her body and rubbed her clit. He fucked her hard for awhile until things got boring. Then he got up and sat on the toilet and asked her to ride him. How could she say No. She slowly lowered herself onto his hard, wet cock. Bouncing up and down, sucking on his neck, this bitch was a specialized pro. He felt every single sensation of her wet cunt on his black meat. He grabbed her ass and pushed her onto his dick even more…feeling the cum filling his balls again he knew it was almost time. “Ahhhhhhh!!!!” She let out a loud moan and her entire body shook with pleasure. She came and she came hard. He felt her juices drip all over his dick. This made his cock ready to explode and he released himself into her twat, filling her with his super sperm. All she could do was moan loudly for she had never been fucked by a black cock with so much power. Johnny was finally done. Sweaty and tired as fuck…..for he just busted two of the biggest nuts he could ever remember busting he got up and zipped his pants back up. He didn’t know what to say to this cute white girl that could suck a mean dick except, “Thanks” and “maybe I will see you again!” He walked away and left her to clean up and pull back down her skirt by herself. After all……she was just a cheerleader. *** Jana’s stomach felt funny for the rest of the day…not bad, just…kind of like when you eat a big lasagna dinner. She was full of cum and satisfied. She tried to find Mellissa, but she was nowhere to be found. So she went home, went to dinner with her friends at Brower (but, unsurprisingly ate little), talked some guy on her floor to do his homework, and went to bed. Don’t believe what anybody says, being a slut is hard work. Johnny rode his motorcycle over to Livingston. After the game, and his little

Millennium Costumes for that ass! This is for all you kids who can’t think of a good costume this year.... —Flaming Cyclops-whip out your dick, douse with kero sene, light with matches, make racial remarks. —Santa Pimp-get an old santa outfit, or any big red jacket, big ass red hat, a couple of snow elf bitches, and who could forget the giant candy cane (for limps and puttin the tricks n check). —Fran Lawrence-obtain an old wig, which resembles Eddie Van Halen, then stick a broomstick up your ass (this ones easy!) (so’s your fat mom-ed.). —Hurricane Floyd-carry Supersoaker 300, douse random students most precious belongings while kicking them in the nuts. —Lando-get some pimped out futuristic shit, don’t worry, just get some tin foil, cowboy hat, large gat and obligatory Colt 45 bottle and make sure it never leaves

FEATURES FEATURES

gmg42@eden.rutgers.edu

I Masturbate constantly.

post-game celebration with the cheerleader, he was pretty tired. He was going to be on SportsCenter tonight, and he loved seeing himself on TV. He met up with his friend Calief in front of Tillet. “Whassup dog?.” “Nothing…yo, I just got the best dicksucking of my life from this white cheerleader in the girls locker room after the game. I hit it after that too…it was pretty nice, she had a nice ass for a white girl.” Johnny liked hanging with Calief, there’s a lack of black people on College Ave. that bothers him sometimes. “A-ight, aight…yo, you better watch it fuckin with those white girls though…you know what happened to O.J.” Johnny shook his head, “If O.J. was with a black girl, she woulda had her cousins, her brothers and everybody she knew whup his ass. White girls are easier to control, they do anything for a good black dick (who doesn’t?-ed). But you’re right, I haven’t had a sista in…what, three days? Still, a blow job’s a blow job…and this was a damn good one. Trust me, my dick has an appointment with her tonsils again real soon.” *** That morning Jana woke up feeling like a million bucks. She stretched and hit her head. “Ow, what the fuck?” Jana usually slept in the middle of her bed, and her head was nowhere near the wall. But today she hit her head on the wall. She looked at her toes…they looked farther away than usual. There was a full length mirror in her room, so she got up and looked at herself in it. She wore a little T-Shirt and boxers to bed which usually were loose on her. This morning they were a lot tighter. She looked herself over. She had definitely grown, at least six inches overnight. Her body, which was tight anyway because of cheerleader practice and gymnastics, showed a lot more muscle, and her tits had grown from a B to a DD. “Well, looks like semen does a body a lot more good than milk does.”

(John Minus is in no way related to Don Imus.-Ed.)

brought to you by Dr. Pickles

your hand. —Douche Bag-obtain a large clear garbage bag, that has plenty of garbage and/or puke and wallow in it while grabbing at unsuspecting girls crotches. —Gum under desk-obtain the top of a lecture hall desk, wear a large pink blanket, stick desk to your dome. —Forty Ounce-dress up like your favorite malt liquor! Obtain label from forty ounce and apply to forehead, (Mad Dog, Red Bull, Bad Frog, and anything St. Ides works best.) note: drink at least 3 fortys before attempting, you are what you drink. —Rutgers Slut-put on usual attire, only wear underwear, proceed to do the normal nights activities of droppin E and suckin dick. —Tittie Monster-pull shirt over head in order to cover face (brown bag it) and draw a open mouth around your belly button. Happy Trick or treating, only take the good acid! (Dr. Pickles is not really a doctor, or a writer.-ed.)


FEATURES

Talent borrows, genius steals

I Like My Balls Covered in Gore

Wednesday October 27, 1999

One more thing to ponder in my clown world by Garrett Glick

Clowns do not often wear formal attire. I enjoy wearing Why is this? Do clowns not have balls formal attire and galas to attend? If not, we must ask ourselves why. Are clowns excluded from such events? If so, what Lies in an antiquated slumber, wildly supine, my dog, she sleeps. I rattle the could explain this unjust social phechain on the leash to get her attention. She awakes in the most groggy fashion, nomenon? Clowns are known to seeming to slowly stumble over rocky formations. The leash is finally upon her, wear clown suits, even clown shoes, and we venture to the cool breeze ridden sidewalks of my dog’s visionary empyrean. We walk and we walk, alluding to forever, I mumble to her, “squat god but why not anything else? This is dammit!” As we travel back and forth between driveways and grass, a snowfall of not right. All Americans should have flower pedals grace our steps, yet we walk unabashed. the freedom to wear a variety of The magnificent squat takes place about half way down the block. As usual I different garments, from sandals in the take out a plastic sandwich bag and manually pick up the piece, or pieces of shit. We take the walk back to the house, first disposing of the warm bag. Once in the day to ponchos at night, and if clowns lack this right well then someone house, the leash is systematically removed and a treat is granted to the good dog. must fight! Now I look forward to the most grisly act, the wiping of the dog’s ass. Yes, its either wipe the dog’s ass or eventually suffer for my own laziness and disgust. I have never seen a clown wearing Genius, a canine can hardly wipe it’s own ass, and secondly if I were to not take a tuxedo, a turban or a top hat. Rain care of this horrendous act, the dog would lick its ass clean and then intelligently or snow, day or night, they never wear come find me lying in my bed, and gladly give me a kiss, on the lips. So I did the a raincoat, they never flash their dirty and cleaned her ass. flashlights. In the age of juice making While I was down in the anal region of this four legged creature, I noticed something very peculiar, quite possibly an infection, so I poked and pinched, but I robots and toilets that solve riddles, in an age where technology is in am no veterinarian. I did what any good fiend would do and took some polaroids of abundance, one must ponder; are we still living in the Dark Age? the grotesque sight. I took the pictures to the vet, but she was not in her office. Freedom isn’t free! It never was and never has been. We fight for the Searching gloriously, I stumbled upon the gorgeous animal doctor, she was right to party, we fight for the rights of those named Marty. We fight with bending over on her front lawn, clipping her bushes. I confronted her with the our fists and we fight with our wrists, we fight with our minds we bust our disturbing film and she began to gasp for air. Shocked at her response, I quickly behinds. We assume clowns do not have balls and galas to attend, we take aided in her recovery, promptly grabbing every part of her womanhood to get her this information at face value. But we must remember taking things at back on her feet, I know, I am a true scumbag. The good doctor invited me in to search the grand annals of veterinary medicine. face value is the most expensive way to take them. Would you invite a clown to a ball or a gala? What prevents you from After a good blow and a hard search, we had found the exact cutaneous pathogenesis my pooch was suffering from. We rushed back to my home, where, in the doing so? Why do you exclude when you could so easily include? Do you hours since I walked her, the wound had massively and hideously malformed. not think that a clown would enjoy attending a ball or gala? I believe that The doctor noticed all sorts of a clown might get much enjoyment from such an event. Wouldn’t you? I woundage and decay on the dog’s backside. know such festivities very well might brighten my day, but who am I to Dr. Sweetits, well thats what I shall call her since I never caught her real name, began to say? Nonetheless, I’d like to see a clown in formal attire. Would such a go into great detail about my dog’s condisituation really be that dire? A clown in a top hat wouldn’t be so bad. A tion, Anal Sac Disease. Together we observed the distinct abscess dripping from clown in a sequined dress would that really make anybody mad? They the dog’s ass. That was just the beginning, could come for the caviar, stay for the tea, chat with the fellows ever so my dog was really fucked up. amiably. My poochie woochie was crying for my Clowns do not often wear formal attire. But let’s hope their efforts to help while I noticed something bizarre about her cries, well they weren’t really cries at do so never expire.

by Kyle Casketcruiser

all. Dr. Sweetits informed me about this odd malady. My dog had fucking Kennel Cough, not to make light of the situation, but have you ever heard of something as wild as “Kennel Cough?” There’s nothing funny about Extraction of a lung and some of those animal abuse anal sacs is what my dog needed to go through, immediately. Dr. Sweetits took my pooch under her arms and grabbed my hand rather intensely and swept us away to the surgeon’s quarters. send submissions to: Such a lovely operating ensemble the good doctor maintained. In a matter of hours my pooch was ready to rock and roll once again, minus a lung and having a gmg42@eden .rutgers.edu very sore ass. While she operated, Dr. Sweetits concentrated on the task at hand, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 but occasionally sent me glare of lust. 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 With the operation all done, the beautiful surgeon shoved my feeble dog right off 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 the table and told me, in that wonderful dominatrix voice of hers, to get on. She 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 didnt even clean the gore off the fucking table, but who was I to complain. Teasing 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 me with allusions of dissection, I got really fucking scared, but I kind of liked her 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 demented pleasures. The good doc ripped off my trousers and we went to town, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 my ass sliding around in drippy, rotting flesh. I threw her on her back side so her 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 ass could get all slopped up with gore and just as i was about to cum I felt my balls 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 and they were goddam swimming in a pool of abcess, but I liked it, alot. It was a 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 fine day for veterinary advancement I’ll say! (I’m going to kill myself immediately, 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 I’ll say-ed.) 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234

There’s only one thing John Madden likes more than football. Nude boys. That’s why he reads the Medium.

United We Stand, Divided We Fall!


ARTS & CULTURE

Hello Kiddies! Well, I know that all you little boys and girls are just Dying for Halloween to come around so you can get your treats. Well, as you know, I maime to please, so there’s lots of sexual treats for you this week. Just remember, don’t eat any candy from strangers, but it’s ok to fuck them.

A Halloween Treat The only treat Stewart wanted this Hallow-

Pork Rind? Pork rind.

grown bigger than he remebered, a full 9 incher...She sucked him hard, as if she wanted his come as much as he wanted to give it to her. His nuts got warm, hot even as they filled with sperm. He had never felt this way before, this chick knew exactly how to suck a guy off. This orgasm was going to be the strongest orgasm he ever had. They were fucking in his friend’s parent’s bedroom and he didn’t care. His only thought was of the huge tit that was being stuck into his mouth, the hot, wet twat that was lowering itself onto his painfully sensitive dick, and the gallons of sperm he was gonna shoot into her. Morrigan’s cunt tightened around his cock like a fist. He would’ve liked to have lasted longer, but his cum was screaming to be set free. “Give it to me human, give it to me, I need it, I need to feed.” Before he could think about what she said he squirted deep into her. He felt like his very life was being drawn out of him. The ecstasy was overpowering, blissfully he passed out and slept...forever. Morrigan shuddered slightly as she always did when she fucked someone to death. Morrigan is a succubus and succubus survive by stealing the life energy of men through sex. She glanced coily at Stewarts still cumming dead body. “I said you wouldn’t have a better fuck for the rest of your life...I just didn’t say how long that would be.”

een was some ass. He hadn’t been laid in what seemed like forever, and Halloween was just about the worst holiday for a single horny guy. He was at his friend’s Halloween party, and there were lots of women walking around in skintight revealing outfits...nurses, French maids, Catgirls. His dick was hard as hell, but his pants hid it; he chose a costume that he felt fit his personality...a clown. He tried to mingle, but none of the cuter girls would give him the time of day. Then he saw one girl who made him forget about all the rest of the tricks walking around this place. He noticed two things about her. Her costume was incredible. Huge, realistic looking wings came from her back, and two small ones stuck out from her gorgeous golden blonde hair. The second thing he notivced Morning Glory was her body. The biggest breasts he had ever seen called to him from the top of her dangerously lowBumpin Uglies by Sergio cut top. Her skin-tight bat decorated pantyhose were all that covered her beatiful round ass. He in My alarm rings early in the morning, waking me no way had a big dick, but now it got harder than it ever had before, creating a circus tent in the front up for class. I hate Monday morning. I can’t even think strait. As I get in the shower, of his circus pants. I wish it is Saturday and my “Hello” she said. Stewart week is over. As the warm on the other hand was in water hits my body, I become no condition to talk, as all aroused, thinking of the last of the blood in his body time I’ve been fucked. As was rushing madly to his I’m thinking, my hands penis. “You know Stewart, slowly reach my clit as they I’ve been watching you all work their magic. night, and I can tell that Enjoying, this you’re the only real man at sensation, I dream about my this party. I need a real ex-boyfriend’s hard cock. man Stewart. I need to be Just then, the shower curtain fucked by a real man like opens and a guy steps in. He you. Could you do that to intrigues me because his me Stewart? Could you black hair sharply contrasts FUCK me please? I would his sapphire eyes. His be ever so grateful, and I chiseled jaw complements the promise you will never rest of his solid, muscular have another fuck as good body nicely. But I was for as long as you live.” mostly surprised because Within minutes there are never any guys in Stewarts cock was in her New Gibbons. mouth. He had thought to Before I could say ask her her anything, he takes off his towel and exposes his long, name...Morrigan she said. She wanted him to know throbbing cock. My jaw drops in amazement as he wraps who’s name to scream out. His cock had definitely his arms around my wet body. He kisses me passionately as I wonder if I should be scared. He then runs his fingers through my hair and brushes his hand past my face and I decide to ignore every part of me that tells me to run away. I begin to kiss him back when I feel his expert fingers probing my pussy. As he plays with my clit, I can feel my legs turn to jello. Then he starts sucking on my nipples and I feel waves of pleasure run up and down my body. I have never been able to come so quickly before. This guy really knows what he is doing. Then he stops, looks deeply into my eyes and pins me against the wall. He puts his dick inside of me as I melt in pleasure. Expecting him to fuck me slowly, I am surprised as he jams his cock deep into my cunt. I wrap my thighs around him so that he can fuck me deeper.

WEDNESDAY October 27, 1999

An Odd Thought

by Roy Fokker "....Do you know the way to San Jose..." well that's the only part of what I know and I hope that it sticks in your head cause it's stuck in mine and dang if it ain't annoying. But anyway I was in a buffet the other day and while I was contemplating how I was going to get up I heard some little shit scream out that she wanted some JELLO. Then that saying went off in my head, "There's always room for JELLO", and as it was explained to me a long time ago JELLO is basically just sugar and won't take up much to any room in the stomach cause it will just disolve when eaten. I execpt that explaination, and with that I was forced to wonder .....WHAT THE HELL IS SUGAR FREE JELLO???? silver don’t turn lead, herd

Encouraged by this, he grabs my ass and starts pounding away. I can’t remember the last time anybody ever fucked me so hard. My whole body starts to tingle with excitement as he quickens his pace. I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t really care, though; I can feel myself starting to cum. And then I explode. I feel a rush of electricity as my orgasm engulfs me. My body starts to tremor as I tighten my legs around his waist. I can feel my pussy spasm around his cock. After what seems like a minute, I regain my senses and realize that he never stopped fucking me. Instantly, I cum again and again. It won’t stop, and each one is stronger than the last. I feel like my body is going to collapse when suddenly, he comes deep inside me. His—I suddenly regain my consciousness and realize that I’m going to be late for class. I have to stop daydreaming if I ever want to get any work done. I wonder why I’m so preoccupied with sex lately.

Gunnery Sargeant Hartman says... LISTEN UP YOU MAGGOTS! I’ve heard that none of you commie shit-piles has been writing for Arts. You fucking cocksuckers make me physically ill! Now if you don’t get your shit together and send stuff to heterofrenzy@hotmail.com I will gouge out your eyes and skull-fuck you! Do you numnut bastards understand that!


Wednesday, October 27, 1999 to that dead squirrel on college ave. by the post office: why the fuck did you die right in the middle of the sidewalk. next time haul you fat little squirrel ass over to the grass where you can decompose in peace without disturbing everyone around you. you're so fucking disgusting. to that fuckin' blond chick with the fuckin' foot phobia: what the fuck??? stop pickin' your toe lint! you fuckin' hate feet more than any other fuckin' person i fuckin' know, yet you fuckin' pick at your fuckin' toes more than anyone else! stop it!!! it's fuckin' gross! oh, and i'd be careful with your slippers too

this is to that 40 year old woman in justice in american society mth2, do you think you're so smart? why the fuck do you try to answer every fucking question the teacher asks. you're not funny either, no body laughs at your jokes, they laugh at your fat ass. i know you take the bus from one stop before the livingston student center, to one stop after, because its such a long walk(for all the freshman, there's one stop 8 seconds before the LSC and a stop 3 seconds after). why the shit do you wear flood pants, you're 40, and if you want to wear them at least shave your legs. and what is up with your hair, did you just have chemotherapy or something. a quick note to everybody else in the class, the next time she talks, start mooing really loud so noone can here her. and one last thing, doesn't the TA look like Mr. Freeze.

PERSONALS

Fran Lawrence likes manpussy. Ok, obviously the guys that write into this paper are obsessed with all us girls on cambell 2. You seem to have one thing backwards though. We haven't been giving the head... we have been recieving it! So while you think you are man enough because you write all that shit about us in the paper, I dare you to say it to my face. You should know me by my saying "chow the box". (Yay...more Campbell 2 fuel to add to the fire... Ok so you’re not sluts for giving head, you’re fucking whores for letting everybody eat that nasty snatch...)

To the fat bitch in personality psych mw8 on Douglass. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! No one wants to hear all of your damn questions. You tape the lecture anyway, so stop asking the teacher to repeat everything. I think you tape the lectures just so you can go home and masturbate to the voice of our professor. Just do everyone in the class a big favor (A common mistake, atleast and shut up! by me anyway, is to confuse the pussy with the asshole. to that slut from Perry who Before you tell someone there gave head in the Voorhees pussy smells like shit, make lounge.Keep your skanky ass sure that you are in fact sniff- out of our gazabo,WHORE! ing the correct area.) To Lauren and Kristie on Frelinghuysen 6. You are two Yo Plastic Boy from Pery, you of the hottest girls I've ever are a fucking asshole! You are seen in my life. The guys on going to regret that you fucked your floor must be so dumb or with my friend you fucking else they would be all over you. piece of shit. I don't know who I don't get it. Well, if you're you think you are, but you just ever looking for a real man, made your life a living HELL come find me.....I know how you fucking PRICK! to appreciate you two, and so (fuck shit vagina sex xxx do my friends..... asshole penis snatch (That personal was written skullfuck twat clitoris labia by a girl, really!!) majora ass implants poon) All of Barr 4 ain't sluts just Jae and JAe YOU SUCK DICK! Your tits are small, your anorexic, and your face is fucked up. Your probably have every STD there is. The rest of Barr 4 HATES YOU! They think your a whore! Maybe it's because you suck so much dick! Your pussy smells like shit!

TO THOSE FUCKEN GIRLS IN CAMPBELL 1 BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD'S WHO LIKE TO SING THE WORD. BIRDSHIT: OUTLOUND IN THE clean the bathroom. And stop MIDDLE OF THE FUCKEN stickin' your birdass in the air. NIGHT. THIS IS NOT A We know it's there. 6TH GRADE SLUMBER (Hi Gail...) PARTY. STAY IN YOUR ROOMS AND SHUT THE To the girl on the first floor of FUCK UP! Katzenbach, who gave us the (Keep personals to 50 words show in Nielson from her win- or less...and try to make (Girls are stupid...) 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 dow on 10/19 (You were them funny) 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 wearing a white bra,around 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 To the people who are com- 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 2:30pm) Keep up the good 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 plaining about the Backstreet 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 work. It never hurts to add a 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 Boys. Do you think we like to 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 little extra entertainment to the 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 hear you blast your fuckin punk 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 Rutgers dining "experience". 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 rock bullshit...NO WE 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 Window watcherS 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 DON'T! If you can play your 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 Todd Graham.... He’s the guy that writes the incoherent ramblings in the editorials sec1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 sergio, i love the whispered bullshit, we'll play ours, so 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 tion. We don’t know what he means, but its so damn funny watching him stumble over 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 conversations we have late at FUCK OFF! the english language, so we keep him around anyway. It’s like watching a quadriplegic 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 night when our owners are trying to swim... Enjoy kids! 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 sleeping; you're nothing like TO all the soccer players in 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 how e thinks you are. who CLOTHIER who think they're 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 (Here are some actual reader What the hell is wrong with 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 would have thought, a penis the shit...well guess what?! 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 responses to Todd Todd Graham? Fuckn kid 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 that's feminist! i'll meet you You're NOT!! You think ev- 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 Graham...You guys said it makes no sense. Why does the 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 medium keep him around? Isn't 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 ery girl wants you and they again on thursday for another 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 best...) 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 there a cow or goat on cook don't, you are a bunch of drunk 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 conversation *kisses* her 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 assholes, grow up and get 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 Todd Graham...12 inch that can write better than that? 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 this goes out to george in some lives!!! 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 dildo...stupid monkey...sock- I'll gladly donate my midget 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 hardenbergh, you are such a 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 covered bat...rocket porn to the medium as long as 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 hottie. i get so wet thinking (Actually, for whatever rea- 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 surgeon......ONE OF THESE i never have to read his shit 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 about you dancing around in son, soccer players get alot 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 Todd Graham, CC ‘01 THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE again 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 of ass.) 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 you're black underware like 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 OTHERS. ONE OF THESE I want to be the first to sign up Quotes: 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 you did last year in pell. every Let me tell you a little some- 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 THINGS DOES NOT BE- for the mediums' Todd Graham “You’d think that the use of the 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 time i see you i want to take thing about GUYS. They say 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 LONG as a second language course. term ‘staff writer’ would give 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 your hard cock and......ok i they like you, you hook up with 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 people a clue that I couldn’t have 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 Who is Tood Graham? I hope he isn't representing the meadmit it, this is george writing them and then they never talk 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 spoken for the Medium.” - TG 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 dium. The poor kid can't even represent himself. He walks 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 this, i can't find a date, i'm lonely to you again, nor do they ac- 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 around Cook campus like a fuckin fool with his YoYo, hangin 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 and i need a woman. amy la- knowledge your existance. All 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 “Then again, since when people 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 they want is one down to the ground...He can't even YoYo. The fucking gorilla dies can respond at 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 are known understand things as 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 thing...BOOTY! I think all girls 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 walks around having conversations with himself, talking in curiousgeorge@eden. 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 they were written.” - TG 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 should be asexual. You're all 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 tongues indecipherable to the ordinary human and when you 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 (That personal was written DICKS. 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 actually can understand him, he is usually talking about some 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 “Then, the onus would have been 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 by a girl....What up with 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 shit that no one wants to hear about. He should be forced out 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 (We find nothing wrong with 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 on the artist to explain himself.”1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 that?) 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 of Rutgers housing and banished to the woods behind the cook 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 having meaningless sex...and 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 TG 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 student center where future students might spot him like bigfoot, 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 (Send personals to we strongly encourage lesbi- 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 the freak that he is. 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 medium_personals@email.com) anism) 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 “we mind as well get comfy”-TG 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789

THAT ZANY TODD


PERSONALS

Halloween began as the Christian festival for manpussy.

Wednesday, October 27, 1999

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God Must Have Spent from YOU KNOW WHO! shower where your bug in- address? i mean, demon ....A Little More Time......On Hey plastic boy you faggety yea....and fested cunt has been naked. server??? does a little devil You.....oh pinocchio-looking fuck. Keep you probably fist your self in send me back my mail on a sil- MANNY'S GAY your penny-stick dick in your my shower, and in your room ver platter? i dont think so. its (You are so fuckin gay..is that fucking pants and leave the thats why it smells like fucking probably some loser with a an N’Sync quote? Did you sweet cookie in the Cookie Jar rotting whales on the beach huge hairy ass that sits in front wash your pussy out today, alone. Stay the fuck out of stupid whore your not cool of his computer all day send- cuz I can smell it from here.) Voorhees freak! until you catch every STD on ing back mail and cackling To those assholes who keep (MMmmmm...sweet cookie) campus right? I guess Im not about it devilishly. well HAHA giving me fucking parking tickTo Mike from Perry, I dont cool, also, wear a bra and you got us! i hope u stab your- ets all over campus, if I ever know why you fucking think stop telling us not to wear un- self through your cock with see you giving me or anyone you know everything cause derwear we dont want to know your pitchfork. from the ever else a god damn parking ticket your an ignorant fucking your crusty stankin cunt is notorius nutsac and vagina pins again, I'm going to run you over cocksucker. Its funny how you breathing my air. you stink up (Actually a daemon, note the with my car and then get out of act like everyones your friend my entire fucking wing damn spelling, is any process that the car and have the infamous but we all think your fucking slut go get a dildo actually I runs on a server that handles todd who wrote that stupid arannoying Grow up bitch I hope dont think they make dildos input/ouput through a ticle last week in the medium your dick falls off from fucking that big un less you get a fucking socket...How’s it feel to be rape you as you die-thank youThe DJ Arpine we saw you fuck her in baseball bat or three damn stupid?) fucking dirty bitch. the woods you fucking horney WHAT IS UP WITH THE Mike you fucking degenerate GOD scumfucker Stay away from DAMN B Sioban, she doesnt want your (Those that are hot should piece of shit. Why must you BUS?!?!?!??!? 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(once again, personals go out in public...) your hands you dirty cum suck- to that whore on the top floor should be under 50 words ing son of bitch so you just of silvers apartments: please and funny) This is to the fuck slut whore spread your fishy ass juice all keep it down next time you are To the mother of the illegal im- bitch who took a dump wrote over the place. fucking. my roommate and i migrant on Barr2...Your mom "MOTHER LOAD" in the I have a big hairy ass, and I am were thoroughly disgusted. sucks a horrible schwanz, so New Gibbons A laundry room: proud. I want to let the world we're glad you finally got some naturally I cummed in her eye. If I ever find out who you are I She threatened to call our Pre- am going to stick my blow know about my big hairy ass and were enjoying yourself, but ceptor, so I threatened to call dryer in your anus and turn it and how proud I am of it. we did not need to hear you INS...She then ran away. on high and and sick rabid Sometimes, late at night, when praising the lord. we hope it From all of us on Barr2, go hop dogs on you, you disgusting I am lonely, I whip out my big wasn't anal sex. hopefully you hairy ass and braid the hair. didn't get anal warts from his a fucking fence! -Sticky fucking idiot, in need of a colin Then I run aroud the hallways dirty cock. from your conTo Cook/Douglass Housing: cleansing psychopath ho of my dorm screaming 'Look cerned neighbors, peace. You are the most incompetant bitch!!! at my big beautiful hairy donut munching, lard ass cofass!!!!!" and people look. But a funny fee breaking can't even fit (Thats then they usually run away through the door to come over prank...shiting in the wash- screaming. I wish they could and fix something because ing machine...writing mother appreciate my big hairy ass. you're too porky sons of bitch load..hahahahah..and good When I walk into Voorhees anus licker dog's ass fucking idea for revenge, blow dry- park I flash all the penguins that ers are always fun!) cockless fucks on campus! are chillin on the big block of

WARNING ASSHOLES:

Not all Douglass girls are dykes. Some of us do like cocks! (You’re a sick pathetic liar. The only thing Douglass girls do with cocks is hang them on their wall as trophies.)

To that fuckn hottie Vicki over in Gibbons, I wanna fuck you in the ass so bad. Do me a favor, drop the chalupa, bring that brown ring over here, and let me slap your wet back.

ice. They appreciate my big hairy ass. Especially the big one. his name is Sam Maloogaloogalooogalooga. to that hot guy in my p&p class with the dragoon on the back of his head....gimme a piece!

To the tiny Chink BITCH on CAMPBELL 1 - Why do you wear low-cut shirts when you have no tits? No one wants to see your triple A cleavage!! Why don't you learn how to put your eye make-up on?? Maybe that's just a chink thing that you put the make-up under your eye instead of over. Stop fuckin' the ghetto guy across the hall you slut b/c we don't want him to get a disease. So before you make fun of someone else in Campbell look at your ugly ass bitch self. So start being courteous to others, than they will be courteous to you, or maybe not BITCH!! To the LOUD ass tennis BITCHES on CAMPBELL 1 and 2. Your squeaky voices are so fuckin' annoying. Shut the fuck up for once!! Stop acting like stuck-up snobs b/c no one appreciates it! And to the Campbell 1 girl, stop it with the guy down your hall b/c he's using you for ass, and he's in love w/ his girlfriend. In conclusion, you both can shove your tennis rackets up each other's asses To that girl Lauren who works in the rec center at cook. your tits are fucking amazing. next time you are working why don't you come in NAKED! P.S. Lose that Zero and get with the Hero (We’d like to inform everyone that that last line is a quote from “Cool as Ice” starring Vanilla Ice.) to bill- remember what i wanted to ask you?well i am still so chickenshit that i have to do it through the medium. i think you know what it is.anytime, baby, anytime you want.


Wednesday, October 27, 1999 you fucking dirty whore in matia 3...your pussy is so fucking stretched out i had to put my foot up that shit to give u some pleasure... stop fucking callin me u psychotic bitch... your face looks like ass...i swear if u didnt' have bit tits i wouldn't touch tha shit wit a fuckin ten foot pole this is to the guy in quad 2:....YOU ARE EVIL!!!!! you are the epitome of slimeballs....don't think that i dont' know what shit you were saying about it....all made up by you you piece of shit....loser, you have nothing better to do than make up shit like that...don't think you'll be getting your socks back... (You should suck his cock because he is a man and you are an inferior woman...and keep the socks) To that FAT fucking bitch on tinsley 4, you are SOOOOO fucking fat! I hate you! And what the fuck is with that rap you play in your room? you are so fucking white, its not funny! I hope you choke the next time you eat one of those steaks you eat every hour! OHMYGOD! And that stench you create, HOLY SHIT!! to the girl who still thinks she is a cheerleader,your not so stop dressing like you are. and to the Ambercrombie and Fintch clique you guys can be annoying and to the girl who wears pj's 24-7, yo stop stalking the preceptor, it is so obvious. you guys are all wierd! To the cum-guzzling road whores of T4! Stop fellating 87% of the student body at Rutgers! You're making me fucking smad! Don't even try bringin' your ghettobooties up in my piece because your loose cooters aren't getting me up. I'll whip you with my 12" flacid penis! SONYA WINS! FATALITY! To the stupid nerdy girl with the clear book bag on wheels. What the sweet fuck is wrong with you, you lazy sloppy bitch? (MANPUSSY MANPUSSY MANPUSSY MANPUSSY MANPUSSY MANPUSSY MANPUSSY MANPUSSY MANPUSSY MANPUSSY)

Fran Lawrence is the guy dressing up as a straight man for Halloween.

TO PJ TEPPS FROM T2!!! You got so many damn nicknames to go wit dat fine ass! Give us a piece you funny piecce of manmeat! The Ladies LOVE cool james! make us melt! To the two hott bastards in the Starkeys....yeah....the Tom Green Boy and that rock-star bass player...do me...do me now...do me do me...jit me baby...all night long...please? Reply via the Medium LGO Groupie. To that BIfucking coastal motherfuckin pimp on T4. You have so many ho's..how do you get so many ho's? you must have a big fucking sausage. I wanna fry it up and we can eat it with my scrambled eggs. You are so fuckin hot. I'll give you some T&A!!!!

To the girl in our F4 Physics lecture. We saw you with your hands between your legs the whole class. We find it totally cool that you can masterbate so openly. Next time don't be afraid to let out a little moan of estacy. We know that you are really a slut so next time look for the kid in the blue hat. He will sit next to you and let him do some of the work. You don't have to completely fly solo on this one. Maybe you two could hook up.

To whoever wrote the personal that came out in the Oct 20th Medium(it started out: "To that odd dick in my M/TH2 Pers Psych class..."), you need to be more specific. There are more than one of us odd, strange haired, psychotic guys that sit near girls and make random to greg on livingston, friend of comments during lecture!! But Kelvin. you are the hottest about that class...to those two piece of ass we've ever seen. girls that constantly get heckwe want your body. all eight of led and spoken to by Prof. O during lecture because you us. give it up. ATTN WANG DING on both are talking: you're both LIVINGSTON: I HAVE ALL fucking gorgeous. Anyway, I YOUR UNDERWEAR AND think it's funny as hell that the I WEAR THEM. I SHIT IN professor stops lecture to emTHEM. I PISS IN THEM. barrass the two of you. THEN I SELL THEM ON To that sexy black man who EBAY. I WANT $1,000,000 wears those hats all the time: I or I'll keep on doing it. and to always see you at the grease that same chinese kid with the trucks buying a fat cat and brown nova, I WANT TO some orange soda. Fuck you, SUCK YOUR WANG DING buy some healthy food, COCK respond to asshole. CASKETCRUISER To the ugly ass ms. piggy look alike in my psych mw6 class with leyton, you are soo fucking ugly you deserve a good thrashing with the medium's 12 inch strap on up the ass To the Rutgers Dance Team, I give them a big two nipples up. Damn those fuckin blondes on that team look so fucken good and innocent. Especially the blonde on the back row ( facing the crowd) 2nd to last on our left side, Damn Baby!!! Can I have some Fries with that Shake that you make? To any RU Dancer write back to M21 and I'll show you how to really Dance!

CAMPBELL 6 IS HOT AS HELL!!!!! Their preceptor is cool as hell and the women are so fucking fine. They are so not like Campbell 2 whores. These women got class so if you want to get away from the everyday whores and skanks go to Campbell 6. (For a good time, visit Campbell 2 and tell them the personals editors sent you. They’ll lick it smooth and all the way through if you do.) This is for that fake ass Lanre in Silvers. Yo, yo fake ass chinese yankee hate wearing fag. Yea u know who u are u walk around trying to kick it to every girl and get played out. Why dont u get a blow-up Doll so u can get ass. DUECE To THE STUPID ASS BITCHES IN MCCORMICK, YOU ARE NUTTIN BUT DUMBS ASS HOES, GET A FUCKIN BRAIN, DAMN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVEN'T SUCKED ALL OF OUR BOYS DICKS BY NOW, FUCK THAT, BY THE END OF THE YEAR YOU WILL, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU DAMN SLUTS, COMIN IN WIT A DIFFERENT MAN EVERY WEEK, YOU KNOW YOU WANT OUR FUCKING COCKS, JUST SAY SO AND YOU'LL GET IT

PERSONALS If you hate the fact that you can't find a Snapple on campus, thank President Fran Lawrence whom had sold us to Coca-Cola. Even our bottled water is from Coke as are the Minutemaid juices in the dining halls. I want to challenge the university on the grounds that its undemocratic to have private commercial vendors at a public university. Furthermore, the university refuses to show us, the students, this contract. As they have told me, its "private". Well, if you want to help me, e-mail: robstev@eden. TO ALL THOSE BITCH ASS MARCHING BAND FAGS WHO ARE HAVING WET DREAMS ABOUT WINNING SOUP BOWL. fORGET IT GET PUSSY, 'CAUSE THERE'S A NEW DADDY IN TOWN. BEWARE CHEF! To MIKE the stupid effeminant voice, kiAke, fat, NEW YORK GAY hair cut mother fucker who thinks he knows everything, and never admits he's wrong. put your butt plug in tonight, because I'm gonna take my black 10 inch veiny COCK and shove it up your ass until you bleed. (Quit tooling for anus and write better personals you horse cock sucking hillbillies. Send them to medium_personals@email.com)

Medium meetings, Wednesday nights @ 9:30 in the LSC Rm. 113. We gonna do some fuckin!

to the cool ass band on t1: we want you. you guys rock da house. give us your bodies. there are two of us.


What’s Shakin’

candy cornsanish1@eden may cause cancer

OPINIONS

Wednesday, October 27, 1999

Back in the day Halloween was an ancient Celtic COME TO THE MEDIUM MEETINGS ... WEDNESDAY, 9:30, Rm 113, LSC festival called Samhain in which sacrafices (including human) were used to bring in the Celtic new year and mark the time in which the world of the dead and living became one. Nowadays we dress up like Darth Maul and go around begging complete strangers for food Plum St. Pub while costume companies make a lot of money. The Ex Models Leave it to Christianity and Capitalism to take the fun out of a great holiday. Oh well. At least we still have Orgy Day ...

Happenings!@#

Thursday, 10/28

Submit Events to DESARNOC@EDEN or burn in hell!

Court Tavern High School Sweethearts TR6 Tumulty's Michael Massimo

For Advertising info contact hthomp@home.com

Court Tavern Aviso' Hara Caged Heat The Ex Models

Sunday, 10/31 Court Tavern Ike Willis Project Object

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 30 DROPKICK MURPHY'S ANTI-FLAG BLOOD FOR BLOOD BOMBSHELL ROCKS Doors @ 6:30pm $8 adv / $10.00 door SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31 MEPHISKAPHELES CATCH 22 INSPECTER 7 STEP LIVELY FRIENDLY FIRE PROFESSOR PLUM MELMAC Doors @ 3:00pm $8 adv / $10.00 door

For more info or directions, call Jordan @ (718) 531-3759

PUNK & SKA-LLOWEEN WEEKEND @ THE TEMPLE! @ THE TEMPLE, 2166 Benson Ave - BROOKLYN, NYC (corner of Bay Pkwy & Benson Ave)

I, the apeman, will be walking pantsless for the entire day of November tenth. I reside on Livingston, so all should come and watch me frequent buildings such as Lucy Stone Hall, Tillett Hall, and the Quads and Towers. I expect to turn a few heads!

Saturday, 10/30

** Advanced tickets for both shows are available at SOAPBOX RECORDS located in Manhattan on St. Marks Place between 1st Ave. & Ave. A. ** Get advanced tickets or arrive early - shows will sell out! **

The following is the greatest event I have had sent to me so far. God bless you, apeman. This page is dedicated to you ...

Hey Everybody, stop leaving shit hanging off the side- Love, EiC

NOVEMBER 10

We kid cause we love ... I mean hate.

Satanic Fran says:

Friday, 10/29


10/29/1999