December 10, 2010

An A-Z guide to survive Finals Week.

The pitfalls of homecoming relationships.

Winter sports preview

See Page 6,7

See Page 5

See Page 10

The Royal Banner

Fairview High School

Vol. 51 No.5

1515 Greenbriar Blvd. Boulder, CO 80305

Friday, December 10, 2010

Guess whose facial hair: No-Shave November Through the month of November, students, faculty, and staff participated in the hairy endeavour of No-Shave November. The pictures below feature some of the highlights. Can you name that beard? Answers on page 3.

a.

Photos: Stan Whitcomb

e.

d.

Finals Schedule:

c.

b.

f.

Monday

Tuesday

9:00 - 11:00 AM Testing Block #1

Period 4

Periods 3

Periods 1

Periods 2

12:00 – 2:00 PM Testing Block #2

Period 6

Periods 5

Periods 7

Periods 8

7:35 – 8:55 AM Tutoring time/makeup testing 11:00 – 11:55 AM Lunch Block

Wednesday Thursday

Royal Banner

2

News

Friday, December 10, 2010

Q&A with Fairview Student Teacher Jenelle Winter (JW): Why did you decide to become a teacher?

Courtney Nicholson (CN): I’ve always loved working with people. I like learning and I enjoy listening to people’s ideas and gaining insight into the way that other people view our world. I’ve worked in several schools in other, less fortunate, countries and those experiences have made me aware of just how much an education can influence a life. Having an education provides us with opportunities and the ability to make choices about the way we live our lives. Being informed and educated gives us power and offers us prospects that we would not have had Ms. Nicholson (STAN WHITCOMB). otherwise. I decided to become a teacher because FREE Pizza I believe that education is vital to make positive When you buy a Pizza of Equal or Lesser Value semester and I am so grateful for this experience! changes in our lives as well as in our world.

I loved getting to know all of the students in our On The Hill more about their interests and JW: What are you going to miss about Fair- classes and learning 1110 13th Street their lives. I’ve met some really amazing people this view?

Boulder, CO 80302 semester that I hope to stay in touch with for a long CN: The people! All of the staff members here at 303-­444-­1511 time to come.

Fairview have been so welcoming and helpful while Expires Jan. 31, 2011 Oh, and my office.

I’m going to miss my cute little I was doing my student teaching. I’ve really learned

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JW: Since you were a student at Fairview, is it weird coming back and teaching here?

CN: It’s certainly strange to be back and to see kids running down the halls, laughing with friends at their lockers, or performing on the stage and thinking that I did that exact same thing in that same place... But to be honest, a lot has changed since I went to school here; sometimes it doesn’t even feel like the same place! There are a lot of new faculty members that have come to Fairview in the past few years and the remodel has made much of the school look and feel quite different. As always, it is a great school and I’m so happy to be back here at Fairview.

JW: Would you want to be a full time teacher here?

CN: Of course, I would love to work here! Fairview is a wonderful school with a fantastic staff, and you can’t ask for a better location than Boulder.

I’m also still really interested in traveling and doing some more teaching abroad, so I’m not sure yet what my next step is going to be…

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News

3

St. Jude Heroes club strives to give

By LEO LEONG

St. Jude Club members Lena Basta and Iris Belenski, juniors, hold a bake sale (STAN WHITCOMB).

St. Jude Heroes, one of the newer clubs at Fairview, strides forward this year hoping to raise funds to help St. Jude Children’s Hospital fight cancer.

St. Jude Hospital is a research hospital seeking cures for cancer. When a new cure is discovered, St. Jude Hospital shares the research to hospitals around the world. The hospital does not charge families for their treatments.

Lisa Driscoll, senior started St. Jude club at Fairview last school year. “Our primary focus is to raise funds for St. Jude Children’s Hospital which is located in Memphis, Tennessee,” said Driscoll.

Driscoll said that her motivation to run St. Jude club is her family. “ Many people in my family have been diagnosed with cancer,” said Driscoll. “I feel that St. Jude is a

wonderful organization to support.”

The Team Up event is a major fundraiser St. Jude club host to raise funds. Team Up event took place on December 3 at Fairview. The event asked Fairview students to write letters to friends and families asking for financial support. According to Driscoll, Fairview High School was the first high school in Colorado to have a letter writing campaign for St. Jude Hospital.

Besides the Team Up event, St. Jude club is planning on hosting other fundraisers and events. “We plan on having many bake sales, benefit concerts, and more next semester,” Driscoll commented.

Fairview students can get involved by contacting the club for extra letters to write or become a club member. St. Jude club meets every other Wednesday block lunch in room 854.

Officer Pedigo evacuating the premises

By MIAH YAGER AND VALLY DIKOVITSKAYA

It’s the end of an era for a member of the Fairview community. School resource officer Brian Pedigo is moving on after two years of service at the school.

“All the people and students I met were the best part of working here,” he said. “Except Ron,” he joked, referring to his co-worker Ron Saleem.

He may seem intimidating in his officer clothing and his coffee mug in hand, but most students here like him because of his friendly nature. “He’s a good dude,” said senior Cole Bradley.

Pedigo is changing positions from school officer to “patrolling graveyards.”

This means he will be working between nine at night and seven in the morning, the night shift. “Tell your friends to watch out for me,” he said.

The Boulder Police Department is so small that officers rotate duties every five years, so Pedigo must relieve his duties at Fairview. Someone new will be taking his place at the start of the next school year.

Pedigo hopes to return to Fairview as soon as he can, but that is “not for a couple of years.”

School resource officer Brian Pedigo has reached the end of his term (STAN WHITCOMB).

Answers to the “Whose Beard” Competition: a) Alex Bisberg, Senior; b) Paul Strode, Biology teacher;

c) Alex Lorentzen, Senior; d) Dan Neidringhaus, History Teacher; e) Pablo Mendieta, Senior; f) Patrick Burke, History teacher.

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Royal Banner, Fairview High School, 1515 Greenbriar Blvd., Boulder, CO 80305 or e-mail us at: royalbanner10@gmail.com Accurate reporting of fact is the goal of the staff. Commentaries, opinion columns and letters to the editor are the expressed opinion of the author and not of The Royal Banner and its Editorial Board or its adviser. *Disclaimer: Under Colorado law, no expression made by students in the exercise of free speech or freedom of the press shall be deemed to be an expression of school policy. No school district, employee, legal guardian or official of such a district shall be held liable in any criminal action for any expression made or published by a student. The Royal Banner sells advertisements for publicity and to pay for printing costs. We reserve the right to refuse to run any advertisement deemed inappropriate to the Fairview community.

Let’s face it, Fairview, the GPA is a primary motivator for many students here.

This is a problem to discuss another day, but to me, step number one in changing the school’s focus on GPA is to get rid of “weighted” grades.

Emily Sandoval I know this sounds crazy for those of you with a highly inflated 4.9999999, but please, just let me explain.

Weighted grades cause people to become more concerned with credit than actual learning. For example, a friend of mine (who shall remain anonymous) took all of her unweighted classes online so that their mere 4.0 weight wouldn’t tarnish her perfect 5.0. (And may I point out that we all know the true merits of a BYU online gym class.) What the heck, Fairview? Is this really what we’ve come to? The fierce competition for a lofty GPA is slowly murdering the well-rounded student.

If we really want to enter college as well-prepared scholars, we can’t just take a bunch of weighted classes and ignore educational electives. We have to ac-

Op/Ed tually learn something besides differential equations, like how to sew, or cook, or use a computer. Unweighted classes deserve some recognition too.

I’ll admit it, I took Advanced Physics this year just because it was a weighted, non-IB course (couldn’t hurt my GPA, right?), but it’s an attitude like this one that is detrimental to the learning environment of Fairview.

Think about it: if there were no weighted grades, you could take that extra art class. Maybe you really hate standardized tests like the AP and IB exams, so your GPA could afford college-prep Language Arts.

The opportunities are endless!

I do realize that kids who take more challenging courses do deserve some kind of reward. Hey IB kids, why not just be satisfied with your advanced knowledge of astrophysics or the college credit you can earn through exams? Why isn’t learning something new and challenging satisfying to us?

In my opinion, weighted grades are the main cause of unnecessary and unhealthy competition among students at Fairview. We shouldn’t judge one another on the weight of our classes, but on the actual knowledge we have gained from them.

A plea for the abolition of weighted grades

Point/Counterpoint:

Should we keep weighted grades?

Weighted grades aren’t the problem I can still feel the ringing pain in my neck. A response to the sheer arrogance of the following statement, I had the worst double-takeinduced whiplash of my life.

“Hey, what’s the chemistry homework?

Oh right, you’re in stuLindsay Sandoval pid science.”

After a few minutes of seeing scarlet, I calmed down. Sure, I had jokingly referred to my regular chemistry class as “stupid science” in front of my genius friends before, but I figured no one actually believed that. Truthfully, I put a lot of blood and sweat into that class, even if it had the dubious “college prep” label.

Frustrated, I hated defending my decision to take a regular science class to my peers and their parents.

Why did it matter, anyway?

Then my thoughts turned to the athletes of the school. How could a reasonable high school student put in 15 hours of practice and games each week AND maintain a high grade point average? That lifestyle decidedly deserved respect.

The beauty of high school lies in the diversity of our choices, and the classes we select are simply another component of that vast experience. Weighted grades aren’t the problem; it’s the internal pressure

we place on students and the de facto prejudices among IB, AP, and college prep kids.

Fairview culture, I’ve found, has an often myopic view of success. It’s as if grade point averages are the arbitrary scores posted after an ice-skating performance, glossing over the nuances of a routine. I cringe when kids post “35 on the ACT!!! Score!!!” on their Facebook walls and talk about their prospective colleges like old men discussing fine wines.

What we need is a collective attitude adjustment, where the 4.8 student is venerated as equally as the guitar phenom who takes regular history. Where the girl who works five nights a week is considered just as responsible as the boy who took five advanced science classes. Where the guy who has ADHD has the same capacity for success as the kid who gets a 5 on his AP Literature test.

In a town as unique as Boulder, undoubtedly the hue of values will vary from person to person. Some will devote hours to keep up with a heavy course load; others will make movies or perfect their jumpshot.

Thankfully, I truly believe Fairview supports arts, academics, athletics, and volunteerism with equal zeal.

And I believe students are mature enough to make choices--even sacrifices-- for themselves.

I love being a spectator of any Fairview event, watching the stereotypes evaporate from the audience. A spectacular soccer goal is simply spectacular.

A sweet jazz lick is simply sweet.

No G.P.A. could ever measure that.

Royal Banner Friday, December 10, 2010

Op/Ed

Triple Entendre

By Stan Whitcomb

Homecoming High:

The tidal wave of new found relationships simmers down as we head into December

In general, the end in simple heart break, but it can be a slipholiday season pery slope when it comes to inexperienced high between Thanks- schoolers caught in the midst of confused love giving and Christ- and feelings. mas is a time for us In high school, dances and “get togethers” to stuff our faces, can cruelly pair people together only to sickspend time with ly toy with their emotions when reality tears family, and selfishly them apart. December, more or less Thanksgivdemand gifts ing break though finals, becomes the month of that we don’t evaluation, as lust filled boys try to move the Kevin Waida have the money relationship to the “next level” and girls rely on to purchase ourselves. This season is also the the mostly false hope that boys legitimately care make or break of the seemingly solid relation- about their infinite amount of feelings. Then the ships formed in the weeks immediately follow- trail of rumors, tears, and lost friendships takes ing homecoming. As we roll through December, its toll. Sure, some couples decide that they do those relationships are cruindeed “care” about one another, cially evaluated and few make “The sick mind of high school and the mutual agreement it through the rough trials and uses dances to pair people to- of spending time together tribulations brought forth in the gether, and uses the real world outside of school continhigh school realms. As teenagues. Other couples tear to tear them apart.” ers, we are emotional, hormonal, the landscape apart, as greedy, and lust driven. Unfortulong time friends turned nately, these are not the characteristics of a suc- couples tear apart each other in hopes to regain cessful duo, but instead the undermining factors any lost self confidence. of broken hearts and hurt emotions In high school, girls are absolutely crazy, comAs humans, we are desperate for companion- plete with more emotions than any boy could ship, relying on the foundation or “social norm” ever handle. Boys, on the other hand, are jerks, we believe in that there is indeed someone out being selfish and greedy in the pursuit of sex. there to spend our lives with. The missing part The proper process involves a girl that sees the of this rule is that finding a soul mate is not a nice side of a jerk and a boy that sees the sane task often accomplished in high school. The cor- side of the crazy girl. Homecoming doesn’t rerect approach is to develop those skills that re- spect that process. Instead it throws together sult in a successful acquisition of a mate later in hormone driven teenagers in a hot and sweaty life. Instead, we desperately cling to the first per- dance and tries to create couples. son we find that has seemingly serious interest in In a sad and bitter conclusion, the sick mind of us, hoping that it will lead to the promise land of high school uses dances to pair infinite amounts happiness the social norm seemingly guaranteed of people together, and uses the real world to us as young children. tear them apart. As we move into December, I Instead, these rapidly formed post-homecom- urge you to take notice of your friends and their ing relationships lead to problems. Bonds made homecoming date turned girlfriend. Observe in such a fury create a direct path to emotional them, carefully and cautiously, and try not to pains, psychological problems, drugs, alcohol, grin as you see reality takes its toll and create lower grades and unwanted pregnancies. Sure, heartbreak and despair among your colleagues. the normal post-homecoming relationship may

5 The mind of an unrepentant geek

A LARP only in the loosest sense You are, of course, familiar with the concept of LARPing-or, at least you think you are.

LARPing is when geeks get together, wear crappy costumes and hit each other with fake swords, right? Right?

WRONG. Dead bloody wrong, Tristan Hill as a matter of fact. About as wrong as it is possible to be. The spectacle that has been put on at the so called Olympiad for the past several years is about as far away from LARPing as it is possible to be while still successfully besmirching the reputations of those who participate in the real thing.

Let me include a quick disclaimer that all those who organized or participated in the LARPing event are undoubtedly wonderful individuals and committed this atrocity against actual LARPers accidentally. All insults are directed at the event itself.

First off: the Olympiad event defies the fundamental nature of LARPing. Many people know that LARPing stands for Live Action Role Playing, but very few consider what that means. Let me run that past you one more time: live action role playing.

Does something there seem a bit out of place?

The fact of the matter is that the Olympiad LARPing event completely ignores the second half of the acronym itself. Presumably the participants are alive, and they’re certainly engaging of action of some variety, but any and all traces of role playing are conspicuously absent.

LARPing is about storytelling! It’s about creating a character and developing it to the point where it becomes a person in and of itself! Hell, it’s really more an improv acting drill than a game, when it boils down to it. None of this whatsoever was present at the event, replaced with a total focus on the sword fighting aspect of the game--an aspect that is not even present in a large number of LARPs. Not to say that the event even got the sword fighting right. Again, this isn’t precisely the fault of the participants--no one could fight decently with weapons that I can state for a fact have been sold at the dollar store down the street from Fairview.

LARPers take pride in the skill and style that goes into sword fighting. Winning takes a secondary seat to finesse--there’s no point in winning a fight in a LARP if you don’t make it look good.

The Olympiad did not make it look good. It didn’t even make it look like a fight. It looked like a bunch of kids who had never even seen a real fight before beating each other about the head with foam sticks.

What’s the point of laying out the rules of the game if you don’t even make a cursory attempt to follow them? To say that any particular team won the event is laughable. The participants flailed at each other until the judges arbitrarily declared one team the winner.

Calling it a competition is a misuse of the word.

Events like this make it clear that the stigma that LARPers suffer is in no way due to our own doing. The myth of the pimply teenager shouting ‘lightning bolt!’ at his friends while flailing his arms is a construct assigned to us by a society that did not even bother asking what our practices were really about.

Look at real LARPers, and then look at the belittling staged youtube skits and faux-LARPing events like the one featured in the Olympiad. Then ask yourself: which culture is really the pathetic one? fnord [/nerdrage]

Royal Banner

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Friday, December 10, 2010

Unlock the stress

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Wickham’s Advice:

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Aries (M arch

21-April

Coloring Co ntest!

Color Frosty in an original way! Submit y our drawing to Room 814 b y January 19 to win a specia l prize!

Artemis

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Survival Guide for a Relaxing Finals Week Finals H oroscope s

7

Friday, December 10, 2010

you

Top 10 Studying Tips

6. Set goals. F or instance, “I want to finish for my math fi studying nal by seven p .m .” Then when close to seven it gets you will be mot ivated to finish studying stron your g.

B y M e g a n D eBruyn

1. Do and study thoroughly the review sheet for the class 2. Reread all notes 3. Look over all homeworks and make sure that you can still work the problems

or food or with things that you may like, TV is may be for more creative things to do. (Th teachers too if it gets crazy.) it differently.

For some people they might do classes where They may do some homework in they might so n ntio they don’t have to pay atte to do. So e hom to refrain of taking homework to them talk n teachers if some one is like this the or their parents about it. ize that not So as weeks go on by, you have to real ool or in colonly stress is number one in high sch have wonderful lege but the best thing to do is to you know that friends and amazing family to let you ever wantthat ing having a passion is everyth colleges, you to g ed. For seniors who are applyin n to your gut liste have to take one step at a time to who are out s and find yourself again. For teacher r students care there, you have to realize that you your students about you even you are screaming at and try to find when they don’t do their work, py. For juniors, those moments when you feel hap homework is only not en, sophomores, and freshm r passions you to ion really hard, but your dedicat school no high in is your number one thing to do matter where you are.

Advic s ’ n i erw

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Features

s way el rel a , , r e i dren ooph ery yea lap... I fe ther l i 1. Eat Breakfa M h st, no excuses. e o m. as c , delecunt om ev nta’s 7. Even if your h A d Not only on th t e nals, but espec r v m e m a a ost important l et e days of your lo ially the weeke Dea finals are not un Wednesday or My it on S ally sinc than I anfind before. Wit ver the swe d appea stomach, your e Thursday, star til n S i s c h a meal in yo n l e r studying will b t studying over

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a r e n er y ng es 3. Yes, it is Frid eith of babi st autho charmi live pe ng men s or mo on a log you ma ation, gam , n y l ay. Suck it up r e e d u s r l e 9. n Sleep: an hour and go home. an study early on ear d highe itively you ca pest yo ne cal scaped lion in humili ince eind of sleep is wor t r S The more you “ e the more pleas l f th of studying. o more than an ant Sunday wil tab secon o a pos where t shar our pho o has e apscal or the hour l be for you.

Sick e f h t s y r o 4. Only drink to th ate you exic o are ju apping etsey w little her pay caffeine if you M c 10. Study in gr are used to it, age your perfo relo oast of ds. Wh ually t young B er. The our mot . oups; however if not it can da rmance during , m y e n ak y r m c e m em su b re ers are as dedi finals. the group the rug lo is conti y a good m Saw aking perienc cated to studyi d M o m ak n x n g e sure to supp as you are.

5. Take breaks lement this wit and ur mom now ma ittle T ry and doubt e between study ing also. h individual st l e o sessions even hind. The effici udyif you feel beif y ity, I k eh like uldugg will no ency of your st udies will be at v u k p you study in b i their highest if ursts. act suhsip some s rapy yo s e Mi king in s of th a r t a r te, pa and ye vori ophie a f n o r pai You unt M

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BY MEGAN

MOORE

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Royal Banner Friday, December 10, 2010

8 Boonin-Vailable for Comment

Sarah Palin vs. Reality

What’s worse than a reality show about the life of Sarah Palin?

How about a reality show about the life of Sarah Palin narrated

by Sarah Palin? “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” is just that, and it turns an Eli Boonin-Vail average hour of television into an excruciating test of mental perseverance.

The show’s name itself is deceitful, as very little of the program actually revolves around the state of Alaska. More appropriate would be “Sarah Palin’s Boring Family,” “Sarah Palin Makes Things Up,” or “Sarah Palin Wastes Your Time.”

In essence, the show is a weekly hour long infomercial for Palin. So far the runaway governor has gone fishin’, huntin’, and many other things exclusive to Alaska. Along the way she throws out her asinine catchphrases that slightly relate to nature. When she’s skeet shooting with Bristol she tells her daughter “don’t retreat, reload” (where you would retreat to in skeet shooting is beyond me). When she paddles past a grizzly bear and cubs she pounces on the opportunity to ponder what the role of a “mama grizzly” is.

Unfortunately, the grizzly bear she spots is bailing its children out of trouble, so the analogy fails to suit Palin’s purposes. I suppose in Sarah Palin’s Alaska, everything suits her purposes.

Palin’s aim for this show is unclear. Half of it feels like a misguided nature tour lead by the national park ranger who just transferred from Newark, the other is an uncomfortable and voyeuristic look into the Palin family. This second half is what makes the show so bizarre and unwatchable. Palin assumes that the viewer is deeply invested in the trivial ongoings of her family. When she’s not pretending she’s a naturalist, she’s poking into her daughters’ rooms and checking up on her wordless husband, who I like to call silent Todd. In one of the most uncomfortable moments I’ve ever had watching television, Palin scolds her 16-year-old daughter for having a boy in her room on national television.

The show is almost as unbearable as the woman herself. After watching Sarah Palin argue with her children and shoot things, I know little more about Alaska than I would if I huffed paint in a shed outside of Anchorage.

Sarah Palin’s Alaska isn’t infotainment, because it’s neither of the two things that make up that ridiculous word.

Yet in spite of all the things that this show has going against it, a plethora of viewers have flocked to invest in it. The show’s premier had a viewership of 5 million, breaking a record for TLC and coming in higher than the finale of Mad Men. I’m fine with this woman ruining the country, but does she have to ruin television as well?

Her corny brand of folksy non-wisdom permeates Sarah Palin’s Alaska like cheap perfume, making it an overall nauseating experience.

TLC, a channel built on a foundation of midgets and cake, should be even more ashamed of itself.

s E n U Zt in

r Zer w

Docto With

Entertainment

An English Teacher takes on modern music

Cee-Lo Green has a potty mouth

I offered to write a song review. I thought it would be fun. The entertainment editor assigned Cee Lo’s “F**k You” and my first thought was, “really? There’s a song with that title? This should be interesting.”

Here’s how the song starts: “I see you driving ‘round town / with the girl I love and I’m like, F**k you! Ooo, ooo, ooo.” As you might expect an English teacher to do, I immediately tried to figure out who the characters were. The lyrics are in the first person--but does the speaker equal the author here?

Is this song coming straight from Cee Lo himself or has he created some other character to deliver these lyrics? Then I wondered who the “you” is--apparently someone driving around with the girl the speaker loves angering the speaker enough that he throws an obscenity at the person driving the car. What has happened? Why is the speaker so angry? But then things get a little muddy a few lines later with “I said, if I was richer, I’d still be with ya”--assuming the second person “ya” now refers to the girl who refused the speaker due to the lack of actual money (and not just change) in the speaker’s pocket. Why the shift here? To whom is the song actually addressed?

Okay, this is perhaps getting a bit too English teacher-y. My initial review of the lyrics revealed that the song essentially calls out a girl as a gold digger and heart breaker. The speaker loves her even

though she refuses him for his lack of funds. It’s not a terribly original story, and with “oh s**t she’s a gold digger,” the lyrics do make a direct allusion to that other song essentially about the same situation.

But Cee Lo is not Kanye. Kanye’s intensity and simmering anger color “Gold Digger.” (Does he ever smile?) Cee Lo does not take himself so seriously. “F**k You” starts with pure happy Motown. It’s the piano and tambourine, the chorus, the electric organ, the infectious energy and rhythm of the song.

The chorus is horribly catchy, but I don’t want “and I’m like F**k you and F**k her too” stuck in my head-so I found a “clean” version-- “Forget you” (now on repeat in my head).

I’m not necessarily opposed to strong language when it’s the only way to communicate the truth of a situation. My favorite author, Toni Morrison, uses strong language to great effect in many of her works. But I’m sorry, Cee Lo, the potty language just isn’t necessary here. With great lines like “I guess he’s an xbox and I’m more atari,” why sully the song with an obscenity that is repeated over and over and over again since it’s central in the chorus? The song is witty and clever and achieves a bit of human truth through its comedy. And this is all still there without that four-letter word.

“The Walking Dead” staggers onto the spotlight If you love blood, gore battle with the perils of the zombified post-apocaand zombie apocalypse, lyptic world, encountering, friends, enemies, and of then you have to check out the new hit television course, many zombies. show, “The Walking Dead.” It first aired on Octo“The Walking Dead” has been very controversial ber 31st, 2010 with an hour and a half premiere. The for its high concentration of gore. In fact, many say Walking Dead has received great reviews from sourc- its splattering violence is enough of a reason for the es like Time Magazine and the New York Times, and FCC to cancel it. In one of its most recent episodes, it recently landed the front page of Entertainment a woman takes a pick axe to her abusive husband’s Weekly with the headline “The Best New Show On head after he has been attacked by a zombie.

Television”. On Nov. 12th, ratings showed that one Compared to many zombie movies, “The Walking out of every 30 Americans Dead” is vastly different. Bewere watching the show live. cause it is a series, the shows Many more of the people almost always end on cliffwho missed it logged onto hangers, as opposed to the Hulu to watch it. The show movies which almost always airs on AMC (Channel 64) at end in tragic disaster. In ad8:00 p.m. MST on Sunday’s. dition, the show is far more The hit television show is gory than your average “The based off of a comic book Night of the Living Dead” or series of the same name.

“Dawn of the Dead.”

The graphic novels started This unique take on the in 2003, portraying a postgenre is mostly due to the apocalyptic story about the show’s astounding produconly survivors who hadn’t tion. Developed by “Shawbeen infected with the virus. shank Redemption” director The virus is a plague that has Frank Darabont, the show infected people to become has enough inventive techThe cast of AMC’s breakout show “The Walkcannibalistic and eat the livnique and storytelling to ing Dead” (WIKIMEDIA COMMONS). ing. Viewers meet the main keep viewers continuously Character Rick Grimes, a small town police officer intrigued. The show also benefits from being both who bands together with his family and a small group written and produced by the same person. Robert of people outside of Atlanta to stay alive and search Kirkman, the writer for the comics and the show, for other survivors. has been involved in production both in writing and Rick, who got shot during a police operation six shooting from the start. months prior to the outbreak, wakes up in alone in The show recently landed a contract to continue an abandoned hospital. During his hospitalization, a on the AMC network for a second season, thanks to virus that turned the living into flesh-eating zombies the ratings and viewers it has received. As more and destroyed civilization. After waking up, Rick must more episodes air, more and more viewers watch.

By BRETT MATISSEN

Royal Banner Friday, December 10, 2010

Entertainment

9

news nd even worse a s ow sh e bl erri uckscary place. T nightmare. L g ry n a yi sc if a rr is te n a io .

Televis ience into nnels smartly onderful exper avigating cha n by s re a can turn a w tm h void said nig ily, you can a u do just that. yo p el h to e er h is h This grap

n B o i a s i d v e T l e e l e T v d i o s o ion G

By ELI BOONIN-VAIL

National Broadcasting Company is the only major television network that still deserves to be around.

While its news passes for information, it’s the channel’s comedies that make it worth watching. Young shows like “Community” and “Parenthood” mean that the channel still has a future, while old-timers like “The Office” are still worth tuning into. Perhaps the best thing about NBC is that it’s self-deprecating enough to put out “30 Rock”, a show that constantly mocks NBC. Points deducted for the “The Tonight Show” still being hosted by Jay Leno.

How could a channel that housed “Monk” for eight seasons possibly go wrong? USA delivers the most consistently good original television of any cable channel. From thrilling shows like “Burn Notice” and “White Collar” to the all-out laugh riot “Psych,” this channel is almost entirely reliable when nothing else is on. The downsides: they inexplicably run WWE occasionally, which is unfortunate.

Also, you’re probably going to want to be an “NCIS” fan, just trust us.

“The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” alone makes this channel worth applauding, but it has so much more to offer.

“South Park”, “Ugly Americans”, and “Futurama” add to Comedy Central’s impressive repertoire, and the channel’s choice of standup comedians can be surprisingly diverse. However, since it’s inception in 1989, the channel has yet to air a good movie. Be warned.

There are so many awesome shows on FX it’s hard to know where to start. On the comedy end of the spectrum, you have Comedian Louis CK’s brilliant show “Louie”, the completely hilarious “Archer”, and the always lewd “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia”. On the darker side are the massively successful “Sons Of Anarchy” and the best law enforcement show on television, “Justified”. In between the two is the astonishing (yet soon to be canceled) neo-noir comedy-drama “Terriers”, possibly the best new show on television. There is no downside to watching this channel.

“Breaking Bad” is the single greatest television drama of this generation and possibly all others.

Unless you think it’s “Mad Men”, which is also on AMC.

Logos provided by WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

By MATT SPARKMAN

This is a channel that thrives off of train-wrecks such as The Gosselin family, Sarah Palin, or crazed cake-makers. While watching shows such as “Obese and Pregnant” is, admittedly, entertaining, it’s exploiting people’s problems, and making money off of them.

ABC Family targets one specific demographic with their programming - hormonally challenged women. Teenage girls can feast on the drama provided by the television-destroying “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” and menopausal women can enjoy the antics of Melissa Burke and the male nanny she has hired for her children (really?), in the gag-worthy drama “Melissa and Joey”. The hormones cover what ABC’s relentless promotional campaigns can’t - the shows just aren’t that good.

While non stop re-runs of “The Office” and “Seinfeld” are admittedly awesome, this channel does provide a home for the unbearable “Lopez Tonight”, which is an absolute television sin. Their original programming is where all comedy goes to die. Impressionist Frank Caliendo suffered a lonely death there, and so will Conan O’Brian in the next two years.

There is nothing wrong with being biased, but when you claim that you are unbiased and all your programs and correspondents are right wing nut jobs, than you’re just lying to yourself and the American people. Also, why is Glenn Beck yelling about $11 corn husks and wearing wonder bread bags on his feet?

If Fox News is bad, than so is MSNBC, and for all the same reasons. These left-leaning liberals, led by former Sports Center anchor Keith Olberman, are perfectly adept at identifying problems in America, but they find very few solutions to these problems.

The Colombia Broadcasting System touts itself as being “America’s most watched network”, but this is only true because it has rights to 4-6 elite NFL games that bring in viewers in hoards.

This channel offers absolutely nothing in terms of its original programming.

Their crime scene investigation shows have grown stale and after that there is nothing worth mentioning. They are ruining that hilarious tweets of “s*** my dad says”, by making it into a series, showing that they have absolutely run out of ideas. It is safe to say that CBS offers the worst programming out of the three major networks.

Royal Banner Friday, December 10, 2010

10

Sports

Winter Sports Preview O’Neill, Saltarelli look to lead Knights deep into state tournament Nick Vincent, Stephen Fung-A-Fat, Thomas Grant, and Christopher Cartwright all have little to no varsity experience. Nonetheless, each strive to represent the storied program.

In 2008, the Fairview boys basketball team went to the state semiThe team also features a hearty crop of Juniors -- including O’Neill, finals and lost a heartbreaker to George Washington. In 2009, the team Alec Pronk, Gibson Farone-Collins and Jacob Lorentzen-- that will went to the state finals and lost to a hated Regis squad. What surprises definitely bring a unique skill set to the table. “We coach every year does Frank Lee have up his sleeve for this Fairview team? the same way.

We never assume that knowledge is known,” commented The absence of returning starters never hinders the spirits of Fairassistant coach Michael Morse. view’s finest team. Last year, the Knights had only two returning players, The Denver Post ranked the rival Boulder Panthers ninth in the and this year is no different. Fairview brings back only two players with state, and the Fairview boys failed to make the cut. Hardly anyone experience, so Frank Lee has plenty of coaching in front of him. “We tell is certain of what lies ahead of this team, but the boys are confident our players, ‘fair, friendly, and firm.’ That’s our philosophy,” said Lee. heading into the season.

Craig Saltarelli and Shane O’Neill aim to lead this explosive of“You’ll never know until you try,” said Lee. fensive attack, out-running opponents and dominating through As of Monday night, the Knights are 2-0 on the season with wins hustle.

O’Neill (KEVIN WAIDA). at Thunderridge and at home, against Bear Creek.

Seniors Keegan Lamar, Bryce Dolan, Brandon Boyle, Josh Hill,

By RYAN PATTERSON

Girls open basketball season

Lefebvre looks for results from new contributors

By EMILY SANDOVAL & JUSTIN SONG

Last season, the girls’ basketball team had its best season in recent years and finished in the sweet sixteen with an overall record of 20-6.

This year, the team features five returning varsity members including seniors Caitlin Higgins, Carlee Lough, Kristen Narum, Nina Ball, and Issi Funke.

“We have some really good leadership,” said the head coach, Rod Beauchamp.

Sophomore Georgina Ryder, a center who is over six feet tall will bring needed size to the team.

“She’s the tallest we’ve had in years,” said Beauchamp. “I expect her to contribute.”

Unfortunately, she will begin the

Awrestling Development

season with a broken wrist, but is expected to be ready for league play.

This weekend, the squad will compete to defend their title of the annual Fairview Festival. Last year, they handed Broomfield their first loss in 75 straight games. The festival field is tough again, with Broomfield, Arvada West and defending state champ Denver East in the bracket.

“We have a lot of potential this year,” said senior Rori Flanagan. “And if we live up to this potential we’ll go far.”

As of Monday, the Knights are 0-1, with a loss at Longmont. Junior forward Hannah Hyde paced the team in scoring with 14 points.

By JUSTIN SONG & ALEC PRONK

With nine varsity spots to fill the Knight’s varsity wrestling squad, Coach Jim Lefebvre is excited to see aspiring varsity wrestlers step up and contribute to the program.

Despite the holes to fill, Lefebvre returns three state qualifiers, seniors Josh Gregory, Michael Chavez, and Chris Chavez. Gregory, who is home schooled, has fully recovered from a torn muscle in his shoulder and is ranked in the top five in his weight class. Michael and Chris will look to make their second and third trip, respectively, to the Pepsi Center.

Other returning starters include seniors Tyler Ollanik and John Sims and sophomore Maddy Lignell. Ollanik was out most of the last season because of an ankle injury, but Ollanik is back in the lineup healthy.

The squad also consists of the best freshmen Coach Lefebvre has ever seen, and one has already claimed a varsity spot. Eddie Chavez will anchor the 125 pound spot.

The team hopes to continue their recent success against Boulder and capture a fourth straight city championship. Also, the Knights look to win all thirteen of their dual matches and double the amount of state qualifiers they had last year.

Against the tide: Girls Swimming ready to stroke again

By KEVIN WAIDA

Fairview may not have a pool, but it does have an impressive girls swim team.

Just down the road at South Boulder Recreation Center are daily practices that test the limits of Fairview’s water lovers. Leading the charge this year are potential AllAmericans Caroline Patterson, senior, and Kourtney Fosse, junior, with Abbie Houck and Lacey Smith, both sophomores, not far behind. Patterson is simply dominant, excelling in the 100 yd. backstroke. Smith and Houck both swim freestyle, with Lacey competing in the 100 yd. competitions and Houck going hard for a solid 200 yds.

Fosse swims in one of the most competitive events: the 100 yd. breast. As always,

the girls swim team expects a top three finish at state to round out the accolades.

Earlier this year, the swim team ventured on their annual trip to Florida to train and have some team bonding. The trip prepared them for their upcoming swim meets this season. As they look forward, the Florida trip looks to be a huge and helpful component as they progress forward in their aspirations to succeed at state.

Practices can certainly be rigorous, often involving warm-ups, technique practice, intense time trials, and tons of core exercises. The girls work extremely hard all season, and the fastest swimmers will move on to the state team.

A Fairview swimmer flies across the pool (KEVIN WAIDA).

Royal Banner Friday, December 10, 2010

Sports

Stump Sparky

By MATT SPARKMAN

2) Who was the first Big 12 team to lose to Harvard?

3) Which current SEC head football coach was an assistant coach at Colorado under Bill McCartney?

4) Colorado point guard Chucky Jeffery registered a triple double against Loyola Chicago on November 27. Who was the last Lady Buff to record a triple double?

5) Which of CU’s three revenue sports (football, men’s basketball & women’s basketball) was the last to record a winning season?

ANSWERS AT BOTTOM OF PAGE

Jeffery (WIKIMEDIA COMMONS).

Craig Saltarelli steps into the spotlight

By MEGAN DEBRUYN & PAIGE REISMAN

1) Under Interim Head Coach Brian Cabral, Colorado Buffaloes football won two straight Big 12 games (Iowa State & Kansas State). When was the last time this occurred?

Cabral (WIKIMEDIA COMMONS).

CU hires Embree

By MATT SPARKMAN

On Monday, December 6th, the University of Colorado introduced its 24th full-time head coach, Jon Embree.

“We’re going to put swagger back in this program,” said Embree, 45, a former tight end under Bill McCartney.

Embree spent the last five years as the tight ends coach for the Washington Redskins of the NFL. Prior to his time in the nation’s capital, Embree was the assistant head coach and tight ends coach at UCLA. Embree honed his coaching skills at Colorado, where he spent a decade under three coaches as a position coach.

Along with a wealth of Pac Ten and Big 12 experience, Embree brings Minnesota Vikings running backs coach and former running backs coach at UCLA and Colorado, Eric Bieniemy.

Bieniemy looks to lead a staff that is generally regarded as a recruiting juggernaut.

11

Among the 2,000 students meandering the halls of Fairview, how many would know of a senior by the name of Craig? What about the underclassmen? Would anyone be able to pick Craig out of a crowd? Then take the same group of students, and ask them about Salty the ballaaaaa. Chances are that you will notice the spark in their eye when they realize that Salty actually has a real name.

That’s right folks, it’s time to get to know the man behind the nickname. Good ol’ Craig Saltarelli.

Craig “Salty” Saltarelli’s life is just about entirely centered around basketball. He admitted that on days that there was no practice, you’d probably find him at the rec with his friends, and teammates, playing some pick-up basketball anyways.

Saltarelli started playing basketball in kindergarten for a YMCA league. He stepped up his game in the Gold Crown league. In fact, if it wasn’t for this, Fairview probably wouldn’t be able to boast about their salty basketball star.

“I did Fairview Gold Crown in 6th grade; if I hadn’t been on that team I probably would’ve gone to Boulder High because I live right by there.”

Although many of the upperclassmen with any knowledge of Fairview basketball would probably refer to him as this year’s Darragh O’Neill, you might just see him streaking at the next football game, running across Recht field

Saltarelli (MEGAN DEBRUYN).

at halftime, with security guards on his tail, wearing nothing, or perhaps nothing but a sock. Only joking. But when asked about potentially streaking, he had this to say: “I think it would be cool to do, I just wouldn’t want to deal with the [consequences].”

The prospects for this year’s varsity men’s basketball team are looking up, even after losing many star seniors last year. Saltarelli said that the boys mesh well on the court.

“Most of these guys have played

together forever, we’re all friends outside of basketball.”

Would he and his teammates ever be more than just friends?

No they wouldn’t. But when asked about possible “bromances”, Saltarelli responded first with uncertainty about the seriousness of the question, and then laughter when he finally reached a decision.

“What? I need to think about that. Bryce and Cartwright have been my friends forever, but Brandon Boyle is definitely the best-looking dude on them team.”

Saltarelli recognizes the importance of getting fired up before games, and he uses his soundtrack to do so.

“Last year’s play list included Good Life and Touch the Sky by Kanye. Oh! And the entire Space Jam soundtrack. Always.”

After getting himself pumped up, he knows that as one of the star seniors on the team, it’s his responsibility to get his teammates energized as well. And as for the fans, just remember: “Everybody get up it’s time to slam now. We got a real jam goin’ down, welcome to the Space Jam. Here’s your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam.”

Five, six, seven, eight: Poms take second at state

By CHELSEA CLAMPERT

Countless hours spent perfecting their two and a half minute dance routine paid off for the Fairview varsity poms team last Friday when they took home second place at the Colorado State Spirit Championships which were held at the Denver coliseum.

Preparation for the state championships began months in advanced. Practices led by senior captains Leigh Citarella and Maggie Andrews were more intense then years before: “This year we had more discipline. We knew that when we stepped into practice we just had to work hard for those Maggie Andrews & Leigh Citarella DONATED). three hours in order to accomplish our goals.” Citarella said.

The twelve member team finally got the chance to show what they were made of at two regional compe-

titions. They took home fourth place at both, beating out stiff competition such as Cherry Creek.

Regionals was just the beginning for the poms team. After making the state championship finals, the team had one more opportunity to perform their dance. They

“It feels good to have all our hard work be recognized.”

(PHOTO:

nailed it beautifully, earning them a second place trophy and bragging rights. Fairview poms were less then two points shy of tying Grandview High School for first place.

The team will travel to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida this January for the national competition.

1) 2007 (Oklahoma & Baylor) 2) Colorado 3) Les Miles (LSU) 4) Sandy Bean (1979) 5) Women’s Basketball

Royal Banner

12

Sports

Friday, December 10, 2010

Winter sports pop culture grid The Athletes

Sarah Palin’s Alaska is...

Least Favorite opponent?

What’s in your wallet?

What was your last Google search?

What was the last Favorite song you played TV show? on your iPod?

Chris Chavez (Wrestling)

... I don’t like it.

None

Money

Youtube

Rock Star by Lil Wayne

UFC

Bryce Dolan (Boy’s Basketball)

... my favorite show.

Boulder

A check for $8.30 Sarah Palin

Somewhere Over the Rainbow by IZ

Sarah Palin’s Alaska

Carlee Lough ( Girl’s Basketball)

...the worst show ever.

Boulder

Money, license, University of Regis basketball schedule

Erase Me by Kid Cudi

Law and Order: SVU

Alfred Adler

Lough (KEVIN WAIDA) Chavez and Dolan (STAN WHITCOMB)

Shred the slopes, ski season is upon us

By BRETT MATISSEN

Skiers and snowboarders, this week, I'll keep it brief. As you know, over open December 11th with a lot of terrain open, seeing as the week of November 14th-November 19th, most of Colorado's ski areas they have waited well over a month then the other ski areas have received more then two feet of snow! Let me put this into perspective in Colorado. Till next week, keep on shredding! for you, on November 20th of Last Year, Keystone only had 14 runs open on 2/3 peaks. This year, the ski areas have been very fortunate. Since the opening of Breckenridge, November 12th, to November 19th, they have received over 55 inches of snow! In addition, on, December 3rd, Vail opened the Blue Sky Basin area along with additional openings at Beaver Creek. Aspen-Snowmass opened over Thanksgiving Break with well over 1000 acres a piece and Aspen Highlands and Buttermilk will

Printer Supplies/HP Printer Service We carry original as well as environmentally friendly compatible products All Brands – Free shipping over $100 – Computer Accessories Fairview families save 10% online at www.B2BDirect.BIZ Username = FHS • Password = knights • Browse for Items Or Call 303-684-8725 x115 for Personal Service