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Friday, April 26, 2013 Vol. 53 No. VII

Prom Royalty Nominees: Katie Brennan and John Kubancik Photo by Emily Ellis

Fairview High School 1515 Greenbriar Blvd.


Royal Banner

entertainment 3

night of the living dead

calling all dawns retrospective prom playlist 5

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student life 6 intro to prom

who is your peter pan? 7 prom-a drama 8

news

the police come to fairview 10

what to do instead of prom 9

new head boy and head girl 11

sports pop culture grid12

in-depth

the gender spectrum 14,

high school spring sports13

15, 16

opinions defense of marriage act 17 boston bombing 18

humor

physical education changes19

madlibs: senioritis edition 20 prom: a modest proposal 21

Graduation Count Down:

23 Days

extras 22, 23

advertisments

knight memes 24

Bits and Pieces

Up & Coming Today

Friday the 26th: Varsity Lacrosse vs. Fort Collins @ 6:30 PM Orchestra Festival Hug an Australian Day

This Weekend

Saturday the 27th:

Prom! (Neverland)

After Prom March of Dimes Track Meets at Regis Jesuit and Liberty Bell Baseball vs. Loveland @ 11AM Boulder Humane Society: Animals in Wonderland, Puttin’ on the Leash @ Coors Event Center 6PM Boulder Farmers Market! Open Saturdays 8-2 PM and Wednesday 4-8PM Sunday the 28th: Kiss Your Mate Day

Next Week

Monday the 29th: Girls Tennis Regionals Lacrosse Vs. Smoky Hill @ 4:30 PM Girl’s Soccer vs. Fossil Ridge @ 4:30 PM Tuesday the 30th: Baseball at Mountain Range @ 4PM Girl’s Soccer vs. Mountain Range @ 4:30PM Wednesday the 1st: May Day Thursday the 2nd: Opening Night: Spring Play Night of the Living Dead through Saturday Friday the 3rd: Track Meet International Tuba Day


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www.fhsroyalbanner.com Check out the online edition of the Royal Banner for real time coverage of school events, additional coverage of print stories, photos, videos, and audio.

The Royal Banner 12-13 Staff

Editorial Board Print Editors-In-Chief Megan DeBruyn Paige Reisman Web Editors-In-Chief Janet Chen Eliana Goldstein

Section Editors News Sharone Goldman Opinions Kali Crossen Student Life Savarone Ammann Entertainment Alex Flynn

Entertainment

Night of The Living Dead In Fairview’s new Spring Play, we get to see a remade play version of the movie Dawn of the Dead. The play’s director, teacher Lanny Boyer, said about the production. “I give all my students positions of power. My assistant director, my tech director, my marketing director, my costuming designer, my makeup designer, and my stage manager are all students,” said Boyer. With a bunch of students running around and playing undead, you definitely have some crazy stories going around. “It’s dance-tastic.” Nayt Perrin, senior, said. And sophomore Chloe LaMar said about the process, “Very ex-

By Owyn Cooper citing.” Boyer also said, “During one of the film shoots, we wrecked a car in a graveyard and took out several headstones. In fact, no undead came for retribution.” You can see the play on its dates May 2-4. Definitely check it out, it looks awesome.

Photo Credit:Owyn Cooper

Sports Cason McHose In-Depth Shoshana Pollack

Q&A with Ted Chalfen

Copy Paige Lindgren

Staff Reporters

Lindsay Barnes, Natalie Bowes, Kimberly Brown, Owyn Cooper, Melissa Cuddington, Emily Ellis, JJ Evanoff, Conor Hall, Raine Kennedy, Elise Maclean, Keenan Marrinan, Eamonn Morris, Rachel Perley, Alex Ray, Lucia Rose, David Sachs, Luke Schneider, Ryan Shuman, Maddie Stachniak, Rebecca Vickers

Business

Business and Advertising Manager Brett Matissen

Online Marketing Manager Brian Lee Adviser Sarah M. Zerwin For Subscriptions: Send $25

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About the Banner

The Royal Banner Newspaper is a 12 to 24 page newspaper.

The Banner is written primarily for the over 2000 students attending Fairview High School and is distributed free of charge to all members of the school community. Accurate reporting of fact is the goal of the staff. Commentaries, opinion columns and letters to the editor are the expressed opinion of the author and not of

The Royal Banner and its Editorial Board or its adviser. *Disclaimer: Under Colorado law, no expression made by students in the exercise of free speech or freedom of the press shall be deemed to be an expression of school policy. No school district, employee, legal guardian or official of such a district shall be held liable in any criminal action for any expression made or published by a student. The Royal Banner sells advertisements for publicity and to pay for printing costs. We reserve the right to refuse to run any advertisement deemed inappropriate to the Fairview community.

Q: What’s your role in the play? A: I’m the lead. I play Ben, who is the main character in the play. He’s a guy who’s constantly trying to do the right thing. But all his ideas end up working out poorly. Q: How long have you been acting? A: Not long. I did the play last year. I’ve acted in movies and projects for a long time. But this is my second stage role. And I don’t have any formal training so I’m kind of surprised I got it. Q: What’s your favorite part of this experience? A: Being in a leading role for the first time is terrifying and really exciting. Especially if you have a lot of lines and if you suck it’s tough for the show to be convincing. But on the other side you know you’re really important to the production and you feel like you’re valued.

Q&A with Anya Kolesnikoff Q: What do you do in the play? A: I’m assistant director for the play and film director for the film version. Q: How long have you been doing this? A: Forever. I started as an actor then I was a techie and I’m in IB Film. Q: What part is the most challenging? A: We have a huge cast and it’s challenging trying to get all of our cast

to focus. Q: What’s it like behind the scenes? A: I think the whole process backstage is a lot more fascinating than what the audience sees. In my opinion.


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Calling All Dawns Retrospective By Eamonn Morris Imagine, for a moment, that you could sit in a room with four hundred and twenty other people, some of whom you know and some of whom you do not. Now imagine that, after about forty-five minutes, these people have all become your best friends. You have shared an experience with them that has brought you together in a way you wouldn’t have thought possible before. That is what the combined ensembles of Fairview’s Chamber Orchestra, Festival Choir, Voices of the Knight Choir, Enchantment Choir, and Musica Sacra Chamber Orchestra and Kim Robards Dance Company felt on the night of March 22nd, when these groups sat down for the third and final time to perform “Calling All Dawns,” a song cycle in 12 parts written by the composer Christopher Tin, who lives and works in Los Angeles. When mounting a production of the magnitude of “Calling All Dawns,” faith is an operative element. It’s a daunting task to put all these groups together in one room, especially if it’s the Buell Theater in the Denver Performing Arts Center. And it’s a herculean task to put on a two-hour program with exactly two hours of rehearsal. But those of us who performed already knew the power that this music has. “Calling All Dawns” is one of those

Entertainment rare pieces of art that can speak to everyone-- the great middlebrow dream of accessibility paired with beauty and power. The texts that are sung by soloists and the choir are drawn from 12 different languages, and as a result the orchestral writing draws on the musical idioms of far-flung peoples, drawing disparate cultures into a work unified in its comment on the human condition. “Calling All Dawns” focuses on the universal cycle of life, death, and rebirth; it’s a moving testament to something we have all experienced at one time or another. To say that “Calling All Dawns” was a fantastic way to cap my career in high school music would be a massive understatement. Most teenagers cannot dream of an opportunity like the one we were offered. As such, the prevailing mood onstage was gratitude. From beginning to end, my good friends and I (it’s pointless to say that we were all just performers doing our job up there; this was something special) sang and played with a zeal that has been unmatched in any other performance I’ve been involved in. This was the last time many of us would be performing together, and so it was especially fitting since those of us graduating were experiencing the same cycle of ending one thing and beginning another. I was also amazed by the respect we were afforded by our professional colleagues. In the end, the experience was powerful because everyone onstage was treated well and valued for who they were. At the same time, we all gave everything we had to this incredible music. “Calling All Dawns” suffers from description. It must be heard. A videorecording of Fairview’s performance is available from Joyco Multimedia; Christopher Tin’s studio recording of the work is available on iTunes.

“Calling All Dawns is one of those rare pieces of art that can speak to everyone”

Members of the Fairview Choir sing. Photo by David Young, guest photographer.


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Entertainment

Prom Playlist “Magic ft. Rivers Cuomo” -B.o.B

By David Sachs and Alex Ray

There’s no hip hop song out there that has the same mix of both upbeat, fun energy, and relatively impressive lyricism. Even though it was released in late 2010, its catchy hook and danceable beat has kept it from dying out, as many songs tend to do. B.o.B can be pretty hit-and-miss, but this song perfectly embodies all that prom should be. Magic.

“One More Night” -Maroon 5

Pop music consistently captures mass attention and popularity due to its catchy hooks and beats. One More Night by Maroon 5 exemplifies all of pop music’s best qualities as it eloquently combines techno with melodic lyrics and a reggae beat. In the song, Adam Levine sings about his part in a relationship hell over a constantly catchy lyrical track that brings a depth to the music that is missing in a lot of modern popular music. Maroon 5 has been topping the charts in 2012 and well into the new year, and this song in particular deserves a spot on any party playlist.

“Country Girl (Shake It For Me)” -Luke Bryan

While country music has never really been my cup of tea when it comes to dance and party songs, Country Girl might have very well have converted me. Luke Bryan is able to create a dance song with strong country roots. Bryan is still fairly new to the mainstream country music game, and was recently named country entertainer of the year. It is my sincere hope that all of you have a country girl shake it for you one day.

“It’s Time” -Imagine Dragons

With the release of Night Visions in late 2012, Imagine Dragons began an astonishing journey that found them end up as one of the most popular bands in recent memory. “It’s Time” is among the most popular of the new songs by Imagine Dragons. In a prom music playlist, it fills an interesting void in the genres and moods that is normally untouched. Its soul lies in slow, emotional music that is normally only listened to with the right mood, yet its beat is incongruously uplifting.

“Levels” -Avicii

EDM (electronic dance music) has always been a favorite for parties and dances because of its easily danceable and uplifting beats. Avicii’s “Levels” is able to have an uplifted and happy mood to it while also having the crazy-party feel that comes along with most EDM. Avicii broke ground when they sampled a 1960’s gospel song, and it paid off by helping it become one of the most recognizable EDM songs to date. The soulful sample will be right at home in the hormone-infused prom air.

“Open Arms” -Journey

Prom, unlike Homecoming and Winter Ball, is always in need of slower songs, as it is a predominantly couples dance where the juniors and seniors are having an experience that they will never forget. With any luck, these memories will be filled with moments with their significan other. Journey’s “Open Arms” is a timeless classic that creates a poignant moment with the listener through powerful vocals and smooth, flowing instrumentals. You and your partner will embrace this song with open arms.

Visit this QR code for the prom playlist!


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Student Life

Finding Neverland: Prom 2013 By Melissa Cuddington

This year, Fairview Student Council is switching up the setting of prom as it will be at The Event Center at Church Ranch. This location definitely pairs with the theme of “Finding Neverland.” The Event Center at Church Ranch is a small, intimate venue that has an outside garden-type area, along with an inside building with a dance floor and a large sun room. There will be tents in the outside section of the venue,

along with many light decorations on the outside grounds. The dance will be held from the usual time period of 8 pm-12 pm. Most of the decorations at prom will be surrounding the theme of “Finding Neverland,” therefore focusing on light shades of green and blue. This should be a memorable last Prom for the seniors of the Class of 2013!

“ Ellie Lupo will you go to prom with me?” - Nissa Gundersen

“It has been a huge amount of work, but I am very excited for our event. It is going to be very different from last year, but also especially unique. I am excited for certain things that we have planned, for example, having desserts at the dance. It has been stressful, but I really hope that it all pays off and we get a prom that’s fun, different, and one which the students will love.” - Laura Jamison


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Student Life

Who is your Peter Pan?

Photos and Story By Natalie Bowes and Rebecca Vickers

Joey Heilman and Bryce Garby: “We went on a hike up to the ant hill. When we got to the top there were rocks that spelled out prom and I assumed that he was asking me so I said ‘yes’, but after hiking for a little while, he confessed that he didn’t atually write that but was planning on asking me at the top anyway.”

Elle Swenson and Trevor McQueeny: “There was a huge crowd outside of my 7th period class and Trevor was there in a T-shirt that said prom and a picture of my face smiling that said yes and a picture of me looking grumpy that said no, he gave me a bouquet of flowers and there was lots of clapping.”

Jamie Walsh and Jack McClellen: “He made me a buildabear that was wearing a little tuxedo and when you pressed its hand Jack’s voice would say ‘will you go to prom with me?’ There was also chocolate.”

Ian McPhearson and Helen Blaine: “I heard my doorbell ring but no one was there and there was a letter than read ‘follow the flour path or else.’ After I followed the path it lead me to the park and Ian was standing in the tallest tree and he had balloons and a sign and when he saw me he yelled ‘will you go to prom with me?’”

Pyrenee Steiner and Gabe Tiereny: “My friend told me that she had forgotten her cleats on the soccer field and when I went down there to get them Gabe was there and had written ‘PROM?’ in huge letters across the field.”


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Student Life

What to do if you aren’t Going to Prom By Owyn Cooper

Not going to Prom? Me neither! Whether you are an 3. Go outside (with or without your friends). If you want to underclassman or just don’t want to go, use these ideas get out of the house and do things, find places to play paintball, laser tag, or mini golf with your friends. And, the best part is, for something fun to do instead! 1. Hang with your friends. Just because you may not have a hot, upperclassman date to prom, you can still have fun! Get together with your friends and watch movies, play games, and eat food.

Photos By Emily Ellis

Prom Couples of the Castle

2. Go to an After-Prom party. Why deal with a bunch of strangers at prom when you can hang out with your friends in a very crowded setting? You can hang out with friends at someones house and celebrate not going to prom with yummy food and some dance music. Or you could go to the official After Prom party that will be at the Rec Center. There will be a variety of games where you can win awesome prizes. (This is also something you could do after you go to Prom.)

when you post the pictures on Facebook in your comfy clothes the people in the awkward tuxes and uncomfortable dresses will be TOTES JEALOUS. 4. Go on an actual date. If you have a significant other, you don’t have to go to Prom. You can just go out to eat, or go to the movies. Or even hit up one of the street malls, since they won’t be as crowded, and just have a blast walking around. 5. Get a party bus: Renting a party bus is a great excuse to dress up and have a semi formal evening without the stress and obligations of prom. You can dance the night away under the colored lights and the occasional jolt of the bus will assure that there’s never a dull moment. The best part is the bus can take you anywhere so you’ll have complete freedom.

Above: Kendall Richardz and Bridger Dunn

Above: Alei Russo and Chelo

Above: Elise Delaware and James Dufficy

Right:Taylor Hopkins and Sarah Mandel


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Prom-a Drama

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Student Life

By Melissa Cuddington

What could possibly go wrong on “The Best Night of Your Life” 1. Your party bus or limo could not show up. If this happens, then you should reschedule your bus or just take cars in the worst case scenario! 2. Your date bails on you. This usually doesn’t happen, but if it does then just go stag and find a single guy or girl at the dance!

4. You spill water all over your dress at the water station. There are plenty of bathrooms at the venue, so go hit up the hair dryer! 5. Someone has the same dress as you. Oh no, this is a girl’s worst nightmare... As long as you are not in the same pictures, you are definitely in the clear!

3. You forget to buy tickets for Prom. Don’t worry, you can always buy them at the door, but they will be more expensive than the tickets sold the week before at school.

Prom Maze

Maze by Brandon Warren

Entertain yourself as you count down to Prom Night!


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By Sharone Goldman and Raine Kennedy

Photo Credit: Boulder PD

The Police Are Coming to Fairview

News

Are the police busting Fairview? Not exactly. The student council room is going to become a police annex. The annex should be complete by mid May. The annex will allow police officers to come into the school to write reports. Since there isn’t an annex in South Boulder, it will mean a greater police presence in this part of Boulder, as well as in Fairview. Principal Don Stensrud said, “After Sandy Hook, we started looking at new What is security measures... In Sandy Hook, He a Police Annex? [Adam Lanza] came from the outside. Myth Fact But would he have killed as many It is the same as a police An annex is actually just a space children if there was a police station. that the police take over in order to officer there?” Stensrud also commented do reports and take breaks. It doesn’t that a constant police pres function like a police station. ence at the school would discourage petty crimes The annex is going in because The annex is here to keep kids safer and such as vandalism. Fairview has too many crime help out the police department. It has Some members of student problems. nothing to do with Fairview behavior. council expressed frustration about being given such You can get booked at a Police Officers can only use annexes little notice about the annex, Annex. to write reports or make phone and only a small amount of time calls. To book you, they have in which to move out their things. to take you down to However, those talked to agreed that the the station. benefits provided to the school outweighed the inconvenience.

Corporal Punishment By Conor Hall

What does Colorado have in common with states like Alabama, Texas, and Arizona? It is one of twenty-six states that allows corporal punishment as a disciplinary option in public schools. However, a bipartisan team of Colorado State Legislators hopes to do away with this policy entirely. In Colorado any parent, guardian, or other person entrusted with the care of a minor or mentally handicapped person’s well being, is authorized by Colorado statute 18-1-703, 18-6-401, and 19-1-103 to use physical discipline or physically restrain the person, to an extent that is reasonably necessary, without fear of being charged

with abuse. The statute does not however specify what reasonable force is, in any more detail than that it can’t cause [bodily harm]. Persons entrusted include teaching and administrative faculty at public Preschool through High Schools. This does not apply to BVSD, as district policy specifies that faculty and adminPhoto Credit: Wikimedia Commons istration may only use physical intervenported, involving less than 1% of all tion or restraint. students, comparatively Mississippi had the highest rate, with over thirty-eight Though Colorado officially legalized thousand cases, involving 7.5% of stucorporal punishment in the early dents, also reported in 2008. 2000s, a 2008 study Colorado has the lowest rate of corporal punishment out of all other states that allow it. In that year only eight cases had been re-


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News

What’s In Store For Next Year? By Elise Maclean and Lucia Rose

Head Boy: Zach Swenson

Photo Credit: Emily Ellis

What is your favorite thing about Fairview? Fairview is filled with so many diversely talented people. The environment challenges everyone to excel in their respective academic, athletic, theatrical, musical, and personal areas. The environment is what makes Fairview such a great place to study and participate in activities. What activities and clubs are you involved in? I play three sports (two varsity) and I announce the basketball games. I am a knight crew member and I have a part time job. How will you stay connected with the student body? My plan is to travel around the school once a week to listen to the students. As I did during my campaign, I will roam all parts of the school to receive feedback and suggestions. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing as Head Boy, if the students aren’t happy, then I’m failing. I will make sure that won’t happen.

Photo Credit: Emily Ellis

What are you most looking foward to next year? I am looking foward to the opportunity to work with so many people in the school, ranging from student council members, to teachers, administrators, and all students. I’m also ecstatic to help create an environment filled with school spirit at every type of extracurricular activity.

Head Girl: Jaimie Zhu What are you planning on changing next year? Everything is going to be extremely different next year with our new student council sponsor and new room to meet! Major things on my list to change next year would probably be the Fairview student culture with respect to the turnout and popularity of our school dances as well as things such as organization and publicity for council in general. I’m just looking out for what other Fairview students want to change because after all, it is their school! What will you keep from this year? I’d really like to keep the culture surrounding Homecoming Week and the dance itself of course, because in my experience from this year’s Homecoming, the students were really excited for the entire week leading up to the dance, and that’s what council is really about; getting students excited about being a knight. What are you most looking foward to next year? In Student Senate, I’m just really excited to work with everyone and see change happen (yes, I know that sounds cliché) so we can continue to make Fairview better and better. I’m actually looking foward to the new incoming freshman class just because I like new ideas and opinions, and I’m defintely curious about where next year will take us as a student body!


12 Spring Sports Popculture Grid

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Sports

By Ryan Shuman

Favorite Comedy? Favorite Musical Artist?

Favorite Class?

Facebook or Twitter?

Favorite Actor/ Actress?

Favorite Freshman?

“Buckwild” (R.I.P. Shane Gandee)

JJ Evanoff and Outkast

Bowling

Neither Will Kinnard

Ryan Gosling

Luke Miller

Ben Morrissey: Swimming

“Dodgeball”

2pac

Catering

Twitter

Bruce Willis

Garrett Sooter

Chris Robinson: Lacrosse

“Tucker and Dale vs. Evil”

Selena Gomez

History is my favorite subject

Twitter

Mila Kunis

Bennett Wantz

Kendall Richarz: Track

“Ted”

Taylor Swift

Stuco

Facebook

Ryan Gosling

Daniel Rahn

Johnney Feauto: Baseball

“Step Brothers”

Eminem

Lunch

Facebook

Mila Kunis

Liam Mckee

Sam Black: Ultimate Frisbee

“The Dictator”

2 Chainz

Sometimes I get cookies in L.A.

Facebook

Will Smith

David Sachs (Still a freshman to me)

Kenzie Whitcomb: Soccer

Breaking Down Bronco’s Offseason

By David Sachs Best Move: Wes Welker 2 years, 12 million dollars. Wes Welker, an ex New England Patriot, gives the Broncos, already elite passing game, another huge advantage over defences throughout the league. Having one of the game’s best wide receivers on your team is always going to give fans and players hope for the next season, and the fact that Denver got Welker over New England is bound to make any Broncos fan a happy camper. Worst Move: Losing Elvis Dumervil First, the Broncos and him agreed upon a pay cut, but they were late with a fax. This caused Dumervil to be released and resulted in his agent being fired. Worst of all however, is where he ended up following the fiasco. Baltimore. Now not only is Denver without Elvis Dumervil leadership and outstanding 63.5 career sacks, but he is in a Baltimore uniform which will only add to their . Bottom line the bad news for Denver is that Elvis is leaving the building. Other Notable Moves: Terrance Knighton: In 50 regular season games with the Jacksonville Jaguars he was able to rack up 259 defensive stops and 7.5 sacks. He adds some much needed depth on the defensive line. He will also be reunited with defensive coordinator Jack Del Rio. Jonathan Swartzwelter (Junior): “It’s sweet that we have Welker now” Austin Sparks (Senior): “Losing Dumervil will be rough for the broncos” Sophie Fear (Sophomore): “Who are the Broncos?”

Photos by Megan DeBruyn


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Sports

Spring Sports Update By Cason McHose Sean Lavine: Boys Lacrosse Led by leading scorers Chris Robinson, senior, and Austin Davie, senior, the Knights have not lacked on the offensive end. “My dodging and shooting have really improved this year,” said Davie. “I have been continuously improving on my field vision.” Between the two forwards, Davie and Robinson have managed to score 50% of the teams goals this season at just over 45. The duo have also contributed more than 25% of the teams assists. After a disappointing season last year finishing 6-10 the Knights are hoping to better their record this year. “To go far this season we need to come together as a family and play for one another. We really need to work on playing more as a team,” said LaVine. Megan McCambridge: Girls Golf

Savannah Beetcher: Girls Soccer

Jessee Clauson: Girls Tennis

John Kubancik: Boys Swimming

Cameron Frazier: Boys Baseball

The Lady Knights look to construct a solid season behind senior trio Jordan Sunset, Kelly Moran, and Megan McCambridge. The Knights want to capitalize on the strong senior staff and repeat both league and regional championships again this year. “We are a powerhouse team that has a great opportunity to take the state title,” said McCambridge. In order for the Knights to snatch the State Title the must “continue to work on our short games, so that we can beat Cherry Creek and Arapahoe, the two teams that placed ahead of us at state last year.” Although the Knight’s Soccer team suffered a heartbreaking loss to crosstown rival Boulder High in early April, the team looks to make a strong effort in the last 10 games of the season. Ranked Third in Colorado and 18th Nationally the Kinghts have a lot riding on this season. Behind senior forward Lillian Bitner and Freshman goalkeeper Avery Tallman, the Knights have high hopes. “We have to get a good seed into playoffs by doing well during our league season,” said Junior forward Savannah Beetcher. The Girls Tennis team is playing to impress this season. With a 5-1 league record the Knights have pieced together a great season. After losing six strong varsity seniors the Knights anticipated that this season would have been a struggle. The season looked as though it was over before it began, much to everyone’s surprise the Knights have only impressed. Unfortunately the weather has not been as fortuitous as many had hoped. It has kept the team from practicing as much as they would have liked, but none the less Senior Jessee Clauson is confident they will be prepared for the State Tournament again. “The team obviously has the drive and motivation to come out State Champs this year,” said Clauson. The boys swim team has had a fast start to their season. The Knights placed second at the Colorado Coaches Invite, won the Boulder County Championship, and have won their last six dual meets. The Knights, behind standout seniors Connor Corrigan and Max Phillips, are desperately striving to best the seventh place finish at state last year. “We had to replace some of the great swimmers that we lost after last season,” said senior swimmer John Kubancik. With only five meets left before State the Knights have to “step up and hydrated,” according to Kubancik.

The Knights have started out this season with a 6-6 record. The Knights finished last season two games under .500 at 8-10. Behind Junior Jeff Clarke, the Knights look to capture their second State Title in school history. “We have to play as a team and stay confident in order to go far this postseason,” said Junior Starter Cameron Frazier. The Knights graduated more than half of their varsity squad last year, and yet surprisingly have already matched the amount of wins already.

Photos by Cason McHose


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In-Depth

The Gender Spectrum

by Shannon Rosenblum, Guest Writer Hello Fairview, my name is Shannon. You may know me or you may not, but it is unlikely that you know I am transgender. Gender issues seem to be among the many overlooked problems of our day. Many people understand variant sexuality; in my experience, though, people outside of the LGBT community are widely unaware that people like me even exist. I am agender, which means that I don’t identify as male or female, and it’s uncomfortable for me to have been born into the body that I live in. This discomfort is experienced by many transgender people, and it is called dysphoria. Dysphoria occurs when your physical appearance (and the way others perceive you because of it) does not align with how you see yourself. Personally, I definitely do not see myself as a female, nor do I feel like a male. I do not identify as a little bit of both, half and half, or fluid between the two, as many others might. I feel completely neutral. I feel like neither man nor woman, neither boy nor girl. I am sure this is hard to understand if you never have dealt with something similar, but you can help immensely through acknowledging that these kinds of feelings exist, which is a very simple thing to do! The main social problems I face daily are as follows: using public restrooms, being referred to as “a girl” (I prefer “a person,” and “they, their, them” pronouns), and filling out paperwork with only male and female boxes to check. These things that hurt me are so basic and easy to fix. For example, you can ask people what pronouns they prefer if you are uncertain. Chances are that people will be happy you asked rather than assuming, and if they don’t know what you are talking about, you have a chance to say something along the lines of, “I have a genderqueer friend, and I wanted to be polite.” Saying something as simple as that aids me immensely in my difficult but rewarding journey. Getting the word out is the only way for my dream world (unisex single-stall restrooms in every building, and forms with “male,” “female,” and “other” options that correspond to how you feel, not how you were physically born) to become the norm. Gender is not two distinct categories. Gender is a slew of different things. Gender is a spectrum, a continuum, and some people, like myself, don’t even fit on that line. The bottom line is this: gender is whatever you want it to be and whatever makes you most comfortable. I chose to open up and write this because I believe that education is the most powerful weapon against both intentional and unintentional discrimination. I believe that ignorance is what feeds hate and fear, and I wish to speak up so that other people like myself can be heard. I also hope I can inspire people different from me to gather the confidence necessary to speak out as well. Thank you so much for your time. If you have any questions or just want to talk, feel free to reach me on Facebook. Background- Genderqueer Pride Flag Photo by Wikimedia Commons

Transgender Symbol Photo by Wikimedia Commons

Photo by Shannon Rosenblum


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In-Depth

Transgender Milestones By Keenan Marrinan

1977- Renee Richards became the first transgender person to be admitted into the US open. 1995- RuPaul became the first transgender supermodel. 1999- The Transgender Pride flag was created by Monica Helms. 2010- Victoria Kolakowski became the first transgender judge. 2011- The Girl Scouts of Colorado said they will accept all children who identify as girls. 2013- Batgirl character Alysia Yeoh became the first transgender comic book character.

q&a

with shannon rosenblum What pronouns do transgender people go by?

To find out what pronouns a certain person goes by, you should ask them. I prefer “they” pronouns, but I know others who prefer different ones that I am sure they’d be willing to teach you. Just be respectful and open minded when it comes to pronoun preference, that’s all we ask.

What can’t I say?

How do I ask someone if they’re transgender?

This is tricky. If you ask someone if they are transgendered, you will almost certainly offend them. Honestly it isn’t your business unless they tell you or you are in a sexual relationship with the person. In any case, if the person’s gender and sex will affect you, they will most likely bring it up themselves. All you need to know otherwise is the pronouns the person goes by.

Can transgender people use the correct bathroom without getting in trouble?

This is actually a very delicate subject among the transgender community. In Arizona, a bill has been passed that basically says that a person can be punished with up to six months in jail if they use a restroom that does not match the sex stated on their birth certificate. Using bathrooms according to sex (physical characteristics) is uncomfortable for the transgendered person, and using bathrooms according to gender (mental identification/social presentation) can be uncomfortable for cisgendered people (those whose sex matches their gender). This sticky situation is why I push for gender neutral bathrooms. They also make genderqueer people like me more comfortable.

It is desirable to be as politically correct as possible, of course, but discussing gender variance is not something to be avoided. While I understand that many might be uncomfortable disclosing their gender, I am available to come to if you have any questions. While asking students of Fairview if they had questions about gender variance, I noticed that many seemed uncomfortable talking about the subject. If more people asked the questions they have, then my small community can become less and less invisible and overlooked.

Where do I go if I think I’m transgender?

I did a lot of research before realizing who I am; all I knew was that I hated being a girl and I didn’t necessarily want to be a boy. It’s a tough journey, but there is a lot of support if you are willing to look for it. I am always here to help, as I’ve said, and I can help point you in other directions or just help you along as best I can. There are also loads of trans-friendly online communities that will gladly provide support.

Photo by Wikimedia Commons


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q&a

In-Depth

continued

Where can I find them?

There are many trans people, and they are everywhere. We are simply humans just like you. However if you would like to find openly trans folk to talk to, there are many LGBT communities online to go to and ask your questions or find someone in the same boat as you.

What can Fairview do to help?

Again, I really push for gender neutral, “family style” restrooms. These save many people struggling with their gender identity from having to use the “wrong” bathrooms.

Do they always change their name?

No, not necessarily. A semi-famous and openly transgendered musician identifies as female and she still goes by Johnny. I also do not plan on changing my name, although I do have a name that is not necessarily female or male. So, again, it is up to each individual person to decide.

Are transgender people gay?

Gender and sexuality are completely separate things. I know gay trans folk and straight transgendered people as well. This is especially hardest on men who feel more feminine or present in a more traditionally feminine manner; they are automatically assumed to be gay, when they might simply feel more girly than the average man. So no, trans people can be gay, bi, straight, asexual, or whatever they were born to be. There is no concrete relation between gender and sexual orientation.

What is being transgender like?

It is very difficult being transgender. I feel trapped in a body that contrasts with how I feel. It is hard when people perceive me to be a girl because of my body. I sometimes cannot wear the clothes I’d like to because they are “girl” clothes. I personally wish that my body was different so that people would know I am not a girl, nor am I a boy.

Photo by Wikimedia Commons

pronoun table By Kim Brown

People prefer different pronouns, some you may have never even heard of. Subject Object Possessive Adjective Possessive Pronoun Masculine

he laughs

I hugged him

his heart warmed

that is his

Feminine

she laughs

I hugged her

her heart warmed

that is hers

Singular they

they laugh

I hugged them

their heart warmed

that is theirs

Spivak

e laughs

I hugged em

eir heartwarmed

that is eirs

Spivak (Z)

ze laughs

I hugged zem

zeir heart warmed

that is zeirs

thon laughs

I hugged thon

thons heart warmed

that is thons

hu laughs

I hugged hum

hus heart warmed

that is hus

Thon Humanist


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Opinions

DOMA Violates Constitutional Rights By Maddie Stachniak

Over spring break, the Supreme Court heard arguments pertaining to both the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) as well as California’s infamous Proposition 8, kicking off a heated national debate on gay marriage. DOMA was challenged by several gay couples and brought to the Supreme Court on the grounds that Article 3 of the law is unconstitutional; the article defines marriage as “a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife”. Similarly, California’s Proposition 8 says that only opposite-sex marriages are valid and recognized in the state of California. Effects of the debate have even reached social media sites, such as Facebook. Millions of Facebook users, including Fairview students, changed their profile pictures to a red equals sign flag, a symbol used by the Human Rights Campaign to advocate LGBTQA equality. The conservative lawyer defending Proposition 8, Charles J. Cooper, addressed such arguments as how allowing gays to marry would destroy the sanctity of the institu-

tion. “[Gay marriage] will refocus the purpose of marriage and the definition of marriage away from the raising of children and to the emotional needs and desires of adults and of adult couples,” said Cooper. This argument is completely

Marriage should not solely be about procreation. flawed as there are plenty of infertile couples that can get married, and in addition, marriage should be about an emotional connection between people. Marriage should not solely be about procreation. Some of the more surprising statements made during the hearing came from several of the justices, who claimed that they did not feel ready to pass a national decision on gay marriage. “We have five years of information to weigh against 2,000 years of history or more,” said Justice Kennedy. Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. ex-

pressed similar sentiments. “You want us to step in and render a decision based on an assessment of the effects of this institution, which is newer than cellphones or the Internet?” he said. These statements are the most saddening. There are thousands of arguments that people can list off against gay marriage, such as ‘the sanctity of marriage is at risk’ or ‘what about the bible?’. However, you are treating a certain group of people differently under the law and that is wrong. Whatever your personal beliefs on homesexuals or other minority gruops, these beliefs do not justify discrimination. Everyone should be treated as equals in the eyes of the law, and the job of the Supreme Court justices is to uphold these laws and

These beliefs do not justify discrimination. make them just. The fact that people whose job it is to serve justice are dragging their feet on a national issue simply because they don’t feel ready is anything but justice; they are not doing their jobs. It seems that the path to marriage equality will be a long one; a national measure will likely not be passed any time soon. In all honesty, I believe that if we grant gays the right to marry, there can only be one devastating repercussion: gays will get married.

Cartoon by Alex Ray


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Opinions

The Good Overpowers the Bad By Eliana Goldstein

We live in a world that is incredibly small. We are disturbed and angry individuals who, for whatever brought close by social media, by the internet, by reason, lost track of their own humanity. the ubiquitous phones in our pockets that bring us The acts of human beings are those of compassion updates from friends thousands of miles away mere and bravery that accompany every tragedy. They are seconds after they are typed. the actions of Matt McQuinn and Jon Blunk, young The result of this is that after disasters like the men who threw themselves over their girlfriends Boston Marathon bombings, we all feel the intensity in the Aurora theater, saving both girls but losing of the moment. We read the Tweets from the scene, their own lives in the process. They are the actions of we hit refresh on Google News, we keep count as Victoria Soto, a teacher who died trying to protect her the death and injury tolls tick upwards. Even from students from the Sandy Hook shooter. They are the halfway across a continent, we find actions of bystanders at the Boston Marourselves experiencing a kind athon finish lines two weeks ago, of overwhelming yet helping first responders carry entirely secondhand stretchers, stop bleeding, trauma. and control traffic. The updates As we watch flood in at the calamities unfold speed of our in our small, WiFi coninterconnectnections ed world, it heightenis possible ing the to turn collecour heads tive slightly and feelings see great of chakindnesses os, loss, spreading and over those desperasame contion. nections. We sit After the at home bombings, and lock the internet our doors erupted with and text our offers of aid, friends and from restaurants marvel at the extending invitations sheer surrealism over Twitter for free of so much violence food and a safe space to in a space that seemed so any Boston Marathon runners ordinary mere minutes ago. to a GoogleDocs form full of citizens It seems very easy to lose faith opening their doors to displaced in our world. We become tired of Drawing by Eliana Goldstein residents. seeing stories of extreme violence, of seeing people afraid and in pain, and most of all, of seeing the perpetrators forget how to be human. But it is this last that should remind us of what the majority of us really are. They are the acts of

Our world is bent, but as long as these little acts of heroism continue to occur, it is not broken. The hurt will always be outnumbered by those prepared to take care of them. And we are all human together, through the good and the bad.


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Opinions

New PE Schedule Encourages Lifelong Fitness, Limits Options By Alex Ray

Starting in the 2013-2014 school year, Fairview High School will be implementing a new Physical Education program called Better Bodies and Brains (BBB). The Fairview Friends Foundation (FFF) and FHS created Better Bodies and Brains “to help current FHS students, their families and alumni create a lifestyle of life-long health and fitness,” according the the official BBB flyer. The main effect that Better Bodies and Brains will have on FHS students is the new three-pronged physical education class. According to Carrie Nitchoff, PE teacher at Fairview, you will “choose from three different physical education activities each day...one will be weights, one will be sports, and one will be fitness such as yoga or Zumba.” BBB is based off two solid elementary ideas, according to the official flier. 1) That students’ fitness level directly correlates to their academic performance and 2) that regardless of age, cardiovascular exercise improves all around mental and physical health. In a scientific study conducted by Terence Dwyer in 2001, he studied approximately 8,000 Australian school children with the result being that “physical activity enhances academic performance.” As for the second basic BBB idea, many scientific studies have been conducted that show that exercise has numerous positive health effects. Among these was a 2005 study by Frank Penedo that found that “participants engaging in regular physical activity display

Photo by Emily Ellis

Raquetball Court

Basement Weight Rooom

Upstairs Gym

Spinning Room

Yoga, Kettle Bell, Aerobic Fitness Classes

Free Weights, Circuit Training, Cardio Machines

The raquetball court will become a spinIllustration by Alex Ray ning room; the weight room will be an aerobic room; the small gym will be the new weight room. more desirable health outcomes... including better general and health-related quality of life, better functional capacity and better

The change surrounding Fairview’s fitness rooms has already begun. mood states.” However, it is unclear how this physical education schedule helps FHS students start to develop strong habits with regard to their

fitness. The current PE system has extensive options available, including team sports, racquet sports, weightlifting, bowling, aerobic walking, and more. It is not clear how diminishing the PE options would lead to habitual exercise later in life. I realize that the major benefit of this program is the students’ ability to choose different activities every day. However, it seems counterintuitive saying that adolescents will create better habits when they are only exposed to a small number of options as opposed to the real world where there are countless ways to maintain fitness. To give students the groundwork they need to create better healthy habits later in life, it is prudent to make available a large number of class options, so students can make their own choices on how to be fit.


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Humor

Prom: A Modest Proposal By Maddie Stachniak and Alex Ray

Each year, every high school in America that is hosting a prom has some minority of parents complaining about the safety (or lack thereof) of their high schoolers. Due to the popularity of this dance, as well as the tradition of hosting prom, most high schools simply dismiss these concerns as overly protective parents that need to stop living through their children. However, here at the Court Jester, we believe that the safety of the students should be paramount in the school’s decision making process. We propose that prom should therefore be made safe for our delicate children. The first concern is injury due to gyrating and physical contact between males and females. In order to combat this probPhoto by Eliana Goldstien lem, each student will be required to wear an Abstinence Suit, a full-body padded suit to protect them from the temptations of physical contact with the opposite gender. In addition, each chaperone will be supplied with a Chastity Light, a large, blindingly bright spotlight that will be shone on couples who are dancing too close, in order to properly shame them. This perfectly reasonable proposal will ensure that all teens are having fun at prom, while still remaining abstinent and safe.

9 Lifesaving Prom Tips By Kali Crossen and Alex Flynn

1) Get the same dress as all of your friends. Being original is so last year. Stop by your local Savers with your friends to ensure all of your dresses look identical. 2) Give yourself at least 10 hours to prep for the most important night of your entire life. Pick two of the following, you won’t have time for anything else- Hair: 3 hours. Makeup: 4 hours. Spray tan: 2 hours. Nails: 3 hours. Getting dressed: 5 hours. 3) Skip the shower. Statistics have proven that you’re more likely to find that special someone when you go au natural. 4) Guys- Look like Channing Tatum. Thank you. 5) Watch the movie “Prom Night” before you go to prom. It’s the perfect depiction of what your much-anticipated night will probably be. 6) Put your corsage on your ankle. Start a new trend! 7) Have your mom make dinner for you and your date. An intimate night with you, your date and your beloved mommy is the perfect start to a romantic night. 8) Make sure to get freaky on the dance floor! Dance the robot and crank out the moonwalk to impress your peers. 9) Getting home by at least 11:00 is crucial because it’s THE LAW.


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Humor

Madlibs: Senioritis Edition By Kali Crossen and Alex Flynn

Every year, seniors catch a/an __________ _________which

adjective

disease

most refer to as senioritis. Some juniors believe they have caught it in the final months of their third year in high school; however, they could not be more wrong. Senioritis is much more ___________ than underclassmen adjective

realize and it is not a term to be thrown around. Depending on the individual, senioritis usually starts to attack the senior’s brain in ________ and from then on ____________, _____________, and month

school skill

athletic skill

____________ skills are useless. The most common symptoms of seniorsocial skill

itis include spending excessive amounts of time on _________________, website

overeating in attempt to subdue ______________, procrastination, and ____________________. emotion symptom

Grades drop _____________ in the Campus Portal and teachers begin to adverb

recognize that all hope of teaching anything is gone. They even begin to grade their students based on their ability to draw ______________ in noun

their notebooks.

When Spring Break rolls around most seniors have already begun the countdown to graduation. The weeks after Spring Break are ________ and pointless. adjective

Many refer to the break from school as a teaser for summer. Some seniors lose all motivation to complete any ___________________ at all and worry that their class assignment

____________________ will prevent them from graduating in the last stretch of noun/phrase

high school.


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Prom Fashion Show Photos by Emily Ellis

Photos/Memes


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