The Power of Words
Introduction: Why Are the Words We Speak to Children Important?
As an adult, have you ever had someone say something mean to you? Or call you names, even in a joke? There’s an old saying, a rhyme that goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” That couldn’t be further from the truth. Words spoken in the wrong way, can hurt and cause deep and lasting pain.
The words we use in speaking to children is extremely important. They are just developing their young minds and emotions and are wide open for the positive and negative impact of words.
In this age of the internet and social media the wrong words can cause a great deal of hurt and anguish and torment.
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The Power of Positive Words
The following quote from www.compassion.com says, “Words have energy, and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”
When we speak words that are positive and encouraging, we help to boost a child’s belief in themselves and give them motivation. So many areas of a child’s being is affected by the words we use in speaking to them. Such as:
Values
Empathy
Cognitive development
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Instill a love of learning
Emotional well-being
How a child interacts with others
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5 Ways Positive Words Influence A Child
SELF-ESTEEM: Friendly and supportive words can help a child feel valued and appreciated. These help to build a positive self-image.
CAN-DO ATTITUDE: Beneficial words can help grow the mind-set in a child that they can face challenges and develop resilience.
EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING: If the child hears encouraging and affirming words, they feel loved, supported and understood.
COMMUNICATION SKILLS: A child hearing positive and respectful words, will model that behavior in his own actions with others.
CREATING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS: Beneficial and uplifting words spoken over a child develops a strong bond with caregivers, teachers and fellow kids.
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The Scary Power of Negative Words
Negative words repeated over and over and over again have a scary power. They destroy a person from the inside out. Once a child, teen or adult accepts them a person begins to destroy themselves.
According to a quote by Dr. Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D, “Kidsinternalize negativelabelsandbegintoseethemselvesas‘notgoodenough.’”Negative statements such as, “I hate you. I wish you were never born or you’re stupid or fat or ugly…” these messages are believed. The child is only hearing, that he or she is a bad person.
These hurtful words play like an endless tape in the mind, sometimes consciously, often unconsciously. Shaming or humiliating a child causes them to be afraid. This internal fear does not go away.
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5 Ways Negative Words Hurt A Child
Feelings of doubt and low self-worth: Constant exposure to harsh words makes a child doubt their abilities. They don’t feel good enough.
Mental Health Issues: Repeated words of negativity creates toxicity. This shows up as anxiety, depression and the child’s emotional growth is thwarted.
Aggressive or Withdrawn Behavior: They may begin to act out not only at home but school too. Sometimes, to get attention and / or to express their anger and frustration. Or completely withdraw into themselves.
Poor Grades and Misbehaving in School: If a child is constantly told they are dumb or won’t amount to much. Why bother trying hard to learn in school?
Increased Anger and Aggression: All that pent-up emotion of fear and shame causes emotional and psychological pain. That pain has to come out somewhere.
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A Child’s Inner Voice
In an article by Audrey Monke entitled: The Power of Positive Words, it states, “The way we talk to our children become their inner voice.”
I don’t know about you, but that statement hit me in the gut.
I felt it.
I grew up watching the harmful effects of negative words spoken repeatedly to my three younger brothers on a daily basis.
We grew up in a house of fear and pain.
After awhile my brothers internalized those harsh words.
They began to believe them.
My little brothers changed from the sweet, fun-loving and sometimes mischievous imps into mean, surly and one of them extremely dangerous men.
They became the words spoken over them.
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Did You Spot the Difference?
On the left side, you are describing the behavior you don’t like or want.
On the right side, you are using basically the same words but you’re telling your child that something is wrong with them. They are somehow defective.
Kids don’t know the difference. They take the words like the ones spoken on the right – Literally.
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See the Difference? Describes A Behavior Demeans the Child
Just like seeds need the proper nourishment to grow into healthy plants, so do children.
This is an image of an unhealthy plant. It is not getting the care, the water, the love, or the attention it needs.
Every living being – whether it’s human, animal, or plant has the potential and desire to evolve and reach their full potential.
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In Conclusion
Words have a deep effect on children. Praise and encouragement boost a child’s self-confidence, motivation and self-esteem. The more a child is around communication that is respectful and uplifting, they are more likely to develop a positive self-image and will try to succeed.
Negative words tear down a child’s self-esteem. They begin to doubt themselves. They walk around with feelings of not being good enough and too often think that they don’t deserve to be treated with respect or decency. Maybe even believe that they deserve to be treated badly.
As adults, it’s extremely important, that we be mindful of the power of our words, especially when speaking to young people. It is said, that the words we speak will remain in their heads forever. If this is true, let us speak words that empower, encourage and enrich children to become happy, healthy and balanced in mind, body and emotions. That they might create futures for themselves and the rest of us, filled with hope and promise.
Till next time…
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