Poem Sitting On A Fire Escape (1)

PoemSittingOnAFireEscape

MyrstwinterinNewYork Ifoundmyself inthearmsofanoldfriend

ontheroofofabuilding thatwasmuchtoonice foreitheroneofus

Webroughtupakettleofchaijust tobreatheinourmothersagain.

Overlookingthecity’smask ofspeckledlights,bargaining withmyself-image Here

Inthisbasinofescapism Ifounditinmetomissyou.

Iunbuttonedmycoat,slow. Slipped-olacesocksandan emeraldring,letastringof indelicaciesleavemylips.

Thesteamcarries inthewinter.Theairisfar toocuttingtobesubdued–toosharptosurrenderitsedge.

Themicroexplosionofvanillanodes inltratingthevastnessofnight issounthinkinglyviolent,thejhag cannothelpbutlaylimpagainst mytongueandzzleout, likesnow.

ThemanyyearscomehowlingandIam just beginning.

Iconsortwithmynewfound

humanity,lingerabit toolongintospace–

andsuddenlyI’mspilling outontothecongealedurries inboutsofsobs,andcream.

Thewindcatches thesilentsteadfast soundsofaradio, oratelevision, orapiano. Figments.

Ithink I’mhearing things

Thereweremomentsinyourarms whenIwouldconsider:you. Everyoneyou’veeverbeen andeveryoneyoumightbecome.

I’dsurrenderabuttonor astfulofquarters Find “transcendence”through Whitman(orevenBurns)

Tolive inNewYork:aloneanddisowned istostripmeofeveryhistory Asinglemeaningfulrepent.

It’sdaysbeforeIamabletomoveagain Collectmycoeepeels,leaveevery indecencyburiedbeneaththesnow.

Iwalkmyselfhome withoutatraceofloveatall.

Iamallthebetterforit