CHQ Dialogues Reading #8 "The Dominate Participant & Active Listening"

The Dominate Participant & Active Listening Reading #8

FACILITATOR 3” ID

FACILITATOR 3” ID

Most people can tell you what characteristics a bad listener has acquired, but few know what makes for a good listener. Kate Murphy, author of "You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters" explores what makes for a good listener and gives us some very useful direction that is applicable to our Chautauqua Dialogues.

See the Video Top 8 Things to Know

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n early challenge in developing e ective dialogues The was how to best start the dialogue. What we soon dominate learned from early dialogues was that some participants person in a wanted to dominate the dialogue from the very group beginning. We developed what we call the “big idea” to start each session. After our short introduction we ask each participant to tell the group in one or two sentences what resonated with them most from the lectures they have heard so far during the week. What was the “big idea?”

The video here shows how a facilitator developed a similar methodology for a business group. The di erence between the method

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ering somebody uninterrupted time to talk, even a few minutes, is a generous gift that we seldom give each other. But, it doesn’t mean we should allow a participant in a dialogue to go on and on without engaging in a conversation.

One of the challenges a facilitator faces is the presence of an individual who takes command of the group, rather than act like one of several participants. Getting comfortable with interrupting a “commander” is part of the process of becoming a good facilitator. It starts with understanding that no one in the group wants rants or speeches. They want conversation and an exchange of ideas. So interrupting is just part of the job and done kindly will be appreciated by the other participants. One way to move on is to simply name another participant and say, “Nancy had similar thoughts,” and turning to Nancy, say “Could you tell us more about your thoughts on this subject?” You can also interrupt to say, “we do have limited time so let’s see what some of the others in the group think.” Being assertive in this manner will make for a better experience for all participants.

in the video and our methodology is that we don’t use a written form to create the control mechanism, but both work.

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uch has been written about “active listening” which is described as being fully attentive, fully present in the moment. But listening involves more than hearing words. It means paying attention to other elements of communication like physical expressions that show joy and pain and other emotions that are not part of the words.

Understanding active listening in this context will make you a better facilitator because you will gain more knowledge about what is being said by acknowledging the way in which it is being said.

We like to say that with any dialogue there are two conversations going on at all time. The rst is what is being said (the words) and the second is the meta-conversation that represents all of the feelings (emotions) behind the words represented by how the words are being said.

Take a look here to read another take on “Meta-Conversations: What Why and How”

READ THE ARTICLE

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