55 Plus of Rochester, #39: May – June 2016 by 55 Plus: For Active Adults in Rochester

How to Calculate Your Retirement Number When the Kids Are Gone: Single Mom Finds a Creative Solution

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55 PLUS Issue 39 May / June 2016

For Active Adults in the Rochester Area

Miss USA 1979

Mary Therese Friel, a beauty queen and business woman, is Flower Cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s model of success

Scotch Whisky : Two Aficionados Talk About Their Passion

May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

CONTENTS 55 PLUS

How to Calculate Your Retirement Number When the Kids Are Gone: Single Mom Finds a Creative Solution

free

55 PLUS

May / June2016

PLUS Issue 39 May / June 2016

For Active Adults in the Rochester Area

Miss USA 1979

Mary Therese Friel, a beauty queen and business woman, is Flower City’s model of success

roc55.com

Scotch Whisky : Two Aficionados Talk About Their Passion

Savvy Senior 6 Financial Health 8 Dining Out 10 My Turn 14 Addyman’s Corner 42 Long-term Care 48

38 12 AGING • When the kids are gone: A single mom’s experience

Sharon Cary, a Victor resident, helps raise about $1 million for Serenity House. 4

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26 LOVE AFFAIR

• The baby boomers and their incredible cars

16 HOBBIES

28 VOLUNTEERING

22 INVESTING

30 COVER

22 WRITING

36 ARTS

• Rochester-area residents share their passion for scotch

• Local advisers offer 10 tips for successful investing

Last Page Q&A

• Author guides residents, visitors to most exciting venues in the city

24 FUN THINGS

• Getting revved up for Rochester’s car shows

• Group makes sure trails in Webster are in great shape

• Mary Therese Friel is Flower City’s model of success

• Lynn Duggan at heart of Nazareth’s studio art program

38 PROFILE

• Coach Linda Berner Adams shows true leadership

• Other stories in this issue: bowling, cosmetic surgery, back to school

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Old Forge/Fall Foliage 10/6-7/16 $210 p.p./dbl Foxwoods Casino @ Great Cedar Tower 11/13-15/16 $261 p.p./dbl Christmas in NYC (includes guided tour, Christmas Spectacular with Rockettes, dinner boat cruise & more) 12/2-4/16 $678 p.p./dbl DAY TRIP Pancakes & Seneca Allegany Casino 3/31/16 & 6/23/16 & 9/8/16 $55 p.p. Tribute to Diana Ross & The Supremes @ Seneca Niagara Casino 4/13/16 $75 p.p. Nana’s Naughty Knickers @ Lucille Ball Theater 4/24/16 $84 p.p. Tribute to Patsy Cline @ Seneca Allegany Casino 5/11/16 $79 p.p. *Yankees VS Toronto Blue Jays 9/24/16 $125 p.p. 9/29/16 & 10/13/16 $105 p.p.

Please call for trip details, a brochure, and additional info. For Reservations, Tour info & Bus Charter quotes CALL 585-797-9044 • 315-524-8247 www.startravelandtours.com • 308 Buell Rd • Rochester, 14624

*Ont., Canada. A Passport Enhanced Drivers License or Passport Required. (Star travel or any Affiliates are not Responsible for Tyographical Errors.)

May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

savvy senior By Jim Miller

How to Calculate Your Retirement Number

alculating an approximate number of how much you’ll need to save for a comfortable retirement is actually pretty easy, and doesn’t take long to do. It’s a simple, three-step process that includes estimating your future living expenses, tallying up your retirement income and calculating the difference. There are even a host of online calculators that can help you with this too.

Living Expenses

The first step is the most difficult — estimating your living expenses when you retire. If you want a quick ballpark estimate, figure around 75 to 85 percent of your current gross income. That’s what most people find they need to maintain their current lifestyle in retirement. If you want a more precise estimate, track your current living expenses on a worksheet and deduct any costs you expect to go away or decline when you retire, and add whatever new ones you anticipate. Costs you can scratch off your list include work-related expenses like commuting or lunches out, as well as the amount you’re socking away for retirement. You may also be able to deduct your mortgage if you expect to have it paid off by retirement, and your kid’s college expenses. Your income taxes should also be less. On the other hand, some costs will probably go up when you retire, like health care and, depending on your interests, you may spend a lot more on travel, golf or other hobbies. And, if you’re going to be retired for 20 or 30 years you also need to factor in the occasional big budget items like a new roof, furnace or car.

Tally Income

Step two is to calculate your retirement income. If you and/or your wife contribute to Social Security, go to ssa.gov/myaccount to get your personalized statement that estimates 6

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what your retirement benefits will be at age 62, full retirement age and when you turn 70. In addition to Social Security, if you or your wife has a traditional pension plan from an employer, find out from the plan administrator how much you are likely to get when you retire. And, figure in any other income from other sources you expect to have, such as rental properties, part-time work, etc.

Calculate the Difference

The final step is to do the calculations. Subtract your annual living expenses from your annual retirement income. If your income alone can cover your bills, you’re all set. If not, you’ll need to tap your savings, including your 401(k) plans, IRAs, or other investments to make up the difference. So, let’s say for example you need around $55,000 a year to meet your living expenses and pay taxes, and you and your wife expect to receive $30,000 a year from Social Security and other income. That leaves a $25,000 shortfall that you’ll need to pull from your nest egg each year ($55,000 – $30,000 = $25,000). Then, depending on what age you want to retire, you need to multiply your shortfall by at least 25 if you want to retire at 60, 20 to retire at 65, and 17 to retire at 70 — or in this case that would equate to $625,000, $500,000 and $425,000, respectively. Why 25, 20 and 17? Because that would allow you to pull 4 percent a year from your savings, which is a safe withdrawal strategy that in most cases will let your money last as long as you do. If you need some help, there’s a bevy of free online retirement calculators to assist you, like the ones offered by T. Rowe Price (troweprice. com/retirement) or Financial Mentor (financialmentor.com/calculator).

55PLUS roc55.com Editor and Publisher Wagner Dotto

Associate Editor Lou Sorendo

Contributing Writers

Deborah J. Sergeant , Ernst Lamothe Jr., Deborah Blackwell, Jacob Pucci, Amy Cavalier, Lynette M. Loomis, Charlotte Symonds Nina Alvarez, Ken Little, Jessica Gaspar

Columnists

Jim Terwilliger, Susan Suben Jim Miller, Bruce Frassinelli John Addyman, Lian Gravelle

Advertising

Donna Kimbrell, Anne Westcott H. Mat Adams

Office Manager Alice Davis

Layout and Design Eric J. Stevens

Cover Photo

Chuck Wainwright 55 PLUS –A Magazine for Active Adults in the Rochester Area is published six times a year by Local News, Inc., which also publishes In Good Health–Rochester—Genesee Valley’s Healthcare Newspaper.

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How to Reach Us P.O. Box 525 Victor, NY 14564 Voice: 585-421-8109 Fax: 585-421-8129 Editor@roc55.com

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financial health By Jim Terwilliger

Roth Contributions, Roth Conversions: What to Do?

often say that the Roth IRA — and more-recent Roth 401(k) — is one of the greatest gifts bestowed by the US Congress on the American taxpayer. It amazes me that so many folks do not understand its value and, consequently, do not employ it as part of their retirement savings plan. When should the Roth be used? Like most other financial questions, it depends. One rule of thumb suggests that putting money aside in a Roth-type account only makes sense when one expects his/her future marginal income tax rate to be higher than current. But this advice generally is paired with the option to put the money aside, instead, in a traditional IRA/401(k). This either-or exercise does not consider the Roth as an attractive stand-alone option. Another challenge to this rule is uncertainty around future income tax rates. The current political landscape leaves most of us clueless as to what marginal tax bracket we might find ourselves in 10, 20, 30 years out. A tempting, but dangerous, exercise is to use one of the many Roth conversion calculators found on the Internet. Such calculators spit out exact numbers with a yes-or-no recommendation, giving the results the appearance of ultimate precision.

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But, change just one or two assumptions and the resulting recommendation can do a “180.” Setting rules of thumb and the allure of calculators aside, we’ll review the tax advantages of a Roth-type account and consider some of the factors that might lead you to consider Roth vehicles in your retirement plan.

Roth Characteristics Unlike contributions to a traditional IRA/401(k) plan, Roth contributions are made after-tax. Such investments, once in a Roth account, can grow and are shielded from income taxes forever — as long as certain rules are followed. Second, contrary to rules for traditional IRAs/401(k)s, required minimum distributions (RMDs) are not required starting at age 70-1/2. Although this is not the case for Roth 401(k) accounts, once a Roth 401(k) is rolled over to a Roth IRA, RMDs are no longer in the picture. Additionally, contributions (principal) can always be taken out without tax or penalty. Distributions are considered principal first. However, we do not recommend premature distributions from an account intended to fund retirement.

Roth Contributions We recommend that folks approaching retirement have a reasonable mix of all three types of accounts — pretax, tax-free (Roth), and taxable. This is known as tax-risk diversification and is something I addressed in detail in a past column. All three have their pros as well as cons. My view is that the pros for Roth accounts far outweigh any cons, making them a critical part of any retirement portfolio. As long as the income cap is not exceeded, establishing and contributing to a Roth IRA is easy to do. And for those whose employer offers a Roth 401(k), this is an ideal pathway for Roth savings — high contribution limits and no income cap.

Roth Conversions This is the tricky part. This consideration arises typically after retirement starts. Should I do a wholesale IRA-to-Roth IRA conversion? Should I meter it out over time? Forget the rules of thumb. Forget the conversion calculators. This decision depends on individual circumstances. Here are some real-life examples from our work with clients: • Wholesale Conversion — Generally, not a good idea, particularly if the IRA balance is large. Negative consequences include a potentially-huge one-year tax hit that could take someone up into the 39.6 percent federal tax bracket, put capital gains into 20 percent territory, trigger the 3.8 percent additional Medicare tax on net investment income (due to increased adjusted gross income), and trigger a high Medicare Part B/D tax in a future year. Additionally, paying resulting large tax bill can put a burden on the account used to fund the tax, resulting in a smaller nest egg left to grow. This is definitely a no-no if you intend to fund ultimate charitable bequests via IRA beneficiary designations, since disposition of the IRA will then be tax-free. • Partial Conversions — This can make perfect sense under many circumstances. Examples include: 1) topping off the 15 percent federal tax bracket with strategic annual conversions between retirement and age 70-1/2; 2) converting a portion in a year in which you will have significant business losses or medical deductions; and 3) strategic annual conversions needed to fully soak up a previous significant charitable contribution over the following carryover years. As always, don’t try to develop optimal Roth strategies, short or longterm, on your own. Be sure to work with a trusted financial professional to help chart your course.

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James Terwilliger, CFP, is senior vice president, financial planning manager, Wealth Strategies Group, Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. He can be reached at 585419-0670 ext. 50630 or by email at jterwilliger@cnbank.com. May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

DiningOut

Restaurant

Guide

By Jacob Pucci

For a restaurant in a hotel lobby with no one true entrance, the interior at Char Steak is surprisingly cozy.

Char Steak & Lounge

A Great Bet for a Sunday Brunch

runch. It’s the meal people love to hate and hate to admit they love. I’ve never understood the hatred for the hybrid meal — when else is it acceptable to drink alcohol while eating pancakes? — and apparently neither has Char Steak & Lounge, where the Grand Buffet Brunch has been served each Sunday since February. The restaurant, located in the lobby of the chic Strathallan Hotel, was about half-full when we arrived around 12:30 p.m. on a recent Sunday afternoon. For a restaurant in a hotel lobby with no one true entrance, the interior was surprisingly cozy, thanks 10

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in part to the metal beaded curtains dividing the space into comfortable sections. Bottomless mimosas, garnished with fresh fruit, and bloody marys, garnished with a celery stick and a skewer of olive and cheese, come with the price of admission. The bar is also open, if you’re looking for a beer or something a little bit harder. As the name implies, the buffet runs the gamut of breakfast pastries, omelets and meats, to carved roasts, smoked fish and desserts. Brunch is $34 for adults, whether you load up on Belgian waffles and home fries or smoked trout, scallops and prime rib. The waffles come

served with real maple syrup, berry compote, almonds and whipped cream and are indeed very tasty, but when there’s wood-grilled salmon, leg of lamb, prime rib and Bourbon-glazed smoked pork loin, there’s no room for waffles. Along with the smoked scallops and trout, the seafood platter included two types of smoked salmon and mussels, as well as capers, finely chopped red onion, chopped egg and other traditional accompaniments. All were great, but the scallops were on another level, with an ethereal smokiness that fades to sweetness on the back of the tongue. The lamb and prime rib were

Bloody mary served at Char Steak.

The scallops on the seafood platter were on another level, with an ethereal smokiness that fades to sweetness on the back of the tongue. cooked closer to medium than rare, but both were very tender, save for a few bits of gristle in the lamb. The tomato and mint jam served alongside provided freshness and enough acidity to cut through the fatty meat. After a couple plates of caprese salad, cheese, charcuterie, antipasti, bacon, vegetables and a really delicious ravioli with prosciutto, peas and mushrooms, I thought I had room for a bit more smoked seafood. That is, until I saw the desserts. Cheesecake topped with fruit or caramel, spice cake with cream cheese frosting, individual crème brûlée that held their crisp sugar tops, despite being on the buffet table. The chocolate mousse, served in elegant champagne coupes, pushes

the boundary on how much chocolate one can pack in to such an airy dessert. Unlike the mousse, which at least gives off the impression of lightness, the flourless chocolate cake makes no qualms about its allout chocolate assault. Whatever you do — whether you fill up on roasted lamb and smoked scallops or the mac and cheese and chicken fingers for the kids — save room for the chocolate cake. We sat, ate, ordered another bloody mary and mimosa and had

a blast until the restaurant closed, about two hours after we sat down. Without the long lanes and rushed service in order to quickly turnover tables, we were free to have a drink, chat and relax. Looking for the breakfast classics in a sophisticated setting? The eggs benedict and omelets, both cooked to order, will certainly please. Do you detest the idea of brunch and just want to eat copious amounts of meat? They’ll be just as happy to see you on your fourth trip to the carving station as they were on your first. So leave all your preconceived notions about brunch at the door and sample a great rendition of the much-maligned meal. All the servers, chefs and managers walked the floor with smiles and a pep in their step. They looked happy to be there, and so will you.

Char Steak & Lounge

Address: 550 East Ave., Rochester, N.Y., 14607 Phone: 585-241-7100 Website: www.charsteakandlounge.com Hours: Breakfast: 7 a.m. to 10 a.m., daily. Lunch: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Mon to Sat. Dinner: 5 p.m. to 10 p.m., Mon to Thurs. 5 p.m. to 11 p.m., Fri and Sat. 4 p.m. to 9 p.m., Sun. Brunch: 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Sun.

Advice: Make sure you save room for dessert at Char Steak. You’ll be happy you did. May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

55+

aging

Charlotte Symonds during one of her book sign events.

When the Kids Are Gone

Single mom finds perfect escape into world of creative writing By Charlotte Symonds

‘I was then in my 50s and finally able to do something that I had always done mentally, but never had the time to put onto paper. I could write a novel.’ 12

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aving a career and being a single mom of two daughters didn’t leave much room for “me time.” My total focus was on earning a living and being the best mom I could be. When my girls were young, there were museums, zoos, playgrounds and parks to visit. As they grew older there were sports practices, tournaments, dance recitals and crew regattas. I was pretty much their activity planner, chauffer and biggest fan. With each daughter being assigned her own color, our family calendar

was chock full of red and blue ink depicting who had what activity coming up, and when and where. I of course had no color assigned to me because I was the blurred mixture of the blue and red that spent every free minute that I wasn’t working with my daughters. When my oldest was readying for college, I realized that with her departure the family calendar, as my daily life, would lose a bit of color. Time had opened in my hectic daily schedule and there was now space for some “me time.” I was then in my 50s and finally able to do something that I had

always done mentally, but never had the time to put onto paper. I could write a novel. As long as I can remember, I have been creating stories. Some people fall to sleep watching TV or reading. For me, I close my eyes and create characters and story plots. I write dialogue, choose costumes, create sets and have movies of my very own swirling in my mind. People are often bored when waiting in lines or driving long distances. These are not annoyances for me; rather, they are opportunities. They are times when I can create other worlds, and keep myself totally occupied. I have a thick folder at home where I keep notes with ideas for future novels. An idea can come to me from anywhere at any time. My purse is occasionally full of scraps of paper where I have jotted down an idea on a sales receipt, bank slip, used envelope or a napkin. The folder sits on my desk in my dining room next to our family table. My desk had always been there for it held our family computer. Wanting to be able to check my daughters’ Internet use, I had it placed in our busiest room. My favorite place to write isn’t at that desk, but rather, I sit my laptop on my dining room table. It’s the same table where I helped my daughters with their homework and projects. The same table where they would color, finger paint and where we dyed Easter eggs, made Valentine cards, wrapped Christmas gifts, blew out birthday candles and shared stories of our days’ events at every meal.

Creative setting Perhaps that’s why it is there where I feel the most relaxed and free to express myself. It’s because of the love that table has been surrounded by for so many years. I guess if wood could talk, that table would have a novel all of its own, full of both smiles and tears. When I first started writing, my youngest daughter Jessica said, “It’s about time you’re doing something for yourself.” I hadn’t been aware until then that I really had put my own life on hold when I became a single mom and that my children realized it. Funny, when I separated

from their father when they were quite young, I never would have guessed that my girls would have started dating before me. That fact still at times makes me smile. I would have loved to engage in writing earlier in my life, but it would have meant taking time away from my top priority, my daughters. And that would have been something I would never have chosen, not even if I could. My dining room table no longer has text books, book bags and classroom notes sprawled out across it, but rather notes on research I have for whatever novel I’m working on, pictures of actors whom I have picked to depict my current characters and my caffeine beverage of choice, a vanilla Coke. One might say my genre of writing is of the human condition. When picking male protagonists for my novels, I pick the best characteristics of men to attach to them. While it’s true that no man is perfect, I realize kind, thoughtful, caring and good men are out there in the world. Men usually get a bad rap, so I write about the good guys to give credence to their existence. I am sure that I am not the only woman who doesn’t have one of these good guys in her life at the moment, so I write in the hopes that others can sit back, relax and for the hours they read my novel be totally enthralled with the male characters who treat women with the love, respect and sex that they deserve. For me, writing is more of a calling than choice. I totally lose myself in another place and time and am taken away to wherever I want to go, with whomever I want to be there with. While I am writing a story, I mentally live in the world I create. Writing brings out every emotion possible, the best and worst of them. And, yet even after writing a heart-wrenching event with eyes puffy from crying, I still have a feeling of contentment. When I type the last sentence to a novel and hit the period, a sense of accomplishment overcomes me. But, then with it, a bit of sadness appears. For just as my own children have left the nest, now characters whom I have grown to love also have been set free. That’s when I go for my folder of ideas, and the whole process starts again.

Finger Lakes Musical Theatre Festival comes to Rochester! IERE

AL PREM

REGION

Music, Lyrics, Book by Lindsay Warren Baker and Amanda Jacobs

PERFORMANCES AT THE CALLAHAN THEATER AT NAZARETH ARTS CENTER ROCHESTER, NY JULY 15 - JULY 24, 2016 Our 2016 Season shows in Auburn, NY:

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May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

my turn

By Bruce Frassinelli Email: bruce@cny55.com

What’s Happening with Customer Service?

I’ve had a string of bad experiences recently

n some stores, customer service seems to have disappeared. Even in supermarkets that have been named among the best in customer service in the nation, there is occasional slippage. I stopped by Wegmans the other day to pick up a seven-inch sub (my favorite, capicola on that delicious wheat bread). I took my purchase to a nearby register where a woman was frantically pounding at a calculator; another was checking on pizza in the oven, and a third was behind the counter looking around, including right at me. She

made no move toward me. It probably wasn’t her job. I was the only one in line at the time. Almost a minute passed when the woman on the calculator looked up briefly and said, “Be right with you,” then returned, again pounding at the numbers on the calculator. Another minute passed, and, by this time, three more customers had backed up behind me. I looked at them, and they looked at me in exasperation. Regrettably, too often these days, when I come back from shopping, I feel disrespected, ignored, sometimes even invisible. I am agitated and riled. My parents owned a corner grocery store when I was a kid. My brothers and I worked in that store while we were growing up. My father drilled it into my head every day: The customer comes first. Whatever you’re doing, drop it, and take care of the customer. The customer is always right. Even though I am up there in age, 14

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I am not an unreasonable shopper. I am polite, say “please” and “thank you,” and I’m respectful. I went into a convenience store the other day to buy a candy bar — my favorite, Chunky. When I went to the counter with my $5 bill, the woman muttered, looked up, but said nothing. Nearly a minute went by while she continued to do some chore she apparently had started before I arrived at the counter and appeared annoyed that I had interrupted her. I put down the Chunky on the counter and walked out. I didn’t make

a scene, even though I was steaming. No sale. Her competitor down the street was going to get this sale, even if it was for only a dollar and some change. Customers may forget what a service rep said, but they will never forget how a customer service person made them feel. It’s almost as if the term “customer service” is an oxymoron for some of these clerks. Is it their fault, or have they not been adequately trained to understand that the customer must come first? What I would like to tell them — and what their bosses should be telling them — is that without the customer they don’t have a job. So whatever that oh-so-important task

was that superseded taking care of the customer, it becomes irrelevant if there are no customers to serve. I can’t tell you the number of times that a clerk has given me change or handed me my credit card receipt without a word. No “thank you,” not even the half-hearted “have a nice day.” Nothing. What angered me after the fact is that I thanked her! For what? Her rudeness? I do not feel very special at times such as these. When you call by phone to make a complaint, your first challenge is to make it through the gauntlet of prompts.

I called one of my medical providers recently to report that I had been billed for a service for which I had sent a check several months earlier. “Let me look into it,” the customer service person said. After being on hold for about two minutes listening to in-house promotions and insipid music,

I was told there was no record of the payment. “Your office cashed the check,” I told her. She insisted that there was no record of the payment. I reminded her again that the check had been cashed and my account debited. She asked me to mail her a copy of

the canceled check. I asked her why I had to go through the effort to locate the canceled check from my electronic checking account, then spend 49 cents on a stamp for an error that was not of my doing. “But, sir,” she said — the “sir” dripping with sarcasm — “this is our policy.” “Well,” I told her with equal sarcasm, “my policy is for you to find the problem and fix it. Here is my phone number. Let me know when you do.” She called me the next day to report that the “missing” check had been “found.” She said that an unnamed employee had coded the check incorrectly, and the payment was credited to another account. There was no apology or concern about the trouble I had gone through to resolve this issue. Somehow, in her mind, I was the unreasonable one. What infuriates me and others is when customer service reps pass the buck by pointing fingers at a computer glitch, a new employee or some internal issue. One of the main problems for poor customer service is that the reps are not empowered to solve issues. When reps are given authority to do whatever it takes to make the customer happy, customer satisfaction rises exponentially. Surveys show that more than 70 percent of complaining customers will return to a store or business if the problem is resolved in their favor. That number grows to 95 percent if the issue is resolved on the spot. How many times have you written a letter and never even gotten the courtesy of a reply? Many customers just throw up their hands in disgust and resignation. Rather than duke it out, customers figure it’s easier to take their business elsewhere. While service providers should have a keen eye when a customer is exasperated, most have the sensitivity of a stone, or, many just don’t care. When I asked a customer service provider once why he didn’t seem to care about my problem, he said, with surprising frankness, “It’s tough to care too much when I’m getting paid $7.25 an hour.” Alan Weiss, author of “Million Dollar Consulting,” said it best: “Ask your customers to be part of the solution, and don’t view them as part of the problem.”

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May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

55+

hobbies Jim DeCaro and his friend Alan Senior (opposite page) have a real love for Scotch whisky. They have held their “Wednesday Night Tastings” to drink scotch since 1980.

‘Water of Life’

Rochester-area Scotch whisky aficionados toast to the storied history of their preferred drink By Nina Alvarez

cotch is a mysterious drink, shrouded in unclear origins. What we do know is the first written record of distilled spirit in Scotland was in 1494, by King James IV to Friar John Cor, ordering about 1,120 pounds of malt to make aqua vitae, “the water of life.” This much malt would produce about 400 bottles of today’s whiskey. Five hundred years later, in the 1990s, two Rochester-area men found themselves with almost as much Scotch as King James: 360 bottles to be exact. Today, of the once-kingly collection, only about 30 bottles are left. “I can’t even think about what they’d be worth now if we still had them,” says Jim DeCaro. But from the beginning, DeCaro and Alan Se16

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nior decided to spend the Scotch on friendship and enjoyment instead of saving it. DeCaro, for example, once had a $500 Black Bowmore, now worth at least 10 times that. But that 1964 bottle of Black Bowmore, from the first recorded distillery on Islay (pronounced ‘eye-la’), Scotland, and of which only 827 bottles were produced, is long gone. “We actually drank the last dram of that the morning our first grandchild Alexa was born. And that was our celebration,” DeCaro happily admits. “We decided we are never going to buy whiskey to put it aside. Whiskey is for tasting; it’s not for investment.” And indeed there is no talking to him about whiskey without being

offered a taste from his cabinet. DeCaro pours me a small Scotch to taste, a golden yellow Ardbeg. It’s from a location on the south coast of Islay, said to have once been the hideout of a gang of smugglers before its officially documented start as a distillery in 1815. “Now I want you to taste that, just sip it,” he suggests. “Taste the smokiness in there. You can almost chew it.” A sip of whiskey, breathed in at the back of the throat, offers an immersive olfactory experience, like stepping into a sauna or pulling on a fine cigar. But another, maybe surprising way to experience single malt whiskey, is to water it down. “If you really want to analyze,”

says DeCaro, “we will pour a glass and add as much distilled water as there is whiskey. If whiskey is compact, it stretches the taste out and some of the subtleties you may have missed.” The Scotch whiskey halved with water does spread the taste. The flavors present themselves almost in layers, one at a time. They have been characterized as “smoky,” but also as “salty,” or with a “medicinal bite at the finish.” Smokiness in Scotch has to do with how “peated” it is. Large parts of Scotland are covered with peat bogs, layers of decayed vegetation formed over 1,000 to 5,000 years. When dried, this forms hard briquettes similar to coal. Barley is dried over peat-reek, the smoke of burning peat, infusing a distinctive smokiness in the grain. Some whiskeys are lightly peated; the Ardbeg I’ve just tasted is heavily peated. Not all Scotches are peaty though. Malted barley and water make the simple basic ingredients of whiskey, but the final product picks up unique character and complexity in many more ways. A whiskey barrel will, for example, be charred first.

Bowmore cellar and I took a sniff. You get the earthy aroma that is in Black Bowmore. And if it’s aged by the sea, and you have the sea breezes blowing in and the light and seaweed, that gets in there too. Permeates. The barrel itself breathes. When it’s hot, it expands, when it’s cold, it contracts. And you lose some of the whiskey in that process. That’s called ‘the angel’s share.’” These fascinating complexities that vary bottle-to-bottle, year-toyear, location to location, are what DeCaro and Senior explored once a week for many years in what they call their “Wednesday Night Tastings.” “The Wednesday Night Tastings were about friendship more than anything,” says Senior. “They started in 1980, but we had been good friends since 1972. We would sit and discuss the widest possible range of ideas and topics. With two high-pressure jobs, but in unrelated fields, it gave us a chance to unwind, yet still to bounce work-related ideas off one another if we so desired.” DeCaro, who holds a doctorate in instructional technology, has taught on the faculty of Rochester Institute of Technology’s National Technical Institute for the Deaf since 1975, including as interim director and dean in the ‘90s, and interim president in the late 2000s. He has authored or co-authored dozens of academic papers, mostly in the field of deaf education.

Sample of Scotch whisky DeCaro and Senior enjoy.

But it was his tenure as visiting faculty to the University of Newcastle-upon-Tyne (Britain) in 1980 where he discovered his other great passion: Scotch. It began with a weekend trip to the Isle of Orkney, where he and a couple friends tried their first single malts. It was a Scapa, and though it was 36 years ago, a Scotch lover never forgets his or her first good Scotch.

All about aging Later on, through the process of aging, the whiskey soaks in and out of the wood. This process pulls out the taste of charcoal, or the sweetness of wood sap. It can even breathe in flavors from prior inhabitants of the barrel: a sherry, for example. “You have the cellar it’s aged in,” says DeCaro. “I walked into the

Alan Senior: “The Wednesday Night Tastings were about friendship more than anything. They started in 1980, but we had been good friends since 1972. We would sit and discuss the widest possible range of ideas and topics.” May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

“It was a new experience, for sure,” DeCaro reminisces. “I’d only had blended Scotch whiskey before. Scapa, though light, was complex. I was struck by the complexity.” After that, he was hooked. He’d drive to duty-free shops in London, Copenhagen, Sweden and Stockholm. Senior, a professor in the department of biochemistry and biophysics at the University of Rochester, was collecting as well. At the height of the collec-

55 PLUS

For Active Adults

tion, they had at least one bottle from each of the extant 129 distilleries. “We were collecting them everywhere we went,” says DeCaro. “We had all but one, and that one was held by a family — an old cask in a closed distillery. And it was $3,000 for a bottle.” “That’s a little too far,” said their wives, and the men reluctantly agreed. Scotch collecting isn’t cheap. It takes time. So if you want to get start-

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ed, it’s wise to have a partner. DeCaro and Senior were able to try and enjoy so many scotches together because they split the cost, including the fun of the travel and discovery. DeCaro, having tried nearly every bottle out there, says a Highland Park is the best all-around whiskey and a good place to start. It has a little bit of everything. “Start with a Highland, or a Macallan, which has a slightly sherry taste which people tend to like. Then move on to an Islay whiskey, not heavily peated, like Bruichladdich,” he said. You can purchase a 12-year-old Highland Park, a 12-year old Macallan, or a Bruichladdich for around $60. “I remember the first night when we moved into the new all-glass sunroom, around 1990, I think, and a full moon came up over us. What a beautiful evening, promising so many more in the future. How lucky I was to find Jim, to find such a pleasant hobby in Scotch collecting, and thus to find relaxation and repose every Wednesday night for more than 35 years.”

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55+

investing

10 Tips for Successful Investing Advisers talk about strategies for people to make the best of their investments

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

nvesting strategies for people over age 55 have to be different from when they were beginning their careers. Three area experts weighed in on how you should best invest your money if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re over 55. From Justin Stevens, vice president financial adviser at Sage Rutty & Co., Inc., Rochester.

"Be mindful of what you're investing for. Short-term expenses should be invested in shortStevens term, low-volatility asset classes, like CDs, money markets and treasuries. It shouldn't be in things that are volatile. Doing that appropriately lets you take a longer-term approach with longterm expenses. Cash flow planning is incredibly important when you're over 55 and you need your money to provide you with an income stream.

"For people around 55, you should be approaching your investments with a 30-year timeframe. Many shift towards fixed income investments, but they need your assets to grow for the rest of their lives, which could be 30 or 40 years. Retirement planning boils down to 'Is your money going to outlast you, or will you outlast your money?' You need to invest in away where your money will continue to grow for the rest of your life.

"Be mindful of costs when you're investing, what it costs you to invest, and budgeting. People who budget are much more successful than those who don't

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when it comes to retirement." From Jeff Feldman, certified financial planner and owner of Rochester Financial Services, Pittsford.

"I tell clients, don't take more risk than you have to. If you have successful Feldman retirement earning 4 percent a year, go for the allocation that achieves a 4 percent return. You could have as much as 75 percent in bond funds. Most need 6 to 7 percent rate of return to have a net 4 percent rate after inflation. Some need 7 to 8 percent, so they may need 40 to 45 percent in bond funds.

"When someone comes to you with a great business idea and want you to invest, that should raise red flags. If a bank isn't willing to lend someone money, why would you take that risk? If you don't understand investment, you probably don't want to get involved. Always ask what can go wrong.

"A Wall Street Journal article recently said trusting your gut can be the worst investment advice out there. When you read headlines and the stock market isn't doing well, your gut tells you to sell and get out, but that's when you need to stay in there. When things look great, and the headlines look optimistic, that's when you need to be careful. Stay the course with your investment allocation.

"If the market is upsetting you, you don't have to resign yourself to volatility. You can dial back the risk of your portfolio to a point so you can stand the volatility.

"If you have trouble in deciding what allocation is good for you, make one that makes you indifferent to what the market does. You have enough stocks and bonds so it doesn't affect you much. You reach an equilibrium." From Joe Votava, financial adviser and CEO, Seneca Financial Advisors LLC Rochester.

"If you have saved a lot and live modestly, you don't need to take as much risk. If you don't have Votava much saved and you spend at a good clip, your portfolio may need to be more aggressive to make more before you retire. As you approach retirement, keep three to five years of spending in the safe part of your portfolio.

10.

"A balanced portfolio might include an allocation to annuities. They're not attractive in this environment because we have low interest rates and higher fees, higher than stocks and bonds. They're not liquid. But it can provide a better income you can't outlive, which is important if you have a long life expectancy. I'd say 25 percent to a third should be in an annuity."

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Q : I'm retiring early, before full retirement age, and I receive investment income from a rental property I own. I’ve heard there’s a limit on income I can make if I retire early. Does investment income from my rental property count as earnings for Social Security purposes? A: No. We count only the wages you earn from a job or your net profit if you're self-employed. Non-work income such as annuities, investment income, interest, capital gains, and other government benefits are not counted and will not affect your Social Security benefits. Most pensions will not affect your benefits. However, your benefit may be affected by government pensions earned through work on which you did not pay Social Security tax. Q: How can I get my Social Security Statement? A: You can get your personal statement online by using your own My Social Security account. To set up or use your account to get your online statement, go to www.socialsecurity.gov/myaccount. We also mail statements to workers attaining ages 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60 and older, three months prior to their birthday, if they don’t receive Social Security benefits and don’t have a My Social Security account.

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55+

writing

Connie Herrera has written books describing fun things to do in several areas of the country, including Rochester.

Finding Fun in Rochester Author guides residents, visitors to most exciting venues in the city By Lynette M. Loomis

er mother’s statement, “I would be happy living out of a suitcase,” influenced a new career for Connie Herrera decades later. From road trips as a child to her travels to 19 foreign countries and all but five states, her love of travel grew. She thought she would like publishing and majored in publications at Simmons College in Boston. True to her dream, her first job was as an editor in the University of California, Davis Publications Office. Next was a move to Rochester to work in the private sector. She then pursued another love: marketing higher education at Monroe Community College

55 PLUS - May / June 2016

“I think people are looking for places that are delightfully surprising, not too far away, aren’t overly expensive and are accessible for those with mobility issues.” Connie Herrera. for two decades as director of marketing communications. “When I moved to Rochester,

I was expecting it to be a bit boring because I’d grown up outside New York City and lived for many years in California’s natural beauty. But I soon realized that this area combined the best of both: cultural treasures and beautiful scenery. Still, I found that most Rochesterians just didn’t appreciate all that was here. I think that’s true of most places —the world is always more exciting somewhere else. “I started collecting places to go, and decided that an hour was the most anyone really wants to spend in their car, especially with kids, so 60 miles was my limit. I had the idea for a local guide when I first moved to Rochester, but it

took 15 years to get the book finished. What held me back was that although I’m a reasonably good writer and designer, I couldn’t do either well enough to please myself,” she said. “So I decided to hire a writer, Rosanne Rivers, who was freelancing at the time, and a designer, Dona Marie Bagley, and let them set the tone and look of the book.” “I loved what they came up with. I never could have done that myself,” she added. In 2010, she launched her first guide, “60 Fun Things to Do Within 60 Miles of Rochester.” Her next book was published in 2013 and focuses on Palm Springs, Calif. “I have a sister who lives near Palm Springs, and I love the desert. It just made sense. There’s so much to do in the desert, but most people just see the golf courses and swimming pools. “I chose Buffalo as my third book because my partner, Walt, is from Buffalo, so I’ve spent a lot of time in the Queen City.” “60 Fun Things to Do Within 60 Miles of Buffalo” came out in 2014 and “60 Fun Things to Do Within 60 Miles of East Aurora” was published in 2015. A conversation with a homeschool parent gave her the idea for “60 Home-school Fieldtrips Within 60 Miles of Rochester” in 2015 and a branded edition for a client, “Miss Cynthia’s 60 Learning Adventures for Kids Around Rochester & Buffalo” was also published in 2015. Her newest book is “60 Great Places to Go With Kids Within 60 Miles of Rochester.”

Targeted demographic “I like the breadth of the ‘60 Fun Things to Do Within 60 Miles of’ books, but realized that in today’s market you need to focus on specific audiences rather than general ones,” she said. “Parents and grandparents are always looking for something to do with their kids. And if it combines fun with learning, that’s even better.” Her kids’ book includes some of the same material as the other books, such as museums and historical sites, but also adds sports, parks and spray parks, flea markets, libraries, and more nature and animal-focused attractions. Herrera decided to self-pub-

lish because she had experience in print buying and production, but admits she had no idea then how difficult it is to sell books. “I think now I should have done some more investigating to look for a publisher, but then I would have lost control and the ability to update the books every year. My biggest challenge is that my skills are not on the sales side, and that’s what you need to do. Fortunately, Wegmans and Barnes & Noble both agreed to carry the books from the start, which gave a big name behind it right away. I also had great support from local stores, like Simply New York and Eleventh Hour Gift Shop and museums like the George Eastman Museum, Susan B. Anthony House & Museum and Jello-O Gallery,” she said. “I miss the collegiality of a workplace and going in every day. But I love doing the research and visiting so many cool places, meeting the volunteers and staff, and always learning new things. I also love talking with the owners of the stores that sell my books, except that I always seem to end up spending my profits before I leave,” she added. When asked, Herrera suggests that if someone wants to start their own third stage of life business, they should begin before they actually retire. “See if you really like doing as a business something that may have been a hobby. Self-publishing is good for anyone who has ideas, and there are so many ways to sell your books or crafts or whatever you come up with. But if you want to make a lot of money, come up with a book that can be sold across the country, or around the world. It’s a much bigger audience than a locally focused book,” she noted. Some final thoughts from Herrera: “When you read my books and you’re new to the area, I want you to be astounded at your luck in moving here. If you’re here for a visit, I hope you’ll want to come back again to do more. And, if you’ve lived here all your life, I hope you’ll be surprised at how many places you haven’t yet explored and how many you want to visit again.” Note: Herrera’s books are available on Amazon, at www.60funthingstodo.com and at local bookstores, gift shops and museums.

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55+

fun things

Modified Plymouth Roadrunner Super Birds. Photo taken in 2014 at the Baytowne Car Show.

Get Revved Up for Rochester's Car Shows Region offers wide variety of car shows By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

oak up some sun and the sights of local classic cars. The area's vintage car owners will have them all shined up for your enjoyment at various car shows. Here’s a summary of the main car shows in the area: • May 22 — Apple Blossom Car & Bike Show, Williamson. In addition to arts and crafts vendors, food, live entertainment, amusement rides, enjoy the car and bike show, entertainment, amusement rides and more. Registered participants will select the top two cars and top bike for the people's choice 24

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awards. The remaining winners will be chosen by the town supervisor, Apple Blossom committee, Ladies Choice (the committee will pick 10 ladies not involved with the show), local firemen, and NYS Troopers or Wayne County Sheriffs. No rain date. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. with registration ($10 each vehicle) until 12 p.m. www.williamsonappleblossom.com. • June 12 — Street Machines of Rochester 42nd Annual Outdoor Show, Greece. More than 100 awards presented in a variety of categories. Registration 9 a.m. to noon, awards at 4 p.m. 1120

Latta Road. 585-663-0393 or 585-3031555. www.streetmachinesofrochester.com. • July 22 — 17th Annual Cruisin’ Night Classic Car Show, Geneva. Food and retail vendors, wine tasting and more. Downtown Geneva; look for the signs. 5 to 10 p.m. 315789-1776. www.genevany.com/bid/ cruisin-night. • July 22 - Car Show and Cruise Night, Newark Firefighters Family Festival, Newark. The event includes bands, rides, craft and food vendors, and (on Satur-

Get ready: At least six car shows are on schedule for the region this summer. day) fireworks. Proceeds benefit the Newark firefighters and community. Firefighters Field, 100 Barker Parkway. 315-573-3513 www.newarkcarshow.com. • Sept. 17 — Canaltown Days Annual Car Show, Palmyra. While checking out the pre-2001 cars, enjoy food, antiques, flea market, live music, crafts, 5K race, canal walks, horse-drawn wagon rides, pony rides, parade and more. Main Street. Dash plaques to the first 100 cars. Registration 9 a.m. Show 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Rain date Sept. 18. 315597-4325. kdasson@rochester.rr.com. www.palmyracanaltowndays.org/ car-show. •September TBA — Baytowne Car Show, Webster. The show offers plenty of chrome, plus raises awareness for prostate cancer. A portion of the proceeds benefit Us TOO, a local chapter of the national prostate cancer awareness organization. Check www.baytownecarshow.com for details as they become available. Make the most of the car shows you attend by calling in advance to confirm times and dates. Outdoor car

shows are usually rescheduled in case of rain. Bring along cash for admission (if applicable) and food vendors; most events are cash-only. Sunglasses and sun screen will keep you more comfortable. Bring your camera to take plenty of snapshots. Most venues don't permit dogs, so leave your furry pal at home. Take time to talk with exhibitors. Look under the hood, if it's left open, but don't touch anything. Ask questions, especially if you're considering a vintage car restoration project. Most restorers love to share their stories (every restoration offers a story!) and any tips that could make another's project easier. If you're allowed to vote for a people's choice or other award, participate in the process. Stick around to see if others agree with your choices.

A 1956 Buick Super can still be seen at certain car shows in the area. Those who enjoy vintage cars will have a variety of shows to choose from in the area.

As a service to the community, the above facilities are receiving properly packaged and contained used syringes. Please call the facility nearest you to for drop off times., accepted packaging, and other information. In conformity with the requirements of the Civil Rights Compliance Unit of New York State Department of Health, we hereby affirm that it is the policy of the above member facilities of the Genesee Health Facilities Association to admit and treat patients without regard to race, color, creed, sex, national origin, age, disability or handicap, marital status, sexual preference or sponsor (EOE).

May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

55+

love affair

1957 Chevy Bel-air Convertible

Boomers and the Love Affair with Cars Baby boomers’ favorites go from the 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air to 2016 BMW Series 6 convertible By Ken Little

merica brimmed with confidence in the 1950s, embodied in spirit by the beginnings of the Space Race with the Soviet Union. Many cars of the era were styled to reflect supersonic aircraft. Distinctive models designed by Harley Earl and others remain favorites to many Americans of a certain age. As the 1960s dawned, a new youth-oriented mindset swept popular American culture as baby boomers started to become consumers. Giant fins gave way to muscle cars and the VW Bug. Gas remained cheap, and there were plenty of roads to cruise along in beefed-up cars with powerful V-8

55 PLUS - May / June 2016

engines. What was your first car?

1950s Favorites Cars in the 1950s became lower, longer and wider. Many were designed by forward-thinking stylists like Harley Earl who were heavily influenced by the transport industry, and incorporated ideas from both trains and aircraft. Here’s a few favorites: • The 1957 Chevrolet: The Bel Air and other models, with their distinctive tailfins and dual bullet tail lights, remain popular among collectors. The car's image has been frequently used in toys, graphics, music, movies and television.

• The 1959 Cadillac is remembered for its huge sharp tailfins with dual bullet tail lights and jewel-like grille patterns and matching deck lid beauty panels. Elvis Presley’s pink Cadillac became almost as much of a cultural icon as the singer himself. • Corvette: Although many could argue the Chevrolet Corvette sports

1957 Studebaker Silver Hawk

2015 Mercedes Benz SL Roadster

1955 Ford Thunderbird car may have really come into its own in the 1960s, it began life in the 1950s and included several classic models. • The Ford Thunderbird began life in response to the Corvette. The 1955 T-bird had single, circular headlamps and tail lamps and modest tailfins. The first two-seat Thunderbirds were sleeker and more athletic in shape than later models, which became four-seaters and emphasized the car's comfort and convenience features rather than its inherent sportiness. • The Studebaker Silver Hawk was produced between 1957 and 1959 by the Studebaker Corp. of South Bend, Ind. Its low, rakish lines and stylish design caught the eye of a particular group of car enthusiasts. • Nash Metropolitan: The tiny import is still a favorite at auto shows, and was among the first “economy” cars sold by an American manufacturer. In 1954, the American Motors Corp. was formed from the merger of Nash-Kelvinator and the Hudson Motor Car Co. After the merger, Ramblers were marketed as both Nashes and Hudsons, with no visible difference between the two. The Nash and Hudson makes were continued through 1957, after which all of AMC's offerings were marketed as Ramblers. The sole exception was the imported 1958-1962 Metropolitan. • Among American auto manufacturers, Chrysler Corp. cars — like the lost and lamented DeSoto — may have best personified the excess of 1950s car styling best. The late 1950s models all featured oversized tailfins and a wealth of chrome, along with other styling features that helped Chrysler products to personify the era. Along with DeSoto, the 1950s spelled the end of many well-known

automobile makes like Hudson, Nash and Packard. Others, like the unusually styled Ford Edsel, never caught on with the public.

New Generation The 1960s gave birth to a whole new breed of cars and driver preferences that catered to a generation just coming of age. In the 1960s, many 1950s-styled cars remained popular until mid-decade. Cars still featured lavish chrome and flamboyant taillights. In the mid1960s car companies began to manufacture high-performance cars, which ultimately replaced the extravagance of the 1950s styles. Cars that remain classics include the Ford Mustang, Chevrolet Camaro and Nova, Dodge Challenger, AMC Javelin and Chevrolet Corvette, along with the distinctive VW Beetle. In the late 1960s, strange-looking compact imports with names like Datsun and Toyota began appearing on American roads, foreshadowing the future in ways few people realized.

Current Boomer Favorites

Baby boomers these days, especially those with some disposable income, have a yen for some of the more

exotic cars on the market, according to www.Forbes.com. Boomers were born between 1946 and 1964. Topping the Forbes list is the Porsche Boxter convertible. Porsche sells more than 84 percent of its Boxster sports cars to baby boomers. Next is the BMW Series 6 convertible, a speedy V8-powered car. Nearly 80 percent of all Series 6 cars are purchased by empty nesters. Also popular is the Mercedes-Benz SL two-seat roadster. About 70 percent on Mercedes’ SL roadster are sold to baby boomers. Another popular option for boomers is the Land Rover LR2 sport utility vehicle. More than 67 percent of LR2 SUVs are boomers. Listed fifth in popularity by Forbes is the Mitsubishi Eclipse Sypder sports car. Other vehicles popular among baby boomers are the Audi A5/S5 Cabriolet, the Volvo C70, the Mercedes-Benz M-Class Hybrid and Corvette. Another car on the list, the Chevrolet Aveo, is clearly popular among those boomers on a fixed income. The subcompact is not known for its power and racy lines. More than 65 percent of all Aveos are purchased by those in the baby boomer age bracket.

2016 BMW 6 Series Convertible May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

55+

volunteering

Labor of love: Group of volunteers at Friends of Webster Trails spends several Saturdays cleaning the trails, making sure they are marked correctly while performing landscaping. Typically, anywhere from 20 to 30 people give their time to help maintain the trails.

Hundreds of miles of trails throughout Webster provide a place for cycling, walking, running, cross-country skiing and snowshoeing in a natural environment away from the noise, fumes and dangers of roadways. That’s in part thanks to the Friends of Webster Trails, formed by a group of local volunteers. 28

55 PLUS - May / June 2016

Path to Recreational Prosperity By Ernst Lamothe Jr.

iles and miles of trails wind around the village and town of Webster. It is enjoyed by thousands of people each year. But many don’t realize that a decade ago, it was truly a different story. However, Hal Harris, 81, and Friends of the Webster Trails have kept the community trails vibrant and ongoing since the mid-1990s. “Hal did a lot of the legwork when it came to making sure we had a strong organization and encouraged people to take on leadership

roles,” said Shari Gnolek, president, who joined the group five years ago. “I was thinking about doing another role for the organization and he encouraged me to think about being president, and I would have never thought of it if he hadn’t felt that I could.” The organization, which builds and maintains acres of trails, advocates for the preservation of the town’s natural character and open space. Webster trails contribute to community health by providing people of all ages with

Core of the group Friends of Webster Trails in Webster. a free, attractive, safe and accessible place for exercising outdoors. “Ten years ago, there was a movement to make sure that we would have the open space we needed,” said Harris. “We knew the community needed recreational space and we got a committee involved to provide some plans and make it all happen. It is incredible to look back now and see where we are.” In the early days, Harris said it was a small band of dedicated people who took the torch for the cause. They felt a need to make sure open space wasn’t a casualty of urban sprawl.

Gnolek said every organization needs strong leadership as well as a succession plan for when leaders eventually step down. She said Harris was one of the main people who implemented a plan to make sure things would go smooth. “He cares about people and he cares about the trails,” added Gnolek. “He helped build a strong team and set a great example for all of us. He doesn’t like to take any credit and understands it was the work of many people to make it come true. But he deserves more credit than he gives himself.”

On several Saturdays, the Friends of Webster Trails and volunteers spend the day cleaning the trails, making sure they are marked correctly while performing landscaping. Typically, anywhere from 20 to 30 people give their time to help maintain the trails. “There is a large population of people who really enjoy the trails and the open space of trails,” said Gnolek, who regularly walks the trails with her family. “We have built and maintain new trails and do everything we can to make them as friendly and accessible as possible to the community.” It’s a proud moment when they finish a job and see people utilizing the numerous trails in Webster. It might not always be fun to move heavy rocks with wheelbarrows or shovel mounds of snow away from the path. However, the end results end up being worth the trouble. “It really has been a labor of love,” said Harris. “We view it as something of a responsibility to make sure the trails are high quality for everyone to enjoy. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been fun.”

Recreational paradise Hundreds of miles of trails throughout the community provide a place for cycling, walking, running, cross-country skiing and snowshoeing in a natural environment away from the noise, fumes and dangers of roadways. The group has helped build a bridge spanning Salt Creek. The long-term project opened access to the eastern 50 acres of preserve.

Hal Harris, Armand 81, (right)(left) and Friends Brothers ofand theBruce Webster Trails have kept the Schaubroeck. community trails vibrant since the mid-1990s. May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

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Rochester’s Sweetheart Mary Therese Friel is Flower City’s model of success By Amy Cavalier

atching Miss USA pageants on television with her grandmother as a young girl, Mary Therese Friel never dreamed someday that would be her. On April 30, 1979 though, she won the title, proudly carrying the crown all the way to Australia where she took sixth-place in the Miss Universe competition later that year. “Picture this 19-year-old girl from Pittsford wins Miss USA,” she said. “I was over the moon but I really had no idea what I was getting myself into.” A beauty queen and business woman, Friel’s life has been a series of incredible opportunities, serendipity and strategic decision making, anchored in a strong Catholic upbringing, a deep loyalty to her hometown and firm commitment to giving back. With the same grace, poise and dignity that helped her capture the title of Miss USA, she has built a successful career as a modeling, pageantry and

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self-development coach since 1987. “She is such a driven and focused person,” said Tom Proietti, former chairwoman of the communications-journalism program at St. John Fisher College in Rochester. “She sets goals and she goes after them. No sidetracks and no apologies.” Friel has appeared in Good Housekeeping magazine, People magazine twice and the cover of Vogue Italia. For years she has been the top coach in the nation in the Northeast in two states. Locally, she has helped coach Miss New York and Miss New Jersey titleholders through to the Miss USA pageant, including Candace Kuykendall, Miss New York Teen USA 2006 and Miss New York USA 2014. Her proudest moments though are being recognized for her commitment to being a successful entrepreneur, philanthropist and role model. In 1990, Friel received The 1000 Points of Light Award from the President

of the United States through Give 5 and the Independent Sector. In 2015, she was recognized with Causewave Community Partners (formerly the Ad Council) Chairman’s Award for volunteerism. “I want my greatest accomplishment in life to be what I do for others,” she said.

From Kodak to catwalk Friel’s modeling career began at the age of 11 with the Eastman Kodak Company. She earned enough money to purchase a brand new Camaro before she was old enough to drive it. Friel considered a number of careers before setting her sights on becoming one of the top models in the world. “If you’re going to do something that’s your passion, don’t go for it any less than 100 percent,” she said. Friel’s parents Dolores and William Friel encouraged balance — church, school, work and home life.

Mary Therese Friel photographed in March at George Eastman Museum in Rochester.

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Mary Therese Friel’s career highlights • Age 11 — Started as a Kodak model • February 1979 — Won Miss New York USA title • April 1979 — Crowned Miss USA • July 1979 — Earned a sixth-place finish in the Miss Universe competition • 1980 — Appeared on cover of Good Housekeeping magazine • 1981-1982 — Worked for Ford Models • 1981 — Appeared on cover of Italian Vogue • 1987 — Founded MTF, LLC, a modeling, pageantry and self-development coaching facility • 1990 — Awarded The 1000 Points of Light Award from the President of the United States (through Give 5 and the Independent Sector) • May 2015 — Received The Chairman’s Award from Causewave Community Partners (previously the Ad Council of Rochester) She graduated from Pittsford Sutherland High School in 1977 and began classes at St. John Fisher College in communications before transferring to the University of Miami’s pre-law program. While in Florida, Friel was approached about being in a Miss USA state pageant. However, she was homesick and couldn’t imagine representing any state but New York. Soon after she returned to Rochester and returned to St. John Fisher in January 1979. She saw a flyer on the wall at school that read, “You Can Be Miss Universe.” She took the poster off the wall and brought it home. Friel’s biggest expense was a $150 pink chiffon pageant dress she got at a bridal store in Irondequoit. She traveled to the Catskills with several other area women who had qualified for the Miss New York pageant. In February 1979, Friel was crowned Miss New York USA in the Catskills, advancing on to win the Miss USA pageant in Biloxi, Miss. in April. From there, she went on to compete for Miss Universe in Australia where she took sixth place. 32

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“She had the (St. John Fisher) campus and all of Rochester captivated,” said Proietti. “Soon it was all of America and even the eyes of the world. She was larger than life.” Being Miss USA was a 365-day-ayear job that entailed a world of celebrities, dignitaries, public appearances, speaking engagements and receptions. Friel campaigned for numerous charities around the world. As a Ford Model in New York City, she appeared on the cover of Vogue Italia and Good Housekeeping magazine, US, People, Teen Beat and Southern Living, among others. Friel was engaged to the Prince of Saudi Arabia His Royal Highness Lt. Col. Prince Khaled bin Sultan bin Abdul Aziz with whom she attended Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s wedding in 1981, and traveled the world. She found herself rubbing elbows with many celebrities such as Frank Sinatra, Mick Jagger, Cher, Elton John, Ringo Starr, Reggie Jackson, Wayne Gretzky, Mario Andretti and Andy Warhol. She dated Julio Iglesias briefly and spent time in the White House during the administration of

President Carter. “I was never star struck,” she said. “Everyone I associated with and gravitated toward was down-toearth.” Friel credits a meeting with Muhammad Ali in the early months of her reign with teaching her the importance of giving back. It’s a moment captured on film. She has the photo framed, autographed and hanging on a wall in her office as a reminder from Ali that says “service to others is the rent we pay for our room in the hereafter,” a sentiment Friel has applied to all areas in her own life, and one which she encourages her models to embrace. “I want the people who come into this agency to recognize that if they’re fortunate to become an actor or model with our agency, that it’s not just about them,” said Friel. “It’s important that they really understand the big picture. They’ve been given a gift. They have the beauty and the talent, but giving back to their community is as important as using their God-given gifts.”

Back to her roots By 1983, having traveled the world, Friel moved in with her parents who had relocated to Philadelphia where she taught at Peirce Junior College in Center City and attended Villanova University. After three years, she decided to take the skills she had gained and parlay them into her own business. “Money does not buy happiness,” she said. “I could not wait to get back to Rochester and settle down. I wanted my little house, my picket fence and my pets and to be on the land that I had bought with my earnings.” In 1987, she launched her own modeling, pageantry and self-development agency, MTF, LLC, specializing in manners and grace for teenage girls interested in modeling and pageantry. When she and her husband Kent married in 1996, he joined her in the business, helping expand the agency to include children, adults and seniors. Modeling is not just for supermodels in New York City, Paris and Milan, she said. Models come in

working with MTF, LLC for nearly 20 years. “Her work ethic has made her super successful,” Roman said. “I know 100 percent when I book her talents that they’re going to be ready and on time, and where they’re supposed to be.”

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all shapes and sizes, ages and ethnicities, and from all stages and walks of life. “It can be supplemental income for seniors or money for college for teenagers,” she said. “There’s jobs for all ages and both genders. It’s never too late to start or too early to begin.” With over 500 clients and models worldwide, Friel has built a reputation for producing top-notch talent and attracting a large client-base. The company provides placements in print, television, film, video, theater, fashion shows and more. “We have so many major corporations, big and small here, that there’s always work,” she said. “We have clients that produce work for colleges, banks, tourism, senior living, health care, textile and manufacturing, to name a few. We just got a casting call

from Steven Spielberg. “We’ve booked Disney and Nickelodeon from here. We have movies in Hollywood and all over the world and we work with agencies in New York City. We can literally base here and help our people go all over the world, because of the connections we have made.” With clients worldwide, she and Kent work 12 hour days 7 days a week, from sun up to sun down, and often times they work into the midnight hours providing their clients who are located overseas with around-the-clock support. It’s not unusual for Friel to leave a voicemail in the middle of the night regarding a project, said Heather Roman, production coordinator for Myers Creative Imaging, an advertising photography studio in Rochester which has been

In the sometimes cut-throat, high-pressure world of pageants, fashion and advertising, Friel expects her models will have their eye on the bigger picture, not just crowns and titles or the bright lights and big city. “They’ve got to be well-balanced individuals,” she said. “They have to have their priorities straight.” She describes her approach to coaching as conservative. “I want them to present themselves as ladies and gentlemen so people take them seriously,” she said. “There’s nothing wrong with reining it in a bit and being discreet. Kids don’t need to live in the world of the Kardashians. I want them to have the best of everything real so they can share that with others.” The agency does not take jobs for lingerie, bathing suits or nude modeling. Some might call her old-fashioned. Friel admits she’s not the right modeling agent for everyone. “We are very selective and very honest, so if 100 people come in here, we’re going to pick maybe 10,” she said. “We don’t want it to be a numbers game where we just take anybody. That’s another reason we’ve been very successful.” The Friels have developed a 10-step modeling, pageantry and self-development training program called, “You Can Be ... The Model You” which they use to coach anyone from a stay-at-home mom or military professional coming out of the service trying to reenter the workforce to a higher-level executive looking how to elevate themselves even further. They also coach someone attending a formal event looking for etiquette tips or advice on a new hairstyle or dress. She also does speaking engagements and presentations at area schools on self-esteem and confidence. “People are being pulled in a million different directions these days and sometimes they forget about themselves,” she said. “If you can just May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

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Mary Therese Friel and her husband and business partner, Kent. They have been married since 1996. grab hold of the idea that you matter and are important, and focus on kindness, helpfulness and respect, you can be the best you can be.” Maria Tyler reached out to MTF, LLC last year for her daughter Elana. Eleven years old at the time, Elana had developed selective mutism, and had only communicated with a select few family members since 2008 when her family moved from Brazil to America. “Her psychologist told me that

she was happy, it was just her decision not to talk until she was comfortable enough with the language to talk,” said Tyler. Elana had expressed the desire to be a model. The first time she sat down with Friel, Tyler said, to everyone’s amazement, Elana began talking. “From that moment on she began talking to everyone at school,” said Tyler. Now Elana is doing well in her studies and actively modeling with MTF, LLC. “Elana learned confidence she didn’t know she had,” said Taylor. “Mrs. Friel taught her how to present herself and how to develop into this wonderful teenager she is now. Having the guidance and positive role model in Mrs. Friel helped Elana blossom.”

From real model to role model Friel doesn’t just teach personal development, she practices what she preaches. “She’s a once-in-a-lifetime person you meet,” said Jeanne DiNardo Vito, whom Friel coached for the Miss New York USA pageant. Friel now works with Vito’s daughter Christina DiNardo, a MTF, LLC model. “She’s just got everything going for her. She’s definitely a role model for many peo-

You Can Be “Be the Best, That … You Can Be!” by Mary Therese Friel 1. ALWAYS be your self! 2. Care for others. 3. Dress for success, for the job or position you want. 4. Make your first impression your best. 5. Be a good person. 6. Be true to your word. 7. Work hard and aim high. 8. Accept your losses; you can’t win them all. 9. Be passionate about what you do and how you live your life; you only get one. 10. Give 100 percent always! For more information on MTF, LLC, visit www.mtfmodels.com/ or at www.facebook.com/MTFMODELS/ 34

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ple and she’s very well regarded in the community.” The Friels personally and business-wise support many through the agency’s annual Comfort Campaign, including Foodlink, The Pirate Toy Fund, veterans, The Open Door Mission, Willow, The Red Cross, Lollypop Farms as well as many others. Cathie Wright, senior director of development and donor relations for Lollypop Farm, said the Friels’ commitment to community and the welfare of animals is unmatched. “Their first and foremost thought is, ‘How can we help?’ and it might end up costing them money to do so, but it’s the right thing to do,” said Wright. “It does help promote their business, but it really comes from the heart. They do it because it makes them feel good and it’s a really nice way to give back.” Friel’s agency models and actors provide pro-bono work for Causewave Community Partners’ nonprofit advertising campaigns and community initiatives, including “Every Minute in School Matters,” “211,” “Distracted Driving,” “Pass Life On” and “Help a Caregiver.” President and CEO of Causewave Community Partners Todd Butler said Friel is a real partner in the advertising industry, giving local talent the opportunity to develop skills and giving local advertising professionals the opportunity to have access to top national caliber talent. “Mary Therese is just the consummate professional and she inspires that in the people she works with,” he said. “It’s truly remarkable the seriousness with which she takes these volunteer projects on. Her commitment to her work in her field really adds up to her being an instrumental partner who we couldn’t do our work without.” When she and Kent married, he helped her to expand the agency in all ways. The two renew their vows every year. Kent actually took Friel’s last name since she had already established a business and successful career based on hers, and he said it was important to him that they have the same name. “I pretty much see myself as one

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Friel during the early1980s when she worked for Ford Models. of the luckiest people on the planet being married to her and getting to spend so much time with her,” he said. Between working together at MTF, LLC and caring for their 12-acre farm in Mendon, the two are rarely separated. “We’re two people with different mindsets, but it never gets in the way of working together,” said Kent. “When you work together as a couple, you still have to respect and value the other person’s opinion and viewpoint, maybe even more than your own.” At home, she and Kent are up with the sun, ready to greet the day. They work out in their home gym and focus on a balanced diet. “We’re just very focused as a couple and don’t do extremes,” she said. “Kent and I are very complex people but we live a simplistic life by staying focused on keeping our priorities straight.” The couple owns three rescue horses, two dogs, five cats and two fish and is very involved in St. Louis Church in Pittsford. “I think that my Catholic upbringing really kept me grounded as I jetsetted around the world as a 20year old,” she said. “I had something stronger keeping me balanced.”

It also was that moral compass that helped her make some major decisions in life. In 1989, she turned down an opportunity to be groomed and considered for Barbara Walters’ apprentice, a childhood dream of hers, and 10 years later, she was offered $10 million to franchise her agency in 10 different cities. “I couldn’t imagine leaving everything I had just created,” she said. “I have people depending on me. I don’t feel like I gave up anything because my business is turning 30 years old right now and I look forward to it reaching 50.” The agency recently moved to 20-102 Assembly Drive, also in Mendon. At 57 and looking back at being crowned Miss USA and traveling the world as a Ford Model, Friel said it pales in comparison to all she’s learned and accomplished since. “What you gain from the aging process is so much more understanding, patience, kindness and gratitude,” said Friel, who graduated from St. John Fisher in 2004 with a degree in communications and business. “We’re on this earth to make the best of every moment and the best of ourselves. We’re ever evolving and ever-changing and it’s important to have an open heart and mind.”

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Crafting a Career Lynn Duggan at heart of Nazareth College’s studio art program By Lynette M. Loomis

here was little art in the childhood home of Lynn Duggan and no family trips to a gallery or art museum. So what prompted this artist to pursue her career spanning more than four decades? “My best friend’s mother gave me my first set of acryclic paints and a canvas. I was intrigued to say the least. I think growing up in a rural suburb in Kentucky also influenced me. My four brothers and I played outside all the time. We hiked, dug up animal skeletons and the occasional fossil. We cherished every bird nest we carried home. In middle school, I wanted to be an archeologist. That

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changed. In high school, much to my academic counselor’s dismay, I took art classes rather than physics and pursued painting in my early college years,” explains Duggan. These combined experiences prompted Duggan to take not only painting classes but also courses in microbiology, botany and astronomy. A need to fill another slot in her college schedule led to her to take a studio class working with metals. “Up to that point, I had not taken any classes working in three-dimensional mediums. I was enthralled. In fact, because I complained so frequently about the difficulty in securing as much studio time as I wanted, the professor gave me

a key to the studio,” she said. She received her Bachelor of Arts degree in creative arts from Purdue University and her Master of Fine Arts in jewelry and metalsmithing from Washington University. Duggan has been a professor of art at Nazareth College in Rochester, where she has taught jewelry and metalsmithing, for close to 38 years. Professor and chairperson Ron Netsky, director of the studio art program in art, has worked with Duggan during her tenure at Nazareth. “She has never wavered in her energy level or her excitement about art. That has made her a great teacher because students have responded to that kind of enthusiasm,” he said.

Lynn Duggan is planning to retire this May. “My husband and I both love to travel and I am looking forward to more trips to Italy.” People often ask Duggan what has kept her at Nazareth for so many years and she says there are a variety of factors. “It is the perfect size for collaboration between all disciplines. As a small liberal arts school, the cross fertilization and the dialogue has been incredible. I have learned from, and made friends with, people from different departments, with unique points of view and varying personal and professional experiences. In larger schools, even a single department can possess a silo mentality and become territorial. It has never been this way at Nazareth,” she said. Her colleagues echo her sentiments about the esprit de corps in their department. Mitchell Messina, professor at Nazareth, states, “Her involvement in the art department at Nazareth and her positive impact on the lives of students and faculty is undeniable. She has and always will be a role model, mentor, and inspiration for me. Lynn is genuine, concrete and real. She is the one person that I go to when I need a critical eye on a piece that I am working on. Her feedback is never superficial, but thoughtful and searching.” As any professor will tell you, there is pressure to publish or create depending upon the discipline. Duggan admits it wasn’t always easy to teach, be married with three sons, and still make time to create. “A great nanny, Aunt Julie, helped us find some balance to our lives. Also, I have always found working with the torch, my favorite tool, and shaping metal to be relaxing and calming. It puts me in a tranquil state of mind. Filing? Not so much,” she laughs. “I hate filing.”

Global appeal Duggan’s work has been featured locally and nationally and she has been a visiting professor for the University of Georgia Stud-

“Plaything” is a tongue-in-cheek pull toy made of brass, copper, silver, wood and other objects. Duggan says it addresses the relegation of women to the domestic sphere. This “ideal woman” cooks, cleans, serves and services, she says. ies Abroad Program in Cortona, Italy. Nazareth acknowledged her work with an excellence in teaching award. She was awarded two New York Foundation for the Arts fellowships and did an artist residency at JentelArts in Wyoming. Duggan said inspiration may come from any place or any person. Louise Bourgeois, a Frenchborn artist considered a female pioneer in three-dimensional art symbolizing the feminine psyche, beauty, and psychological pain, heavily influenced Duggan. “I think every experience has the potential to influence one’s work. Certainly my childhood experiences playing outside — exploring in the woods, catching crawdads in the creek — taught me about the cycle of life and death in nature. Perhaps that is why bone imagery finds its way into much of my work,” she said. “My father, a mechanical engineer, always puttered. He eventually transformed broken glass into what was leaded glass works of art, although he never intended these to be seen by anyone and he would not have considered them to be art. They were. We used old-fashioned

blowtorches (blow pipes and alcohol lamps) together and shared tools. His joy was working with his hands and I share that sentiment,” Duggan said. “My older brother also is an artist. In terms of strong female role models in my family, my mother went to school for chemistry at a time when that was not a typical path for a women. My aunt was a WAC in World War II, also not a traditional career choice for women.” According to Netsky, Duggan’s work has steadily evolved over her tenure at Nazareth. “Lynn is not only a master craftsperson, she is a highly conceptual artist. Her metal work often combines the seductiveness of traditional materials — like silver, gold and jewels — with subversive, hard-hitting messages,” he said. Messina adds, “As an artist, Lynn continues questioning what she knows and is comfortable with. She pushes herself to extend the boundaries of her materials and always strives to elevate them in fresh new ways.” Although retiring from Nazareth in May, Duggan is not retiring from her art. “I loved teaching, was stimulated by my colleagues and greatly enjoyed my students. That said, I am looking forward to having more discretionary time. I have a studio in our home so it will be a treat to have more time to create. I love films, am an avid reader and play tennis. My husband and I both love to travel and I am looking forward to more trips to Italy. I am moderately fluent in Italian, speak a bit of French and am looking forward to learning Chinese,” she said. “There are some issues around which I am passionate. I am deeply touched by the discrimination and oppression faced by so many people. It is essential that everyone finds a place where they are respected and they can respect themselves. Everyone deserves to be valued. In retirement, I will volunteer my time where I can make some small impact,” she added. Many retirees wonder about taking up a new hobby or pursuing a passion left dormant while working and raising families. Duggan’s advice? “Try it! If I can take Chinese, you can try something new and enjoy it too,” she said. May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

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Taking the Lead

From playing field to game of life, Linda Berner Adams shows true leadership By Deborah Blackwell

here was a time when school sports teams only consisted of boys. Not only did Linda Berner Adams help change that, she also changed the lives of generations of girls to come. From her days teaching health and physical education in the East Irondequoit Central School District, to creating and coaching team sports for girls, to top-ranking wins in New York state, to h e r

Linda Berner Adams, 69, of Rochester, for more than 30 years taught, coached and mentored girls in physical education and team sports, after instituting teams for girls at Eastridge High School in Irondequoit. Adams never missed a season of coaching field hockey. Photo was taken during the spring 2015 38

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induction into The College at Brockport: State University of New York’s Athletic Hall of Fame, Adams epitomizes leadership. “In the beginning there were no girls’ teams or leagues, and I found myself loving teaching and coaching so much I started my own girls’ team sports,” said Adams, 69, of Rochester. “Back then you called a friend, you were your own official, you found your own team, and were at the mercy of a

field. There was no pay.” Adams was familiar with the gap in women’s sports from an early age when she longed for a chance to play on a team for fun while growing up in Buffalo. Although she thought she would eventually become a veterinarian or pediatrician, her natural love of sports was revealed while studying health and physical education at The College at Brockport. She graduated in 1968 with a degree in teaching then acquired a master’s degree in physical education from Brockport in 1991. “When you are trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, you might end up in something in an odd way,” said Adams. “Growing up, there were no opportunities for women to play sports in school. But in college, I was finally able to be on a real team for women, with coaches, uniforms, games and officials. That changed a lot for me.” Her ability to participate at Brockport set Adams on a mission after college for girls to experience what it feels like to participate on a viable team. During her years teaching at Eastridge High School in Irondequoit, she helped form girls’ teams for several sports including softball, basketball, lacrosse and field hockey. Field hockey eventually became her main focus, bringing her team to win 10 league championships, nine Section V championships and five regional championships, making field hockey the most successful team in Eastridge High School history. But it wasn’t just winning

that was her focus. Adams wanted to bring many things to the forefront for both students and parents, including life skills learned when playing a team sport — confidence, self-value, understanding, respect, determination, dedication, community, unity — just to name a few.

Praise for mentor Adrianna McNally of Fairport recalls Adam’s lessons in character and sportsmanship as applicable to daily life, such as leading by example, working hard, earning respect and being proud. McNally, Eastridge Class of 1988, went on to coach with Adams and teach physical education in the Irondequoit school district. Many of Adams’ former students continue to be part of her life. “Linda Adams was my field hockey coach from seventh to 12th grade, as well as someone who remains a trusted friend and mentor to me to this day,” said Shanon Luongo, of Rochester, Eastridge High School Class of 1995. “It’s difficult for me to sum up how I feel about her in only a few words or thoughts. The feelings I have about how she impacted my life are profound.” Adams’ commitment to excellence in teaching students that they are valuable as a person and not just as a team member stayed strong from the classroom to the field. Her goal was to present information so that everyone would feel good about participating. She said she might alter the rules a bit during class or practice so that everyone would be included and then discover they are able to be part of the whole, and can work together despite differences in abilities. This was especially important when physical education classes became co-ed. Adams quickly learned to work both with and around the new protocol. “We had different levels during classes — recreational or competitive. For anybody who never played anything before, I tried to make it simple enough so that it falls into place. If we could convince them to play, we would try to help them catch on with the basic skills so they would want to do it,” said Adams. “When I caught them doing something right, I encouraged them. Kids don’t have that happen as often as they should which is what helps them feel more com-

Adams is pictured with the first Eastridge High School varsity field hockey team in the fall of 1970 in Irondequoit. Adams taught physical education and both instituted and coached girls sports teams there. She was inducted into The College at Brockport State University of New York's Athletic Hall of Fame in 1993. fortable and build confidence. That’s when they feel safe, and feel like this is something worth hanging in for.”

More than just a coach Adams maintained her supportive philosophy throughout her entire career, even when she stopped teaching for brief periods when she had her children. Although she was on leaves of absence, she continued to coach. She brought her children with her to practices and games. One of her field hockey players, Kyle Shakow Smith, Eastridge High School Class of 1996, loved Adams so much that she convinced her mother to babysit Adams’ son so that Adams could coach her team. That not only inspired Adams to continue coaching but it showed her female players that their roles in life can be diverse. That message was so strong for Smith, she went on after college to become Adams’ junior varsity field hockey assistant coach for 20 years. When Smith’s daughter was old enough to play field hockey, she not only coached her field hockey team at Webster Thomas High School in Webster, but became the school’s varsity field hockey coach to this day. Smith’s team made it to New York state’s Final Four championship in 2014. “Linda was my gym teacher in ninth grade, and the girls’ basketball coach. I did not think I was good enough to try out, but Linda called me at home and encouraged me, which changed my life,” said Smith. “She was an inspiration, great mentor

and positive influence in my life. She is an icon in the sport of field hockey. I continue to coach going on 30 years, and still do all the drills she taught me, motivate the way she taught me and coach saying the same things that she used to say. Needless to say, she made a lasting impression on me.” The words of Luongo and Smith echo those of the hundreds of women who Adams influenced, as a coach, mentor, role model and friend for more than 30 years. Her impact changed the face of team sports and athletics for women from the junior high school level and beyond in the Rochester area, eventually earning her induction into The College at Brockport’s Athletic Hall of Fame in 1993. The accolade comes from her impressive record of field hockey wins over 23 years including many county and division titles, numerous coaching awards and two bronze medals in Empire State Games. She also served on the panel at the Genesee Valley Sports Medicine Symposium, coached more than 30 players who continued athletic careers in college, and maintains a reputation as an outstanding instructor and excellent role model for students. “I have lived through it all, as have all of my teams. My vantage point is almost 50 years. Sports have changed, equipment, expectations, even parents,” said Adams. “It’s about working together for a common goal, and helping kids achieve things they never thought were possible.” May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

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sports

Crazy About Bowling The sport is a serious game for some in the Rochester area By Ernst Lamothe Jr.

or Alberta Wambold, a lifelong passion all started out because of friends and boredom. Growing up in the small Livingston County town of Mt. Morris, there wasn’t much to do. Soon a few friends and her parents, invited her to bowling in elementary school and a new interest sprung up that has lasted for more than six decades. “In the beginning when it came to sports, there wasn’t a lot of options for young girls,” said Wambold, 68. “I’m so glad I got into it because not only do I love the game, but I have met life long friends that have kept me active in bowling. The Rochester area hosts several of the biggest senior leagues in the region. First, the Rochester United States Bowling Congress Association has a league on Mondays at noon. About 30 teams of five men each

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compete at AMF Empire Lanes, 2400 Empire Blvd., in Webster. Bowlers in the league run from 50 to 101 years age. On Tuesday at AMF Terrace Garden Lanes, 1151 Ridgeway Ave., there is a senior league competing as well It includes about 30 teams of three men in each team. The league includes a number of Rochester Hall of Fame bowlers. “Sometimes golf can be hard on your knees and back and overall joints,” said Joe Robbins, 74, a retired Democrat and Chronicle copy editor. “If that happens, there is nothing better than bowling to keep the juices of competition flowing. Some bowlers just take one step and then throw the ball and that saves on their legs.” When Robbins retired, he wanted to get involved in something in the community. Enter his new favorite passion.

“There are quite a few people who are outstanding in their senior age,” said Robbins. “Plus bowling is something that doesn’t take up too much time. When my wife jokingly calls herself a bowling widow, I tell her that I am only gone for a couple of hours. If I was golfing, I would be gone all day.” Wambold, who never got into golfing, bowls three times a week. She enjoys the competitive juices that flow as she still has a 200 average, which is great at any age. She marvels at how a game that she used as just fun has now morphed into something so much larger. “You have bowling being on national sports channels now. Plus you have kids, both boys and girls, who can get college scholarships for bowling and further their education. It is so incredible,” adds Wambold, who is

a member of the Rochester and New York state bowling hall of fames. Bowling has taken her to national tournaments in Las Vegas and other areas as well as winning her medals for her performance. “I would tell people of all ages, but especially seniors, that bowling is something that you should get into immediately,” said Wambold. “It’s been one of the best things in my life.” Maury May, 72, has been bowling since the eighth grade. He was off and on until after he got into college. Similar to Wambold, a friend of his got him interested. In his older age, he finds it clears his mind and keeps him in active shape. Exercise is great for the health of everyone, including senior citizens. Seniors who exercise regularly will see many benefits. For one, regular exercise can help seniors keep doing the activities they enjoy as they age. Active seniors are protected from many chronic diseases like arthritis, heart disease and diabetes. Even those who already have these diseases can benefit from exercise, according to the National Institutes of Health. Physical activity also helps build balance which helps prevent falls. There are also mental health benefits for seniors who are physically fit, as exercise helps reduce stress. Exercising doesn’t have to be a chore — it can be fun. Seniors can sign up for dance classes, yoga, tai chi, water aerobics,

or even pick up gardening to spice up their exercise routine. “When you get older, you often don’t have the energy you had years ago,” said May, of Rochester. “You need to do things that keep you active and this is a great form of exercise. Anything that keeps your body moving is a good thing.” Joe Robbins of Rochester also points to the competitiveness and camaraderie. They often cheer for various NFL teams so the next day when they bowl on Mondays, they joke and make fun of the teams that lose. For these players, bowling is a combination of good conversation, fun and just enjoying life. “Don’t be surprised if you hear some trash talking from just seniors,” added Robbins. “But you will also hear military guys talk about their war stories or people talk about their families. We all have common experiences. It really is a close group when you see each other every week and battle year after year. And you don’t always mind losing to a friend.” Jack Curran, 93, of Gates, typically bowls on Tuesday, on a league filled with more than 100 seniors, including 21 hall of famers. Being one of the oldest men in the league doesn’t keep him from still being impressive on a bowling lane. On his league many senior bowlers easily surpass 190. “This is something I have been doing since I was little and I continue

Diane Stepneski and Alberta Wambold display the silver medals they earned during the National Senior Games in Cleveland in 2013. “I would tell people of all ages, but especially seniors, that bowling is something that you should get into immediately. It’s been one of the best things in my life,” says Wambold. to love it,” said Curran. “I enjoy going to senior tournaments, talking with the guys and just plain bowling. You really do miss it when you are not doing it and I refuse to just sit down and watch television in my older age.”

Some of the local avid bowlers include from left, front row. Ray Bardol, Al Brant, Dom Quinzi, Jack Curran, Joe Argento. In the back row from left are Charlie Gfeller, Ken McJury, Joe Shullek, Steve Nowicki, Al Emerson, Joe Robbins. May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

addyman’s corner By John Addyman

Last Daughter Getting Married ‘When you’re the father of the bride for a third time, you get some perspective on weddings’

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n May, I am marrying off the last of my three daughters. It’s a day that’s been a long time coming. Elisabeth is my middle daughter. She had to kiss a couple of frogs before she found her prince, but her guy, Jeff, is a keeper. He’s kind, very hard-working, a guy’s guy who will do a great job raising Elisabeth’s son — and my wife and I like having Jeff around. All good. I guess I’m lucky. All my daughters have brought home at least one boy who, when he left the house, I put my forehead on the door and said, “ L o r d , please not that kid.” We like a l l our

sons-in-law; no, that’s not fair — we love all our sons-in-law. They’ll all be lined up together somewhere at Elisabeth’s wedding, and they’ll spend time at our house over the weekend. Should be fun. The wedding has been in the planning stages for more than a year, and is now the center of every discussion in our household. When you’re the father of the bride for a third time, you get some perspective on weddings. For one thing, you can have a whole lot of fun at a wedding. You get to see old friends, you meet people from the new side of the family, and people are looking forward to seeing you glow a little. Alcohol helps. But what really makes me happy is the sight of my beautiful daughter as the center of attention, and deservedly so. And I get my moment at each wedding, the thing I remember most, when I dance with the bride. I’ve danced with the girls since they were little. When they were babies up late at night, I’d hold them and rock them to something playing on the radio. Amy was a sucker for Barry Manilow, for instance. If she was having a fitful night, we played some Barry Manilow and she was asleep instantly. Mary Kate, our youngest, liked folk music. Elisabeth broke the mold and loves country. From the time the girls could walk, we took time to dance. Not always often, but always a special moment. So, each of my girls has taken a little different approach to our wedding-day dance. Amy, our first to get married, grew up listening to all of my Beach Boys and surf music records. One song she really latched

onto was “Beach Baby” by a British studio band, the First Class. The record was a hit before Amy was born, but she heard it so many times on my turntable, she fell in love with it and it was a song we both loved and could play over and over. Before her wedding day, she and I practiced dancing to that song…then I got in a motorcycle accident and had to dance with her with a cast (colored to blend in with my tux) on my arm. It was still great. Mary Kate, on her wedding day, cued up something special for me. My dad was a huge Glenn Miller fan, and I have expanded his collection of big band records. She chose “String of Pearls” for our song. Somewhere in heaven, my dad smiled. It was a magic moment for me, courtesy of a very loving daughter. Elisabeth and I didn’t dance together as much — she was always too busy running around getting into mischief. So she asked me to make a suggestion about the music for our dance. I recommended “What a Wonderful World” sung by Stacey Kent. It’s slow, we could dance and have a nice talk through it, and there are nice messages in the lyrics. The life ahead of her looks wonderful. She had other ideas. That’s fine. It’s her wedding. We’ll have fun. I just hope she doesn’t choose the hokey-pokey. The other major thing I learned about weddings is that there will be a moment, a glance, a change in posture, a smile…something…that will let me know my daughter has finally stepped away from me and is now in the care of another man who loves her almost as much as I do. With Amy, it was the sight of her waiting, all alone for the moment, for the last people to be seated before I walked her down the aisle. She gave me a look and a smile that still gives me pause more than a decade later. For Mary Kate, it was the exit from the wedding venue with her husband, with all of the guests forming a gauntlet with sparklers in our hands. Magical. Elisabeth will have one of those moments, I’m sure. And then she’ll be gone, with a new last name. And if I’m lucky, the new couple will get busy making grandsons for me to play with…and granddaughters for me to dance with.

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May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

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surgery

Looking Your Best at Any Age Advances in skincare products bring more choices to look good By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

veryone wants to look his best. Thanks to today's advances in skincare, local practitioners can help anyone improve his appearance. Twenty years ago, few options were available to help. Many topical treatments provided little, if any, noticeable improvement. The only other options were surgical, which offer effectiveness, but also increase the risk and expense. Now, practitioners and their clients have more choices. Most agree that great looking skin starts with the most basic steps of home care. For those showing signs of aging, it may seem too late to worry about sun screen; however, "introducing sun screen at any age will help your skin and make a huge difference in the quality of your skin," said Shari Cardinale Bruzee, the owner of Dermatechnologies in Geneva. She is a licensed cosmetologist, certified medical esthetician and certified laser technician. She said that many of her clients who are 55 and older feel that it's too much trouble to use skin care products. "You don't have to spend three hours getting ready though," she said. Cardinale Bruzee tells clients that simply using daily a good moisturizer, cleanser, and exfoliating product represent a solid regimen to help skin of any age look healthier, along with eschewing chemical-laden make-up in favor of natural, mineral-based products. "The moisturizer should be SPF 30 and no less," Cardinale Bruzee

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said. Sun screen products should contain titanium dioxide and/or zinc oxide for maximum effectiveness. Beyond regular home care, she said advises clients to address any skin issues that bother them. Most clients list fine lines and wrinkles, sagging and dark spots. Retinol and retin-A have become popular for promoting the turnover of cells and the emergence of brighter, younger-looking skin. Cardinale Bruzee prefers retinol over retin-A for its gentleness. Both

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derive from vitamin A; however, retinol "will, long-term, give you the same results as the retin-A without the redness and dryness." She also recommends dermal rolling as a home care modality for tightening skin. She said that it's a manual tool that helps skin produce more collagen without using products. "Over the course of a year, someone will look quite a bit younger after using it," Cardinale Bruzee said. If these methods don't deliver the results clients want, she offers tightening through using peels, facials,

After

Courtesy Helendale Dermatology and Medical Spa.

Selling Your Business and Protecting Your Employees By Lian Gravelle, Esq.

W Before

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Courtesy Helendale Dermatology and Medical Spa. laser treatments and microderm abrasion to stimulate cell turnover. Some clients want a particular spot lightened, for example; others opt for quarterly maintenance to keep their skin tighter, lighten dark circles, lessen the appearance of broken capillaries. Cardinale Bruzee felt surprise as a laser peel tightened her jowl and neck area, which becomes â&#x20AC;&#x153;a big target area" for people 55 and over, she said. Laser treatments require no recovery time, and "no one will know you did it," Cardinale Bruzee said. "You'll have two days where you'll be a little red, and then a very faint micro peeling. You could completely hide it with mineral make-up. It helps to heal the skin after treatment, too." Elizabeth Arthur, board-certified dermatologist and owner of Helendale Dermatology and Medical Spa in Rochester, said that aestheticians pay attention to lost volume in the aging face as well as lines. Facelifts alone only tighten skin. "Sometimes you do have to pull skin, but tight skin doesn't often make you look younger," Arthur said. "It's just tight, old skin. Even after patients do a facelift, we still have to revitalize them."

Arthur explained as one ages, the face loses volume and sags down to the chin. Fillers can help balance the face, lift some sagginess, while retaining its softness. "Nationally, the demand for facelifts is way down," Arthur said. "It's so invasive and expensive. People don't just want to look tight. They understand that what makes their face look older and what's happened." The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery reported 126,713 facelifts performed nationally in 2014, up from 99,196 facelifts in 1997. The growth isn't as impressive when comparing the number of non-surgical cosmetic procedures, which grew by 508 percent, to only 82 percent growth among all surgical cosmetic procedures. Combining Botox treatments with injected filler can offer non-permanent results, but Arthur said that's what many clients want. Facelifts, though permanent, have scared some people as they see photos of celebrities' procedures gone wrong. "People want to look better, not different," Arthur said. The invasive nature of facelifts, along with the expense, also steer clients toward non-surgical procedures.

hen a business owner begins examining his or her options for exiting the company, the potential for the company to close its current location and displace the employees can cause distress. An employee stock ownership plan, or ESOP, offers a succession plan to address the impact on a companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s employees. In fact, for many ESOP companies, a similar story emerges. It begins with an owner who can speak to any of his employees about their children and their hobbies. These owners share a conviction that their business and personal success would not be possible without the employees who helped build the company, sometimes even from the first day of operation. For these owners, the ESOP was the correct mechanism to transition ownership of the company. Instead of dismantling the company, the owner can transition the day-today operations of the company to his chosen management team and reward his employees at the same time. Successful ESOP companies in the Rochester area thrive with groomed second generation management teams and experience less turnover than their competitors. These ESOP-owned companies are expanding and hiring more employees instead of dissolving or moving and laying off employees after the original owner of the company retired. An ESOP is not the right exit strategy for all business owners. But you need to consider all of your options to reward your loyal employees as you develop the exit and succession plan that is best for you. Lian Gravelle, Esq., is an ESOP compliance counsel who works at ESOP PlusÂŽ: Schatz Brown Glassman LLP in Rochester. Visit www.esopplus.com or email lgravelle@esopplus.com. May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

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education

Brad Freeman of Rochester says he enjoys classes he takes at Monroe Community College through the SUNY Senior Citizen Auditor program. He is in his 12th semester at the program. The program is attended by an average of 80 people in the fall, about 60 in the spring and about 10 in the summer.

Back to School

The 60-plus crowd finds its way back to the classroom through MCC senior citizen auditor program By Jessica Gaspar

itting in a college classroom as a student when you’ve got nearly 40 years on your youngest peer can be intimidating – but, Brad Freeman of Rochester has two words: Challenge accepted. Freeman grabbed his figurative pencil and notebook to head back to the classroom in the fall of 2008 after retiring from Xerox. Now in his 12th semester at Monroe Community College, Freeman can do quite a few things he could never do before — design a website and speak French top that list. 46

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Will he really need to parler Français any time soon, you ask? Absolutely. Perhaps the next time he visits his son in New Brunswick, Canada, where the locals are bilingual, or when he goes skiing in Québec, or maybe on that trip to Paris he’s planning. “I’m having an amazing time,” Freeman said of his time at MCC. But the best class he’s taken so far is an English class on writing from his own personal life experiences, which he completed this past fall. The last English course he took was his fresh-

man year of college in 1970. “Now, I’m taking this, and it’s just been like ‘Wow!’,” he said. After receiving his bachelor’s degree from Washington University in St. Louis, Freeman went on to complete his master’s degree from Villanova University, and completed some courses at the University of Pennsylvania. After decades in the workforce, Freeman retired from cubicle work at Xerox. He is now one of many folks who have taken college courses through the State University of New York’s Se-

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Senior Apartments Villas for Lease • Patio Homes For Sale nior Citizen Auditor program. Many two- and four-year SUNY schools offer the program to anyone 60 years and older. The best part? The courses are free of charge. Senior auditors do not have to pay tuition fees, but must pay for textbooks and course material as well as parking permit fees. The only drawback is senior auditors have to wait to register for courses behind paying students. By the time those students have registered, a space may not be open, so the senior auditor will have to wait until another semester to take that course. Freeman recommends senior auditors keep a running list of interesting courses they may pull from in case their first choice is full. The auditor can then just work down the list until he or she finds an available course. While senior auditors don’t receive grades for their coursework, they walk away with the same tools and knowledge any other student would. Initially, Freeman paid out-ofpocket for the courses he took since he wasn’t yet 60 years old. Once he

hit the milestone birthday, he enrolled in the program, which he dubs New York State’s best-kept secret. “MCC is a fabulous resource. This program is a fabulous resource,” he said. “I’ve had better experiences here than at Ivy League schools.” Another jewel Freeman has found in the classroom: the diverse student population. He’s met a fair share of military vets, folks from all over the world including a woman from Haiti whom he spoke to in French, and people whose jobs were downsized by the recession. “MCC is the most diverse place I’ve found in Rochester,” Freeman said. “You’ll see people from all over the world. It’s also diverse in age.” The senior auditor program has been offered at MCC for more than 30 years, according to Cynthia Cooper, spokesperson for the college. “I can say, for MCC, the program further diversifies our classrooms with students with extensive life experience. For the auditors, the senior audit program provides an affordable opportunity for continued learning,”

she said. Joyce Henzel, a fellow senior auditor, couldn’t agree more. “I especially liked being around the youthful energy of the students,” she said. Henzel began auditing classes at MCC in 2005 when she was 63 years young. In her first semester, she took a course in advanced French cinema. “I was a French major at Georgetown University, and [the class] was very stimulating for me,” she said. She also enrolled in a Piano 101 course – a class she took two more times after that first semester, “In fall 2005, I had never played an instrument, didn't know where middle C was on the piano, and could not read music, so I learned a lot.” Learning doesn’t have to stop just because age happens. Retirement opened that door for many folks like Joyce and Freeman. “Learning is just part of who I am,” Freeman said. “This has been a better impact on my mental health than anything else.” May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

long-term care By Susan Suben

There’s No Place Like Home

wo of my clients are experiencing dramatic changes in their health. Tom, who just turned 86 and has been dealing with arthritis, can no longer walk up the stairs to his bedroom. He finds it difficult to prepare his meals, clean his house and take a shower by himself. Carol, who is 82, has COPD and relies on the use of oxygen, needs help with her household chores as well as assistance dressing, bathing and transferring due to shortness of breath. Both have children who live in other states and both are adamant about wanting to stay at home for as long as possible. As we age, the likelihood that we will need help with our activities of daily living (ADLs) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs) increases. ADLs include bathing, dressing, toileting, continence, transferring and mobility. IADLs include cleaning, shopping, driving and medication management. Losing the ability to perform ADLs and IADLs means you are losing the ability to remain independent and safe at home. It also means having to transfer these responsibilities to others. There are many resources in the community that can help postpone the need to give up independence and quality of life as one ages and experiences a decline in health. These resources can be companion care, licensed/certified home health care or adult day care. They can help supplement care provided by family members or friends and provide peace of mind to loved ones who live far away. The amount of services received is dependent on the assistance that is needed as well as what is financially affordable. 48

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Companion care is non-medical, non-licensed care. A companion is not permitted to provide handson assistance. The goal is to increase quality of life and limit depression and cognitive decline through conversation and companionship as stated by Comfort Keepers, a nationally recognized companion care agency. Companion care services include but are not limited to meal preparation, laundry, light housekeeping, grocery shopping/errands, incidental transportation, medication reminders and grooming guidance. Companion care is meant to keep you socially, mentally and emotionally engaged, thereby helping to promote a positive attitude, sense of well-being and security. Companion care has been shown to be a valuable service when transitioning from a hospital stay to home. Studies have shown that proper support can hasten recovery and prevent readmission. The average cost for companion care is $22/hour with generally a minimum of four hours per visit. Agencies accept clients who are private-pay or have private insurance. A licensed home care service agency (LHCSA)) is not certified under Medicare. These agencies can provide skilled nursing care, home health aides, personal care aides and homemakers. The care can be handson for ADLs and medication management. Nurses can perform medical procedures as well as provide various therapies. A certified home health agency (CHHA) is Medicare approved to provide part-time, intermittent health care services to individuals who need skilled nursing care/therapies and are homebound. Medicare certification means that the agency has met certain federal guidelines regarding

patient care. Medicare will only pay for skilled care for a limited number of days and hours per week. Once you no longer need skilled care, Medicare will discontinue services. Both LHCSAs and CHHAs charge approximately $25-30/hour. Adult day care helps individuals stay at home by providing up to eight hours care per day. This is especially valuable for spouses or family members who are primary caregivers and perhaps still working or need respite from caregiving responsibilities. There are centers that specialize in Alzheimer’s/dementia care. Meals are provided and participants can engage in activities meant to promote socialization and mental stimulation. The cost averages $80+ per day. Tom and Carol, along with their children, coordinated care plans that utilize some of the services described above. Tom has a companion twice a week to make sure the house is clean and safe. She takes him to the supermarket and helps prepare meals. A home health aide comes in three times per week to help him bathe and manage his medications. Two days per week he goes to an adult day care center. A bed has been setup for him in his living room and the bathroom has been modified to help him shower more easily. His children stay in touch with each service to make sure their dad’s needs are being met. Carol has a home health aide come in every day to help with her ADLs. A companion comes in twice a week to do grocery shopping, prepare meals and do household chores. To supplement this care, her family was fortunate to find a neighbor who spends time with Carol each day. Staying home is everyone’s desire when dealing with an illness or the effects of aging. Know that there are services available so that you can remain safe, comfortable and most importantly happier in your own home. Susan Suben, MS, CSA, is President of Long Term Care Associates, Inc. and Elder Care Planning. She is a consultant for Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. She can be reached at 800-422-2655 or by email at susansuben@31greenbush.com.

Rochester’s ‘Walking Museum’ Because of a reporting error, the name of Donovan Shilling was misspelled in the last issue of 55 PLUS. Shilling is the Rochester resident who has collected local memorabilia since he was a little boy. Now he writes books about local history (18 so far), gives presentations and works on a historical exhibit project. We apologize for the error.

FACTOID

Retiring Later. "The overall percentage of workers reporting that they expect to retire later than originally planned has decreased from 22 percent in 2013 to 15 percent in 2014 and 13 percent in 2015," according to the 2015 Retirement Confidence Survey. May / June 2016 - 55 PLUS

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By Ernst Lamothe Jr.

Sharon Cary, 62, Victor resident helps raise about $1 million for Serenity House Q: What happened in life that made you such a fearless advocate for end-of-life programs? A: My family went through a lot when my mother passed away in 2001. It was very difficult for all of us. We wanted the best for her. When your family member is sick, you can only take so much time away to care for them. We didn’t have something like Serenity House. I kept thinking there has to be a better way to leave this world than the way my mother left. There has to be something that makes a family able to deal with this so much better. Then I heard about Serenity House. Q: What drew you to Serenity House? A: It was an organization that you could tell had respect and support for terminally-ill people seven days a week. They wanted to provide a warm environment for not only the residents, but the families that cared for them. They took care of the whole person both their physical and emotional needs. They supported the family through the bereavement process. I liked the fact that it was a 24-hour care facility that was free of charge to the family. They want people to have dignity every step of the way and that is so important for anyone let alone someone who is in the process of dying. Q: How did you first get involved? A: I saw a little advertisement that they were having a meeting in the library. I went and I had just planned to sit in the back, nice and quiet, to learn as much information as possible. I was timid because this was something just so new to me. Soon, it was something 50

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that I wanted to get involved in. I felt comfortable helping families and the person who was dying. Q: How did your role grow within the organization? A: At first, I used to work Wednesdays helping the residents feel truly cared for in their last days. This has given so many families peace of mind. I have a strong commitment to keeping Serenity House’s doors open. I started getting involved in gala fundraising every year. I understood with this being a free-of-charge facility to residents that the financial needs of the Serenity House was important to the stability of the organization. This is a caring, loving home for residents, but nothing can be done if our financial house is not in order. I also have a commitment to serving the backbone of the operation, which are the volunteers. Q: What is the hardest part of dealing with end of life? A: There are so many different aspects that make it difficult. First on all sides, nobody wants to talk about death. Everyone is happy when a baby is born. But end of life conversations are not easy. It’s not something we give much thought about and it isn’t something we want to give more thought to. Yet, when you hit that road, it is something you have to confront. The advice I would give people is that they have to confront the situation no matter how difficult it is to talk about. It is a horrible thing to deal with, but dying is a part of life that we all have to tackle eventually, and we can’t just delay talking about because it is difficult. We have to put some-

thing in place to make the situation better for people at the end of their lives and for the families who have to deal with the incredible loss. Q: What do you enjoy about living in Victor? A: I grew up in a small community called Big Flats in the Southern Tier. Being raised in a small town, it was just in our nature to take care of people. I remember when someone in the neighborhood lost their jobs, you would wait until the sun went down and just drop a bag of groceries on their doorstep. That way they wouldn’t know where it was coming from so they didn’t have to be embarrassed. We just watched out for each other in good or bad times. I get that same sense in Victor. Even though it has grown substantially and is no longer a small town, you still get the neighborhood feeling. Q: What do you do in your spare time? A: I like spending time with friends and family. I have one grandchild who is 2 years old and we have so much fun together. I enjoy gardening and doing yoga to stay relaxed. I am all about putting together wonderful memories either by doing activities or spending time with the people I love.

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