55 Plus of Rochester, #68: March – April 2021 by 55 Plus: For Active Adults in Rochester

SAVVY SENIOR: IS SOCIAL SECURITY INCOME TAXABLE?

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PLUS Issue 68 • March / April 2021 For Active Adults in the Rochester Area

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n GARAGE SALE Your guide to a successful garage sale: Everything you need to know to get rid of unwanted stuff

Jazz Singer Nancy Kelly Slated to be inducted into the Rochester Music Hall of Fame this year, singer talks about music, local roots, COVID-19 and the urge to perform

n SECOND ACT Former accountant has a blast as a beekeeper

n HOME BUYING How to avoid a costly mistake and find your perfect home

n HOT TIPS 9 retirement savings mistakes to avoid

Bruce Frassinelli: A Lesson from Alex Trebek

jackie 50. michele 50. Life is about overcoming challenges. After a century of providing services for healthy aging, we understand that sometimes life can bring the unexpected. For anyone recovering from an illness or surgery, our mySuccess® Short-Term Rehabilitation provides highly personalized care from a certified therapy staff that treats the entire person— mentally, emotionally, and physically—to get you back to feeling like yourself. To experience the difference at Jewish Senior Life, call 585-427-7760. All photos safely taken prior to COVID-19 pandemic.

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CONTENTS

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SAVVY SENIOR: IS SOCIAL SECURITY INCOME TAXABLE?

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March / April 2021 To subscribe to 55 PLUS, please see our coupon on page 41.

Issue 68 • March / April 2021 For Active Adults in the Rochester Area

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Story ideas? editor@roc55.com

55 PLUS

n GARAGE SALE

‘

Your guide to a successful garage sale: Everything you need to know to get rid of unwanted stuff

n SECOND ACT

Jazz Singer Nancy Kelly

Former accountant has a blast as a beekeeper

n HOME BUYING How to avoid a costly mistake and ﬁnd your perfect home

Slated to be inducted into the Rochester Music Hall of Fame this year, singer talks about music, local roots, COVID-19 and the urge to perform

n HOT TIPS 9 retirement savings mistakes to avoid

Bruce Frassinelli: A Lesson from Alex Trebek

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Savvy Senior 6 • Experts: ways you can save on tax Financial Health 8 12 SECOND ACT • Former accountant has a blast as a Essay 20 beekeeper Long-term Care 46 16 CELEBRITY Golden Years 48 • A lesson from Alex Trebek Addyman’s Corner 49 18 FINANCES

• Retirement savings mistakes to avoid

22 EXHIBIT Patricia Uttaro, 58. Librarian chief talks about how Monroe County libraries have adapted to the COVID-19 era 4

55 PLUS - March / April 2021

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@ 55 PLUS ROCHESTER

10 TAXES

LAST PAGE

55 PLUS

• Andy Warhol exhibit at Museum Art Gallery ends March 28

24 GARAGE SALE

• Everything you need to know to get rid of unwanted stuff

26 COVER

• Jazz singer Nancy Kelly to be inducted at the Rochester Music Hall of Fame

31 MIGRAINE

• Kathy O’Shea has lived with migraine over 40 years. She wrote a book about it

35 GARDENING • How to get an early start

36 LEARNING

• Adult enrichment classes continue … virtually

38 HOUSEKEEPING • Don’t want to keep up with housekeeping?

40 ARTS

• A marriage of engineering, creativity and heart

42 BOOK

• Nurse practitioner pens book

44 ADVENTURE

• Norwegian sailor comes to WNY

Had a Stroke. Back on Stage.

Musician Todd Hobin KNOW THE SIGNS • CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY

Central New York music legend Todd Hobin knew nothing about stroke — but he does now. That’s why he’s raising awareness about stroke risk factors and its signs and symptoms.

FACE DROOPING

A. S.

ARM WEAKNESS

SPEECH DIFFICULTY

Fact: Stroke is the fifth leading cause of death and a leading cause of disability in the U.S. Important to know: Stroke can happen to both men and women — at any age. Good news: Stroke is preventable by managing medical risk factors and healthy lifestyle choices. What to do: Time lost is brain lost. So it’s vital to know the signs of a stroke — F.A.S.T. Four words to live by: Call 911 and say, “Take me to Crouse.“ When it comes to stroke, every moment matters. As one of just 10 hospitals in New York State tohave earned Comprehensive Stroke Center status, and with the region’s newest ER and hybrid ORs, Crouse offers the most advanced technology for rapid stroke diagnosis and treatment

Read Todd’s story and learn more: crouse.org/toddhobin.

TIME TO CALL 911

savvy senior By Jim Miller

Is Social Security Income Taxable?

hether or not you’ll be required to pay federal income tax on your Social Security benefits will depend on your income and filing status. About 35% of Social Security recipients have total incomes high enough to trigger federal income tax on their benefits. To figure out if your benefits will be taxable, you’ll need to add up all of your “provisional income,” which includes wages, taxable and non-taxable interest, dividends, pensions and taxable retirement-plan distributions, self-employment, and other taxable income, plus half your annual Social Security benefits, minus certain deductions used in figuring your adjusted gross income.

How to Calculate

To help you with the calculations, get a copy of IRS Publication 915 “Social Security and Equivalent Railroad Retirement Benefits,” which provides detailed instructions and worksheets. You can download it at IRS.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p915.pdf or call the IRS at 800-829-3676 and ask them to mail you a free copy. After you do the calculations, the IRS says that if you’re single and your total income from all of the listed sources is: • Less than $25,000, your Social Security will not be subject to federal income tax. • Between $25,000 and $34,000, up to 50% of your Social Security benefits will be taxed at your regular income-tax rate. • More than $34,000, up to 85% of your benefits will be taxed. If you’re married and filing jointly and the total from all sources is: • Less than $32,000, your Social Security won’t be taxed. • Between $32,000 and $44,000, up to 50% of your Social Security benefits will be taxed. • More than $44,000, up to 85% 6

55 PLUS - March / April 2021

55PLUS roc55.com

Editor and Publisher Wagner Dotto

of your benefits will be taxed. If you’re married and file a separate return, you probably will pay taxes on your benefits. To limit potential taxes on your benefits, you’ll need to be cautious when taking distributions from retirement accounts or other sources. In addition to triggering ordinary income tax, a distribution that significantly raises your gross income can bump the proportion of your Social Security benefits subject to taxes.

Writers & Contributing Writers

How to File

Nancy Nitz

If you find that part of your Social Security benefits will be taxable, you’ll need to file using Form 1040 or Form 1040-SR. You also need to know that if you do owe taxes, you’ll need to make quarterly estimated tax payments to the IRS, or you can choose to have it automatically withheld from your benefits. To have it withheld, you’ll need to complete IRS Form W-4V, Voluntary Withholding Request (IRS.gov/ pub/irs-pdf/fw4v.pdf), and file it with your local Social Security office. You can choose to have 7%, 10%, 12% or 22% of your total benefit payment withheld. If you subsequently decide you don’t want the taxes withheld, you can file another W-4V to stop the withholding. If you have additional questions on taxable Social Security benefits call the IRS help line at 800-829-1040.

State Taxation

In addition to the federal government, 13 states — Colorado, Connecticut, Kansas, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, North Dakota, Rhode Island, Utah, Vermont and West Virginia — tax Social Security benefits to some extent too. If you live in one of these states, check with your state tax agency for details. For links to state tax agencies see TaxAdmin.org/state-tax-agencies.

Deborah J. Sergeant Melody Burri, John Addyman Bruce Frassinelli, Todd Etshman Kimberly Blaker, Lynette M. Loomis

Columnists

Jim Terwilliger, Susan Suben Jim Miller, John Addyman Harold Miller

Advertising

Anne Westcott, Linda Covington

Office Assistant Layout and Design Dylon Clew-Thomas

Cover Photo

Chuck Wainwright

55 PLUS –A Magazine for Active Adults in the Rochester Area is published six times a year by Local News, Inc., which also publishes In Good Health–Rochester—Genesee Valley’s Healthcare Newspaper.

Mailing Address PO Box 525 Victor, NY 14564 © 2021 by 55 PLUS – A Magazine for Active Adults in the Rochester Area. No material may be reproduced in whole or in part from this publication without the express written permission of the publisher. PRSRT STD US Postage PAID Buffalo, NY Permit No. 4725

How to Reach Us P.O. Box 525 Victor, NY 14564 Voice: 585-421-8109 Fax: 585-421-8129 editor@roc55.com

opportunities in the health care industry. To join our talented, professional team, please visit one of our care facilities career pages for available positions.

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Our Mission. To provide people in our community with healthcare, customer services, Life in balance. support & employment to achieve their individual best quality of life.

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financial health By Jim Terwilliger

Filing 2020 Income Taxes: What you Need to Know

ost likely, you are busy getting your 2020 income taxes prepared and filed. Whether you use tax-preparation software or work with a professional tax preparer (which we recommend for a variety of reasons), there are many changes from the previous year that should be on your radar. Most are changes resulting from the SECURE and CARES acts as well as IRS Notices issued last year to clarify and enhance some CARES Act provisions. The CARES Act was the initial federal legislation providing financial relief to individuals and businesses following the onset of the coronavirus pandemic. • Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs). A big change in 2020 for folks age 72 or older was the waiving of RMDs for IRAs, inherited IRAs and employer retirement plans. While distributions from these accounts are always permissible, those who do not need all or portions of their RMDs welcomed this waiver with open arms. Early last year, those who started taking distributions (and wished they had not) were allowed one reversal following the standard 60day once/year rollover rule. This was followed by two successive relaxations such that any unwanted 2020 distributions could have been reversed if rollovers back to an IRA were completed by Aug.15. If you carried out such rollovers, you received 2020 Form(s) 1099-R documenting all distributions. These distributions must be reported on your federal tax return. However, any rollovers back to your IRA are not taxable and are subtracted from the gross distribution amount. Be sure to tell your tax preparer of any rollovers, otherwise you will be taxed unnecessarily. • Coronavirus Related Distributions (CRDs). The CARES Act also allowed up to $100K in taxable

55 PLUS - March / April 2021

Tax rules seem to be changing at an everincreasing pace.’ distributions from individual and employer retirement plans without an early-withdrawal penalty for those impacted medically or financially by the pandemic. The default tax treatment for such distributions will spread taxation out over three years starting with 2020 tax year. An option is to pay the entire tax obligation in the first year — 2020. Another is to repay all or a portion of the original distribution within three years. Distribution repayments can be made to any pre-tax retirement plan, and such repayments will reduce the taxable portion of the original distribution by the repayment amount. • Qualified Charitable Distributions (QCDs). Distributions up to $100K/year per person can be made directly from an IRA to a public charity (not a donor-advised fund) by folks who are age 70 1/2 or older. While this feature remained unchanged in 2020, QCDs took on a new perspective since they were not useful last year for offsetting the taxability of RMDs. However, for folks who are taking the standard deduction for 2020, donating to charity via QCDs still remained the charitable-giving method of choice. Be aware that if you made 2020 QCDs, you still received a Form 1099-R for that IRA documenting all distributions, including QCDs. Like rollovers back into an IRA, described above, the taxable portion of your distributions will be reduced by your total QCDs. Again, be sure to tell your tax preparer of any QCDs to ensure you do not pay tax on such distributions. • Contributions of Cash to Public Charities. Lots of changes here for 2020. For those making large

charitable gifts and therefore choose to itemize deductions, cash gifts to public charities (not donor-advised funds) up to 100% of adjusted gross income (AGI) can be deducted for 2020. Normally, the limit is 60%. (2020 deductibility for gifts of appreciated securities remains at 30%.) For gifts exceeding these limits, deductions can be carried forward for up to five additional tax years. Further, an up-to-$300 “abovethe-line” deduction for cash gifts to public charities (again, not donor-advised funds) is available for 2020 tax year for those who take the standard deduction. The recent federal Consolidated Appropriations Act of 2021 extends both cash contribution options described above. Additionally, the above-the-line deduction for 2021 tax year is increased to $600 for joint returns. The 2020 deduction is limited to $300 per return, not person. • NYS Tax Credit for Qualified Long-Term Care Insurance Premiums. Previously, New York income taxes could be reduced by a credit equal to 20% of qualified premiums paid for long-term care insurance regardless of income. Starting 2020 tax year, the credit is disallowed for taxpayers having a NYS AGI exceeding $250K, single or jointly filed. Also, the credit is now limited to $1,500. Tax rules seem to be changing at an ever-increasing pace. Consult with your tax preparer and financial planning adviser to ensure you are taking advantage of all the options available to you and that your financial plan is adjusted as necessary. James Terwilliger, CFP®, is senior vice president, senior planning adviser, CNB Wealth Management, Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. He can be reached at 585419-0670 ext. 50630 or by email at jterwilliger@cnbank.com.

Social Security

Q&A Q: I recently retired and am approaching the age when I can start receiving Medicare. What is the monthly premium for Medicare Part B? A: In 2021, the standard Medicare Part B premium for medical insurance is currently $148.50 per month. Some people with higher incomes must pay a higher monthly premium for their Medicare coverage. You can get details at www.medicare.gov or by calling 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227) (TTY 1-877-4862048). Q: I know that Social Security’s full retirement age is gradually rising to 67. But does this mean the “early” retirement age will also go up by two years, from age 62 to 64? A: No. While it is true that under current law the full retirement age is gradually rising from 65 to 67, the “early” retirement age remains at 62. Keep in mind, however, that taking early retirement reduces your benefit amount. For more information about Social Security benefits, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/ planners/retire. Q: I’m retired and the only income I have is a monthly withdrawal from an Individual Retirement Account (IRA). Are the IRA withdrawals considered “earnings?” Could they reduce my monthly Social Security benefits? A: No. We count only the wages you earn from a job or your net profit if you’re self-employed. Non-work income such as pensions, annuities, investment income, interest, capital gains, and other government benefits are not counted and will not affect your Social Security benefits. From the Social Security Office

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55+ tax

Top Tax Tips Experts talk about ways you can save on taxes By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

hile in the throes of the tax season, it’s a good time to consider how you can improve your tax situation for next year. Ask your tax preparer about what applies to your finances. Three local financial experts suggest the following: Suggestions from Diana Apostolova, investment consultant with Rochester Investments: • “For anyone who is still working, maximizing retirement contributions is a great way to lower taxable income. The 2021 employee contribution to a 401k or 403b is $19,500 for anyone under 50, and $26,000 for anyone over 50. If saving at the highest level is possible, this will not only reduce the taxable income in the current year but also add needed dollars to a retirement account that will come in handy down the road. • “For anyone that may have lost their income or have a lower income in 2021, looking into a Roth IRA conversion may be sensible idea. Assuming no change in tax laws, this will allow for taxes to be paid this year and will eliminate any further taxes. • “For anyone who has a small business and no employees or only family members as employees, the contribution amounts to a retirement account are much higher and can be made in such a way to maximize tax savings significantly. • “For retirees, ensuring that your total taxable income is coordinated with your Social Security payments to

55 PLUS - March / April 2021

minimize or eliminate taxes on social security is a good practice to do in advance. • “With a potential increase in capital gains tax rates from the new Biden administration, ensuring that your savings are in the correct account type is critical. This is also critical when it applies to distributions to beneficiaries. • “Having the correct account type at death can save a lot of money paid from the decedent’s estate or by the beneficiaries thereafter. For high income earners, required minimum distributions, RMDs, can still be made directly to a charity, thus saving the retiree to pay taxes on these distributions. Also, for high income earners, having the ability to put a charitable contributions plan in place may not only benefit the charity but also benefit the retiree and their families.” Suggestions from Lizz Ortolanti, president and owner of Ortolani Services, Inc. in Rochester: • “Consider increasing the contributions to the health savings account (HSA). The IRS publishes limits every year and the funds roll over every year. That lowers your taxable income. Some HSAs, depending on the financial institutions, are higher yields. It helps to shop around to look at the fees and interest that they pay. • “One of the misconceptions is you can only have an HSA if you’re employed. That’s not the case. If you have a high deductible health plan, you can use an HSA. Contributions

can be made all year long until April 15 for the next year for the previous tax year. If you’re eligible to contribute to an HSA, you’re eligible to contribute until April 15 for the previous year. You can contribute monthly, regularly or once a year.” Suggestions from Jeff Feldman, Ph.D., certified financial planner with Rochester Financial Services: • “As you get older and closer to retirement, understand that putting money into a retirement plan during your last few years of work makes a lot of sense. You put the money in while you’re working and if you’re at a 25% bracket while working and retired, you may be down to a 10% bracket. It makes a lot of sense to put more money in while you’re in a high tax bracket.” • “A lot of people have a shoebox of receipts and information and a lot of it isn’t usable material. Because of the 2017 tax law, most people can’t itemize. When it comes to giving to charity, if you’re over 70.5, you’re allowed to have money from your IRA account go directly to a charity. That way, you can satisfy your required minimum distribution. You’re getting the benefit of itemizing even if you cannot itemize. Most people are not itemizing because of the new tax law. For qualified charitable distributions, instead of writing a check, you send a list to your IRA custodian. You pay the charities in pre-tax dollars.

Even your choices will have choices. There is no one-size-fits-all retirement. That’s why there is truly no end to the choices you’ll find when you live at The Village at Unity. You’ll have options upon options in wellness, fitness, dining, travel, social activities, and more. We invite you to find out more with a virtual or in-person tour. Call (585) 209-3785 to schedule.

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55+ second act

Former Accountant Keeps Busy with Bees

Enjoys a new career as beekeeper By John Addyman

o, what would you do after you’ve had a 19-year career in accounting and helped your company grow from 25 to 400 employees, raised two kids and sent them on their way, and watched your husband retire? You’d raise bees, of course. And after the furry creatures got comfortable with you, you’d acquire more bees and start selling the products of their labors in shows and festivals … and making money. Right? Of course, right. Then would you start making crafty things with bee byproducts in your kitchen at home? Things that almost no one has seen before? Sure you would. Then one day you’d catch a glimpse of a nice little house in the business district of the village of Webster, and go home and tell your husband you’d like to set up a business. What would he say? “Go for it.” That’s what Amy Stringer, 55, of Ontario did. Her shop, The North Bee, on North Avenue, is built around her personality. It’s the kind of place that has such unusual stuff, you find yourself turning around and asking her questions every few feet. “I just retired at the end of September from LSI Solutions in Victor,” she said. “It’s a medical manufacturing company. I saw a lot of exciting fun things there. The owner designed medical devices for minimally invasive surgery. I was hired as a part-time accountant. I had gone to college for two years and worked at Xerox for a few years, then I had children and stayed at home for 10 or 11 years, taking care of my kids and doing some daycare.” Husband Michael retired from the Webster Highway Department three years ago and is now the superintendent of the Union Cemetery in Webster. Amy and Michael have been married for 33 years. Son Adam works in Produce at the Wegmans in Perinton, and daughter Jessica is mom to two sons and designs children’s pajamas.

55 PLUS - March / April 2021

Amy Stringer, 55, of Ontario, quit her job as an accountant for a Victor firm to open her business, The North Bee in Webster. “I have a joy doing this,” she says. So why bees? “My sister, Jill, about seven years ago, asked for bee books for Christmas. I asked myself, ‘What is she doing?’ Then she got a beehive in her backyard in Rochester. I thought she was crazy. The more she talked to me about the bees, it was so intriguing and interesting. Then she gave me a jar of honey, which up to that time, I wasn’t even eating honey. I was amazed at how delicious it was. We talked about bees often, and I’d ask for a jar of honey. After I did that several times, she told me, ‘I think you should get your own bees.’” So that’s what I did. She helped me get started about six years ago. “When I got my first hive, my husband and my daughter told me I was crazy and what was I doing? I got the bees in May. I truly enjoyed them and so did my husband. We were truly amazed each time we’d open the hive to see what the bees were doing, what they had accomplished. At the end of our first season, we couldn’t really take any honey, but we tasted a little bit every time we were in there. I did have a little bit of crushed honeycomb that was left over. I melted it down to beeswax and I made ornaments and a hard lotion bar.” Her ornaments are beeswax color, but intricate, with a folk art look. The hard lotion, like a balm, is made of beeswax, coconut oil and cocoa butter. It’s applied as a natural moisturizer. Still working at LSI at the time, she found out her lotion bars were popular and started selling

‘As soon as you see the dandelions pop, that’s the start of the honeycollecting season, in March or April.’ them in the office. “I was blown away by the response.” The beeswax allows the skin to breathe while it’s a moisture barrier. She branched out from there, adding fragrances to the lotion bars, meeting a growing demand. “My daughter and I went to a barn sale — the Palmyra Purple Painted Lady Barn Sale — this isn’t a barn sale. It’s so much more. I wanted to be part of this. I sent in my application and I was in it the next year. I had no idea what I was going to do for it, but I did it in 2016. The amount of money I made in just one day! People came up to me and said, ‘I can’t believe you did all this stuff with just beeswax — they were truly appreciative and so intrigued by what I was doing – that was such a WOW!” That festival lit the flame under Stringer, she says, and the possibility of having her own business solidified. She went to Village Gate Square on second Saturdays and the success continued. “I was amazed at the amount of money I made and the interactions I had with people talking about my bees and products. I did that for two years.” But she also realized, “This is a lot of hard work.” Then she saw the little house on North. “I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if I had a place to sell my stuff, make my products in back, and have a room for the children?” Wait a minute, what children? It turns out Stringer was asked by her grandson’s Rochester Yoga Preschool teacher to come and talk with the kids about bees. “I brought some things and talked to the children about bees. That was just so special. I really liked interacting with children. They smelled the beeswax, tasted the honey, saw my little bee puppet…I had a lot of tactile stuff for the kids.” Not long after, she saw the house on North Avenue. “I talked to my husband and said, ‘Guess what? I

Façade of The North Bee, which opened two years ago in Webster. Top photos show variety of products available at the store — all bee-related. March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

found a place. I want to go look at it.’ “He said, ‘Does that mean we get to take all this stuff out of the house?’” The North Bee has a special kids’ room where parents can park their children while shopping. Stringer loves to instruct, and here she shares items with kids. “Before COVID I had the Girl Scouts in here. I had grandmothers bring their grandkids in here. I made little presentations. I’ve done adult day care home presentations. Jewish Sunday Schools, Brownies, preschools.” In the back of the store is the prep area where she makes products and melts wax. Beekeeping is a year-round task, but things are quiet in the winter. The Stringers get the bees ready for cold weather in October and November. “We make sure they have enough ventilation and they’re all wrapped up. Prior to that, we make sure they have enough honey to get through the winter. I do take a peek at them during the winter, but I don’t open the hive.

“As soon as you see the dandelions pop, that’s the start of the honeycollecting season, in March or April. I collect honey very often in the beginning, always keeping in mind the bees need 80 pounds of honey for themselves in wintertime. I take honey off summer and fall — in the summer, end of July I pull. Prior to that I’m checking on the bees to make sure there’s a queen and the queen is laying eggs. Making sure there’s extra room. When they have extra honey, I will pull that end of July and again around Labor Day, depending on the weather. I can pull 100 pounds of honey off a hive. We don’t do it all at once.” She sells honey in 8-ounce and one-pound jars in two versions — “summer (clover and wildflowers)” and “fall (goldenrod and aster).” Summer honey is sweeter and lighter; fall is darker and more flavorful. “When someone comes into my store, I say, ‘Hi! Have you been here before?” If they say, ‘No,’ I tell them I’m a beekeeper and all the products in my store are made out of local beeswax

(except for candles, which use wax supplied by other beekeepers). The shop isn’t big but has a lot to offer. Stringer sells flower seeds, candles, candy, honey sticks (straws), elderberry syrup (which some people believe has anti-inflammatory properties) and jelly, propolis (which some use as an antiseptic or germkiller), paw balm for dogs (“A big seller,” Stringer says), lip balm, foot nourishment stick for cracked heels, potpurri suncatchers and things to drink. She also handles hemp and CBD products. COVID-19 closed the shop for 87 days in 2020, but when she retired from LSI and opened for the holiday season, she found herself working 15-hour days. “I was blown away,” she said, “with all the new customers.” She is an Etsy artisan and her website, www. thenorthbeeshop.com, also offers products. “They both took off when my store was closed,” she adds, “but I really missed being here and seeing customers.” “I have a joy doing this.”

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55 PLUS - March / April 2021

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55+ celebrity

A Lesson from Alex Trebek By Bruce Frassinelli

he answer is Alex Trebek. Who was the best game show host ever? Along with millions of others, I was a big fan of Jeopardy host Alex Trebek, who lost his very public battle with stage four pancreatic cancer last November. He was 80. Every weekday evening, in ritualistic fashion, I parked myself in my favorite easy chair recliner watching my big screen TV to match wits with three super-intelligent contestants. In almost every instance, I wound up in fourth place. I was in awe of Trebek’s talent and unflappability as he reeled off the answers to complicated, tricky and sometimes near-unpronounceable tongue-twisters. He mixed in just the right amount of wit, ad-lib humor and an occasional dash of 16

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condescension if a hapless contestant performed extremely poorly. In case you have been cloistered for 36 years on some mountaintop retreat and just returned to society, Jeopardy works in reverse of other game shows. For example, Trebek might say, “This picturesque county seat borders the shores of Lake Ontario in Central New York State and is where Al Roker went to college.” The contestants were charged with coming up with the correct question: “What is Oswego?” From time to time, especially when I was having a pretty good run of answering correctly, my wife would say, “You should try out for Jeopardy.” I was too embarrassed to tell her that I did once, unbeknownst to her and other family members, but never made the cut.

I sneaked off to Merv Griffin’s Resorts Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City several years after Trebek took over the show in 1984 to try out for Jeopardy. There were hundreds of people there vying for a shot at fame and fortune. I made it through the 10-question pre-test with eight correct answers vs. the passing score of 7. I was interviewed to test my personality and ability to react quickly to questions. I must have performed adequately, because I was told that I was still in the running with 24 other prospective contestants. We 25 were then confronted with a 50-question test in which I performed miserably and was eliminated from further consideration. Because of my poor performance, I vowed to keep the experience secret and am revealing it now for the first

time. Even these many years later, I can feel my face flush with embarrassment — that’s how horribly I did in that second qualifier. In the thousands of columns I have composed during my 60-year journalistic career, I have written just one that had Trebek’s name in it until now, and with his passing I am feeling bad about having panned him. It was during the October 2018 Pennsylvania gubernatorial debate that Trebek moderated between incumbent Democrat Tom Wolf and Republican challenger Scott Wagner. Wolf went on to win re-election easily with 58% of the vote. When I first heard that Trebek was going to be moderator, I was star struck and thought what a great catch it was for the Pennsylvania Chamber of Business and Industry, the event sponsor, to nail down such a beloved icon. Almost immediately, though, I concluded that Trebek, a Canadian native and California resident, might be out of his element. I was right. He performed poorly. From the outset, it was clear that Trebek was not going to be a traditional moderator. While this in itself is not necessarily a bad thing, the moderator’s role is to stay in the background and let the candidates be the stars. That didn’t happen. He spoke almost as long as the two candidates combined. He said that he accepted the invitation on the condition that he would get to moderate his way — with a “conversation” among him and the candidates rather than a “debate.” It didn’t take long for the rumbling and grumbling in the sold-out audience of 2,100 to start. During his four-minute opening, compared to a minute and a half for each candidate, Trebek told several jokes that fell flat. “I’m not here to embarrass the candidates,” he said. “They are perfectly able to do that all by themselves.” He also joked, “I won’t tolerate any booing or hissing, even if it’s directed at the candidates.” Actually, the only booing and hissing that did occur was aimed at Trebek himself. It came when he noted that the Pennsylvania state legislature’s approval rating is just 14%. “The only thing with a lower rating,” he said, “is the Catholic Church.” His reference to the church’s sex-abuse scandal did not go over well at all. Also maddening was when

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Trebek took issue with some of what the candidates said and interjected his own views about education and other controversial subjects. Calling Trebek a “failed moderator,” candidate Wagner wanted two additional debates, but they never happened. Trebek took a great deal of criticism from the news media and Pennsylvania voters who thought he spent too much of the allotted debate time speaking himself, without giving the candidates the opportunity to explain and defend their policy positions. After the debate, Trebek realized that he had performed poorly and issued his “sincere apologies.’’ Trebek said he thought that as moderator he was to provide a “certain light-hearted approach while still being able to challenge the candidates on their records. I didn’t realize that I was to ask a simple question, then let the gentlemen go at each other.” In his apology, Trebek said, “I was naïve and misunderstood my role as moderator,” he said. “I offer my sincere apologies to the people of Pennsylvania, a state I dearly love.” It took me nearly a week to contact Trebek after the debate. When I finally got a return call from him, he reiterated without equivocation that he had bombed. Trebek told me that he learned a valuable lesson at age 78 — “Stick to what you know and do best. In other words, I learned that I need to stay in my own lane,” he said.

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March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

55+ finances

Retirement Savings Mistakes to Avoid

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

etiring in a few years? You can improve your financial situation by avoiding these common financial mistakes many people make.

Too little funds. 1Security Rather than relying on Social and chance, future retirees

need to plan on saving enough. “As hard as it might be, saving to a retirement plan should be done consistently over time to allow for a sufficient amount in retirement,” said Diana Apostolova, investment consultant with Rochester Investments.

Paying off the house. 2 “Many people incorrectly rush to pay off their mortgages

thinking that it’s a good idea to do so before they retire. This is a mistake because the interest rates on their current mortgages is generally lower than what they can earn on their investments,” Apostalova said.

plus years, but the amount needed in 20 years will be significantly higher than what is needed today,” Apostalova said. Work with your financial adviser to decide how much you will need. You may need more money than you thought. establishing a spending 4Not plan. Especially right after retiring, it

is tempting to make some major purchases or spend on hobbies you were unable to do while working. “Rushing into spending can hurt someone really badly if they end up living longer than they initially anticipated,” Apostalova said. “It’s not going to be easy to be in your 90s and live on a much lower income than your standard of living. Pacing yourself is critical and can be a really big problem for some that didn’t have a solid retirement plan in place and a plan that wasn’t updated on a regular basis.”

Forgetting about inflation. about healthcare 3 The cost of goods and services 5Forgetting expenses. will only go up. These expenses will not only “Many people stay retired for 20-

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increase with inflation but will also escalate as your healthcare needs increase with older age. Lizz Ortolanti, president and owner of Ortolani Services, Inc. in Rochester, is licensed in life, accident and health insurance and certified in Medicare. “Pair a health savings account (HAS) with a high deductible plan,” Ortolanti said. “Some plan with an HSA to pay for these expenses pretax, which is nice. It’s also a retirement savings tool.” HSA funds may be rolled over into another savings vehicle once the plan holder retires. “Over time, you can have $10,000 to $20,000 by age 65 in an HSA,” Ortolanti said. “That is a nice tool for planning. HSA money is a pre-tax in and pre-tax out.” long-term care plan6Skipping ning. Nursing home care costs hun-

dreds per day. Since most people who need nursing home care will likely need many months of care, it is important to plan for this expense. Ortolanti suggested both longterm care insurance with a critical

illness rider. The latter can augment or replace the former. “Medicare does not cover longterm care,” Ortolanti said. “The only insurance that covers it is Medicaid or long-term care insurance. Work with your financial planner; Medicaid has asset requirements. You may need to spend down assets to qualify.” Going only with a Roth. 7 While it may serve many situations well, a Roth IRA is not the

only savings vehicle for retirement. “They have to understand that if they put the money into a traditional retirement plan, not a Roth, they save 25% on taxes if they’re in that tax bracket,” said Jeff Feldman Jeff Feldman, Ph.D., and certified financial planner with Rochester Financial Services in Pittsford. “For most people, I recommend a traditional IRA plan instead of a Roth. With a Roth, they don’t get the tax savings.”

Avoiding all risk. 8 The best way to grow money is to invest it; however, with invest-

ment comes risk. No- or low-risk investments will not grow as quickly. For people with many years left before retirement, including some risk can help them more rapidly increase their retirement savings. “I’ve heard of some people who look at the volatility and say, ‘I won’t put that as part of my plan,’” Feldman said. “They use a savings account. They miss the big point. Putting money into your retirement plan saves on taxes. You don’t need to put it into aggressive stock funds and still get a savings on taxes. If you put $10,000 into a bond fund, it costs you only $7,500 because you don’t pay taxes on it. For the tax savings alone, it’s worthwhile investment.”

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55+ essay

My Retired Life Is this the new normal? By Donna Cordello

unny thing is now that I’m retired and have the luxury of sleeping in, I usually can’t and just wake up without an alarm

clock. I have my coffee and the first decision is — do I really want to watch the news first thing in the morning or should I take advantage of a little more ‘ignorance is bliss’ time? Then, the big decision of the day: Why do I have to put a bra on, when I have nowhere to go? Truth is, if I went out and bought an entirely new wardrobe, seven pairs of new sweats or pajamas would probably do the trick.

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And that’s not like me. In fact, nothing these days is like me. When I was working and had deadlines, I could easily meet them while multi-tasking. But, lately, I look at dangling projects and have a ‘maybe tomorrow’ mindset. And, the reality is, I have never been this lazy. I’m eating out of boredom. I’m constantly sighing. And I’m anxious at times. And trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me. And then, I realized the answer is crystal clear. I’m depressed. There I said it. I’m depressed. And I feel embarrassed because I have so much to be grateful for: a

beautiful loving family, fabulous friends, a nice home and on and on. It’s not that I’m so depressed that I can’t function or be productive — because I know I can. It’s just that on most days, I choose not to — unless you consider watching endless reruns of “SVU” on television an accomplishment. The good news is that even though I’ve watched every episode of “Law and Order” countless times, I always forget the ending so it’s kind of like watching them for the first time. Maybe, the isolation of this past year has finally gotten to me. It wasn’t so bad in better weather when we ate outside every day, explored walking trails and fresh air infiltrated my home through open windows. But, being locked in— in the winter, for people like me, who hate the cold — is another story. When you include the mandatory quarantines, along with the breaking news reports, which are always dismal, it’s depressing. I can’t find another word for it. And, the insurmountable amount of hatred in this world surely doesn’t help, either. We have all faced new challenges and have been displaced in one way

or another. And because of it, now, more than ever, we need each other. But instead of bonding closer together, some people are drifting further apart. It’s so sad to see relatives and long-time friends argue and sever relationships over politics and issues that they have absolutely no control over. When did we lose our ability to be kind to one another, despite our differences? Is it because our tolerance and patience dwindled and outright disappeared because of what’s going on around us? Children are in a foreign social and learning environment. Parents are struggling to manage schedules and working at home in between changing diapers and preparing dinner. Essential workers are wearing protective gear for hours on end. Businesses are trying to stay afloat while making changes to adhere to mandatory guidelines. Snowbirds have clipped wings along with everyone else. From weddings to wakes, we really can’t plan anything with certainty and have made more cancellations than reservations. What’s even worse is that we can’t even visit and comfort our loved ones in hospitals or nursing homes.

It’s been a year where nothing is like the ordinary lives we once knew. The physical things we’ve always done without a thought have changed, too — even the simplest things, like wearing glasses. They fog up when you wear a mask so you have to figure out how you can see and breathe through a covered nose at the same time. Or when you walk into a grocery store and realize that you left your mask at home or in the car. Or, for me, the biggest change is something I inherited. I’m Italian. I grew up with lots of hugs and kisses. I’ve carried these outward displays of affection throughout my life and it’s how I greet and bid farewells to relatives and friends. But now, when we rarely do see each other, we bump elbows and blow air kisses, out of fear of getting sick, or worse, getting someone else sick. And it goes against my tradition, my instinct and the very core of who I am. It’s not my ‘new normal’ but my ‘new abnormal.’ And honestly, something I don’t thing I’ll ever get used to. And that nobody else should have to either. Because, the human touch is medicine for the soul and some-

times, nothing is more welcoming or comforting than a warm embrace. I guess the sooner I accept all the changes in this world, the better off I’ll be. I realize I’m in a much better place than many others are. And, although I’m grateful for all the blessings I possess, it doesn’t alter the way I’ve been feeling. So, instead of beating myself up for thinking I have no right to be depressed, I’m owning it, because I know it’s temporary and maybe even somewhat normal for these times. And, I know the things I have to do to get out of this miserable slump I’ve found myself in. I’ll start off with forcing myself to get dressed every day — even when I have nowhere to go. Donna Cordello, 64, is a freelance writer who lives in Penfield. She can be reached at donnacordello@ aol.com.

55+ exhibit Andy Warhol Exhibit at MAG Ends March 28 Memorial Art Gallery director talks about the Warhol exhibit in Rochester — and how the museum has been affected by COVID-19 By Todd Etshman

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f you’re tired of quarantining at home, the Memorial Art Gallery offers a safe, controlled environment and an exhibition featuring the most influential artist of the 20th century: Andy Warhol. It’s the first-ever Warhol exhibit in Rochester and runs through March 28. You don’t have to be a Warholian club member to recognize his Campbell soup cans and Marilyn Monroe images that became iconic symbols of American life and culture. Warhol died in 1987, but as MAG Director Jonathan P. Binstock, explained, his influence and immense body of work are very much alive and relevant today. Besides the soup can prints — and there are plenty of them in this exhibit donated by the Bank of America — there is far more of Warhol to see in “Season of Warhol.” The exhibition features selections from Warhol’s decades of photographic silkscreen printmaking. As an artist, author, rock music promoter, publisher, model, film maker and more, he left his mark on many aspects of American life and culture. “In the end, I think Warhol was a conceptual artist and his greatest contribution was himself,” Binstock said. “Everything he touched fell into a much larger rubric. That rubric is a very complex lens or microscope through which we can still gain knowledge about who we are and the world in which we live.” Warhol may not be around to interview, but there are few better to explain his work and importance in society than Binstock, 54, director of MAG since 2014. Binstock’s lengthy credentials include a Ph.D. in the history of art. Like Warhol, he’s involved in a lot of different areas related to art. He’s an expert in the art of the post World War II era, a teacher, a curator, an author and most importantly for the city of Rochester, a man entrusted with the mission of expanding the cultural footprint of our city. Warhol influenced many in the art world and that includes helping Binstock get started, too. As a young assistant curator in 1988 at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts in Philadelphia, Binstock was asked to organize a large Warhol exhibit and became a “Warholian” in the process.

“Andy Warhol is a major artist and a complicated artist and I figured if I could somehow wrestle with Warhol then I would have something to really show for myself,” he recalled. The Philadelphia exhibit, “Andy Warhol: Social Observer,” was successful and got Binstock started on an upward career path. Besides the work donated by Bank of America’s “Art In our Communities Program,” there is material from The Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh and MAG’s curatorial team created a Warhol TV room showcasing Warhol’s television series, advertisements, video clips and appearances in a 1980’s theme room. He’s still a television subject today, most recently in Netflix’ “Pretend it’s a City” directed by Martin Scorsese with Fran Lebowitz, who wrote for Warhol’s “Interview Magazine.” As busy as Warhol was, he watched television all the time, loved gossip news and read multiple newspapers. His “Cow Wallpaper,” a staple of Warhol exhibits, is in the pavilion outside admissions. Yes, he loved animals, too. The “Season of Warhol” theme even extends beyond MAG’s boundaries. Rochester artist Michael Dellaria has outdoor Warhol-inspired images at several locations throughout the city including downtown on East Avenue. Not surprisingly perhaps for a ‘60s through the ‘80s artist, Warhol appeals to an older than 55 audience with first-hand memories of him. But, although they might not know him as well, millennials and younger

people recognize the soup cans and anyone who uses photographic tools like Snapchat or Instagram to make different colored images is using Warhol’s artistic idea. Most everyone knows how to turn images into multicolored grids and filter images that look like they were made by Andy Warhol. As Binstock explained, the artists of today are influenced by him even if they don’t know it. Marketing the artist’s brand, designing everything, figuring in popular culture, Warhol was a pioneer of all that. Even with a broad appeal exhibit like this is, it will be a challenge for MAG to recover from the economic consequences of the coronavirus. Thanks to Binstock and MAG outreach programs, a broad audience patronizes MAG. Still, white women older than 55 constitute the core of MAG’s patrons. “That’s the classic demographic not only in Rochester but across the country,” Binstock explained. But they aren’t necessarily donors. “An art museum functions like a retail organization. Visitors don’t cover it. We need philanthropic sources. That’s what we really rely on,” Binstock said. Banks lending their collections to museums, foundations and granting agencies help art museums, too. Unfortunately, however, Binstock said there is going to be a lot more financial burden to bear before things get better. MAG and other art museums have had to trim their budgets, cut salaries, implement furloughs and take unwanted measures to survive.

Jonathan Binstock, MAG director. “It’s going to take quite awhile for people to return in the way they did before,” Binstock said. And that’s a shame given the essential value it provides the community. As Binstock explained, the entire art museum industry is working hard to change and appeal to a broader audience. More niche shows are planned including those with a Jewish theme, Indian theme and LGBT theme. “We want to do something for everyone and for everybody to find MAG relevant, “Binstock said. So, come take a look at all of the ways Warhol influenced American life. You can see all the other magnificent artists’ work on MAG’s floors, too. There’s no touching, of course. Tickets are timed to control crowds. A famous Warhol print of Marilyn Monroe is there to greet you, looking as radiant and beautiful as ever.

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55+ garage sale

Your Guide to a Successful Garage Sale Everything you need to know to get rid of unwanted stuff By Kimberly Blaker

re your garage, basement and closets overflowing from the heaps of stuff you’ve been saving ‘just in case?’ If so, it may be time to put those languishing piles to good use — in someone else’s home. Rummage sales are a great way to clear out, recycle and make some extra cash. Follow these suggestions for a successful sale and a clutter-free home.

The storefront A garage is usually the best place to hold a sale offering shelter and requiring little daily set up and tear down. If your garage is hard to access, hidden from view or contains valuables that can’t be easily hidden, use a covered porch, patio or your yard. Be sure to have plenty of tarps available to protect your goods from

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rain and for covering at the end of the day

All in the timing Plan your sale for when temperatures are between 60 to 90 F outdoors (yes, the weather in Upstate New York will get warmer). Typically, the best days to hold sales are Thursdays through Sundays, with Fridays and Saturdays bringing the most traffic. Mornings bring the most significant flow of shoppers, and the earlier you’re ready, the better. If you open by 7:30 a.m. or 8:00 a.m., rummagers will flock.

Displaying your wares Don’t heap your merchandise on tables or leave it in boxes to be ransacked. While some don’t mind digging through messy stacks, most

people won’t bother. Hang as much clothing as possible. Use a laundry pole or portable closet or install two support brackets and a closet rod. You can also support a ladder between two stepladders. If you only have a few clothing items, a clothesline will do. Plenty of table space is also a must. Borrow folding tables, and if you run out, make a table by resting a sheet of plywood over sawhorses or prop spare planks of wood between chairs. Keep all but big items off the floor for better visibility. Neatly fold and stack clothing that can’t be hung on tables, and label stacks according to size. Organize good toys and complete sets where parents and grandparents will easily spot them. Set up a ‘guys’ table with hand tools, gadgets, electronics and home repair items. Then place small articles such as jewelry in divider containers

or egg cartons, so they’re easy to view. One exception to the disorderly rule is for small toys. Stick all these little goodies in boxes on the ground where young children can dig for treasures to take home. Label boxes according to the price per item or allow kids to choose one as a prize. Finally, make sure batteries and electricity are available so you can show shoppers that items are in working condition.

Next to new sells Appearance plays a big role in the sale of used goods and how much they can bring. Wash and dry all clothing and linens, then fold or hang immediately to prevent wrinkles. Wash dust, dirt, and grime from toys, tools, and household items. Also, repair broken merchandise when feasible.

Priced to sell Don’t overprice or you’ll end up packing up nearly as much as you started with. For big items, look

through classified ads or on eBay for average resale prices. But if you check eBay, keep in mind that eBay pricing often isn’t comparable to what people will pay at a garage sale. Some topquality items in like-new condition can bring 25% to 35 % of the replacement cost at rummage sales. Occasionally, tools, equipment, and other things in small supply can be priced higher and sell for 50% to 60% of replacement cost, depending on age and condition. Most used merchandise will bring 5% to 10% of replacement cost at best.

Advertising Newspaper classified ads or Craigslist, as well as the more popular online garage sale locator websites, usually bring the best results. The exception is if you live on a main street or a heavily traveled highway. In your ad, be sure to include your address and main cross streets, dates and time of your sale, and what you’ll be selling. List big items individually as well as the categories of things you’ll sell, like “tools” or “toddler clothing.” Also, post fliers on the grocery

Donating Items to Charity

great option to easily discard larger household i t e m s ( f u r n i t u re , f o r example) and expensive objects (vintage glassware, art, lamps and rugs) is to donate them to a resale shop that uses the proceeds to fund local nonprofit organizations. T h i s o p t i o n o ff e r s a t a x deduction and it helps local nonprofit organizations. Here are four options of places that can benefit from your donation: n Saint’s Place in Pittsford. The nonprofit provides clothing, furniture, school supplies, household goods, tutoring and scholarships to newly arriving refugees in Rochester. Website: https://saintsplace.org. n Sweet Charity Resale Boutique & Shop in Fairport. Proceeds from Sweet Charity Resale Boutique & S h o p p ro v i d e c o n s i s t e n t , year-round income for Advent

House, allowing Advent House to remain a calm and comforting place for its residents and their families and friend. Website: www.theadventhouse. org/SweetCharity.htm. n A Second Thought Resale Shop in East Rochester. Proceeds support local programs and an international ministries program at Heritage Christian Services, which is made possible by volunteers who deliver wheelchairs, companionship and healthcare to families in Central America. Website: www. asecondthought.org. n The Tool Thrift Shop collects donated tools and resells them for very affordable prices. All proceeds are used to support services provided by Senior Options for Independence. Website: https:// toolthriftshop.org.

store or laundromat bulletin boards. If there are no regulations against doing so, posting signs on nearby corners is a must. Don’t forget to put a bright sign in front of your house, too. Balloons tied to your mailbox or a tree can also make your sale more visible.

Tips for success The bigger the sale, the more traffic you’ll get. Go in with family, friends and neighbors and hold one big sale rather than several small ones. Hold a street or subdivision-wide sale. This will draw people from surrounding areas. Move big items such as furniture or appliances into the driveway to attract passersby. Finally, have your items priced. Many people will walk away from a sale with nothing when things aren’t priced. They don’t want to make an offer that’s too low and might offend you. They also don’t want the hassle of having to ask the price for every little thing they might consider buying.

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55+ cover

Jazz Singer Nancy Kelly Slated to be inducted into the Rochester Music Hall of Fame this year, singer talks about music, local roots, COVID-19 and the urge to perform By John Addyman

pend a little time with Nancy Kelly. Ask her to explain a song from the Great American Songbook. Listen while she talks about the lyrics of the song, about the rhythm of the music. Let the rhythm touch you. Think about the meaning of the words, and apply your own life experience to them. Decide how you’d speak those words to someone. Then watch as Kelly steps into a room and sings that song … and you’ll never think about a song the same way again. Nancy Kelly, 70, is a jazz singer and her voice, personality and verve serve to construct a New York treasure. She is on deck to be inducted into the Rochester Music Hall of Fame, whenever that body can meet again.

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S h e ’ s b e e n w a i t i n g a y e a r. COVID-19 has erased a lot of her plans. “How can you plan anything when 40% of the country won’t get a shot, much less put a mask on?” she said from her home studio in Fair Haven. When COVID-19 fell on us, it erased the Hall of Fame induction and Kelly’s booking a European tour. Singing since she was 13, playing a piano since she was 4, and picking up a lot of other instruments along the way, Kelly has built a career that criss-crosses the state, the country and the globe. And she’s done it her way, with six acclaimed CDs, a wall full of awards, including Downbeat magazine’s Best Female Vocalist (twice), Hall of Fame

recognition from the Syracuse Area Music Awards, many more individual honors — even an Unsung Heroine Award from the National Organization of Women. Looking back, she couldn’t help herself from being thrust into a world where an audience would focus on her for an evening. She was raised in a Rochester home where dad, Orville “OP” Kelly, was a Honeywell engineer who was into acoustics and built his own highdefinition speakers to listen to jazz. Mom, Rose, played the piano and loved Fats Waller tunes. Granddad had a society band in Rochester. Uncle Charlie played music for a living. Sister Lynne and brother Gene watched Kelly develop.

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“There was always music around me, all the time,” Kelly said. By age 3 or 4, “I would hear my mother play something on the piano and just go over and play it … play it by ear. They hooked me up with a great piano teacher. I took lessons from a woman who had been at Julliard — she was wonderful. She took me as far as she could. They told me I was at college level at age 13.”

Teen years But then things changed dramatically. The teenage Nancy Kelly fell under the spell of John, Paul, George and Ringo. Her mom bought her a guitar and Kelly learned to play it. And drums. And bass. She got together with three girlfriends and started a band. “We were horrible, but we were cute,” she said. “I got bamboozled into singing.” Bandleader Bill Hooper saw her at one performance and asked her to jump bands. “That was the start of my journey. I wanted to play tunes my way. I never wanted to play what was on the sheet of music — I wanted to play my own stuff. Everyone knew early on I wanted to be an improvisational musician.” Her independence led to a young marriage and daughter, Kellie, but her career was starting to sprout. The young family moved to Shortsville, where Kellie could get a lot of attention from family. “I chased around after a band called October Young, a Rochester rock band. I wanted very much to play for them, which never happened. They broke up and we formed our own group ’Crackers.’ Then came a second group, ‘Pearl Alley.’ We toured up and down the East Coast, the Midwest; I was singing light rock. We were all kids.” She and Kellie moved to the Albany area when Kelly was talked into singing for Merlin’s Minstrels. “They were very, very popular,” Kelly said. “It was not uncommon to have 1,000 people at the show. We played up and down the corridor of Saratoga, Troy and Albany. It was a real, working band. “One night I was in the club, a pianist came in and said to me he had just come off the road with the Jimmy 28

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Dorsey orchestra. He said to me, ‘You know, you could sing jazz. You have great ears.’ “I said ‘OK,’ and came back to Rochester, where he proceeded to teach me all the standards. That’s when I sang with Jim Richmond’s band, Saratoga, with Oliver Wiggins. I did my Rickie Lee Jones thing and sang ‘Chuck E’s in Love’ and people went crazy.” That was in the late 1970s, said Richmond. “She is a true talent and one of the best jazz vocalists anywhere! She was a real crowd favorite. We have remained friends and stay in touch with each other and being a board member for the Rochester Music Hall of Fame, I am thrilled that she will be inducted as soon as this COVID leaves or dies down.”

Hire on the spot In her music progression, Kelly found another mentor, Joey Santora. “He got me going with jazz,” she said. Now in Philadelphia, she and Santora started a new band, ‘Rage,’ that toured in the Philly-Atlantic City area. Then again, Kelly found herself back in Rochester, eventually meeting two guys from Syracuse to begin the Nancy Kelly trio that nailed down a four-year weekend gig at Sakura’s Japanese Restaurant in Syracuse. “It was standing room only on weekends,” she said. She had also settled for almost the last time in Fair Haven, in what had been the summer home for her grandparents. The house was the former Portmaster’s House, the old North Fair Haven Post Office. “I love it here,” she said. “It hasn’t been good for my career, but I love it. I’m close to my family, my grandson, Graham, is here. You have to choose between your family and your music sometimes.” By now she had started to develop a career that was thriving in Rochester and in Syracuse, but another trip to Philadelphia really opened things up. “I met a fellow who was up here summering. We moved to Wilmington, Delaware, and I went looking for work. I marched my little butt straight into a jazz club in Philly, a Black jazz club, ‘Jewels.’ And I found something out. Here in New York, we’re used to diversity. I didn’t realize the further south you go, the more segregated

Singing since she was 13, playing a piano since she was 4, and picking up a lot of other instruments along the way, Kelly has built a career that criss-crosses the state, the country and the globe. things get. I didn’t know that. I walked right in the club. Anybody who knows me knows I’m a little fearless. And then I asked the organ player if I could sit in. If I had a picture of the look on his face, it would be worth millions. ‘Yeah, right – she wants to sit in,’ he said. And I did, and I became the house singer for four years. I was hired on the spot.” That was 1986. Someone sent a cassette tape of Kelly’s singing to Jeff Tyzik, who was producing records for Doc Severinsen and would become familiar to Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra fans later on. Tyzik shared the tape with Lenny Silver of Amherst Records in Buffalo. “Lenny adored me,” Kelly said. “He put a lot of money in me. We went out to Hollywood to produce my first record. It was a thrilling, thrilling thing. My first album is called ‘Live Jazz’ and that’s what Lenny wanted to do. I’m one of those singers who’s better live than recorded. Some people just do better live. Lenny wanted to put an audience in the studio and make it feel like it was being recorded live. There was very little editing on that record — what you heard, happened. I was very young, courageous.” People connected with that young, courageous voice and the album reached 11th on the Billboard charts. Charlie Graziano, the manager for the Spyrogyra jazz group, was tasked to get Kelly jobs. “It’s a timing thing,” she explained. “As your record goes up, you have to be working, but he never got me any work. That whole record climbed and fell. I’ve been struggling ever since.

I’ve been groveling to get back where that was. Lenny did two more records with me (‘Singin’ & Swingin’ in 1997 and ‘Born to Swing’ in 2006) but didn’t put the money in those that he did on that first record.” But her songs were getting played, and Kelly started touring. Two threemonth residencies in Japan followed where she sang in the country’s jazz clubs. She sang in Hong Kong, Indonesia, Turkey, Switzerland, Thailand and was planning that European tour when the coronavirus changed everything. She traveled with a pianist who chose the other accompanist by location, filling out Kelly’s trio. That was Dino Losito’s role over a period of 30 years. Three more CDs came out — “Well, Alright” in 2009, “B That Way” in 2014 (eight weeks in the top 50 Jazzweek charts), and most recently, ‘Remembering Mark Murphy’ in 2019 on the Syracuse-born SubCat label.

Studios in East Rochester Singing in person, Kelly is a force. Losito saw it first hand. “She has a big personality, an eye-catching stage presence. She’s not a docile little woman. Lots of singers have wonderful voices, but what’s different with Nancy is what she brings to the music. She has more of a raw approach, a little more on the cusp, spontaneous, on-the-edge excitement.” Kelly’s singing, as described by drummer Rick Montalbano, is “big, swinging and flashy, then suddenly thoughtful and intimate. Always warm and humorous too. She loves doing it March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

and it’s the best thing she knows how to do. Her music spurs people on and in turn they spur her on further. Nancy moves people. She seeks sounds that are fresh to her ears and of course, it’s a lot about the spaces, because you’ve got to play those too. But at its best, it’s about her heart.” T h a t a p p ro a c h t o m u s i c i s something Kelly teaches to a couple dozen vocal students each month. She has studios in East Rochester and SubCat in Syracuse, and can easily log 500 miles of highway a week getting to the lessons. She teaches technique and heart and listening — and urges experience. “I’ve learned so much from black musicians who couldn’t read music,” she said. “Jazz is a conversation between instruments,” and her voice is one of those instruments. “It’s no different than standing in a room with four people,” she explained. “They all have read books on a certain subject. They’re well-read. Then you get together and discuss that in a democratic, peaceful way, while voicing your opinions that complement the conversation: that’s what jazz is. We study the music all our lives. We have renewed the language when we get together with similar musicians. “There are all kinds of jazz musicians not everyone feels the

music like I do. I find people who feel the same way about the subject but have their own life experiences that they bring to the table when we play. When I’m recording a record, I know who belongs on that record. Who fits.” For her students, learning dialect begins with one song, “Route 66.” She teaches familiarity with 12-bar blue progressions, then how to do speech singing, because you don’t sing “Route 66,” you speak it. Then she helps students understand all the options there are for improvisation — real jazz singing. “My main focus with students is teaching them to listen to the chords. ‘Where are you?’ I ask. ‘What’s in the room with you? What are those chords doing? Where are they moving? Where are you going to find your note in that chord?’ Getting people to listen is big to me, really big. Be aware of your music surroundings. “The song is a room, an environment. You’re in a virtual environment, things are going on. ‘What do you hear? What do you feel?’ There is so much to that, it’s almost another dimension,” Kelly said. Her students investigate all the roots of American music. She talks about lyrics, telling the story. “When I go off on a riff, I do it because that’s what the lyric did to me,” she said. And in her students, she instills the truth in a song — what

the composer was trying to do, and what the singer can do from the heart. As an example, she listed Billie Holiday’s “God Bless the Child,” and how that same tune has been handled by so many others, each with their own imprint (for example, Whitney Houston, Annie Lennox, Stevie Wonder, George Benson with Al Jarreau and Jill Scott, Aretha Franklin, Sonny Rollins, Steve Miller, Oleta Adams, Tony Bennett, Anita Baker and David Peaston – among many others). Right now, with her explosive laugh and sanguine good humor, Nancy Kelly is itching to perform and worries about how long she’ll have to wait for the next opportunity. Her calendar, beyond the vocal lessons, is empty and COVID-19 is the villain. “Nancy and I are both big on making the music feel good and swinging,” Losito said. “She’s great to play with in that regard. She is very sensitive to that. We all play off the energy of the crowd, especially in jazz. Swing music is built for dancers to get up and have a good time. When we’re doing something they like, they holler out. That keeps us playing. We’re missing out on people and their feedback.” That pandemic thing. “People are afraid to do things,” Kelly said. ‘We just don’t know how this is going to unfold.”

Zooming With Nancy Kelly

Writer John Addyman interviews jazz singer Nancy Kelly on Zoom. 30

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hile trying to set up an interview with Nancy Kelly for this cover story, it became obvious that distance, weather and COVID-19 were going to be issues. After a week of trying to make arrangements, we settled on a Zoom interview — the first I’ve ever done. As a rookie Zoomer I was pretty concerned about some technical thing blowing up in the middle of the interview. I always try to be as prepared as possible to make the interviews go professionally and quickly — people’s time is valuable — and I didn’t want to look like a hoo-hah bumbling through the thing while I tried to fix a technical issue I couldn’t begin to understand.

No worries. Nancy was not only a vivacious interview, she is technically proficient, and promised that if I screwed up, she would save me. God bless capable, charitable women. In the hour and a half we spoke, she searched the internet, took pictures, checked email and kept the conversation light and informative — and Zoom never wavered, never hiccupped. I even managed to record the thing. Marvy. To c o m m e m o r a t e m y departure from rookie status, Nancy grabbed screen shots of our interview: she in her Fair Haven home, and me in my Newark home. And here they are. By John Addyman

55+ migrane

Kathy O’Shea holding her book, “So Much More Than a Headache: Understanding Migraine through Literature.”

So Much More Than a Migraine Kathy O’Shea has lived with migraine for more than 40 years. She wrote a book about it By Christine Green

athy O’Shea had her first migraine when she was just 14 years old. More than 40 years later migraines are still a part of her life. “I’ve still not come to determine whether it lives inside me or it lives alongside me,” she said of the disease. “But it’s a life force, I think and like an entity in and of itself. It’s certainly a major part of who I am.” O’Shea, 57, of Irondequoit, recently published her first book,

“So Much More Than a Headache: Understanding Migraine through Literature” (Kent State University Press 2020). It’s a collection of essays, poetry and short fiction about migraines. The idea for the anthology first came to her a little more than three years ago when she was dealing with an intractable migraine. An intractable migraine is a period of migraine pain that lasts more than several days and does not respond well

to medication. This particular migraine lasted for almost three months. “I thought, ‘I have got to do something positive with all this,’ because I was depressed. I was extremely stressed and anxious. I wasn’t enjoying my work. I thought, ‘I’ve got to take this experience and do something good with it.’” O’Shea, an English and philosophy professor at Monroe Community College for more than 30 years, decided to “take my love of literature and my experience with literature and combine it with the life force that has been with me for 40 some years.” Thus, began her deep dive into the literature of headache and migraine. She was astounded by the sheer number of writers who have written about their experience. Emily Dickinson, Virginia Woolf, Jane Austen and countless other creatives through the ages have dealt with the debilitating pain that accompanies a life with migraine. She weaves each selection together with her own short essays to create a deeply-moving narrative about every aspect of migraine from the premigraine aura, the almost indescribable pain itself, the societal misconceptions of the disease, the daily management of doctors and appointments and medications and the strange and sometimes euphoric postdrome or migraine “hangover.” Writer Anna Leahy is the director of the Master of Fine Arts degree program in creative writing at Chapman University in California. Her essay, “Half-Skull Days,” concludes the volume. Leahy describes O’Shea’s skillful organization of the collection as an “orchestration.” “When she contacted me, it was because she had already been reading for the anthology. And so, I got the sense that she knew exactly why she wanted my essay in the book, where she wanted it in the book, and what purpose it would serve, which indicates that she knew how the book was shaping up and how the book was moving from one piece to another. And so, I think she really had a vision for - I don’t want to say story because it’s not narrative exactly - but a vision for how March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

this was going to be orchestrated. And maybe orchestra is a good analogy, because these are really movements for migraine. It does work more like an orchestra, with many different instruments and different pieces. I’m not an expert in music but it seems to me that that’s a good analogy for how she looked at the book as an orchestration, rather than editing per se,” she said. The result is a symphony of creative writing that helps readers understand the complexity of life with migraines. Some of that complexity stems from the misconception that “it’s just a headache,” which can lead to many sufferers feeling a sense of invisibility or erasure. “What Kathy tried to emphasize is that migraine many times is an invisible disease,” said neurologist Joseph Mann. “The migraine brain is different than the brain of other people. There’s increased sensitivity to light, sound, odors, changes in the environment, changes for women with hormonal changes. For men there are hormonal changes as well as being more involved with stress and other issues.” Mann started his career as a general neurologist in the 1970s. But in the 1990s he became a headache specialist. “Migraine runs in my family. My mother and her sisters and cousins and grandparents and even my two daughters now have migraines. So, it was a natural fit for me,” he said. He is retired now but works one day a week with Rochester Clinical Research. He met O’Shea when she became his patient many years ago. “So Much More Than a Headache is dedicated” to Mann. Many people are completely unaware of the neurological differences Mann mentioned and cannot comprehend the level of pain many experience sometimes while carrying on with daily tasks. This pervasive misunderstanding has led to a widespread stigma associated with migraines. “Many people don’t believe that you have migraines. They doubt it, you develop the stigma,” said Dr. Mann. “Same thing with even a spouse after a while. You start complaining because it sounds like you’re a hypochondriac. But for many people, migraine becomes a very chronic disorder and

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becomes very burdensome and very worrisome.” Sometimes this stigma can embed itself among the medical professionals. O’Shea asked her current neurologist why it was difficult to find headache specialists in Rochester. “She told me that it was because of the stigma attached to migraine. And because it’s considered a ‘woman’s illness.’” When asked who the audience was for the book, O’Shea said, “It’s your family. It’s your friends. It’s your coworkers. It’s the general public.” She went on to say that this book isn’t any sort of self-help book. Indeed, there is no secret recipe or special advice in the collection. For migraineurs it’s about finding support through connection. O’Shea writes: “My hope is that this collection offers migraineurs some solace in knowing they are not alone, some comfort when they feel weak and helpless in their pain, some assurance that so many others have traveled their path or one close to it, and, ultimately, some recognition of the moments of appreciation they feel when experiencing ‘time off’ from the disease.” (page xix)

For others, it is about cultivating empathy. “I think the general public needs to be educated. Not that this is a book that educates, but it creates empathy. The general public needs to have more empathy toward this disease,” said O’Shea. Dr. Mann wholeheartedly agreed. “If people read this book and see through literature what the complaints are, what it is, what it feels like, how it affects people, they will have more empathy,” he said. Leahy believes that books like O’Shea’s help readers connect on a deeper level to humanity. “It’s about human experience, a shared human experience. And it allows us to connect with each other and understand what it means to be human, even when it’s painful,” Leahy said. To learn more about O’Shea, visit her website at migrainelit.com where she also maintains a blog about migraines. So Much More Than a Headache is out now and available through local and national booksellers.

55+ real estate

always add to your list or amend it. But it serves as a blueprint to narrow your search and help keep you on track. When you find a home that wows you, look at your criteria to make sure the house has all or most of your must-haves. If it doesn’t, maybe you’ll decide your criteria have changed, and this home is just what you want. On the other hand, it might also bring you back down to earth and encourage you to continue searching for a home that better suits your needs.

How much can you afford?

Home Buying Tips How to avoid a costly mistake and find your perfect home By Kimberly Blaker

uying a home is often a highly emotional experience. It begins with the exciting prospect of finding your perfect home and the exhilarating idea of new beginnings. But as the hunt progresses, it can become an emotional roller coaster. After viewing many homes, you might fear you’ll never find the right home. You may experience anxiety over whether you’ll find a home within your budget — or because you’ve fallen in love with a home that’s outside your budget. When you find the perfect house, you’ll be dealing with frustration if another buyer beats you to the punch. When you do make an offer, you may be worried you offered too little or too much. You’ll also experience disappointment if your offer is rejected. But once you’ve closed on your home and you’re confident you made the right decision, you’ll rejoice — and bask knowing it was worth every bit of the turbulent ride. Still, there’s no greater stress than making the mistake of buying a home that, for any number of reasons, you come to regret. So follow these recommendations to get you started on the right foot and help you stay

on course in finding your perfect (or near-perfect) home.

Before you begin shopping

The first thing to do is to make a list of your objectives. Are you trying to reduce your work commute? Is there a particular school district you’d like your kids to attend? What about proximity to shopping or recreation? Also, think about the specific features you want in a home. Would you like a larger garage, finished basement, fenced yard, low maintenance lawn, a certain number of bedrooms and bathrooms, a walk-in shower, an updated kitchen, ample closet space, or a home that’s turn-key ready? Make your list as detailed as possible. Now, go through the list again. Next to each item, mark if it’s a musthave, prefer-to-have, or nice but not necessary. The reason for creating this list and then breaking it down is two-fold. First, buying a home is a significant investment. The home you ultimately choose is going to affect your lifestyle. Since there’s seldom a home with every feature a buyer wants, you should prioritize what’s most important to you. As you begin your search, you can

Determining this is a two-step process. First, prepare a budget and figure out how much you can comfortably spend each month on mortgage and interest payments, property taxes, and homeowner’s insurance. Also, consider whether there’ll be a substantial difference in your monthly utilities. Include an allowance for home repairs and maintenance as well. Second, you need to get prequalified through your bank or a mortgage company. Despite what you think you can afford, a lender will ultimately determine the maximum you can afford. So don’t risk getting your hopes up on a particular home until you know how much a lender will loan you. Another reason to get pre-qualified is that most real estate agents won’t show homes to prospective buyers until they’ve been pre-qualified.

Getting started in your search

Now you’re ready to find a real estate agent. Working with an agent has multiple advantages. First, real estate companies have access to the MLS system, the database in which all homes listed by real estate agencies appear. They’re only able to access the MLS for listings within their own MLS region, however. If you’re moving to a new area, choose an agent in the area where you’ll be relocating. Another important reason to work with an agent is so you’ll have someone to represent you and advance your interests. It’s true if you find a home and want to put in an offer, you can ask the listing agent to write up and submit your offer. When choosing an agent, a couple of factors to consider are customer reviews and whether the real estate agent is willing to sign an exclusive March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

buyer ’s agency contract. Under an exclusive buyer’s agency contract, the agent represents you, the buyer, rather than both buyer and seller. When you meet with an agent, make sure the agent feels like a good fit for you. The agent should ask plenty of questions to gain a solid understanding of what you’re looking for in a home. Also, find out if the agent is available to show homes during your usual hours of availability. Finally, be cautious of high-pressure tactics to get you to sign an exclusive contract. Ultimately, you’ll want to do this when you find the right agent. But if you’re not comfortable with the agent, be prepared to say you need time to think about it and stand your ground.

The home inspection

Once you’ve made an offer, getting a home inspection is a crucial step. This will help ensure you’re making a sound buying decision. Unfortunately, too many homebuyers learn the hard way that inspectors are not required to be licensed or have any special skills or training in many states.

You can ask your agent for a recommendation. But unless you’re confident your agent is someone you can trust, this may not be the best option. Unfortunately, a few agents favor less thorough inspectors to avoid the risk of too many uncovered issues during an inspection, which could cause a sale to fall through. So do your homework before hiring an inspector. Ask about their qualifications and how long they’ve been in business. Also, check with the Better Business Bureau and online reviews. A knowledgeable, skilled inspector will look at every aspect of the home, including windows, foundation, attic, roof, plumbing, electrical components, and much more. Your inspector should alert you to all defects, big and small. He should also note any aging features that could require repair or replacement in the not so distant future.

Tips to ensure you don’t make a decision you regret

Regardless of what the bank says you can afford or if an agent pushes you to go higher, you’re the best judge

of what’s really within your budget. Don’t make a decision you’re not confident you can afford. Remember, your financial well-being and lifestyle are on the line. Don’t get impatient. Sometimes it takes a while to find just the right home. Although you may never find a home with everything you’ve ever dreamed of, make sure it meets enough of the right criteria so you can live happily in your home for some time to come. When you do find the perfect home, don’t drag your feet. If it’s a buyer’s market in particular, or merely a desirable home, it might get snatched up before you act. If you see flaws that’ll require costly repair, weigh it out carefully before making your offer. Finally, once you make an offer, try not to get your heart too set on the home until it’s been inspected. That way, if the report comes back reflecting costly repairs, you’ll be able to make a wise decision on whether to proceed or back out.

Carolyn Stiffler

NYS Associate RE Broker, ABR, AHWD, ePro, GREEN, MRP, PSA, SFR, SRES

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SENIOR Real Estate Specialist (SRES) Reverse Mortgage ~ Reverse Purchase for SENIORS GREEN Certified Investing in Real Estate and Starting with a Plan First Time Home Buyers Divorce Sensitive and Non-Partial Domestic Partners/Buying, Selling or Downsizing Pricing Strategy Advisor Military Relocation Professional ( MRP)

Office: 585-279-8064

55+ gardening

Starting Seedlings Getting an early start on gardening By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

hough the snow may still fly for a while, it is not too early to grow seedlings to plant this spring. But timing is everything. “The number one problem most people run into while starting plants indoors in the wintertime is too early of a start date,” said Jay Nicholson, general manager of Frear’s Garden Center in Rochester. “They believe the earlier the start the more mature and the better season they’ll have with their plants. However, more often than not, the plants are stressed from being inside under limited sun and nonideal conditions to where they do not prosper.” Nicholson suggests working backwards on the calendar from the date of last chance of frost based upon the Farmers’ Almanac or consulting with the local Cornell Cooperative Extension for advice. Refer to the seed packet for how long it takes for seeds

to germinate. It may be tempting to plant indoors too early because greenhouses have been operating for a couple of months; however, Nicholson said that is because they can adapt their environment to suit their seedlings’ needs. How long it takes plants to mature before they may be planted outdoors makes a difference. “You need to know how long it takes for the seed to germinate and then grow on for a short period of time so it’s sturdy enough to be put outside,” said Marci Muller, horticulture program leader for Cornell Cooperative Extension of Monroe County. For example, peppers are slow to start, but tomatoes and cucumbers grow quickly and if they spend too long in starter trays, they tend to get spindly. “Some seeds start so quickly that

Herbs sprouted in reused containers flourish on a home. there is no reason to start inside, like squash and beans,” Muller said. “We typically start inside plants that take longer. When we take them outside, we want an established plant already.” Some fast-growing and cold tolerant plants are not worth growing inside, like lettuce, squash, beans, cabbage and peas. They grow so quickly that it’s easier to plant their seeds outdoors. “You should probably start peppers in March,” Muller said. “The others, you could put off until the end of March.” Muller recommends planting one to two seeds in each cell of a small fiber pack containing seed starter mix. She said that the lightweight mix has good porosity and avoids drowning the developing roots. “Cover it with plastic to hold the moisture in,” she said. “That can keep it warmer. If you aren’t somewhere where it will be 60 or 65 degrees, you can put it on a heat mat so you’re warming the soil. You water it and cover it with plastic and you shouldn’t need to water it again until everything starts to pop up. You don’t want to over water it.” Once the seedlings pop up, remove the plastic off and keep them March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

in a sunny window. If they start to outgrow the cell, the seedlings may be transplanted into a larger container. “If they start to get leggy, pinch where the top leaves are,” Muller said. “When things warm up, put the seedlings outside during the day but bring in if it gets below 40. That will toughen the plants up. When we get closer to mid-May and they’re ready to plant, they’ll be nice and sturdy.” Peat pots or fiber pots should be broken up before planting to ensure the roots can get to the soil. If the pots dry out and do not break down, the roots cannot go through properly. Nicky Martell, flower mall manager at The Garden Factory in Rochester, recommends keeping indoor seedlings near a heat vent and in direct sunlight. “If you don’t have a sunny, bright location, grow lights are an effective tool,” she said. “You could use a regular lamp with a grow light bulb. The UV in them is different.” Joe Edmond, greenhouse manager at Green Acre Farm & Nursery in Rochester, advises keeping an eye on the weather before taking seedlings out to plant. “Every year is different,” he said. “You have to get past the threat of frost. Broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, lettuces and chards will tolerate cold temperatures. For flowers, you can start pansies by late March. Perennials you can start in early March and put in the ground before the threat of frost is over with.” Edmond recommends biodegradable containers for seedlings; however, those on a budget could recycle lidded containers from grocery store produce and bakery items to create a mini greenhouse. Since most of these have holes in the bottom, place them on a tray to avoid water spills. “Make sure they’re clear-lidded,” Edmond added. “If they have frosted lids, they don’t allow the light quality you’re looking for.” He is looking forward to a brisk gardening season if 2021 is anything like 2020. “A lot of gardeners last year were first time,” Edmond said. “The weather was as good of growing conditions as you could possibly have. I think a lot of people have realized that if you spend $2 on a tomato plant, it would have been $40 spent at the store.” 36

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55+ learning Adult Enrichment Classes Continue … Virtually By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

dult enrichment classes provide socialization opportunities for many older adults. Though school days are long gone for most, joining a class to learn more about an engaging subject is plain fun. When the pandemic hit in March, leaders at organizations such as Osher Lifelong Learning Institute and Oasis Rochester knew that enrichment classes could not continue; however, through online streaming, they have maintained a semblance of normality. “We realized we needed to try and stay true to our mission of promoting healthy aging through lifelong learning, active lifestyles and volunteer engagement,” said Ann Cunningham, Oasis Rochester director. “We made sure to maintain contact with our participants frequently as a way to remain engaged and informational during such a difficult time.” Oasis turned to the Zoom platform to deliver its programs to participants. The national Oasis organization put together a YouTube tutorial on how to use Zoom. By partnering with Spiro 100, Oasis began offering a free trial of their exercise videos. By May, Oasis Rochester offered Zoom classes in dance (ballet, jazz and tap) exercise, history, the arts and music (Oasis Community Chorus, piano and music theory), languages (German and French), health, wellness and personal development. “While our participants miss being together in person, we open classes 15 minutes early and it has been a wonderful time for reconnecting and community building,” Cunningham said. “We will continue offering classes via Zoom and anticipate a hybrid opening — in-person socially distanced and masked as well as via Zoom — this fall.”

The national Oasis organization has begun to partner with all the local Oasis centers to present online content stemming from all the centers. This enables participants to join classes that would formerly be held beyond their own city. A list of Oasis’ classes is available at www3.oasisnet.org/Rochester-NY/ Classes. A similar pivot is taking place at YMCA of Greater Rochester (www. rochesterymca.org). “The Y dove into the virtual world, bringing workouts directly to people at home with exercise classes and workout tips, first through Facebook live and now with a new platform, Virtual YMCA,” said Kevin Fitzpatrick, chief operation officer, YMCA of Greater Rochester. Virtual YMCA allows members to stay connected with access to a wide variety of group exercise classes and workouts, included as a new member benefit with their membership. A new category on the Virtual YMCA — active older adults — offers exercise classes geared specifically toward seniors to promote better balance and strength. “The pandemic has been isolating for many people, especially our active older adults,” Fitzpatrick said. “At the Y, we believe in building a healthy mind, body and spirit. As we reopened, we wanted to make sure that all our members had opportunities to exercise and socialize, safely.” T h e Y M C A’ s p o l i c i e s a n d procedures include new air filtration systems, advanced registration to avoid overcrowding, markings to allow for physical distance among members. Shifting to Zoom classes “has gone very well,” said Karen Arrighetti, vice chairwoman of marketing for Osher

Lifelong Learning Institute. Osher closed its doors in March like everyone else, and in about three weeks, began its spring semester of adult enrichment classes on Zoom. Arrighetti said that a few members dropped off because they were not interested in engaging through technology; however, overall, the response has been positive and has been a benefit in surprising ways. “We’ve increased membership in states as far away as Montana,” Arrighetti said. “One joined us from Nigeria. Her two sons attend RIT and she saw on the RIT newsletter about Osher and she joined. We hope to expand it more.” Going virtual has also helped include more people who do not drive or limit their driving to daytime hours or clear weather — a big factor in the older age range that Osher tends to draw. Remote classes help Osher expand how many may sign up. Arrighetti also said that people no longer must choose between coinciding classes. Since the virtual classes are recorded and available online for two weeks, members can take both classes by watching one later. “Some would take two to three classes and now they average four to five because they don’t have to drive,” she said. Recording classes also helps accommodate members living in different time zones. For these reasons, Arrighetti said Osher will continue offering classes online. “We’re trying to think of new strategies and ways to make people feel welcome even if they can’t come in person,” she said. Osher does not anticipated offering any in-person programming any earlier than summer and more likely the fall, depending upon how the pandemic goes. “Our population is particularly at risk so we need to be more careful,” Arrighetti said. She added that the socializing participants engaged in before and after class was not recognized as important until they could no longer meet in person. Now, “It’s something that people appreciate even more on Zoom,”Arrighetti said. “Because we allow members to create special interest groups, you can

get involved. Other people can share that and you can create your own groups. People can evolve something they have an interest in. The social aspect is under played.” Like the others, Adam Traub, associate director with Monroe County Library System, said that h i s o rg a n i z a t i o n ’ s e n r i c h m e n t programming ground to a halt last March at the 20 independent member libraries. Most of these began offering virtual programming for patrons by April. “At the Central Library, we’ve had virtual talks with authors,” Traub said. “We also have a really popular writing club. The librarian wanted to keep it going so they’ve been meeting regularly virtually.” The library has also offered online video premiers, guest speakers, and craft groups with take-away materials ready for pickup at the branch. To appeal to patrons’ interests sparked during the quarantine, “we started some clubs like a cooking club and a gardening club, which has gotten some nice play. We have been posting weekly cooking challenges so people would get on and show what they did. That had quit a big of activity.” The libraries also offer streamed story time for children, which may give caregiving grandparents a break. Some of the stories are offered bilingually, which can help grandparents share their native language. “If you have a story time you tune into with your grandkids and if the librarian isn’t there to post, you can click on another library’s story time,” Taub said. To keep bookworms reading, most

area libraries have offered curbside pick-up and delivery. The libraries have also checked in with patrons to see if they would be interested in e-books. “Some are hesitant about it, but we’ve had a few ‘converts,’” Taub said. “They’re excited to see they can increase the print size and won’t need large print books. We also drive over and deliver a ton of books to congregant living centers. We’ve been continuing that service to make sure that they have support.” Some branches offer subject bags so a patron could call and ask for books on woodworking and then pick up the curated books curbside. Taub said that many patrons have expressed that they miss the community feel of in-person classes and the opportunity to browse the stacks themselves. “Having an empty library is no fun for anybody,” he said. “Whether adult or children’s programming, the virtual classes don’t have the same, personal touch.” Monroe Community College has about 150 learners aged 55 and older every semester. Christine CasalinuovoAdams, associate vice president of Enrollment Management at Monroe Community College, said that a hybrid of in-person and online classes has helped reduce the campus’ population density. “As the well-being of our students and employees is our foremost priority, MCC continues to take appropriate, preventive actions to maintain a healthy and safe learning environment, in compliance with New York state and Monroe County directives,” she said. In the fall semester, 62% of those in the 55-plus age range chose online classes. MCC’s enrichment classes include health/wellness, physical fitness and dance. “With various distance-learning options available to match different learning styles, needs and preferences, MCC is ready to help learners successfully navigate the virtual world,” Casalinuovo-Adams said. The school’s Student Technology Help Desk offers help in accessing technology needed for online classes, along with its “How to Zoom 101” video, in which an MCC peer navigator helps people become familiar with using Zoom. March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

55+ housekeeping

Don’t Want to Keep Up With Housekeeping? Third-party services help support aging in place By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

f housekeeping becomes too difficult to manage physically for you or an older adult in your care, you have options for help that can make a big difference in quality of life and in the ability to age in place. “An unkempt environment is usually the first sign that a senior is in need of help,” said Debra Kostiw, owner of No Place Like Home Senior Care in Henrietta. “There may be laundry piling up, floors that need mopping, cluttered countertops, items on the floor, tripping hazards, spoiled food, bed linens unchanged, odor of urine, pet odors, over-used litter, dirty dishes in the sink and overflowing trash.” Tackling all of that while struggling with arthritis or recovery from illness, injury or surgery can prove too

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difficult. No Place Like Home provides light housekeeping, pet care, personal care, medication reminders, meal preparation, companionship, memory care and errand running. “Seniors want to stay independent and should be treated with the dignity and respect they deserve,” Kostiw said. After providing an assessment, No Place Like Home sets up a weekly cleaning schedule with the client to maintain a clean home. Clean-up issues such as mold remediation or pests or home repair issues are referred to other services. Then No Place Like Home can return for maintenance cleaning. For minor issues of clutter, Kostiw’s staff helps clients. The biggest hurdle isn’t the cleaning tasks. It’s working with the

client to let her staff do the work. For many, they feel they must clean up before the cleaner arrives. Kostiw understands that urge. “I’ve done that myself when I had a cleaning service,” she said. “I felt I had to pick up first. I reassure clients that everyone needs help. I do not want them to feel embarrassed. I’ve seen a lot worse. We’re here to work as a team and I want them to think of me as their captain. I come first to do a meet-and-greet. Seniors in need of housekeeping typically need some other things like someone checking on them for medication and showering and keeping up with the refrigerator.” She believes that listening to their needs is the most important element of what she does. Kostiw said that oftentimes, their adult children tend to assume what is needed instead of listening. “A lot of times, people don’t realize their house needs some upkeep,” Kostiw said. Decline of muscle tone, mobility, eyesight and s diminished sense of smell can hamper the ability to detect issues and to do much about them. “Sometimes they don’t realize they have a problem,” Kostiw said. “In most cases, they do want to know. It’s not an

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easy conversation to have but they’re grateful someone told them.” Services such as Health and Wellness Referral Services in Leicester help older adults in Livingston and Monroe counties with their needs through vetted independent contractors. These services include cleaning, non-emergency transportation, cooking, and nonmedical elder companionship. Tom Cicero, co-owner of Health and Wellness Referral Services, said that the business was established in 1987 because his 83-year-old grandmother began needing help with her home. Until she received outside help, she had been walking down a few cellar steps and then crawling up them to get down on the floor to clean it. He finds good matches for the needs and location of the client, who pay a fee for his referral. The client and worker negotiate pay rates, times and duties. “We handle minor tasks that they can no longer do,” Cicero said. “It keeps the person in their home.” Many elder services are listed at https://211lifeline.org/family.shtml

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55+ arts

Greg Rice translates a customer’s imagination into art, including beautiful handrails.

Lydia Boddie-Rice mixes mediums – photography, painting, and fabric, to create unique pieces.

A Marriage of Engineering, Creativity and Heart Greg Rice and Lydia Boddie-Rice combine their unique talents to make art come to life By Lynette M. Loomis

an science and art converge?

It seems quite reasonable to Lydia Boddie-Rice and her husband, Greg Rice. The two met through a mutual friend who was Lydia’s personal trainer and receptionist at the Center at High Falls in the mid ‘90s. He was the matchmaker who introduced the

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two at Gold’s Gym where they both worked out. They married in 2002. Their artistic synergy has resulted in beautiful works of art. The pair favor different mediums; the pair works with metal and BoddieRice with mixed media collage, primarily acrylic paint and fabric. “I approach art-making with spontaneity and purpose,”said Lydia.

“I embrace learning new techniques and I allow for the flow of ideas, mediums, and materials that contribute to the creation of statement pieces.” She often uses collage to unite disparate ideas and incorporate a variety of techniques. From realism and a tight illustrative style to integrating calligraphy, paint, fabric swatches and digital image manipulation, she enjoys using her own photography (or images from permissible sources) as a basis for exploring the application of a variety of drawing and painting techniques. As a former CEO, of Young Audiences of Rochester, a retiree of RG&E and a past member of the board of education for the Rochester City Schools, Lydia has extensive marketing and public relations experience. She uses her expertise in operations, marketing, and design (upon request) to support Rice’s for-profit business, Vance Curves Metal, and she assists

with fund raising for the Solar Car Project, a social entrepreneurship program which Rice founded more than a decade ago. Greg explains his role in the Solar Car Project. “I talk with kids about solar technology and some of the possibilities of solar-powered transportation. One of the goals is to show inner-city students the career opportunities available to them in engineering and sustainable technologies. We hope to keep the concepts and lessons we learn intriguing and applicable to daily life.” Greg previously worked at Rochester Products, Kodak and Jasco Tools and is now the owner of Vance Curves metal, established in 2001. “ We s p e c i a l i z e i n v i s u a l l y appealing metal structures that perform a specific function, from security, to durability, to improvement and repair,” Greg explained. He works with clients from ideas through design and fabrication in steel. His motto: “If you can think it, we can make it.” The work by the couple can be reached at www.vcwelding.net and www.boddieworkscreations.com.

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55+ book

From Nurse Practitioner to Novelist: Paul Mitchell Middlesex native’s book has Finger Lakes roots By Melody Burri

etired nurse practitioner Paul Mitchell’s “second chapter” career is turning out to be quite a page-turner. So is his first novel, “Mountains Can Move.” The piece, two years in the making and set in the Finger Lakes region, weaves the complex tale of a father and son torn apart by a dark secret. “I can’t say I have always wanted to be a writer,” said Mitchell. “I’m involved with the Middlesex Heritage Group and have contributed many historical essays to their newsletter over the years. But I never considered taking on a large project while I was still working.” But as he edged closer to retirement, Mitchell knew he had to have a strategy for the transition. Since he already enjoyed writing and had demonstrated a fair amount of aptitude, he enrolled in a few writing classes at Empire State College. “Over the three years prior to my retirement I completed a BA in writing,” said Mitchell. “This exposed me to many different kinds of writing and gave me a base knowledge of the story-making process.” His aspirations included becoming a regular contributor to local and national publications, but success was limited and the process was less than rewarding, he said. That’s when Mitchell turned to fiction. “‘Mountains Can Move’ grew out of a character in a short story I had started for a writing course,” said Mitchell. The book’s theme hit close to home for the retired nurse practitioner who’d started his own career as an aspiring

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photographer. “It’s the story of a frustrated artist, Albert, who had to put aside his own promising career to care for his family,” he said. The character, unlike Mitchell, didn’t handle that frustration well and alienated his family because of it. After living in Upstate New York for 60 years, Albert struggled to find a way to rebuild a bridge back into his son’s life, Mitchell said.

A new career For many aspiring authors, writing a novel may be fun to dream about, but difficult to see through to completion. It takes more sustained, disciplined hard work than they first imagined. “What kept me going through the process came from the way I approached it,” said Mitchell. “I put myself in the mindset that writing was going to be my next career. I didn’t think about retiring as much as I thought about starting a new job. I spent more than 30 years in health care. God willing, I’d like to spend the next 30 as a writer.” Once retired, Mitchell established a new schedule of writing to replace his old schedule as a nurse practitioner. “I tried my best to be at my desk several mornings a week and work into the afternoon,” he said. “In my mind, I didn’t call it writing. I called it working. I am not the most selfdisciplined person you will meet but this was effective even for me.” As time went on, Mitchell’s enthusiasm grew for his new job and the characters he’d created. “They became like a second family to me and I had to find out what

happened to them,” he said. “Although I had the entire novel outlined, you never know exactly what each turn in the road will bring.” Writing a novel actually gave Mitchell some insight into what schizophrenia might feel like, as his “alternate reality” was constantly banging away inside his head.

Encouragement Pressing on when the finish line is out of sight can be tough, said Mitchell. So encouragement from friends, family and professionals played a big role in his journey. “I had an editor who kept me going,” he said. “And I asked friends and relatives to read early drafts and they were encouraging. “Overcoming self-doubt is very hard,” said Mitchell. “At one point I hired a writer who didn’t know me well to comment. I actually hoped she would tell me the book was hopeless and shouldn’t be published so I could give up. But she was encouraging as well, so I persisted.” Self-publishing the book also turned out to be more complicated and

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Call us at 585-396-4554. frustrating than expected. But once again, Mitchell said he “had people to guide me and do the technical work to get that done. They were very supportive as well.” If social media and email comments are any indication, the response has been very positive. “What has been most satisfying is the wide range of readers who have enjoyed it,” said Mitchell. “It has quite an overt Christian message, but some of my biggest supporters are devout atheists. In fact, my editor is a-religious. “People love, like and heartily dislike the various characters,” he said. “Readers like the uplifting ending and the message of forgiveness. “And local people enjoy the many references to the Finger Lakes region and local landmarks,” said Mitchell. “One of my goals was to use this locale as one of the characters. I think the landscape and culture of this area shaped the lives and reactions of the other characters.”

Need to know For Mitchell, authoring a novel required a complete about face. “Writing is a solitary pursuit bordering on misanthropy,” said Mitchell. “For me it was a 180 degree change from my previous job as a healthcare provider. However, for intellectual stimulation I can’t think of anything better.” And it was a great chance to

continue learning. “I saw it as an extension of my writing education,” he said. “I looked at it as a self-taught master’s class. I spent several months reading books about writing before I started the novel itself. I finally settled on one and used it as a text book. I followed its steps for writing a novel almost to the letter. That is what gave the story its structure.” As is true for most novelists, “Mountains Can Move” required considerable research. “The main character is painted in the abstract expressionist style and his philosophy of life most resembles that of the existentialists,” said Mitchell. “Believe me, I was not an expert in either of those. So I spent many weeks studying those topics. It takes much more knowledge than what gets in the story to have confidence in what you reference.”

Advice for aspiring authors Establish a routine. The first step to writing, or retiring in general, is to find something that gives structure to your day, Mitchell said. “I really believe it’s key to look at retirement as changing professions rather than stopping working,” he said. “A related key is to allow yourself to take your new avocation seriously. You don’t have to punch a clock, but you have to make it a part of your daily life.” That’ll require a supportive spouse

and circle of friends, he said. In order for that to happen, one must communicate this idea of change rather than retirement to everyone. It’s a message that also brings accountability. “This doesn’t mean I don’t take time to be a husband, grandfather, gardener, hiker, keeper of alpacas, and photographer,” said Mitchell. “What it does mean is it gives me something to build these other interests around.” Some writers may have one novel inside them, just waiting to be written. Mitchell believes he has two, and has already started a prequel to “Mountains Can Move.” “It starts out in the late 1960s so it has been fun researching and remembering that era and tying it into the story,” he said. As he pounds out novel number two, Mitchell continues to enjoy the Middlesex hillside homestead and alpaca ranch he shares with his wife, Joan, also a retired health care worker. Mitchell is also an accomplished photographer who enjoys winemaking, history, and all things out-of-doors. “Mountains Can Move” is available in print or digital format on Amazon, Apple Books, KOBO, Scribd, Barnes and Noble, and Vivlio. It can also be found locally at Longs’ Cards & Books, Penn Yan; Cheshire Union, Cheshire; Artizanns, Naples; The Olde Country Store, Middlesex; and The General Store, Vine Valley.

March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

55+ adventure

Norwegian Sailor Comes to Western New York From Norway to Upstate New York: It’s a small world By Christine Green

f someone told you about an adventurer who confronted a deadly snake, armed pirates, and then survived a shipwreck, who would come to mind? If you guessed Indiana Jones or Jack Sparrow, you’d be wrong. All of this happened to Harald Solfjeld of Arendal, Norway. Solfjeld started a seven-year sailing voyage on June 12, 2010, aboard his boat the SS-Ilanga just two days before his 60th birthday. He sailed from Norway to the Faroe Islands, Iceland, Labrador then to New York City via Newfoundland. He then made his way up the Hudson River to Albany and put in at the Erie Canal. His travels along the Erie Canal are where the local portion of our adventurer’s story begins. In June of 2011 Solfjeld docked at Brockport. That’s when he met

55 PLUS - March / April 2021

Welcome Center volunteer, Bill Andrews. Andrews chatted with Solfjeld and called his friends, Lori and Gary Skoog. Lori Skoog, 77, a retired art teacher, recalled the phone call: “It was Father’s Day and we were taking Gary out to lunch. But, after getting a phone call from Bill Andrews who said we just had to meet him we made a stop at the canal. He was from Norway and sailed by himself to the US. Within five minutes we invited him to go to lunch with us.” Skoog was surprised by how quickly he agreed to join them for a meal. She told him, “‘You’re very trusting.’ And he said, ‘I can tell. I can tell about people very quickly and I feel comfortable going with you.’” Solfjeld said he knew right away that Brockport was a special place with kind people. “In Brockport, I was well-received by the Skoog family and

Harald Solfjeld, a Norwegian national, has been sailing the world for more than 10 years. He recently made a stop in Brockport. Photo by Lori Skoog I visited Norwegian Mr. Andrews. He treated me to Norwegian alcohol so I had more than enough to find my way back to the boat.” He continued on to Tonawanda to meet up with his wife and brother who flew in to join him on part of his trip. Solfjeld’s next stopover in Brockport a few weeks later included a visit to the Skoog farm where Lori and Gary have a variety of animals including several horses. His family also had the privilege of experiencing Brockport’s Summer Serenades, a weekly concert series canalside at the Welcome Center organized by Gary Skoog. Solfjeld said he and his brother happily danced on the dock while the band played in front of the SS-Ilanga. His time in Brockport couldn’t last forever and Solfjeld continued on. While this brief Western New York interlude during his journey doesn’t seem too adventurous, it is a memorable one for Solfjeld and the Skoogs. Solfjeld keeps in contact with the Skoogs and has invited them to visit him in Norway. He plans to come back to the Rochester area someday. “I have relatives on Long Island and also up in Connecticut, and I know a lot of people there. I will come, and I can take a tour of Brockport and Rochester when I’m there.” Seven more years of world travel lay ahead. Sometimes his wife or other family members joined him and other times he was alone. He visited Canada, Cuba, Mexico, Belize, Guatemala, Honduras, Colombia, Panama (that’s where the bushmaster snake stowed away on his boat. Don’t worry, he bested his opponent!), Galapagos, Easter Island, and Chile. He sailed around Cape Horn and then north again to Argentina, Uruguay, Brazil, French Guiana, and Suriname. It was during this leg of the trip in 2013 that he was accosted by Brazilian pirates. “I was sleeping and at three o’clock

in the morning, I heard something, and I looked out and [there were] two men with a mask and a revolver and a knife. And he says, ‘I kill you.’” Solfjeld worked for many years on oil rigs and was trained to keep negotiations going if such a situation ever arose. He spoke Spanish and they spoke Portuguese. Nonetheless, they managed a conversation. For hours they talked all while he was tied to his mast, knife to his throat, gun to his face and “in the mouth and the ear, and also a knife. And I feel that the knife was not sharp, and I was thinking if they start cutting with that knife, it will not be so good!” Eventually they took what they wanted and left him alone. He wrangled his way out of the ropes and made it to the mainland. Unharmed and in no way ready to throw in the towel just because of one deadly snake and dangerous pirates, he continued on to the Caribbean and surrounding islands then to Columbia and once again through the Panama Canal in 2014. At Shelter Bay Marina, at the Caribbean entrance to the Panama Canal, Solfjeld overheard a conversation where a woman asked another tourist if they had ever been in Brockport. They said they had not but Solfjeld was “on the other side of the dock with a Norwegian flag. And I say, ‘I have been there!’” And that is how the story comes full circle back to a Western New York connection. Peggy Hale, a retired social worker, and Dave Hale a retired professor, were on vacation when they met Solfjeld at Shelter Bay Marina. “We’re hanging around killing time and Peggy will pick up a conversation with anybody, and that’s exactly what happened. Then it emerged that Harald had been in Brockport and met the Skoogs.” Like Solfjeld, the Hales have traveled all over the world including China, France, and Norway. These types of “small world” encounters aren’t all that surprising to them. “These sorts of things happen from time to time so it wasn’t a total shock,” said Dave Hale. “Once we were in Paris, and Peggy was in the process of explaining to somebody from California or somewhere, where Brockport is. And there was a woman overhearing this conversation who

Harald Solfjeld and friends from Western New York aboard his boat the SS-Ilanga on Erie Canal. was working with another tour group. It turns out her brother and sister inlaw owned businesses on Main Street in Brockport.” After crossing the canal for the second time Solfjeld sailed north to Costa Rica, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Mexico, and Hawaii. He then proceeded south to Christmas Island, French Polynesia, the Cook Islands, the Tonga Islands, then towards New Zealand. That’s when on November 17, 2017, an unexpected storm rocked the SS-Ilanga and she took on water and lost power. After 24 hours in the wreck a container ship named the Southern Lily came to his rescue. He had to abandon his beloved boat, but he knew he had to make it to safety. He was battered by the Pacific for 45 harrowing minutes before the rescuers were able to pull him aboard. He suffered a few broken ribs but otherwise was relatively unharmed. “The poor man was so weak he could not crawl up the ladder,” said Lori Skoog of his rescue. “They had to send a guy down with a rope and they dragged him up like a big fish. That man survived at age 67, his boat went down, he’s out in the ocean by himself and he survived. And then when he wrote to me and I started looking up

all this stuff and saw the video of them saving him I just about flipped!” Like everyone else these days Solfjeld stays close to home as the COVID-19 pandemic runs its course. But the memories of his epic trip are ones he will always treasure. “I was out for seven and a half years and I met so many nice people, and I have so many good memories. It was a beautiful tour.” As for his friend Lori Skoog, she plans to stay close to Brockport despite Solfjeld’s invitations to visit. “No traveling. I have chosen to have a life with animals, and so, I stay home,” she said. But staying home doesn’t bother her as, “somehow we hook up with anybody that is from out of the country that comes to Brockport!” She also writes a blog that helps her keep in touch with friends from all corners of the globe. “I am able to communicate with people all around the world, because of my journal,” she said. If you can read Norwegian, Solfjeld’s adventures are outlined in his book Leve en Drøm: Reise Med Vind (Live a Dream: Journey with Wind). Read Lori Skoog’s journal at skoogfarm.blogspot.com March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

long-term care By Susan Suben

LTC: The Cost of Care

COVID-19 has underscored the need to plan ahead for longterm care

he cost of taking care of ourselves or a loved one during a long-term care illness impacts the well-being of our families. The year 2020, due to the pandemic, greatly highlighted the need to have a plan for LTC. Many individuals stricken with COVID-19 did not fully recover and found themselves needing LTC services. Many families, at great expense, became the primary source of care due to the shortage of home health aides and lack of assisted living and nursing homes beds. Each year, in order to help you efficiently plan for LTC, Genworth releases its cost of care survey. The survey is one of the most

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comprehensive studies available. It is conducted by Care Scout, which specializes in helping families find LTC providers nationwide since 1997. During July and August of 2020, 57,981 providers were contacted to complete 14,326 surveys in over 435 regions across the country. The providers included nursing homes, assisted living facilities, adult day care centers and home care agencies. For the sake of the survey, Genworth defined the providers as follows. Nursing homes facilities offer high level 24-hour care for personal, rehabilitative and medical needs and assisted living facilities provide lower level care for personal and health needs. Adult day care centers

offer social and supportive services for individuals who can remain in the community and home health agencies provide homemaker services (cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, etc.) and home health aides who assist individuals with their activities of daily living (bathing, dressing, toileting, etc.) The survey reports the national median costs, the change in costs since 2019 and the five-year annual growth of LTC costs for providers. You have the ability to review the cost of care data by city, state or zip code, find trends, learn how to pay for care, and understand Medicare and Medicaid by visiting www.genworth. com/costofcare. This information will

help you plan for LTC in your state of residence or a region you are thinking of retiring to. Following are Genworth’s findings. • The national median daily and monthly rate for a semi-private nursing room is $255 and $7,650. This is an increase of 3.24% since 2019 and a five-year annual growth of 3%. • The national median daily and monthly rate for a private nursing room is $290 and $8,700. This is an increase of 3.57% since 2019 and a fiveyear annual growth of 3.01%. In Rochester, the median daily and monthly rate for a semi-private room is $407 and $12,380 and for a private room, $443 and $13,475. Some nursing homes may cost as much as $500 daily and $15,000 monthly. • The national median monthly rate for assisted living is $4,300 with a 6.15% change since 2019 and a fiveyear annual growth of 3.62% In Rochester, the median daily and monthly rate is $170 and $5,180. Some assisted living facilities can charge as much as $8,000 per month depending upon extra services. • The national median daily and

monthly rate for adult day care is $74 and $1,480 (based on five days per week). This is a decrease of 1.33% since 2019 and a five-year annual growth of 1.45%. In Rochester, the median daily and monthly rate is $70 and $1,517. • The national median hourly rate for a home health aide is $24 based on 44 hours of care per week. This is an increase of 4.35% since 2019 and a fiveyear annual growth of 3.71%. • The national median hourly rate for homemaker services is $23.50 based on 44 hours of care per week. This is an increase of 4.44% since 2019 and a five-year annual growth of 3.80%. In Rochester, the median hourly rate is $27.50 for a home health aide and $25.25 for homemaker services. There are agencies in the area that can charge $30 to $35 an shour. The survey found that prepandemic costs of care were on the rise due to an aging population that required more levels of care. However, these increases were further impacted due to COVID-19. In a follow-up study, Genworth found the following factors contributing to rate increases: “labor shortages, personal protective

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equipment costs, regulatory changes, employee recruitment and retention challenges, wage pressures and supply and demand.” According to Gordon Saunders, a Genworth senior brand marketing m a n a g e r, “ C O V I D - 1 9 h a s … underscored the need to plan ahead for long term care, considering both where we want to receive care as well as how we pay for it”. There are definitely challenges that the LTC industry has to address in terms of delivering quality care in a changing world. The more solutions (LTC insurance, life insurance with LTC riders, trusts, etc.) you can personally put into place regarding your possible need for LTC, the more prepared you will be for anything that comes your way.

Susan Suben, MS, CSA, is president of Long Term Care Associates, Inc. and Elder Care Planning. She is a consultant for Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. She can be reached at 800-422-2655 or by email at susansuben@31greenbush.com.

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golden years By Harold Miller

Email: hmiller@mcsmms.com

Keys to the Fabric of a Fulfilled Life in Retirement Someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to Someone to Love

It all began at the Kapa Epsilon Sorority dance held at the Hotel Syracuse. I walked across the expansive ballroom dance floor, introduced myself and asked this beautiful red head in an ankle-length plaid skirt and bobby socks, for a dance. We danced together well, and I enjoyed her company. After the dance we chatted awhile and I got Janet’s address and telephone number. Six months passed before I had a reason to call her. My alma mater, Smith Tech, which was the first trade school in Upstate New York, was having its first prom dance for its first graduating class. After that we dated regularly, became engaged and married in 1955. Fortunately, I still have my high school sweetheart — cum mother of five, grandmother of 20 and great-grandmother of 10, soon to be 11 — at my side. Unfortunately, most of our relatives and friends who live to our ripe old age (we have been married 65 years) are widowed or divorced. Remarriage is often difficult because it muddles splitting up the spoils among the kids. Therefore, some just live together as boyfriend and girlfriend, which is perfectly acceptable in this day and age.

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Something to Do

Many marriages break up in retirement because of too much togetherness. Husband and wife need to get away from each other occasionally, get out of the house more often. One of the horror stories that circulate within our community is of the husband who follows his wife around the kitchen as she empties the dishwasher and places the dishes in the cupboards. We see many retired executives with nothing to exec, fussing and fuming and trying to cope with idleness. A type A personality who has raced through a career at 80 miles-perhour cannot just slam on the brakes and let the engine idle — eventually the engine will stall. Anyone who has followed this column knows that I strongly advocate a “retirement career.” Grandma Moses became an artist at age 80. I have become a writer and journalist among other things, after a successful career as entrepreneur. Everyone has a hidden talent never pursued because of the constraints of a career. Some women are much better adapted to retirement than men because their routine changes little, but men cannot easily slow to their wife’s pace. It has been our observance that idleness can kill you as surely as an incurable disease.

Something to Look Forward To

Every day should be eagerly anticipated and never wasted (I was given a second chance and appreciate this more than most). A part of the day should be set aside for something you enjoy and subsequently look forward to. For me, this time is at the end of the day, after the work is done, sitting on the deck with a good book or magazine and a glass of wine — usually followed by a game of cards with my wife. Anything will do, a trip to the mall, taking a friend to lunch or simply taking a walk. Then there are the long-range things like visit family or friends, taking a cruise, annual family gatherings during the holidays and so on. In spite of the fact that I am retired, I still maintain an office within the family business. This allows me to get out of the house during the week — therefore I can look forward to the weekend. The important thing is to avoid the deathtrap of letting one day meld into the next and living a humdrum existence. Wrapping this all up, another perspective from granddaughter Kali La Rue’s journal, via the pen of Mary Ann Rademacher: “Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”

addyman’s corner By John Addyman Email:john.addyman@yahoo.com

Dad, Is That You? Or, Is It Really Me? Reflections on becoming your parents

here have been times in my life when TV commercials upset me. Normally, they occur right before elections when I’ve had a whole field of candidates right up to here and I’m looking for something to throw at the screen. But a Progressive Insurance commercial — the one teaching people not to become their parents — really floored me. The leader of the adult class invites a middle-aged guy to sit down. “AAAAAAHHHH!!!” the guy grunts as he takes his seat. “Did you hear it?” the instructor asks the class. All the guys nod. I do that. Or at least I DID do that until I saw that commercial. “Have I become my father?” I asked myself…and I immediately stopped making noise when I settle into a chair. Then the conversation ensued. When I was a lot younger, I’d have talks with myself and they were usually pretty one-sided because I didn’t know anything. Any newlywed worth her salt knows that her husband’s mind is an empty beer can. Now that I’ve been around the block a couple hundred times, the discussions I have with myself are multi-faceted, with a lot of voices and opinions being expressed. I hear my voice from different ages, offering opinions based on experiences that I had going through life (what educators today would call “evidence-based learning”). I even argue with myself in my dreams. I confessed to my wife a few weeks ago that I’d actually awakened in the middle of a dream to shake hands with my dream self. She suggested I’ve had too much snow and too much pandemic. But back to the noise and the

‘One thing I’m sure I do that certifies me as having turned into my father – and I’m a little ashamed of it, but I can’t help myself: I hide the packages of cookies and doughnuts from my wife.’ sitting down and becoming my father. Did my dad make a noise when he settled into a chair? He certainly did. And did I change my own behavior when I realized that I was replicating him? Yes right after I saw that commercial. But that also got me thinking about the other noises that men of a certain age make. For example, I make the “lost husband” noise a lot. “Honey?” I say as I walk through the house, trying to find my wife. I am lost because I don’t know where my watch is, or what time we’re going to have dinner, or if today is the day I have to be someplace I’ve forgotten about. I am lost. Did my father make this noise? He did. And I make the coming-out-ofthe-cold-into-a-warm-house noise, announcing the local atmospherics to my bride. “Wow! It’s cold out there!” My wife, of course, is a sentient being. She can look out the window. She knows we have a thermometer on the back porch. She always has her phone, with the village’s temperature on it, within three feet of her…but I tell her it’s cold anyway. Did my dad do that? He did, but he always added a significant stamping of the feet, whether he had snow on his boots or not. I don’t do that.

Then there’s the getting-out-ofbed-in-the-morning groan. I slept two bedrooms away from my parents, but we always knew when my father was getting out of bed. In his later years, when he got louder, we called him “The Bear,” and for good reason. He also added snorts and sneezes to the daybreak litany of bodily verse. Here there’s a little difference between us: I don’t groan, I growl. I hate to get out of bed in the morning. Always have. And here I add something my dad never did…perhaps my son will replicate it I say “OW!” a lot in the morning. I found out many years ago that as you age, the warranty runs out on some of your hardware and software…suddenly. So, you wake up and ask yourself, “When did that stop working?” I can no longer curl my toes around a sock on the floor, for example. There are places on my back I can no longer reach to scratch. Or, which happens more often, is that I wake up and ask, “Oh! Why does that hurt?” And I rewind the day or days before to figure out what I did that I shouldn’t have done, or did properly, but too many times. And when it comes to furniture, I’ve also stopped again thanks to the commercial making noise when I unbury myself and rise from our deep couch. I get up, smile and walk off, triumphant, looking for a room where she can’t hear me when I moan. One thing I’m sure I do that certifies me as having turned into my father and I’m a little ashamed of it, but I can’t help myself: I hide the packagee of cookies and doughnuts from my wife when I bring them home from the store. Luckily, Progressive Insurance hasn’t found that out yet. But I think my wife has. March / April 2021 - 55 PLUS

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By Todd Etshman

Patricia Uttaro, 58 Librarian chief talks about how Monroe County libraries have adapted to the COVID-19 era How have patrons adapted to the libraries’ COVID-19 protocol? Probably the biggest adaptation we’ve seen is the shift to using the library’s e-content products — Overdrive, Hoopla, Medici TV and a lot of others. Borrowing of e-books and e-audiobooks through Overdrive’s Libby app increased countywide by more than 70% in the first couple of months of quarantine and has held steady into the new year. Libraries also began offering programs online using Zoom and Facebook Live. The popularity of these formats has been stunning, especially for the Central Library where we are hearing patrons, especially seniors, say they prefer virtual because they don’t have worry about transportation and parking. By the end of September, virtual programs offered just by the Central Library had clocked more than 20,000 views. Other libraries have reported similar results and are hearing that people would like us to continue offering online programs even after we’re able to do in-person programs again. Does each library have its own protocol, how is it determined? The Monroe County Library System consists of 20 member libraries the Rochester Public Library’s 10 branches and Central Library plus 19 town and village libraries throughout the county. Each library is independently operated, with its own library boards of trustees. Decisions on how to provide service are made at the local level by the independent library boards and directors. Right now, most of the suburban libraries are open for limited in-person service while the city libraries are offering only curbside pickup. Besides COVID-19, what are the libraries’ biggest challenges today? 50

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Funding is always an issue. Libraries have to compete with other essential municipal services and there’s just so much money to go around. Many local libraries have started foundations or have active friends groups that help raise private money to complement tax dollars. People who don’t use libraries assume that they are not needed any longer because “everything is on the internet.” Hate to break it to you, but everything is “not” on the internet and a lot of what is on the internet isn’t what I would call “good” information. Author Neil Gaiman has been quoted as saying “Google can give you a million answers; a librarian will give you the right answer.” How important is an open functioning library to the older than 55 population? Public libraries provide access to affordable entertainment, social activities and lifelong learning opportunities for the older than 55 population. Libraries are the third place where you can visit, stay a while, see your neighbors and walk out with a bag full of books and other materials that will keep you occupied and engaged for weeks, all for free. What changes have you seen in libraries here or elsewhere in your 30-year career? The most significant change I’ve seen is the shift from print to digital and that includes how we retrieve information as well as how we consume it. Card catalogs are an artifact now, replaced by a fast, accurate online catalog that lets you browse and order what you want. Then have it sent to the library of your choice. Fifteen years ago, all the talking heads were predicting the death of the print book, but that hasn’t happened.

Patricia Uttaro is the director of the Monroe County Library System and the Rochester Public Library. She has been a librarian for 35 years. People tend to fall into three categories — print only, digital only or a blend of both. Most fall into the last category. How do you see the future of the library system you oversee? We have one of the most dynamic and creative sets of library leaders in Monroe County libraries that I have seen in my 35-year career. They are thinking up all sorts of inventive and appealing things to offer our patrons. There is tremendous support for libraries in this county. While communities in other areas of the country are closing libraries, we’re building them in Monroe County. I am personally looking forward to spending time in the new Chili Library when I retire!

Home. It’s never been more important.

Retirement Living at Chapel Oaks That’s why St. Ann’s Community at Chapel Oaks in Irondequoit offers the finest in retirement living, designed to provide peace of mind and make you feel right at home. Here, you’ll be part of a community that cares. Neighbors looking out for neighbors, with plenty of opportunities to stay connected. And even convenient services like grocery delivery right to your door. Plus, you’ll take comfort knowing you have access to a full continuum of care should you or a loved one ever need it.

Your home at Chapel Oaks includes: • • • • • • • •

Choice of 1-or 2-bedroom luxury apartments No entrance fee Maintenance-free living with first-class amenities Delicious array of dining options, including complimentary breakfast daily Courtesy transportation to medical appointments Priority access to health services Indoor pool and fitness center 24-hour security

TO SCHEDULE A TOUR, CALL 585-697-6606. StAnnsCommunity.com/Chapel-Oaks

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