Even though I felt very confident with my breast cancer treatment plan and care team at Montgomery Cancer Center, my friends and family encouraged me to seek a second opinion. It’s only natural to wonder if another doctor might offer different treatment options. After visiting MD Anderson and receiving the exact same treatment plan that I got in Montgomery, I was reassured that I was receiving top-notch care from a team of experts—without the added difficulty and expense of traveling far from home.
LEARN MORE
Contents May 2025
Dinner Recipe: Sheet Pan Honey Mustard Chicken
Grumpy But Grateful
Event: Samara Joy at Gogue Performing Arts
Event: Food and Grooves Mayfest
Event: Blues Old Stand at Cloverdale Park
Event: Cain: The Jesus Music Tour
Event: Caregiver of the Month
Event: Red Bluff Music, Arts and Food Festival
Event: 46th Montgomery Jubilee Run
Event: NAMI Walk
Event: Jubilee Pops Concert
Event: Love Over Fear: Davis Theatre
Word Search Contest
Moore Wealth Management: Your Life in a Box
Publisher’s Letter
Seasons of Growth!
Founder Jim Watson (1950-2024)
Publisher
Jason Watson
334.328.5189 cell/text jason@riverregionboom.com
Editor
DeAnne Watson
334.462.0225 cell/text
Contributing Writers
Jeff Barganier
Linda Berstein
Kimberly Blaker
Greg Budell
Cheryl Maguire
Susan Moore
Sheryl Stillman
Nick Thomas
Cover Photography
Photography by DiAnna Paulk photographybydiannapaulk.com
Advertising
Jason Watson, 334.328.5189 jason@riverregionboom.com
There’s something about May that always feels like a fresh start. Maybe it’s the flowers in full bloom or the longer evenings inviting us outside a little longer. Maybe it’s the simple fact that life feels more open this time of year—more inviting, more hopeful, more full of possibility. Whatever it is, May reminds me that no matter where we are in life, we’re always given a new chance to grow, to connect, and to start something beautiful. This month’s issue is packed with reminders of just that.
On our cover, we’re thrilled to introduce you to Brenda DePlanche—a powerhouse of positivity who turned her passion for movement into a life-changing mission. As the founder of The Workout Studio, Brenda doesn’t just build stronger bodies—she builds stronger minds, friendships, and communities. Her story is a testament to courage, resilience, and the incredible things that can happen when we follow our calling (even when it’s scary). Brenda’s journey reminds us that fitness isn’t just about muscles—it’s about finding joy, building confidence, and showing up for yourself and others.
We also invite you to explore the natural beauty just beyond our backyard with Nick Thomas, as he shares his adventure photographing alligators (yes, real ones!) at the Eufaula National Wildlife Refuge. Nick’s piece reminds us that you don’t have to travel far to find peace, wonder, and maybe even a little excitement right here at home.
Jeff Barganier brings a powerful reflection on thirst, faith, and providence in his story about Providence Spring at Andersonville. It’s a moving reminder that even in our driest seasons—literally and figuratively—hope can spring forth in the most miraculous ways.
Greg Budell shares his latest “Random Thoughts,” this time from the streets of New Orleans. With his signature humor and insight, Greg reflects on potholes, road trips, family memories, and finding joy (and a few good restaurants) wherever the road leads.
And speaking of finding joy, we’re shining a light on how friendship plays a vital role in aging well. From the lasting lessons of The Golden Girls (and why cheesecake may be the secret to happiness!) to tackling the friendship gap many men face as they grow older, these features remind us that we were created for connection. In a world that sometimes feels increasingly isolated, simple friendships—a kind word, a listening ear, an afternoon spent together—can be the key to a longer, healthier, and more meaningful life.
As you flip through this month’s pages, I hope you’ll feel what I feel: a fresh sense of encouragement. Whether it’s stepping into a new fitness routine, reconnecting with old friends, or simply savoring the small, beautiful moments that fill our days, May is a reminder that we are always invited to begin again.
Here’s to fresh starts, blooming friendships, and the simple, extraordinary gift of being alive.
Age Well, My Friends,
The mission of BOOM! is to serve the folks of the River Region age 50 plus with information and ideas to inspire new experiences, better quality of life and new beginnings.
Master
Moment: Just Pay the Ten Dollars! The Importance of Soil Testing
Growing up farming, I always thought it was as simple as putting the seed in the soil and waiting for the harvest. The adults always handled the fertilizing and understood what worked with the land. At 12, my mom decided she wanted an orchard. We planted pecan, plum, pear, fig, apple, and peach trees. Some did better than others. It didn’t matter how well we water or fertilize. Now, as an adult, wanting an orchard in the city, in clay soil. I realize that the 22-year-old pecan tree just now starting to grow lacks the nutrients needed for the soil type. The front two acres have three different soil types: clay, sandy, and black soil. The testing explain why the pear tree planted in black soil across from the pecan tree grew without problem.
I was planting my mini orchard in the city. I wanted to understand planting better. Why was one peach tree in my orchard growing and another not?
I took the Master Gardeners class where I learned about soil testing. I had my soil tested to find out for my clay soil I needed nitrogen everywhere. It explains why my blueberry trees, cherry trees, fig-trees, and grapes weren’t producing as much if anything at all.
Everything I planted in a raised bed with bagged soil grew without much interference from me. It explained why the tree fertilizer sticks I bought, specific to the tree type, didn’t seem to help. It wasn’t a product issue; it was me—my lack of understanding and having the fundamental baseline to produce. Spending ten dollars has done more for my trees than the hundreds of dollars I spent on fertilizers. Now that I have instructions on how to improve the soil nutrient levels for every fruit tree I have planted in my backyard.
Contributed by Ebony Martin, CCMGA 2024 Intern.
Sheet Pan Honey Mustard Chicken and Potatoes
Tender, oh-so-juicy oven baked chicken in THE BEST
Ingredients:
1 ½ pounds fingerling potatoes, halved lengthwise
1 ½ tablespoons olive oil
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Lightly oil a baking sheet or coat with nonstick spray. Place potatoes in a single layer onto the prepared baking sheet. Add olive oil; season with salt and pepper, to taste. Gently toss to combine, and place potatoes cut side down.
In a small bowl, whisk together 3 tablespoons Dijon, 1/2 tablespoon (1 1/2 teaspoons) honey, garlic, thyme, 1 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper.
Using paper towels, pat chicken dry. Place chicken in a single layer around the potatoes on the prepared baking sheet. Spread Dijon mixture evenly over the chicken; season with salt and pepper, to taste.
Place into oven and bake until the chicken is almost cooked through and the potatoes are tender, about 40-45 minutes.
In a small bowl, whisk remaining 1 1/2 tablespoons Dijon and 1 1/2 tablespoons honey. Brush tops of chicken with Dijon mixture. Place into oven and bake until the chicken is cooked through, an additional 5 minutes.
I’d never been to New Orleans until two years ago. I am writing this while enjoying my 20th visit! Speaking of 20, at the end of April, I completed my 20th year in Montgomery, so here’s my 20/20 report on various topics.
Before departing The Gump, I launched a mini-war with the City of Montgomery over a pothole on Cloverdale’s quaint Magnolia Curve. Magnolia would fit in New Orleans with its antebellum architecture and gracefully aging trees. Once a reasonable, nobig-deal hole, it gradually deepened and widened into something resembling a sinkhole. I called the city’s attention to it, and within a few days, a crew came and filled it with crushed gravel.
That’s all they did.
After several days of vehicle traffic, the gravel compacted, and once again, driving over it resulted in a bang and a prayer for tire survival. “Hello, City?” Another crew was dispatched. Rather than apply a permanent fix, the city placed a big
orange and white drum in the hole. With all the car and pet-destrian traffic, there’s no margin for error. Again, I let the city know of my frustration as I set out for Louisiana. We just got hit with a new gas tax allegedly to fix roads. My road rage was justifiable. We expect and deserve better. Here’s photographic evidence!
Going south on I-65 from the River Region gets tedious quickly. About 80 miles into the drive, there’s an exit for Owassa. Curiosity compelled me (once) to exit there just to see the greater Owassa metropolitan area. I found a gas stationconvenience store. Very few Owassians. On one of these trips, I plan to exit at Nymph. Sounds like Paradise! All you can see from the interstate are trees (you can add 2+2 here).
For 20 years, I’ve been driving to visit my daughter (Janelle). For
18 of them, she lived in South Florida. I made that round trip about 80 times by car, 660 miles each way. In the earliest of those years, staying amused was a challenge. My options were AM/FM
radio, which meant constantly searching the dial for something good. Eventually, I bought a laptop with a DVD player and would enjoy TV shows like The Honeymooners and All In The Family as it sat parked on the passenger seat.
I didn’t watch them, but I could “see” the characters, so it was an improvement. Finally, in 2009, I got satellite radio and listened to baseball and a channel that featured original radio broadcasts of classic shows like Father Knows Best and others.
Sirius/XM gets me there and back today, and my phone connects through Bluetooth for additional options. I am amazed at how far technology has come in 20 years. I love clicking the phone and asking Siri, “How many miles to the Claiborne exit off I-10?” and getting an immediate answer in distance and time, not to mention options for food and fuel.
During long trips as a juvenile BOOMer, we navigated through an ancient device called a “road map”. Rand McNally made them available for FREE in gas stations. I sat in the front seat of our massive station wagon, where I could light cigarettes for Mom while she directed Dad from the back seat. This led to my introduction to Parental Cursing, as at some point, my folks hurled accusations of incompetence at each other when an exit was missed. A typical road map (unfolded) was the size of a business envelope. Once used,
folding it back into its original flat form was impossible. Glove compartments (where gloves are rarely kept) became stuffed with colorful paper accordions over time. Good times.
Once in New Orleans, I quickly realized that the Magnolia Pothole ain’t so bad. There are no paved streets in NOLAjust quilted shapes of asphalt on more asphalt that have been assembled to pass as streets. It is a beautiful city, and there are plenty of BOOMers there. They appear happy. Most everyone is friendly, laid back, and welcoming. Everything I need is a walk away, including some of our favorite restaurants! My favorite store is the last remaining Peaches Records on Magazine Street - loaded with BOOMer nostalgia - a fun place for our crowd. I park in front of my daughter’s house and don’t see the inside of my car until I leave.
It’s only 4.5 hours each way. The only part of the drive that makes me nervous is the stretch from Foley north to Owassa. I often wonder what I’ll do if
my car breaks down. There’s nothing for miles! So far, my luck and friends (The 2 Dons of automotive brilliance- Turner and Duncan) have helped keep each trip trouble-free. Thanks, guys!
Returning to Montgomery, I exited Southern Boulevard into the ruins of what was once a thriving part of the city. I see the decrepit Normandale Mall. Boarded-up buildings. Abandoned property. You can still see how it used to be and wonder why it couldn’t have stayed that way. Better yet- become that way again.
Speaking of decrepit, I returned to Magnolia Curve to see my favorite driving hazard. The city had three days to fill and pave the sinkhole. I was eager to see progress!
This is what I found.
That’s government, folks!
Thanks for these 20 years, friends! It’s been a BOOM time for me!
Greg Budell has lived in Montgomery for 20 years. A 50+ year veteran of radio, TV and writing, Greg hosts the Newstalk 93.1FM Morning Show with Rich Thomas, Susan Woody, and Jay Scott, 6-9 AM Monday - Friday. He returns weekday afternoons from 3-6 PM for Happy Hour with Pamela Dubuque and a variety of sidekicks. His favorite topic is life! Greg can be reached at gregbudell@aol.com.
Back in 1985, when Susan Harris, an American television writer and producer, created the Emmy Award-winning sitcom "The Golden Girls," not only did she write a script for success, but also offered viewers a glimpse into the ingredients necessary for longevity. "Each week, Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche and Rose navigated issues around getting older with humor and honesty, then reflected on life's lessons while enjoying their signature cheesecake dessert." All four characters individually and collectively espoused what medical experts agree today can help us remain healthy through aging: avoiding loneliness and social isolation by connecting with others.
For seven seasons, the show invited us into the Miami, Florida, home of three "middle-aged" women and one octogenarian, who chose to live as roommates and quickly became best friends and family to one another.
Each week, these four women: Dorothy (Bea Arthur) and her mother, Sophia (Estelle Getty); Blanche (Rue McLanahan) and Rose (Betty White) navigated issues around getting older, such as divorce, widowhood, finances, romance, sexuality and other topics with humor and honesty, then reflected on life's lessons while enjoying their signature cheesecake dessert.
In May 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, again declared loneliness and social isolation a public health crisis in the United States. According to the Surgeon General, experiencing loneliness and social isolation increases the risk for individuals to develop both mental health and physical challenges, which can impact mortality. The World Health Organization states loneliness can be as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes per day.
Social Isolation and Loneliness: Differences and Similarities
"I liken loneliness and social isolation as an equation," said Caitlin Coyle, PhD, director of the Center for Social & Demographic Research on Aging at the
University of Massachusetts and codirector of the Massachusetts Task Force to End Loneliness & Build Community. "This means every person has their own desired level and actual level of social connection. So, when your desired level doesn't equal your reality, you feel lonely."
Further defined, loneliness is subjective; you can have a wide variety of friends and still feel alone and be distressed about that, whereas social isolation is objective, meaning there is a limited number or absence of social ties or connections. It's essential to understand and be mindful that social isolation can lead to loneliness, which is why, Coyle suggested, the two often go hand-in-hand.
Social isolation isn't necessarily something that happens overnight. As we age, we've likely experienced life changes. Whether it's losing a spouse or partner through death or divorce, becoming ill yourself, leaving your job due to corporate downsizing or planned retirement, or willingly moving to a new community — any transition can result in social isolation if left unchecked.
Who Is Impacted and Who Is at Risk
According to the latest statistics, 33% of adults over 45 feel lonely, 25% over 65 note being socially isolated, and 1 in 3 lack regular companionship.
Unfortunately, anyone and everyone is at risk. However, older adults who live alone, are in a lower socio-economic bracket, or suffer from mobility, hearing or other impairments are at an even greater threat for poorer physical, cognitive and emotional health.
As it relates to both mental and physical health, Coyle described loneliness as a socio-emotional response that is often distressing. "We know that when people feel bad, a stress response activates in the body," she said. "This then begins a cycle of reactions and consequences, including the co-occurrence of depression and other mental health conditions, while the stress hormones released into the body have negative physical impacts as well."
The Surgeon General's report highlighted startling health statistics when there is a low human connection level, including average increased risks of 30% for heart disease and stroke, 50% developing dementia in older adults, and worse yet, premature death by more than 60%.
So, how do we mitigate and protect ourselves from the ill effects of being lonely or socially isolated when as many as 15 million older adults (65+) live alone, some people don't (or won't) identify as "lonely" even if they are due to negative bias and virtual events continue in the wake of COVID?
The Wisdom of the Golden Girls' Lifestyles
Volunteer: Whether serving food at a shelter during the holidays, delivering Meals on Wheels to those in need, befriending a Vietnam veteran, or acting as a Candy Striper at a local hospital, "The Golden Girls" enjoyed acts of service and giving back to their communities. Volunteering is a great way to stay connected with others while benefiting your health. Researchers analyzed data from the Health and Retirement Study in 2019, with evidence pointing to lower mortality rates, higher physical functioning and reduced depression in adults 50 and over who volunteer more than 100 hours per year.
A quick Google search combined with your passions will list charitable organizations to donate your time in seconds. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging office if you require support.
Live
in a Multigenerational
Household: According to a 2021 Generations United report, the number of people in multigenerational households has risen, with as many as 26% of Americans living with those across age sectors. While families or friends may have started living together during the COVID-19 pandemic, many are staying together for extra financial, health care and emotional support.
As frustrating as living with family may be for some — like when Dorothy threatens Sophia she'll send her back to "Shady Pines" (the nursing home her mother nearly burned down) – there are compelling reasons for doing so. The Generations United study participants responded with more than 70% favorability in areas such as enhanced relationships, improved finances, and, most notably, positive impacts on personal mental and/or physical health.
There were many additional ways the TV family defied the aging process. Whether stepping out of their comfort zone, learning something new, such as painting, sculpting or dancing, reading, and continuing to work part-time, they seemed to find the most impactful ways to age well instinctively while maintaining the bonds that bind.
Limit Social Isolation and Loneliness to Protect Your Health
Of course, the above ideas may not be appealing, possible or suitable for you.
Karen Midyet, a clinical psychologist and owner of Coaching Aging Adults in Fort Collins, Colorado, educates clients on how to find fulfillment and connection when designing the last half or third of their lives.
If you are more introverted, "It may not be easy, but it is just as crucial for your health to engage socially with others." In other words, fake it until you make it.
"Many of the people I coach never thought about how they would spend their days after retirement," Midyet said. "Instead, they were busy working and didn't spend much time and energy on outside relationships or activities."
When reflecting on where to start, Midyet recommends asking yourself two questions, "Who am I now?" and "Who do I want to be?" Midyet helps her clients move past 'shoulds" and focuses on their individuality, where their energy comes from, and what excites them.
Turning to one's community is often the first step to finding a source of enjoyment. Whether attending religious services, chatting with your neighbors, playing pickleball or joining Meetup groups, the key Midyet offered is repetition.
"Once you continue to see the same people repeatedly, you begin to build a rapport. But it takes time and effort," she said. If you are more introverted, Midyet noted, "It may not be easy, but it is just as crucial for your health to engage socially with others." In other words, fake it until you make it.
"The Golden Girls" theme song ended with "Thank you for being a friend." While the "girls" had each other, having one person you can trust, rely on, and confide in can improve your physical, mental and social health outcomes.
Coyle stressed that it is not the quantity of relationships one has but the quality that offers protection against loneliness and social isolation. And that even the most minor action can provide positive health benefits. For example, compliment a stranger at the grocery line, chat about the weather with the postal worker or say "hello" to someone walking by you.
"These gestures serve as reminders that you are in community with others and that someone sees you," Coyle said. "It doesn't have to be a deep, intimate relationship to reap the rewards."
Courtesy of nextavenue.org.
Travel Experiences with Jeff Barganier
Photography provided by Jeff Barganier
Are You Thirsty?
In 1972, the U.S. Army taught me what it means to be thirsty. I was an eighteen-year-old member of “A-2-2! The best damned company at Fort Dix, New Jersey, Sir!” It was late July. Ninety degrees in the shade. A large water bag hung nearby. But an earlier company of grunts had drained it. My only water consisted of what remained in my canteen.
We trainees of Company A’s 1st Platoon laid out our gear in a neat line on the hot Jersey sand as we prepared to take positions on the rifle range. I had self-rationed my water during the long march out. My throat was parched but I resisted the urge to drink. My meager quantity would be far more precious once I returned from “qualifying” in the scorching sun with my already red-hotto-the-touch M16 rifle.
When the shooting came to a close and we returned to our gear, my mouth felt as though stuffed with cotton. My throat was dry and sore. Desperate thirst gripped me. But I soon discovered that other young men, while awaiting their turn on the range, had helped themselves to my water. And not one drop remained. Not one drop.
But there’s another true story about thirsty soldiers that makes my experience insignificant by comparison.
In 1864, Andersonville in Southwest Georgia was the South’s most infamous and deadly POW camp during the Civil War. The walled encampment was
designed to hold 10,000 men but its ranks had swollen to some 33,000. The POW’s only source of water was a filthy, vermin infested creek that passed through their midst. Not only was the water unfit to drink, it reeked and flowed with disease. Due to the unsanitary conditions, and without consumable water, men were dying by the thousands.
Lieutenant John Maile, a Union POW from Michigan, joined other prisoners singing the doxology— “Praise God from whom all blessings flow …” The men were led by a gaunt Union sergeant named Shepherd who had been a gospel minister before the war.
The small group sang the doxology several times. Then Sergeant Shepherd told them, “I have today read in the book of Numbers of Moses striking the rock from which water gushed out for the ample supply of man and beast. I tell you God must strike a rock in Andersonville or we shall all die of thirst. And if there is no rock here, He can smite the ground and bring forth water to supply our desperate needs. Of this, I am sure; let us ask Him to do this.” (Quote from
100 Bible Verses That Made America by Robert J. Morgan)
The men prayed for about an hour and then ended their meeting by singing the doxology one more time, after which, Shepherd urged them to keep praying night and day.
The men continued to pray for several days.
Then one morning Lieutenant Maile awoke and was astonished by “an ominous stillness” that filled all nature. By mid-morning, black clouds rolled in. Suddenly the camp was deluged by a heavy downpour.
Maile would later write in his memoir: “Crashes of thunder broke over our heads and flashes of lightning swished around us as if the air was filled with short circuits … As the mighty deluge swept through the clearing west of the prison, we bowed our heads in preparation of submersion … When it came upon us the sensation was as if a million buckets of water were being poured upon us at once.”
Jeff - 1st PL CO A22 Fort Dix
Providence Spring
Jeff above the Spring
When the storm subsided prisoners begin to shout, “A spring! A spring!”
With rapt excitement the men described how a lightning bolt had struck the ground inside the camp. Maile wrote: “The vent of a spring of purest crystal water, which shot up into the air a column, and, falling in a fanlike spray, went babbling down the grade into the noxious brook. Looking across the
deadline, we beheld with wondering eyes and grateful hearts the fountain spring.”
(Quote in part from 100 Bible Verses That Made America by Robert J.Morgan;
and in part from a sign on site.)
The men constructed a trough to transport fresh spring water for the thousands of thirsty men throughout the camp.
That very spring still flows at Andersonville to this day. It’s called the Providence Spring and is inscribed with the words:
“God smote the hillside and gave them drink—August 16, 1864.”
Those men believed the WORD and were saved.
Are you thirsty?
Jesus said, “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well springing up unto eternal life.” John 4:14 (ASV)
Jeff Barganier is a novelist, travel writer and speaker. He travels far and wide upon the slightest excuse for something interesting to write about. His novels include Lawson’s Bluff (2021); The Slash Brokers (1998). He also manages Cindy Barganier Interiors LLC (www.cindybarganier.com) at The Waters in Pike Road, Alabama. Contact Jeff at Jeffbarganier@knology.net. You may print out his features at www.jeffbarganier.com and take them with you when you travel!
Spring water
Despite its long-standing reputation as a land of abundance, America can be more of a barren desert when it comes to male friendship. One in six American men are unable to name even one or two close friends. A little more than one quarter of men today report having at least six friends. Contrast that with 36 years ago, when a majority (55%) reported having at least six close friends.
having the office as a "second place" for community and friendship, a problem that may be ongoing for millions of us who no longer regularly go into a workplace.
I was also experiencing a major role change at home: my kids were growing up and no longer needed me in the same way. I had been the parent who planned family trips, vacations and cultural outings — the self-described "Chief Fun Officer." I relished
How Men Connect
Social constructs around gender reinforce the way many men unconsciously operate. According to Judy Chu, who researches boys' relationships and development, the signal to "man up" begins as early as kindergarten. Young boys, she said, "are conditioned to not reveal things in a place you know is going to be unsafe to do so."
The result, says Fred Rabinowitz, who teaches at University of Redlands and studies male friendship, is that "men are taught to shut down our emotional lives from early on." This impulse to exhibit strength, competitiveness and stoicism makes it harder to be intimate and vulnerable, with anyone, of any gender.
As women have ascended in school, the workplace, politics and elsewhere, the need for men to be like Gary Cooper, who Tony Soprano longingly referred to as "the strong silent type," feels outdated. What women (and men) need, Rabinowitz said, is somebody they can talk to. Once again, pop culture is mirroring this shift. Characters like Ted Lasso, with his fuller range of emotions and ease at expressing himself, offer a new model of masculinity.
An Epiphany
A turning point for me came in October 2022, during a hiking trip to the Grand Canyon with three fraternity brothers from college. The combination of being lifted up and laughing nonstop for three days was the tonic I needed. The most remarkable part was how effortless it all felt, despite the decades apart.
That trip was an a-ha for me: if I wanted more male friends in real life, I would have to work at it. I went home determined to use my skills as an organizer to make it happen. I joined a tennis club. Around the same time, I formed an allmale book club composed of neighbors on my block and some dads I hadn't been in touch with much since our kids were small.
And I resolved to continue to organize an annual (co-ed) trip to the Indian Wells Open tennis tournament in California. As noted by Aaron Karo and Matt Ritter, hosts of Man of the Year, a popular podcast on male friendship, being the designated organizer in a friendship group is a critical role and one that can be taken for granted (reward your organizers, people!).
Lonely? You Are Not Alone
If you feel isolated and yearn for more friends, here are some practical tips that may help.
Practice vulnerability: While it isn't easy for many of us, finding ways to be more unguarded is a key part of developing meaningful friendships. Chu and her colleagues have found that boys are more open and vulnerable with each other when engaged in a "side-to-side" activity (whereas girls tend to be more comfortable talking face-to-face). A friend with two boys made the same observation to me unprompted. I find it easier to open up more during a long car trip, when hiking or sitting side-by-side at a ball game. These situations may be a gateway to opening up more with other men.
Diversify your portfolio: As with finances, it's important to diversify our assets — in this case, friendships. These days, I've noticed I'm doing activities with men of different ages, from early 40s to almost 80. Are you interested in baseball, politics, jazz or birdwatching? Make a list of your interests, then a list of people you already know that you could invite to join you for an activity you like to do.
Reach out: I skied twice last month with a guy I barely knew. It happened after I ran into his wife and lamented that I didn't have anyone to go skiing with. She said, "Oh, Greg loves to ski." We shared a hotel room and clicked on the long car rides. I feel like I've made a good new friend. Someone else I have known since college told me that a fellow dad recently approached him and said, "You seem like a cool guy, I'd like to get to know you better.'" It's hard to argue with that opener. Rabinowitz says to follow your instincts: "You may be thinking, 'I really like this guy, but I don't want to bug him." Instead, think, "What's the risk?"
Join a group: In 2022, I went to an event hosted by The Men's Circle, a local men's
group in the Bay Area that meets weekly. In the end I decided the group wasn't for me, but I'm glad I tried it. Groups like these have grown more and more common in the past five or six years in many parts of the country.
If you cannot find an existing men's group, consider starting one. You may be surprised by how many other men in your area may have a similar desire but are waiting around for someone to organize them.
Show up: As we get older, "90% of friendship is about showing up," says Karo, of the Man of the Year podcast. This can take a variety of forms. "It can be as simple as texting somebody and saying, 'Hey, just checking in. I know you lost your job. Or I know you lost a family member. I know you're going through a hard time,'" he said.
Who do you miss in your life right now? Make a list, then commit to getting in touch.
"What's My Password Again?"
Ah, passwords. The digital version of keys—but worse, because you can’t just stick a spare under the mat.
Every single website demands a password these days. Want to check your email? Password. Pay a bill? Password. Log into your grocery store account to save 30 cents on bananas? PASSWORD. And don’t even think about reusing an old one. That’s a crime punishable by endless “security alerts.”
Creating a password is a high-stakes game. First, you try something simple: “fluffycat123.” But no, that’s not good enough. The site demands at least one uppercase letter, one number, one special character, and the blood of your firstborn. Fine. FluffyCat#123!
“Too weak,” it says. Too weak? Listen, I don’t need this kind of judgment from a pop-up box. It’s a password, not a Kryptonian battle plan.
So, you add more. FluffyCat#123SavesTheWorld2023! Finally, it accepts your masterpiece, and you feel a surge of pride... until you forget it the next day.
Which brings us to password managers. These apps are supposed to simplify your life, but let’s be honest: they’re just another thing you forget the
password for. You try to log in, only to get hit with the dreaded “Forgot Password?” button.
Now you’re on the reset password treadmill, where they ask you security questions that seem designed to mock you. “What was the name of your first pet?” I don’t know! I was five! Did I even name the goldfish, or did we just call it “Fishy”?
And let’s not talk about two-factor authentication. At first, it seems like a great idea. “Extra security,” they say. But now you’re chasing a six-digit code sent to your phone, which you can’t access because you forgot the password to that, too.
But the real kicker? The sites that force you to change your password every 90 days. Look, if someone’s hacking into my account just to see my electric bill, let them!
I don’t have the energy to invent yet another password that sounds like a secret society chant. And then there are the “smart” devices.
They’re connected to everything—your lights, your thermostat, your toaster— each one demanding its own password. Yes, my toaster has a password. No, I don’t know why. I just want toast, not a digital security clearance.
Yet somehow, I’m grateful. Why? Because these password fiascos have made me creative. I now have a mental Rolodex of gibberish phrases that could double as book titles. DancingBanana42! SparklePenguin97!TurboWaffles!2023!
So here’s to the eternal battle of the passwords. You’ve frustrated me, humbled me, and taught me that no matter how advanced technology gets, nothing will ever be as secure as writing things down in a notebook labeled “DO NOT LOSE.”
But seriously, if anyone’s listening: can we just go back to fingerprint scanners? At least I can’t forget those.
-Archie Grumbleton
Another second-Sunday-in-May, another take-Mom-to-brunch-and-buyher-flowers day, right? Not necessarily. You can make this holiday extra-special by doing something out of the ordinary.
These 10 thoughtful gift ideas will show your mom how much you really care.
1. Mani/pedi or massage — at home: Mom will feel like a pampered celebrity when a professional manicurist or masseuse shows up at her door. To book a session, check with a spa or nail salon close to her home (or Google if you don’t know any).
What to consider: At-home services could cost twice as much as they do in the salon, but they will bring everything that's needed. Plus it’s only once a year — and she’s worth it, right?
2. Landscaping — inside or out: Instead of ordering another bouquet that will last only a week, go for something she can enjoy year-round. If your mother has a yard, get her a flowering bush from a local nursery. No plot of earth? No worry. Indoor potted plants make great décor.
What to consider: In most places, spring is an ideal time to plant, but check with the nursery. Also make sure your mom isn’t allergic to the flower or foliage you choose.
3. Cultural adventure: If your mother enjoys live performances, find a musical or theatrical experience or a jazz or swing band show she might love, or buy her a high-definition broadcast of the Metropolitan Opera.
What to consider: People over age 70 often prefer matinees — they don’t have to travel at night, and they can be at home in time for supper.
4. Go gourmet: Think outside the restaurant and offer to whip up a fine meal in her own home (either for Mother’s Day or another day of her choosing). Create a cute invitation and ask a few of her friends to join you. Carry a theme through on the plates, napkins and simple decorations.
What to consider: Try to do most of the prep at your home. Inexpensive catering (e.g., Costco) could save a lot of time and even money. And remember: You’re also on clean-up detail.
5. Gather memories: Create a digital photo album that allows your mom to
flip through family pictures in high-tech style. Or maybe she’d prefer something old-fashioned, like a scrapbook that includes cherished notes and memorabilia or a coffee table book of photos. You could also consider replacing older pictures of her kids and grandchildren with updated images.
What to consider: I know at a certain point my mother-in-law lost interest in new pictures. She loved the ones she had and complained she didn’t have room for any more frames, so unless this is meant to be a surprise, check with her first.
6. Donate in her name: Plenty of matriarchs feel they have everything they need. In other parts of the world, however, many moms want to make a better life for their families. Make a pledge in your mom’s name to Heifer Project International, and the donation will help those living in Africa, Asia or the Americas.
What to consider: Gift opportunities include helping to provide training and assistance to women who want to launch a small business, or funding a self-help group for moms. Perhaps you want to donate a heifer, goat or sheep to a family. For as little as $20, a family can receive a flock of geese. (This would make a great gift to Grandma from a grandchild on Mother's Day.)
7. Task be gone: You know that onerous chore your mom has been putting off, like
cleaning out the garage, organizing papers or sorting through broken appliances or e-waste? If you’re the right person for the job, tackle it yourself, or you could outsource it for her. Check with local senior centers; they often have suggestions about local businesses which can provide a paid chore service for older adults. Another great "task" gift is getting her car thoroughly cleaned professionally or renting an auto vacuum and hose and doing it for her.
What to consider: Vetted or not, this is still a stranger coming into your mother’s home. Carefully check all his or her references before arranging the visit and plan to be there or have a trusted family friend around when the project is being done.
8. Go someplace special: Mother-child outings are special no matter how old we get, so plan a weekend trip to New York City to take in some shows and shopping, or Montreal or Quebec City for a closerto-home taste of Europe. A three- or four-day cruise can provide some serious R&R time, and if you have a full week, the two of you can explore your ancestral homeland. TravelZoo, Expedia and Travelocity all feature deals.
What to consider: If you can’t afford to pay the entire cost, it’s OK to ask her to contribute. She’s sure to feel like your presence is a major part of the present.
9. Take care of the “unmentionables”: People put off and avoid a vital part of life: illness and death planning. You can suggest that you’ll find everything she needs (including good lawyers) to get her documents in order so she has peace of mind.
What to consider: This is a very sensitive area, and your mother may be relieved or she may be annoyed that you think of this as a gift.
10. Record her history: The whole family can get involved in this one. Draw up a list of questions, decide which child or grandchild will ask particular questions, and roll tape. Edit the video and make sure your mom has a special viewing with everyone applauding at the end. (You can upload any video to YouTube and take advantage of the extensive editing tools available there. For personal videos, use the “private” or “unlisted” setting.) The special beauty of this is that your mother is actually giving her family a special gift.
What to consider: For as little as $99, you can add a DNA test that will determine your mother’s ancestry and find living relatives who are part of an international data base.
Courtesy of nextavenue.org.
“Advertise in Boom! and connect with Montgomery’s vibrant 50+ community. With 15 years of proven success, we help local businesses grow by reaching this active and loyal audience.”
Grammy-Award Winner Samara Joy
Gogue Performing Arts Center
* Friday, May 9 at 7 pm
One sold-out concert at a time, 25-year-old vocalist Samara Joy has earned a reputation as a masterful interpreter of jazz standards and a rightful heiress to the sound, technique and charisma that defined personal heroines like Sarah Vaughan, Betty Carter and Carmen McRae.
Winner of five Grammy Awards, including Best New Artist in 2023 and Best Jazz Vocal Album for 2023 and 2025, Joy is a steady presence on network television and has appeared at legendary venues and events including the Apollo Theater and Lincoln Center, and the Newport and Monterey jazz festivals. With millions of likes on TikTok, Joy has helped a new generation of music fans discover timeless American music.
Get your tickets today at https://goguecenter.auburn.edu/samara-joy/.
2nd Annual Food & Grooves Mayfest
May 17, 11am - 2pm *Rotary Dog Park, Montgomery
The 2nd Annual Food & Grooves Mayfest is coming back this year in full force!
This event is family and dog friendly and will involve food trucks, live entertainment, vendors and more!
The City of Montgomery Parks and Recreation Department has been working hard to bring this super fun event back and we cannot wait to see you there! More info at https://allevents.in.
Blues Old Stand in Concert, May 11 at 3 pm Cloverdale Bottom Park, 3124 Cloverdale Road
Blues Old Stand will be playing a free acoustic show at Cloverdale Park—laid-back and local, under the trees. Blues Old Stand is a Southern blues-rock band known for their raw, unfiltered sound, described as a blend of blues, rock, and swampy soul. Bring a blanket, a friend, and settle in for an afternoon of homegrown tunes. The concert is free!
Please present coupon or mention you saw it in the BOOM! Digital Issue.
Cain: The Jesus Music Tour May 9 at Frazer Church
Get ready for a night packed with joy, music, and moments you’ll never forget — it’s the Jesus Music Tour with CAIN, Katy Nichole, Ben Fuller, Caleb & John, and Joseph O’Brien! If you love singing your heart out, dancing like nobody’s watching, and celebrating faith in the most fun and uplifting way, this show is for you. It’s going to be a night that leaves you smiling all the way home, so don’t wait to get your tickets! A limited number of VIP experiences are available!
Ultimate VIP: Included in pre-show Worship, Prayer and time to get to know the artists on tour. Receive a tote bag with a t-shirt, poster, lanyard & laminate. A special gift from the band along with a photo opportunity with CAIN and the best seats in the house. Color Blast VIP: Included in pre-show Worship, Prayer and time to get to know the artists on tour. Receive a tote bag with a t-shirt, poster, lanyard & laminate and great seats.
Doors Open at 6:15 pm, Show starts: 7 pm. Purchase tickets at etix.com.
Caregiver of the Month Spotlight: Vanessa Moten
We are delighted to recognize Vanessa Moten as our Caregiver of the Month. Vanessa exceptional qualities—her unwavering kindness, remarkable patience, and clear communication— make her an invaluable member of our team. She navigates complex situations, including those involving dementia, with grace and expertise. Vannessa's dedication, creative problem-solving, and genuine compassion profoundly impact the lives of those she cares for.
Thank you, Vanessa, for your daily commitment to excellence! For more information visit www.homecareassistancemontgomery.com.
Discover the benefits of our all-in-one Blue Advantage® (PPO) plans, designed to ensure you get the care you need while keeping your costs low. With Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Alabama, you’ll enjoy:
• A partner dedicated to providing an easy healthcare experience — in 2024, our Blue Advantage plans received 5 stars for Health Plan Customer Service and 4 stars for Overall Star Rating1.
• Access to 90% of doctors and 100% of hospitals statewide1
Red Bluff Music, Arts, and Food Festival
May 16-18 * Red Bluff Bar at the Silos
The Red Bluff Music, Arts & Food Festival is one of Montgomery’s signature cultural events, hosted each May by Vintage Hospitality Group at Red Bluff Bar at the Silos and Riverwalk Amphitheater along the city’s historic waterfront. Showcasing incredible live performances and drawing music lovers from near and far, this event brings the community together to celebrate Montgomery’s rich artistic, culinary and musical heritage. We honor Montgomery's rich musical legacy by featuring top-tier artists influenced by blues, country, jam, jazz, and the soulful Southern sounds of our region. The annual festival brings in prominent musical talents of the year while also spotlighting local and regional bands, as well as visual and culinary artists. Our deep affection for Montgomery and unwavering belief in its future drive us to enhance cultural opportunities for River Region citizens, and our aim is to unite the city over a shared love of music, food and the arts. *Kids 12 and under get in free! Get tickets at https://www.redblufffest.com/
46th Montgomery Jubilee Run * May 17, 7:30am
Montgomery’s longest standing competitive running event features competitive runs/walk on 8K and 2-Mile USATF certified courses. The River Region Runners’ Club is proud to plan, organize, and host the 2025 Montgomery Jubilee Run. This year’s event will raise funds for the Alabama Sheriffs Youth Ranches. The runs will be staged from historic Old Alabama Town. The 8K running event attracts runners from all over the River Region, Alabama, and beyond! There will be a 2-mile run/walk in honor of Peggy McLendon Lanier. Register at runsignup.com.
Breast Cancer Awareness Bash
May 31, 10am to 2pm * Woodmere Park
Wear your pink to this first inaugural family-friendly event for Breast Cancer Awareness. There will be food trucks, local vendors, live music and fellowship, kids activities and more. This is a free event to bring awareness and remembrance to the community. More information can be found at https://allevents.in/montgomery/breast-cancer-awareness-bash.
3rd Annual Millbrook Mayfest
May 17 * 9am-2pm
* Village Green Park
Come out for a Free, Fun, Family-Friendly Event! Festivities include arts, crafts, handmade items, children’s activities, maypole dance, music, food vendors, and much more. Visit Millbrook Mayfest on Facebook. Vendor registration runs through May 11.
Jubilee Pops Concert, May 23, 7pm
Lawn of the Alabama Dept. of Archives and History
Join Montgomery Symphony Orchestra for a free concert! Bring your family, friends, lawn chairs, and a picnic for an evening under the stars with classic patriotic tunes.
Any questions? Call 334-240-4004.
The Jubilee Pops Concert is generously sponsored by The J.K. Lowder Family Foundation and The S. Adam Schloss Foundation. More information may be found online at www.montgomerysymphony.org/jubilee/.
READ IT - LOVE IT - SHARE IT
BOOM! starts conversations and shares stories. Share your business with BOOM! readers. For more information call/text 334.324.3472 or visit www.riverregionboom.com 334.328.5189
Love Over Fear, An ALIEEP Production
May 9, 7pm * Davis Theatre
Love Over Fear is a story about the universal power of freedom, courage, unity, and kindness as seen through the eyes of four inspiring leaders from three cultures—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Maya Angelou of The United States, Sarojini Naidu of India, Yu Gwan Soon of Korea —who teach a young
To Eufaula National Wildlife Refuge
Photographing alligators in the wild isn’t difficult – if you know where to look. Sporting powerful jaws, fierce protruding teeth, penetrating eyes, and an intricate pattern of rugged scales, they cut quite a compelling image through a lens. Besides, it’s just plain cool to hang out with creatures whose prehistoric relatives once roamed the planet during the age of dinosaurs.
well maintained during our visit when we encountered no other people except a lone fisherman drifting across the lake in his small dinghy. This solitude enhanced the peaceful surroundings.
Fortunately, to experience these not-so-gentle giants close-up in nature, an expedition to the Florida Everglades or Georgia’s Okefenokee Swamp is not required. Eufaula National Wildlife Refuge is a short 90-minute drive from Montgomery on the Alabama/Georgia state line and is, supposedly, a reliable destination for reptile watchers. But would any make an appearance during our recent early spring visit?
Established just over 60 years ago and covering more than 11,000 acres, the refuge is home to Lake Eufaula (the Walter F. George Reservoir) and a sanctuary for migratory birds. It’s one of more than 570 National Wildlife Refuges across the country, with just 11 located in Alabama. While there are several walking areas at the Eufaula Refuge, it’s most conveniently explored via the scenic 7-mile wildlife drive that includes opportunities for stretching your legs along the way. The unpaved road was narrow but appeared
Less than a mile into the drive, our first stop was the Upland Viewing Platform, built in 1997. This small, covered structure is several hundred feet from the parking area and offers sweeping views of open fields with plenty of birding opportunities depending on the time of day and season. Fixed observation binoculars are available for visitors, but bring your own if you plan to search for the tree-bound songbirds whose tapestry of melodies drift across the plains.
Another mile or so down the road, we arrived at the Observation Tower that overlooks a wetland habitat. Omnipresent egrets swept across the water, but, alas, no alligators were visible.
As we continued, a large stretch of wetlands soon appeared with plenty of feathered residents but still no alligator sightings. A road to the right crossed over a narrow levee separating two large bodies of water, so we turned toward it and within a few feet – success!
a couple slipped into the water while the rest remained eerily motionless and completely uninterested in us. Another dozen or so glided effortlessly through the murky waters on either side. Continuing cautiously along the road with the windows down, occasional splashes signaled more animals taking the plunge from the banks while others rested peacefully on partially submerged tree trunks and rocks. With the camera shutter’s clicking, our visit had indeed proved successful.
More than a century ago, settlers in the area cleared the old-growth forests that once provided vital habitat for local and migratory birds. However, thanks to community efforts and support from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, the land was restored, and water levels were carefully maintained for wildlife. Today, visitors to the Eufaula National Wildlife Refuge may observe some of the more than 100 varieties of waterfowl, raptors, and songbirds –and, perhaps, even the occasional gator or two.
Half a dozen alligators, 4 – 5 feet in length, lay at the road’s edge, basking in the late morning sun. As we inched further,
Nick Thomas teaches at Auburn University at Montgomery in Alabama and has written features, columns, and interviews for many newspapers and magazines. His hiking column describes short trails, hikes, and walks from around the country that seniors might enjoy while traveling. See www. ItsAWonderfulHike.com.
If you're nearing retirement, you may be looking forward to the beginning of a new and exciting chapter in life. You will no longer have to dedicate your time and energy to a job or raising kids. For many retirees, this means a return to focusing on their own wants and needs.
One of the most significant changes new retirees often consider is moving to a new city or state. The idea of relocating is an exciting way to embrace your new life. But it's also a big decision you may want to consider carefully, especially if it means leaving family behind.
Living where you love or someplace more affordable
During earlier adulthood, people often relocate based on their jobs or the best location to raise a family. Retirement provides you the opportunity to choose where you want to live just because that's what you want, therefore, eliminating many factors to consider. There are many reasons retirees choose to relocate. Most often, they want to live in a place that offers them a better way of life.
A significant factor retirees consider is choosing an area where they'd love to live. Maybe you live in a suburban area but really enjoy nature and hiking. Or perhaps you've lived and worked in a crowded city for years, but would rather spend your time relaxing by the beach. After you retire, you're better able to prioritize your personal preferences when deciding where to live. Think about what things you enjoy and the type of environment that makes you feel your best to help narrow down your options.
Another important factor to consider is affordability. If you're thinking about moving after retirement, you may want to consider downsizing. If all your kids are grown and gone, you probably don't need as much space. Plus, you may have different needs that are better served with a smaller home.
Retirement means you likely have less income than you did before. So having a smaller mortgage or rent payments, lower property taxes and insurance, and less maintenance and repairs can save you a bundle. If you've got equity in your
home or home values in your area have risen since you purchased your home, you might even make a profit from selling it.
Do you currently live in an area with a high cost of living? If so, you may be able to find an area you'd enjoy with a much lower cost of living, thereby offering you multiple benefits.
The pros and cons of relocating
Deciding to move away from family and friends after retirement is a big decision. Creating a list of personal pros and cons is a helpful tool to help you process all the factors. Everyone has their own unique pros and cons based on various aspects. The ones below can help you get started. But don't forget to add your own.
Pros
●Leaving behind obligations, old drama, or bad memories
●Getting a fresh start
●Finding a more appropriate place for your stage of life
●Finding a new community with whom you have more in common
●Leaving an area that has a younger population and a family focus
●Saving money by downsizing or living in a less expensive area
Cons
●Being away from familiar and special places
●Having to develop new routines
●Not getting to see family and friends regularly
●Starting over new takes a lot of effort
●Needing to make new friends and find new social outlets
●Moving can be difficult and stressful
How to manage relationships with kids and grandkids if you do move away
One of the biggest hesitations retirees have about relocating is that it'll take them away from their kids and grandchildren. If you're used to living close to them and enjoy the benefits of living nearby and spending lots of time
together, leaving family behind can be difficult. You may feel relocating is right for you, yet you're still worried about living so far away from your loved ones. Fortunately, there are many ways to keep your relationships strong, even from a distance.
Moving away from family and friends is easier than ever before because of all the technology now available for keeping your relationships close through virtual connection. Gone are the days of delayed communication through limited means. You can now easily see your kids or grandchildren at the push of a button.
Through social media, you can follow them to see regular updates, pictures, and videos of important things happening in their lives. It's just as easy to have direct communication at any time using text messaging and phone or video calls. Video calls can give you the feeling you're right there with your family. At the pace technology is advancing, long-distance communication will only continue to get better. In some ways, living away from your
family can make seeing each other even better. When you live near family, you may not put as much effort into seeing each other or the quality of your time together because everyone's lives are so busy. If you live further away, the times you get to spend together will be more focused, special, and memorable. You can travel to each other's locations or meet for vacations together for a fun change of pace. The time leading up to visits can be fun too with countdowns or sending messages to each other as the visit gets closer and your excitement builds.
How to make the most of your new life if you do move away
If you do decide to relocate, the best thing you can do is go into it prepared, so it's a great experience from the start. You'll want to begin by figuring out precisely what you want out of your new home, town, and life to narrow down the places that make the most sense for you to move to. Even if you already have a dream location in mind, know the reasons why you want to live there and
that it'll actually meets your expectations for retired life.
It's a good idea to visit any new places you're seriously considering relocating to and spend time there. You'll want to be familiar with the area you choose to relocate to. Check out the city or town, including the more mundane aspects of it, like places where you'll run errands. Talk to locals, also, particularly those at a similar stage of life, and get their perspective. Realtors and librarians are both excellent resources for getting more information about what your potential new hometown has to offer.
Once you've relocated, look for ways to get involved and become a part of your new community. Leaving your old home also means losing the relationships and routines you were used to. At the same time, as a new retiree, you have a lot more time on your hands than you're accustomed to. So find healthy and fun ways to fill that time to ensure you're taking advantage of your new opportunities.
Look for group classes that align with your interests or offer the opportunity to try something new. There are often classes specifically for senior populations where you can meet other people to build new relationships and enjoy retired life together. Both the local library and city recreation department are helpful resources for finding these classes and groups.
You can also go online to Meetup.com to find various social groups with a broad array of activities and interests. It's a great way to do the things you love and make new friends who have something in common.
Retirement is a time of change that can be both wonderful and daunting. So whatever path you're considering, weigh your options carefully to find the best situation best suited for enjoying your new life.
Kimberly Blaker is a freelance writer. She also owns an online bookshop, Sage Rare & Collectible Books, specializing in out-of-print, scarce, signed, and first editions; fine bindings; ephemera and more at sagerarebooks.com.
When Lisa, age 57, first noticed that her mother seemed confused, she assumed it was typical behavior from an 80-yearold. She continued to take it in stride when her mother tried to make a phone call using the TV remote. Lisa became somewhat concerned when her mother started sautéing onions in a pan and then walked outside to get the mail, forgetting the stove was on. When her mother began seeing her long-dead mother in bed with her, Lisa realized there was more to the picture than normal aging. She knew her mother required full-time care.
How Many People Provide Care For Their Parents?
Lisa is not a rarity. According to the Pew Research Center, there are 40.4
million unpaid caregivers of adults ages 65 and older in the United States. Ninety percent of those caregivers are related to the care recipient.
More families in the coming decades will be faced with what is referred to as being the “sandwich generation,” meaning that adults will provide care
for both their parents and their children, says Dr. Lisa HollisSawyer, Gerontology Program Coordinator at Northeastern Illinois University.
How Does It Feel Being A Caregiver For Your Parent?
Hollis-Sawyer says, “Families rarely anticipate that their parent will need care.” This lack of planning can result in a breakdown of communication, leading to stress and frustration among family members. She recommends discussing a “care plan” with your parents before it becomes necessary. Hollis-Sawyer researched daughters who provided care for their mothers. She found their previous relationship influenced how the daughter felt about their role as a caregiver. If the daughter
had a positive relationship with their mother, often they felt happy to be a caregiver since they thought they were reciprocating care their mother provided for them as a child. On the other hand, if the daughter had a negative relationship with their mother when growing up, then they felt resentful about their caregiver role.
Hollis-Sawyer found that the care recipient felt guilty or a burden on their child regardless of their previous relationship. Even though it is no fault of their own that they required care, the care recipient felt as if they failed at being a parent.
How Can You Cope With Caring For Your Parent?
Your role as a caregiver can be less stressful if you have open communication with other family members and with the care recipient. Hollis-Sawyer stresses the importance of asking for help when needed and expressing your feelings about the situation. She also suggests talking to
the care recipient about their feelings or what they need assistance doing and ways they can be independent.
“It is important not to assume the care recipient is unable to do anything,” says Hollis-Sawyer. Allowing the care recipient to complete everyday tasks within their capability may help them to feel independent. The caregiver and recipient should figure out together what the care recipient is capable of achieving.
Self-care is an important aspect when you are caring for others. HollisSawyer recommends the key to self-care is understanding yourself by writing in a journal or diary on a daily basis. This will help you to recognize when you need a break or when to ask for help to prevent burnout.
It is also important to find social support for both the caregiver and recipient. There are many different forms of social supports, such as counseling, community resources, senior centers, friends or other family members. “These social supports can help the pair identify both frustrations
and triumphs, which can optimize coping strategies”, says Hollis-Sawyer.
Staying Positive About Your New Role As Caregiver
Through her research, HollisSawyer witnessed many positive effects of daughters caring for their mothers. “Daughters learned about their own aging process which helped them understand how to prepare for it,” says Hollis-Sawyer. She also noticed that the grandchildren benefited from seeing a role model of a good care experience.
The caregiver and recipient often develop a stronger bond that was not there prior to their new roles.
“There is much to be gained through increased self-awareness and learning for all involved,” says Hollis-Sawyer.
Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in Parents Magazine, Upworthy, Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessings and Twins Magazine. You can find her at Bluesky @ CherylMaguire.
Brenda DePlanche
Brenda’s passion for fitness runs deep, but it’s only part of what makes her story so inspiring. As the powerhouse behind The Workout Studio, she’s built more than a business—she’s created a thriving community centered on strength, support, and self-discovery. A former cheerleader, dancer, and gymnast, Brenda’s love for movement began early, but it wasn’t until adulthood that it transformed into a calling. With the unwavering support of her husband, Mark, who shares her love for staying active and cheering on the Auburn Tigers, Brenda took a leap of faith to pursue her dream. Together, they’ve built a life grounded in shared values, whether it’s hitting the tennis court, hosting poolside family days, or pouring their hearts into their community. In this candid interview, Brenda opens up about the challenges and triumphs of running her own studio, the joy of helping others transform, and how the power of partnership—both in marriage and in business—fuels her every step of the way.
BOOM: You’ve had an impressive career as a personal trainer and business owner of “The Workout Studio.” What first sparked your passion for fitness, and how did that lead you to open your own business?
Brenda: I’ve always loved to move. Growing up, I was a cheerleader from the time I could walk, and I stayed active through dance, gymnastics (my personal favorite), and tennis. Movement was a part of who I was. But like many people, life got busy. After high school, I pursued a nursing career, got married, and suddenly found myself in the whirlwind of adulthood. My activity level slowed down, my eating habits slipped, and before I knew it, I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me.
personal trainer. I took a leap of faith, left my full-time job, and went back to college to pursue my true love and passion: Exercise Science.
One day, I literally said out loud, “Who is this person?” That was the turning point. I made a promise to myself—to start making better choices, not just for a number on the scale, but for how I felt from the inside out. I wanted confidence, and strength again. So I got to work.
I returned to the gym, got certified as an aerobics instructor, and about six years later became a
Fast-forward about ten years. I was teaching and training at a local gym when, in an unexpected twist, they announced they were closing. Wondering—what’s next, a good friend stepped in. He owned a gym and offered me a facility and resources to keep doing what I love. A year later, with his encouragement and support, he handed it all over to me—and that’s how my studio was born.
Now here I am, running my own workout studio, still asking myself the same question I asked over 30 years ago: “Who is this person?” The answer? I’m someone who found her strength, jumped in even when I was scared to death—but I didn’t do it alone. With the support of my amazing studio community, we’ve created something far beyond a place to work out. Together, we’re building healthy bodies, strong minds, and meaningful friendships. It’s more than fitness—it’s family.
BOOM: You’re known for not just helping clients get stronger, but also educating them about living a healthier life. What’s
the most rewarding part for you when you see someone truly transform?
Brenda: It’s not just the physical changes. Helping others reach their goals is one of the most fulfilling parts of what I do. So often, people associate a healthy lifestyle with a number on the scale. And don’t get me wrong—seeing that number change can absolutely be motivating and exciting! But for me, the most rewarding part isn’t the physical transformation. It’s the mental shift. It’s watching someone gain strength, confidence, and a new sense of self. It’s seeing them carry themselves differently—standing taller, smiling bigger, believing in what they’re capable of.
Brenda: Ironically enough, even on my busiest days, I truly love what I do. Teaching classes is my happy place— it never feels like “work” to me. But when I’m not at the studio, you can usually find me soaking up the sunshine. Summer is my favorite season, and my perfect day is spent relaxing by the pool with my husband, Mark, our family, and our pups. Mark also likes staying active, so we also enjoy playing tennis together whenever we can. And when fall rolls around, there’s no place we’d rather be than Jordan-
When someone who once struggled to get through daily activities without feeling exhausted suddenly completes a 60-minute aerobics class and walks out saying, “I can’t wait to come back tomorrow”—that’s what lights me up. That’s why I do what I do.
BOOM: When you’re not training clients or managing the studio, what’s a perfect day look like for you? How do you find time to relax and enjoy the simpler moments?
Even though my studio is in Montgomery, I gladly make the commute because Prattville feels like home. We love the convenience of having everything we need close by, yet we still get that small-town charm and sense of community. It’s definitely growing, and fast—but it still has that heart and warmth that makes it special. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.
BOOM: You volunteer with Miracle League at Ray Thorington once a month. What made you want to get involved with this special cause, and what have you learned from working with the kids?
Brenda: Volunteering has always held a special place in my heart, especially when it comes to working with children with special needs. My passion for this began with my nephew, who was born with spina bifida. He was paralyzed from the chest down and faced multiple other disabilities, yet he enriched our lives in ways I never could have imagined.
Hare Stadium. Our love for Auburn runs deep—so Saturdays are for cheering on the Tigers! War Eagle!
BOOM: You’ve chosen to make Prattville your home. What do you love most about living there, and what do you think the community could use more of to make it an even better place to live?
Brenda: Mark and I live in Prattville—not for any big, glamorous reason, but simply because it’s where he grew up and where he lived when we met. Over time, it just became our place. And honestly, we love it here.
In my twenties, my sister—his mother—worked at Father Walter’s Memorial Child Care Center, a facility that serves children with severe mental and physical handicaps. I would often visit while she was working to sing, hold, play, bath and love on those precious kids.
That experience moved me deeply and eventually led me to become a foster parent.
After a long two-year process, I was finally able to take one of the children outside the facility. I was able to bring him home to spend the night, took him to the zoo, out to eat—just simple experiences many of us take for granted. The joy it brought to both of us was truly priceless.
Years later, one of my studio members introduced me to the Miracle League, a baseball league for children with disabilities, and I knew immediately that I had to be involved. Volunteering with the Miracle League has been one
of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of my life. You go in thinking you’re there to help these kids—but what really happens is they help you. They remind you what true joy, resilience, and love look like.
If you’ve never heard of the Miracle League, I encourage you to look it up. Better yet—volunteer. I promise, you won’t regret it.
BOOM: As a personal trainer, you’re always encouraging others to stay active, but how do you keep your own fitness routine fresh and exciting? Do you have a favorite workout or activity that keeps you motivated?
Brenda: My personal fitness routine is built right into the classes I teach— because I’m a doer, not a dictator. I’ve always believed that if I don’t feel what my participants are feeling, how can I know how hard—or not—they’re working? We’re in it together, every single rep.
I typically teach three to four classes a day, and each one brings something different to the table. From strength training and cardio to boxing, toning, sculpting, and step—we do it all! I genuinely love every format we offer, but if I had to pick a favorite, I’d say step has my heart. I’ve even been lovingly dubbed
the STEP Queen—and I’m not mad about it!
BOOM: You run a business, train clients, volunteer, and have a side gig with Plexus—all while staying active and keeping up with family life! How do you manage to juggle all of these roles, and what keeps you balanced?
Brenda: Balancing two businesses, family life, friendships, and a little fun? It’s definitely a challenge! One of my biggest struggles— something I’m still working on—is learning how to turn it all off. I say that in the present tense because, truthfully, I haven’t mastered it yet. My days start super early and end late. My first class is at 5:30 a.m. and last class at 6:30 p.m., with more classes and training clients packed in throughout the day. On top of that, I’m checking in with my Plexus customers— answering questions, placing orders, and offering guidance. The hours add up quickly.
The end of each month is always the most intense. Class schedules shift, instructors’ availability changes, and putting it all together often feels like solving a jigsaw puzzle. I just cross my fingers and hope all the pieces fall into place. I also share a monthly recipe and offer an optional challenge to keep our members motivated and accountable. If they complete it, they’re entered into a prize drawing—because let’s be real, who doesn’t love a surprise gift?
Step Challenge, PLANKSgiving in November, and the 12 Days of Christmas in December. Every single member and client matters deeply to me, and I hope they feel that in everything I do.
Now, I’ll admit—I have my fair share of “toxic traits,” and one of them is being slightly obsessed with organization. I thrive on structure and routine. I’ve always said, the more I have to do, the more productive I am. So, multitasking? That’s right up my alley. But even with all I juggle, I’ve learned that burnout is real. That’s why I’ve made it a priority to create small pockets of rest throughout the week. Usually, I have a midday break where I can eat lunch, catch up on paperwork, or just enjoy a little quiet time. Even if it’s just for a short while, it makes a huge difference. It helps me reset and recharge so I can bring fresh energy to my evening groups.
Time is the most valuable gift someone can give—and I don’t take that lightly. When a person shows up and gives me even an hour of their day, I see that as an honor. Their time matters, and it’s important to me that I make it count!
BOOM: We often hear about the importance of physical fitness, but what other aspects of wellness do you emphasize with your clients to help them live a fuller, healthier life?
We keep things fun year-round with themed challenges like our October
Brenda: While I constantly preach the benefits of healthy eating and daily exercise, I also emphasize something just as important—balance. My members and clients hear me say it all the time: this is a long-term lifestyle change, not a short-term fix. You have to pace yourself and accept that setbacks are part of the process. You’ll make a bad food choice, skip a class, or fall short of a goal. That’s life—we’re human. But it’s not about the setbacks themselves. It’s about how you respond. Don’t let a couple of rough days turn into a month of giving up. Give yourself grace, reset, and start fresh the next day. That’s why it’s called a journey.
BOOM: How do you think fitness and staying active contribute to aging well? What advice would you give to someone over 50 who’s looking to start their fitness journey?
Brenda: These days, it’s no secret—no matter your age, staying active is vital to your overall well-being. Whether it’s high-intensity exercise or simply a walk around the neighborhood, movement matters.
Our heart is a muscle, just like any other in our body. If we don’t keep the blood flowing through it with consistent cardiovascular activity, it becomes weak—and eventually, it can fail us. The same goes for our bones. As we age, issues like osteoarthritis and osteopenia become more common, but regular weight-bearing exercises can help increase bone density and prevent and improve these conditions.
The best part? It’s never too late to start. I’ve worked with clients in their 50s, 60s, 70s—even one in her 80s—and their results have been nothing short of amazing. The key is to just start—and keep going.
BOOM: We know your Yorkie babies are incredibly special to you. How do they bring joy into your life, and what role do they play in your overall well-being?
Brenda: If you know me, you know my love for dogs is real—almost to the point that it hurts! Closest to my heart are my three Yorkies: Reesie, Gracie, and Ziggie. They’re not just pets—they’re part of The Workout Studio family. We lovingly refer to them as our “studio security team,” but truthfully, they’re just the sweetest, most well-behaved little companions. They bring
so much joy to everyone they meet, and for many of our members, seeing their furry faces is a highlight of the day.
The Studio is truly their second home—though some would argue it’s actually their first! Having them by my side and watching how they light up the room (and people’s hearts) is everything. Honestly, I think a few clients come more for the pups than for me—and I’m totally okay with that!
BOOM: You’ve been involved with Plexus for five years now, with great results. What made you decide to team up with the plant-based supplement company, and how has it impacted your health and lifestyle?
Brenda: I started using Plexus five years ago for two reasons: first, to support a family member who was selling it, and second, because I had heard so many great things about the products and thought it was the perfect opportunity to give them a try!
gut controls about 70% of our immune system, so when it’s off, everything feels off.
I had struggled with gut issues—let’s be honest, who doesn’t?—and I was hoping they would help. I’ve always been mindful of what I put into my body, and the fact that these are all-natural, plant-based supplements was a huge bonus. Within just a couple of months, I noticed changes. Our
I stayed consistent with the products for four years, sharing them with everyone around me. If they helped me, I knew they could help others too. At one point, a friend approached me about selling. I quickly shut her down—I was happy just sharing and sending her the business. But after a year of watching these products help so many of my friends, she finally convinced me. And I’m so glad she did!
I’m proud to say I’ve built quite a business with Plexus. My primary focus for so many years has been helping people live healthier, get stronger, and become more confident. What better way to complement that than by helping them feel good from the inside out as well?
While my true passion is still and will always be fitness, exercise, and The Workout Studio, Plexus has been an amazing addition. It’s allowed me to help and connect with so many incredible people. Just recently, I earned an allexpense-paid cruise to the Caribbean for two—compliments of Plexus—it was another one of those “pinch-me” moments.
God has truly blessed me more than I deserve. But something I’ve learned is that He’s always opening doors—it’s just up to us whether or not we walk through them.
BOOM: You and your husband, Mark, are dedicated Auburn Tigers fans. How
did your time at Auburn shape you, and what does it mean to share that love for the Tigers with your family now?
Again my love of sports came at a young age, but my true love for Auburn came in my early twenties. One of the doctors I worked for gave me tickets to an Auburn game. It wasn’t just my first time in Jordan-Hare Stadium—it was my very first college football game. That was it. I was in complete awe and instantly hooked. There was something magical in the air. The energy, the spirit—there’s just nothing better.
Brenda: I honestly can’t remember a time I didn’t love sports—all sports—but especially football. Growing up in the South, it’s practically in your DNA. Funny side note. Back in college, as part of my Exercise Science degree, I enrolled in several sports-related electives. One particular class delved into the fundamentals of sports— covering their origins, rules, and history. Given its relevance to majors like sports management, athletic training, and physical education, the class was predominantly male; I was one of only three women. After our first test, which focused entirely on football, the professor announced the highest grade in the class: a 98. To everyone’s surprise, it was mine! I’m pretty sure I earned a little extra respect from the guys that day.
As fate would have it, Mark was an Auburn fan too. In fact, our second official date was riding in a race car going 160 MPH at Talladega, then watching the Iron Bowl together. Auburn won 28–18! Not a bad date, right? And as they say, the rest is history. We’ve been season ticket holders ever since!
We share that love with our family and start them young— one of my nieces has been going to games with us since she was born. There’s just nothing quite like football Saturdays in the South. It’s something Mark and I look forward to every year and something we love doing together. Some of our favorite memories are in that stadium.
BOOM: As someone who’s been in the fitness industry for many years, what’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned along the way—whether in your personal or professional life?
Brenda: Every day brings new challenges— whether it’s putting together a fresh class plan or finding ways to adapt a workout to meet the needs of everyone in the room. I take my role very seriously. I walk into every class with a written plan, full of variety, progression, and modifications for all fitness levels. My goal is always the same: keep it fun, keep it effective, and keep it challenging. That means being aware of who’s in the room—different personalities, different abilities, different needs. It’s a balance I’m always working to fine-tune.
If there’s one lesson I’ve had to learn (and continue to work
on), it’s patience and understanding for my own passion. I remind myself often: not everyone loves exercise and wellness the way I do—and that’s okay. I just want so badly for everyone to feel the joy and freedom that movement brings, but I’ve learned to meet people where they are and celebrate progress in all its forms. It’s most definitely a work in progress—but one I’m committed to. These challenges have pushed me and ultimately made me a little more compassionate, a better listener, and a stronger leader.
BOOM: Running a fitness studio must involve a lot of personal connections with your clients. How do you build strong relationships with them, and how do those relationships help both you and your clients thrive?
Brenda: As I mentioned earlier, The Workout Studio isn’t just about exercise— it’s about connection. The friendships and fellowship we’ve built within these walls are just as important as the workouts themselves. We help each other, encourage one another, motivate, push, and show up for each other—in and out of class.
Sometimes, that support comes during a tough workout when we need a little extra push to get through it. Other times, it shows up in life’s bigger moments. Either way, we’ve created something really special. Some of my most meaningful and lasting relationships have come from this community.
I spend time with many of my clients three to four times a week—we talk, laugh, and share life. I know their stories, their kids, their pets, even their parents and grandparents. When someone
trusts you with their health and well-being, something deeper naturally forms. And that connection is what The Workout Studio is all about!
BOOM: You’ve had an exciting career and life so far, but what’s next for you? Are there any personal or professional goals you’re particularly excited to pursue in the years ahead?
Brenda: I’m so excited for what’s to come at The Workout Studio! My hope and prayer is that it continues to grow, to reach more people, and to change more lives. I genuinely want to make a lasting impact—to create a legacy that reflects and embellishes my love for health, fitness, and helping others become the best version of themselves.
I can’t close without acknowledging the most important person in my life—Mark. He’s been by my side through every stumble, every success, every step of this journey. His quiet strength, constant encouragement, and unwavering support have carried me in ways I can never fully express. He never seeks the spotlight but always steps up when needed— and I couldn’t have done any of this without him. Thank you, Mark… for being my biggest blessing.
One of my favorite sayings is: “You don’t have to—you GET to.” Every day is a blessing, and the ability to move our bodies, to show up, and to grow stronger—it’s a gift I never take for granted. My hope is that everyone who walks through our doors feels that same gratitude and leaves not just stronger, but more inspired to embrace the gift of movement and the power of community.
We want to thank Brenda for sharing some of her story with us this month. If you have comments or suggestions about our cover profiles, including nominating someone, please text Jason Watson at 334.328.5189 or email jason@ riverregionboom.com.
If Something Happens to You, Are Your Records Organized?
Are your records organized? If something were to happen to you, would it be easy for loved ones to take over your affairs or settle your estate? Would they know where to find all your necessary healthcare information, legal documents, passwords, and PINs? Would they know how bills are paid and how sources of income are credited to your bank account?
Not to worry. Every January, we conduct a workshop called Life in a Box. We give you a step-by-step approach to gather all relevant records, so they are all contained or referenced in one fire-resistant box. We will conduct the 2025 workshop by webinar at noon on Wednesday, January 29th. For further information and reservations, please call 334.270.1672 or email sarah@ moorewealthmanagement.com. If you miss the webinar, there will be a recorded version available. In addition, we offer free consultations without obligation.
The ten categories that we cover in detail include healthcare, estate planning, tax records, investments and bank accounts, liabilities, insurance, military records, personal identification documentation, deed and similar documents, and a miscellaneous one that covers pet information, house maintenance, etc.
Financial Thoughts with Susan Moore
By Susan Clayton Moore, J.D. Principal of Moore Wealth Management, Inc.
In addition, we go over what to keep where, for example, in a safe deposit box, fire-resistant box at home, in a file cabinet or with your attorney or financial advisor. For example, it is not advisable to keep the original of your will in your safe deposit box and we will tell you why. Another example is your passport. A copy of your passport should be kept in the safe deposit box, but not the original, and we will tell you why.
We also go over ways to manage technology. If something were to happen to you, loved ones need to be able to access electronic as well as
paper records. To do so, they need to know passwords and PINs. We go over electronic means to store passwords and PINs so loved ones can access them in an emergency and help protect you from identity theft.
Make one of your New Year’s resolutions to get your records organized. Our webinar and proprietary method are designed to help you get your Life in a Box organized. We make it so once organized, it!
Susan Clayton Moore, J.D., is a financial advisor and wealth manager of Moore Wealth Management, Inc., with offices Montgomery and Alexander City, AL. Susan has under advisement over $150 million (as of 9.1.24) in brokerage and advisory assets through Kestra Financial and has been a financial planner for over 40 years. Contact Susan at 334.270.1672. Email contact is susan@ moorewealthmanagement.com.
The opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect those held by Kestra Investment Services, LLC or Kestra Advisory Services, LLC. This is for general information only and is not intended to provide specific investment advice or recommendations for any individual. It is suggested that you consult your financial professional, attorney or tax advisor regarding your individual situation. Securities offered through Kestra Investment Services, LLC (Kestra IS), member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisory Services offered through Kestra Advisory Services, LLC (Kestra AS), an affiliate of Kestra IS. Kestra IS or Kestra AS are not affiliated with Moore Wealth Management, Inc. https://www. kestrafinancial.com/disclosures
