By Greg Budell
The Mayor of BOOMTOWN
"ONE FLU INTO A CUCKOO'S NEST" "A true story from the Greg files"
(WARNING! Much of what you read here could be totally wrong by the time you read it. Then again, maybe not)
March began in such glorious fashion! Yes, the Corona Virus story was rearing its ever- growing and malignant head. If you remember, March was launched with news of exploding job growth, soaring financial markets and prosperity. Baseball was 2 weeks into playing spring training games, with a new season set to start on the 26th. March Madness was set to start at midmonth! Things seemed really upbeat! With a week left to go in March, Covid-19 wiped out jobs, stocks and grocery store shelves. The baseball season will start on the 26th- we’re just not sure if it will be April, May or March 26, 2021. March Madness played out at your nearest grocery store. A term I’d never heard before, “Social Distancing” is the new norm in a matter of weeks. I can’t believe I’m writing this!
52 BOOM!
April 2020
RiverRegionBoom.com
Perspective. The worst pandemic has been media-fueled fear. Had we gone this berserk with social distancing and 55 gallon drums of Purell last fall, 30 million people (including my daughter) might have escaped the seasonal flu. We’ve lived with these situations for many years without crashing our economy, limiting freedoms and unconscionable hoarding. Did you ever think we’d be told to wash our hands while singing “Happy Birthday”after we graduated kindergarten? The last time I wore a surgical mask was the day I held my newborn, Janelle (pictured). Now I see them everywhere. I’m not going there. Germs have been, are now, and always will be a part of life. Last I checked there’s no mustard gas floating around. What makes this particular mutation of the flu the Disease That Closed America? BOOMers know fear is a healthy thing. It’s why we’re cautious around hot stoves, moving vehicles and slithery creatures. Life is a process of learning what to fear (touching electrical sockets, parental discipline and your team not winning the Iron Bowl- which I believe WILL be played this year).
This novel virus has produced epic Coronaphobia. Americans love their toilet paper. COVID-19 does not cause diarrhea, nor did it cut off our running water or electricity. A quick and cleanly hot shower will work fine if the only thing on the holder is a cardboard tube featuring a few shreds from the Roll That Used To Be. Breaking News for the horrible hoarderstowels can be washed and re-used. I mean, dang- our parents went through a horrible depression, a World War and severely rationed items like butter and sugar- for 4 years. We’ll get through this, sooner than later. There is only one cure for fear- LOVE. While I’m certain there will be a baby boom by the time our January BOOM! rolls out, that’s not the love I’m referencing. A recent study said the average couple takes about 21.5 minutes for, uh, that. With all the self-quarantining going on, it barely makes a dent in the cabin fever sweeping America.
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