Riverfront Times, September 29, 2021 by Riverfront Times

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THE LEDE

PHOTO BY THEO WELLING

“If you don’t feel like it’s OK for you to come out — if you come to one of these events, you see how many people really are in support. It makes you feel wonderful.” NYIA ROSS (RIGHT), PHOTOGRAPHED WITH RYIA WASHINGTON AT TOWER GROVE PRIDE IN TOWER GROVE PARK ON SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25

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Sounds of the Machine

n the clattering of metal trash can lids that has become the national discourse, it’s often impossible to hear anything. Screeching about Critical Race Theory, grandiose speeches likening mask policies to tyranny and political candidates’ endless campaigns blend together into one awful chorus. The issue that cuts through them all is voting access. It is our opportunity to have a say in how this country is run and who runs it, but even that has become more complicated. We’re quickly descending into a world where a prolonged attack on our election system means fewer people trust the results of free and fair elections. Lies about voter fraud, repeated often enough, give rise to new rules, ostensibly to fight voter fraud. But as voting experts explain in this week’s cover story, the impact of these new rules has little to do with curbing fraud and everything to do with cutting voters out of the system. It can be hard to hear that right now, but it is critically important to listen. —Doyle Murphy, editor in chief

TABLE OF CONTENTS Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Doyle Murphy

E D I T O R I A L Digital Content Editors Jenna Jones, Jaime Lees Interim Managing Editor Daniel Hill Food Editor Cheryl Baehr Staff Writer Danny Wicentowski Contributors Eric Berger, Jeannette Cooperman, Mike Fitzgerald, Eileen G’Sell, Reuben Hemmer, Ryan Krull, Andy Paulissen, Justin Poole, Jack Probst, Richard Weiss, Theo Welling, Ymani Wince Columnists Thomas Chimchards, Ray Hartmann Editorial Interns Phuong Bui, Zoë Butler, Madyson Dixon A R T

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COVER On the Edge Missouri Republicans are part of a massive fight to restrict voting access. What happens if they win? Cover illustration by

BRIAN SCAGNELLI

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HARTMANN Grifters for Greitens Missouri’s ex-governor is picking up an embarrassing list of endorsements BY RAY HARTMANN

t’s official: Disgraced Eric Greitens has received the endorsement of disgraced Michael Flynn in his campaign for Missouri senator. The “patriot” who twice pleaded guilty to lying to Congress wants you to know how much the nation needs the “patriot” who resigned as governor over sexual misconduct and in exchange for felony computer tampering charges getting dropped. What a pair. What a country. It takes a special type of crazy to garner the blessing of arguably the most revered figure in QAnon world. In a recorded statement, Flynn praised Greitens as the sort of “America First” stalwart that Missouri needed to send to the U.S. Senate. That fit nicely with Greitens’ promise to serve as a “MAGA warrior” if elected. But this was hardly Flynn’s most bizarre statement of the week. That honor would go to what he said on a national podcast at about the same time. It seems that the former general believes that the Deep State is scheming to put the COVID-19 vaccine in your salad dressing. And no, I didn’t make that up. As reported by Rolling Stone, Flynn appeared on host Clay Clark’s freaky podcast, “Thrivetime Show: Business School Without the B.S.” Here’s its reporting: “The interview with Flynn begins with a lot of talk about ‘waking up’ to reality, followed by Clark claiming that PCR Covid tests are rigged, and that once you’re into the hospital doctors give you drugs developed by George Soros to kill you (one of the drugs he cites, Remdesevir, was administered to President Trump), all the while withholding ‘100-percent

effective’ treatments like hydroxychloroquine and Ivermectin, also known as the horse paste that has caused a flood of calls to poison control from victims of Clark-type con men. “‘Does it shock you that the CDC protocols, General Flynn, are actually causing people with a soul who love America, doctors, to be accidentally euthanizing Americans at scale?’ Clark asks eventually. ‘Does that shock you?’ “‘It doesn’t shock me,’ Flynn replies, adding that even though the doctors may be accidentally euthanizing Americans with the Soros drugs, they’re also to blame because it’s incumbent upon them to understand what they’re giving people. ‘You can’t say you’re just following orders,’ Flynn says. ‘It sounds like the Nazis.’ “The discussion continues like this, conspiracy theory on top of conspiracy theory, one playing off of the other. It’s hard to overstate how far afield of reality, or even mainstream conspiracy-theory culture, the discussion ventures. At one point, Flynn suggests that the government could be secretly administering the vaccine through salad dressing, as Ron Filipkowski first pointed out on Twitter. “‘Have you seen this?’” Flynn asks. “‘YES!!!’ Clark yells.” Perhaps it will turn out that Flynn was lying like he did those two times to Congress for which he got pardoned by Trump. Or maybe he’s telling the truth and millions of Cracker Barrel customers are about to be robbed unknowingly of their God-given freedom to spread a pandemic disease. Either way, this is no isolated incident. In June, Flynn was the featured attraction at the For God and Patriot Roundup — the largest QAnon gathering to date — and he responded to a question as to why “what happened in Myanmar shouldn’t happen here.” Flynn’s response: “No reason. I mean, it should happen here. No reason. That’s right.” Myanmar just had its government violently overthrown. So what better guy to listen to than Flynn when it comes to electing a senator? Flynn is just the most recent dirtbag to offer Missourians his unsolicited advice as to which Trump toady they should in-

It takes a special type of crazy to garner the blessing of arguably the most revered figure in QAnon world: Disgraced Michael Flynn praised disgraced ex-Governor Greitens as the sort of “America First” stalwart that Missouri needed to send to the U.S. Senate. flict upon the rest of the nation in 2022. He joins an impressive list of shysters, scoundrels and scamps in presuming that anyone should possibly care what they think about anything. Just look at these lowlifes. You’ve got Rudy “The Tucker” Guiliani, presently in the conversation for “Worst Human Alive.” You’ve got talking head and Nazi impersonator (or is he one?) Sebastian Gorka. There’s Kimberly Guilfoyle, a person shameless enough to accept the title “Donald Trump Jr.’s girlfriend.” One can only assume that Greitens believes there’s benefit to be accrued in the Republican freefor-all to fill the seat of retiring Senator Roy Blunt next year. But one thing is certain: Not a soul who’s not voting in that primary could possibly be tempted to take advice from a grifter like Flynn. Maybe that’s why Republican insiders are so freaked out at the notion of Eric Greitens coming out of his basement, breaking the chains of bondage — or at least putting them away — and returning to public life. Let us not forget

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that it was this very Republican Party that exorcised him from the body politic in 2018. It was not the left, not Kim Gardner, not the media. Nope. It was Greitens’ own political party — the one he had subjected to a hostile takeover in 2016 — that was appalled by his moral unfitness, his lack of candor and character, and his cartoonish arrogance. Some governors aspire to a bully pulpit. Greitens just relished being a bully. But far be it from me to call Greitens names. I’ll leave that to others. “Eric Greitens is a sexual assaulter and a blackmailer; if he’s the Republican nominee, there’s a real chance Democrats win this seat,” Missouri Republican strategist Gregg Keller said. “All Republican efforts need to be bent toward ensuring our party doesn’t nominate a sociopath, which Greitens most certainly is.” Oh, it would be so nice for Keller to be proven right for one of the first times ever. And herein lies the beauty of a Mike Flynn endorsement. Or a Rudy Guiliani endorsement. Or a Sebastian Gorka endorsement. The set of all people who would be persuaded to select their senator based upon the advice of one of these horrible people is most certainly limited to the hard-core, insurrection-loving, low-information, twisted Trump base. If Greitens should win the Republican primary — and breathe life into Missouri’s downtrodden Democratic Party — whichever candidate emerges on the blue side has got to double down on these endorsements. It’s not enough that the worst of the worst are telling Missouri Republicans to elect Eric Greitens to the Senate. The Democrats need to spread the word. In a general election, Mike Flynn’s endorsement of Eric Greitens would write the best campaign ad they could ever hope for. n

Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhar tmann1952@gmail.com or catch him on Donnybrook at 7 p.m. on Thursdays on Nine PBS and St. Louis In the Know with Ray Hartmann from 9 to 11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

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NEWS

Red Flags Before Cop’s Molestation Arrest

rested. He has since bailed out of the Ste. Genevieve County jail. Reached by phone, West wouldn’t comment. “I’d love to talk to you, but I can’t make any statements,” he told the RFT. West started with the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department in January 199 . On Facebook, his profile picture was an illustration of a sword-carrying crusader. It appears to be a depiction of Knights Templar, imagery that white supremacists have adopted and displayed in recent years, including during the deadly Char-

lottesville rally. West also shared posts from a Three Percenters page, a group whose supporters, federal prosecutors allege, took part in the January 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Complaints about posts by West and other officers were a precursor to the exposure of dozens of current and former city cops in 2019 when a Philadelphia-based organization called the Plain View Project released a database of officers in eight cities and their racist or otherwise disturbing social media posts. In October 2017, independent

journalist and livestreamer Heather DeMian sounded the alarm about West. Tagging the police department, she tweeted screengrabs of his Facebook page, which included anti-Muslim memes, reshares of a video of a car ramming protesters, the crusader avatar and reposts from a Three Percenters page. At the time, the Ethical Society of Police, an organization comprising primarily minority officers, tweeted that West had been reported and complaints had been referred to the city’s personnel division but predicted “nothing much will happen.” In 2019, it became clear that the types of posts that filled West’s page were not exactly outliers. The Plain View Project’s database included current and retired officers and their posts. West, who apparently deleted or locked down his public Facebook page at some point after he was outed in 2017, was not among the officers listed. However, when the Public Safety Committee of the Board of Aldermen held a hearing in response to the Plain View’s troubling findings, DeMian was among the public speakers and described posts by West and other officers, urging city leaders to address the dangerous message they sent. “This is more than just social media,” DeMian told the committee. “It’s a cultural problem.” n

St. Louis Firms With Questionable Cherokee Ties Lose Minority Status

Review Committee met July 27 to recommend that the four companies — CCI Environmental Inc., Global Environmental Inc., Premier Demolition Inc., and D.W. Mertzke Excavating & Trucking — be denied minority certification, meaning they can no longer qualify for the select contracts offered to firms in the city’s workforce diversity programs. The action is the latest development in the aftermath of national scrutiny into how federal and local “set-aside” contracts — which are mandated by law to be awarded to minority businesses — have been mismanaged for years. Defying regulations, the programs have allowed a web of alleged ethnic fraud to flourish across dozens of states while diverting hundreds of millions of dollars from members of legitimate native groups. Missouri is at the web’s center. There are no federally recognized Native American tribes based in the state, and there is no state agency that officially recognizes native groups — and yet, Missouri

is home to at least three self-described “Cherokee tribes,” including the Northern Cherokee Nation. Headquartered more than 200 miles from St. Louis in Clinton, Missouri, the Northern Cherokee Nation was founded in the early 1980s. It is not one of the three Cherokee tribes recognized by the federal government. The group’s dubious claims to authenticity were key to the 2019 lawsuit, which the companies had filed in response to St. Louis’ first action to remove them from its roll of minority-owned businesses. Filed in federal court, the lawsuit accused city officials of discriminating against the companies’ owners by holding them to a different standard than those companies seeking certification as other minorities. “The City’s policy ... treats Native Americans differently than African Americans, Hispanic Americans and Asian Americans on the basis of race,” the lawsuit argued, “because it allows those groups to simply

Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

he St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department was warned police Officer Mark West was a problem years before he was arrested last week on charges he repeatedly molested a young girl. As early as 2017, people in and out of the department were complaining to police brass about West’s Facebook posts, which included racist memes and celebrated violence against police protesters. At the time, West had a public Facebook page, where he reposted scores of right-wing memes. Many featured slurs against Muslims. Whether West faced any discipline is unclear. A department spokesperson wouldn’t discuss any complaints against the officer, citing a policy against speaking about “personnel” issues. But West, who had been named the 2016 officer of the year in the city’s First District, remained on the force. He was at the station on September 20 when Missouri state troopers took him into custody on three felony charges of molesting a child younger than twelve years old. Prosecutors in Ste. Genevieve County, where West lives, claim in court records that the officer abused a girl he knew in recent months in a swimming pool in the county. In a news release last week, investigators with the Missouri State Highway Patrol suggest there could be more victims and ask anyone with information to contact them. The charges against West were handed up last week but temporarily sealed after prosecutors told a judge they were concerned that, as a police officer, he had access to guns and could harm himself or others. The court records were only unsealed, with his address redacted, after West was ar-

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St. Louis police Officer Mark West is facing three felony charges. | STE. GENEVIEVE SHERIFF

Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

our St. Louis companies that sued the city in 2019 over alleged discrimination have (for the second time) been denied minority status over their links to the Missouri-based Northern Cherokee Nation. The self-described “Cherokee tribe” is not recognized by the federal government. It maintains unsupported — and, in some cases, provably false — claims to Native American ancestry. According to records obtained through a Sunshine request, the city’s Program

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Chief Ken “Grey Elk” Descombes of the Northern Cherokee Nation. | DANNY WICENTWOSKI claim an origin from one of those groups of people to qualify as a Minority Group Member, but does not allow Native Americans to qualify in the same way.” But the city’s policy was in line with federal law, which requires that companies seeking minority status as Native Americans be linked to a tribe recognized by the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs. As it turns out, this federal law has been widely ignored for nearly a decade. In the summer of 2019, a jaw-dropping investigation from the Los Angeles Times found that the regulations for certifying Native American-owned businesses were unenforced across the country — at both the local and federal levels. The lapses have allowed companies to reap the benefits of minority status even though their owners have no verifiable native ancestry. The Times investigation featured several St. Louis companies, including those just recently decertified. Enlisting the aid of a genealogist and the Cherokee Heritage Center, the Times found that the ancestors of both Vicki Dunn, owner of Global Environmental, and Bill Buell, the owner of Premier Demolition, were listed as white on census and death records. Both company owners had been minority-certified through their membership in the Northern Cherokee Nation. For Premier, the certification allowed it to win a $311,000 city demolition contract in 2017. Meanwhile, Dunn’s minority status opened the door to an $80,000 city contract — but the real money was the federal jobs, for which their contracts were measured in the millions. As the Riverfront Times later confirmed, it was the inquiries from the

Times journalists that alerted St. Louis officials to the fact that its workforce diversity program had awarded lucrative contracts to companies linked to the Northern Cherokee Nation. In an interview days after the Times published its investigation on June 26, 2019, then-St. Louis city counselor Julian Bush told the RFT that the city “came to have qualms” over whether a total of five companies in its diversity program “truly were American Indians.” As meeting records show, those qualms led the city board that regulates certifications for minority-owned businesses to meet on June 12, 2019. The board voted unanimously to decertify a total of five St. Louis firms. In response, four of the companies sued the city. Delayed by the pandemic, the lawsuit spent another year rolling through federal court before U.S. District Judge Rodney W. Sippel issued a consent judgment on April 12. While dismissing demands for damages, Sippel did order the city to pay the companies a total of $15,000 for attorney costs. Limited in scope, the order did not weigh in on the veracity of the Northern Cherokee Nation’s claims to authenticity; instead, the judge simply ordered the city to accept new applications from the four companies seeking certification as minority-owned businesses. St. Louis complied — and less than three months later, faced once again with company owners claiming native heritage through the Northern Cherokee Nation, the city responded the same way: denied. n

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THE BIG MAD Govern-Mental Ventilator blues, buffing the bluffs and Parson’s war on cops Compiled by

DANIEL HILL

elcome back to the Big Mad, the RFT’s weekly roundup of righteous rage! Because we know your time is short and your anger is hot: KIDS THESE DAYS: Not a day goes by that we don’t ask ourselves what in the heck is wrong with people. This week, our ire is pointed at the idiots that sprayed graffiti on a limestone bluff at Hickory Canyons Conservation Area in Ste. Genevieve County, forcing Missouri Department of Conservation staffers to grind down the limestone to remove it and try to restore the natural beauty of the place. To the people with the spray paint: What the heck is wrong with you? Since you just sprayed your names and dumb smiley faces, we’re assuming that you’re stupid kids and not professional artists. And as stupid kids, you should know that it’s much cooler to spray paint goverment buildings. We’re not saying don’t tag anything anywhere, we’re saying that you should be more strategic with your vandalism! You go out into nature to get high, not to tag shit! Keep the tagging in the city, keep the weed in the woods. Didn’t your parents teach you anything? HEARTS OF STONE: Really, would it have been so fucking hard to wear your mask at the Rolling Stones concert at the Dome at America’s Center? We’re almost two years into this thing and you’re still being pissy little babies about masks? Every photo from the event showed a sea of maskless people with just a few non-idiots sprinkled in with their faces covered. The hospitals are full, the nurses are at the end of their ropes, the vaccine isn’t infallible, yet still, you won’t make even basic moves to protect yourselves or those around you. Some 688,000 people have died from COVID in this country, and at the rate we’re going we’ll see hundreds of thousands more slowly suffocate to death because nobody is willing to face reality. To quote the Stones: “Ain’t nobody slowing down, no way / Everybody’s stepping on their accelerator / Don’t matter where you are / Everybody’s gonna need a ventilator.” JIMMY KIMMEL DEFENSE SQUAD: Jimmy Kimmel caused quite the stir in St.

Louis this week when he went up against Imo’s Pizza’s No. 1 fan, Simone Biles, over the infamous ’za. On his show, he told Biles the pizza was “very, very bad,” leading the gymnast to challenge him to combat over his opinion. But in defense of Kimmel, we’d like to emphasize the very fact that St. Louis itself is split over our pizza. Depending on who you ask, you either get the “cracker with cheese” mentality or immediately pointed to a shrine dedicated to the Provel gods. With a wife from St. Louis who loves the pizza while the Brooklyn native says it tastes like melted plastic, he represents a very real split. St. Louis was quick to throw Kimmel under the bus for his thoughts on our culinary proclivities, but we all should be praising him for his bold stance. Standing up to Biles is no feat. She’s proven herself time and time again as a strong woman, going up against predators like Larry Nassar, and as an undefeatable gymnast who knows when to take a break. And while Kimmel will never be widely beloved by St. Louisans in the way Biles is, maybe we all should take a second to recognize the tenacity of Kimmel to go against a city as passionate as St. Louis. That takes some serious balls. We respect it. QUICK ON THE FLAW: Governor Mike Parson is apparently having second thoughts about Missouri’s publicity stunt gun rights law now that the cluster it has caused is too obvious to ignore. In June, Parson signed the Second Amendment Preservation Act at a gun shop called Frontier Justice, grinning like he’d just won a lifetime supply of Werther’s Original candies. “This legislation today draws a line in the sand and demonstrates our commitment to reject any attempt by the federal government to circumvent the fundamental right Missourians have to keep and bear arms to protect themselves and their property,” he said at the time. But guess what? Cops hate it. Parson was so eager to own the libs that he and Republican legislators ignored police chiefs across the state who warned the $50,000 penalty for anyone caught helping enforce federal gun laws would make all those federal task forces they count on unworkable. KMOV was the latest to point this out, and Parson admitted to them the law needed to be revisited so they could “move forward on this, without causing problems for local law enforcement or the federal agency.” Parson meant the law to be a message to President Joe Biden, KMOV reports, which tracks with the governor’s “line in the sand” machismo. But the weird thing about treating laws like press releases is that laws stay laws, with actual consequences that outlast the headlines. n

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On the edge Missouri Republicans are part of a massive fight to restrict voting access. What happens if they win? BY DOYLE MURPHY

wenty-three floors below one of Senator Roy Blunt’s regional offices, dozens of demonstrators spill across the sidewalk outside of the federal courthouse building in downtown St. Louis. The soon-to-retire Republican is not one to engage a rally not of his choosing, and even so, he’s almost surely not upstairs, having spent the mid-September morning with Congresswoman Ann Wagner at the former home of Ulysses S. Grant to announce legislation seeking posthumous honors for the Army general and former president. Still, those outside the courthouse hope Blunt is not entirely out of reach. “We know much is at stake,” Denise Lieberman, a voting rights expert and director of the Missouri Voter Protection Coalition, says from atop a set of courthouse stairs. “Our democracy is in crisis. We have witnessed a full-scale assault on our freedom to vote right here in Missouri and in states around the country.” Lieberman and MOVPC have been fighting a succession of restrictive voting bills and practices in Missouri for fifteen years, and this stretch between elections and state legislative sessions would normally be a lull in the ongoing battle. But the fight over who has a say in our government has multiplied in intensity in the aftermath of the 2020 presidential election. Ex-President Donald Trump’s continued insistence on lying about widespread voter fraud and a stolen election has prompted an

onslaught of legislation from Republicans in statehouses across the country that would restrict access to the polls. The fact that no mass fraud has ever materialized has done nothing to slow the pace. Missouri politicos, including rightwing candidates hoping to out-Trump each other in the campaign for Blunt’s Senate seat, have played an outsized role in seeding distrust in the election system. Attorney General Eric Schmitt, one of those would-be successors to Blunt, pulled Missouri into one losing legal battle after another to challenge the results in swing states. The state legislature is peppered with senators and representatives on the right who have openly suggested Trump won — and others nervous about what would happen if they admit he didn’t. And Secretary of State Jay Ashcroft has tried to stand in two

places at once: arguing Missouri elections have been safe and secure under his watch, while simultaneously claiming the state is wide open to fraud if it doesn’t place more restrictions on voters. Lieberman sees an old playbook at work — targeting low-income and minority voters by adding unnecessary barriers. But she also sees hope at the state level in Missouri’s protective constitution and nationally in a package of voting reforms that rival the Voting Rights Act of 196 in their potential to ensure everyone has a right to be heard. Protecting that right, she says in an interview, is at the heart of freedom and self-determination. “If I don’t have the ability to have a say so in my community, if I don’t have an ability to speak publicly, if don’t have an ability to hold my elected officials accountable, if don’t have any ability to have a voice in my own destiny or in the futures of my children, how am I truly free?” she asks. “And that’s why, for me, this is a moral imperative.” The rally below Blunt’s office at Thomas F. Eagleton United States Courthouse is aimed at appealing to the senator’s moderate angels. Blunt and his colleagues have been called upon to approve — or reject — the most sweeping package of changes to U.S. voting laws in three generations. The Freedom to Vote Act, potentially the most viable of several major voting bills, includes reforms such as expanding opportunities to cast a ballot, outlawing the practice of spreading election misinformation, banning partisan gerrymandering, fighting discrimination

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ON THE EDGE

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and shifting campaign finance away from dark money powerbrokers. Support has been split in Congress among party lines, but the demonstrators hope to sway Blunt as he eyes the exit on his long career in public office. “Finish the job!” they shout. Technically, demonstrators are calling on Senator Josh Hawley as well, but he is all but a lost cause. Hawley, who has an office next to Blunt’s in the upper reaches of the courthouse, is essentially a lieutenant of the forces those at the rally are fighting against. He was the first senator to announce he would object to certifying the Electoral College results in the 2020 presidential election. The move positioned him to capture the attention of Trump’s most extreme followers and helped power the narrative of an election system riddled with fraud and crooked officials. On the day of the Senate action, January 6, Hawley was photographed raising his fist to salute people outside the U.S. Capitol who later stormed the building in hopes of reversing Trump’s defeat. And when rioters were finally cleared from the Capitol and senators emerged from safe rooms, he was one of just six who objected to certifying the election results. No one outside the courthouse is reaching Hawley. Just the mention of his name alongside Blunt’s draws sarcastic laughter from the crowd. But Lieberman is concerned. There are plenty of people in power right now who share Hawley’s positions, or at least, his political instincts. “I’m not trying to sound dramatic here,” Lieberman says later, “but the fate of democracy hangs in the balance right now in a way we haven’t seen since the Civil War period.”

ieberman’s reference to the Civil War was no offhand comment. Dating back to its inception, Missouri has played a long and often unflattering role when it comes to voting rights. Famously, the Dred Scott case was tried at St. Louis’ Old Courthouse, just a few blocks from where Blunt and Hawley now have offices. (The voting rights rally featured performing artist Peggy-Neely Harris acting out a scene drawn from the case.) The Supreme Court ruled against Scott and his wife Harriet in their bid for freedom in 18 . The decision undercut the

Missouri advocates for voter access rally on September 17 outside the Thomas F. Eagleton Courthouse in St. Louis. | PHUONG BUI

Missouri Republicans started pushing voter fraud fears long before Trump was anything but a fake mentor on The Apprentice. But now it finds itself part of a growing wave of voter-restriction bills filed by Republican politicians across the country. Missouri Compromise, which Lieberman points out was itself a voting-rights decision, intended to maintain the balance of power between free and slave states. The Dred Scott ruling meant no Black men or women were guaranteed citizenship, and it helped lead to civil war. Less than twenty years later, the Old Courthouse again played host to a case with critical implications for voting rights. After Virginia Minor, an activist for women’s suffrage, was blocked in 18 2 from registering to vote in St. Louis, she sued through her husband, a lawyer. The issue eventually landed in the hands of the Supreme Court, which ruled against Minor, finding that the authority to recognize voting rights of wom-

en fell to individual states. Denied a federal solution, suffragettes shifted to a state-by-state strategy. More recently, and relevant to today’s landscape of cultivated distrust, St. Louis was the scene of voting fraud allegations that drew national headlines in 2000. Then-Senator Kit Bond accused city Democrats of stealing a Senate seat that year from Republican John Ashcroft in favor of the late Mel Carnahan, who had been killed in a plane crash three weeks before. Nearly 0,000 people, the majority of them Black, had been purged without notice from voting rolls heading into the election, author Carol Anderson recounted in the New York Times in 2018. In the ensuing election-day cluster of confused voters arriving to cast

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their ballots, a judge ordered polls kept open for an extra three hours to sort out the problems. The order was reversed in a rapid-fire appeal, but instead of decrying the disenfranchisement of multitudes of voters, Bond alleged massive fraud. The sight of him pounding his fist on a lectern while shouting about what an “outrage” it all was only intensified an ugly day. And Bond wasn’t letting go. “I think the evidence points very strongly to a major criminal enterprise,” the senator later said at a news conference. “And if this, in fact, happened, if there is evidence of it, I believe prosecution of those who committed any of the acts in the conduct of a conspiracy to defraud voters should be brought to justice.” But there wasn’t evidence. An examination of 2. million votes cast in Missouri in 2000 eventually turned up just six confirmed cases of ineligible people voting, including people who may have made a mistake. But the narrative carried forward. It is often seen as a key contributor to the genesis of “Stop the Steal” and other unsupported voter fraud claims that Trump used to shatter trust in the election system.

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he specter of voter fraud, regardless of the type, has proven adaptable to any number of specific restrictions proposed as protections for election integrity. Conspiracy theories about stolen elections somehow become justification for denying people drinking water and food at poll lines. A Trump defeat in a red state is morphed into a need to replace the people in charge of counting votes. The thud of unpopular ideas is spun into redistricting. Voting rights experts warn the country is facing a crisis, and the rapid upending of previously accepted values and institutions will cause disaster if left unchecked. “The rhetoric is so overheated that I think it provides the basis for millions of people to accept an actual stolen election as payback for the falsely claimed earlier ‘stolen’ election,” Rick Hasen, co-director of the Fair Elections and Free Speech Center at the University of California-Irvine, recently told Politico. “People are going to be more willing to cheat if they think they’ve been cheated out of their just deserts. And if [you believe] Trump really won, then you might take whatever steps are necessary to assure that he is not cheated the next time — even if that means cheating yourself. That’s really the new danger that this wave of voter fraud claims presents.” Missouri Republicans started pushing voter fraud fears long before Trump was anything but a fake mentor on The Apprentice. But now it finds itself part of a growing wave of voter-restriction bills filed by Republican politicians across the country. And experts worry that the sum of those many assaults on the trust of elections will have dire consequences. “The typical response by a losing party in a functioning democracy is that they alter their platform to make it more appealing,” Kenneth Mayer, an expert on voting and elections at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, told the New York Times. “Here the response is to try to keep people from voting. It’s dangerously antidemocratic.” In Missouri, Republicans have repeatedly tried to implement a photo-ID requirement at the polls. Republicans have tried for fifteen years to make that happen, despite a pair of Supreme Court rulings in opposition. Earlier this month, state legislators began laying the groundwork for yet anoth-

er attempt. “It’ll be Groundhog Day again in the General Assembly,” state Representative John Simmons (R-Washington) promised at a September 15 hearing of the House Elections and Elected Officials committee. Simmons sponsored a photo-ID bill last session that passed the House but ultimately fell short of making it into law. He has yet to file an updated version for the upcoming session, but the House committee decided to take up the issue anyway in anticipation that Simmons or someone will try again. Secretary of State Jay Ashcroft was among those who testified at the September 15 hearing. More than two decades after his father lost to Carnahan, Ashcroft is the state’s top election official and a leading voice on the supposed potential dangers of widespread voter fraud. He recently suggested new changes he says would protect the integrity of upcoming elections, such as severely limiting vote-by-mail options and prohibiting election workers from helping voters fix minor problems on their ballots so their vote doesn’t get thrown out. At the House committee hearing, he spoke in favor of requiring a photo ID. “We’re trying to make the law more secure but also make sure that everybody can vote that’s legally registered,” Ashcroft said. “It’s that simple.” He concedes he has encountered few examples of actual voter fraud. The 2020 elections, which included expanded eligibility for mail-in and absentee ballots as a concession to the pandemic, were among the state’s safest in Ashcroft’s assessment. He has, however, sought to strictly limit such options in the future, claiming they leave the state’s systems open to abuse. Among his only examples of alleged fraud are cases of two St. Charles men, who Ashcroft claims voted in 2020 in Missouri as well as Florida. In an August news release with the headline “Ashcroft Uncovers Voter Fraud and Demands Prosecution,” the allegations are described briefly before a rapid transition to voter fraud writ large. “Though Secretary Ashcroft is confident these isolated issues are not indicative of problems with Missouri elections, he continues to encourage the legislature to pass strong election changes that would deter and eliminate voter fraud,” the news release says. The release does not explain how the type of fraud that a driver’s license might prevent — imposters voting under another’s name —

would have prevented one person from illegally casting two ballots under their own name. Critics of photo-ID requirements point out that those least likely to possess a driver’s license or a government-issued, non-driver ID are low-income people who do not own cars and who already face other barriers to voting, such as shifting home addresses and work schedules that don’t accommodate running around during business hours to gather documents or vote in person. Currently, Missouri voters can use a variety of documents, such as a paycheck, to prove identity. But supporters of photo-ID requirements say they’ll be improving the lives of those same people by forcing them to secure a government-issued photo ID. In the House committee hearing, Representative Dan Shaul (R-Imperial) asked Ashcroft about the other uses for photo IDs during the House committee hearing. Together, they talked through a list of benefits, such as using an ID for banking or entering some government buildings. “So actually, you’re doing more for the good of the people to give them the ID they need to do more than just vote, and you’re doing it free of charge?” asked Shaul, who chairs the committee. “We hope it helps people,” Ashcroft replied. The secretary of state said his office has helped about 1,000 people per year obtain photo IDs. His office has money set aside to help people obtain the documentation, such as birth certificates and other records, needed to complete the process, he added. Simmons, the likely sponsor of another photo-ID bill, said those helped by Ashcroft’s efforts would be better off. “I applaud the secretary of state and the general assembly who put that provision in to help these people live a more engaged life as well as allow them to vote and have it be a protected vote,” he said.

hoto-ID requirements and other restrictions are not doing any favors for people already facing barriers to voting, says Lieberman of MOVPC. As a longtime attorney working on voting access cases, she represented plaintiffs in North Carolina, where lawmakers sought information on the type of voting methods used most by different races and then drew up legislation that — surprise — hit minority constituents particularly hard. A federal appeals court said the resulting

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law targeted Black voters with “nearly surgical precision.” New voting restriction laws tend to work that way, Lieberman says. And there has been a flood of them as Trump’s false claims of fraud have taken hold with his base. More than 400 bills that would restrict voting access had been filed by mid-July in 2021 in statehouses across the country, according to the Brennan Center for Justice at New York University Law School. More than 30 of those bills in eighteen states have been passed into law. “They are targeting the very practices that voters of color use the most,” Lieberman says in an interview. She describes the tactics as “un-American” and considers them a sign of a failure in messaging and vision, an attempt to rig the system as a way to advance unpopular platforms. “Instead of attempting to include those individuals or expand their base, they realize they can more effectively win elections by limiting who’s able to participate,” she says. Lieberman was among those who spoke at that September 15 hearing of the House Elections and Elected Officials committee. Ashcroft had told the committee his office was helping about 1,000 people a year obtain a valid, government-issued photo ID, but Lieberman warned that pace wouldn’t come close to reaching the bulk of those who are legally registered but lack a valid driver’s license or non-driver’s ID. A 2017 report from the secretary of state’s office counted more than 200,000 people who fell into that category. And while it’s possible the true number is lower due to deaths and registered voters who have moved out of state or otherwise remain on the books, tens of thousands would be left in the wide gulf that remains. Lieberman urged lawmakers to go a different route: expand access, make it easier to register, easier to vote by mail and abandon the long-running attempt to force new burdens onto people who can least afford them. “It’s patently unconstitutional,” she said of strict photo-ID requirements. “We will file a lawsuit. It will be struck down. I suggest that it is folly to yet again consider legislation that it knows to be unconstitutional, that it knows to be struck down. Lawmakers took an oath to defend and protect the constitution of this state. We should not be promulgating legislation that we know clearly and fully to be unconstitutional.” n

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CAFE

[REVIEW]

More than Meats the Eye Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions takes a chef’s approach to butchery in its new location — with delicious results Written by

CHERYL BAEHR Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions 2733 Sutton Boulevard, Maplewood; 314647-2567. Mon.-Fri. 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sat. 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun. 9 a.m.-2 p.m.

f you want to understand what chef and restaurant owner Chris Bolyard means when he says he approaches butchery from a cook’s perspective, you should try his fried bologna sandwich. As close to the thin, pasty, redsynthetic-casing-wrapped meat found in the grocery store’s deli case as canned ham is to prosciutto di Parma, the version served at Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions is revelatory. What would typically be thought of as throwaway cuts from breaking down a cow are transformed into stunning hunks of sliced meat with a rustic texture akin to a summer sausage. Garlicky, salty and about a quarter inch in thickness, the beef, pork and bacon concoction is stacked onto grilled sourdough bread with molten American cheese and rich remoulade sauce like an impossibly gooey grilled cheese. Chow chow, composed of pickled vegetables, and briny dill pickles take a sandwich that could have been overly decadent and balance it with their vibrant, vinegary taste. No mere culinary mortal could give a glow-up of this magnitude to such an oft-disregarded processed meat. To take such humble, lesserused cuts of meat and turn them into something magical is why Bolyard, together with his wife, Abbie, opened Bolyard’s in the first place. A Culinary Institute of America-trained chef, Bolyard never set out to be a butcher, in-

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Bolyard’s now has space for even more tasty offerings. Pictured: Reuben sandwich, Umami Burger, succotash and tallow fries. | MABEL SUEN stead launching his career in finedining restaurants, including the acclaimed Sidney Street Cafe under James Beard Award-winning chef Kevin Nashan. There, Bolyard served as Nashan’s sous chef and was exposed to whole-animal butchery and charcuterie-making — skills that were personally satisfying but also opened his eyes to an ethos of sustainability and the importance of using the entire animal in a variety of creative ways. Opening a restaurant was always something he and Abbie had dreamed of, but the more he got to thinking about where they could make the biggest impact, the more their ideas coalesced around a butcher shop. In 201 , they took the leap and opened the original Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions in a small storefront in Maplewood, where they immediately garnered a reputation as the place in town to go for the highest-quality humane-

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ly raised meat you could find. A small sandwich counter was part of their operation from the get-go, but they had always wanted to do more than the space would allow. That realization led them to think about expanding, and when they heard that the former Dubliner building right up the street was available, they decided to expand both their butchery offerings and menu, turning Bolyard’s into a full-fledged restaurant and butcher shop. The new digs opened this past May, creating what Bolyard describes as a hybrid between the butchery work he has been doing for the past seven years and his prior experience cooking in restaurants. To him, Abbie and his staff, the differences between the new and old spaces are significant, but to the guest, the experience feels comfortably familiar. Like at the original location, the

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place is outfitted in white subway tile; a chalk menu, written in the same font as it has been since 201 , advertises available meat cuts, and the stocked butcher case still shows off the shop’s wares. At the new space, black and white butchery-themed wallpaper adorns the walls, and light brown leather stools line the front windows for counter seating. The center of the dining room is filled with spaced-apart tables and chairs, and additional dine-in space is available on the front patio. If the bologna sandwich traces an outline of what Bolyard’s is about, the restaurant’s other dishes fill in that picture. The Pig Pen is a wonderful, Cantonese-barbecueinspired dish featuring succulent pork char siu that is so slow-cooked it’s almost the silken texture of rillette. Earthy gochujang mayonnaise accents the meat, and sweet and sour cabbage cuts through the

Chris Bolyard in the butchery room. | MABEL SUEN richness for a beautiful contrast of temperature and flavor. The steak sandwich is another outstanding addition to Bolyard’s repertoire. Here, grilled cuts of mock tender, heel and blade are placed atop crusty ciabatta and generously adorned with horseradish cream, pickled red onions and blue cheese; it’s the steak sandwich that haunts your dreams when you are craving a steak sandwich. Similarly, the Umami Burger is what you’re looking for when you want a cheeseburger — even if you don’t know it. Two perfectly seasoned, thin smashed patties that get that gorgeous crispy meat lace around the edges are paired with raclette cheese; that gives you goo, but also a glorious punch of funk that you don’t get from standard American or cheddar. Mushroom conserva and arugula add a touch of elegance, and umami aioli rounds out this powerful flavor bomb. Paired with a side of crisp golden fries, cooked in beef tallow to give them a deep, rich flavor, it’s one of the classiest burgers and fries you’ll ever have. The Tom Tom also exemplifies how Bolyard’s can take a ubiquitous dish — in this case a turkey and cheese sandwich — and turn it into something spectacular. Here, the difference-maker is the sauce, a mouthwatering concoction of mayonnaise infused with spicy ’nduja sausage. It seems like

such a simple touch, but it takes a standard sandwich and gives it a wonderful complexity. Bolyard’s offers accompaniments to its sandwiches including outstanding, dill-flecked potato salad and crunchy, housemade pork rinds that, when tossed in the optional ranch seasoning, take on the flavor of a porky Cool Ranch Dorito. A summer salad, comprising heirloom tomatoes, cucumber and compressed watermelon and bresaola, is dressed with pistachio pesto and ricotta salata, and is so gorgeous, it could just as easily be on Sidney Street Cafe’s white tablecloths as on the wooden window counter at Bolyard’s. Posloe is another must-try dish; the tomato-based stew, chock-full of pork and hominy, is both rich and bright at the same time — a delicate balance that shows the thoughtfulness that Bolyard and his chef, Remi Didry, put into everything they do. It’s that thoughtfulness — or “cook’s approach” in Bolyard’s terms — that makes the second iteration of Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions such a special addition to the city’s food scene, one that will surely be influencing how and what we eat for years to come.

Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions Fried bologna ........................................... $13 Umami Burger .......................................... $11 Pig Pen ..................................................... $10

WEDNESDAY, 9/29

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[ S T. L O U I S S TA N D A R D S ]

A Taste of Tradition Cyrano’s Café has been serving up sweet treats and treasured memories for 61 years Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

elissa Downs is used to people pouring their hearts out to her with memories of dining at Cyrano’s Café as soon as they learn she co-owns and manages the beloved dessert and dining destination. Sometimes, however, their timing isn’t the best. “I run into people all over St. Louis from all walks of life who tell me about their memories,” Downs says. “One time, my dentist launched into a long story about how he went there with his wife. When I gave birth to my daughter at St. Mary’s Hospital, and the OB nurses found out I owned Cyrano’s, they all came and told me how they used to come over, get Cleopatras to-go, bring them back and eat it at the nurse’s station.” Downs knows that hearing those stories at every turn comes with the territory of owning a St. Louis dining institution, one that has been serving some of the city’s most iconic desserts since 1960. And that’s one of the things she loves most about her job. Married into the family that has been running Cyrano’s since 1979, Downs understands that she has a responsibility to be a steward of those memories for people, some of whom remember the original location on Clayton Road and Demun Avenue. That spot, which was opened by John and Francis Marshall 61 years ago, was the go-to place in the St. Louis area for desserts and European-style coffee drinks — beverages that may seem ubiquitous today but were ahead of their time in the pre-Starbucks era. Housed in the basement of a building that had a hi-fi stereo store above it, the original Cyrano’s was dimly lit and

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The desserts will always take a starring role at Cyrano’s, but it is the memories and relationships that keep regulars coming back. | ANDY PAULISSEN intimate, its soundtrack provided by a reel-to-reel tape player that kids in tuxes and formal dresses would sway to as they waited for their tables after attending prom. In 19 9, a fire tore through the building and destroyed the original location, prompting the Marshalls to relocate to a storefront on Big Bend Boulevard just around the corner. Not long after, they opened a sister restaurant in Westport Plaza called De Bergerac’s, but when it failed to take off the way that Cyrano’s did, they shuttered it and decided to reevaluate whether they wanted to keep going in the business. Though

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“People want to hang onto tradition. There’s a lot of meaning and emotion that people associate with food.” they continued to run Cyrano’s for a bit longer, they eventually

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sold in 1985 to the O’Donnell family, who turned the establishment into a place as equally focused on dinner as dessert. Reinvented as a fine-dining restaurant with steaks and seafood, Cyrano’s operated under the O’Donnells’ watch until 1996, when they sold it to Carolyn and Charlie Downs, Melissa Downs’ in-laws. Though the sale gave Carolyn and Charlie the rights and furnishing to Cyrano’s, they were not yet ready to go all-in on running the place. This was because they were focused on helping with another titan of St. Louis’ restaurant history: Harvest. Together, Char-

The current location in Webster Groves is the restaurant’s third. | ANDY PAULISSEN

Upscale dining became part of the restaurant’s tradition over the years. | ANDY PAULISSEN lie Downs, Steve Gontram and George Mahe built up the iconic eatery, with Carolyn in charge of its most notable dish. “The Harvest bread pudding is Carolyn’s original recipe,” Melissa Downs says. “She’s an incredible pastry chef who started baking pies and desserts for the restaurant out of her kitchen. Her father owned a diner in Illinois, and she never went to [culinary] school; she’s entirely self-taught.” In 2003, Carolyn and Charlie decided that they were finally ready to go off on their own and invest themselves fully into reopening Cyrano’s. They found a new loca-

tion, still on Big Bend Boulevard, but down the road in Webster Groves, where they have been ever since. There, in a light-filled space that used to house the outdoor retailer the Alpine Shop, the elder Downs worked hard to recreate the joy of the original and second Cyrano’s locations while keeping things current. They measure their success in the regulars they have gained throughout the years — some new to the current spot and some going back decades — and have delicately balanced the importance of keeping old favorite dishes while offering new items for the current generation

of diners. Now, Cyrano’s is in the hands of Melissa Downs, together with her husband Chip and her brother-inlaw and his girlfriend, who have all committed to carrying forth its legacy. This includes making sure that they offer some of the original favorites, like the Cleopatra — which consists of French vanilla ice cream, bananas, strawberries, rum sauce, gold brick and whipped cream — as well as the tableside flambes and World’s Fair eclairs, while also perfecting classic comfort food desserts like chocolate cake and apple pie. Downs knows people keep coming back because the desserts are excellent. Taught by his talented mom, Chip is now at the helm of the pastry kitchen, working hard to make sure that whatever he serves, it’s the best version of what it can be. However, if Downs has to put her finger on what makes the restaurant so special to people, it’s less about a particular dish than what that dish represents. “I think a lot of it is the tie-in to memories,” Downs says. “People celebrate special things here — baby showers, anniversaries, birthdays. People get engaged here. Also, because we are a family-run place, the majority of our service staff has been here for years. We have low turnover, so guests get to know the wait staff, and they develop relationships. That means a lot to people.” The foundation of those relationships, particularly in the minds of their regulars, is the trust that Downs and her family understand their vital role in keeping tradition alive — something they are committed to doing because they all understand that, no matter how delicious those Cleopatras are, what they meant to people goes well beyond the taste. “People want to hang onto that tradition,” Downs says. “There’s a lot of meaning and emotion that people associate with food. Whether it’s dessert that Mom made for birthdays or what you had for a particular occasion, people associate that they ate this thing at a certain time in their life, and when they eat it again, they are brought back to it. It’s great to see when something jumps them back to that time in their lives, and it’s so cool to be able to provide that to them.” n

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[BOOZE NEWS]

Bottoms Up Whisky on Washington brings a unique cocktail experience to Wash Avenue Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

hiskey lovers have a new spot for enjoying their favorite beverage, courtesy of one of the spirit’s most ardent fans. Whisky on Washington (1321 Washington Avenue), a new bar from local bourbon enthusiast David Shanks, opened this month in the heart of Washington Avenue’s entertainment district, promising a unique tasting and lounge experience to St. Louis bargoers. According to Shanks, Whisky on Washington is designed for whiskey enthusiasts of all levels — from the inexperienced imbiber looking for guidance from the knowledgeable bartenders to the connoisseur eager to enjoy a favorite label. With the bar, Shanks is hoping to share his passion for the spirit while bringing something unique to the Washington Avenue district — a dream that has been in the works ever since he first got into whiskey while on a trip the Kentucky’s Bourbon Trail. “This really just came from a love of whiskey,” Shanks says. “I was not originally a whiskey drinker — more of a tequila guy — until I took a trip down the Kentucky Bourbon Trail and really fell in love with the science behind it. How it’s done, how it’s aged from start to finish, how to drink it, what the proof means — just everything that goes into a good whiskey. It has such a rich history, and once you understand that, you really try to learn and conquer it, even though that’s not possible.” Shanks, a St. Louis native, never envisioned himself going into the bar business. With a background in education, he assumed that would be his path until he realized just how important to him it was to share his passion for the spirit with others. About three years ago, he decided to go all-in on opening what would become Whisky on Washington, searching several Continued on pg 25

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SEPTEMBER 29-OCTOBER 5, 2021

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[BREWS NEWS]

Meshuggah Seeks New Owner Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

even years ago, Jen Kaslow bought Meshuggah Cafe (6269 Delmar Boulevard, University City; 314726-5662) in the Loop from longtime owner Patrick Liberto for one reason: to make sure that the beloved coffee mainstay stay true to its bohemian roots and continue on as a community gathering place. Now, she’s hoping to pass that torch to the next person as she seeks a new owner for the cafe. “I feel like I took it one step further than where it was, and there is somebody else who has the energy to take it to its next place,” says Kaslow. “My goal was never to have it forever, and I never intended to take it from a sleepy coffeeshop to a place with a line out the door. I can’t say enough about what this place has given me and my family — more than I ever could have given it — but I am going to be an empty nester, and it’s just time.” For roughly 30 years, Meshuggah has been a staple of the Loop — a home away from home for the neighborhood’s chess players, students, artists, musicians, poets and philosophers — that has served as a modern-day salon for the exchange of ideas. When Liberto, who ran the place from 1997 until 2015, told longtime regular Kaslow that he was looking for a buyer, her first thought — like every other regular who adores the place —

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neighborhoods in St. Louis city for the right spot. Once he located the former shoe store on Washington Avenue, he knew he found where he was supposed to be, and after sketching out what he wanted the lounge to look like, he got to work on the buildout. That should have taken about a year, but the pandemic and other surprises that came up during the renovation of the old building delayed his plans. Finally, this July, he was able to open his doors to the public. “Whatever came up definitely did, but it was a blessing in disguise,” Shanks says. “No one wants to be stuck opening a business at the start of a pandemic.” Now, Shanks feels the time is right to offer the full Whisky on Washington experience to his guests, and is eager to provide a warm, welcoming space for people to learn about and enjoy everything from pours of their favorite labels to thoughtful cocktails. He’s proud of the bottle list

Jen Kaslow is looking for a new owner to carry Meshuggah Cafe’s legacy forward. | JESSICA MILNER

was whether or not the next buyer would be able to keep it as it is or betray that ethos. The latter was something she could not bear to see happen, so she decided, on the spot, to take matters into her own hands. “I tend to be someone who wants to find solutions to things, so when he said he was selling, I thought that maybe I could be the solution,” Kaslow says. “I told him, ‘It can’t go away. Who is going to buy it?’ Then I turned to my friend and asked, ‘What if I buy it?’ When he didn’t try to talk me out of it, and told me he thought it was in my wheelhouse, it seemed like it wasn’t such a crazy idea.” Though Kaslow has always seen her-

he’s curated and some of the specialty, whiskey-centric drinks his bar staff has created, including what he describes as the “best Old Fashioned in town,” as well as a Wow-Mo-Politan, which is a whiskeybased version of a Cosmopolitan. Though he is not offering food, Shanks encourages guests to bring in or have delivered food from area establishments. He is particularly excited to have his customers patronize neighboring businesses, such as Blondie’s, 4 AM Kitchen, Rosalita’s, Pop’s and the soon-to-open Harold’s Shrimp & Chicken, because they have been so welcoming to him. As for his bottle list, Shanks is proud of what he’s put together, but he admits that it is never enough for the hardcore bourbon enthusiast. To those who may be looking for more, Shanks invites them to tell him their favorite labels so that he can make sure he builds the most complete whiskey bar in the area. “We have a rule that if we don’t have it the first time you’re here, we will have it when you come back,” Shanks says. “We have an ongoing list of whiskeys, and we

self as a steward of Meshuggah, she made a few updates to the place when she took over that have been well received. Based on feedback she received from a suggestion jar that she put up on Day One of owning the cafe, she added electrical outlets, updated kitchen equipment, put in a kitchen vent and added seating, which gave the place a tiny facelift while maintaining its essential character. “I was super nervous about Patrick’s legacy and the legacy of Meshuggah, because it has such a huge one and people have so many memories,” Kaslow says. “Everybody identifies with it and feels so deeply that it is theirs, so I didn’t want

to be a disruptor. I wanted to keep it the same even though I needed to make some changes.” While she kept the coffee the same — the most common suggestion in her suggestion jar — she did tweak the menu, which resulted in sales going through the roof. After analyzing what was working and what wasn’t, she streamlined the offerings and expanded breakfast dishes, which she felt were missing in the Loop. Her instincts were right; since taking over in 2015, sales have doubled, even with the challenges of trolley construction and the pandemic making owning a business in the Loop difficult. She’s hoping that the next owner will be able to strike that same balance of growth and updates with respect for the past, which is why she plans on being very intentional about who buys the cafe. For her, Meshuggah’s mission has always been community, and she wants the new owner to continue looking to that as the driver for decisions. Though she sees opportunities to do things she hasn’t done, her goal is to put the cafe that means so much to people in the hands of someone who just gets it. “I’m excited for somebody who wants this type of business to take over,” Kaslow says. “It will be hard and sad, and I don’t mind being here during the transition. I came into this not knowing a thing, so it doesn’t need to be somebody in the restaurant business. If I could dream up a buyer, it would be someone who appreciates it for what it is. There are so many interesting people here and interesting stories. The colors in the Loop are just endless.” Kaslow encourages anyone interested in talking to her about buying Meshuggah to reach out to her at kaslowjen@ gmail.com. n

Whisky on Washington is a celebration of all things whiskey. | MIRANDA MUNGUIA can typically get anything in within a day or two; we just send a picture of what they are looking for to our distributors to see who can get it. I’d say half of our col-

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lection comes from customer requests. It’s a fun thing, because every whiskey drinker is an expert. We just want to get out of their way and let them run it.” n

SEPTEMBER 29-OCTOBER 5, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

SEPTEMBER 29-OCTOBER 5, 2021

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[FOOD NEWS]

Planting New Roots CC’s Vegan Spot brings delightful plant-based cuisine to Princeton Heights Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

rinceton Heights has a new destination for vegan cuisine, thanks to Trezel Brown, the chef and owner of CC’s Vegan Spot (4993 Loughborough Avenue, 314-899-9400). The restaurant, which moved from its original home in Alton, Illinois, in late July, is now open at the intersection of Loughborough and Macklind avenues, serving delicious, comfort-food-inspired plant-based dishes to residents — and even those from far and wide. “I had a woman come in from California and had to stop in,” says Brown. “When I was in Alton, I had people coming from all over to try my food, and here at the new location, I still have people driving two hours.” Brown’s unique take on the possibilities of plant-based cooking has been drawing in customers for the past two years at CC’s original Alton location. Though originally envisioned as a gourmet icees shop, Brown began slowly adding to the menu vegan dishes she’d long perfected as a home cook over her first few weeks in business. The response to her food was so positive that she quickly transitioned into a full-fledged plantbased eatery, serving specialties such as vegan fried chicken and mashed potatoes, Ish Bites, which are a vegan version of fish fritters, and two different styles of meatless burgers. Though Brown enjoyed success at the Alton CC’s, she had always envisioned the restaurant as being located in south St. Louis (before signing her lease in Alton, she nearly closed a deal on a Cherokee Street storefront). When she came across the former Corner Bistro space earlier this year, she recognized the opportunity to finally bring her food to an area of town she knew was clamoring for more vegan options. “In Alton, it was my customers driving out to see me, but now I’m

Ish Bites, two kinds of burgers and a hearty salad are part of the comfort-food style at CC’s Vegan Spot. | PHUONG BUI

Though originally envisioned as a gourmet icees shop, the response to her food was so positive that CC’s quickly transitioned into a full-fledged plantbased eatery. driving in to serve my customers,” Brown says. “I do have mixed emotions about closing Alton, because it was my beginning, and I really wanted to keep both, but I couldn’t do both right now.” While Brown hopes to one day open a second location of CC’s either in Alton or north county, for now she is pouring her heart into the Princeton Heights spot. Customers who have been patronizing her restaurant for years will notice all of the favorite foods they’ve come to love, plus some new offerings such as mushroom bites, vegan Rotel nachos, a plantbased version of a French dip, and a pulled jackfruit sandwich. Brown eventually sees CC’s as transitioning to a full-service res-

Owner Trezel Brown says visitors from as far as California have stopped in. | PHUONG BUI

taurant, but for now, she offers counter service only. Still, she has created a space that encourages guests to linger, whether inside the comfortable, light-filled dining room or on the patio in the front of the restaurant. So far, she has been thrilled with the response she’s gotten, noting that business has quadrupled since she moved the restaurant to Missouri. She is hopeful that, should the response continue, she will be able to soon

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expand her hours to include lunch. For now, the restaurant is open Thursdays from 3:30 until 8:30 p.m. and Fridays and Saturdays from noon until 8:30 p.m. “There is such a big vegan community here, and they’ve really come out to support me,” Brown says. “I’m just so proud to be open during this pandemic, and I am grateful that people are willing to put their trust in me to come down and check me out.” n

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SEPTEMBER 29-OCTOBER 5, 2021

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

REEFERFRONT TIMES

[STRAIN REVIEW]

Tommy Chims Smokes Illicit’s Purple Chem Written by

THOMAS CHIMCHARDS

n spite of its considerable level of popularity, there’s a persistent air of confusion surrounding Illicit Gardens’ Purple Chem strain. The problem comes from the moniker of the highly sought-after cultivar. Depending on its provenance, the name “Purple Chem” could refer to either Illicit’s strain, which crosses Stardawg and Purple Punch; or the Cali Connection’s cross between Chemdawg 91 and Pre-98 Bubba Kush, which got first place in the indica category in 2016 in both the Los Angeles and Michigan Cannabis Cups; or Purple Chemdawg, a wellregarded indica-dominant cross between Chemdawg and Granddaddy Purple (and the most wellknown variation out of the three). Even Leafly.com — essentially the online bible of cannabis strains — doesn’t seem to know what’s what in this case. When you search the strain on the site, the Purple Chemdawg variety is the one that comes up, but its description mentions Cali Connection’s variety as well. Making matters even more complicated, its local results for dispensaries at which to purchase the strain are all linked to Illicit’s products. Weedmaps.com, meanwhile, includes this line in its Purple Chem product description: “Purple Chem is sometimes mistakenly called Purple Chemdawg but that’s a different strain.” It’s confusing, yes, but there is one thing that can be said for sure: Illicit’s Purple Chem is a phenomenal strain of cannabis well

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Illicit Gardens’ Purple Chem flower strain comes in the form of purple-flecked buds. | TOMMY CHIMS worthy of its hyped status. In an effort to authoritatively come to that conclusion, I purchased an eighth of the strain for $65 at the newly opened Star Buds dispensary in University City. I opted to pick up a half-gram Purple Chem live resin vape cartridge for $70 as well, owing to the fact that Star Buds offered to toss in a free branded vape battery if I did so, and I’m not one to pass up a deal. I dug into the flower first. Rated at 20.3 percent THC, my jar came packed with smaller popcorn buds, light green in color with plenty of purple spots and rust-colored orange hairs. When I opened the jar, I was greeted with a bright citrus bite and a fuel-like smell, with some subtle floral notes as well. Breaking it up left my fingers dusty as opposed to sticky, with a fine coating of keef covering the buds. On inhale that citrus flavor was most prominent, with some spicy wood notes on the finish. As for effects, Purple Chem de-

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After just a few pulls I found myself brainscramblingly high, wandering into rooms without remembering why, and in general just being spaced out as hell while still feeling great. livers an extremely relaxed high, which first manifests itself in serious puffiness under the eyes and a propensity to get lost in thought

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before giving way to a fairly strong and sedating couchlock effect. It’s spectacular for pain and brings remarkably little anxiety for a strain of its potency, and I wrote in my notes that it’s a perfect “Saturday morning cartoons” strain — a bowl of cereal, a bowl of Purple Chem and some animated programming followed by a lazy afternoon nap would make for a fantastic way to spend a day off, at least in this reviewer’s estimation. The live resin cart, meanwhile, takes the properties of the flower version of the strain and kicks them up several notches. For the uninitiated, live resin is a cannabis concentrate that is flash-frozen before it is extracted rather than being cured or dried, allowing it to retain the terpenes that give the strain its taste and unique effects — in this case limonene, caryophyllene and linalool — meaning that the citrus, wood and floral flavors of the strain were still present here. And at a whopping 69.47 percent THC, Illicit’s Purple Chem packs a wallop. After just a few pulls I found myself brainscramblingly high, wandering into rooms without remembering why, turning lights on and off for no reason, and in general just being spaced out as hell while still feeling great. All of the pain-relieving and relaxing elements of the flower are accounted for in the live resin version as well, but in an even stronger manner — in other words, handle with care if you’re a novice smoker. In sum, regardless of the form it takes, Illicit’s Purple Chem strain is a great choice for those who prefer a cannabis experience that leans on the indica side, with excellent pain-relieving effects and a tremendous sense of relaxation — not to mention its gorgeous looks and flavorful taste. And though its conflation with similarly named strains can bring some confusion, if those other cultivars deliver an experience that’s anything like it, you can definitely sign me up. After all, would not several different flowers all bewilderingly called a “rose” not smell as sweet? n

[CBD + THC]

Care Package Missouri cannabis manufacturer CLOVR introduces new product line Care by Design Written by

JENNA JONES

issouri is about to get a little bit greener. A Kansas City cannabis product manufacturer, CLOVR, is partnering with California company Care by Design to bring medical marijuana tinctures, soft gels and topicals to Missouri dispensaries. The launch features ratioed CBD and THC products. The product’s ratios will be — in amounts of CBD to THC — one to one, two to one, or four to one, with hopes to expand later to products with amounts of eight to one and eighteen to one. The ratios being sold are recommended on Care by Design’s website as products that are best for relaxation or night use. Care by Design and CLOVR say their aim is to help Missouri patients choose a combination that will meet and help treat the ailments they face in a “discreet and effective method.” CLOVR CEO Josh Mitchem says Missouri is looking for a leader in topicals to help with general pain. He is confident that Care by Design will be that leader. Mitchem added the line of products being introduced to Missouri will be tough to compete with. “We are all very excited to see Care By Design hit the shelves to fulfill the needs of the tens of thousands of Missouri patients living in pain every day,” Mitchem says in the press release. “CLOVR prides itself on working with the top cannabis companies in the country, Care By Design is certainly the cream of the crop in the wellness line of cannabis products nationwide.” The partnership focuses on the patient, saying they are trying to help meet their needs with a medical method instead of consuming the “calories and sugar of edibles

Kansas City-based CLOVR is rolling out new CBD drops across the state. | COURTESY CLOVR or the inhalation from smokable products.” Jim Hourigan, Care by Design’s CEO, described the company in a press release as a “wellness brand with deep roots” that “represents a long-standing commitment to harnessing the full therapeutic benefits of cannabis.” Hourigan added Care by Design was the inventor of personalized cannabis care in California, beginning in 2014. With the company’s roots in California, Hourigan has high hopes for the future of the line in Missouri. “Now, we are excited about the launch of Care By Design in the Missouri market and look forward to bringing all the benefits of Care By Design to new customers through the partnership with CLOVR,” Hourigan says. CLOVR’s previous products include concentrates and chocolates. The launch began across Missouri dispensaries on September 20. CLOVR products are found at Swade or Root 66 dispensaries in St. Louis, as well as others. You can search for a dispensary with CLOVR products at clovrcannabis. com/wheres-clovr. n

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SEPTEMBER 29-OCTOBER 5, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

CULTURE

[HISTORICAL RECORDS]

Face the Music History museum’s St. Louis Sound exhibit tells the story of the city’s music scene Written by

JENNA JONES

ane Bergman used to go to shows in Gaslight Square, an entertainment district in St. Louis in the 1950s and ’60s. She describes the belly dancers, the bands and moving from one room playing Russian music to the next playing classical music. Bergman recaps her memories as she stands in front of a Gaslight Square display in the St. Louis Sound exhibit at the Missouri History Museum. The exhibit explores various aspects of the music scene in St. Louis, with highlights of the city’s musical history from Tina Turner to radio shows to instruments to the Riverport riot. Andrew Wanko, a public historian at the museum, spent nearly four years crafting the exhibit with his team. “We essentially wanted it to be a well-crafted album,” Wanko explains. “You’ve got some greatest hits, some deeper cuts, some novelty tunes. We wanted that sort of richness of experience, rather than trying to cram every single St. Louis musician there ever was in.” Wanko says the museum wants to give people an introduction to St. Louis’ significance as a music city so viewers can go out and “sort of explore more on their own.” The exhibit couldn’t have covered every artist or band, and Wanko notes he had to leave out some of his favorite acts. Instead, he says that the museum is telling “the stories that we can tell really well, and just admit that there’s so much more.” “Which, that’s a really good problem to have,” he adds. As Wanko walks around the exhibit, he points to some of the 200 artifacts the museum has col-

RIVERFRONT TIMES

The History Museum’s St. Louis Sound exhibit, focused on both the superstars of the city as well as the more underground artists and elements of the local music scene, will run through January 22, 2023. | PHUONG BUI

“We essentially wanted it to be a well-crafted album. You’ve got some greatest hits, some deeper cuts, some novelty tunes.” lected for St. Louis Sound, some owned and some borrowed. The museum begins with a look at how people have listened to music over the years, including record players, iPods and even the first recording on tinfoil, which may have St. Louis journalist Thomas Mason’s voice on it. But there’s more than just artifacts. Illustrations done by Chiara Andriole are prominent throughout the exhibit, serving as landmarks for different figures. There are millions of photos of

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Tina Turner, Wanko explains, but only one grainy photo of ragtime singer Scott Joplin. Both were important to their genres and for their contributions to St. Louis’ music history, so the illustrations were used to put the artists on an equal playing field. “We use those illustrations as a way to kind of bring that older music to life and put it on par with some of the more recent stuff that has more visual material surrounding it,” Wanko says. Touring the exhibit, Bergman and her daughter Barbie Skinner stop often to take in the sights.

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There’s a dress that belonged to Turner, collections of radios dating from before the FM frequency band existed, the old Mississippi Nights sign and other pieces of St. Louis music history. Memories are scribbled into a notebook outside the Mississippi Nights sign as Wanko flips through the book, looking for his favorite page. “Right here, the first entry is my favorite,” Wanko says. “Rich and Mary Frame were the owners of Mississippi Nights, and the first entry we have is Mary Frame writing, ‘I met my husband here.’”

[BARS]

Sophie’s Artist Lounge Moves to 3333 Building Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

Other scrawlings detail nights at the now-closed venue, tales of drinking beers, working the shows and multiple entries of guests being “pretty sure” they lost their hearing at a concert. As you turn corners, music plays throughout the exhibit, with Nelly’s “Country Grammar” causing Skinner and Bergman to stop and dance. Just next to the wall where Nelly’s music video is showing, a black box sits for those who are hearing impaired to feel the vibrations of the music. Accommodations are placed throughout the exhibit, including audio descriptions of images for those who may not be able to see the displays. Interactive displays also come into play here. Screens decorate walls and displays, allowing for more information on places such as Gaslight Square or for viewers to learn if they would actually like jazz music back when it was

created. “It is an interesting way to get people to look at the wider context of different musical genres and sort of put themselves back in that particular time,” Wanko says. Back at the beginning of the exhibit, a QR code allows guests to dive into a playlist of St. Louis music. There is old-timey blues, jazz and the “St. Louis Bounce’’ music by Nelly, Chingy and J-Kwon. Multiple QR codes are spread throughout as a way to tune in to a given era . As Skinner and Bergman exit the exhibit, they discuss their plans to bring their friends and family members back. The sounds of “Country Grammar” echo as they walk out, and the two are still dancing along to the beat. The St. Louis Sound exhibit is open until January 22, 2023. The museum is also hosting several events in conjunction with the exhibit that can be viewed at mohistory.org. n

beloved community gathering place for St. Louis artists is getting a new home in Grand Center: Sophie’s Artist Lounge will be relocating from its current spot inside the .ZACK building to the newly announced 3333 development. The revamped Sophie’s is scheduled to open to the public on Friday, October 1. Since opening in 2017, Sophie’s has provided a venue for St. Louisarea artists to connect with one another and their audiences over drinks and snacks. In its new home inside the 3333 building, the lounge will build upon that foundation with a new bar menu described in a release announcing the revamp as “creative cocktail focused with a sommelier curated wine and bubbles list as well as locally focused beers, seltzers and N/A beverages.” In addition to beverages, Sophie’s will offer complimentary bar snacks and music by local and national DJs. The venue will be open from 5 p.m. until 1:30 a.m. Wednesday through Saturday and will also be available for events. Parties of four to 20 are encouraged to reserve lounge sections with a catered food spread, bottle and carafe cocktail service. The reimagined Sophie’s is one of the several arts-focused entities announced for the 3333 development, which is spearheaded by the Kranzberg Arts Foundation; other tenants

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A reimagined Sophie’s Artist Lounge is part of the newly announced 3333 Development in Grand Center. | COURTESY KRANZBERG ARTS FOUNDATION that will be located in the building include the St. Louis Fashion Fund, the Shakespeare Festival of St. Louis, Open Studio, Mike Martin Media, Convene Event Space, Mark Buckheit Framing and Paige Avenue Photography. Additionally, the 36,000-squarefoot building will have an art studio and set-building space for Kranzberg Arts Foundation artists. “We are thrilled to add 3333 to the growing family of Kranzberg Arts Foundation spaces as we continue to invest in St. Louis’ arts economy,” says Chris Hansen, executive director of the Kranzberg Arts Foundation, in the release announcing the project. “The Arts and artists are a critical part of our region’s overall economic success and with the right venues and tools, will continue to grow. Now, more than ever, the arts are alive in St. Louis.” n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

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[FILM]

Help Wanted Inside the riveting and joyless world of St. Louis film Part Time Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

here came a moment early in the writing of Part Time, while the script was still growing beyond its first dozen pages, when Stryker Spurlock decided that the plot should be more than an extended gag about spontaneous teleportation. Spurlock, one of the key creators behind the live comedy sketch series Fatal Bus Accident, has created something deeply strange in his first feature film. Part Time premiered at the Arkadin Cinema earlier this summer, and has its next screening set for Saturday, October 9, as part of the Webster Film Series. Shot mostly in Maryland Heights over a period of five years, Part Time is not your traditional slacker comedy. Its lack of mirth is all the more pointed as its cast is almost entirely stocked with familiar faces from St. Louis’ standup comedy scene. Instead, the film’s humor is the abysmally dark variety, a journey into the worming, unmoored existence of its young protagonist, Casey (Casey Paulsen), an aimless book-shop employee whose supernatural tendencies might actually be the most manageable problems in his life. In an interview, Spurlock says he had started writing the film in August of 2016, shortly after meeting Paulsen at a local comedy show. “I started writing this little script, and it was going to be ten minutes, and it was going to be about Casey being a layabout kid who doesn’t do anything, doesn’t talk to anybody. And then he discovers he can levitate,” he recalls. “The joke of the short was going to be he only levitated about an inch off the ground against his will, and it does not aid his life in any way. It’s just a hindrance.” It’s the sort of absurd, self-negating premise that would feel right at home in a script for Fatal Bus Accident, which concluded its fifteen-show run in 2019. By then, however, Spurlock says he was “fed up doing comedy, and I wanted to play with something else.”

“Casey” (Casey Paulsen, center) attempts to serve “The Lord” and “The Lady” in the film Part Time. | FILM STILL That sense of creative restlessness comes through in Part Time, where that “something else” is largely delivered through Paulsen’s performance as Casey, a role which Spurlock says came to life during the shooting. In short, Casey is not OK. Long scenes show him trudging through Maryland Heights and suburban north county, or going through the motions of his workday where his detachment is all the more apparent among his wisecracking coworkers. He is a gray rock, absorbing the concern and attempts at support from his family and friends, and returning only a dull glow of some unspeakable suppression waiting to explode. And then there’s how Casey eats — with violence, he chugs energy drinks, devours candy bars and demolishes a tub of ice cream. Although Spurlock credits Paulsen for infusing these otherwise mundane scenes with the energy of a drowning man, it is Spurlock’s camera that forces the audience to watch him eat the whole thing, bite by bite, over the course of a minutes-long unbroken shot. But Part Time isn’t entirely attached to the main character’s postmodern turmoil or interrogating what part-time work means for someone who is going to pieces before your eyes. Without giving too much away, Casey starts teleporting, and here

“The joke of the short was going to be he only levitated about an inch off the ground, against his will, and it does not aid his life in any way. It’s just a hindrance.” Part Time becomes something almost approximating comedy. These scenes absolutely fly off the rails with the performances of the The Lord (Christian Lawrence) and The Lady (Meredith Hopping). Their tantrums, demands and childlike domineering make Part Time a riveting and unexpected experience — you never know when Casey will turn around and find himself in a Victorian mansion facing two scenery-chewing socialites who never seem to be satisfied. What does it all mean? Spurlock leaves the film intentionally mud-

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died, though several narrative threads offer compelling glimpses into what Casey is going through, and where the film’s climax leaves him. That’s more than Spurlock first intended. During the early stages of writing the script, he says he wanted the film “to be a complete brick wall where there’s there’s no way of understanding what happened.” Instead, it seems he strategically knocked a few bricks loose, leaving just enough room for the audience to peek through. “I didn’t go into this thinking about the audience; I only kind of wanted to make something that I thought would be sick to look at. And I accomplished that mission,” he says. “But I think there are two things I enjoy the most: When people are really delighted by it, and it really resonates with them, they can kind of see themselves in Casey. “And then,” he continues, “I also enjoyed when some people were kind of unsettled by it. Like, if they left the movie kind of uncomfortable about their own life, I think that would be really cool.” Part Time will screen Saturday, October 9, at the Winifred Moore Auditorium (470 East Lockwood, Webster Groves). For ticketing information about the event, visit the Webster Film Series website, at webster.edu film-series. n

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SAVAGE LOVE FIGURATIVELY PISSED BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: I’m worried this may be above your pay grade. LOL. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly five years. When we first got together, he shared a fetish with me, which has honestly gotten out of hand. I’m not close-minded and I genuinely love pleasing people, and my approach to sex has always been, “Whatever turns you on, turns me on!” But his fetish has crossed the line from kink to obsession. Not to mention the onus of his “fetish” falls entirely on me. So, the big reveal: My boyfriend is a urophiliac. But not just your garden-variety one. If he doesn’t get to watch me pee every single time he gets angry. The first two years of our relationship were terrifying because if I peed while he was at work, he would throw a fit of epic proportions. So, I would hold it in. This caused UTIs and other problems. But he still insists that I must hold it in for as long as possible so I can give him “a strong stream” every time. I also have to let him watch me poop, which is embarrassing as hell, because I pee when I poop. If I need to pee in the middle of the night, I have to wake him up — which makes him mad — so instead of waking him up I hold it in all night. It has gotten to the point where his obsession has become mine. But it’s not sexy for me. After I had our child, I literally wasn’t allowed to have 30 seconds alone in the bathroom after shoving a human out of my vagina in full view of ten adults I did not know. Even then — in the hospital — he had to watch me pee. I can’t use the bathroom in public unless I videotape it for him. I’m in hell. I haven’t had a private piss nobody has watched or made me feel guilty about for FIVE YEARS. I feel like my humanity is being leached away. I’ve said all these things to him, and He. Does. Not. Care. This has taken over my entire life. Sorry if it’s weird. I’ve read your columns for years and you’re the only person I can ask about this. LOL. I don’t want to break up my family over this. Help me! Unrelenting Requirements Inducing Nervous Exhaustion You don’t wanna break up your

family over this, URINE, but I sure do. To be perfectly frank, I’d like to break up your boyfriend’s skull over this — figuratively speaking. I’m not advocating violence. It’s just that after reading your letter I wanna figuratively slap your boyfriend upside the head. And while I don’t think your question is above my pay grade — what you need to do seems obvious to me and will, no doubt, be obvious to everyone who reads your letter — I nevertheless called in a couple of experts. Dr. Ian Fields is a urogynecologist who specializes in pelvic-floor disorders and bladder conditions. I shared your letter with him to get his expert opinion on the risks you’re taking with your physical health, URINE, but before Fields would address the health risks you’ve been bullied into running, he wanted to address the elephant in the bathroom and the bedroom and the delivery room. “Let’s call this behavior what it is: abuse,” said Fields. “This woman needs to get out of this controlling and abusive relationship.” I am in complete agreement with Fields, URINE: You’re not indulging a kinky boyfriend, you’re being terrorized (your own words) by an abusive boyfriend. Leave him. “In terms of health risks, there are many,” Fields continued. “Keeping large amounts of urine in your bladder is a set up for recurrent urinary tract infections. These infections can track upwards to the kidneys in some cases and cause an infection in the kidney called pyelonephritis. Recurrent bouts of pyelonephritis can lead to permanent kidney damage. And you don’t want to lose your kidneys — once they lose function, it doesn’t return.” Destroying your kidneys isn’t the only health risk you’re running, URINE. “Keeping large amounts of urine in the bladder can lead to a bladder stretch injury and may lead to longstanding urinary retention — or the inability to empty the bladder — which may or may not recover over time,” said Fields. “The bladder is a pretty hearty muscle and can recover from many insults, but repeated damaged like this could do irreparable harm. In addition, these insults could lead to overactive bladder and, with time, to urgency urinary incontinence, that is, leakage that you cannot control

when you get the urge to go to the bathroom.” So, URINE, the health risks you’re running to avoid your boyfriend’s anger cannot be described as insignificant. Now let’s talk about the emotional and psychological damage your boyfriend has already inflicted on you. “If this woman came to me for individual therapy, I would be compelled to point out to her that her boyfriend is physically and emotionally abusing her,” said therapist Marissa Myers. “Getting ‘uncomfortably angry’ and ‘throwing a fit of epic proportions’ are examples of manipulative behaviors abusers use to make sure their victims know who’s in charge. The disregard this man has for her physical health and safety raises the bar to physical abuse in my opinion.” Myers frequently works with individuals and couples to help them resolve conflicts around sex and intimacy, URINE, but she would not work with you — alone or as a couple — with the goal of saving this relationship. “Working with this reader on how to compromise or communicate better regarding this issue would amount to facilitating the continuation of an abusive relationship,” said Myers. “My advice to her is to begin gathering resources, telling safe people and planning a safe exit. Once she’s safely out of the relationship, therapy can help her avoid getting into another abusive relationship.” Which is not to say this is your fault, URINE. Your boyfriend manipulated you with his anger and leveraged your own desire to be a good partner against you. And while it’s fine to fantasize about watching your partner pee every time she pees, it’s unrealistic and unfair and unworkable to demand that your partner allow you to watch them every single time they take a piss. There’s nothing LOL about any of this, URINE, and I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear. And while I’m sure you love your kid and don’t regret having that baby, URINE, you can’t let your desire to keep your child’s home intact prevent you from escaping the hell your boyfriend has made of your life. Take Myers’ advice: Make a plan, lean on supportive friends, take your kid and get away from this man before your

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kidneys explode. Hey, Dan: I’m a happily married (mostly) lesbian woman. I am somewhat attracted to men, but only in the context of a threesome with my wife. While I don’t have any desire to sleep with men on my own, I do like giving handjobs to men along with the occasional blowjob. My wife knows about this and is fine with it. We can’t really do much by way of threesomes right now for various reasons, so I’m considering finding a guy (if this pandemic ever ends) to indulge me. My wife is a former sex worker and it bothers her that I do this for men — jerk them off, blow them — without any form of reciprocity. She said it’s a service that I shouldn’t be giving away for nothing. I see her point, but I’m not interested in money. An exchange of services sounds interesting though! Like, I will jerk you off if you clean my bathroom or mow my lawn. I have two questions. First, what do you think about my wife’s view on the subject? Second, what’s the best way to find/approach someone who would be into an arrangement like this? The System Called Reciprocity Your wife doesn’t enjoy giving men blowjobs or handjobs, TSCR, so she gets nothing out of blowing or handing some guy. That’s why her male clients had to pay her for her services. You, on the other hand, enjoy giving blowjobs and handjobs, TSCR, and that enjoyment is what you get out of them. As to finding someone who might be interested in being blown or jacked off by a lesbian in exchange for some light housework yardwork, TSCR, there’s this thing called the internet. Maybe you heard Katie Couric talking about it on the Today show in 1994? Well, I think the internet is going to catch on and there are these things on the internet called “hookup apps” where you can post explicit personal ads. But be careful: If you post a personal ad that reads, “Married lesbian seeks houseboy, will milk for chores,” your phone will “blow up.” I think that’s meant figuratively, TSCR, but the internet is so new I can’t promise your phone won’t literally blow up. mail@savagelove.net @FakeDanSavage on Twitter www.savage.love

SEPTEMBER 29-OCTOBER 5, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

SEPTEMBER 29-OCTOBER 5, 2021

riverfronttimes.com

SEPTEMBER 29-OCTOBER 5, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

SEPTEMBER 29-OCTOBER 5, 2021

riverfronttimes.com

Riverfront Times, September 29, 2021

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