Riverfront Times, September 22, 2020

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MARCH 6-12, 2019

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THE LEDE

“I’m here because I feel like women and LGBT [people] are in mourning. It’s important for me to be out here with other people who are feeling similarly — and other people that give me a little bit of hope that other people are out here fighting, and we’re gonna keep fighting no matter what ends up happening.”

PHOTO BY THEO WELLING

AUBRIE HAMPP, PHOTOGRAPHED AT THE RUTH BADER GINSBURG MEMORIAL AT THE GATEWAY ARCH GROUNDS ON SEPTEMBER 19 riverfronttimes.com

SEPTEMBER 22-29, 2020

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OUTSIDER ART

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f you’re missing art galleries and museums, we’ve got a story about a new installation you might want to check out. An all-star crew of St. Louis artists took over the South 40 Underpass at Washington University and created panel after panel of murals that lead viewers (or just busy students) through an introduction into arts movements as well as icons, recent and not, who have shaped our world. It’s an interesting and accessible project, and it’s celebrated in these pages thanks to the talented mother-son duo of Sharon and Nicholas Coulter. Sharon wrote the story, and Nicholas shot the photos. This is the second piece they’ve cooperated on for the RFT, and I think you’ll agree they have a gift for bringing their interest in the arts to the larger world. — Doyle Murphy, editor in chief

TABLE OF CONTENTS CAN’T

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Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Doyle Murphy

E D I T O R I A L Digital Editor Jaime Lees Interim Managing Editor Daniel Hill Contributors Trenton Almgren-Davis, Cheryl Baehr, Eric Berger, Jeannette Cooperman, Thomas Crone, Mike Fitzgerald, Judy Lucas, Noah MacMillan, Andy Paulissen, Justin Poole, Christian Schaeffer, Theo Welling, Danny Wicentowski, Nyara Williams, Ymani Wince Columnist Ray Hartmann Interns Steven Duong, Riley Mack, Matt Woods A R T

& P R O D U C T I O N Art Director Evan Sult Editorial Layout Haimanti Germain Production Manager Haimanti Germain M U L T I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Advertising Director Colin Bell Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel Multimedia Account Executive Jackie Mundy Digital Sales Manager Chad Beck Director of Public Relations Brittany Forrest

COVER Big Art on Campus

C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

Take a tour of art movements — and St. Louis icons — through a new mural project at Washington University

E U C L I D M E D I A G R O U P Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services Stacy Volhein www.euclidmediagroup.com N A T I O N A L A D V E R T I S I N G VMG Advertising 1-888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com

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NICHOLAS COULTER

INSIDE The Lede Hartmann News Feature Short Orders Culture Savage Love 6

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HARTMANN Trading Places What if we swapped county sports protests with BLM? BY RAY HARTMANN

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e’ve all grown weary of “whataboutism” in our politics. To go full Merriam-Webster on you, whataboutism is a tactic regarded by rhetoricians as “a form of tu quoque. It means ‘you too’ in Latin and involves charging your accuser with whatever it is you’ve just been accused of rather than refuting the truth of the accusation made against you.” The intellectuals regard this as a logical fallacy. “Whether or not

the original accuser is likewise guilty of an offense has no bearing on the truth value of the original accusation,” say the dictionary people. Well, I say there’s a time and a place for whataboutism. And this is it. As angry protesters in St. Louis’ comfortable suburbs — mostly white people — have boisterously vented their frustration with the county’s shutdown of many youth sports activities, the scene has provided a delicious opportunity to turn some tables. What if these protests had taken place in the Central West End, where Black Lives Matter supporters famously marched at gunpoint? And what if BLM had come to a wealthy suburb? ust flip the script. et’s soak in a little whataboutism. Let’s imagine that on June 28 it was a group of angry, mostly white protesters who were marching loudly to Mayor Lyda Krewson’s home in the Central West End to

protest a shutdown of youth sports in the city. And let’s imagine that on September 13 it was a group of angry, mostly Black protesters who were marching loudly to St. Louis County Executive Sam Page’s home in his suburban neighborhood. Now before proceeding, a couple of stipulations. I’m not quite ready to equate hundreds of years of racial oppression with a few months of youth sports games getting canceled. That’s not what I’m doing here. And I’m not wild about folks protesting at public officials’ private residences in an event. But these two protests have enough in common that they’re just crying out for a little whataboutism. Both were filled with sincere Americans seeking to exercise their 1st Amendment freedoms of speech and assembly. Both were extremely emotional. Both were nonviolent. Both got media coverage. It’s hardly unrealistic to imagine the scenes inverted. To this

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day, Krewson’s city has stricter regulations on youth sports than Page’s county. As to BLM protests, Blacks in the county have plenty to dislike about the Page administration’s record on racial justice and diversity. So, let’s say the mostly white sports protesters did what the mostly Black BLM protesters did on that fateful day in June. Let’s say they walked through an unlocked gate to walk along what appeared to be public city streets en route to the mayor’s home. And let’s say Mark and Patricia McCloskey were sitting in their nice mansion and heard some commotion and saw these white folks carrying signs. And that they came out on their well-manicured lawn and yelled, “Hey, these are private streets!” I’m going to take a wild guess and sa these fired up sports parents and young athletes — already worked up to a fever pitch about the government trampling their

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rights — would not have come to a screeching halt, gotten real quiet and politely said, “Oh, excuse us for intruding. Can you tell us how we might find a different route to the mayor’s home? We don’t mind a long detour.” They probably would have looked around and seen what appeared to be city streets, sidewalks and road signs and come to the conclusion that these were public streets. They probably wouldn’t have requested the Portland Place covenants to verify the legal status. I think one of two things would have happened. One, some ripped protester with no neck, maybe a wrestler, would have gotten right up into Mark McCloskey’s preppily clad paunchiness and offered, “Yo, you wanna go?” In that case, McCloskey would have waddled back to the safety of his mansion and let the parade pass him by. Alternatively, they might have said, “Don’t you realize our rights are being trampled by big government and they are robbing our children of their constitutional rights to seek sports scholarships and to validate us? And can’t you see we’re mostly well-off white people who might be really litigious?” In the latter case, I’m thinking the McCloskeys are handing out their personal-injury-lawyer business cards — in case anyone slipped and fell on the way to Chez Krewson — and then they’re breaking out refreshments on the lawn. Maybe even a mansion tour for potential clients. Here’s what we can be certain the McCloskeys would not have done: They would not have set up shop with wild-eyed expressions shakil pointing deadl firearms at this group of angry, mostly white sports protesters. No way. One of the talking points today on the political right — without evidence — is that many in the BLM group of protesters were armed and thus a great danger to the McCloskeys. The sports protesters likely wouldn’t have faced such a charge — they’d have been “lawabiding gun owners exercising their 2nd Amendment rights” —but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. In Missouri, tragically, you can walk down the street with a cache of weapons — concealed or hanging openly on your shoulders — and there’s not a thing wrong with it under our current non-laws. And it doesn’t give someone else a right to point a gun at that person. So, the McCloskeys wouldn’t

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What if the youth sports protests had taken place in the CWE instead? have even made the news had it been mostly white sports protesters passing through that day. No guns, no glory. Alas, we would never have heard of the couple, much less have seen them become rock stars at the Republican National Convention, which in previous years was the site of much railing about unscrupulous “trial lawyers” and the need for “tort reform” because of, well, attorneys like the McCloskeys. (I’m on their side of that issue, by the way.) Meanwhile, back in the county, I’m thinking those BLM protesters would have gotten themselves right onto Donald J. Trump’s Twitter feed without a single deadly firearm being aimed at their faces. You see, unlike the angry, mostly white sports protesters, the mostly Black BLM group would have been regarded as a serious public safety threat. “ARMED THUGS ARE INVADING OUR SUBURBS IN ANOTHER DEMOCRAT RUN COUNTY. SAVE THE SUBURBAN HOUSEWIVES!!” Trump would have warned the world. Just the optics of Black people protesting in the suburbs would have been enough to bring in all the 24/7 news trucks, especially in St. Louis. And you can be sure there would have been many more police and a lot more tension than there was with the mostly white sports protesters. And no one would be saying it was all good since BLM folks were standing on public streets and thus posed no problem at all. Tucker Carlson’s head would have exploded. Fox News would have made a state-TV miniseries out of the whole ordeal. Such are the times in which we live. But if, as I suspect, many of my fellow Caucasians do not appreciate the juxtaposition of these two protests, and you’re ready to spew invective and call me all kinds of names, go right ahead. I’ve only got one thing to say: Tu quoque. n Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhartmann@sbcglobal.net or catch him on St. Louis In the Know With Ray Hartmann and Jay Kanzler from 9 to 11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).


NEWS Parson Aims at Kim Gardner, Misses

Mask of Deceit Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

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Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

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issouri Gov. Mike Parson’s election-year maneuver to blame St. Louis Circuit Attorney Kim Gardner for the city’s homicide numbers and hand off certain murder cases to the state attorney general died last week in the House of Representatives. The House closed the veto session on September 16 without even taking up legislation for “concurrent jurisdiction” that would have stripped Gardner of some of her decision-making power as a prosecutor. Parson had pushed a handful of measures on state legislators for a special session, claiming they would combat violent crime. That originally included changes that would have provided a new path for charging as adults kids as young as twelve, repealing a St. Louis rule that required cops to live in the city for their first seven ears, bumped up penalties for selling guns to juveniles and created a witness protection fund. He later tacked on a measure that would have let Attorney General Eric Schmitt take over murder cases that Gardner hadn’t charged within 90 days or that had been charged and dismissed. As ustification, arson and Schmitt blamed Gardner for what they claimed was a backlog of murder cases. However, as we previously reported, the vast majority of open murder cases are open because police hadn’t arrested anyone, not because of what Gardner was doing. Parson has targeted Gardner repeatedly in recent weeks as criticism of his handling of the coronavirus has sharpened and he has tried to amplify a law-andorder campaign message. Often,

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St. Louis Circuit Attorney Kim Gardner will retain her prosecutorial discretion. | DOYLE MURPHY

Governor Mike Parson | TOM HELLAUER the attacks focused more on who she prosecuted than any open cases. When Gardner charged Mark and Patricia McCloskey with gun crimes after they confronted nonviolent protesters marching past their Central West End mansion, Parson joined with President Trump, Senator Josh Hawley and Schmitt in blasting the case as a political prosecution. In a radio interview, he said he would probably pardon the couple if they were convicted. His push for concurrent jurisdiction passed the Republicancontrolled Senate during a controversial overnight vote, but it ran into trouble in the House. The House majority is also Republican, but representatives faced an uncomfortable battle with county prosecutors, who vocally opposed the effort. In a lot of counties, Re-

The Missouri Association of Prosecuting Attorneys had released a blistering statement against Parson winnowing away Gardner’s power. publican prosecutors hold just as much political sway with voters as a representative, and the Missouri Association of Prosecuting Attorneys had released a blistering statement against winnowing away Gardner’s power. The association called the proposal “unprecedented” and a “miscarriage of justice.” So when it came time to decide on the proposal during last week’s special session, House leadership chose not to touch it, dooming it to failure as the session closed. Had it passed, it would have targeted only prosecutions in the city, leaving the powers of more than 100 prosecuting attorneys across the state intact. n

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t. Charles election workers are being instructed to “act surprised” when asked by voters why they are not wearing masks. The guidance, which was was contained in an email sent last week to the county’s election judges and supervisors, instructs workers to employ a policy of deception about their personal maskwearing habits until the voter leaves. Kurt Bahr, director of elections for St. Charles, confirmed the authenticity of the email, explaining that the guidance is intended to avoid confrontations between election workers and voters over the issue of masks. He conceded that the “verbiage there [in the email] was not the best.” According to the emailed guidance, judges and supervisors must keep a mask nearby, but they are not required to wear it. “When a voter says something to you about not wearing a face mask or not wearing it correctly,” the email advised, “please put it on properly.” The guidance then described actions an election worker may take to leave the voter with the impression that they are wearing a mask properly. (Wearing masks is a practice encouraged by the CDC and health experts to prevent the spread of COVID-19.) “You may act surprised that you don’t have a face mask on properly and then apologize as you put the mask on,” the email continued. “Wear your mask correctly until the voter leaves the polling place. Please do this every time a voter says something to you.” n

“Whose mask? Oh, my mask! I guess you’re right, I just plumb forgot it wasn’t on my face. I just can’t believe how many times it’s fallen off today!” | DOYLE MURPHY

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Voter Advocates Sue Ashcroft Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

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oting rights advocates have filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against issouri ecretar of tate a Ashcroft, hoping to make it easier to vote b mail in the upcoming election and ensure those votes are counted. he suit alleges that Ashcroft and election o ces across the state are violating voters’ rights b forcing them to take unnecessar steps and health risks to cast ballots during the O pandemic. he pandemic has uprooted our lives in wa s we never imagined and that includes the voting process, amala ogers, e ecutive director of the Organi ation for Black truggle, one of five organi ations bringing the suit, sa s in a news release. t appears that instead of tr ing to make this critical process safe and seamless, government o cials have added a la er of stress and vulnerabilit , especiall for African American communities. issouri allows people who fit within strictl limited criteria to vote absentee. n response to the pandemic, the state has e panded the criteria, allowing an one and older and those with certain medical conditions to vote absentee. he state has also created a new categor , mail in voting, that in theor would allow all issourians to vote remotel . However, the suit points out, the steps for mail in voting are different and much more of a burden than voting absentee. ail in voters have to re uest their ballot b mail, wait to receive that ballot, have it notari ed and then mail it back in time to arrive b ovember a uestionable proposition at a time when slowdowns at the . . ostal ervice could dela ballots, the plaintiffs argue. he process for voting absentee is easier. issourians can email or fa their re uests for an absentee ballot, and the or a close relative, such as a spouse or child can return their ballots in person if the prefer or worr about them arriving through the mail. he suit argues there is no reason to re uire e tra steps for

Jay Ashcroft. | OFFICIAL PORTRAIT mail in voters and doing so will onl limit the abilit of people to vote during the pandemic. hese voters must therefore choose between returning their ballot b mail and risking having their ballot re ected through no fault of their own, voting in person and risking e posure to the coronavirus, or not voting at all, the suit sa s. Along with the Organi ation for Black truggle, the groups suing Ashcroft include the t. ouis A. hilip andolph nstitute, reater ansas it A. hilip andolph nstitute, ational ouncil of ewish omen t. ouis ection and issouri aith oices. he ’re being represented b the American ivil iberties nion of issouri, mos, aw ers’ ommittee for ivil ights nder aw and the issouri oter rotection oalition. he suit asks a udge to give mail in voters the same options as absentee voters or to at least change the rules for receiving ballots through the mail so that the can be counted if the ’re mailed b election da , not ust received b election da .

St. Louis Rape Suspect Arrested in Dallas Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

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St. Louis man accused of a vicious rape in the county has been arrested in Dallas after a monthlong search, police say. Christopher Lamar Russell, 30, is facing multiple felonies, including firstdegree rape, burglary, sodomy, domestic assault and armed criminal action for what police say was an attack on his ex. The woman told investigators that Russell broke into her home last month, and

he suit also asks the court to take steps to keep the state from tossing out ballots for minor errors on the return envelopes. One possible problem, cited in the suit, is if voters forget to check a bo confirming the address listed on voter registries is the same as their mailing address. he state alread has that information on file, and voters will have alread confirmed it in re uesting the ballot, the plaintiffs note. lection o cials in some counties will contact voters about minor errors like that, but there is no statewide re uirement. hat means people could have their votes thrown out without even knowing or having an opportunit to correct technical problems. epublicans, starting with resident rump, have railed against mail in voting, claiming without evidence that it will lead to widespread fraud. rump has even recommended voters in orth arolina vote b mail and again in person to test the s stem. He followed up with a tweet, again suggesting mail in voters go to the polls. on’t let them illegall take our vote awa from ou, rump tweeted, even though there is no evidence that an one was tr ing to take awa their votes. he tweet was flagged b witter, and rump’s advice was widel critici ed b election o cials and states attorne s general, who point out it is illegal to vote twice. But the unsubstantiated idea of election fraud through mail in voting has been a talking point for epublicans one critics sa is an attempt to suppress voting and set the stage for claims that the election was rigged if the conservatives lose. Ashcroft has also advised against she woke at 4 a.m. to find him in her bedroom, armed with a gun. He forced her to cut her hair, pistol whipped her, strangled her and sexually assaulted her in multiple ways, according to court records. A warrant for Russell’s arrest was issued on August 19 in St. Louis County, but he remained a fugitive until his arrest Monday in Texas. Russell was arrested in 2017 on burglary and assault charges in a separate case in the city of St. Louis. At the time, police said he’d tried to get into an ex’s apartment and was turned away. He then began circling the block in his car, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported in 2017. Police responded, and he backed into a patrol car and then pointed a gun at officers, who shot him, authorities said. That case has been dragging on for the past three years, and Russell was

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“Voters must... choose between returning their ballot by mail and risking having their ballot rejected through no fault of their own, voting in person and risking exposure to the coronavirus, or not voting at all,” the suit says. mail in voting, sa ing in a radio interview, t’s ust not the most secure wa to hold an election. he organi ations suing Ashcroft worr that the push against mail in voting will further disenfranchise voters. n the midst of a global pandemic that has disproportionatel impacted Black and Hispanic individuals, issouri is constructing unnecessar barriers to the ballot that are forcing people to decide between their vote and their health, eith obinson, president of the A. hilip andolph nstitute’s t. ouis hapter, said in a news release. his violates the basic promise of a democrac . n

Christopher Russell faces multiple felonies. | COURTESY ST. LOUIS COUNTY POLICE free on bond as he awaited trial, court records show. n

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A talented crew of young artists transformed the South 40 Underpass on Washington University’s campus in little more than a week.

BIG ART ON CAMPUS

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Take a tour of art movements — and St. Louis icons — through a new mural project at Washington University BY SHARON COULTER

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hen Washington University selected art collector and artist De’Joneiro Jones to lead the painting of the South 40 Underpass on the Danforth Campus, he assembled a group of local talents. Under his supervision, the artists transformed the walkway while subtly educating passersby about elements of art and various art movements throughout history with their own version of a 2020-styled public art display. The work as a whole might be described as a step beyond abstract expressionism into historical artistic activism. Each of the works spanning the 22 massive panels — measuring six feet high by six and a half feet wide reflects the individual artists’ creative process,

design and personal style. What is astonishing is that the project in its entirety was completed and documented in just eight days. If you are familiar with the South 40 Underpass, a walkway that connects the main campus to the section where ou find the bulk of student housing, you will first recogni e some changes to the cube, sphere and pyramid grouping that sits at the north entrance of the underpass. he flowing paint of the sphere evokes images of the development from abstract expressionism to a style known as color field painting. (An example of this style is Morris Louis’ Beth Feh.) The painting of the sphere by local artist Brock Seals presents itself with a background of colorful, ribbon-like

veins of flowing paint untouched by brush or roller yet representing the melting of our planet, the burning of our forests, the rising of our seas and an urgent need to end global warming. The cube was painted by Jones to focus on the landmark Francis Olympic Stadium at Washington University with its historic reinforced concrete stands for the 1904 Summer Olympics and the medals won there. The gold and black pyramid was painted by Roland Burrow to remind us of “the golden calf and the powerful image of the pyramids.” Upon entering the underpass, there is a Chadwick Boseman panel painted by Seals on the west wall. It reminds the viewer, in Boseman’s words, “The Struggles

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PHOTOS BY NICHOLAS COULTER Along the Way Are Only Meant to Shape You for Your Purpose.” Boseman died August 28, 2020 at the age of 43. The internationally renowned actor played superhero Black Panther as well as historical figures such as hurgood Marshall, Jackie Robinson and James Brown. Boseman continued to work while undergoing four years of treatment for colon cancer. Seals’ choice of the Boseman quotation speaks not only to the student population but also to the community as a whole. The next series of panels was designed and painted by St. Louis artist Danny McGinnist Jr. The panels can be viewed as standalone panels or as a unit anchored by the portraits of George

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BIG ART

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Coleman Poage and John Robert ewis. oage was the first African American track and field athlete to win Ol mpic medals in on what is now the university’s rancis Ol mpic ield. ohn obert ewis was a civil rights leader and longtime member of the . . House of epresentatives. He helped organi e the arch on Washington and was a leader along with r. artin uther ing r. of the marches across the dmund ettus Bridge in elma, Alabama. Between these portraits of courage and power, c innist has painted images from his oots and etals eries that celebrate flowers with their rooted beginnings and emphasize their ability to grow strong and weather an storm, much like Black people “persevere through adversities to create our own legacies. he central panels have a feeling of movement as the pollen that c innist painted floats across the surface of the painting, in keeping with how the commitment of oage and the good trouble of ewis led to change in the nited tates. Action painting was popular during a period following orld ar when censorship of artists and the c arth era brought the need for abstraction to the foreground much like it is needed today. he ne t panel is b eals and includes a uotation b ames Baldwin ot ver thing hat s aced an Be hanged But othing an Be hanged ntil t s aced. As the people of the nited tates look to the issues of the present da , such as race relations, the killing of unarmed Black men b the police, immigration reform, the caging of children, the O pandemic, economic and food insecurit , and the opioid crisis, and as the attempt to find resolution and ustice, Baldwin’s words still ring true. he final panel on the west wall of the underpass is a serious artistic imitation of Henri atisse’s The Dance. his mural panel was painted b eals. The Dance II by atisse was a mural feet high and feet long that took two ears to complete. The Dance I b atisse is much smaller and was considered b atisse to be a sketch for the mural. It was painted in pastel shades. As in the large atisse mural, the dancers with hands oined are painted red. et in eals’ mural the “blood red is meant to symboli e the blood being shed b Black people according to the artist. he

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characteristic eals brush strokes appear throughout and provide movement in the artwork. t is a companion panel to the Baldwin panel. raversing the passagewa in its transformed state can be a powerful e perience. As atharine ei, director of the irst ear enter at ash , describes it, e live in a time right now when everything is hard, and feel like there is a change in the air, like a movement is happening. e have been in like an ivor tower for a while, but now think there is a connection between the movement and the people, and the painting ust reall struck me. ou feel something when ou walk through here. he emotion is so strong, and ’m drawn to all of it. think when ou walk through this space it gives ou an opportunit to think differentl than ou did before. On the east wall of the underpass are two panels b amon Addison. he first is representative of a Black female athlete reaching for the stars. t is intended to be simple in message and design according to the artist. Addison’s second panel is a collection of images that depict urban life in t. ouis and are reminiscent of the Ashcan chool. hat st le of art, from before orld ar , simpl showed the good parts of cit life and skipped the unpleasant nature of povert . he works of this movement were intended not as social commentary but aimed to show the positivit and vibe of an urban environment. Addison handled this b selecting prominent t. ouis African American leaders such as Homer . hillips and Annie alone to place in his panel. alone was the first Black female millionaire. he was a chemist, entrepreneur and philanthropist who used her wealth to promote the advancement of African Americans. he Annie alone hildren’s Home opened in and still addresses the needs of children and families at risk and in crisis in the t. ouis area today. Phillips was a lawyer and politician who secured a million loan to build a hospital for Blacks in segregated t. ouis. t was the first hospital with teaching capabilities for Blacks west of the ississippi iver. he hospital opened in and operated until even though hillips was murdered in , a case that remains unsolved. Also depicted in Addison’s artwork are tools and the stages of metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfl . Addison’s hope is that

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people will have a metamorphosis from violence through the use of the tools he includes, such as a book, a pencil, a mask for Oprotection and scissors. he emphasis is on mental awareness of how important the simple basics of life such as eating health , resting and love are to all humanity. ones himself displa s multiple works as part of the mural pro ect under his supervision. Besides the Ol mpic cube, there is a panel on the east side of the north entrance, while another of his panels is located on the east wall of the underpass. t is in this final panel that ones’ abstract freest le works combine with collage techni ue to create a message of social ustice, the need for informed public polic and the significance of the highs and lows e perienced in life. He describes

the mi ture of paints in his work as a cacophon of colors and the words in his painting as “waterfalls of ustice and humanit with the basic principles for how man treats his fellow man being unit , famil , faith and charit . ones uses the element of line to represent emotional movement from peace and tran uilit to anger and rage and a return to a new normalc through individual and societal change. n man wa s, abstract e pressionism has given voice to Black artists as a response to what has become s stemic racism in the nited tates. his includes the murders of alcolm , r. artin uther ing r. and so man murders of unarmed Black and brown men and women, including ra von artin, Breonna a lor, anuel llis, Atatiana Continued on pg 16


Top: Roland Burrow paints the pyramid. Bottom: Brock Seals’ Chadwick Boseman mural with a with a quote from the late Black Panther actor.

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This page, clockwise from top left: Katharine Pei of Washington University’s First Year Center; Roland Burrow’s in-progress and finished portraits of a child; Damon Addison’s portraits of Annie Malone and Homer G. Phillips. Opposite page, from top: Brock Seals’ flowing paint on the sphere and Danny McGinnist Jr.’s portrait of John Lewis.

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Jefferson, Charles Roundtree Jr., Philando Castile, Sandra Bland, Freddie Gray Jr., Tamir Rice and Michael Brown Jr. among others. Since the slaying of Brown, Jones, who was recommended to organize and implement this entire mural project by Wash U Vice Provost Adrienne Davis, has placed the memories of the slain in the heart and soul of his art with the intention of seeking justice for them and an end to the reasons underlying the violence. Burrow designed and created the panels of the mural located on the south part of the east wall of the underpass. This artwork depicts a unity of purpose between multiple races and beliefs with the American flag waving in the background. He begins the first

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panel with a meditating figure, half Black, half white, transcending race and freeing the mind to a metaphysical state of consciousness. In the next panel Burrow places emphasis on positivity with the portrait of a brown-skinned child reading from a book. The book has gold pages and a regal cover that suggests that the way to knowledge, wealth and power is through study and learning, science and fact. This recalls the idealized views of regionalists as opposed to social realist painters, and Burrow’s waving flag invokes Jasper Johns’ rigid Three Flags. Burrow’s art also reflects the style of a precisionist. From an early age Burrow spent time drawing, and his artwork reflects this training. Those who were fortunate enough to see the artist at work on the mural noted how detail oriented and carefully constructed Burrow’s work is. (More

on the art of Roland Burrow can be found at www.mccaughenandburr.com/artists/burrowroland/.) One final panel that deserves the utmost respect and gratitude of all those viewing this project is a portrait of Robert Lee Williams II by Seals. Williams was a professor emeritus of psychology and, more importantly to this project, the founder and first director of the African and Afro-American studies program at Wash U. To visit this display of public art, head to the South 40 Underpass located just south of the Francis Olympic Field on the Danforth Campus of Washington University. n Documentarian and photographer Nicholas Coulter has been documenting the project from day one through its completion. He will release a documentary film of the project in the near future.


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ALL TRACKS LEAD HERE CONTEMPORARY CUISINE CREATIVE COCKTAILS

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[SIDE DISH]

Two Is Better Than One John Matthews of Pappy’s Smokehouse is hopeful as he prepares to open second location Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

L

ike everyone in the restaurant business, Pappy’s Smokehouse (3106 Olive Street, 314535-4340) co-founder and owner John Matthews has been weathering the challenges brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic since March, wondering when things will get better and just hoping to survive. Finally, he reached the point where he knew he needed to take matters into his own hands. “I thought in March that by July 4th, things would get better, and in July, surely by August,” Matthews sa s. reali ed had to figure it out, that I’d rather control my own future and make decisions about how things are going to play out. I’d rather make up my own game than play by somebody else’s.” That instinct to take matters into his own hands was the catalyst for Matthews’ newest restaurant venture, the second location of Pappy’s in St. Charles. As he explains, the decision to open another Pappy’s in the midst of a pandemic was one he came to after realizing that there was a large customer base in St. Charles County, including many who would regularly travel into St. Louis to visit the Midtown smokehouse. With the help of two of his regular patrons who lived across the river, he scouted locations and settled on a spot right near Mid Rivers Mall, with plans to open sometime in October. For Matthews, opening a second Pappy’s has given him an opportunit to reflect on the past twelve years. Before opening the smokehouse with Mike Emerson and Skip Steele in 2008, Matthews worked in commercial printing

John Matthews keeps pushing forward even in the midst of the chaos of 2020. | COURTESY PAPPY’S SMOKEHOUSE and real estate. He got into barbecue as a hobby. Eventually, that hobby took him to the competition circuit, which led to a reckoning about the next step in his life. “I remember Mike [Emerson] and I were sitting in the Crestwood Rich & Charlie’s complaining about work,” Matthews recalls. “We just said to each other, ‘What about barbecue? I bet we can sell that.’ The next thing, Mike got in touch with Skip Steele, and we started putting it together. Who would’ve thought that we’d win Best New Restaurant that year, Best Barbecue in our second year, Best Service at a place where people are eating out of plastic containers I built in the parking lot?” Though Matthews is proud of the barbecue he and his team produce, he feels that the secret to

Pappy’s longevity is found in that commitment to service — something that might seem at odds with what you’d expect from a casual, counter-service smokehouse. “We took notes from Danny Meyer, who’s a St. Louis boy, and his philosophy of enlightened hospitality,” Matthews explains. “It comes down to that whenever somebody comes down to your restaurant, you engage them, have fun with them and make them feel welcome that they came. You want them to walk out saying, ‘I could’ve gone to a lot of places, but I’m glad I went here.’” Matthews plans on carrying that ethos forward to the forthcoming Pappy’s, but he’s also hopeful that a commitment to service will sustain his peers in the industry as they weather the COVID-19 storm.

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An industry veteran, Matthews is concerned for his colleagues in the business, especially those on the fine dining side of things. He’s also not shy about admitting the financial di culties that restaurants face as Paycheck Protection Program money dries up, feeling that restaurants are being left to fend for themselves in an impossibl di cult environment. Still, he hasn’t lost hope. “The problem now is that the PPP money has run out and you are treading water on your own,” Matthews says. “For the most part, restaurants are only at 30 to 50 percent of their usual volume, and it doesn’t help that nobody is working in the city and there are no Cardinals fans downtown. Everybody in hospitality is feeling

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JOHN MATTHEWS Continued from pg 21

everything we are, but I think that people who are super smart and work hard will do well. I’m hopeful for everyone. Hopefully, we can get to the sanity of it.” Matthews took a break from the smoker to share more of his thoughts on the current state of affairs in the hospitality industry, the important routine that keeps him sane and what gives him hope, even in such challenging times. What is one thing people don’t know about you that you wish they did? I rehabbed homes and did remodeling for years before taking barbecue to a commercial level at Pappy’s. I have some solid construction, plumbing and electrical experience and am a wizard on a tile saw. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? o be able to fl . Which ingredient is most representative of your personality? Garlic — good on almost everything that’s not a dessert. What is one thing you make sure you do every day to maintain a sense of normalcy? I get up and go to bed at relatively the same time. Maybe age has something to do with it, but it provides some structure for me. What have you been stress-eating/drinking lately? Ice cream. I just got turned on to a guy who makes his own gooey butter cake ice cream — AMAZING! You have to be quarantined with three people. Who would you pick? fianc e, Am we did great in March and April. My buddy Scott — been friends for almost 40 years. And my father. And while we’re at it, my golden retriever, and let’s do this at our farm in Osage County. What would be your last meal on earth? That’s a moving target. Right now, ’ll sa a pide or evapi from Balkan reat Bo . What do you think the biggest change to the hospitality industry will be once people are allowed to return to normal activity levels? think the fine dining scene will be the last to come back. Having a waiter, a sommelier and bus people will be reduced to one person for a while. What is one thing that gives you hope during this crisis? In my experience, I’ve realized that 95 percent of people are generally good people and that those calm, cool heads will prevail in the end. n

Za’atar hummus with spinach gremolata, fried feta cheese and a soft-boiled egg is one of the dishes at the upcoming Egg dinner pop-up. | MASON COOKSEY

[SHORT ORDERS]

Eggs Over Evening Egg Midtown offers sneak peak of new dinner service with popup event on September 24 Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

T

his past January, Lassaad Jeliti opened Egg Midtown (3100 Locust Street, 314-8990036), the second location of his popular daytime cafe, as a way to bring his signature orth African inflected breakfast and lunch fare to a wider audience. Now, he’s taking that expansion to a whole new level by adding dinner service to the Midtown restaurant — and as he prepares to launch the evening menu, he’s giving diners a sneak peak of what’s to come with a pop-up dinner on September 24. Jeliti has tapped Sharon Harter, the former pastr chef at the Bellwether, and Mason Cooksey, who most recently was pastry chef at Pastaria, to design the menu and execute the pop-up. According to Harter, the idea for dinner ser-

“I really think pop-ups, private dinners and those sorts of things are the new way of doing things. If you can hustle in all of this, you will be fine.” vice came to Jeliti when he was simply sitting down after work at Egg Midtown, marveling in the space’s beauty. “When he was done working at both Eggs for the day, he’d go to Midtown for some solace at night, have a drink and think about how beautiful it is in there,” Harter explains. “He decided that he’d love to open it up for dinner service.” Harter and eliti, both Bar talia alums, have known each other for many years and have developed a mutual respect for each other’s work. For that reason, Jeliti has given Harter and Cooksey complete creative control of the menu for Egg’s dinner ser-

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vice. hough he gave no specific parameters, the two chefs are using Egg’s eastern Mediterranean style as a jumping off point with dishes like Za’atar navy bean hummus with tomato garlic confit, spinach gremolata, fried feta and a soft-boiled egg, purple yam tarte tatin with black garlic, tahini and goat cheese and a short rib miso raviolo soup. As Harter explains, the purpose of the pop-up is to get feedback from guests about prospective menu items — something that will help to define the opening menu. “We wanted to try them out as a pop-up so people could taste them and give us feedback,” Harter says. “A lot of times, menus have to do with logistics and production that you don’t know how they will work until an actual service. This gives us a chance to see that before we open for dinner.” A limited number of tickets remain for the September 24 event. Right now, there are no other R&D pop-ups scheduled, but Harter believes that will change depending on the success of the upcoming one. “I really think pop-ups, private dinners and those sorts of things are the new way of doing things,” Harder says. “If you can hustle in all of this, ou will be fine. For more information and tickets to the September 24 popup, visit the Eventbrite at bit. ly/2RVfqHr. n

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MAKING GREAT SERVES

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tport PL A Z A d r iv e • sai n t lo u i s , m i s s o u ri • 31 4.5 4 8 . 2876 • W E S T P O R T S O C I A L - S T L . C O


CULTURE [TOO SOON]

R.I.P. DJ Solo Friends and family remember Wes Allmond, trailblazing pioneer of St. Louis hip-hop Written by

JOHN HARRINGTON

T

he St. Louis hip-hop scene lost a true-to-life legend this month. Since the early ’90s, Wes “DJ Solo” Allmond has been a pioneer, tastemaker, deal broker, promoter, booking agent, producer and DJ. But the best thing about Wes was he loved people and he loved music. He was always there for my band, Midwest Avengers, and supported us 110 percent when we crossed over into electronic music/raves. Though we worked for rival promotional companies, he always shared connections, because he said it was about St. Louis competing on the national level for shows and sponsorships. One of my best memories of him is from my apartment on Delmar in ’93. He showed up with the new Tribe Called Quest album, Midnight Marauders, on vinyl while we were coming up with a name for this graffiti jam we were putting on — now called Paint Louis. Years later we were organizing Paint Louis ’98 and Wes said, “I can get Fat Joe and Big Pun to come.” We said, “Yeah right.” But sure enough the day came, and there I was at Paint Louis, picking up trash, when I saw two big Latino dudes across the street spray-painting on private property. I ran over to stop them and to my amazement, it was Fat Joe and Big Pun. Wes came through again! I’m tempted to use this space to tell a bunch of stories about Wes — I have plenty — but I think it’s better for his friends and family to talk about him in remembrance. DJ Alejan, co-founder of Blu Concepts, says, “Wes began his involvement with KDHX as a DJ for Sylvester the Cat’s show called The Beat in the ’90s. By 1998, Wes was the utility man in the early days of The Science. He worked the soundboard at the radio station while Fly D-Ex and I hosted the show live from Blueberry Hill. Later, he co-led with Fly D-Ex, but his involvement was always behind the scenes, curating DJs to spin and coordinating artist appearances. He was the co-founder of Blu Concept Entertainment, a company that marketed and promoted national hiphop and R&B artists. The company was

TL.COM

Wes Allmond, known as DJ Solo, left a massive footprint on St. Louis’ scene. | VIA FACEBOOK bought by Ch’rewd Marketing in 2001. Wes took on the role of general manager and led all operations in St. Louis until 2011 when he founded his own firm, Promoworks. He was highly regarded by colleagues in the national music marketing and promotions business.” “You can take the hustler out of STL. But you can’t take STL out of the hustler.” Oshe Galyon, founder of Street Kingz Promotions and Marketing, says that was one of Wes’ favorite sayings. “And Wes meant it,” Galyon says. “I got a chance to get to know him, become brothers and work with him. Wes was one of the hardest workers I know. As the tour manager for Do or Die, he worked so hard that he came home with no voice and went into the hospital with walking pneumonia. He was still booking shows and hooking DJs up from his hospital bed. “Through Ch’rewd, we brought the Godfather of hip hop, DJ Kool Herc, DJ Premier, DJ Babu, Ali Shaheed Muhammad, Phife Dawg, Tha Alkaholiks, Dialated Peoples, Show Biz and AG, Slick Rick, Dougie Fresh, the Roots, Busta Rhymes and others,” he continues. “We took MC Eiht to the east side and brought a little-known R&B singer named John Legend to Blueberry Hill’s Duck Room two months before he won his first Grammy. We lost hella money on that show. Wes worked with international stars, but his focus was on the local scene. The most important thing was the legacy of DJs

“I believe he would want us to live every day to the fullest and not take a single moment for granted.” that came through The Science in the late ’90s to early 2000s. Wes didn’t just consider them DJs, he considered them family. Some of those DJs included Chilly C, A-Flex, Alejan, B-Money, Crucial, Agile-1, Anisto, Sinamin, Stan da Man, Needles, Fly D-Ex, K-Nine, Trog, Mike 2600, Trackstar, the Legendary Charlie Chan and more. His impact on the local underground hip-hop scene was immeasurable and will resonate for years to come.” DJ Trackstar, DJ for Run the Jewels, says, “Wes has been the biggest influence on my DJ career through the music he shared with me, either as a fan or as a promoter. One of the most exciting things I could do in the mid-2000s was make my regular pilgrimage to Ch’rewd and find out what free vinyl awaited me. He influenced how I approach the music

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business and life. I learned so much. I met and built with some of my most important partners to this day at Ch’rewd. He created a clubhouse atmosphere that made you want to hang out and soak up vibes and info. He taught us directly — and by setting an example — about working hard, treating people fairly, being on top of your business, providing opportunities to other people trying to come up in the scene, staying positive. His focus, generosity, thoughtfulness and love for the game live on through me and so many others in STL and beyond. His Google chat away message for years was ‘I’m almost the best.’ No Wes, you were the best.” Alex Pierson, a.k.a. DJ A-Flex and Wes’ best friend, says, “I was talking to Solo’s old roommate Jeremy Von Nida last night and something occurred to me: The reason we all knew each other was because of our mutual love of music. Most of us have been involved in the music industry for twenty-plus years. For everyone who is feeling lost, I believe he would want us to make music, or do what brought us together. Do it bigger and better than you’ve ever done it before. That project or goal that you’re waiting to start or finish, get after it. I imagine he’s up there keeping an eye on things, and if he sees everyone being creative, doing what they love, he’ll be smiling down on us. Solo had the ability to recognize potential in others. He saw it in me and I’d bet he saw it in you. He wanted to help you recognize and pursue your dream, and showed us that you can become successful being selfless and helping others. I believe he would want us to live every day to the fullest and not take a single moment for granted. I had the honor of calling him my best friend and brother, and I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it wasn’t for Wes.” Wes’ family sent the following words: “Wes met his anchor, partner, the very love of his life, Sarah (Poncez) Allmond, and they wed on June 1, 2012. A beautiful union was created and led to the births of their beloved daughters, Danielle Rebecca and Alexa Anne. Wes was preceded in death by his mother, Rebecca Corley. Proud to call him theirs, Wes is survived by an army of family and friends. This includes, but is not limited to, his father, Jimmy Allmond; in-laws Lynne and Bill Poncez; siblings-in-law Jevon (Tricia) Poncez and Juliet (Jason) Greene; nieces and nephews Griffin and Sidney Poncez, Vanessa and Charlie Greene. And of course, his brother and best friend, Alex Pierson. None will miss him more than Sarah, Danielle and Alexa.” A GoFundMe page has been established to help the family — you can donate to that at gofundme.com/f/the-allmond-family-support-fund. n

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Gonerfest 2020 is going virtual. | CHRIS SQUIRE AND ALLISON GREENE

Inside/Out In pandemic times, it’s challenging to find things to do that don’t put yourself or those around you in danger. And while we’re inclined to suggest that the safest event is no event, we also know that sounds a lot like abstinence-only sex-ed, and you guys are probably gonna fuck anyway. So consider these recommendations your condoms: not foolproof, but safer than other options. We only recommend events that take precautions, but ultimately you’re in charge of your own health, so proceed with care. We also list live-streamed events, which are the safest of all, though admittedly not the same. Live-streamed events are the masturbation of events in this way, because — you know what, we’re gonna go ahead and abandon this metaphor before we get in over our heads.

AIRPLANE! AT SKYVIEW DRIVE-IN 11 p.m. Thursday, September 24. Skyview Drive-In Movie Theater, 5700 North Belt West, Belleville, Illinois. $10. 618-233-4400. Skyview Drive-In Movie Theater in Belleville, Illinois, is one of the last of its kind. Some people might’ve thought it old-timey before, but now that this virus is trying to kill us all, the public is again open to the delights of watching a movie from the privacy of their own car. It’s the best of both worlds: You’ve left your house but you’re still not interacting with the filth public. his week will see a special late-night screening of the classic disaster film parody Airplane!, consistently (and deservedly) ranked by critics as one of the funniest movies of all time (and also credited as the launching pad through which the legendar eslie ielson first

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stepped into comedic roles). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry (from laughter), you’ll never use the word “surely” to preface a sentence ever again. We Have Clearance, Clarence: The scene at Skyview is a bit different than in years past, of course, with additional safety measures in place to slow the spread of COVID-19. They’ll be sanitizing the porta potties ever fifteen minutes, and while the concession stand will offer reduced items and will only be open on the patio, they’re also taking other helpful safety precautions like leaving a space between each car. In sum, it should be enough to help you avoid a trip to any big buildings with patients.

GONERFEST 8 p.m. Friday, September 25, through Sunday, September 27. Live-streamed event. $20 to $60. goner-records. com/pages/gonerfest-tickets Memphis garage-punk label Goner

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Airplane! is still funny and probably even better when viewed from your car. | POSTER ART

Records brings its yearly celebration of catchy hooks and wild debauchery into the digital world as Gonerfest 2020 goes virtual. As with all good things that have taken a hit this year, the culprit responsible for the suspension of in-person festivities is the COVID-19 pandemic, but just because the action will be streaming through your screen this time around doesn’t mean it won’t be a wild time. This year’s fest features more than twenty acts from around the world — one of the only consistent upsides to music festivals going virtual in 2020 is the borderless nature of the internet, which allows for artists from across the globe to inexpensively land on the same bill — including Quintron & Miss Pussycat, Mick Trouble, Cheater Slicks, Jack Oblivian & The Sheiks, Thigh Master, Bloodbags and many more. In addition, Gonerfest continues its practice of expanded multimedia programming with book panels, an art exhibit, cooking demonstrations and the premiere of two rock docs, This Film Should Not Exist and You Got To Move: The Sacred & The Secular In The Hill Country. Truly something for everybody! Screen Time: In keeping with the fast-and-loose nature of all things Goner, little in the way of a schedule has yet been released for the fest. All we can say for sure is the festivities kick off at 8 p.m. on Friday and last through the weekend. If you want more details than that, keep an eye on gonerrecords.com for updates.

MVSTERMIND 8 p.m. Friday, September 25. Old Rock House, 1200 South Seventh Street. $25 to $35. 314-588-0505. This week sees St. Louis jack-ofall-hip-hop-trades Mvstermind hitting the stage at Old Rock House as part of the venue’s ongoing socially distanced Listening Room series. Mvstermind, one of St. Louis’ hardest-working rappers, is currently on a promotional push for an ambitious trio of EPs to be released one by one over the coming months. Initially conceived as a 23-track full-length album titled BEGREATFOOL, the project will instead be broken up into three separate releases — BE, GREAT and FOOL, naturally with the first scheduled for release in October and the latter two dropping in December and early spring next year, respectively. Mvstermind has already released one song from BE, the spacey “Gems,” which he wrote and produced with longtime collaborator and fellow St. Louis artist Michael Franco. If that track is any indication of what’s to come, St. Louis hip-hop fans had better stand up and pay attention. That New Normal: As with all events in Old Rock House’s Listening Room series, this show will see the venue employing extra safety precautions due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Tables will be distanced, capacity is reduced to only 50 people, and masks will be required. For a full list of the safety measures in place, visit oldrockhouse.com/covid-19. n


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SAVAGE LOVE MISSED CONNECTIONS BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: Married guy here. I’m 33, the wife is 31. Our fifth anniversary is next month but we’ve been together for almost eight years. We’ve recently both come out to each other as bi. She tried to tell me a long time ago whereas I came to the realization only recently. We’re both interested in new sexual encounters and this weekend we met up with a male escort. It was my first sexual experience with a man and the first sexual encounter between my wife and another man in eight years ... and we found it lacking. It was too short, and too impersonal. Is this how it usually goes with escorts? Should we have been more upfront with our interests ahead of time? We don’t want to keep spending the money if we’re not getting the experience we want. We need to stay fairly discreet for most of these encounters due to our careers. Appreciate any input. Basking In Confusion Over Underwhelming, Pitifully Lackluster Experience P.S. A shoutout to my amazing wife for going from learning I’m bi to fucking another dude with me three months later! Some sex workers love their jobs, some don’t; some sex workers are good at their jobs, some aren’t. Sometimes a sex worker doesn’t click with a particular client for some ephemeral, hard to define reason; sometimes a client gives off a bad vibe — or a bad odor — and the sex worker bails or hurries things along not because they’re a shitty sex worker, BICOUPLE, but because their client is shitty or smells shitty. But here’s the thing, BICOUPLE: No sex worker can read minds. You tell me you’re wondering if you should’ve been “more upfront with [your] interests ahead of time.” If you left something important out when you made the booking, well, that could’ve been the problem. No sex worker likes having things sprung on them. A sex worker who doesn’t do kink is going to feel very uncomfortable if there’s a bunch of bondage

gear laid out when they arrive; even a sex worker who does kink is going to feel uncomfortable if kink wasn’t discussed in advance. Similarly, BICOUPLE, if you didn’t explain to your sex worker that there were two of you, your sex worker might’ve felt uncomfortable when they arrived. If you weren’t clear about your wants and your sex worker didn’t ask or you couldn’t articulate them after he asked, you put your sex worker in the position of having to guess. And your sex worker may have guessed wrong — some clients prefer sex that’s athletic, impersonal or aggressive. And if your sex worker had a bad experience with a husband who got upset when his wife seemed a little too into him, he may have erred on the side of maintaining some emotional distance even as you got physically close. If what you wanted — if what you were most interested in — was a more intimate and connected experience, then you weren’t just expecting sexual labor from the sex worker you hired, BICOUPLE, but his emotional labor too. While affection and intimacy can certainly be faked, we don’t typically expect a strong emotional connection when we’re hooking up with a stranger. Being sexually intimate can build that connection, BICOUPLE, but it can take time and a few meetings to get there. To avoid winding up in bed with another sex worker you don’t click with, I would advise you to take the time — and spend the money — to make a real connection. By which I mean: Go on a date. Find a sex worker you’re interested in and make a date — for dinner. Pay them for their time, pay for their meal, and if you click, BICOUPLE, if you feel like you could connect, book them for a sex date. Hey, Dan: Straight male here, divorced four years ago, just entering my fifties. I recently expanded my dating app parameters to see everyone in my area. I wanted to check out the competition and possibly give myself a little ego boost. I have a gay male friend who is in his forties. Mr. Forties has a boyfriend of two years who is in his twenties. They are great together — they vacation together, they quarantined together, Mr. Twenties and Mr. Forties worked on redecorating a

home together, etc. The problem is I spotted Mr. Forties on several dating apps. It would have been perfectly acceptable for him to say “none of your business” when I asked him why. Instead he told me they were old profiles, implying they pre-dated Mr. Twenties. He lists pets on his profiles that he adopted a few months ago. I have a sore spot about this behavior because my ex-wife started “auditioning” my replacement before we filed divorce papers. I really don’t like being lied to. What do I do? Confront Mr. Forties? Mind my own business and hope Mr. Forties doesn’t crush Mr. Twenties by cheating? Help! Fumbled Into Fraught Terrain Involving Expanded Search Maybe Mr. Forties and Mr. Twenties have an open relationship. Maybe they have a closed relationship but both regard flirting on dating apps as harmless. Maybe r. orties was charged with finding a very special guest star for a threesome. Or maybe Mr. Forties has profiles on dating apps for the exact same reason you expanded the parameters on our profiles, FIFTIES: for the ego boost. If it was any of the above — if there was an innocent explanation — why did Mr. Forties go with hose were old profiles, instead of “We sometimes have threesomes”? Well, in my experience, FIFTIES, some straight people have a hard time wrapping their heads around the kind of non-monogamy practiced by most gay male couples. Hell, some closed-minded gay people have a hard time with it. I can imagine a scenario where Mr. Forties was honest with people in the past and got a bad reaction and consequently no longer feels safe — much less obligated — to share the details of his sex life with straight or gay friends. So he gave you the answer a lot of straight people and some gay people prefer to hear when they ask pointed questions of partnered friends they assumed to be monogamous: “Of course I’m not sleeping around! Those were old profiles monogamous boyfriend would never want me to shove my monogamous dick down his throat while some other dude non-monogamously rearranges his guts! Heavens! We’re

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far too busy redecorating our lovely home to arrange threesomes! Which we’re totally not interested in having!” Look, FIFTIES, you put a question to Mr. Forties that he wasn’t obligated to answer at all, much less answer truthfully. So what do you do now? What you should’ve done when ou first stumbled over r. orties’ dating profiles You do nothing. You drop it. The issue you shouldn’t have brought up in the first place ou don’t bring it up again. Even if Mr. Forties is auditioning replacements for Mr. Twenties — even if he lied to ou for a selfish, self serving reason — it’s still none of your business. Hey, Dan: My boyfriend and I first heard the terms “sexual monogamy” and “social monogamy” on your podcast. They describe us: not sexually monogamous, but we present that way socially and most people in our lives assume we are. Including my mother. We’re both from very Republican families that struggled to accept us. My attitude is that if my brothers don’t have to tell our parents about their kinks, I don’t have to tell them about my threesomes. (Both of my older brothers have confided in me about their kinks, which I wish that hadn’t.) But it got back to me via my sister that my Trump-worshipping, Obama-despising mother only accepts me and my boyfriend because we are “good” gays. Good because we’re monogamous, like good straight people, and not promiscuous, like bad gay people. Now I feel like I should say something. But what? They Really Underestimate My Proclivities “Good people can be ‘promiscuous,’ Mom, and awful people can be monogamous. Take Donald Trump. That asshole has been married three times and cheated on every one of his wives. Barack Obama, whom you despise, has been married once and has never been caught cheating. Which means Obama either doesn’t cheat or, like everything else he’s ever done, from being someone’s husband to being our president, he’s better at it than Donald Trump.” mail@savagelove.net. @FakeDanSavage on Twitter www.savagelovecast.com

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