Riverfront Times, April 28, 2021 by Riverfront Times

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MARCH 6-12, 2019

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THE LEDE

“I’m just enjoying myself. I got divorced. Kids are finishing college finally now. I’m getting loose, so I need to relax a little bit. It’s tough at work and tough at home. House has to go for sale because I need to sell half of it and split it. You know how it goes. So it’s just a nice day to enjoy it on the hill. Enjoying today’s evening, and you just don’t even want to go home. ... Flying is kind of more like ‘falling with style,’ as Woody in Toy Story said.”

PHOTO BY THEO WELLING

GEORGE TRONICEK, PHOTOGRAPHED FLYING HIS MODEL AIRPLANE ON ART HILL IN FOREST PARK ON SATURDAY, APRIL 17 riverfronttimes.com

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A Celebrated Citizen

or those of us who spend an inordinate amount of time at courthouses, the quick, bright moments stand out. A glimpse of a wedding or overhearing someone’s last progress report of probation cuts through the gloom and banality. Unrivaled are the days when people, literally from across the globe, arrive dressed with all the style, but none of the arrogance of the top defense attorneys in the building and wave little American flags. Naturalization ceremonies have been more muted during the pandemic, but they’re still moments of wonder and light. RFT staff writer Danny Wicentowksi recently attended one for a Missouri woman who was once on the verge of being deported away from her husband and kids. She has an extraordinary story, and Danny tells it with care and compassion in this week’s feature. It’s not all a celebration, but it’s still a bit of good to cut through the gloom. —Doyle Murphy, editor in chief

TABLE OF CONTENTS Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Doyle Murphy

E D I T O R I A L Digital Editor Jaime Lees Interim Managing Editor Daniel Hill Staff Writer Danny Wicentowski Contributors Cheryl Baehr, Eric Berger, Jeannette Cooperman, Thomas Crone, Mike Fitzgerald, Andy Paulissen, Justin Poole, Theo Welling, Ymani Wince Columnists Thomas Chimchards, Ray Hartmann Editorial Interns Jack Killeen, Riley Mack A R T

& P R O D U C T I O N Art Director Evan Sult Production Manager Haimanti Germain M U L T I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Advertising Director Colin Bell Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel Multimedia Account Executive Chuck Healy, Jackie Mundy Digital Sales Manager Chad Beck Director of Public Relations Brittany Forrest

COVER Citizen Dow

C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

Komdown “Dow” Boyer was hours away from being deported from rural Missouri — until an unlikely coalition stepped in

N A T I O N A L A D V E R T I S I N G VMG Advertising 1-888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com

Cover photo by

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INSIDE The Lede Hartmann News The Big Mad Feature Cafe Short Orders Reeferfront Times Culture Savage Love 6

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HARTMANN Senator Bigot Josh Hawley’s anti-Asian racism is nothing new BY RAY HARTMANN

n Josh Hawley’s first campaign for public office, he provided the world with a glimpse of who he is. Hawley was facing off against state Senator Kurt Schaefer in the 2016 Republican primary for state attorney general. He would tragically win that contest and the general election that fall. And one of the nation’s creepiest political beasts was unleashed. In retrospect, Hawley’s first splashy political TV commercial in July of that year was an ominous glimpse at the black hole inside Hawley where normally resides a soul. With the assistance of the “Tea Party Patriots,” Hawley attacked Schaefer with an astonishingly xenophobic slander. The ad, titled “Stop Helping the Chinese Buy Our Farms,” depicts a moblike Chinese businessman in dark glasses — along with his naive attaché — speaking in Chinese. As he emerges from his limo onto a farm site, the English subtitles take over: Chinese villain: “Good to visit my farms again.” Naive Chinese aide: “I thought foreign ownership of Missouri farmland was illegal?” Villain: “It was until our lawyer Kurt Schaefer voted to change the law. Now we own thousands of acres in Missouri and can buy more.” Aide: “But isn’t Kurt Schaefer a state senator?” Villain (removing his shades and peering into the camera): “Yes. Yes, he is.” An announcer then urges the shocked viewers to tell Schaefer to tell the Chinese to stop buying Missouri farms. Lest you suppose Hawley insulted anyone’s intelligence, or offended anyone’s sense of decency, he did upset Schaefer by a rather decisive victory margin of just under 29 percentage points. Certainly to Hawley’s delight, the commercial provoked public outrage from the very sort of people

Hawley wanted to have outraged by him in a Republican primary. A coalition of Asian-American businesses and organizations rightfully expressed their anger: “The ad is clearly meant to elicit fear among Missouri voters and depicts Chinese and Asian Americans as ‘the enemy.’ The ad echoes the ‘Yellow Peril’ sentiment from darker times in our nation’s history which led to abhorrent legislation like the Chinese Exclusion Act and Japanese American internment camps.” That’s precisely what it was meant to do. And it did. Hawley’s spokesman at the time claimed he had nothing to do with the outside group’s ad, an excuse believed by no one. To be fair, Schaefer’s campaign took a cheap shot at Hawley trying to link him falsely with Muslim terrorism, but Schaefer’s in private law practice in central Missouri now. Hawley is a major insurrectionist, white-nationalist politician who, if successful, would pose an existential threat to American democracy going forward. Flash forward to the present, and Hawley just garnered another precious round of national indignation. The sound-bite junkie staked himself out as the “1” in a rare 94-to-1, bipartisan Senate vote for a bill that would make it easier for law enforcement to investigate hate crimes against Asian Americans. At a time when hatred is surging against the Asian American community here in St. Louis and throughout the nation, who would intentionally want to stand out against the slogan “Stop Asian Hate?” Only Josh Hawley, of course. But why? Simple: Hawley has wagered his political career on emerging as the Republicans’ most strident standard-bearer for a different sort of racial messaging, which goes something like this: “Stop Oppressing White People.” Hawley has emerged as a fullthrottle, Trump-worshipping white nationalist, pretty much without apology at this point. If his party is tethering its future to white grievance and victory in a culture war, Hawley has calculated that whoever is seen as the most fearless agitator and warrior

will wind up on top. Whether Hawley is a racist to the core or simply plays one on TV is a distinction without a difference. To understand this waste product of a broken political system, one must begin with an understanding that Hawley’s only authentic quality is phoniness. Most politicians lack candor at least some of the time. But Hawley is a living lie: the son of a banker masquerading as a farm boy. He capitalized on an exquisite education to hone the skill set of bilking low-information voters into believing he is their kindred spirit. Hawley is hardly unique in that regard. Think of Trump, to some extent, although he is more of a pure grifter than an academic fraud. Hawley more closely resembles the master of the craft, Ivy-League-educated, country-yarn-spinner John Kennedy, the disingenuous senator from Louisiana. What sets Hawley apart from the pack, however, is how lustfully he pursues his notoriety. The more Hawley can trigger outrage on the left, the more political capital he acquires on the right, especially a Trump base so fixated on white grievance. So when Vanity Fair last week proclaimed that “Josh Hawley Proudly Declares Himself ProHate Crimes,” it did not trouble this callous demagogue; it validated him among those for whom the magazine is inaccessible. Still, the urbane Hawley understands every word on both sides of the cultural divide. And if he gets the opportunity to amplify the purported Vanity Fair insult, he’ll gladly portray the role of victim. Thus it is that Hawley stunningly proclaimed at the Conservative Political Action Conference in late February that “we’re proud to be in a country that liberated slaves.” Before attaining that lofty place, of course, America by definition had been “a country that enslaved slaves.” But that hardly matters to Hawley. For his purposes, the more stupid the claim, the smarter, with respect to the race war. Hawley’s aim is to provoke incoming fire from the cultural elites. His formula is to pivot to the parlance of a Stanford/Yale graduate and fire back with lofty rhetoric that the base cannot comprehend. The latter point matters

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not: All the base voters want is someone fighting for them, and especially for their beleaguered whiteness. Having checked off that box, Hawley can employ his well-honed oratory skills to clarify that his concerns about protecting Asian Americans from hate are that it surely will end all free speech for all time to come. Even if that point somehow eluded 94 fellow senators, almost half of whom are Republican. Besides, Hawley would argue, his apparent hatred of Asians isn’t anti-Asian at all. It’s the new “proAmerica” nationalism, which only implicitly conveys that the phrase “Asian American” must be an oxymoron. For red-meat consumption, Hawley is anti-Asian. At his day job, Hawley is just drawing a line in the sand to China. That mission might be more believable were it not for Hawley’s stone-cold silence when Trump praised Chinese dictator Xi Jinping for naming himself president for life. When that happened March 4, 2018, Trump said he had “great respect” for Xi and added: “He’s now president for life. President for life. No, he’s great. And look, he was able to do that. I think it’s great. Maybe we’ll have to give that a shot some day.” Hawley said nothing. Just like he said nothing on the dozens of occasions — including the first two months of the pandemic — when Trump lavished praise of Xi. Or for the entire four years Trump didn’t lift a finger to help the people of Hong Kong, one of Hawley’s presumed pet causes. Whether Hawley is anti-Asian or pro-white-nationalism is, once again, one of those distinctions without a difference. The salient point is that Hawley continues to embrace — and attempt to build his future — by appealing to the worst instincts of the least noble citizens among us. Just like he has from the very start. n Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhar tmann1952@gmail.com or catch him on Donnybrook at 7 p.m. on Thursdays on the Nine Network and St. Louis In the Know with Ray Hartmann from 9 to 11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

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NEWS New Mayor Targets Workhouse’s Funding

Legislators Push for LGBTQ Protections Written by

TESSA WEINBERG, MISSOURI INDEPENDENT

Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

he stubbornly hard-to-kill Workhouse could finally be headed for the end. Mayor Tishaura Jones, on her first full day in office, proposed a new budget that would wipe out funding for the aging jail. “I am proud to begin the process of divesting our city from our expensive arrest and incarcerate model, and pledge to shift time, energy and money towards a public safety strategy focused on addressing the root causes of violent crime,” Jones said in a written statement. She cited many of the complaints that activists have lodged against the jail, officially named the Medium Security Institution, for years: inhumane conditions and “a toxic culture of abuse, retaliation and neglect among correctional staff.” In the past, Workhouse lowlights have included reports of guardsanctioned “gladiator” fights, waves of suicides and roasting summer heat that prompted former Mayor Lyda Krewson to install a temporary air-conditioning system. But while a succession of city officials have tried various reforms at the notorious jail, inmates and their advocates have long described it as an expensive, dehumanizing hell hole that is beyond saving. A previous bill passed by the Board of Aldermen last year was supposed to wind down operations at the jail by the end of 2020, but it has continued to linger. nder Jones’ proposal, operations would be consolidated at the newer downtown jail, the City Justice Center, and .8 million from the Workhouse’s budget would be redistributed to help balance the general fund and finance a slate of the mayor’s public safety priorities, such as funding for so-

Mayor Tishaura Jones (in red) and Rep. Cori Bush speak with detainees during a tour of the city’s two jails on Saturday. | PROVIDED BY THE CITY OF ST. LOUIS MAYOR’S OFFICE cial workers, mental health services and child care to help with inmates’ re-entry after they’re released. The plan would eliminate 90 vacant positions and set aside 1.4 million to house inmates at other facilities if the city exceeds the City Justice Center’s capacity. The City Justice Center has its own problems. Inmates have staged a series of revolts in the downtown jail, twice taking over multiple units, smashing windows to the outside world and shouting out complaints about conditions and long-delayed court appearances. Average stays for people incarcerated in city jails are nearly a year as they await resolution in their cases. The majority of detainees have not been convicted. Jones and .S. Rep. Cori Bush toured both city jails on Saturday. After seeing the facilities and speaking with inmates, Jones described the conditions as “abhorrent.”

After the tour, she said she was more committed than ever to closing the Workhouse and improving the City Justice Center. “At minimum, we owe our detainees clean and humane conditions while in our custody,” Jones said in a tweet. “We owe them fair and speedy trials as guaranteed by the Constitution. We owe them dignity.” The city had begun emptying out the Workhouse during the pandemic, and the number of people locked up in city jails dropped in 2020 as advocates, public defenders and prosecutors worked to free people as a way to prevent COVID-19 spread. But after the recent uprisings, jail officials said they moved detainees from CJC to the Workhouse while badly damaged units are being repaired. There were about 900 people incarcerated in city jails, including about 200 in the Workhouse this week. n

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ith progress stalled and the legislative session nearly over, a bipartisan group of lawmakers hoping to outlaw discrimination against LGBTQ Missourians have begun using an array of tactics to bypass the gridlock. On April 19, a bill adding sexual orientation and gender identity to Missouri’s Human Rights Act was pulled from a committee where it had sat without a hearing and placed on the House debate calendar using a procedural move that hasn’t been utilized in more than a decade. Two state senators — Democrats Greg Razer of Kansas City and Doug Beck of St. Louis — made separate attempts this week to attach more narrow discrimination protections to other bills moving through the process. And Rep. Wes Rogers, D-Kansas City, made a similar move in the House General Laws Committee. Facing a tight deadline with less than a month left in the session, lawmakers in support of the legislation, often referred to as the Missouri Nondiscrimination Act, or MONA, say it’s time for its passage after 23 years of trying. Under Missouri law, a person can still be fired, denied housing or kicked out of a restaurant for being gay or transgender — or simply being perceived as gay or transgender. “The normal process doesn’t work for me and this bill,” Razer said on the Senate floor last week. “And so I have to find places that I can try to get it on.” But the persistent moves to try and seize on any viable path forward have eroded some lawmakers’ trust. “Last night, as far as I’m concerned, MONA was offered to kill my bill,” said Sen. Bob Onder, R-Lake St. Louis, whose bill was tabled on April 19 after an amendment was offered to include a version of MONA. “I don’t want to impugn any senators’ motives, but I think when things go fast and if things sneak through this body quickly without senators having an opportunity to know what’s in a bill and to be heard on that subject and have the opportunity to offer amendments, there is going to be a serious problem these last four weeks of session — serious,” Continued on pg 10

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Democratic legislators face an uphill battle to protect LGBTQ rights. | THEO WELLING

LGBTQ PROTECTIONS Continued from pg 9

Onder later added. The moves to get MONA to a vote are reminiscent of lawmakers’ attempts in 2018, when they resorted to tapping colleagues who didn’t serve on a committee to help pass the bill out of a House committee for the first time ever. ‘It’s fair game’ House Bill 275, sponsored by Rep. Tom Hannegan, R-St. Charles, was referred to the House Children and Families Committee on March 10, where it has sat for six weeks without a hearing. Under a section of the Missouri Constitution that is further codified in House rules, a bill can skip the step of going through the committee process if at least a third of lawmakers sign and submit a petition to the Chief Clerk ten days after it has been referred to committee. From there, the bill shall be placed on the House’s debate calendar — essentially circumventing the committee process. That move was used last week, with the minimum 55 lawmakers needed signing on to a petition — 46 Democrats and nine Republicans. In addition to Hannegan, the other Republican lawmakers that signed on were Reps. Mike Stephens, Andrew McDaniel, Shane Roden, Shamed Dogan, Bill Falkner, Adam Schwadron, Chris Sander and Phil Christofanelli. Hannegan said he had expressed his desire for a hearing to Rep. Mary Elizabeth Coleman, an Arnold Republican and chair of the House Children and Families Committee. Asked about where MONA stands, Coleman said last week she didn’t have anything to add. While the bill has bipartisan support, it remains to be seen if it’s enough. In the remaining three weeks, the bill would still need to be taken up by House Majority Floor Leader Dean Plocher, R-St. Louis, and garner the minimum 82 votes to pass out of the House. It would then head to the Senate, where its passage as an amendment has already faced hurdles. Hannegan, one of only six openly LG-

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BTQ members in the Missouri legislature, said this won’t be his last effort to get a vote on MONA this year. “There are quite a few options. This was just one that was available that I took advantage of to try to get it to move a little bit quicker. Obviously, as an LGBT member myself, I mean, it’s just a personal thing,” Hannegan said, later adding: “If it’s fair, and it’s authorized, and it’s legal, and it’s a rule that everybody can use, then I think it’s fair game.” The last time a bill was pulled from a House committee under the method was in 2010, when it was used to advance bills on ethics reform and payday loan reform, said Marc Powers, the chief of staff for House Minority Leader Crystal Quade and a former statehouse reporter. Meanwhile, familiar concerns resurfaced in opposition to amendments offered by both Rogers and Razer, with lawmakers arguing it could lead to an increase in frivolous lawsuits. Rep. Adam Schnelting, R-St. Charles, said he wasn’t in support of discrimination, but felt it was something lawmakers had to “proceed very carefully on.” Schnelting said it could be used by employees who decide they’re “going to change and identify as something else” to retaliate against employers and worried it could be “opening a pandora’s box” for lawsuits. Shira Berkowitz, the communications director for PROMO, a statewide organization that advocates for LGBTQ equality in Missouri, said such lawsuits aren’t an issue currently. Berkowitz pointed to the cases that have made it to the Missouri Supreme Court as evidence that “Supreme Court justices in Missouri, already feel that discrimination cases against sexual orientation and gender identity are wrong.” In 2019, the Missouri Supreme Court ruled that discrimination against people who don’t conform to stereotypical gender norms is a form of sex discrimination. Meanwhile, as lawmakers push for debate on MONA, the Missouri House adopted an amendment last week that would bar transgender students from participating on the sports teams that match their gender identity. The underlying bill was tabled before it could be granted initial approval. n

THE BIG MAD Half Cocked Anti-vaxxers, mystery meat and a McCloskey guns for a Senate seat Compiled by

DANIEL HILL

elcome back to the Big Mad, RFT’s weekly roundup of righteous rage! Because we know your time is short and your anger is hot: ANTI-VAX PROPAGANDA MOVES OFFLINE: As if it wasn’t already hard enough to keep dangerous online anti-vaccine propaganda away from the more, er, let’s say “influenceable” people in our society, now some asshole is leaving it on our porches, too. As reported by KMOV, some folks living near Grand Center recently had a bag of (figurative) bullshit — or, as a recipient termed it, “Just a disappointing bag of conspiracy theories and misleading information, fearmongering to pass out to a bunch of people” — left at their front door. Within a brown paper bag was a small package that included anti-vaccine propaganda, a DVD titled Vaccine Nation: Hidden Truth and, oddly, a guide to going vegan. It’s bad enough that we have to hear misinformed preaching from every moron online, but now we can’t even open our front doors without someone forcing stupid pseudoscience views on us. It’s unfair to vegans, too, who will get a bad reputation just because some tinfoil-hat crackpot sees danger everywhere and can’t keep it between themselves and their mental health provider. Get off my lawn. GUNNING FOR A SEAT: Mark McCloskey, having seen the abysmal state of modern American conservatism and national Republican politics up close at the hellscape that was last year’s Republican National Convention, has evidently decided that he’s got just the self-obsessed pathology it takes to throw his AR-15 into the ring. As reported by Politico, McCloskey is eyeballing the Senate seat that will be open when Sen. Roy Blunt retires in 2022, and though he has no particular timeline for making a decision about running, he says, “I can confirm that it’s a consideration, yes.” This, naturally, sets us up for the wildest, most gun-filled campaign season imaginable, as McCloskey and disgraced ex-governor Eric Greitens compete in a campaign-spot arms race to see who can blast their way into Missouri voters’ hearts (all while Attorney General Eric Schmitt, who is also running, attempts to serve Xi

Jinping with a restraining order on behalf of Missouri, probably). It’s gonna be stupid, it’s gonna be exhausting, and when the gunsmoke clears, sane Missourians are going to wonder just how the fuck Roy Blunt of all people suddenly looks like the adult in the room. UNLOCKING THE TRUTH: Well, well, well. It turns out St. Louis’ jails might be terrible after all. For years, city officials peddled the idea that the Workhouse was no longer a hellhole and the City Justice Center was an expertly run facility. All those detainees literally screaming out of the windows for relief? Attention-seekers who didn’t like being locked up. But on Saturday, Mayor Tishaura Jones, Congresswoman Cori Bush and a cadre of officials and activists toured the jails. The reviews are in. “Abhorrent would be an understatement,” says Jones. “Absolutely disgusting,” says Bush. They inspected cells and spoke with detainees, some of whom were maced during uprisings early this year and were still in the same clothes. Detainees described being served meat they couldn’t identify and waiting a year on average for their cases to wrap up. The complaints have been consistent for years, and indignant denials from city officials have gone on for just as long. Someone was lying, but it’s not the ones eating mystery meat tonight. HEART OF THE MATTER: In March, a Missouri dad appealed to the humanity of state representatives pushing anti-trans legislation. Brandon Boulware testified about the years he spent forcing his trans daughter to act like a boy. “My child was miserable,” Boulware said. “I cannot overstate that. She was absolutely miserable ... I can honestly say this — I had a child who did not smile.” If you’re a human being who feels anything for little human beings, you might have felt something listening to Boulware. But trans kids have become red meat for Republicans scrambling to scare-anger their base into loyalty. They rehearsed their attack with bathroom bills and now hope to ban kids from playing sports. And while they create make-believe nightmares of ruined athletics, they ignore the documented crisis of suicide hittig kids they ostracize for political theater. Unsurprisingly, they ignored Boulware’s testimony about the improvement in his daughter’s life when he finally accepted her. “As a parent, the one thing we cannot do, the one thing, is silence our child’s spirit.” Last week, a majority of House Republicans voted for the kind of anti-trans legislation Boulware spoke against. It turns out, appealing for the preservation of spirit has little effect on people who’ve sold their souls. n

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Citizen Dow Komdown “Dow” Boyer was hours away from being deported from rural Missouri — until an unlikely coalition stepped in

BY DANNY WICENTOWSKI

INSIDE A SUNLIT CONFERENCE ROOM high within

St. Louis’ federal courthouse, Komdown “Dow” Boyer channels her nervousness into her hands, lacing her fingers in her lap. Around the room, arranged like students before a test, are fifteen soon-to-be citizens. They have each waited months for this moment, passing interviews, citizenship tests and background checks. Today, they are here to take their final steps to naturalization. Dow is here to take back her life.

As they wait for the ceremony to begin, some candidates play absentmindedly with the small American ags they were given at the door, others glance through a printout of the Oath of Allegiance, scanning its formal herebys and heretofores, its vow to defend to the Constitution, its renunciation of “any foreign prince or potentate.” Dow has never known a prince, but she knows what it’s like to be foreign. As a child in 1977, she said goodbye to her grandfather in Thailand to move to California with her recently married mother and her U.S. airman stepfather. From her birth country, Dow took with her memories of her grandfather but little else. She grew up believing she was American. A black-robed federal judge enters the room. Dow thinks of her last experience with a judge, in 2013, which nearly led to her deportation and separation from her family. For a moment, she can’t help but worry that something could still go wrong. But this time, the judge is here

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to make things right. The ceremony begins with the judge’s introduction: “Welcome to our candidates for citizenship, family, friends and invited guests. This is a very exciting day.” The remarks betray, perhaps, a lack of recent updating: Normally, there would be pomp to accompany the patriotic ceremony; instead, the ongoing circumstance of pandemic has shrunk the warm celebration into a bare-bones, 20-minute sprint. There are no family, friends or invited guests, no vocalists belting “America the Beautiful” or speeches delivered by the new citizens themselves. The closest thing Dow has to guests are the three people — her husband, her attorney and a reporter — waiting to greet her on the courthouse steps. Each played a role in the drama that overtook Dow’s life more than seven years ago, when an arrest and theft charges brought her to the brink of deportation, launched her into the national news and culminated in an eleventh-hour legal inter-

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vention at the moment when all seemed lost. Dow survived and, with help, rebuilt her American life. But until this moment, in this room in a federal courthouse, she could never be sure that it was truly, finally, over. At the podium, the judge finishes her introductions. The candidates stand and recite the Oath, and, one by one, they are called forward to receive their certificate of citizenship. Dow listens for her name.

ow was nine years old when she arrived in America, landing first in military bases in Hawaii before settling for a time in California, where she experienced “my American moment of food.” “It was Church’s fried chicken,” she says. “Oh my God, I loved it.” Dow has had many American moments, not all of them good. In a wide-ranging interview — the first she’s given since the drama of her near-deportation in 2014 — she retold the story of her journey to the U.S., starting with a painful separation from her grandfather in Thailand, a devout Buddhist who raised her after her mother married a U.S. airman stationed in the Philippines. “It was poverty,” Dow recalls of her early life in a village. “We lived with our cousins in the jungle, with no electricity. My mom couldn’t raise me by herself because my fa-

ther passed away, so she went off to the city to get a job. My grandpa was the one that raised me.” One day, Dow recalls, her mother returned to the village on a motorcycle — and informed the little girl that she was coming with her and her new husband. “I didn’t want to leave,” she says. “I wanted my grandpa to come with me, but he told my mom to take me, and that this is where my life would begin with her.” In California, Dow says it took several years to acclimate to English and the social challenges of school. The transition was difficult at home, too. She had an entirely new family, including new siblings. “I was a year behind everybody in school, and it was really hard for me because of not understanding, you know, that I was a foreigner in the U.S.,” she says. Her family would eventually settle in Virginia, and there Dow would later marry her first husband, another military man, and move with him to his hometown of Bonne Terre, Missouri, with their two sons. After a divorce, Dow started working at the Cicis pizza buffet in Farmington, and it was at her new job in 2002 that she caught the eye of Justin Boyer. “One thing that stood out was that she was always happy,” Justin says now. “No matter what, she always had a smile on her face.” Continued on pg 14

Dow takes the Oath of Allegiance, finally obtaining American citizenship. “It felt like someone giving me a second chance,” she says. “Like my rebirth.” | DANNY WICENTOWSKI

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“My kids and husband had to go through that. It wasn’t fair to them because of what I did.” But her guilty plea wasn’t the end of the story — it had set her deportation in motion.

CITIZEN DOW

Continued from pg 12

Dow worked her way up to manager at Cicis, while Justin took a job at an auto mechanic’s shop a couple blocks away in Farmington. The small family grew to include a daughter — but in September 2010, Justin would nearly lose his leg when a truck he was working beneath slipped from a lift and crushed his lower body under thousands of pounds of metal. Justin was transported to St. Louis via helicopter, and there he was put in a medical coma as doctors worked to save his limbs, at one point, he says, slicing open his calve “like a hotdog in a microwave” to relieve the pressure. Multiple surgeries later, Justin was allowed to return home to begin his long recovery. “When I come out of the coma,” he recalls, “they came in my room and asked me, ‘How is all this going to be paid for?’” In Justin and Dow’s telling, the answer destroyed their finances. The family moved from a fivebedroom house into a trailer. Justin says his employer effectively abandoned him, denying workman’s compensation claims and even transferring the business and assets to relatives to avoid legal responsibility. Even with Justin’s insurance, the surgeries and ongoing care meant the family now owed nearly $100,000 in medical bills. Justin was in no condition to work and wouldn’t be for nearly a decade. Overnight, Dow became the sole provider for a disabled husband, two teen boys and a toddler. Her paychecks grew lighter as garnishments for the medical bills took effect. It took a lawyer and two years for Justin to start receiving disability payments. By then, Justin was just starting to walk again. On a day in January 2012, Dow came home from work utterly distraught. Justin was still in recovery, and he had watched as his wife had taken the helm of the family’s finances and his medical care. She worked long shifts. When his wheelchair wouldn’t fit in their trailer’s tiny bathroom, she bought a kiddie pool so she could hand wash his limbs. Her resourcefulness held the family together. But Justin could see something was terribly wrong. “Out of all the years we were together, I’d never seen her cry other than two times, when we had two miscarriages,” Justin recalls.

RIVERFRONT TIMES

O Dow’s husband, Justin Boyer, waits at the bottom of the courthouse steps in St. Louis. “We’re at the future we could never plan ahead for,” he says. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI “She didn’t show her emotions to people.” That day, though, Dow had come home in tears.

ow’s move to America had given her a new life, a new language and new family — but the formative lessons she learned about America, and her legal status in it, were filtered through her stepfather, who she describes as an emotional abuser who “would treat me and my mom like we were his slaves.” “Needless to say,” she adds, “he would always tell me, ‘You’re a citizen, you’re a citizen, you’ve been living here your whole life.’” Although her stepfather’s treatment motivated her to begin supporting herself at sixteen, it was his failure to tell her the truth about her citizenship status that would later threaten to destroy her life. In reality, she was living a delayed catastrophe that needed just one mistake, one opening, to drag her away from what she thought was her home. With Justin’s injury, that catastrophe arrived. “I’ve never asked for help, I’ve always been independent, and I didn’t want to let Justin know about the garnishments taken out for the hospital bills,” Dow admits. “I was working so much, and I’m not proud of what I did by any means.” On that day in January 2012, a tearful Dow confessed to her husband that she had taken the family’s financial problems into her own hands — and at some point, she had crossed a line. Over years,

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she had been skimming money from the Cicis vending machines and deposits to keep their family a oat. And her secret had been revealed. That day, she said, Cicis managers were called into a meeting to learn that the owners had discovered evidence of missing money. Dow returned home to Justin in a panic. “We sat down and talked,” Justin recalls. “We decided she just needed to go to work and tell them.” That’s what they did. On January 13, 2012, Dow confessed the thefts to the Farmington police. She was booked, photographed and released. Two weeks later, her mugshot was published by the local Park Hills newspaper, the Daily Journal, which cited the department’s probable cause documents and the fact that Dow had worked as a manager at Cicis for years. Dow was charged with a class B felony, a crime which at the time carried a maximum prison sentence of fifteen years in prison. But she was a mother of three and had no criminal record, and so about a year later, in December 2013, she pleaded guilty and was sentenced to probation. She was ordered to repay the owners of Cicis restitution of about $50,000. “We thought it was over,” Justin says. Dow thought so too. She found a new job as a line manager in a produce warehouse, and the family tried to move on from the shame as the news coverage of her arrest spread across the closeknit community. “I took responsibility for it, but my heart hurts,” she says.

n March 13, 2014, Justin dropped Dow off at the local probation office. It was her third visit since her guilty plea, a part of the routine required by her probation. Dow remembers being told that she was to meet a new parole officer who would be handling her case. “We were just sitting down and talking,” she recalls of the meeting that day in the parole office, “and all of a sudden there were two officers behind me. One of them asked me my name, and I said, ‘Who are you?’ Of course, he says he’s with ICE, and I started crying.” Dow was told she was being deported, and moments later she was handcuffed and led out back to a waiting car. She begged them to let her say goodbye to her husband, who was waiting in the parking lot on the other side of the probation office. Instead, Justin says that two agents approached his car, “guns out and saying they got my wife and wanted her IDs and stuff.” Justin was stunned. “I said, ‘What do you mean you got my wife?’” The agents identified themselves as members of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. As they took Dow’s materials, Justin remembers one of the agents remarking, “Her mom is not a citizen neither, she’s just never been in trouble.” Justin left the parole office alone, his head spinning. Like Dow, he’d taken her citizenship for granted — and so what he’d just experienced made no sense. Dow had lived under her stepfather’s last name, had a social security number, paid taxes and hadn’t traveled out of the country for more than 30 years. She and Justin had a young daughter together. Her eldest son from her previous marriage was in the military, and a second was in the process of enlisting. Justin was still recovering from the mechanic’s shop accident. He relied on Dow for support as his body healed, and now he was returning to the family’s trailer, a little girl waiting for him inside, and he was alone. “At the time my daughter was four, and we had sheltered her from this, we didn’t want her to have to deal with adult situations,” he says now. “I had been telling her that I had to take mama

and his family for what came next. Every Sunday, he visited her in a county jail two hours away from their home. He started bringing his daughter, still young enough not to fully grasp the situation at first. Every visit, Justin wondered if it would be their last moments together for a long time. Two months passed, and on May 6, 2014, a federal immigration judge ordered Dow’s deportation.

F Days after an immigration judge ordered Dow’s deportation in 2014, Justin Boyer comforts the couple’s young daughter outside a Troy, Missouri jail. | RENEE BRONAUGH/PARK HILLS DAILY JOURNAL to the doctor or something, but then I come home without mama, and I had to figure out ” Justin’s voice cracks. “ what to tell her, that mama might never come home again.”

s Justin and Dow came to learn, her guilty plea to the theft charge had alerted immigration authorities — and triggered the visit from the ICE agents. Although her stepfather had brought her to the U.S. as a “lawful permanent resident,” complete with green card and social security number, it appeared that he never formally adopted her (or, at least, there is no documented proof to show that he did). Meanwhile, Dow’s mother was in the same situation as she hadn’t applied for citizenship after arriving in the states. Until her conviction in 2013, Dow says, she had no idea she wasn’t a full citizen — and even though her attorney tried to inform her about her citizenship status before her guilty plea, she says she “didn’t understand” that taking the plea would be grounds for automatic deportation. Dow’s immigration status may have been exposed in a drastic situation, but her position isn’t unique. Jim Hacking, a St. Louis immigration lawyer who was not involved in Dow’s case, notes that decades of U.S. military presence in southeast Asia made service members marrying locals and re-

“It was so bad that day,” Justin says. “When we were leaving the jail, my daughter asked, ‘Why can’t mama leave with us?’” turning home with stepchildren commonplace. Generally, he says, “you’ve got a GI that falls in love with mom, brings her and kid back, but they never do the formal adoption to make her a true stepchild so as to receive U.S. citizenships.” It’s not clear what Dow should, or could have, done — she’d trusted the man who had brought her to America, and having never applied for a passport or attempted international travel, she had never confronted evidence of anything else. “It’s not uncommon for parents not to do everything that they’re supposed to do,” Hacking says. “In the old days, things were really fast and loose when it came to adoption, but citizenship and documentation have to happen in order to perfect someone’s legal status.” Hacking says he deals with a similar case every few months. Dow’s parents would be far from the first to believe that being officially recognized as U.S residents

made their foreign-born daughter a citizen, too. Whether that conclusion was sparked by ignorance, bad advice or negligence, the result was the same for Dow. Hacking says he struggles with “how mad to be” at parents in these situations, but he notes that the discovery of an adult’s lack of citizenship is often tied to childhood events that were out of their control, like parental deaths, decades-old adoptions and various family separations. “To me, there has to be some responsibility, because they’re your kid,” Hacking says. “They should know they’re not a citizen, because it means they’re deportable.” It was Dow’s criminal defense attorney who discovered her true citizenship status and disclosed it to the court during her 2013 guilty plea. Whether Dow truly understood what that meant — and the deportation consequences — would become a key issue in a legal battle to come. But in the spring of 2014, with Dow in jail, Justin was left to gather himself

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or Justin and his family, the deportation order forced a reckoning. They created a Facebook page, “FREE DOW BOYER” — and although Justin had never felt comfortable with the exposure of social media, he started posting updates and information about his wife’s case. He was way out of his comfort zone — and, looking back on it now, he admits to having doubts about whether a rural and overwhelmingly white part of Missouri would recognize the injustice, or cheer it on. Would they see Dow as he saw her, or just some kind of stereotype? “To put it quite bluntly,” he says, “we live down here in a racist country. We did not know how it would go; we didn’t know if people would care, or if they would help. We never thought it would come out the way it did.” The Facebook page began growing, but the burgeoning movement was already more than virtual. Cicis owner Debbie Peterson — the very same employer from whom Dow had stolen thousands, and whose police report indirectly sparked the process that ended with the visit from ICE agents — had been horrified to learn of the pending deportation. (While the RFT was not able to interview Peterson directly for this story, Justin and others credit her for key actions “behind the scenes” in efforts to keep Dow in Missouri.) Around the same time, a news tip landed on the desk of Park Hills Daily Journal rookie reporter Renee Bronaugh. It led to an interview she would never forget. “He was probably the most devastated-looking man that I had ever seen,” she says, recalling the first time she met Justin. “He was hugging a portrait of her to his chest, and he told me the whole story of what had happened. He was at a complete loss. He didn’t know how he was going to raise his daughter without her, or even just make it through everyday life because they had such a bond together and worked as a team.”

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Bronaugh took the story, but no one knew how much time Dow had left; all they knew was the immigration authorities were preparing travel documents for the return trip to Thailand, leaving the mother of three to languish in a holding facility where she could do little more than visit the commissary and wait for calls from Justin. Three days after the judge’s deportation order, Bronaugh pulled into the parking lot of the Lincoln County jail. She had already interviewed Dow over a collect call, but this time she was working at a distance and equipped with a camera. Inside a visiting room, Justin, Dow’s two sons and the couple’s now-five-year-old daughter were gathered for what they worried was the last time. Justin had alerted Bronaugh about the visit, and so, that Saturday, the reporter had made the two-hour journey to the jail. It was May 9, 2014. Mother’s Day. Bronaugh would spend most of it behind the wheel of her van, sitting in the jail parking lot with an eye on the facility entrance and her camera at the ready. “As a mother myself, I could understand what she was going through, the not knowing — the fact that she was scared for her young daughter,” Bronaugh says. “I probably waited there for three or four hours.” When Justin and the family emerged from the jail, Bronaugh quietly slipped out of her van and focused her camera on the scene that unfolded: There was Dow’s oldest son lifting a sobbing girl to her father, a just-taken jail portrait of the family clasped in her small hand. There was Justin, his face ashen, sitting on a curb with his daughter in his lap and her head cradled to his shoulder, both in tears. “I had told Justin that I’ll be there, but that he wouldn’t see me,” Bronaugh recalls. “I captured those photos from between vehicles; I didn’t want to interrupt in any way.” Less than a week later, the photo of the family’s tearful Mother’s Day jail visit ran with Bronough’s May 1 story, under the headline, “One woman’s mistake; lives torn apart.” It was the first report detailing the twisting events in which “a productive member of society” with two children in the military and a young daughter could still be swept

RIVERFRONT TIMES

Separated for more than five months, Dow and Justin embrace in Lambert airport, reunited thanks to a last-minute reversal of her deportation. | RENEE BRONAUGH/PARK HILLS DAILY JOURNAL up in a deportation. Crucially, the story featured comments from Debbie Peterson herself, advocating for her former worker despite the theft and calling Dow “a great employee” who had admitted to the theft “immediately after it was discovered.” “I didn’t know she wasn’t a citizen,” Peterson said, as quoted in the story. “She is a good mother and we don’t want her away from her children. They are just taking her over there in an airplane and dropping her off with no money and no place to live or anything.” Suddenly, online and in real life, people were getting behind the movement to free Dow Boyer. “Newspapers were calling me,” Justin recalls. “I just couldn’t believe it. We were just some country folk, and all of a sudden there’s 2,000 people on the Facebook group, then ,000, and then 9,000. I had petitions going to the Missouri capitol, petitions going to the White House. It was overwhelming.” Justin credits Bronaugh’s reporting for bursting the story into national coverage. Beyond the morally complicated tale of an injured husband, theft charges and old immigration questions, the report confronted readers with the details that told the simple story of sheer human misery. A mother being torn from family. A father breaking down while trying to comfort a child who can’t possibly understand. There was nothing

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abstract about it. “It was so bad that day,” Justin says now, recalling the Mother’s Day visit. “When we were leaving the jail, my daughter asked, ‘Why can’t mama leave with us?’” The question had almost knocked him off his feet. “She’d never asked that before,” he says. “Those pictures are of me sitting down and explaining to her why.”

ess than two months later, Dow tried to make a purchase at the jail commissary with her inmate ID. It was rejected. That was a bad sign. “I knew this,” she explains now, “because there was a fellow inmate who did the same thing, hers wouldn’t work, and the next day she was gone. I called Justin, and I told him, ‘Babe, something’s wrong.’” Hours later, in the middle of the night, Dow was jolted awake. She’d been right: The deportation was finally happening. There would be no more jail visits from her husband and children. There was no time to say goodbye. “I remember hearing the lock open up real loud,” she says. “They called my name, told me to pack my stuff. I asked to call my husband and lawyer, and they said, ‘No.’” Instead, they took her straight to the airport and put her on a plane to Chicago, and there she

was handed off to another ICE agent as they waited for her direct ight to Thailand to board. However, this federal agent seemed to have a heart: He let her make a phone call. Two phone calls. Justin was in the shower, so the first call went to voicemail (“I was so mad ” she recalls), but the second was picked up by his mother. Justin proceeded to call their new immigration attorney, Javad Khazaeli, “about a hundred times” — finally reaching him as he was in the act of moving out of his Chicago condo. Khazaeli was no small-town lawyer. Like Dow, his parents had brought him to America as a child in the late 19 0s. As a dual citizen of Iran and the .S., he became an immigration attorney and joined the federal government’s counterterrorism efforts under the George W. Bush administration, eventually spending more than a decade as a prosecutor with the Department of Homeland Security and ICE. In 2014, Khazaeli left the government and went private. He’d been stunned reading coverage of Dow’s pending deportation in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. He reached out to Debbie Peterson and, with her backing, won Justin’s trust to take the case pro bono. Khazaeli had worked out an agreement with ICE that he would be notified when Dow’s travel

documents were finalized, but he says the agreed-upon warning never came. On the day of Dow’s deportation, Khazaeli was caught unprepared. He had all the resources of a phone, his neighbor’s stolen Wi-Fi and a 1996 Chevy Blazer stuffed with furniture and other items destined for his new home in St. Louis. He had less than two hours to stop Dow’s ight. Which left three options. “I could go to the airport and try to fuck stuff up there,” he recalls thinking, “but I didn’t even have a suit, and they’re not going to let some Iranian guy just y through security.” There wasn’t time to file a motion with the federal court. That left one option. “I was like, ‘OK, I’ve got to go nuclear.’” Khazaeli called ICE, reaching a former colleague in the agency’s “enforcement and removal operations” division, texting him repeatedly to get out of whatever meeting he was in. “I’d never pulled a card like this before,” Khazaeli says. “He gets out of the meeting, I tell him what the deal is, and he basically says, ‘You’re not going to screw me on this, you’re not hiding something from me?’” Sitting in his condo’s hallway with his laptop pressed to a neighbor’s door (the only place he could get a signal), Khazaeli logged into his email and hammered out a message to his ICE contact summarizing the details of the case, covering Dow’s immigration history, her lack of resources in Thailand, the advocacy of Debbie Peterson and the progress he’d made toward getting Dow’s 201 felony conviction set aside. “He calls me back and tells me two things,” Khazaeli says. “‘We’re going to stop the deportation now, and instead of sending her back to St. Louis and putting her in jail, we’re going to send her back to St. Louis and release her back to her family.’” As Khazaeli understood it, ICE’s logic tilted on the judgment that if Dow wasn’t worth deporting, “then we’re just going to send her home.” Khazaeli hung up the phone and immediately dialed Justin to tell him the news. In Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport, the ICE agent told Dow that her travel plans had changed — and she nearly tackled him with a hug when she learned her final destination. In the Daily Journal’s Park Hills office, Renee Bronaugh hit publish on a dramatic update to her earlier deportation story and got

Komdown “Dow” Boyer poses for a portrait moments before the start of her citizenship ceremony — bringing seven years of tension to an end. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI on the road, joining a rush of local and national reporters scrambling to get to St. Louis Lambert International Airport before Dow’s arrival. Justin was already on his way. For Dow, it was the end of a day that began with the doomed sound of her cell clanging open and a command to pack. That same evening, she walked out of the Lambert terminal in a loose white shirt and sweatpants, carrying the same red mesh bag into which she’d stuffed the meager jailhouse possessions — a few shirts, a single pair of underwear, letters from Justin — which she’d expected to use in her new life in Thailand. Instead, she was returning to what she’d been ripped from. The moment she emerged from the terminal, reporters crowded, cameras in hand, as Justin and Dow collapsed into each other.

t is April 9, 2021, and Justin ascends the courthouse stairs to sweep America’s newest citizen into his arms. Dow holds a small American ag and a grab bag of items, including the printout of the Oath of Allegiance, information on

voter registration and one truly precious possession: a spotless white folder stamped with the seal of .S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. At the bottom of the stairs, Javad Khazaeli and Renee Bronaugh applaud. For all of them, this is a reunion combined with epilogue. The years had passed, and none of them felt like the story was truly over. After the near-deportation, Khazaeli had stayed on the case, eventually filing a joint motion with the St. Francois County prosecutor to set aside the 201 guilty plea on the basis that Dow’s former attorney had failed to advise her of the deportation consequences of a felony conviction. It took six months, but in December 2014, the judge agreed to the motion. With the blessing of Debbie Peterson, prosecutor Jerrod Mahurin dismissed the criminal case entirely. A year later, the deportation order against Dow was officially dropped. Once again, she was made a “lawful permanent resident” in a country where she had spent most of her life. But after everything, Dow wasn’t satisfied with a green card.

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nlacing her arms from Justin’s, she approaches Khazaeli and hands him the white folder from her bag. Tenderly, he withdraws her certificate of citizenship. “We had to hit so many halfcourters to make this,” he muses. “We needed a former government lawyer, someone at ICE willing to answer their phone, a prosecutor willing to set aside a conviction, a judge willing to accept the plea and a husband relentlessly fighting for his wife. “If any one of those people weren’t there,” he concludes, “this couldn’t have happened.” Despite everything, it did. In the end, all it took was a federal judge, a twenty-minute ceremony and a piece of fancy paper. For Dow, “It felt like someone giving me a second chance, like my rebirth.” “How can I express it?” she says, shaking her head. “It was like someone telling me that it’s going to be OK, for me and my family. It feels like we’re one now, instead of me just being ” Justin picks up where Dow trailed off. “It’s like a big ‘What now?’ moment.” It’s the uncertainty of it all. Dow is . She’d spent some years incorrectly believing she was a citizen, and it had nearly cost her everything. And even as she and Justin rebuilt their lives in the aftermath of near deportation, there was no illusion about the thread holding up her freedom, and how easily, how quickly, it could be snapped. ICE could show up any day and take Dow back to jail, put her on a plane and send her away. “We could never really plan ahead,” Justin says, “and this has always been the goal, just ‘get her citizenship, get her citizenship’ — and now we’re here, we’ve got her citizenship. Now what? Now we’re at the future we could never plan ahead for.” For Justin, the past ten years tested his body and resolve. His lower legs are covered in skin grafts and scar tissue. Earlier this year, after nearly a decade of recovery from a car crushing his legs, he went back to work — fixing cars as a mechanic. In 2014, with his wife in jail and his family in crisis, Justin got Dow’s name tattooed around his left ring finger. It now appears faded on the skin, the ink roughed away by time and engine parts. But the feeling is deeper than skin, more real even than citizenship. It’s love. “It’s just a relief that no one can take her,” he says. “She’s as American as you can get.” n

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CAFE

[REVIEW]

Split the Difference Fortune at Gooseberry wows with its admittedly “weird” spin on classic food Written by

CHERYL BAEHR Fortune at Gooseberry 2635 Cherokee Street, 314-776-2337. Thurs.-Sat. 4-10 p.m. (Closed Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.)

im Bond remembers the exact moment that culinary genius struck. A few years ago — back when self-serve food buffets were a real thing and not a relic of the Before Times — she and her partner, Ross Lessor, loved running pizza nights at their Dutchtown restaurant, Gooseberries. It was a weekly spectacle, when they’d shut down the rest of their offerings and put out pans filled with all kinds of pizzas, sometimes asking their guests what toppings they’d like to see on the next batches. One night, a customer came in during pizza night craving one of Gooseberries’ St. Paul sandwiches. Disappointed that they weren’t available, the man was about to head out when Bond had an idea: Why not make a St. Paul pizza? She went back in the kitchen, cooked up a giant egg foo young patty, baked it into a crust, slathered the entire pie with a generous layer of mayonnaise, then topped it with chopped pickles, lettuce and onions. Instantly, she knew she had a hit, a realization confirmed when she found herself back in the kitchen making five more of the creations before the night’s end. This sort of whimsical, why-not approach to food has been the defining characteristic of Bond’s and Lessor’s cooking style since opening Gooseberries in 2014. It also describes their new venture, Fortune at Gooseberry, a partnership with the Fortune Teller Bar that launched this past October. Since then, Bond and Lessor have taken

Clockwise from top left: Kimbo pizza, kale and raisin salad, peanut tofu noodles, banana chocolate chip cookies, raspberry pecan cake, gyro tacos and honey lemon pepper wings. You really can’t go wrong with Fortune at Gooseberry. | MABEL SUEN over the bar’s food window and kitchen, providing carryout — and now outdoor-only dine-in — meals to those looking to enjoy their food and support the two businesses. Though Fortune at Gooseberry was in the works prior to the pandemic, COVID-19 informed the way the concept took shape. In March of last year, Bond and Lessor indefinitely shut down Gooseberries and immediately began running a food pantry out of the restaurant. A few months later, they decided they needed to figure out a way to support themselves and their guests, so they launched a weekly program, called the Weekly Hookup, wherein guests could purchase a generous basket of goodies designed to get them through the week. Still, this was a far cry from running a full- edged restaurant. Bond and Lessor realized that they needed to find an additional way to pay the bills — similar to the predicament that the Fortune Teller found itself in — so they de-

cided to partner up with the bar to offer takeout food and cocktails this past October. The response was overwhelmingly positive and has only grown now that the bar has reopened its outside seating area in the back courtyard. The setup is ideal for the current climate, with several options for contactless ordering. Guests can either order online before arriving, scan a QR code from their patio table, or they can use the bar’s outdoor, self-service kiosk — all systems are integrated so that there is seamless connection between the separate bar and food sides of the business. For those who choose to take their food to go, there is a carryout window at the front of the building. Guests wishing to dine on the patio enter through a long, narrow walkway to the right of the bar’s front door. Did I mention narrow? It’s a squeeze that can be either quirkily charming or claustrophobic, depending upon your inclination. For those who either aren’t into the tight journey

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or cannot access it, Bond says she and anyone else at Fortune Teller are happy to accommodate by taking patrons through a different entrance on request. No matter which way you choose to dine, you will be treated to an outstanding food experience. As Bond explains, she and Lessor don’t necessarily have a particular style of cooking inasmuch as they have an inclination toward classic dishes on which they put their own, selfdescribed “weird,” spin. Bond may call the food weird, but the more appropriate descriptor is magical, as evidenced by the fried bologna sandwich, a seemingly humble offering done extraordinarily well. Layers of fried, thick-sliced bologna and sliced cheese are stacked upon airy white bread like a towering melt. A bagel sandwich is equally impressive. Unlike typical iterations of the form, in which the filling is dwarfed by the bagel, here, the everything-seasoned boiled bread can barely contain

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the perfectly fried egg, cheese and thin-sliced fried potatoes. It’s like a breakfast buffet in sandwich form. Gyro tacos also impress. Hunks of seasoned lamb are tucked into small, uffy shells that taste like a marriage of a our tortilla and a pita. Tzatziki, tomatoes, lettuce and cucumber garnish the tacos, each providing a different layer of texture that survives the takeout experience — as does the presentation. The five-piece order is presented in such a lovely, uniform style you’d think it was prepared by a food stylist for a photo shoot. The pizza taco, on the other hand, is a delightful mess. Inspired by Bond’s mom, who could not decide one night if she wanted pizza or tacos for dinner, the dish consists of a cheese pizza, garnished with sour-cream-dressed lettuce, folded in half. It’s like an overstuffed quesadilla with the unapologetic pleasure of a Jack in the Box taco. Bond spent several years as the pastry chef at Frazier’s, so it’s no surprise her hand pies are magnificent. She regularly changes up the fillings — on this occasion I

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Kim Bond and Ross Lessor. | MABEL SUEN enjoyed the piquant smoke of banana peppers and bacon — but no matter what variety you get, the scene-stealer is the crust. Flaky and baked to a golden brown, it’s a glorious canvas for whatever concoctions she’s filling it with on that particular occasion. Even straightforward dishes

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have special touches that set them apart. Honey lemon pepper wings are juicy and coated in just enough char to crisp the outside skin. The accompanying chili-infused dipping sauce is sweet on the first taste, but its significant heat creeps up on you and lingers well after you finish the dish. An

order of fried tofu, a Gooseberries fan favorite, comes with three different varieties; on this particular night, Lessor had made his famous “KFT,” or Kentucky Fried Tofu, a version that rival’s the Colonel’s special recipe; a countryfried steak version; and a sesame ginger varietal. Three housemade dipping sauces — sweet and sour, teriyaki and grape mustard — accompany the dish. Bond and Lessor say that their mission has always been to provide a joyful experience for people to eat their food. It’s been an especially difficult feat this year, considering how necessarily transactional dining out has become. However, even with the online ordering and selfservice kiosks, they’ve managed to succeed in creating a soulful experience by giving diners something that is unique and clearly representative of who they are — that their St. Paul pizza is one of the best things you’ll eat this year doesn’t hurt either.

Fortune at Gooseberry Fried tofu basket ........................................ $9 Gyro tacos ................................................... $9 St. Paul pizza ............................................ $15 • Carryout and outdoor dine-in; contactless ordering

SHORT ORDERS [ TA C O S ]

Taco Circus @ Trops Coming to the Grove Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

his spring, a match made in food and beverage heaven is coming to the Grove, courtesy of two well-known names. Taco Circus @ Trops (4104 Manchester Avenue), a partnership between Taco Circus and Tropical Liqueurs, will open inside the existing Trops space on Manchester Avenue. The new concept brings together the Tex-Mex favorites St. Louisans have come to love from restaura-

[OPENINGS]

Mr. Meowski’s Sourdough Open in St. Charles Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

ain Street St. Charles has a new destination for artisanal sourdough bread thanks to Tim Nordmann, the self-taught baker behind the beloved brand Mr. Meowski’s (107 North Main Street, St. Charles; 636-922-9234). The bakery moved from its tiny digs in suburban St. Charles to a larger spot in the heart of the area’s historic district at the end of March, with expanded capacity and additional offerings sure to win over new fans. According to Nordmann, the need for a larger space became apparent to him almost immediately upon opening the original Mr. Meowski’s in early 2018, but the hunt for a suitable space started in earnest last February. After searching the St. Charles area for nearly a year,

Tacos plus booze slushies makes for a perfect combo. | COURTESY OF TROPICAL LIQUEURS teur Christian Ethridge’s Taco Circus with the 30-year-old, New Orleans-style frozen cocktail brand. In announcing the partnership, Bill Johnson, a member of the Trops ownership group, describes the he settled on the storefront near the intersection of Main Street and Jefferson Street, falling in love with the charm of the building itself and the neighborhood. Nordmann has embraced the historical feel of the space; the new Mr. Meowski’s has soaring ceilings, beautiful woodwork and exposed brick. A small pastry case greets guests upon entry, and a metal and wooden shelf filled with the day’s fresh-baked sourdough baguettes, rounds and sandwich bread stands just behind the order counter. Though there is no seating area, a wooden bench provides a space for guests to rest as they wait for their items to be prepared. The most impressive part of the space is the open work area. A large wooden table, made to Nordmann’s specifications by a St. Charles woodworker, stands in the center of the room, so guests can watch as the team of pastry chefs work the dough to create the bakery’s delectable goods. This, combined with whimsical touches — an antique safe, a vintage television playing Tom and Jerry, funny bakery-themed knick-knacks — give Mr. Meowski’s a warm, playful feel. After turning his bread-making hobby into a bona fide business in 2016, Nordmann gained a following through his presence at Tower Grove Farmers’ Market. Longtime fans will be pleased to know

natural fit between the two entities. “This past year has given us the opportunity to plan for the future and find what we think is the perfect fit for a dining experience within Trops,” Thompson says.

“With summer on the horizon, we are excited to bring Taco Circus to The Grove. There is such a natural fit between tacos and slushies, we know our guests are going to love it.” In addition to the frozen cocktails that fans of Trops have come to love, guests at the new concept will get to pair their drinks with Taco Circus mainstays, plus some new items to be introduced at the new venture. Several varieties of tacos, a Mexican twist on a St. Louis pizza, elotes and churros will all be available at Taco Circus @ Trops. Additionally the spot will host a weekend brunch, serving up such dishes as tres leches French toast with Una Vida Tequila ice cream, chile relleno tortilla Espanola, Michoacanstyle pork belly eggs Benedict and the breakfast tacos that put Taco Circus on the map. Ethridge and the Trops ownership group have not yet announced a date, citing only that the new concept will open in late spring. Additional details, including a firm opening date, are expected to be announced in the coming weeks. n

Mr. Meowski’s is serving naturally fermented sourdough breads and pastries.| CHERYL BAEHR that, food-wise, not much has changed in the move. Nordmann and his small team of pastry chefs are still making the same naturally fermented sourdough they’ve become known for, as well as croissants, pretzels, cinnamon rolls and other out-

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standing pastries. Nordmann also regularly does a Thursday night pizza night, featuring a classic Margherita pie. The new Mr. Meowski’s is open Friday through Sunday from 7 a.m. until 2 p.m. n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

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[FOOD NEWS]

Bowood by Niche Takes Over Cafe Osage Space Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

ew life is being breathed into the restaurant space at Bowood Farms (4605 Olive Street, 314-454-6868) courtesy of a celebrated name in the St. Louis restaurant scene. Bowood by Niche, a new restaurant from acclaimed chef and restaurateur Gerard Craft, will open late this summer in the building’s former Cafe Osage space. Craft announced the forthcoming restaurant on social media, noting his excitement at “delivering warm hospitality for lunch, dinner and brunch late Summer 2021.” According to Craft, that

The new concept is scheduled to open this summer. | COURTESY OF BOWOOD BY NICHE comfortable, neighborhood feel he described in his posts will be the defining characteristic of Bowood by Niche. “We’re really trying to make this a neighborhood spot,” Craft says. “This is not going to be molecular

gastronomy. This is real, comfortable, soulful food. That’s what this space already does well, and we want the whole restaurant to feel like a big hug after a year when you couldn’t have one.” Though Craft has not yet re-

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leased details of the menu, he says there will be a wood grill and oven on the newly renovated outdoor dining area. Whatever form particular dishes take, however, one thing he wants to make sure of is that the new restaurant carries on the legacy of Bowood’s founder, John McPheeters, who passed away over the summer. As Craft explains, he and McPheeters have a history together; the two men got to know each other during the launch of McPheeters’ Magnificent Missouri project, which celebrated the Missouri River Valley west of St. Louis. “I recently saw a video of when we did the big launch party for Magnificent Missouri at Bowood, so this all feels like it’s coming full circle,” Craft says. “The space, John’s mindset, how we injected food into the conversation with Magnificent Missouri and the farmers in the Missouri River Valley — this ties all of that together. I’ve always been in love with this space; it has so much soul. This place is truly a labor of love for that family, and now his kids have the same amount of passion for the space and are just amazing people. We are so excited to be working with them.” n

APRIL 28-MAY 4, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

REEFERFRONT TIMES

Tommy Chims Smokes Swade’s Weed

Within fifteen minutes of smoking I watched him fix a broken water feature in his backyard, drag a grill out of his shed to clean it off and then get some charcoal going.

Written by

THOMAS CHIMCHARDS

ispensary employees, as a group, must be the cheeriest subset of retail workers out of the whole lot. That’s not to imply they are dipping into their employers’ stash or anything, nor would I suggest that their jobs are particularly easy. But so far my experiences purchasing weed in St. Louis’ nascent medical marijuana industry have consistently involved dealing with some of the friendliest, most happy-to-be-here workers I’ve seen in my many years of exchanging money for goods. It feels like there’s a certain pervasive sense of wonderment that we’re even able to do this right out in the open — after all, not long ago both buyer and seller would be looking at potential jail time for the things that happen within a dispensary. I may be projecting. As a man who has run afoul of the legal system repeatedly over the years due to weed — and who, for a period of time, even had to submit to the indignity of filling a cup with urine on a regular basis while an agent of the state employed mirrors to stare at my ding-dong from three different angles — I can certainly attest that not having to worry about all that shit is an absolute blast for me. But I suspect that, for now at least, while the novelty is still fresh, that feeling probably extends to the staff at a dispensary, too. And no dispensary that I’ve visited so far has left me with that impression more than the Grove location of Swade Cannabis (4108 Manchester Avenue, 314924-6503). Nestled between Tropical Liqueurs and Just John Night Club, Swade’s Grove spot had only recently opened its doors when I came to visit. Upon stepping inside I found a waiting-room area to the right and a front desk manned by a woman in a Swade-branded face

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Sinse’s “Miracle Alien Cookies” hybrid, purchased at the Grove location of Swade Cannabis. | THOMAS CHIMCHARDS mask to the left — the first of several downright pleasant employees I’d interact with on this visit. Upon giving her my ID, medical card, phone number and email address, I was asked to pull my own mask down and look directly into a surveillance camera so that the shop could have my ugly mug on file. She explained that this is so that they know who they are doing business with — a security measure, it would seem — and that she expects it will no longer be required once mask mandates are no longer in effect. In any

case, it wasn’t a big deal. My dumb face entered into the record, I stepped into the oor of the shop. The dispensary itself is a sight to behold, a “statement space” of architecture and design, according to a press release announcing its opening. As the agship of the Swade brand and its third dispensary in the St. Louis area, this location reads almost as a piece of art you can walk around in, thanks to the work of several locals. It was designed by MIN+ Architecture, with thoughtful ourishes including a colorful

S T H U HIGHER THO G From the altered mind of

THOMAS CHIMCHARDS Starting this week, we’re introducing a new feature to this column. Welcome to Higher Thoughts, wherein ol’ Tommy Chims smokes one strain from this review — in this case, Miracle Alien Cookies — and then immediately writes whatever comes to mind in the hopes of giving you, dear reader, a clearer picture of its overall mental effects: no rules, no predetermined word counts and, most crucially, no editing. Let’s dive in: HOW COME THERE aren’t more smoking-hot-monster movies? We sorta went through a whole thing with that a few years back with the Twilight series — hot vampires and sexy werewolves were all the rage as I recall — but are we really content to leave it at that? I want to see all of the hot versions of the monsters. A smoldering Swamp

Thing, a breathtakingly gorgeous Mothra. Hugefoot, if you get my meaning. Think “W.A.P.” meets the Monster Mash. Sure, Godzilla Vs. King Kong is great and all, but what if we could also be horny as fuck about their ripped lizard abs and chiseled monkey jaws while watching it? Missed opportunities, is all I’m saying.

Was that helpful? Who knows! See you next week.

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custom mural on the front of the building by Jayvn Soloman, an illuminated ceiling print by Dave Bour at SuperDog Content and Douglas fir benches by Mwanzi Co.’s Jermain Todd. In total, it just feels cool, and fitting for the Grove’s overall vibe. I was led by helpful employee number two to the “Bud Bar,” where helpful employee number three stood behind a table holding a series of ower-filled illuminated jars with magnifying glasses built into their lids. At the time of my visit the shop had Miracle Alien Cookies, Critical Mass, Pineapple Upside Down Wedding Cake, Purple Trainwreck and Vanilla Kush on hand. As I geeked out staring at the various strains in their magnified state, the nowthree employees standing in the room with me each excitedly spoke about the products with an enthusiasm that frankly just can’t be faked. I went with an eighth of the Miracle Alien Cookies ($60) and a package of Blueberry Wana Gummies ($28 after a $12 discount due to a sale). I’d also seen on the shop’s website that it carries prerolls of Blue Dream, which happens to be my favorite strain, so I nabbed one of those too ($20 for 1 gram). After taxes — $4.56 in Missouri sales tax, $5.89 in St. Louis sales tax, $4.32 in cannabis sales tax — my total came to $122.77. I took my wares across town to the home of my former dealer, Mr. Nickname, who I knew happened to also have access to some Blue

Swade’s new flagship in the Grove is staffed by friendly employees, which fits the location’s style. | COURTESY SWADE DISPENSARY Dream. We stood in his backyard on a gorgeous, sunny spring day and got to work comparing notes. A wildly popular sativa-dominant hybrid made by crossing Blueberry with Haze and rated at 21.2 percent THC, my Clovr-branded preroll met my expectations and then some, bringing a familiar relaxing euphoria and a sense of focus and energy to my state of mind. Mr. Nickname evidently experienced similarly energizing effects from his stash. Within fifteen minutes of smoking I watched him fix a broken water feature in his backyard, drag a grill out of his shed to clean it off and then get some charcoal going. In other words, couch-lock is not a concern with this strain — and if the fact that I left before the burgers hit the grill is any indication, it’s not exceptionally appetite-stimulating either (although I suppose Mr. Nickname might disagree). The following day I dipped into the Miracle Alien Cookies. A Sinsebranded cross between Alien Cookies, Columbian Gold and Starfighter with a THC rating of 16.21 percent, the hybrid strain is absolutely eye-popping to look at, its uffy, pale green buds downright glistening with trichomes. I purchased this one pretty much based on its appearance alone — Swade did well by using those magnifying jars. Upon opening it up I was met with a strong citrus bite, which gave way to a rich grassy smell as I broke up the slightly sticky buds. On inhale it

had a avorful fuel-like taste that I could feel way up in my sinuses, and I was coughing before I got through with the bowl. My budtender at Swade said this strain is pretty much a 50/50 hybrid of sativa and indica, and that checks out based on my experience — I felt relaxed but not debilitated, I was able to stay productive but not

super focused, and the munchies didn’t really come into play. I viewed the Blueberry Wana Gummies with some hesitation. I’ve long thought myself to have a pretty high tolerance for edibles, but my previous week’s experience with a Keef Bubba Kush Root Beer — which absolutely knocked me on my ass upon consumption

— had me feeling more cautious. The gummies come in a childproof pack of ten, each containing ten milligrams of THC; since the root beer that had laid me out so thoroughly the week prior contained a whopping 100 milligrams of THC, I played it safe and ate just three of the gummies, which were fruity and not too sour, with only a hint of earthy cannabis taste. That seemed to be the sweet spot — about an hour later my stomach started rumbling, then a wave of relaxation washed over my body and I found myself with an unmistakable case of the giggles. Time seemed to slow down as well, and my chronic pain was suitably soothed — all consistent with the gummies’ status as indica-dominant. It’s easy to see why the employees at Swade seemed so damn cheerful — as an overall environment, the shop is artsy, unique and unmistakably hip, and its wares handily get the job done. During my visit one staff member mentioned that business had been slow that day, but said he expected that things would pick up once word got out. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he is correct. n

New Dispensary Lands in the Delmar Loop Written by

JAIME LEES

here’s a new medical marijuana dispensary in town, and this time it’s in the famed Delmar Loop. Always a hub of “counterculture” St. Louis society, you can find almost anything in the Loop — from restaurants to retail shops, hotels to entertainment venues and even sometimes an old timey trolley. There’s been a head shop there forever, and now there’s a new medical marijuana dispensary, too. JANE Dispensary (6662 Delmar Boulevard, 314-464-4420) is now open just west of Vintage Vinyl and right across Delmar Boulevard from St. Louis Bubble Tea and Seoul Taco. Marketed as a “sophisticated cannabis boutique,” JANE aims to offer a highend, informative and comfortable shop experience for the previously uninitiated. In addition to offering seminars and work-

JANE Dispensary opened on 4/20, of course. | COURTESY JANE DISPENSARY shops, JANE will also offer “premier cannabis products including flower, edibles, beauty products, oils, and accessories to Missouri medical marijuana patients.” Right now, there are a variety of flower and fruit-flavored gummy edibles listed on the JANE website menu, along with stylish store-branded merchandise, of course. The JANE philosophy is to provide a personalized, one-on-one experience for each customer that will have them com-

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ing back for more. “We know how expansive the cannabis market is so we take pride in homing in on the perfect product for every patient that walks through our doors or visits our website,” says Leigh Anne Baker, director of operations. “Our passion is to pave the way in this emerging market and provide a service, rather than just a product.” JANE is open each day of the week from 11 a.m. until 7 p.m. n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

CULTURE

[ T H E AT E R ]

Herstory in the Making New St. Louis theater company is planning an all-women playwright festival Written by

RILEY MACK

startup theater organization started by a St. Louis duo is planning a festival that will feature a lineup of plays written by women. Prism Theatre Company is taking scripts until June 1 for Spotlight On: Women Writing, Prism Festival of New Works, with hopes of starting productions in late July to August. Founders Joy Addler and Trish Brown met in 2016 when they worked on a production together. Each came with years of experience, a passion for theater, dreams of owning their own organization and firsthand knowledge of the biases prevalent in their field. Today, they head a company with the intent of giving everyone a fair shot in the theater world. “The idea is to provide substantial opportunities for women and emerging artists in a safe, collaborative, open and kind environment,” Brown says. “All of these things are really important to us.” Addler, the managing director, and Brown, the artistic director, initially hoped to debut a full season in 2020 as Prism’s introduction to the St. Louis theater crowd. That plan was soon interrupted. Just a few months after the company was established, the pandemic hit. Instead of opening nights and curtain calls, the arts organization was forced to spend its first year attempting to survive as a company. “It’s really given us a little bit of grit, because we have had to continually make the decision, ‘Is this mission something that we’re willing to push through for?’” Addler says.

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Joy Addler, left, and Trish Brown are introducing their new theater company with a new festival. | COURTESY JOY ADDLER AND TRISH BROWN Over and over, the answer has been “yes.” “I think ‘perseverance’ has been the key word. That’s been the key word for every arts organization that has survived this pandemic,” Brown adds. “We’re very grateful to be able to be here and to be doing this. It’s a real gift, and we don’t take it lightly.” While the world still has not reached the level of normalcy that they had hoped for, Addler says they “didn’t want to sit on this mission and opportunity.” The duo determined that Prism Theatre Company’s first public event should re ect their values as an organization — thus the theme of the all-women playwright festival expected to get underway this summer. The Prism team will decide on three to five plays, all written by women, by the end of June. They will consider any type of format, from ten-minute shorts to fulllength plays. The shows will be presented at a to-be-determined location, both in-person and with a livestream online. Addler and Brown are hopeful that this first project will set them up for success as a theater company in St. Louis. If it works, they plan to establish the festival as an

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“It always feels like such an accomplishment when a woman is promoted to a place of power in the theater world. That always feels like such a big deal. It shouldn’t. Women have played such a big role in the theater industry since it started.” annual event, with the spotlight on a different theme each year. To start, the two theater veterans believe that the work of wom-

en in the field has a well-deserved place at the forefront of the St. Louis theater scene. “It always feels like such an accomplishment when a woman is promoted to a place of power in the theater world. That always feels like such a big deal,” Addler says. “It shouldn’t. Women have played such a big role in the theater industry since it started.” “One of the big goals is to champion women’s voices from all walks of life, to shine a light on their stories and also to bring artists together to collaborate,” Brown adds. The Prism Theatre Company may have had an untimely launch amidst a pandemic, but its founders stand firm in the belief that its mission is too important to give up. They hope that their future audiences feel the same way. “We are so passionate about making sure that these voices are heard, respected and noticed,” Addler says. “We’re at a point in history where we have the first vice president, who’s not just a woman, but a woman of color — and that is just amazing,” Brown says. “So we’re hoping to continue fostering all of the inclusivity going on and taking hold in our world.” n

[COMEDY]

Just for Laughs Funny Bone comedy club is opening a St. Charles location Written by

DANIEL HILL

t. Louis’ premier comedy club is expanding out west, and it’s bringing the laughs with it. The Funny Bone (614 Westport Plaza Drive, Maryland Heights; 314-469-6692) has been bringing comedy to St. Louisans since 1985, and now it will be bringing the fun across the river in St. Charles, to a second location expected to open this fall. The move will make the second club a part of the Streets of St. Charles development project, built at the spot where Noah’s Ark once stood (1520 South Fifth Street, St. Charles). That project, headed up by Cullinan Properties

The Funny Bone is coming soon to St. Charles, the comedy club’s second location. | ANAISE HOUSKA Ltd., consists of a 27-acre community featuring multifamily housing, office space, dining, hospitality, retail and, importantly for this discussion, entertainment. “We are excited to expand the entertainment options at Streets of St. Charles with Funny Bone Comedy Club, which greatly complements the wide array of shopping and dining options,” Cullinan Properties Senior Leasing Repre-

sentative Patricia Kueneke says in a statement. “Patrons will now be able to do some shopping, grab dinner and catch a show, all in one convenient, exciting location.” The Funny Bone’s St. Charles location will be on Beale Street, between Arch Apparel and Prasino. Owner Jerry Kubach says it’s the “fun atmosphere and evening activity” in the district that initially persuaded him to open a new lo-

cation there. He expects that the club will be a perfect fit, and will be welcomed by the people of St. Charles. “We will strive to bring the best up and coming talent along with familiar high-profile comics that the crowds love,” he says. “Stay tuned for the list of comics that will be performing in the fall.” The Funny Bone is just one of several new additions to the district, which also announced that plant-based soap makery Buff City Soap has just opened its doors as well, joining several other wellregarded shops and restaurants that recently opened including Paperdolls Boutique, Sauce on the Side, Loaded Elevated Nachos and Napoli III. For Kueneke, the new slate of openings represents a return to normalcy after an extremely difficult twelve months. “After a tough year nationwide, it’s clear that Streets of St. Charles is thriving more than ever and remains the premier mixed-use destination for the Metro St. Louis area,” she says. The Funny Bone’s St. Charles location is slated to open in the fall. Operations at its current location will continue as usual. For more information, visit stlouisfunnybone.com. n

[FILM]

9 Mile Garden Hosting Outdoor Movies Written by

JAIME LEES

veryone’s favorite Affton gathering spot, 9 Mile Garden (9375 Gravois Road, 314-390-2806), is now hosting movies in addition to offering tasty food. The celebrated food-truck garden will be showing movies each Saturday night until mid-October on its huge 26-foot outdoor screen. The lineup is family friendly (though they’re not all just little-kid movies), and all films are scheduled to start at 6:30 p.m. unless otherwise posted so the whole family can enjoy without getting too sleepy. Visitors can buy their dinner or snacks

on site, bring their own blanket and snuggle up to watch a film under the stars. And in addition to Saturday night movies, 9 Mile Garden will also be hosting a farmers’ market each Sunday this summer during their brunch hours of 10 a.m. until 2 p.m., so chances are that Afftonites will be spending entire weekends at the Gravois food-truck garden soon. The scheduled movie lineup is below. May 1: Fabulous Mr. Fox May 8: Uncle Buck May 15: Iron Man May 22: Jaws May 29: Back to the Future June 5: Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back June 12: Moana June 19: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom June 26: Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl July 3: Captain America: The Winter Soldier July 10: Avatar July 17: Ocean’s Eleven July 24: Finding Nemo July 31: Batman August 7: Rocky

You can enjoy dinner and a show this summer and fall at 9 Mile Garden. | COURTESY 9 MILE GARDEN

August 14: Ready Player One August 21: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey August 28: Wreck It Ralph September 4: BumbleBee September 11: Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan September 18: The Wizard of Oz

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September 25: Close Encounters of the Third Kind October 2: Young Frankenstein October 9: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire October 16: Big October 23: Clue October 30: The Sixth Sense n

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SAVAGE LOVE QUICKIES BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: I have a quick question about bisexuality. What if one has a preference for dating straight individuals? As a straight woman, I am only interested in dating straight men. Is that some kind of phobia? Or is it okay for that to be a preference? I’ve always wanted to ask someone this but I’m afraid of being thought of as having a phobia. Nervously Asking Dan Something I think you’re fine, NADS, so long as you’ve taken a moment to think about why you are burdened with this “preference.” Our sexual attractions, orientations, and preferences are easily distorted and limited by prejudice. If you re ect on what might be at the root of your “preference” for men who are straight (or for men who’ll tell you they are), NADS, you might be able to open yourself up to more partners. But a person can re ect day and night for decades and still feel the same way. At the very least, though, we can all be thoughtful about our erotic and/ or sexual biases, take responsibility for them, be considerate about how we express them and — perhaps most importantly — do our best not to transmit them. I’m not into shame, but not finding a particular group of people attractive for whatever reason is something we can keep to ourselves — not just to avoid doing harm to people we aren’t attracted to, but to avoid passing our erotic biases and limitations on to the next generation. Hey, Dan: My wife and I (lesbian moms together) have been invited to her cousin’s wedding. And she’s marrying the son of a former Republican statewide official who, in the early 2000s, turned the power of his state against gays, especially gay parents. His son hasn’t renounced his views — in fact, he’s converted his fiancée, my cousin-in-law, to Trumpism. If it’s relevant, they’re more countryclub homophobes than rednecks, they want to be seen as mainstream and pleasant, and they now live in a very liberal city and hide their views so they’re not pariahs. Not sure how to handle — simply not respond-

ing? Citing his father’s views in the RSVP? Never going to any family function where they will be, ever? I really don’t want my kid around these people, but also, I feel like maybe I should go to set an example. But then, wearing my best suit and tie to a Trump wedding deep in a red state makes me worried for my physical safety. What Would You Do? I would send my regrets along with a broken toaster and the wrong receipt. Hey, Dan: I have a cult fascination with the film Withnail and I. OK, I love this film. But I am troubled by the perspective this film offers on homosexuality. It’s not what one would call a “modern perspective.” I believe the film’s portrayal of homosexuality can be seen as funny or alarming or a cultural reference point. I think it’s all three. My son is gay, and with some introductory apologies, I want to tell him to watch the film. Have you seen the film? And if so, your thoughts? Friend Of Withnail I’ve never seen the 198 film, but a quick Google search of “Withnail and I” and “homophobic” brings up nearly 100,000 results. Apparently one of the film’s main characters ( ncle Monty) is a “predatory homosexual” who makes a series of unwelcome advances on one of the male leads. “Is the film homophobic? Yes, undoubtedly,” Philip Caveney writes at Bouquets Brickbats. Richard Griffiths, the actor who plays Monty, “somehow manages to evoke genuine sympathy for a tragic character who is, more than anything else, lonely — but all the talk about buggery by force does make you feel rather uncomfortable.” You’d be hard pressed to find a popular film released in 198 that wasn’t deeply homophobic either by commission (hateful portrayal of gay characters) or by omission (complete absence of gay characters). Still, the film doesn’t portray homosexuality, FOW; it portrays an individual homosexual. It was doubtless a damaging portrayal at the time, as there were so few other representations of gay characters on TV or in film back then. But viewed now — when there are more representations of gay people in film and television than ever before — it doesn’t have

the power to do the same damage. So go ahead and recommend the film to your son, FOW, with the appropriate qualifiers and apologies. Hey, Dan: I just got dumped in a pretty brutal and inconsiderate way by a guy I really liked. He didn’t want to tell me it was over, he just pulled away and left me to figure it out on my own. We were dating for a year and he even started dating someone else and didn’t bother to inform me but didn’t hide it from me either. I feel depressed and really sad because I still like him and I miss him and I don’t know what to do. Sad And Depressed Over New Ending If he did that if he broke up with you like that you didn’t like him. Not really. You liked the idea of him you formed in your head. He gave you the outline of a decent guy, and you filled that outline in with everything you hoped he was, i.e. a kind, loving, decent guy who was as into you as you were into him. Or at the very least, SADONE, a guy who cared enough about your feelings to end things in a kind and considerate manner if it came to that. You can and should feel sad about losing the guy you hoped he was, but don’t feel sad about losing the guy he turned out to be. Because that guy was an asshole. Hey, Dan: I was just listening to the Savage Lovecast (Episode 750), and you were responding to a fella who was ejaculating sooner than he would like. I wanted to say that I, a female, had a male partner who always came twice. Once was quick and he played it cool, and just owned that that was how he operated. We switched to a new condom and could go for much longer the second time! Own it, guys! No need for shame about your body’s functionality. Come And Come Again It’s good advice for men who suffer from premature ejaculation (PE) — don’t try to stop that first orgasm and you’re likely to last longer as you build to a second — but that advice works better for younger men with shorter refractory periods. The older a man gets, the longer his refractory period becomes; if your partner’s second orgasm took 12-24 hours to arrive, well, that’s a long time to wait, no condom or no new

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condom. Older guys with PE might want to try low-dose SSRIs, i.e. antidepressants; one of the side effects of SSRIs is delayed ejaculation, and studies have shown that they are a pretty effective treatment for PE. Hey, Dan: I saw your response to DTFOMBNB, the gay man who wanted an emotionally intimate, sexless relationship and the freedom to seek casual sex elsewhere. You mentioned asexuals and cucks as potential partners for the intimate-butsexless-relationship part, Dan, but I wanted to mention another possibility: I’m a gay guy in my 50s, and I learned relatively late in life that I’m on the autism spectrum. Specifically, I have Asperger’s syndrome. That diagnosis was part of what resulted from my first long-term, cohabiting relationship, during which I found that I couldn’t manage intense emotional intimacy and physical intimacy at the same time. I loved my boyfriend and cherished a lot of what we shared. I loved conversations, cuddling, traveling, etc. But adding sexual intimacy on top of all that just felt overwhelming. I can’t say that my experience reflects those of all people with autism, but to me, what DTFOMBNB describes is similar to how I’ve envisioned any future relationship I might enter into. The bad news is that pretty much all of the relationship-oriented guys I’ve encountered on dating sites are looking for a relationship that combines emotional and sexual intimacy, so it’s not an easy ask. But there are definitely men like me out there looking for what DTFOMBNB wants. A Sexual Partnership Isn’t Essential Considering how many people wind up in sexless relationships, ASPIE, it stands to reason that some non-insignificant percentage of the population wants a sexless relationship. But so long as people who want intimate-but-sexless relationships don’t feel comfortable asking for it — so long as guys like you and DTFOMBNB assume no one else could possibly want what you’re offering and so you don’t offer, e.g. you don’t put it out there on the dating apps — you’re going to have a hard time finding each other. mail@savagelove.net @FakeDanSavage on Twitter www.savagelovecast.com

APRIL 28-MAY 4, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

APRIL 28-MAY 4, 2021

riverfronttimes.com

APRIL 28-MAY 4, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

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Riverfront Times, April 28, 2021

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