Riverfront Times, April 14, 2021 by Riverfront Times

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

MARCH 6-12, 2019

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THE LEDE

PHOTO BY THEO WELLING

“Choosing between two really awesome women? Feels good. It feels hopeful amidst a lot of other news that sounds really terrible about our voting system and politicians. The worst-case scenario is still really good, and that feels lucky.” ROSANNA GARY-SWAIN, PHOTOGRAPHED AFTER VOTING AT THE MISSOURI SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND POLLING PLACE ON APRIL 6 riverfronttimes.com

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The Weed Report

eed coverage is usually pretty weird, in a bad way. An undercurrent of hand wringing over whether marijuana should be legal gets dumbed down even further with Cheech & Chong-inspired jokes in mainstream newspapers and TV news, while readers/viewers just want to know what dispensary is selling as they wait for outdated laws to catch up with popular opinion. So we’re introducing dedicated weed coverage in a (probably still weird) good way. RFT’s new cannabis correspondent Thomas K. Chimchards debuts his column this week in our weed issue, and we’ll be following up with a new weekly section on the latest in marijuana news. Say what you want about us, but there is nobody better suited to the beat than the RFT. I hope you enjoy it. —Doyle Murphy, editor in chief

TABLE OF CONTENTS Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Doyle Murphy

E D I T O R I A L Digital Editor Jaime Lees Interim Managing Editor Daniel Hill Staff Writer Danny Wicentowski Contributors Cheryl Baehr, Eric Berger, Jeannette Cooperman, Thomas Crone, Mike Fitzgerald, Andy Paulissen, Justin Poole, Theo Welling, Ymani Wince Columnist Ray Hartmann Editorial Interns Jack Killeen, Riley Mack A R T

& P R O D U C T I O N Art Director Evan Sult Editorial Layout Haimanti Germain, Evan Sult Production Manager Haimanti Germain M U L T I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Advertising Director Colin Bell Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel Multimedia Account Executive Chuck Healy, Jackie Mundy Digital Sales Manager Chad Beck Director of Public Relations Brittany Forrest

COVER The Weed Issue

C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

Meet the mysterious Tommy Chims as we enter a new era of cannabis coverage

E U C L I D M E D I A G R O U P Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services Stacy Volhein www.euclidmediagroup.com

Cover illustration by

N A T I O N A L A D V E R T I S I N G VMG Advertising 1-888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com

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HARTMANN Destination Legalization Watching the war on pot wind down is a nostalgic journey BY RAY HARTMANN

n the immortal words of the Grateful Dead, “What a long, strange trip it’s been.” The half-century-plus battle to legalize marijuana has indeed lasted a long time, but maybe not so much longer: Signs abound that the tragic era of Reefer Madness will end in the foreseeable future. On the other hand, that strangeness will continue to last for a while. No fewer than 36 states including Missouri have legalized medical marijuana, and fifteen states including Illinois have legalized recreational use. There’s a decent chance that Missouri voters will have the opportunity to follow suit next year. Only the possible resistance of Neanderthal legislators stands in the way. And the train is picking up speed. In the span of just one week last month, state legislatures in Virginia, New Mexico and New York felt emboldened to legalize marijuana for recreational purposes. That’s a huge development. To this point, most legislators have preferred to defer to citizen initiatives like the one that legalized medical marijuana in Missouri in 2018 or recreational in Illinois in 2020. What’s more, it’s widely expected that Democrats led by Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer will push through federal legislation that either decriminalizes or legalizes marijuana on a national basis. That would be huge. Even in metropolitan areas like St. Louis where progressive prosecutors Wesley Bell and Kim Gardner have smartly abandoned absurd pursuit of minor drug offenses, conflicts between federal and state laws still inflict dire consequences. On the other hand, don’t think for a minute that same trip won’t continue to feature much strangeness for the time being. If anything, the short-term forecast calls for plenty of storms as

communities such as St. Louis wrestle with the paradox at hand: Weed isn’t widely demonized like it once was and the coming legalization is a foregone conclusion; yet disastrous remnants of the War on Drugs That Don’t Enjoy Corporate Sponsorship linger on. As an example, even if someone has medical marijuana prescribed for a severe health reason, that person might still be required to test drug-free as a condition of probation or parole or to keep their job. Such conditions, not all that rare, can force a person to choose between health and freedom or economic survival. The evolving world of medical marijuana is replete with such contradictions. Prosecutors in surrounding counties in the St. Louis region aren’t following the playbook of Bell and Gardner. Neither are employers in countless cases. Even in the city and county, the new prosecutorial policies hardly mean that police aren’t rocking people’s worlds with drug-possession arrests. Perhaps it’s fitting that the most vocal voice emerging in the region to combat this absurdity belongs to one of the most conservative public officials locally: Republican state Representative Shamed Dogan of Ballwin. Dogan has provided a more consistent and passionate voice for marijuana legalization — in the name of combating racial disparity — than any other legislator on either side of the aisle, and he doesn’t mince words. Consider what he wrote for Greenway Magazine in 2019 on the subject: “Possession arrests far outweigh arrests for sales across all categories of drugs, including cocaine and opiates. In both 2017 and 2018, possession arrests made up 93% of all drug-related arrests. Marijuana possession arrests alone made up over half of all drug-related arrests. “In terms of racial disparities, African-Americans represent 10.9% of the total population but made up 27.75% of marijuana possession arrests in 2018. African-Americans were therefore arrested at a rate 155% greater than expected based solely on their proportion of the population. Accounting for their respective proportions of Missouri’s population, AfricanAmericans were arrested for marijuana possession at a rate 193%

“All of this data screams for a need for Missouri to overhaul our War on Drugs.” higher than Whites. This despite extensive research showing that blacks and whites use marijuana and other drugs at similar rates. “All of this data screams for a need for Missouri to overhaul our War on Drugs. Law enforcement resources should be redirected towards arresting and prosecuting violent drug traffickers, not drug users or low-level dealers. We should be worried about the most dangerous and addictive drugs such as fentanyl, heroin, cocaine, and meth, and not about marijuana. And we should make sure that the laws are enforced in a racially neutral manner.” By no means is Dogan the first conservative to find common ground with the political left on the topic. Consider what the late conservative icon William Buckley Jr. said — back when actual conservatism was a thing — on the subject: “Even if one takes every reefer madness allegation of the prohibitionists at face value, marijuana prohibition has done far more harm to far more people than marijuana ever could.” That was true decades ago and remains true now. But despite Buckley’s wisdom and clarity on the subject, the shift in American public opinion regarding marijuana has only taken place in the past two decades. Perhaps that’s why the current climate is a bit mind-altering to those of us a bit long in the tooth. As someone who fully understands why he’s addressed often with the greeting “OK Boomer” — and who believes that pot legalization is one of the few causes his generation didn’t mess up — I can’t emphasize how profound it is to witness the present outbreak of rationality. Pew Research and the Gallup Poll have independently tracked public opinion on pot for the past half-century, with remarkably similar findings. Go back to 1969 — yes, those crazy ’60s — and only

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12 percent of Americans favored marijuana legalization, while a staggering 84 percent were opposed. My side was outvoted a bit. Things didn’t change much for the longest time. For my own personal benchmarks, consider that when I started the RFT in 1977, marijuana legalization was favored by 28 percent of Americans. Do you know what it was when the paper sold 21 years later in 1998? Yep, 28 percent. The pro-legalization percentage had dipped as low as 16 percent in 1989. Flash forward to today, however, and the proportion of Americans favoring legalization has skyrocketed to 67 percent and rising, with only 32 percent opposed. And Pew’s research finds no significant difference in those numbers based upon race or education level, nor between Baby Boomers and Generation X. Millennials (76 percent) were most in favor of legalization, and the Silent Generation preceding Boomers (only 35 percent in favor) did show what formerly was known as a generation gap. Yes, the gulf between political parties remains: Democrats favor legalization of marijuana by a 78 to 20 percent margin, whereas Republicans favor it by just 55 to 44 percent. But on what other major issue do the parties find agreement at all? So it’s fitting that as April 20 approaches, we hearken back to the Grateful Dead and reflect on the journey. (For those not steeped in their pot history, here’s some background on the 4/20 thing and how the Dead played a vital part in the origin of the movement: merryjane.com/culture/whatsthe-connection-between-420-andthe-grateful-dead.) More importantly, the world in 2021 with regard to marijuana is looking ever more like the outliers dreamed as far back as the early ’60s, nearly six decades ago. Yes, it has been a long trip. And in a good way, it feels strange today. n Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhar tmann1952@gmail.com or catch him on Donnybrook at 7 p.m. on Thursdays on the Nine Network and St. Louis In the Know with Ray Hartmann from 9 to 11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

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NEWS

The Triumph of Tishaura Jones Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

n the night she lost her bid for mayor in 2017, Tishaura Jones faced a packed barroom of heartbroken supporters. Four years later, champagne flows into paper cups as campaign manager Rosetta Okohson ascends an outdoor stage to introduce the mayor-elect. But first, kohson bridges the two mayoral moments, tying together two destiny shaping elections separated not just by years, but by citywide protests, hundreds of homicides and an ongoing pandemic. Okohson had been there on March 7, 2017, to experience Jones’ primary loss, initially reported that night as a margin of just votes. he official tally later showed it was even tighter at 9 votes. She had watched ones deliver a concession speech after results showed yda rewson triumphant in a seven-candidate winner takes all slugfest with just 32 percent of the vote. et’s talk about ’ real quick,” Okohson told the electiongiddy crowd. or four years, have carried that number around with me as a reminder of how close we came. She stretches out her right arm, showing it to the crowd. iterally,” she says, gesturing at the tattoo inked above her wrist. t’s on my arm.” The number isn’t just about the votes or the fact that if not for 2017’s ludicrously split election, ones who is about to become the city’s first Black woman to serve as mayor would almost certainly be running for a second term. t was also a reminder to Okohson that the coalition of political movements that believed in Jones didn’t fold with her loss, but carried through it and how, in the ensuing years, St. ouis ounty elected esley Bell and St. ouis voters reelected im Gardner and then helped ori Bush

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Mayor-elect Tishaura Jones is finally getting her shot to run the city. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI

tion and building relationships — and many more supporters than ’d reali ed in the southwest. ndeed, as the results trickle in, it becomes clear that the night is going very much the way it had during the arch 2 primary, when ones decisively won the city’s northern wards and came away with victories in the supposed strongholds of Alderwoman ara Spencer. n the primary, voters were instructed for the first time ever to approve “as many” candidates on the ballot as they wished, resulting in ones coming in first and Spencer second. But the general election is a classic head-to-head. Only one candidate can be mayor. Unlike November, this election wouldn’t yield days of controversy or recounts the math was clear. Around 9:20 p.m., the Board of Election releases another batch of numbers, and the impact ripples into the modest crowd loitering near the line of cameras. n a flash, the supporters rush from their cars to celebrate, dancing, but not touching, as pop music booms across the parking lot. “TJ!” they cheer. “TJ!”

F Supporters had plenty to celebrate on election night as votes were counted. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI to the U.S. House. t was a reminder of an establishment which told us that a movement crying out for reform and recognition could use a dose of humility,” Okohson continues, smiling with vindication. t was a reminder that the work still needs to be done. And for four years, we have done the work.

wo hours earlier, the first carloads of Jones supporters had begun arriving for the “drive-in rally” the campaign was hosting in the parking lot of the mega enter in the ark wain neighborhood of north city. Of course, there are no shoulder to shoulder bar crowds, no tipsy canvassers hanging onto each other in exhaustion or sharing hugs as the early absentee results come in — the numbers

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show ones in the lead by nearly 1,000 votes. Seated in the front seat of a parked car, two canvassers, Tashaura Earl and Teresa Jones, watch through the windshield as campaign workers assemble the stage lights for the night’s later speeches. hey are bursting with e citement. Both women have spent weeks knocking on doors in hopes of electing the city’s first Black woman mayor. e’re making a historical moment,” Earl says of the campaign. love her initiatives. ’m here for that change, and ’m standing behind her.” arl’s fellow canvasser agreed. Despite the pandemic, St. ouis was engaged with the election. “People still came to the door,” Teresa Jones says through the driverside window. t was that connec-

our years ago, Jones’ electionnight hopes ended with a line of reporters asking her somber questions about what the defeat meant for her political future. Tonight, as she takes the stage, she faces a crowd chanting her name — and a city getting ready to meet its new mayor. After moving through thank yous to her family and her campaign team, Jones invokes the poetry of one of St. ouis’ greatest Black women, aya Angelou. he crowd knows the words, and their voices echo the immortal stan as: ou may write me down in history ith your bitter, twisted lies You may trod me in the very dirt/ But still, like dust, ’ll rise. St. ouis, ones continues, “This is an opportunity for us to rise. told you when was running that we are done avoiding tough conversations. e are done ignoring the racism that has held our city and our region back. made the same case four years ago and came up short. But made peace with the fact that would rather lose another election than to stop having the tough conversations in Continued on pg 10

Homelessness Surges, Straining Shelters Written by

RILEY MACK

omelessness rose through 2020, according to the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development’s annual assessment. Peter and Paul ommunity Services, which operates a shelter and transitional housing in St. ouis, affirms that it’s feeling the increase within its facilities, e acerbated by the ongoing effects of the pandemic. The study found that the surge is due to an increase of unsheltered and chronically homeless individuals, and that people of color are overrepresented among these statistics. “On a single night in January 2020,” the study reads, “580,466 people — about 18 of every 10,000 people in the United States – experienced homelessness across the United States.” During the past four years, HUD reports, homelessness has been on the rise, resulting in a 2.2 percent increase in 2020 from the year before. “Unfortunately, it’s not a surprise,” says Adam Pearson of Peter and Paul ommunity Services. ooking at the past few years, there has not been enough investment in affordable housing,” he adds. he influ of unhoused individuals has hit especially hard at Peter and Paul’s emergency shelter in Soulard. The location is a congregate shelter, meaning that it’s one large room with bunk beds. hat makes it harder to keep social distance in the space. n pre D 19 times, 60 men could sleep at the shelter every night. ow, they’ve had to reduce capacity to twenty, despite the increase in demand. Some nights, Pearson says, shelter staff has to turn people away. On a typical day prior to the

Homelessness surged in 2020, increasing demand at a time when shelters reduced capacity because of COVID-19. | NICK SCHNELLE pandemic, the doors to Peter and Paul’s emergency shelter would open at dinner time, and a flood of 60 visitors would make themselves at home for the night. Some would settle into their bunks. thers watched , played games or used the computer lab to work on resumes or apply for jobs. Dinner would be served, and guests would have an opportunity to work with case managers. n the morning, a continental breakfast would be served before the men would head out for the day. oday, however, the shelter must enforce capacity limits and social distancing. t gives the unhoused community a much more individual experience for the duration of their stay but cuts down on the number of people served. The Soulard facility is one of three Peter and Paul locations that have been forced to adapt to the new normal. “Overnight, all of our housing and shelter programs had to be modified a bit, Pearson says. After the initial 2020 lockdown, Peter and Paul had its own internal lockdown across all its programs. Garfield Place Apartments, its residential program that houses residents with severe and persistent mental illness, is under the same regulations as the rest of the city and has scaled back some of their group programs to a more one-on-one approach. The emergency shelter is also now open all day, so that unhoused individuals don’t have to leave “if they didn’t feel safe going out into

the community,” explains Pearson. e’re very much looking forward to more and more people getting vaccinated and things getting a little bit more normali ed in 2021,” he says. Despite seeing an increase of people showing up at its emergency shelter, Peter and Paul has actually seen a decrease in visitors to its food services. The meal program, located in Soulard, serves meals twenty days per month. The HUD assessment found that family homelessness remained steady from 2019 to 2020, and 90 percent of families with children were sheltered. ost of the support Peter and Paul provide to unhoused families and couples has been through this meal service. “One of the unexpected outcomes of the pandemic is that other [meal] services have popped up,” explains Pearson, which has helped fill the gap and meet the need.” ith more meal programs established around St. ouis and St. ouis ounty, individuals and families have had to travel less to receive a hot meal. This, Pearson believes, is one beneficial consequence of the crisis. HUD’s study also outlines the potential effects of President Joe Biden’s American Rescue Plan, which was signed into law in March. The plan provides $21.5 million in rental assistance, as well as allocating emergency funds to states to help their residents obtain stable housing. he plan was followed by an announcement by the enters for Disease ontrol

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and Prevention that extends a federal moratorium on evictions. But the moratorium won’t keep everyone in their homes. St. ouis ounty announced the resumption of evictions, working through a backlog of nearly 600 cases. Pearson believes the federal aid plan will absolutely help to combat the rising homelessness. A portion of the funds, he hopes, will reach those on the cusp of losing their homes to make sure that shelters and other resources do not get overcrowded. “A lot of this fund can go towards making sure people stay in housing,” he says. “There’s going to be space in there to get shelters more permanent housing programs, funding to increase the number of beds, increase staffing, increase programming.” According to Pearson, homelessness in St. ouis is a solvable problem. ith about 1,200 individuals unsheltered on a given day, he remains hopeful that with the right resources, St. ouis’ future may be much brighter for a vulnerable population. “There’s been so much more collaboration that ’ve seen this past year than at most other points,” he says. “There’s broad interest, broad passion and intense engagement in solving these problems.” And while the information outlined in the new D assessment seems dismal, Pearson finds a silver lining: Among the visitors to his organi ation’s emergency shelter, eighteen found permanent housing in 2020. n

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Samuel Israelsen’s “St. Louis” tattoo helped investigators identify his body. | NAMUS DATABASE

Missing Man Found Dead, Wrapped in Carpet Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

early two years after a St. Louis man disappeared, Jefferson County Sheriff’s deputies have found his body and charged a suspected in his killing and an alleged accomplice. Samuel Israelsen, 41, was last seen about June 1, 2019, on the outskirts of Eureka, according to police. After more than a month with no sign of him, Israelsen’s mother reported him missing. Investigators had heard he was with Jason Isbell, now 44, of Hillsboro, but they didn’t have a body. That changed on April 6, when the owner of some property near High Ridge discovered a roll of carpet, according to a sheriff’s news release. Wrapped inside was Israelsen. Israelsen had suffered severe head trauma, an autopsy found. Investigators were able to identify him with the help of a large “St. Louis” tattoo on his left arm. Jefferson County prosecutors have filed charges of first-degree murder and armed criminal action against Isbell.

TISHAURA JONES Continued from pg 8

every corner of our city.” That means not “staying silent” when she spots homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia or religious intolerance, she says. Invoking Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who was assassinated on Easter Sunday 53 years ago, she promises, “I will not stay silent when I spot any injustice. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice ...” he crowd interjects, finishing King’s famous quote for her, “... everywhere.” A multitude of injustices are waiting for St. Louis’ mayor, though she’ll have a half-billion dollars

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Jason Isbell is charged with first-degree murder. | COURTESY JEFFERSON COUNTY SHERIFF A 51-year-old named Timmy Miller of High Ridge was charged with abandonment of a corpse. Authorities say Isbell beat Israelsen to death with a baseball bat and Miller helped hide the body. Israelsen’s corpse was loaded onto a detached car hood, and Isbell used a 4-wheeler to drag him into the woods where he hid him under a woodpile, according to court documents. Miller trailed behind the 4-wheeler on a mini-bike. Charges were issued on April 8 against Isbell and on April 9 against Miller. Two others have also been taken into custody. According to the sheriff, they witnessed what happened and are considered accomplices. Isbell was held without bond. n

to aid her efforts to target them. Two jails are in crisis, with the City Justice Center the site of repeated uprisings and the maligned Workhouse still housing inmates in its crumbling walls. She’ll have a new public safety director to hire, a homicide spike to confront, a school system to stabilize, tax incentives to distribute equitably and a pandemic that could still upend everything with the potential for COVID-19 variants to trigger a new outbreak. But tonight, the arc of St. Louis’ political universe traces a fitting path, from Jones’ devastating loss to a dominant win. It was a story four years in the making. Jones waited. Her supporters believed. And in the end, St. ouis finally rose to meet her. n

THE BIG MAD [THE BIG MAD]

Balls and Strikes The good Rush, the bad customers and Josh Hawley’s war on baseball Compiled by

DANIEL HILL

elcome back to the Big Mad, RFT’s weekly roundup of righteous rage! Because we know your time is short and your anger is hot: THE GOOD RUSH: The Missouri legislature is attempting to besmirch the good name of Rush Limbaugh and we won’t stand for it — and that’s because it’s not the recently departed radio bloviatrix suffering besmirchery, but his father, Rush Hudson Limbaugh Sr. It was Rush Sr. who helped lead the 1940 efforts to transform Missouri’s corrupt judicial system into a nationally recognized model for appointing judges, one driven by commission members representing the interests of the governor, judges, citizens and attorneys. Missouri became a trailblazer. The nonpartisan system was dubbed “The Missouri Plan” and was copied and remixed in more than 30 states. Now, one of Missouri’s greatest namesakes is being undermined by one of its lowest: Republican lawmakers. On April 8, a state senate committee marked the first hearing for SJR14, sponsored by Republican state Sen. Rick Brattin. The bill would replace the Missouri Plan with a version of the federal system where the governor would select candidates to be confirmated in the senate. Brattin argues that the supposedly nonpartisan Missouri Plan is already affected by partisan politics — but his solution isn’t to reduce partisanship, but to push the pedal to the floor by turning every appeal and state Supreme Court vacancy into a fight over how fast conservatives can approve the governor’s nominee. As Brattin told the Missouri Independent, solving the problems of Missouri’s judiciary isn’t about removing partisanship, but “where do we want partisanship?” In Rush Sr.’s day, the problem with judicial elections was too much politics. For Republican lawmakers today, the problem is that the partisanship isn’t helping them enough. WAR ON BASEBALL: Old regular guy Josh Hawley now hates Major League Baseball and is trying to screw it up for everyone else. The day before the St. Louis Car-

dinals’ home opener, Hawley targeted baseball and “giant woke corporations,” threatening to “bust them up.” For the record, baseball has plenty of problems — racist fans taunting Black players and enough steroids to power ten seasons of Goodyear blimp flyovers, to name two. But when MLB finally did the right thing and moved the All-Star game out of Atlanta in protest of Georgia voting restrictions, Missouri’s leading culture warrior’s Twitter fingers tingled. Sure, Hawley has accepted hundreds of thousands from corporations, but he’s learned that it pays even better to play to conspiracy-addled crazies. After leading the insurgency-inspiring effort to overturn the presidential vote, Hawley bragged about skyrocketing donations — nearly $1 million in January. Attacking baseball is a lucrative extra inning. THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS EXHAUSTING: At this point, 10,000 days into the Indoor Times, you’d think people would be so thankful to eat anything other than Cheez-Its out of the box they’d be on their hands and knees thanking the hard-working people in the hospitality business for the opportunity to eat in restaurants. Alas, the early days of the pandemic — when people tipped like mad and called servers heroes — are over. In place of $100 tips on carryout, several local restaurant professionals have on social media detailed the abuse hurled by amped-up guests looking for anyone to take their pandemic-induced rage out on. From berating restaurant owners about using disposable utensils instead of actual flatware to screaming at teenage coffee shop workers for enforcing county mask mandates to a group of unruly guests showing their bare asses to staff at a popular eatery (they’ve since apologized), more than enough restaurant customers have been showing us the worst of ourselves. As Food & Wine wrote, entitlement and bad behavior have been so bad lately, it’s made life unbearable for those in the hospitality industry. There’s already a terrible staffing shortage as restaurants struggle to find help. With behavior like this, it’s not going to get any easier to staff up. LOUDER FOR THE BACK: Twin Cities area police enragingly couldn’t even make it through Derek Chauvin’s trial without senselessly killing yet another Black man, Daunte Wright, when Brooklyn Center, Minnesota, police Officer Kimberly Potter somehow confused her bright yellow plastic Taser with her black metal gun. We don’t have anything clever to add about the anger we’re feeling in solidarity here from St. Louis — except, of course, that Black lives matter. n

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Art direction: Evan Sult. Line drawing: Delicious Design League

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Welcome

to the Riverfront Times weed issue — and the launch of something new. We’ve been covering marijuana, literally for decades. The culture. The consumers. The market. The destructive government policies. The brutally uneven imprisonment. We have written about marijuana from just about every angle imaginable. And now, with legali ation finally turning a corner, we’re going to push even further with a dedicated section called Reeferfront Times (most jokes will be better, promise) in the paper and online. This week is the kickoff.

nside, you’ll find stories about the nonsensical process of obtaining legal marijuana outside of mainstream health care’s moralizing, a conversation with Jeff Mizanskey, marijuana on campus and a rundown of the dispensaries popping up across the St. Louis metro. Expect coverage of the wild west of the booming industry and Missouri’s renewed legalization efforts for recreational in the future. To guide the way, we’re introducing the RFT’s new cannabis correspondent Thomas K. Chim-

chards, a pseudonymous man of mystery whose debut column is an instant classic. Tommy Chims (@TOMMYCHIMS on Twitter) does a fine job of e plaining his plans, and I won’t double up here, but you’re going to want to read. You can make sure you don’t miss a word by signing up for our Reeferfront Times weekly newsletter at riverfronttimes.com or just keep checking back online and in the paper. A lot of the way our coverage grows will depend on you. So hit us up with your questions and story tips at either weed@riverfronttimes.com or tommy.chims@ riverfronttimes.com. See you around. —Doyle Murphy

A Farewell to the Weed Man Introducing THOMAS K. CHIMCHARDS

nce, as a fresh-faced teenager looking to reup my weed supply, I showed up at my dealer’s home on a sunny summer afternoon and was surprised to find that he no longer had a front door. Said dealer, whom my circle of high school friends referred to only as “The Guy,” lived in a trailer park in the county whose defining characteristic seemed to be its unnecessarily humongous speed bumps. The residents of the neighborhood had found a novel solution to avoid the suspensiondestroying mini-mountains, as evidenced clearly by the wheel ruts in the yards on either side of the road wherever they were installed. It wasn’t really a fantastic place to live, I guess is what I’m getting at — but still, the complete lack of a door was a new one. I stepped into The Guy’s home cautiously, and found that there was no furniture to be found within. This was normal — The Guy took a minimalist approach

to interior design that mostly involved milk crates and a mattress tossed on the floor. here was a new aspect to the scene, though, in the form of about a half-dozen men passed out all around the living room and surrounded by empty cans of air duster. The Guy arose from his midday slumber and came to greet me, explaining that he and his cohorts had been up all night drinking. They’d waited until the sun came up and newspapers had been delivered to his neighbors’ homes, at which time they wandered out and stole the plastic bags the dailies came in and used them to help force as much compressed air into their lungs as possible. The Guy was hazy on the details as to why he no longer had a door on his home, but I felt like I had gotten the picture. Asked if I wanted a hit of duster for the road once our transaction was complete, I politely declined. The Guy and I had a bit of a falling out in the weeks that followed when I purchased some acid

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sugarcubes from him that were heavy on the sugar and light — as in zero — on the acid, rendering that year’s ourth of uly fireworks display merely magnificent rather than mind-blowing. Soured on conducting business with The Guy after that disappointing experience, I began seeing another local dealer, whom my friends and I called “That Guy.” Once, while I was waiting in That Guy’s living room for him to complete my weed order, another fella who was there for similar reasons produced what looked essentially like a bottle of Visine from his pocket, stuck it up his nose, and took a big sniff. “Want some?” he said. “What is it?” I asked. “Heroin,” he replied matter-of-factly. Again, I politely declined. Those two experiences always come to my mind whenever I hear people refer to cannabis as a “gateway drug.” For years, D.A.R.E. programs and similar prohibitionist propaganda ham-

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ADIOS DEALER Continued from pg 13

mered the idea that use of the demon weed would lead inexorably to more dangerous drugs — that marijuana was just a stepping stone on the way to the addiction and ruin more harmful substances would inevitably bring. I always knew it was a crock of shit. By my estimation, the only reason I’d even been offered heroin or air duster at all — or for that matter, bunk acid — was as a consequence of weed being illegal. Being forced to purchase it on the black market is what led me to meet such shady characters as those Guys in the first place. With these formative experiences in the back of my mind, it’s more than a little surreal to now be in a position where I can not only purchase cannabis legally, without the risk of being offered any manner of life-ruining substance in the process, but at the behest of a publication that is actually paying me to do so. he first time stepped into a local dispensary and bought some weed — which was last week, actually, upon receiving the news that I’d gotten the cannabis critic gig at the RFT — was completely

disorienting. Purchasing pot in a professional environment more akin to a cellphone store than a flophouse full of degenerates is not something I think I’ll ever quite get used to. Still, I can’t help but feel for the street dealers left behind. My own guy, whom I do not refer to as any manner of “Guy,” has served me well for a good while now, delivering to my home and charging rock-bottom prices in comparison to those found at the dispensaries. It’s likely that, were it not for this gig, I’d still be going through him. Things being as they are, it’s time to bid a fond farewell to my weed dealer as we prepare to begin running cannabis criticism in this paper (watch for that to kick off next week). In keeping, I thought an exit interview of sorts would be appropriate. For obvious reasons, we won’t be IDing him, and we’ll be referring to him only as Mr. Nickname going forward. We spoke with Mr. Nickname about what he has to offer that the dispensaries do not, what his next plans are now that legal weed is encroaching on his business, and why he’d never make it as a budtender. What do you think of all of these

medical dispensaries horning in on your territory? I just hope their prices remain outrageous. That could help me. What is it that you have to offer that the dispensaries don’t? I’m not going to be giving you that fake fucking Guitar Center bullshit, you know what I mean? And you don’t need to show me any paperwork. You can give me a fake name! It won’t matter. I know that, prior to this, you spent some time driving a taxi, right before Uber came along and squashed that industry. And before that, you were trying to earn money playing music, just in time for people to stop purchasing physical media altogether. What’s next for you, as far as making money is concerned, now that they’re coming after your weed job? h, figure if start my own oil company I can save the world. Because they’ll come in and shut oil companies down. It’ll be like, “We don’t do that anymore.” Have you ever considered working as a budtender? Oh no, it sounds awful. I bet you can’t smoke cigarettes, I bet you can’t go outside whenever you want. I mean maybe; it sounds great and I’m sure I’d do a good job of it, but they’ll be like, “OK now,

when we’re at work, this is how we work at this place.” You know what I mean? And I’ll be like, “No, fuck you. I go outside and smoke cigarettes when I feel like it.” Have to worry about, “Oh man, hope I don’t have to poop.” It’s bad enough when somebody’s coming over to your house, but then it’s like, “This guy’s got to poop all the time, I don’t know. We should probably take some hours off his timecard.” What would be your pitch to keep people buying from you, the weed man, rather than going to a licensed dispensary? You know the money’s going to a good place: me and my animal friends. But that’s the thing, I don’t want everybody coming to me. I’m gonna make too much money that way, and then you start looking stupid and somebody is gonna be suspicious. So it’s like, I guess don’t come to me if you weren’t already. Unless, you know, maybe some more people. But I got a pretty decent thing going if everybody goes to me instead of the store — just the people I know. I’m not looking to be a store; that’s too much. That’s too much work. Keep an eye out for Tommy Chimchard’s new weed column, Reeferfront Times, starting next week.

What’s Up, Doc?

My DOCTOR couldn’t prescribe medical marijana for me — but someone I never met COULD

by Jaime Lees

eed culture disgusts me. I hate tie-dye. I hate jam music. I hate sandals. And I really hate Joe Rogan. Wow, do I hate Joe Rogan. That guy can fuck right off. But, man, cannabis really works for my chronic pain. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which is a disorder of the connective tissue. Basically, my collagen is faulty. As you’ve seen in many skin-care commercials, collagen is the glue that holds everything together — and mine sucks. My con-

RIVERFRONT TIMES

nective tissues are far too loose. This means that my bones fall out of joint and I dislocate constantly. My skin tears easily. I bruise frequently and impressively. My organs are prone to rupture. My everything wants to fall away from my everything else, basically. My body is unstable, unsettled and unhappy. As you can imagine, this is all very painful. Because of this, my doctors have been trying to get me to take opioids since I was a kid. I’ve always refused — for me it always seemed like the first step

APRIL 14-20, 2021

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into the abyss. When you have chronic pain and are on painkillers, medications often have to be increased until they’re maxed out. Meds also have side effects, and then those side effects have to be managed, and then they cause some other issue, and then your whole life becomes a never-ending loop of constant medical intervention and trying to balance everything. I don’t doubt that I will have to start taking opioids one day in the future; I’m just trying to put it off as long as I can. My doctors are

confused by me, routinely insisting that proper pain management with pills would increase my quality of life. But honestly, what do they know? They don’t live in my body; I do. And if I’d started taking their highly addictive pain medications when they wanted me to years ago, I’m positive that I’d be dead by now. So I’m putting it off as long as I can, damn it. But as my pain got worse with age, I realized that I had to do something. Never a weed smoker (type-A control freak, can’t chill), Continued on pg 15

MEDICAL WEED Continued from pg 14

my exploration into marijuana as medicine began as an adult just a few years ago. Marijuana worked for other people with EDS, so I gave it a try. And yep, weed works — and it doesn’t have any medical side effects. And it helps me sleep. And it stops my muscle spasms. It’s like a multi-functioning miracle substance. To this day, my cannabis consumption remains very low. Sometimes I don’t take any for months or a year, even. But when I really need it, it always helps me out. So when medical marijuana became a possibility in Missouri, I knew that I wanted to get registered. And because I have a whole team of doctors willing to prescribe me heavy narcotics, I thought getting approved would be easy. I was wrong. My doctors could prescribe me oxycontin, hydrocodone, codeine, morphine or fentanyl with ease, but none of them could get me signed up for medical marijuana. hy hey’re all affiliated with the same hospital, and the hospital has a rule against prescribing weed. I spoke with my primary-care doctor and asked if he’d prescribe marijuana for me if he was allowed. He said “absolutely” and called me an “ideal candidate.” But his hands were tied. I had to look elsewhere. So I went to track down a woman known as “Doctor Z” from the “CannaBus.” She’s a traveling doctor who has driven all over Missouri, licensing patients in boutiques and headshops. She’s famous in this state as the woman who can get you all set up, and quickly. As it turns out, she also has a wellness spa in Brentwood and often meets patients there, too. ocated on the ground floor of that tall Brutalist building across the street from Whole Foods is Dr. Zinia Thomas’ spa, called Radiance Float + Wellness (1760 South Brentwood Boulevard, 314736-4736). It’s just like many other spas in that it has a salt room and a float tank and it offers many treatments of dubious “new age” pedigree. It also has a small, tasteful cabinet of bongs for sale — but that’s the only indication that this place is involved with any cannabis business. I visited on February 14 last year, because the spa was running a two-for-one deal for Valentine’s

When traditional health systems balked at medical marijuana, alternatives emerged. | JAIME LEES

A small case of bongs was the only indication of the cannabis services. | JAIME LEES Day. Doctor Z usually charges about $125 for an appointment to get a license, but during this sale you could bring in your sweetheart and both of you could get licensed for just $160. The deal seemed too good to pass up. We didn’t know if we’d be met with crowds or a line or what the situation was, honestly, so when we got there we were relieved to find just a calm, mostly empty spa. We told the receptionist why we stopped in, and she handed us two iPads on which to fill out

our personal information and to answer about ten questions about our anxiety levels, because anxiety is the symptom that Doctor Z uses to prescribe. We answered honestly, without even a bit of exaggeration — it was a scary time in this country, so the truth revealed our high anxiety levels. Then we waited for the doctor. The receptionist said she wasn’t there at the moment but that she’d be in soon, so to kill time the friendly and accommodating employees offered us a tour of

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the small facility. When we were finished with that they let us hang out for a few minutes and then took us into a consultation room. Doctor Z did not show up in person, but on video. One of her assistants brought in an iPad and set it up in front of us. The doctor then gave us our consultation via video. During our video call, she explained to us how the system worked and what the next steps would be before asking if we had any questions. As impersonal as a video chat might seem, we both felt that she was kind and caring, so that was unexpected and nice. And then we were done. We received our papers from an employee and were then on our own to submit them to the state of Missouri for final approval. After years of hoping and praying that I could legally get my preferred medicine and being denied by the doctors who have known me for years, I was instead given permission to carry it from a doctor that I’d never actually met face to face. Was that it? Did this system really work? Was I getting ripped off? Did I just pay a good chunk of money for a piece of paper that would do me no good? submitted it to the state to find out. It cost about $25 for Missouri to process it (and you can send in a photo of your paperwork — you don’t even need to track down a scanner), and less than a week later, it was done. I got an email from the state of Missouri, logged back into my account and then printed myself my own card. They don’t send you an official card in the mail or anything, so it seems a little weird to print your own on a regular sheet of paper, but it does include your ID number and all of that on it. That’s it. That’s all it took. What my specialists and longtime medical professionals couldn’t get done for me was fi ed with just $80 and the equivalent of a quick FaceTime chat with your awesome aunt. Unbelievable. I’m grateful that there are doctors out there like Doctor Z who are paving the way. (And truth be told, they’re also cashing in. Massively.) It seems so messed up that I have to go to a stranger for a diagnosis to get a medicine that my doctor should be able to give me directly, but it’s not surprising — the entire health-care system in this country is beyond broken. You just have to find ways to make it work for you. The medical marijuana card system is very familiar: Pay your money, get your freedom. It’s just like everything else in America, really. n

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Life After a Life Sentence for Weed

JEFF MIZANSKEY interviewed by DANNY WICENTOWSKI

n 1994, when Jeff Mizanskey was sentenced to life in prison, the country was already several years into waging a meat-grinder drug war against its own citizens. In Missouri, courts locked away thousands on mandatory minimum sentences that could be triggered by anything from several pounds of cocaine to a joint’s worth of cannabis. Two decades later, Riverfront Times staff writer Ray Downs broke the story of Mizanskey’s shocking punishment in a 2013 piece, titled “How a Missouri Man Could Die in Prison for Weed.” But Mizanskey, the only Missouri prisoner serving a life sentence for solely cannabis-related drug charges, did not die in prison. Instead, his cause galvanized activists behind the state’s legalization movement — and in 2015, thenGovernor Jay Nixon commuted the 60-year-old inmate’s sentence, freeing him to face a world far different than the one he’d left. The former inmate became an activist, and he spent the next several years working on the campaigns that in 2018 led to Missouri voters approving medical cannabis through a ballot initiative. Now 67, Mizanskey is still working to further Missouri’s legalization efforts. He’s also a board memeber of the nonprofit ana Convict Project, which aims to aid “non-violent cannabis inmates with their release from prison” and reintegration into society. In an interview last week with the RFT, the icon of Missouri’s cannabis movement reflects on where he’s been — and how far Missouri has come. Responses have been lightly edited for clarity.

After getting out of prison, you spent years advocating for campaigns to legalize medical marijuana in Missouri. What’s your impression of the outcomes so far? Well, what I’d like to see is complete legalization on the federal level, or at least, at the very minimum, decriminalization. But peo-

Jeff Mizanskey was serving a life sentence for marijuana until he was freed. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI ple now are accepting it, they see that, since legalization, the sky hasn’t fallen, it’s not as bad as what we were all told it was. hey’re finding out how helpful it is for people that really need it for medical conditions. I think it’s a big step. It’s going to help a lot of our people — hell, it helps the arthritis that I have. And that’s great. But I think we still have a long way to go. You’ve had a chance to patronize some of Missouri’s new medical cannabis dispensaries. What was that like? was actually the first one here to buy legal cannabis in Pettis County. It was strange — I mean, after spending almost 23 years in prison for cannabis, and now all of a sudden I can go into the store right here? It wasn’t a mile from where I was originally arrested in 1993. I was almost afraid to go in the dispensary, you know, because everything in the back of my mind, the feelings come up when you walk into a place like that. I was thinking, “Oh my god, what am I doing here? Should I be here?”

so many years? I’ve been reading about them, since I would like to apply for a pardon to get my record clean. But there’s so much other stuff going on. I’m more worried about our brothers and sisters that are still in prison than I am with me — hell, I’m 67 years old, got cannabis on my record, and personally I don’t give a shit. But there are so many that are young people that are getting out that it makes a big problem with, because they do have to find jobs. You say that you’re waiting for full legalization to hit Missouri — are there any legislative efforts you’re backing in that area? I’ve not seen any bills yet that I’m totally happy with, but I doubt whether I’ll ever be with other people writing them. There has to be a way to help people to get out of prison. If the bill passes, you oughta be able to push a button and poof, let all these people

“It was strange — I mean, after spending almost 23 years in prison for cannabis, and now all of a sudden I can go into the store right here? It wasn’t a mile from where I was originally arrested in 1993.” You’ve had the chance to travel Missouri and other states as an activist and speaker. Do people still recognize you? All over the country. It’s kind of surprising when you’re somewhere that you’ve never been and people come up, “Oh, I know you,” and they come out with your name and start telling your story and start asking you questions. It’s kind of strange but good in a way. Hopefully, it can help hundreds, thousands of other people through the Cana Convict Project. What’s your takeaway from the recent actions of Missouri Governor Mike Parson, who has to date commuted the sentences of eight drug offenders sentenced under the same law that put you in prison for

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out, and their records are clean. I mean, just think of how much money just our state would save if we released prisoners that are being held on nonviolent crimes such as cannabis. Your journey has taken you from a prison cell to lobbying legislators. What do you see when you reflect on Missouri’s cannabis movement in the years since your release? It seems like we take three or four steps forward and one or two back, but we’re getting there. I believe there’s a lot more cannabis and hemp can give us. People are finally waking up to the fact, and I think it’s going to take time. I’m 67 years old. I hope I’m still here when it happens, but I think it’s on its way. n

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The List

Here’s where to BUY WEED by Daniel Hill

ell, it took long enough. Maybe it’s the mentally draining effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the way every single day of 2020 simply begged for some form of psychoactive escape. Maybe it’s that thousands of people across the state secured medical marijuana licenses as soon as they were available, only to see an entire year pass with no means by which to purchase legal weed in sight. Maybe it’s the fact that, yeah, this really did take a ridiculously long time. Whatever the case, weed lovers can rejoice: Medical marijuana dispensaries have finally, mercifully, begun opening their doors across Missouri after nearly a year of COVID-related delays. New grand-opening announcements are coming in steadily now, and a whole slew of dispensaries are just awaiting approval from the state to start peddling their wares. We’ve put together a list of the dispensaries that are, as of press time, currently open and selling weed in the St. Louis area, in order to help you, dear reader, have a very merry 4/20 this year. Have a look at those below, and remember to keep an eye out as more begin to open their doors — this thing is just getting started.

locations either currently open or in process in Missouri and Arkansas. t sells eighths of flower for between 9. 6 and 1.90 before tax at its Ferguson and St. Louis locations, with a stock that includes AK-47, Magic Melon and 1 , among others. dibles, pre rolls, vape cartridges and accessories are also on offer.

N’Bliss Dispensary

Multiple locations including Ellisville (15396 Manchester Road, Ellisville; 314-627-2699), Manchester (1266 Old Orchard Center, Manchester; 314-627-2499) nblisscannabis.com N’Bliss offers eighths for between .99 and 6 .99 before ta , as well as quarters for 109.99. Flower on hand includes Purple Trainwreck, Miracle Alien Cookies and Poontang Pie, among others. N’Bliss also offers the usual pre-rolls, edibles, accessories and vape cartridges found at most other dispensaries, but it additionally carries Gelato bubble hash at its llisville location for a cost of 9.99 per half gram.

Root 66 could be your doorway to another reality. | TOMMY CHIMCHARDS Miracle Alien Cookies at present, while the llisville one has that as well as San Fernando Valley OG. Both locations stock prerolls, vape cartridges, accessories and edibles, and the dispensary’s Grove location (4108 Manchester Avenue, 314-924-6503) celebrates its grand opening this Friday (April 16).

Captiva Healing

9933 Watson Road, Crestwood; 314-406-2604 captivahealing.com Captiva Healing bills itself as “a local family-owned medical marijuana dispensary that is passionate about serving the St. Louis community.” It sells eighths of flower for between and 60 before ta , with such strains as Bubba Fett, White 99 and th Dimension among its offerings. Captiva Healing also carries a large selection of prerolls — larger than most other dispensaries on this list — as well as edibles, accessories and disposable vapes.

Missouri Wild Alchemy

Swade Cannabis has two locations and is opening a third, designed to be its flagship, this week in the Grove. | COURTESY SWADE CANNABIS

Root 66 Cannabis

Multiple locations including Dogtown (6660 Manchester Ave, 314-282-7978), South Grand (3737 South Grand Boulevard, 314257-0816) root66cannabis.com Root 66 Cannabis bills itself as “your fast lane to the Midwest’s premier cannabis shopping experience.” At the time of this writing, its two locations are offering eighths of flower from 69.99 before tax, with strains including

Gorilla Pie, Purple Chem and Diesel Train on offer. Additionally, Root 66 carries a variety of vape cartridges, pre-rolls, edibles and accessories.

Greenlight Dispensary

Multiple locations including St. Louis (8542 North Broadway, 844-785-9333), Ferguson (517 South Florissant Road, Ferguson; 844785-9333) greenlightdispensary.com Greenlight Dispensary is a regional chain with nearly twenty

Swade Cannabis

Multiple locations including Ellisville (16075 Manchester Road, Ellisville; 314-924-6501), St. Peters (146 Jungerman Road, St. Peters; 314-924-6500) swadecannabis.com Swade Cannabis’ website dubs it “Missouri’s premiere luxury cannabis company, created to restore and enliven mind, body and spirit as one.” It is selling eighths of flower for 60 before ta , with a limited supply as of press time — the St. Peters store is stocked with

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2173 West Terra Lane, Lake St. Louis; 636-887-0977 missouriwild.com Missouri Wild Alchemy’s website describes the operation as “a small, local and family-owned business dedicated to providing Missouri medical marijuana patients with high-quality cannabis and education.” The shop sells eighths of flower for between and 6 before ta , with a selection of strains that includes Chem Scout, Sour Diesel and White 99. In addition to the usual slate of edibles, accessories, pre-rolls and disposable vapes, Missouri Wild also carries an assortment of crystals and cool rocks for staring at after you’ve ingested their products. n

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CAFE

[REVIEW]

Mashup Artists PiRico mixes Pi’s Italian fare and Gringo’s Mexican eats for a meal fit for the whole family Written by

CHERYL BAEHR PiRico 9900 Manchester Road, Glendale; 314-9423800. Mon.-Thurs. 4-8 p.m., Fri.-Sat. noon-9 p.m., Sun. noon-8 p.m.

any moons ago, well before my daughter was even a glimmer in the eye, I worked for an outrageous stage-actor-turned-lawyer who when he wasn’t surfing porn on his desktop — would gloat about his avoidance of minivans. A father of two young, car-seat-bound kids he carted around in his Lexus coupe, he’d take every opportunity to pontificate about the moral failures of anyone who’d choose to drive such a utilitarian vehicle. “Death before minivans!” was his actual battle cry, a phrase he’d utter at least three times a week. Sitting in the back of my 2019 hrysler Pacifica trunk popped open, third row seats folded flat and sipping a PiRico house margarita out of a pouch that is basically an adult Capri Sun, I couldn’t help but think of my former colleague and how sad he’d be to see such a scene. After all, I used to egg him on, assuring everyone within earshot that I, too, would never be a minivan sellout if I ever had kids. Yet here I was, a couple of decades later, embodying the very essence of what I once railed against. And I was loving every minute of it. The shift in priorities that happens when you have kids is so sudden and extreme, it’s almost too difficult to wrap your head around. But it’s so, so real. Chris Sommers brilliantly recognized this. Since founding Pi in 2008, he’s built his brand as a modern pizzeria — the place you go to for a night out to sit down, relax and enjoy interesting yet still accessible eats over a

Chicken tinga burrito with Mexican rice, refried beans, fundido cheese and crema. | MABEL SUEN

Rico chicken sandwich with hand-breaded chicken breast, signature “Rico dust” seasoning, chili oil, Valentina mayo and jalapeno-pickle relish on a potato bun. | MABEL SUEN pint or two of craft beer. Gringo, his Mexican concept, built upon that idea, but no matter how family-friendly his establishments may be, the thought of he and his wife packing up their three kids for a sit-down meal at a restaurant more often than not seemed like a special kind of hell. When Sommers, together with his longtime chef Cary McDowell, happened upon the former Filomena’s Italian Kitchen space in Glendale, something clicked. For a while, the two had been toying

around with the idea of combining the Pi and Gringo brands under one roof. With its carryout-friendly setup and drive-through, the Glendale location seemed not only tailor-made for that, but it also presented a way to retool their vision into a family-oriented restaurant utopia. The idea was simple: Have an accessible enough menu with a little something for everyone, make it easy to order, easier to pick up and delicious, and you’d be doing the Lord’s work. From that plan, PiRico was born.

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PiRico opened its doors this past October, and in just a few short months has shown that it is not only the perfect setup for a family, it’s equally ideal for pandemic dining. With its easy-to-navigate online platform and drive-through window, the restaurant is the gold standard of effortless, contactless carryout. Guests order over the Toast site (phone orders are also accepted), schedule a pickup time and receive a text message when their order is complete. Though the parking lot is small, there are enough spaces to accommodate any wait time if you arrive early; it’s also a great setup for popping the trunk and enjoying a little tailgate-inspired meal after you grab your order (credit for this idea goes to Sommers’ wife, Anne, who I must disclose is a dear friend). Even more beautiful than the ease is the food. Fans of both Pi and Gringo will be pleased that the new spot brings several favorites from both restaurants to Glendale. In fact, the menu is about a 50/50 split between Pi’s and Gringo’s menus, with new dishes created just for PiRico, such as the outstanding Brussels sprouts. The veggies are deep-fried and topped with caramelized onions and chorizo, its drippings forming a warmly spiced

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PIRICO

Continued from pg 21

sauce that coats the sprouts. Another new appetizer, the Rico-Cinis, are a genius marriage of Italian and Mexican traditions. In place of traditional risotto, the fried spheres are made from Spanish rice, then filled with chori o and cheese. hat this has been missing from our lives this long is unconscionable. PiRico builds on Pi’s repertoire with two new pi as. he Glendale pairs Brussels sprouts, caramelized onions and bacon with chipotle glaze, smoked gouda and mozzarella. he result is a gently smoked flavor brightened with verdant pesto. Another Pi ico specific pi za, the Rico Pi is like the Rico-Cinis, in that it plays on the marriage of talian and e ican flavors with its chipotle crema and refried beans base, seasoned ground beef, salsa, lettuce, pico de gallo, charred corn and mozzarella cheese. It’s like a seven layer dip in a sophisticated pizza form. he restaurant succeeds with more straightforward Mexicaninspired fare as well. he carnitas burrito is stuffed with succulent roasted pork, chorizo, rice and cheese; it’s like a glorious pork and

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Chef Cary McDowell and staff. | MABEL SUEN sausage melt. ften a throwaway dish at other establishments, PiRico’s chicken quesadilla is intensely flavorful the meat is tender and smoky, and the way it’s triple folded makes it like a multi layered pressed sandwich. qually successful is the new B.A.D. (Breakfast All Day taco, a filling mi of chorizo, egg, cheese, fries and accoutrements; it’s all the wonderful

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things about brunch in a warm flour tortilla. f Popeyes and hick fil A have been duking it out over their spicy chicken sandwiches, the Rico Chicken comes in for the . his behemoth between a bun is dusted in a spice blend, then dunked in chili oil for an extra punch. A jalapeño pickle relish both adds to the heat and cools simultaneously, adding one

more e traordinary layer of spice and flavor. his, alone, is worth a trip through the drive-through, but it’s not the restaurant’s only standout sandwich. McDowell created a e ican inflected double smash burger, gilded with gooey fundido cheese that soaks into every crevice of the meat, and topped with pickled jalapeños and crunch slaw to break up the richness. What’s even more outstanding about this burger is that you don’t have to modify it without the cheese and accoutrements to turn it into something your kid will eat. PiRico has a dedicated kids menu with all the classics, which means you can roll up, order a quesadilla for one kiddo, a burger for another, a side of fries for the one who won’t eat anything and a couple of margarita pouches for yourself. hat you don’t even have to get out of the car to do so is not just magical, it’s often a matter of survival. If this isn’t as unapologetically blissful as cruising around town in a roving living room, what is?

PiRico Rico-Cinis ............................................... $9.95 The Glendale pizza ...............................$19.95 Rico Chicken sandwich ......................... $9.95 • Carryout only / delivery only. Drive-through pickup window.

SHORT ORDERS

[SIDE DISH]

High Esteem Dave Owens’ fine confectionery background fuels his THC-infused Honeybee Edibles brand Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

hef Dave Owens doesn’t like to use the word “passion” when it comes to his longtime culinary inclinations and how he got where he is today. However, no matter what you call it, it’s clear that he was destined for food to be a major part of his life. “I feel like the word ‘passion’ is so overused,” Owens says. “Certainly, food was always an interest. As a kid, I was always cooking for my family and trying to make things out of whatever we had around, even if it was canned goods, like doctoring up Campbell’s soup to make it taste good. We were a big family — I was one of seven children — so there were always a lot of people around and meals at home. We never went out so much, so I think that’s where it started.” Now four decades into his culinary career, wens finds himself at the helm of the Honeybee Edibles ship, a venture from the soon-to-open Proper Cannabis (properbrands.com) medical marijuana company. For the veteran chef, the opportunity to apply his skills in an emerging industry is something that brings him back to his early cooking days, when the culinary field looked vastly different. As he explains, when he started out in the business, there weren’t a lot of opportunities for chefs, which was why his parents dissuaded him from getting into cooking as a career. “I always wanted to go to culinary school, but my parents told me there was no way I was going to be a cook,” Owens says. “They wanted me to be a doctor, so I went to school for pre-med and PT [physical therapy]. Once I decided I didn’t want to do that, I asked myself, ‘What now?’”

Chef Dave Owens is excited to bring his extensive confectionary background to Proper Cannabis. | SPENCER PERNIKOFF Despite his parents’ initial reservations, Owens got a job at the Sheraton hotel at Westport and enrolled in culinary school simultaneously. During school, he also participated in the American Culinary Federations’ apprenticeship program and worked under famed St. Louis chef and restaurateur Bill Cardwell, whom he credits with making everything click. “I started at Cardwell’s in 1989, when it had been open for a year and was really the hot ticket in town,” Owens says. “He really opened my eyes to what great food can be and using farmers as a resource, as well as the things we could get from local farms. I pretty much owe all I learned to him.” Owens worked for Cardwell’s until 2005, when he left and opened the acclaimed restaurant Terrine. After two years, he was approached by one of Terrine’s regular customers, the former owner of Bissinger’s, who wanted

to bring a culinary viewpoint to the chocolate company’s operations. Intrigued, Owens accepted the offer and became Bissinger’s chief chocolatier and VP of taste, helping the storied confectioner develop new products and maintain the brand’s quality, even as it expanded. When Bissinger’s sold in 2019, Owens looked for new opportunities in the confectionery space. Intrigued by the medical marijuana edibles market, he was in conversation with a cannabis group to join their team; when they didn’t get their license, Owens decided to go all in on his job hunt in the field, eventually landing with Proper Cannabis. He could not be more thrilled with where he ended up. “We’ve had so many great conversations about what we can do and what we want to become,” Owens says. “They’ve invested serious money into this, and I wouldn’t have come on board if I

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didn’t feel they have such a commitment to quality.” That quality is something that drives everything Owens is doing at Proper Cannabis. With his background in fine confections, wens and the Proper team are hoping to redefine what medical marijuana edibles can be by sourcing the finest ingredients and creating products that are delicious in their own right. “It’s a great tasting product that just happens to contain cannabis,” Owens says. Now that he is close to opening, Owens admits he has many sleepless nights. Between nailing down the recipes and navigating the state of Missouri’s complex web of medical marijuana regulations, he’s busy and stressed well beyond what a normal restaurant or confectionery opening would bring. Still, he wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. “There’s a lot of excitement in

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DAVE OWENS

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the marketplace,” Owens says. “I haven’t sold one thing, and I already have people coming to us saying they can’t wait to get our products. They want a more diverse selection, they want to have choices, and we’re going to be able to give that to them. These are exciting times.” Owens took a break from getting ready for Honeybee’s launch to share his thoughts on the St. Louis food and beverage community, one thing in the medical marijuana market he’d love to see and what has inspired him during the difficult past year. What is one thing people don’t know about you that you wish they did? I am a vegetarian of 30 years. What daily ritual is non-negotiable for you? Morning iced coffee. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Super strength. What is the most positive thing in food, wine or cocktails that you’ve noticed in St. Louis over the past year? How even under the adverse conditions over the year-plus, the food community continues to put out amazing food as well as helping others. What is something missing in the local food, wine or cocktail scene that you’d like to see? Cannabis cocktails. Who is your St. Louis food crush? My wife, Margaret Kelly. Which ingredient is most representative of your personality? Chocolate. If you weren’t working in the culinary field, what would you be doing? I think if I could work more closely with farmers, particularly those that grow cacao, that would be an awesome way to make a living. Name an ingredient never allowed in your kitchen. A bad attitude. What is your after-work hangout? Usually it’s home, but since starting work at Proper Cannabis, Global Brew has become a great spot — and you can bring your dog! What’s your food or beverage guilty pleasure? Probably Taco Bell. I worked there in high school and have a place for it ever since. What would be your last meal on Earth? With my wife, and it would include chanterelle mushrooms and tru es. n

Breakfast fare and new nighttime offerings are on the menu at the new location of Kingside Diner. | COURTESY KINGSIDE DINER

[CHESS MOVES]

Return of the King Kingside Diner reopens in new location, brings nighttime offerings Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

he Central West End’s most prominent patio is vacant no longer. Kingside Diner (236 North Euclid Avenue, 314-454-3957), the popular daytime restaurant, is now open at the corner of Euclid and Maryland, breathing new life into the heart of the neighborhood. Kingside Diner relocated from its original home just across the street and a couple of storefronts down from the new digs last week, taking advantage of the former Gamlin Whiskey House’s highly visible location and accompanying patio. The move also paves the way for the planned expansion of the Saint Louis Chess Club, with which ingside Diner is affiliated.

Fans of the beloved breakfast and lunch spot will rest assured knowing that favorite dishes like the Three Little Piggies croissant and the Meat Me in St. Louis skillet made the move across the way. However, owner Aaron Teitelbaum is especially excited that the new location allows him to offer evening hours, something he’s been wanting to do for a while. “Over the years, many customers have inquired about a nighttime service at Kingside,” says Teitelbaum. “We are very excited to finally offer it for them. Our new After Dark menus are unlike anything we’ve done before at Kingside. We will offer familiar nighttime favorites like chicken wings, pastas and steaks, as well as an extensive cocktail list — very exciting.” Executive chef Eric Prophete, who has been in charge of the culinary direction for both the Central West End and Clayton locations of Kingside Diner for several years, continues on in his role at the new spot. The expanded hours will allow him to offer more evening-oriented menu items like potstickers, Low Country shrimp and grits, and a Butcher’s Board featuring cheese, charcuterie and accoutrements. The new Kingside Diner features a full bar with specialty

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cocktails such as the Kasparov, made with Woodford Reserve bourbon, lemon juice, honey and ice tea, and the Zugzwang Burst, which pairs blueberry vodka with huckleberry syrup, sprite, lemon and Pop Rocks. Beer and wine are also available. Teitelbaum is as excited about the space as he is the food. He describes the inside of the restaurant as “open, bright and beautiful,” and says that it is “sexy at night.” He is also thrilled to have such a great patio, and, upon approval from the Central West End Neighborhood Association, he looks forward to bringing some really great offerings to the outdoor space. “We felt like not doing something at night would be a waste and be a disservice to the community,” Teitelbaum says. “The setup is wonderful. What we have planned for the patio is going to be epic if we can get it through. Now, we have two of the best patios in St. Louis between this and Herbie’s. When I think of it all, I am super blessed. We can’t wait to do all of it right.” Kingside Diner’s new Central West End location will be open daily from 6 a.m. until 2 p.m. for breakfast and lunch service, then will convert to Kingside After Dark immediately following daytime service. n

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[REOPENINGS]

The Buttery Reopens After Fire Written by

JAIME LEES

hen the Buttery (3659 South Grand Boulevard, 314-771-4443) caught fire on Christmas night, everybody in town assumed the

worst. The beloved local greasy spoon had long been a favorite of latenight drunks and morning pancake lovers, both of whom loved it for its baked-in “authentic” vibe. Nobody got the sense that there was a lot of money behind that type of business, and so everybody thought that a fire might mark the end of an era. But you can’t keep a legend down. The diner is back up and running and apparently has been for a couple of weeks now — though most people in St. Louis didn’t know because the Buttery doesn’t do advertisements and the company is firmly against keeping a social media page. So what has changed? Well, everything and nothing, accord-

The Buttery is back after a late 2020 fire. | VIA FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN ing to an employee we got on the phone. They said that the place was fairly destroyed during the process of getting the fire on the roof put out and that pretty much everything had to be gutted, from the walls to the electrical system. But the Buttery has been rebuilt to replicate its past glory and, honestly, from the pictures we’ve seen,

the new version looks eerily like the first version. he setup is almost exactly the same, from the worn booths to the too-bright lighting. The menu, likewise, is pretty much unchanged. The restaurant didn’t take the time away to give the menu an overhaul; it’s still almost exactly the same as it was before the fire, with just a few

[LANDMARKS]

Eat-Rite Gets New Owner Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

he Eat-Rite Diner is getting (another) second chance at life, and this time it’s through the ambition of local chef Tim Eagan, who announced last week that he plans to debut “a new food brand” at the squat square icon that has served generations of St. Louisans craving late-night slingers and coffee. Shawna and Joel Holtman purchased the downtown business in 2018, vowing to renovate and revitalize the struggling landmark, but only two years later, their efforts ended in a quiet closure

The longtime St. Louis landmark will embark on a new life soon. | VIA FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN in December. It was just one of several devastating closures of beloved St. Louis restaurants in 2020.

But while the diner became legendary for its grungy charm, the next version could see some changes to the classic spot.

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new items added and just a few old items removed. The employees are the same, too, with the daytime cook who has been working there for 45 years back on the job. The Buttery way seems to be “if it ain’t broke, don’t fi it and with the beloved diner back up and running, it’s almost like it never left. n In a Facebook post, Eagan wrote that he intends the new venture to include “a brunch focused diner concept” as well as a platform for his private chef business, prepared meals and catering. “I’m extremely excited to be a part of St. Louis history and excited to be able to share my food with all of you again,” he wrote in the post. “Here’s to the future!” Eagan tells the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that he’s targeting mid-May for reopening the diner to customers, and says that the menu will include options for “upscale comfort food” and his own takes on the classic slinger, as well as diner staples like biscuits and gravy. Still, agan clarified that he is planning on renovating some of the physical aspects of the beaten-up little shop, telling Fox 2, “I don’t want a dive.” Whatever happens, we’re just glad that Eat-Rite’s journey isn’t over. St. Louis just wouldn’t feel right without it. n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

O FR

NT TIMES PRE SE NT S

SATURDAY, APRIL 24, 2021 • CHASE PARK PLAZA 11:30 AM-2:00 PM RFT’S UNITED WE BRUNCH RETURNS FOR THE 6TH YEAR!!

There’s no better way to chase away a hangover than brunch with friends. And Riverfront Times is once again bringing together the best restaurants in town with one mission: unite to cure St. Louis’ hangover. In its 6th year, United We Brunch will be more than just bottomless Bloody Marys and Mimosas — enjoy screwdrivers, bellinis, Irish coffee, beer and more! Plus, all the best brunch hot spots in the St. Louis area under one roof.

EVERYONE IS VIP IN 2021!

VIP Gift Bag with Commemorative Glass • Brunch Tastings from more than 20 brunch hot spots Bottomless Bloody Marys, Mimosas, Bellinis, Screwdrivers, beer and Irish Coffee

Covid-Protocols: capacity will be significantly reduced, masks required when not consuming beverages/food, social distancing decals, tables spaced apart, individual hand sanitizer provided, and plexiglass between the restaurants and guests.

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CULTURE [ T H E AT E R S ]

Tivoli Theatre Sold to a Church Written by

JAIME LEES

he historic Tivoli Theatre (6350 Delmar Boulevard, 314727-7271) in the Delmar Loop is being sold to a church. Property developer Joe Edwards has owned the theater since 1994, but he handed over the keys to One Family Church, which has had a home just down the block in a floor of the Riverfront Times’ old office . In addition to leasing the Tivoli out to Landmark Theatres until COVID-19 hit, Edwards also rented out the space to One Family Church,

which has held Sunday services at the theater for the past decade. Pastor Brent oam of ne amily Church says that the theater will still operate through the week and rent to retail clients. In a news release, Roam said he’s “excited for the opportunity to provide retail space for vibrant and growing businesses on the Delmar Loop, and reasonably priced, exciting, and socially relevant films for students, families and film lovers from all over the St. ouis region, while also providing passionate and life giving church services on Sundays.” Along with being a pastor, Roam is a former actor with a long resume of B horror flicks. We’ll have to see how that background influences offerings on the Tivoli schedule, which in the past has included anything from John Waters movies to screenings of vintage D porn films to midnight showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Pastor Roam is aiming to start showing movies at the Tivoli this fall. n

The Tivoli Theater is now under new management. | VIA FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN

[ART]

Pipe Dreams St. Louis artist selling tile-covered “Sewer Pipe House” Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

rtist Jeanne Spezia never intended to actually live inside the massive sewer pipe she keeps on the side of her driveway. Covered in mosaic tiles and representing years of work, the eightfoot-long concrete pipe turned up on Facebook marketplace recently with an asking price of $100. The listing for a “Sewer Pipe House” has already attracted potential buyers. But in an interview with RFT, its creator explains that it had started as an idea for a kind of art gallery spread across a curved concrete canvas. “I wanted to make a mosaic sewer pipe that you could walk through,” Spezia says. “They delivered it on a flatbed, and just dropped it. They’re very heavy, about 13,000 pounds. “I tiled it inside and out,” she adds. “So

Jeanne Spezia, shown sitting atop the pipe as she covered its concrete surface with tiles. | JEANNE SPEZIA now it’s probably heavier.” Spezia says she purchased the pipe around 2013 and spent the next two years transforming it into something far more artful than its intended purpose. But the plan for a walkthrough art installation changed after she read about the Dasparkhotel in Austria, which uses converted city drainage pipes as cozy hotel rooms with “maximum comfort in a minimal amount of space.” She remembers deciding, “Let’s make ours a pod.” Spezia got to work, laying more than a thousand pieces of cut tile and turning

the dull gray concrete into a work of art while her husband framed the interior, installed a pull-down table and added a window on the other end. By the end, Spezia had covered every inch in tile. The interior is a nightscape complete with stars. On the exterior, one side shows a tree spreading its branches against a blue sky. The other features a close-up portrait of the artist herself. Spezia says she completed the work in 2015. The interior features a chalkboard finish to the new walls, allowing visitors to write or draw with chalk if they

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wish. Battery-powered lights illuminate the tiled night sky, and her husband added a frame for a bed. Not long after finishing the project, Spezia says she and her husband planned to spend the night on New Year’s Eve. That same night, her year-old dog escaped from an unlocked gate and, tragically, was struck and killed by a car. Years later, Spezia says it was that loss that brought the pipe to market. “I was in a hurry and didn’t close the gate that night, and I just can’t look at this pipe anymore, because it brings back that memory,” she says. “It’s been bugging me, and I just want to get rid of it.” So far, she says one prospective buyer is waiting for approval to move the pipe to his property. Another has offered to pick it up immediately, though she advises that any buyer will need a flatbed truck and “can’t just roll it out of here.” Still, she says the attention toward her Facebook listing has been gratifying, though it’s come at a time when she’s ready to give up the product of so much time and effort. “My husband could just destroy it, but my friend said that I could put it up on Facebook marketplace, and it’s already got some 6,000 views. It’s just funny,” she adds, “Nobody cared about it while I was on there doing it, but now that I’m going to get rid of it, everybody is interested.” n

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[FILM]

Simply the Best Tina Turner HBO documentary TINA pays tribute to a music legend Written by

JAIME LEES

ecently released on HBO, the documentary TINA aims to chronicle R&B legend Tina Turner’s ambition, her talent, her struggles and her rise to fame that all started right here in St. Louis. Born Anna Mae Bullock in Brownsville, Tennessee, Turner moved to St. Louis as a youngster. She started building a name for herself in high-energy local venues like the Club Imperial when she was only a teenager, after picking up a hot mic and singing with an established band when she was just seventeen. Though she was still in high school, Turner started performing every weekend, leading a dual life of both a schoolgirl and a glamorous entertainer clad in fancy dresses beneath fur coats. “I wasn’t thinking of, ‘I’ll go to St. Louis and I’ll start singing and I’ll be a star,’” Turner says in the documentary. “I was young. Naive. Just a country girl, and everything just opened up to me.” TINA follows Turner’s rise from St. Louis to superstardom. Beginning with her hit 1960 single “A Fool in Love,” Turner captured international audiences with her energy and authenticity. From that first ey, hey, hey, hey, hey, listeners knew that Turner was something special. Translated into secular culture, her roots in gospel and Baptist church music had Turner taking on the role of a naturally sexy soul revival preacher, which made her performances far more thrilling than many others’ during that time. While the majority of her peers were doing tightly rehearsed steps while singing, Turner danced powerfully and unpredictably, exploding like a firework on stage. “I was standing there watching her and saying, ‘Whatever that is, I want some of that,’” Oprah Winfrey says in TINA. “I got the spirit. It was no different than being in a church where you are moved

HBO’s new documentary tracks Tina Turner’s rise from a St. Louis teen to an international superstar. | HBO/OFFICIAL RELEASE POSTER and stirred to the point where you could feel it inside yourself.” After slaying audiences with performances of songs like “River Deep – Mountain High” and “Proud Mary,” Turner took some time out of the public eye before returning with one of the greatest comebacks of all time. By the 1980s, Turner’s ambition was still in full force, and she set her sights on a bigger goal: to be the first Black rock singer to sell out football stadiums. She even invented a whole new look to represent her new rock-babe persona, wearing her hair bigger and her skirts shorter. At age 1, urner scored her first (and only) No.1 on the Billboard Hot 100. “What’s Love Got to Do with It” off of her multi-platinum Private Dancer album also won a Grammy for Record of the Year. Her success didn’t end there, though: Turner went on to release many other hits including “We Don’t Need Another Hero (Thunderdome)” and “I Don’t Wanna Fight.” Her live concerts were mega productions, drawing in thousands each night and, yes, she did become the first modern Black rock singer to consistently sell out football stadiums. But then she executed a calculated fade from the spotlight. “Some people say the life that I lived and the performances that I gave, the appreciation is blasting with the people. And, yeah, I should be proud of that — I am — but when do you stop being proud?” Turner continues. “How do you bow out slowly? Just go away?”

The documentary team catches up with Turner in the present day as she reminisces about the past and the decisions she’d made regarding her life and career. She lives quietly now, in Switzerland, having given up her American citizenship after obtaining Swiss citizenship in 2013. Her home is opulent but homey, a light filled and peaceful place that looks like the perfect spot to spend one’s golden years. n the film, her husband called the documentary “a closure,” a way for Turner to bow out gracefully. She is reportedly facing serious health problems, and audiences get the sense that this documentary is her last attempt at telling her own story. Tina Turner’s life and career have always been described in terms of her relationship to men. Her misfortunes have always taken the spotlight when her personal strength, groundbreaking raw talent, incandescent performances and weighty contribution to the history of American music should’ve been the focus all along. Turner was introduced to a whole new generation of fans recently when her song “The Best” was featured multiple times on the Emmy Award-winning comedy Schitt’s Creek. It’s possible that these fans will want to know more about Turner and will search out the TINA documentary. From there, through videos of her old performances, they’ll learn what we’ve all known in St. Louis for decades: Tina Turner really is simply the best. n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

APRIL 14-20, 2021

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SAVAGE LOVE LETTER RIP BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: I’m a female in my late twenties. I broke up with a toxic ex about a year ago, and I’ve been walking around (my house!) thinking I was over it. I never missed him and rarely thought about him. A brief backstory: In the final months of us living together, we started having more discussions about children and making a lifelong commitment. He told me he wanted both, yet at this exact time his moderate depression became more severe and he refused to get help. I tolerated his cruel behavior because I knew how badly he was hurting. This ranged from icing me out to berating me and demanding I leave the home that we shared — my house — citing his need for “alone” time. One time he demanded I get up and leave in the middle of the night and go to a friend’s house! It’s worth noting the sex was mediocre at best, which I chalked up to him being a decade older. My self-esteem suffered. I finally left. Fast-forward to now. I find out he’s been dating a man. I can barely cope with the anger I feel about this. I feel like a casualty of his shame. We have progressive friends! His sister has dated women! His parents are accepting! None of the reasons you list as appropriate ones for staying closeted apply to him, Dan! His inability to accept himself caused me the most severe emotional trauma of my life and I just feel enraged. I logically know this is not about me. It’s about him. So why does this retroactively bother me so much? Part of me wants to say something to him, but I’m not sure that would make me feel better. I’d be very appreciative of any guidance you may have. Not sure what to think. Bitterly Enraged And Really Distressed I don’t want to add to your rage, BEARD, but that night he made you go to a friend’s house? It wasn’t “alone time” he was after. Dude was hosting. Before I tell you what to do about you rage, BEARD, there’s

something I wanna clear up: I don’t think having the opposite of everything your ex-boyfriend had — I don’t think having conservative friends instead of progressive friends, straight sisters instead of bi or heterofle ible sisters, shitty parents instead of accepting parents — are appropriate reasons for a grown-ass man in his 30s to stay closeted. When people are young and dependent on their parents, sure, having shitty parents and no support from friends or siblings is good reason to stay closeted in high school and maybe until after college. But it’s no excuse for remaining closeted into your 30s — and it’s certainly no excuse for using someone the way your ex appears to have used you, i.e. as a beard, BEARD. (Urban Dictionary: “The girlfriend or boyfriend of a closeted homosexual, used to conceal their homosexuality.”) Another thing I wanna clear up: There are lots of guys out there in their 30s and 40s and 50s and beyond who are good at sex, and lots of guys in their twenties who are mediocre at best. Alright, BEARD, you have every right to be angry. You put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, and if it turns out your ex is gay, well, that means he was lying to you and using you and wasting your time. It’s possible he’s bisexual, however, in which case he wasn’t being fully honest with you but may not have been using you or wasting your time. But gay or bi, your ex treated you very poorly, and the news that he’s dating a man now is making you reassess your relationship and his depression, to say nothing of that night he threw you out of your own apartment because he needed “alone time.” To look back on a relationship and think, “I did what I could and it didn’t work out but at least I tried,” is different than looking back and knowing, “Nothing I did could’ve made any difference and I was cruelly used.” I think there are two things you need to do now: Resolve never to make excuses for someone who treats you with cruelty again. We all have our moments, of course, but someone who can’t treat their partners with some modicum of respect and compassion even when they’re struggling isn’t in

To look back on a relationship and think, “I did what I could and it didn’t work out but at least I tried,” is different than looking back and knowing, “Nothing I did could’ve made any difference and I was cruelly used.” good enough working order to be in a relationship in the first place. And I think you should write him a letter and really unload on him. Tell him you’re angry; tell him why. You may or may not get a response — you may or may not want one — but you’ll feel better after writing the letter. And who knows? If he responds with a heartfelt apology, BEARD, you may feel even better. Hey, Dan: I live in Portland, Oregon, and I’m having the inner fight about whether to reach out to a person. I met a guy in early 2019 for what was supposed to be a onenight stand, but it turned into an entire-year stand. We hung out and hooked up, but he told me that he would never date me. In February of 2020 there was a snowstorm, and he asked me for a ride. I said yes, not realizing that I was picking him up from a girl’s apartment and driving both of them back to his place. He’d been staying with her for a week and told her that he knew me from work. We never worked together. That night he told me they weren’t dating and that she was just helping him study and that he didn’t want to see or hear from me ever again. He blocked me on all social media. Fast-forward to last Sunday. He texts me saying he wants to hook

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up. The next Sunday he texts asking me for pictures. I ask if he’s seeing someone else and he tells me that isn’t any of my business. We hook up. Now I feel guilty and don’t know what to do. His apartment has mysteriously improved. It’s like a girl has been staying there, and it’s most likely the girl from the snowstorm. I don’t know if I should reach out to this girl to tell her what happened. When we first started hooking up in 2019, he said we were exclusive. A couple of months later he said he lied about being exclusive and that I should go get tested. Clearly this is a pattern for him. Should I warn the woman he’s with now? I definitely would’ve appreciated it if someone had warned me about this guy in 2019. Himbo Utterly No Good Someone actually did warn you about this guy in 2019, HUNG: the guy himself, this guy, he warned you. He warned you about himself in 2019 and again in 2020 and yet again in 2021. Lying to you about being exclusive and potentially exposing you to various STIs in early 2019 was a warning. Manipulating you into chauffeuring him and his girlfriend back to his apartment during snowstorm in 2020 was a warning. Suddenly asking you to hook up in 2021 was a warning, and his defensive reaction when you asked if he was seeing someone else (“none of your business”) was a bonus warning. And despite all the warnings this guy gave over all three years, HUNG, you hooked up with this guy again anyway. Considering who this guy is and the way he treats people, HUNG, I can only imagine his new girlfriend has received — received and ignored — just as many warnings from him and about him as you did. So I don’t think you should waste your time getting in touch with the woman he’s seeing now, HUNG, as the odds she’ll take your warning seriously after ignoring all the warnings he’s most likely given her himself seem slim. Block his numbers, unfollow him on social, and for fuck’s sake don’t hook up with this asshole again. mail@savagelove.net @FakeDanSavage on Twitter www.savagelovecast.com

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

APRIL 14-20, 2021

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APRIL 14-20, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

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