Riverfront Times, January 13, 2021 by Riverfront Times

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JANUARY 13-19, 2021

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MARCH 6-12, 2019

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JANUARY 13-19, 2021

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THE LEDE

CHRIS WELSH (RIGHT): “I think we’ll listen to whatever message we can get and stand up for our president. Fight until we die. Because if he doesn’t win, there’s no real reason to live really. Not in a world that everybody knows what’s coming.” LESLIE WELSH: “I mean, everything that this country is based off of, they’re trying to take from us. I mean, God, guns, all rights.” CHRIS WELSH: “All of our rights.” CHRIS AND LESLIE WELSH OF ST. LOUIS AT A RALLY FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP AT THE MISSOURI STATE CAPITOL IN JEFFERSON CITY ON WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6, SHORTLY BEFORE PRO-TRUMP RIOTERS STORMED THE U.S. CAPITOL IN WASHINGTON, D.C. 4

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A Plea for Sanity

ast week, we saw a day that was as terrifying as it was preventable. The January 6 attack by right-wing extremists on the U.S. Capitol was the culmination of years of our political leaders speeding the spread of lies and distrust as if there would never be any consequences. But of course, there are consequences. Sen. Josh Hawley, possibly the most disingenuous politician I’ve ever covered, stands out in his willingness to drive people away from reason, but he had help. So this week, we’re publishing a centerpiece editorial that calls on those who incited last week’s mayhem to own up to the wreckage and step aside so we can rebuild. If they continue on the path they’re on, we know what will happen. We all saw it. We don’t want to see it again. — Doyle Murphy, editor in chief

TABLE OF CONTENTS Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Doyle Murphy

E D I T O R I A L Digital Editor Jaime Lees Interim Managing Editor Daniel Hill Staff Writer Danny Wicentowski Contributors Cheryl Baehr, Eric Berger, Jeannette Cooperman, Thomas Crone, Mike Fitzgerald, Andy Paulissen, Justin Poole, Theo Welling, Ymani Wince Columnist Ray Hartmann A R T

& P R O D U C T I O N Art Director Evan Sult Editorial Layout Haimanti Germain, Evan Sult Production Manager Haimanti Germain M U L T I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Advertising Director Colin Bell Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel Multimedia Account Executive Chuck Healy, Jackie Mundy Digital Sales Manager Chad Beck Director of Public Relations Brittany Forrest

COVER Josh Hawley, Show-Me Seditionist

C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

Missouri’s junior senator failed to overthrow the rule of law last week — but not for lack of trying Cover design by

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INSIDE The Lede Hartmann News Feature Short Orders Culture Savage Love 6

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HARTMANN Shades of Gray The McCloskeys show their true colors: white and whiter BY RAY HARTMANN

ey, everyone, what about Mark and Patricia McCloskey? Can’t you see the poor couple over there frantically waving their legal pads for attention? It’s so pitiful that these vile, rotten bottom feeders are being shunned from the spotlight right at the time they’re trying to do their patriotic best to inflict some more vile rottenness upon St. Louis and — certainly they hoped — the nation. Does anyone do pity anymore? Sadly for them, there was bare-

ly a murmur when the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported last week that Mark McCloskey is the attorney suing Villa Duchesne High on behalf of a white high school senior claiming she was the victim of racial discrimination. Imagine the McCloskeys’ disappointment when no one cared. To be sure, there is some news value — just for its bizarreness — in someone advancing the notion that an exclusive, respected and mostly white Catholic girls’ school in west St. Louis County has gotten itself into the business of discriminating against Caucasians. Those words were difficult to type with a straight keyboard. But contradictory as it may seem, we ought to pay a little attention to these waddling lawyer jokes in the context of the lawsuit filed against Villa. It is just so revealing of who they really are. When the world first had the misfortune of discovering the McCloskeys — and as we recoiled in horror at the preppy white-fashion

tragedy that was arguably as scary as their guns — it was not clear what made these people tick. They were just your garden-variety mansion dwellers next door brandishing firearms at Black people carrying signs on their street. As details have emerged over time, many of us have come to see them as deserving of the criminal charges filed against them by St. Louis Circuit Attorney Kim Gardner for unlawful use of their weapons. Others view them as citizens rightfully protecting themselves and their property from a perceived threat. There’s a court system to sort that out. The McCloskeys have topflight legal representation in attorney Joel Schwartz, who succeeded in getting Gardner knocked off Mark McCloskey’s case. And the couple has a right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty. It turns out that, as supporters of departing wannabe-dictator Donald Trump, they are also entitled in Missouri to pro bono representa-

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tion by state Attorney General Eric Schmitt who attempted to have the case dismissed on their behalf. That was unusual, but actually not as freakish as Governor Mike Parson declaring they would be pardoned, no matter what the evidence showed and no matter what some stinking judge or jury might decide. Why? Because Donald Trump’s the dang president, by God, and that’s how we roll. What’s easily forgotten is that in the immediate aftermath of their Sunday afternoon moment of infamy, the McCloskeys’ attorney at the time, Al Watkins, stated that the couple “have fought for the civil rights of clients for decades and support the Black Lives Matter movement,” according to a KMOV report. “You couldn’t have gone to central casting and asked for a more elegant home that will represent white entitlement,” said Watkins, admitting the optics are bad. But for good optics, Patricia

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HARTMANN

Continued from pg 7

McCloskey offered this: “We are Black Lives Matter people; it’s just the way they came in and were so aggressive,” she said, speaking off camera, according to KMOV. Now, it seems that the “Black Lives Matter people” have turned out to be “White Rights Matter people,” too. I suppose I should be grateful for that as a Caucasian who — like so many others of my race — have endured a lifetime of oppression based upon the color of my skin. But maybe not so much. In a strange way, the lawsuit filed against Villa by ark cCloskey is more revealing than the Victimization Victory Tour the couple rode to glory as stars of the Republican National Convention last summer. At the convention and in right-wing media moments, the two came off more like Dog Whistle People with regard to race but stayed pretty much within the normal boundaries of Republican talking points. Still, nothing says “this caucus is for us Caucasians” better than the way Mark McCloskey chose to portray the Villa case in the media. Mind you, this wasn’t a case of saying that he was simply representing a high school senior with a righteous grievance. No, McCloskey was really forthright about what was driving the case. “The goal is to stop the indoctrination of students with this critical race theory and to also make the community aware that even at Catholic parochial schools, this bizarre, racist, anti-racism is being force fed down the throats of their children,” McCloskey told the Post-Dispatch. Now there’s something to unpack. First of all, thanks for the heads-up about the bizarre, racist anti-racism. Lots of us have long suspected that wealthy private schools in posh suburbs secretly held deep resentments toward us white people. We’ve never quite been able to document it until now, but this does seem like a good start. For those of us disinterested in actually reading any McCloskey lawsuit — a percentage of the population roughly equal to “everyone” — the white-rights champion pro ided a fine perspecti e with which to regard the claim on behalf of his white high school client. It is that school officials discriminated against her by siding with Black students who called her a racist, accused her of say-

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Thanks for the heads up about the “bizarre, racist anti-racism” at Villa Duchesne, Mark McCloskey. ing “Black lives do not matter” in class, and threatened to attack her because of it. It also gives us a pretty good idea what to think of the claim that the private Catholic school in Frontenac discriminates against white students “by encouraging and facilitating race-based aggression” by Black students, unfairly disciplining students based on race and encouraging “the concept that all Caucasians are racist by virtue of being Caucasian.” Yes, at long last, someone to give voice to the oppression of us white people after centuries of our having been targeted with discrimination, aggression, unfair discipline and false charges of racism. Just when we were about to lose all hope that there ever could be racial justice in the world, here come the McCloskeys to save the day. Especially telling in McCloskey’s media narrative was the reference to “critical race theory.” As the Post-Dispatch noted, “Critical race theory is defined broadly as an ideology that identifies e amples of systemic racism. In September, President Donald Trump’s administration instructed federal agencies to halt racial sensitivity training that included ‘propaganda of the critical race theory movement.’” What a coincidence. Whiterights racial warrior Mark McCloskey just by chance invoked the same wonderful civil rights philosophy as Trump, “the least racist” president of all time. What’s more, we learned from the story that the McCloskeys’ own daughter, now 31, is a graduate of Villa. Or maybe that should read “survivor” of Villa, presuming, if we may, that she’s white. n Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhar tmann1952@gmail.com or catch him on Donnybrook at 7 p.m. on Thursdays on the Nine Network and St. Louis In the Know with Ray Hartmann from 9 to 11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

NEWS

Six Missouri Republicans Objected to Electoral Votes Even After Capitol Attack Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

hen police finally regained control o the . . apitol a ter pro Trump e trem ists stormed the building on anuary si issouri epublicans oted in support o the same conspiracy theories that inspired the iolent insurgency. The most prominent was en. osh awley who was the first . . senator to announce he would object to certi ying the results o the presidential election. espite recounts and more than court decisions dismissing resident onald Trump s debunked claims o widespread oter raud aw ley claimed he was obligated on behal o his constituents to object to the oting process specifically in ennsyl ania. n his way into the apitol on the day o the attempted coup awley was photographed saluting the same e tremists who would later o erwhelm apitol olice officers smash out windows and climb in side the building where they ran sacked ongressional offices and celebrated the insurrection. The group had become con inced despite all e idence that the presidential election has been stolen. It s a message that Trump

continued to peddle the morning o anuary . nd while a num ber o epublicans which notably includes ep. nn Wagner and en. oy Blunt o issouri chose to break with the president s un hinged claims and ote to certi y the elections awley and fi e . . representati es rom issouri objected once ongress resumed business that night. ere s the list o the issouri poli ticians who were among epub licans to object to certi ying otes in either ri ona or ennsyl ania en. osh awley ep. am ra es ep. Vicky art ler ep. Billy ong ep. Blaine uetkemeyer ep. ason mith Together they ollowed a path that was sure to ail but would score points with the ar right actions o Trump s base. awley was among just si senators who ultimately objected. ourteen had been e pected to object but the majority backed o . omething about being orced to take shelter rom a mob storm ing the halls o ongress seemed to ha e made most o the would be objectors reconsider. n

Cori Bush: Expel Congressmen Who Incited Capitol Terror Written by

JAIME LEES

worn in just two days before rioters stormed the U.S. Capitol, Congresswoman Cori Bush isn’t wasting any time when it comes to taking legislative action. In response to the deadly domestic ter-

Rep. Cori Bush | OFFICIAL PORTRAIT ror attack in Washington, D.C., Bush has introduced a resolution demanding the ex-

Sen. Josh Hawley. | OFFICIAL PORTRAIT

Rep. Sam Graves. | OFFICIAL PORTRAIT

Rep. Vicky Hartzler. | OFFICIAL PORTRAIT

Rep. Billy Long. | OFFICIAL PORTRAIT

Rep. Blaine Luetkemeyer. | OFFICIAL PORTRAIT

Rep. Jason Smiths. | AOFFICIAL PORTRAIT

pulsion of the members of Congress who “incited this domestic terror attack through their attempts to overturn the election.” Hundreds of pro-Trump rioters stormed the Capitol on January 6 as Congress gathered to count the electoral votes. The process of signing off on the presidential election results is usually pro forma, but some Congress members, such as Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley, had promised to object. Emboldened by their example and the soon-to-be-ex president’s debunked claims that the election was “stolen,” the insurgents overwhelmed Capitol Police officers as members of Congress, including Bush, were rushed to safety. Five people died in the chaos, including a police officer who was beaten by the intruders and

a woman who was shot by law enforcement as she and others in the mob tried to force their way into a secure hallway. Bush, who was newly appointed to the House Committee on Oversight and Reform, was still sheltering in place when she released details of her intentions and the draft of her resolution. From her press release: “The Republican members of Congress who have incited today’s domestic terror attack at the United States Capitol must be held accountable for violating their Oath of Office. I am prepared to do whatever it takes to defend our democracy. That’s why, as my first legislative action, I will be introducing a resolution to Continued on pg 10

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Missouri Jails Director Sued in North Carolina Abuse Case Written by

RYAN KRULL This story was sponsored in part by a Fund for Investigative Journalism grant.

issouri Department of Corrections Director Anne Precythe is one of ten defendants in a lawsuit brought by a woman who was repeatedly raped by her parole officer in orth arolina in 2015. Before coming to Missouri in 2016, Precythe was the director of Community Corrections for the orth arolina epartment o Public Safety. The plaintiff in the case was originally on probation in Virginia when she mo ed to orth Carolina to be closer to her family. Maud Ingram became her probation officer and made it clear that he would revoke her probation, sending her back to jail, if she didn’t have sex with him. Three years prior, the lawsuit alleges, Ingram had blackmailed another female under his supervision in a similar manner and instead of being disciplined was transferred and promoted. Ingram’s pattern of behavior continued until the plaintiff in this current civil case approached a lawyer for help. The lawyer contacted law enorcement and in the orth Carolina State Bureau of Investigation sent the plaintiff to a meeting with Ingram wearing a wire. Ingram was recorded instructing the plaintiff to pull her dress up. “Oh, I can’t see that pussy like that come on here,” Ingram was recorded saying right before agents entered the room and arrested him. He pleaded guilty to four counts of rape in 2017 and was sentenced to eighteen years. The current civil suit was filed a year later. “What happened to Ms. Roberts at the hands o her probation officer is not in question,” said Mere-

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Missouri Department of Corrections Director Anne Precythe. | MISSOURI DOC dith Hubbard, the attorney representing the plaintiff in the current civil suit, which is making its way through ederal court in orth Carolina. “It is undisputed that he took advantage of her and forced her to do horrific things. The only thing at issue in this lawsuit is whether his supervisors can be held accountable for his actions.” Ingram is one of the defendants in the suit. The other nine defendants are the individuals charged with supervising him, ranging from his direct boss all the way up to the person in charge of the entire DPS. b iously the probation officer at the bottom of this organizational chain directly committed these acts,” Hubbard said. “But it was the ones up above who we would argue knew or should have known that he might be prone to do something like this. He’d been investigated for similar behavior before.” As the director of Community orrections or the orth arolina DPS, Precythe was in charge of an agency whose mission, according to its website, is to provide “meaningful supervision to offenders on probation, parole or post-release supervision” and “reach an equal balance of control and treatment for offenders that will positively affect their behavior and lifestyle patterns.” The suit alleges that Ingram’s bosses were “grossly negligent” and “reckless” in their hiring and supervision of Ingram. At the time that the rapes occurred, the suit alleges, he was on a “poor performance review plan,” which meant that his cases were to be reviewed

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every week. The suit claims, “Reasonable supervision would have revealed a history of abuse, misconduct and unfitness to ser e as a probation officer. At the time of Ingram’s misconduct, Precythe was in charge of 2,500 employees, including Ingram. filing made by the de ense states that, “As a result of the size of Community Corrections and her areas of responsibility, she relied heavily on her assistants and the chain of command to manage day-to-day matters and to superise officers in implementing and enforcing policies…Before this matter became a full-scale investigation Precythe had not heard of Maud Ingram” or the plaintiff. Precythe began her career with

EXPEL REPS

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call for their expulsion from the House of Representatives under the Fourteenth Amendment. No person should be serving in Congress who is actively working to undermine the rights and freedoms of the American people as afforded to us by the Constitution.” From the draft of her resolution she entered on Monday: “Directing the Committee on Ethics to investigate, and issue a report on, whether any and all actions taken by Members of the 117th Congress who sought to overturn the 2020 Presidential election violated their oath of office to uphold the Constitution or the Rules of the House of Representatives, and should face sanction, including removal from the House of Representatives.” It’s no surprise that Bush has shown

the orth arolina epartment o Corrections in 1988 as a probation and parole officer. he worked her way up in the agency to eventually become director of Community Corrections in 2013. Two years later Attorney General Eric Holder appointed recythe to the ational Institute of Corrections Advisory Board. The following year thenMissouri Governor Eric Greitens hired her as the Director of Missouri Department of Corrections. The de ense counsel in the orth arolina ci il suit has filed a motion for summary judgement, arguing that the case should be dismissed as a matter of law and not go to a jury. The plaintiff’s attorneys have responded, and both parties are waiting for the judge to rule. The MODOC did not want to comment on pending litigation. Missouri’s prison system had its own problems during a raucous beginning to 2021. A riot occurred on ew ear s e at ary ille Treatment Center, a minimum security prison in the northwest part of the state. Between 20 and 25 inmates destroyed a housing unit and administration office a ter becoming intoxicated. Injuries to staff and offenders were minimal but according to one individual familiar with the incident, property damage was extensive. Rioters broke windows, toilets and sinks, pulled security cameras from walls and sprayed fire e tinguishers in the mailroom and other offices. n Ryan Krull is a freelance journalist and assistant teaching professor in the department of communication and media at the University of Missouri-St. Louis.

grace under fire during this difficult and high-stress situation. In addition to being a registered nurse and pastor, Bush’s interest in politics was sparked when she volunteered as an organizer and triage nurse during the Ferguson uprising in 2014. Now, less than seven years later, as a member of Congress, she drew comparisons to the violence faced by Ferguson protesters at the hands of police and the soft-touch response to the largely white insurrectionists who flooded into the nation’s Capitol this afternoon as police gave way. In addition to calling for the expulsion of some Republican members of Congress, she is also “calling for the immediate impeachment of Donald Trump & his removal from office.” Bush tweeted this of Trump and his enablers: “Their actions must have consequences.” n

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REPRESENTATIVE BILLY LONG

REPRESENTATIVE BLAINE LUETKEMEYER

STATE REPRESENTATIVE JUSTIN HILL

ATTORNEY GENERAL ERIC SCHMITT

SENATOR JOSH HAWLEY

REPRESENTATIVE VICKY HARTZLER

REPRESENTATIVE SAM GRAVES

REPRESENTATIVE JASON SMITH

SECRETARY OF STATE JAY ASHCROFT

Some of the Missouri officials who aided and abetted the presidentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s anti-democratic and anti-American path to an insurrection at the U.S. Capitol

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EDITORIAL

We Deserve Better than Josh Hawley and the Show-Me Seditionists BY DOYLE MURPHY

JUST HOURS after giddy pro-Trump rioters walked

out of the ransacked, blood-spattered U.S. Capitol, Sen. Josh Hawley emerged from hiding and found a microphone on the enate floor. The 41-year-old had been aiming at this moment for days. Alarming even members of his own party with his grandstanding, Hawley had been the first senator to announce he would object to certifying the results of the presidential election. He is a slippery weasel, so he couched his complaints in a convoluted argument about “irregularities” in Pennsylvania’s voting process. He knew that his target audience — people who had been conned into thinking the election had been stolen — would hear “massive voter fraud” without him actually saying the lie himself. It was classic Hawley. He has spent his political career feeding and prodding a monster, baiting our country’s ugly elements of racism, distrust, division and paranoia. It is a risky game, but he has shown confidence in his ability to dance away ahead of the carnage. But that day in the Capitol, the monster had broken free. Conspiracy-addled men and women whom awley had saluted with a raised fist on his way into the building had later overrun the barricades and swarmed the halls of Congress. After years of fantasizing online about a violent insurgency, they attempted to carry it out in real life. n the enate floor the night o the attempted coup, Hawley was a short walk from where a woman had been shot dead by Capitol Police during the mayhem hours before and where the intruders had beaten police officers one so badly he later died. Another woman in the MAGA group was reportedly trampled in the chaos. A man had a fatal heart attack, and two others died of what authorities described as medical emergencies.

It seemed for a moment that Hawley, standing at that microphone in the midst of such wreckage might finally reckon with the conse uences of stoking insanity to its predictable explosion. He appeared a shade paler, his voice a touch shaky. But after a brief tsk-tsking of the violence, Hawley reached into his soul and found only a gooey ball of pomade and tooth whitener. “A word about Pennsylvania, which is a state that I have been focused on, objected to, as an example of why people are concerned, millions of Americans concerned about our election integrity,” he said. A word about Pennsylvania? A state — and not the state of Missouri — you have been focused on uring his fi e minute speech awley traced a twisty path away from the bloodshed to an argument that he had been right all along to play wingman to Trump’s dangerous conspiracy theories. Hawley had an opportunity that night to show the world what he so desperately wanted us to see a leader a man o conse uence a man who has the mix of intellect, gravitas and compassion to be president. Instead, we saw only a man who desperately wants to be president. We deserve better than him. And we deserve better than all the other Missouri politicians who made the same decision to put ambition over service. Embarrassingly, tragically, our state has played an outsized role in driving forward mind-melting false narratives. Hawley, through his position and skill at self-promotion, became the leading man of the farce, but there were plenty of other actors. Continued on pg 14

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SHOW-ME SEDITIONISTS Continued from pg 13

The cost to our state and our country was to further unmoor people who have grown dangerously paranoid. We saw how that played out on January 6, and every politician who humored their constituents’ QAnon affinities and goaded them further away from reality bears responsibility.

Remember that Missouri Secretary of State Jay Ashcroft spent the lead-up to the election in an underhanded fight to kneecap e orts that would have made it easier to vote by mail during the pandemic. t the same time he amplified the idea that sending ballots through the mail was inherently risky — a key tenet of Trump’s lies about mass voter fraud. The result was a ridiculously confusing system for sorting out who could vote when, where and how. It undoubtedly kept people, particularly in traditionally disenfranchised communities, from casting ballots. For Trump and his followers, that was always the point. After the election, we saw state Attorney General ric chmitt bragging about filing legal briefs in support of two crackpot lawsuits intended to overturn the election results in battleground states won by President-elect Joe Biden. “The integrity of our elections is of critical importance to maintaining our republic, both today and in future elections,” Schmitt said in one of his press releases. “The stakes of protecting our Constitution, defending our liberty and ensuring that all votes are counted fairly couldn’t be higher. With this brie we are joining the fight. Seventeen other states’ attorneys general joined chmitt in one o his headline seeking brie s and nine joined the other. No, Missouri was not one of those battleground states being challenged. And no, neither Schmitt nor any of the other attorneys general who signed on had any evidence of mass voter fraud in the election. The only fair conclusion is that Schmitt did it for the attention. Maybe it seemed to him like a harmless stunt, gi en that the cases had ero chance o actually overturning the election. But insinuating that the integrity of our elections, our Constitution and our liberty are in peril added weight to a lie. If the attorney general is concerned that votes have been compromised, there has to be something to it, right? The payoff for Schmitt was political points with Trump’s base, a group that is of obvious value if he does as expected and runs for governor. The cost to our state and our country was to further unmoor people who have grown dangerously paranoid. We saw how that played out on January 6, and every politician who humored their constituents non affinities and goaded them urther away from reality bears responsibility.

osh Hawley and his fellow dressed-up traffickers in madness such as chmitt and Ashcroft, tend to work the line of plausible deniability. They avoid saying outright that there was massive voter fraud. Instead, they employ cowardly passive rhetoric. They are “concerned.” They have “questions” about our election process. They are just doing their duty to investigate their constituents’ doubts, they assure us. They conveniently omit that one of the main reasons their constituents harbor these doubts is that their elected representati es are fine with scaring them or profit. Others are less subtle. U.S. Rep. Jason Smith prefers full-on Trump fanboy. On January 5,

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the day before rioters rushed into the Capitol, he posted “STOP THE STEAL” on Facebook atop a graphic that included false claims of fraud in the presidential election. “Donate here to FIGHT back and PROTECT our constitution!” the post said, along with a link to an online fundraiser for Smith, which added, “We must defend the Constitution and protect fair and free elections.” The day after his fundraising post, he was there when rioters breached the Capitol and raced around like raging pirates. Smith later wrote an account of being on the floor o the ouse when the mayhem began. e describes hearing gunfire and the killing o Ashli Babbitt, the Air Force vet and Trump supporter who was shot by Capitol Police as she and a mob of intruders tried to smash their way into a secure hallway. I had to walk past her body as bra e officers worked frantically to get innocent people to safety,” Smith wrote. If you’re curious if Smith felt any responsibility for what happened at the Capitol, you need only read the introduction to his account. “Over the past year, we have seen violent protests spread throughout our country, and over and over, those who committed violence were not held accountable. In fact, when the statue of Christopher Columbus was torn down this past summer in Baltimore, Speaker Nancy Pelosi shrugged it off as ‘people will do what they do,’” Smith wrote. “This lack of accountability undoubtedly contributed to the shameful display this week in the United States Capitol building.” It is worth noting that the rioters, a mob that had rallied around a gallows erected just outside the Capitol, were heard shouting for Pelosi to be delivered into their hands. But sure, it was Pelosi’s fault, and if you agree, you can donate $5 or $10 or $20 … or $500 to Jason Smith for Congress. Or more if you’re a real patriot. The link was still up as of this writing. Smith and Hawley were among six Missouri epublicans eps. Vicky art ler Billy ong Sam Graves and Blaine Luetkemeyer were the others who oted to object to the election results, even after white supremacists wearing shirts that celebrated the Holocaust went office by office looking or politicians. They oted against a free and fair election hours after thugs beat police officers with the poles o merican flags and paraded the onderate flag through the halls. And if they had a duty to be there as our federal representatives, the same can’t be said for state Rep. Justin Hill (R-Lake St. Louis) who infamously skipped his own swearing-in ceremony to join the rally o deniers in Washington . . In a January 5 Facebook post explaining his decision, he described it as “one of the most important days of my life.” Hill had previously tried to pass a resolution in our state legislature to say Missouri’s elected representatives “have no faith in the validity” of the presidential election results in battleground states that Trump lost. In a letter introducing the stunt, he wrote that “our constituents have voiced concerns over the integrity of our national elections” and that it was his duty and the duty of his fellow lawmakers to demand investigations in ri ona eorgia ichigan e ada Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.

“If we fail to act and fraudulent votes change the outcome of the Presidential election, Missourians are harmed,” Hill wrote. “We are the Show-Me State. Let us demand other states show Missouri that fraud did NOT change the outcome.” The word “if” is doing some Olympic-level lifting in that statement, given that Hill had no evidence of mass fraud, nothing that credibly suggested secretaries of state, attorneys general, election officials and e en judges appointed by Trump were wrong in dismissing claims of fraud. But through Hill’s efforts, our state held a hearing. Ex-New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani even beamed in by video as part of his ongoing campaign of misinformation. Sixty-six Republican lawmakers signed on, but the resolution ultimately fi led when it ailed to reach the full House for a vote. So whydoes it matter if a state rep wants to go through a charade like that? It matters because it becomes part of the political and cultural vortex. Trump stirs the atmosphere, and politicians such as Hill begin to swirl. The constituents whom Hill claims to care so much about find themsel es bombarded from all sides with bad information. They lose their bearings in the spinning. And before long, all they can hear is the roar of a man-made twister of lies about voter fraud, stolen elections and a country under attack. Hill says he attended Trump’s speech in Washington, D.C. Our old friend Giuliani was there, calling for “trial by combat,” and Donald Trump Jr. warned any Republican Congressmen thinking of going against the president to expect to be challenged in their primaries: “We’re coming for you.” The president had previously told his supporters to go to the rally. “Be there. Will be wild.” Onstage January 6, he repeated a lot of those same lies Missouri lawmakers have backed. He praised Hawley by name and told the thousands in the crowd to march on the Capitol. “We’re going to walk down to the Capitol, and we’re going to cheer on our brave senators and congressmen and women, and we’re probably not going to be cheering so much for some of them, because you’ll never take back our country with weakness,” Trump said. “You have to show strength, and you have to be strong.” espite promises to join the group at the apitol Trump returned to the safety of the White House. In a Facebook post condemning the violence that followed, Hill says he also peeled away from the crowd, heading off for lunch before the march began. He says he was still eating when he heard the sirens. “It truly is sad that such a peaceful event can turn bad so quickly,” he later wrote. “Resorting to violent measures takes away from those that want to see honest debate, investigation, and deliberation regarding election integrity. It is also quite obvious to me that bad actors will take adantage o any protest to throw uel on a fire.

n Saturday in St. Louis, there was another rally. undreds o people filled orth Broadway in front of the Old Courthouse to call for Josh Hawley’s resignation. “Resign, Hawley!” they chanted from far out of earshot of their senator’s new home in Virginia. “Resign, Hawley. You don’t even live here!” They too were angry and frightened about the

future of our country. They too are constituents o our elected officials but awley is not listening to them. Eric Schmitt is not going to issue a mea culpa for supporting baseless claims. Jay Ashcroft is not going to admit it was wrong to hamstring access to voting during a deadly pandemic. Jason Smith isn’t going to exchange “Stop the Steal” for “Black Lives Matter.” And Justin Hill is not going to put everything on hold to travel here to protect the “integrity of our elections.” The politicians who gave credence to the lies that launched a violent mob through the shattered windows of our nation’s Capitol like to retreat into “the customer’s always right’’ shield for their worst behavior. They like to say they are just carrying out the will o their constituents when they demand investigations they know are baseless. They are only asking questions posed by the people of their districts. If their constituents believe a batshit conspiracy they learned about in Hour Three of a YouTube binge, who are these humble servants to intervene, right? Hawley retreated into this familiar safehold on the night of January 6 when he and his colleagues returned to the enate floor. ll through the building, the scattered papers of trashed offices the bootprints o murderous white supremacists and the blood of the dead served as fresh reminders of what rhetoric without principle had wrought. There was literal human feces on the walls of the Capitol left by people who cheered awley s raised fist that morning. “For those who have concerns about the integrity of our elections, those who have concerns about what happened in November, this is the appropriate means, this is the lawful place where those objections and concerns should be heard,” Hawley said, pretending to claim the moral high ground. Behind him, ruining the visuals of Hawley’s moment in front of the camera, sat an exasperated Sen. Mitt Romney, glaring at the back of issouri s junior senator s head. Romney is the kind of guy who has found himself on the outside of Trump’s Republican Party. As Hawley’s star has risen in the emerging galaxy of fanaticism, Romney’s has cratered for the sin of occasionally opposing the president. That night, when it was his turn in front of the microphone, he explained to the country what politicians such as Hawley are too cowardly, too “ambitious” to admit. “For any who remain insistent on an audit in order to satisfy the many people who believe that the election was stolen, I’d offer this perspective: No congressional audit is ever going to convince these voters, particularly when the president will continue to say the election was stolen,” Romney said, his voice rising toward his point. “The best way we can show respect for the voters who are upset is by telling them the truth.” Hawley will not do that. So he should listen when his constituents take it upon themselves to tell him the truth. He should listen when they say they don’t want his brand of politics anymore. Or maybe he should just read it. They le t him a note painted in giant yellow letters there in front of the Old Courthouse. It read: “RESIGN HAWLEY.”

All through the building, the scattered papers of trashed offices, the bootprints of murderous white supremacists and the blood of the dead served as fresh reminders of what rhetoric without principle had wrought. There was literal human feces on the walls of the Capitol left by people who cheered Hawley’s raised fist that morning.

Doyle Murphy is the editor in chief of the Riverfront Times.

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SHORT ORDERS

[SIDE DISH]

Food Trends DD Mau owner Julie Truong doesn’t regret shifting from fashion to the food business Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

ulie Truong feels fortunate. Though things haven’t exactly been easy, business at her Maryland Heights restaurant, DD Mau (11982 Dorsett Road, Maryland Heights; 314-942-2300), has been relatively steady since the COVID-19 pandemic hit the St. Louis area in March. Granted, she’s had to make some serious adjustments, like closing her dining room, but because she was already set up as a takeout-friendly fast-casual spot, she didn’t have to completely rethink the restaurant’s business model. Plus, her loyal customers aren’t lining up for lunch like they used to, but they are making a point to grab takeout frequently. Still, there is one professional loss she mourns more than anything. “I miss seeing my customers,” Truong says. “Before this, I was always out talking to my customers, so I miss seeing their faces. Now, I get excited just seeing them coming in to pick up to-go food because I miss them so much. I know them. I know their lives. Three years in, you gain such a relationship with people.” Navigating pandemic-related challenges was not how Truong thought she would have been celebrating DD Mau’s three-year anniversary. A former fashion industry professional, Truong left a successful career to pursue her dream of opening a restaurant that honored her Vietnamese heritage — and thanks to hard work and a natural knack for cooking, she’s been living that dream. Thankfully, the coronavirus hasn’t taken that away. “The good thing for us is that our food is still good as takeout,” Truong says. “It’s almost the same — not the pho because people want to sit down and have that — but

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Julie Truong has learned to go with the flow at DD Mau. | MABEL SUEN it’s been much easier for us than it has been for sit-down restaurants who have had to get very creative because their restaurant is built as much on atmosphere as the food. For us, the lunch rush just isn’t there anymore, and business just isn’t the same, but on the other hand, we’ve gained new customers from people on delivery platforms looking for food around them. Fortunately, it’s balanced out.” Truong knows she is lucky compared to her fellow hospitality professionals. As a fast-casual restaurant, she’s been able to operate with little change in her business model. Still, she can’t help but wonder what the future will look like in the face of longterm changes to the industry and whether it will ever return to the way it was before the pandemic. She lives in a state of uncertainty and has learned to become comortable in going with the flow

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and yet, she’d do it all over again. “I’m very happy that I made the decision to do the restaurant thing,” Truong says. “I love connecting with my customers, even the way I have to do so now. Giving awesome food to the community and and relationship building is my number one thing. This is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life to be independent and do what I feel is right.” Truong took a break from the line to share her thoughts on the state of the restaurant industry, the importance of supporting the places you love and how, especially right now, a little kindness goes a long way. As a hospitality professional, what do people need to know about what you are going through? We will all get through this TOGETHER! Supporting small local business is very important right

now; this is the time we need you all the most to stay afloat. n the other hand, supporting chains are good, too! We just need to support the food we love so it doesn’t go away. What do you miss most about the way you did your job before COVID-19? I miss seeing everyone’s beautiful faces and catching up with everyone during lunch and dinner rushes. What do you miss least? What I won’t miss is the increase of delivery problems we receive! Sometimes the food doesn’t make it to where it belongs. What is one thing you make sure you do every day to maintain a sense of normalcy? Being in the restaurant business, there’s no choice to work from home, so going to work every day helps me maintain a sense of normalcy.

What have you been stress-eating/drinking lately? I’ve been eating everything under the sun, but currently, I’m obsessed with plantain crisps from Trader Joe’s. When I order out, I always order Chinese food (I’ve been sampling Chinese food throughout St. Louis) or Kickin’ Crab. When it’s a home-cooked meal kind of night, I’ll make ribeye and lobster — two of my favorite things. What are the three things you’ve made sure you don’t want to run out of, other than toilet paper? Masks! I have a pack everywhere I go. Chips. I need chips everywhere I am too, most importantly in my car. I’m always running around, so having a nice snack in my car is crucial. Nespresso pods — everyone needs coffee. You have to be quarantined with three people. Who would you pick? I would pick my fianc ndrew so he can take care of me, Gordon

DD Mau’s food is still delicious as takeout. | MABEL SUEN Ramsay so I can learn so much from him (plus I hope he will cook

all my meals), and Celine Dion so she can sing for me.

Once you feel comfortable going back out and about, what’s the first thing you’ll do? I will immediately book a flight to Las Vegas and go to the Wynn casino buffet. Soon after that, I will make my way to Hawaii to eat more. What do you think the biggest change to the hospitality industry will be once people feel comfortable returning to normal activity levels? I feel like people will continue to be cautious of the space and surroundings when dining in at restaurants. I feel like it will take about another year in order to get back to normal within the hospitality industry. To-go orders will still be very important to the business. What is one thing that gives you hope during this crisis? Just seeing people supporting everyone. Acts of kindness are all around and it’s so important right now. n

[FOOD NEWS]

Stellar Hog Closes South City Spot Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

ot a week into the new year, any hopes that 2021 will be better for St. Louis restaurants have been dashed in the form of some sad news for barbecue fans: The Stellar Hog (5623 Leona Street, 314-481-8448) is closing its Holly Hills location indefinitely. The restaurant announced the news in a Facebook post, citing the pandemicrelated loss of revenue as the reason for its closure. “5 years ago we opened the Stellar Hog; today we will be closing indefinitely,” the post reads. “Unfortunately we cannot keep operating at a loss and have exhausted all our funds.” Alex Cupp, a former fine-dining cook who got his start in professional barbecue at Adam’s Smokehouse, opened the Stellar Hog with his dad Alan in 2016. The pair had recently purchased the iconic Holly Hills bar, Super’s Bungalow, and it wasn’t long before they were earning as much of a reputation for the brisket coming out of their smoker as the icy Busch beer being

Alex Cupp at the Stellar Hog. | MABEL SUEN served from the century-old watering hole. As their barbecue project grew, the Cupps invested in the space and outdoor patio, turning the Stellar Hog into one of St. Louis’ best barbecue restaurants. They continued that investment even as the pandemic raged, redoing the patio’s service area and putting in an outdoor bathroom in anticipation of increased demand for outdoor dining. Unfortunately, business failed to meet their expecta-

The south city bar and restaurant became a barbecue destination. | MABEL SUEN tions, and they were forced to make this difficult decision. The news is not all bad for the Stellar Hog, though. As the Facebook post notes, the Cupps do not consider this a permanent closure, but rather an indefinite one. Signing off with a “We will see you again soon,” the post teases that this is not the end for the south city location. Until then, fans of the Stellar Hog can rest assured they will still be able to get

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their barbecue fix: The Cupps are currently moving forward with their plans for a location in Chesterfield, which should open in the next few weeks. In the meantime, the restaurant will continue to offer catering services for those who need a taste of Cupp’s outstanding smoked meats. “We have a lot of questions with no answers, but we do have Hope, which we will hang onto as tight as possible,” say the Cupps. n

JANUARY 13-19, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

CULTURE

[VENUES]

Showstopper The Pageant presses pause on live music again due to COVID-19 Written by

DANIEL HILL

he Pageant (6161 Delmar Boulevard, 314-726-6161) is once again closing its doors in response to rising VI positi ity rates in the St. Louis area. The news comes ia a post on social media. “Goodbye 2020! (don’t let the door hit you in the a** on your way out the post reads. But first we want to take a minute to thank everyone that helped pull off our Glimmer Of Normalcy series. ll the bands all the ans and our sta we couldn t ha e done it without you ow we re going to take a little break and wait or the worst o o id Winter to pass. aise a glass to we ll see you soon The break comes a ter what could be called a successful run o shows under the most difficult o circumstances success ul o course being a relati e term in times of increased costs and decreased capacities. The celebrated local venue spent months closed completely after the novel coronavirus upended the live entertainment industry in arch only finally reopening its doors in September for its Glimmer of Normalcy series. VI is ery real. I you re not com ortable coming to a show we get it talent buyer obert climans said at the time. But i you are ready to try seeing live music again gi e us a shot That series o shows eatured increased sanitization and safety measures to slow the spread o VI and to pre ent concert attendees and staff from getting infected. The Pageant’s slate of precautions were among the most strict in the city including a mask mandate en orced social distancing and even a prohibition on standing or dancing at your seat.

RIVERFRONT TIMES

The Pageant’s owners don’t expect to reopen until late February at the very earliest. | VIA FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN In all it amounted to a relati ely sa e time and a way or bands fans and staff alike to get back to something that resembled their regular routines. A number of St. ouis finer acts took ad antage of the opportunity to perform on the Pageant’s stage — albeit for a much smaller crowd than usual capped at only 336 people — including Beth Bombara the treet ighting Band ake s eg and o course a whole slew o shows by ink loyd tribute act l onstero. But with VI positi ity rates at dangerous highs the club s ownership decided it was best to press pause. We don t want to be acting like e erything is wonder ul managing partner Pat Hagin tells the Post-Dispatch. “We’re trying to do the right thing. The pandemic is just getting worse. There s not much justification or doing something now. It s time or our country and world as a whole to pull back and hunker down. The ageant s owners currently ha e no concrete plans as to when it will open again agin says late ebruary or early arch at the earliest. The ne t show listed on the enue s website is a per ormance by Canadian indie pop act Walk the arth in ebruary but if the last ten months have taught us anything it s that plans

JANUARY 13-19, 2021

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can change at any time. egardless o when we re looking orward to celebrating the ageant s twenty year anni er-

[CLOSURES]

The Risks of Exposure Long-running east-side strip club P.T.’s Centreville has closed permanently Written by

DANIEL HILL

.T. s entre ille a staple of the east-side strip club scene or some years has closed permanently. The strip joint made the news o ficial through a social media post last week. It is with a ery hea y heart that we announce that T s entre ille will not reopen the post reads. This was not an easy decision or one that we wanted to make. We want to thank you all for the love and support you have

sary upon its return. ure that technically came in 2020 — but if any year has e er warranted a do o er it was that one. n shown us or o er years. The closure appears to be due to VI restrictions. The club has not been open since ctober when it announced on social media that it would resume operations “once the Governor says we can reopen back inside at normal hours again. nd that would be temporary closure comes after a string of similar ones as infection numbers ha e ebbed and flowed o er the last ten months. P.T.’s Centreville initially closed at the start of the pandemic on arch with a cheerful note saying they’d be ready to party in TW weeks Those weeks stretched into months as ownership e perienced the same uncertainty as the rest o us and apparently the same iewing habits as a sign appeared in front of the club in April blaming the closure on arol uckin Baskin. .T. s finally reopened on une . But the esti ities were short li ed and by mid ugust Illinois o ernor .B. rit ker responded to higher rates of positivity in the area by releasing new guidelines or the southwestern portion o

The east side strip club scene has lost another anchor. | VIA FLICKR/BRH_IMAGES Illinois stating that all bars — including strip clubs — must close by 11 p.m. to match the closing time in St. Louis. “Thanks to the Governor’s one si e fits all approach we will be closed until we can open past p.m. reads a post on the club s Facebook from that time. “To put it simply we are heartbroken that it has come to this. Please visit our sister club Diamond Cabaret St. ouis in the meantime. We will see you all when the o ernor lightens up. “ The last days of P.T.’s came in October. The club reopened on ctober with the resumption o late night hours closing each night well into the a.m. But that reopening would pro e e en more short li ed with management shutting the doors again on October 28. They’ve been closed e er since and according to last week s news they will remain that way permanently. It s yet another blow to the east side s storied strip club scene which has seen the closures o some of its longest-running and most well known strip joints in recent years long be ore VI stepped into the fore. .T. s lassic the Brooklyn based club that was owned by the same group that owns .T. s entre ille closed its doors in ctober rebranding as Black agic an urban club catering to Black customers which also closed shortly thereafter. The ollowing year the ink

It’s yet another blow to the east side’s storied strip-club scene, which has seen the closures of some of its longestrunning and most well-known strip joints in recent years. lip which had operated in Brooklyn or some years unceremoniously ceased operations as well. The wet and wild o y s owned by the same group that helmed both .T. s locations ollowed suit in 2018. But though that may seem like a lot of closures in a short time — and to be air it is there s still no small amount of debauchery to be had just across the ri er as .T. s owners make clear in their arewell note. Take care that note reads and be sure to visit our sister clubs ountry ock abaret and iamond abaret t. ouis when they are permitted to reopen inside n

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JANUARY 13-19, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

JANUARY 13-19, 2021

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SAVAGE LOVE CUM AGAIN BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: As you can see by my signature, Dan, I’m a linguist. On your podcast you frequently ask researchers “whatchyougot” on all kinds of sex- and romance-related questions; I thought maybe you’d be interested in some expertise on linguistic matters too. And I have some on “cum,” “cumming” and (shudder) “cummed.” The technical term here used among linguists for this kind of phenomenon is “peeve.” Let me clarify, it’s not the “cum,” “cumming” and “cummed” that’s a peeve but the shuddering. You see, the snide sound there is due to the fact that what causes peevers to shudder causes linguists to get interested. The point is language always changes, and linguists are interested in these changes, however much they horrify normal people. (That’s our technical term for non-linguists.) Grandparents are forever lamenting how their grandchildren’s generation is ruining the language. Documentation of this phenomenon goes back to the Roman times. And indeed, generations upon generations of grandchildren turned Latin into Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese, Romanian, Catalan and a host of lesserknown forms of ruination. In terms of the sticky substance at hand (or on hand), cum as a verb and cumming are just alternative spellings, which are common enough for slang. It’s slang! You really gonna insist slang follow uptight and buttoned-down spelling rules, Dan? That’s just stoopid. Cummed is more interesting — and also causes peevers to shudder — because it’s a real change in the language. But why shudder? Why not appreciate it instead? “Cummed” shows us how creative we are with our language, how we play with it, and in this case do something useful, differentiating the sublime “got off” (climaxed) from the banal “got there” (arrived). Don’t fall into useless peeving, Dan! You’ve famously instigated language change. Just ask Rick Santorum, your former college roommate, or the men who’ve cummed and cummed hard while a nice vagina-haver pegged their ass. Michael Newman

Professor of Linguistics and Chair Department of Linguistics and Communication Disorders Queens College/CUNY Thank you for taking the time to write, Professor Newman, and please forgive me for peeving you. But the sticky issue for me — if you’ll pardon the expression — remains the seemingly unnecessary and arbitrary use of an alternate spelling in this one instance. As I’ve said before, no one is confused when someone calls a person a “dick” in print and then goes on to wax poetic about the dick they sucked in the next sentence. If we don’t have to spell it “dik” when we’re referring to male genitalia — or the genitals of penis-havers — I don’t see why “come” needs to be spelled “cum” when referring to someone climaxing or when referring to ejaculate. Of all the words out there with more than one meaning — dick, dong, cock, pussy, beaver, box, crack, rack, sack — why does this one require special linguistic treatment? Hey, Dan: Interesting take on cum ... as your column ventured into linguistics. How do you feel about “tonite” for “tonight” or “lite” for “light”? Inquiring minds want to know. Commonly Used Mutated Spellings I made inquiries at the website of the world’s best dictionary (and best drag name) Merriam-Webster, CUMS, where I learned tonite is “a blasting explosive consisting of a mixture of guncotton with a nitrate” and lite means “made with a lower calorie content or with less of some such ingredient (salt, fat, or alcohol) than usual.” So you can have dinner tonight and wash it down with something lite, CUMS, but don’t have tonite for dinner unless you want to light yourself up. Hey, Dan: I basically agree with your views about spelling the verb as “come.” However, I think one could be a bit more nuanced about usage here. “Come” is rather polite and could easily be used in a romantic context (“Oh god honey I’m about to come”) whereas “cum” has a definite “let’s fuck” feel to it (something not unheard of in your column). Different contexts call for different styles, perhaps. I would also like

to make an outright exception for the substance “cum,” which I feel should always be spelled with a “u.” For the noun, using the “u” hardly seems vulgar at all. One might wonder why cum seems more appropriate for denoting semen. I can think of two good reasons. First, “cum” evokes “scum,” which matches the feelings of some (benighted) people that cum is slimy and disgusting. And secondly, the final letters “um” occur in some medical terms — all nouns — which relate to sex, like pudendum, scrotum, rectum, flagellum, perineum. Context Matters Hmm … I agree that an alternate spelling when referring to ejaculate could be helpful, CM. But context also provides clarity. If a man and/or penis-haver says, “My come was everywhere,” no one thinks his/her/their orgasms are Jesus Christ or dark matter — literally everywhere throughout the universe — but rather that he’s/she’s/they’re exaggerating about the volume of a recent orgasm to make a point about the intensity of pleasure he/ she/they derived from it. Hey, Dan: I’ve been a copy editor for 15 years and a Savage Love reader for much longer. I wanted to chime in on fellow Canadian COME’s letter about the “come” vs “cum” spelling. I fully agree that as a verb, it should be “come” and “came/coming” instead of “cummed/cumming.” But there is a place for “cum”: as a noun when referring to the actual gooey substance (a.k.a. semen, ejaculate, spunk, etc). Consider the sentence, “I have come in my mouth.” Are you announcing an act of autofellatio (talk about a cumblebrag!) or are you describing a substance someone else left behind? Or, “How did come get on my jacket?” Doesn’t that just look like a mistake? Millennials love turning nouns into verbs (adulting!), but I think using “come” as a noun is incorrect. And what about describing something as “cummy”? How would you spell that? Comy? Comey? Perhaps we can all come together on this: “come” for the verb of achieving orgasm; “cum” for the noun that describes the resulting emission. Copyeditor Uses Modification For A Noun Your argument convinced me, CUMFAN. If everyone else agrees to

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use “come” for the verb, I can swallow “cum” as a noun. The copy editor carries the day! Hey, Dan: You were close with your advice to Cabin Fever, the man whose teenager was derailing his sex life, but it was still a miss. Instead of telling his kid to “take a fucking walk,” per your advice, he should use the moment to teach. As you said, Dan, even teenage boys realize that happy-and-still-in-love parents are a good thing. So instead of being confrontational, CF and his wife could laugh and pay their son the compliment of being honest: “We enjoy sex but we don’t enjoy it with you in the next room any more than you enjoy hearing it.” Then come up with someplace for him to go for a few hours that HE wants to go to and make it happen. By being upfront they’ll be modeling healthy adult behavior and a healthy and adult approach to problem solving. This is truly an opportunity for good parenting. Mom And Dad Are Fucking While I did advise CF to tell his kid to “take a fucking walk” when mommy and daddy wanted to peg, I expected CF to approach that conversation in a tactful and constructive manner. That said, due to the pandemic, there aren’t many places for a kid to go when his parents are fucking. A walk, for now, may be their best option. If CF’s family doesn’t already have a dog, perhaps they should get one. To my readers: There are more important things happening in the world right now than disputes over sexual slang, I realize, but I hope today’s column was a welcome and fleeting distraction rom the news. I am following the news and reacting in real time on Twitter, if you care to hear what I have to say, and like all sane people everywhere I am equal parts furious and mortified. onald ucking Trump and every last one of his coconspirators in his family, in his administration and in Congress belong in prison with every last traitor who stormed the U.S. Capitol last week. Impeach the motherfucker again and indict all the motherfuckers already. mail@savagelove.net @FakeDanSavage on Twitter www.savagelovecast.com

JANUARY 13-19, 2021

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JANUARY 13-19, 2021

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JANUARY 13-19, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

SWADE

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CANNABIS COCTORS US

GET YOUR MEDICAL MARIJUANA CERTIFICATION FROM ONE OF OUR QUALIFIED DOCTORS Cannabis Doctors US started in Maryland in 2017. We have 6 locations in Maryland. We opened our first office in Missouri in 2019, and have since opened these additional St. Louis area offices: 111 Church St. in Ferguson 3006 S. Jefferson Ave. Suite 104 in St. Louis 9378 Olive Blvd. #312 in Olivette 222 S 2nd St. Suite LL in St. Charles 8135 Manchester Rd. in Brentwood All of our doctors are board certified to give patients a medical evaluation for medical cannabis

recommendation and certification, it’s the only thing we do. We also now offer secure Telemedicine (Video), that is HIPPA compliant. If you can’t leave home due to transportation, disability or health issues, you can call us or email to make a Telemedicine appointment. Once the restrictions are met, certification will be issued immediately. Please inquire for more details. Learn More: cannabisdoctorsus.com 314-222-7760 or 888-420-1536

Riverfront Times, January 13, 2021

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