Bluebaron 01 fcbweek digital 300

E! FR E KEEP BACK, BULL! HE WON’T LISTEN TO REASON! THE BLUE BARON HAS GONE

INSANE!

© 2018 The Henry Farm, Inc

22 pa ge so fa we so me act ion !

fre ec om i cs

we ek edi tio n

It's TV you read!

SITCOMICSTM PROUDLY PRESENTS:

EPISODE ONE “EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN!”

WRITTEN BY DARIN HENRY PENCIL ART BY RON FRENZ INK ART BY SAL BUSCEMA COLOR ART BY GLENN WHITMORE LETTERED BY MARSHALL DILLON COVER ART BY RON FRENZ CHARACTER DESIGNS BY DARIN HENRY & RON FRENZ

THE BLUE BARON™ IS

ALL CONTENT SUITABLE FOR ANYONE ALLOWED TO WATCH BROADCAST TV AFTER 8PM.

Sitcomics™ Presents The Blue Baron #1 (FREE COMIC BOOK WEEK EDITION) January 2018. Published by Sitcomics™ 171 Pier Avenue, #207 Santa Monica, CA 90405 All contents Copyright © 2018 by The Henry Farm Inc. All Rights Reserved. The stories, characters and incidents mentioned in this magazine are entirely fictional. No actual persons, living or dead, are intended or should be inferred. More information at www.Sitcomics.net or at www.facebook.com/Sitcomics Follow us @Sitcomics

The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania East Pennsboro Township October 1776

TONIGHT, MR. BISHOP, YOU WILL PERFORM AN INVALUABLE SERVICE TO YOUR KING.

WITH YOUR HELP... ...sip...

...WE SHALL AT LAST DETERMINE WHICH END OF THE RIFLE IS MOST EFFECTIVE FOR EXTRACTING INFORMATION. WHAT-WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

A MASKED OPERATIVE IS GIVING AID TO YOU COLONIAL VERMIN. MY SPIES CLAIM THIS INDIVIDUAL POSSESSES MIRACULOUS ABILITIES.

“IT IS SAID HE STRIKES MORE SWIFTLY THAN A JANUARY GALE.

“WITH STRENGTH THAT ECLIPSES A TEAM OF OXEN.”

“HE CAN SUBDUE AN ENTIRE ROYAL PLATOON WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE LIFE.”

HALT OR BE--

HALT!

“ONE INFORMANT EVEN CLAIMED HE SAW THIS SUPER-SOLDIER FLY.”

THAT POOR CHAP HAD TO BE RELIEVED OF HIS DUTIES. ...sip...

WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?

IT SEEMS THIS---EH?

GO AND SEE WHAT THOSE FOOLS ARE DOING!

AS | WAS SAYING, THIS “MASKED MIRACLE MAN” WAS LAST SEEN IN THE COMPANY OF YOUR SISTER SARAH. DO YOU NOT FIND THAT TO BE SUSPICIOUS, MR. BISHOP?

YES, MOST AMUSING. YOU MAY FIND YOUR HUMOR QUELLED ONCE | BURN THIS BARN TO ASHES...

WITH YOU STILL INSIDE IT.

NO...BUT SARAH’S HUSBAND MIGHT.

REMIND ME NEVER TO INVITE YOU ‘ROUND FOR TEA!

THE

BLUE BARON DARES.

EH? WHO DARES?!

FORGIVE ME FOR NOT SHAKING YOUR HAND, COLONEL. BUT ONCE WE STAND OUTSIDE | WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO SHAKE THE REST OF YOU.

242 YEARS LATER...

| HAVE THE HIGHEST GPA IN SCHOOL, | SPEAK FOUR LANGUAGES, | CAN BEAT COMPUTERS AT CHESS...

FASCINATING.

WOULD YOU GUYS PREFER TO DISCUSS LAST NIGHT’S EPIC HEROES UNION SMACKDOWN?!

YET | STILL MUST CANNOT ASCERTAIN WE DISCUSS IT, WHAT TYPE OF MEAT SALIM? IT’S BAD THEY ARE PUTTING IN ENOUGH WE HAVE THESE TACOS. TO EAT IT. MINE TASTED FINE.

H.N.N. SHOWED THE WHOLE THING LIVE! TEAM TOXIC STOLE A BUNCH OF TOP SECRET CHEMICAL STUFF FROM A LAB DOWNTOWN.

NO! DON’T SPOIL IT! | HAD PIANO SO MY MOM DVR’D IT! ZIP IT, LEAKEY! WHAT HAPPENED, ERNIE?

“THEY GOT MAYBE TWO BLOCKS, TURNED A CORNER AND WOUND UP FACE TO FACE WITH--”

ERNIE! NO TV UNTIL YOUR HOMEWORK IS DONE!

LIVE

HNN

QUICKLY, FOOLS! THE GETAWAY IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE EASY PART!

EAK-IN

CHEMICAL WAREHOUSE BR

UH, JUST A SECOND, DAD!

BULL

GOOD EVENING, LOOPHOLE. | TRUST YOU HAVE A RECEIPT FOR THOSE TOP SECRET FORMULAE...?

THE BLUE BaRON

PROTÉGÉ STaRTUP

Ra|DER

THAT’S WHEN THINGS GOT KIND OF DICEY. NET TOOK OUT PROTEGE WITH HIS ELECTRO-NET! IT’S PAIN TIME, PRETTY BOY!

“AND LOOPHOLE USED HER MUTANT POWERS TO NULLIFY RAIDER’S STRENGTH.”

“WHILE BULL AND BLUE BARON GOT BLINDSIDED BY TWO OF GROSS’S VOMIT COMETS! ”

HERE’S GUNK IN YOUR EYE, HEROES!

“WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE, STARTUP SWOOPS IN WITH A LEFT HOOK.”

UGH!

AI DIOS MIO!

SENDING LOOPHOLE DOWN FASTER THAN A DRUNK GUY ON AN ICY SIDEWALK!

JUST STICK TO THE FACTS, SHAKESPEARE!

“THE H.U. WAS TOTALLY ON THE ROPES!” “STARTUP THEN TURBO ZOOMS INTO NET, BOUNCES OFF HIM AND BASHES GROSS.”

WHAT?!

NO!

“ONE ROUNDHOUSE KICK LATER - BATTLE OVER, BABY!”

IF THE SHOE FITS...

TASTE IT!

HNN

LIVE

NO WAY! THAT’S STARTUP’S THIRD FIGHT FINISH THIS MONTH.

FOURTH! THANKS TO HER, | NOW LEAD MY FANTASY HERO LEAGUE.

BET YOU REGRET PICKING BLUE BARON IN THE FIRST ROUND NOW, HUH, LEAKEY?

NAH, HE’LL BOUNCE BACK. BLUE BARON’S AWESOME! OH YEAH. NOTHING SAYS AWESOME LIKE ROCKING THE SAME PAIR OF UNDERWEAR FOR 300 YEARS! FACE IT, LEAKEY--

THE BLUE BARON BELONGS IN A MUSEUM, NOT A-‘SUP, WORMIE?!

Uh, Ernie...!

SLATER! LOOK WHAT YOU DID! THAT’S IT!

|’M GONNA--!

...YOU’RE GONNA WHAT, WORMIE?

|’M GONNA. |’M GONNA...

AW, JUST FORGET IT.

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LAY OFF ME, SLATER? I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO DESERVE YOUR ABUSE!

WHOA! KILLER COMEBACK, DUDE! NO WONDER YOU’RE SO POPULAR! OH, WAIT--YOU’RE NOT!

UNTIL NOW. GUESS WHOSE MAMA IS CHAPERONING YOUR CLASS FIELD TRIP TODAY!

| COULDN’T RESIST A CHANCE TO VISIT CARSON CORP’S TESTING LABS AND--ERNIE! YOUR PANTS ARE SOAKED! | KNOW, MOM. | HAD AN UH, ACCIDENT.

WELL, FEAR NOT, MISTER! YOUR MAMA STILL STASHES CLEAN UNDIES IN HER CAR. | LEARNED THAT LESSON IN YOUR PRE-SCHOOL DAYS! OH, ERNIE, TODAY’S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!

Please be a dream. Please be a dream. Please be a dream.

ERNIEKINS!

WE HEROES EXPEND CONSIDERABLE RESOURCES ACQUIRING EQUIPMENT WITH WHICH TO HONE OUR COMBATIVE ACUITY.

TWO HOURS LATER!

EXCELLENT SHOT BY THE WAY.

| AM IN YOUR DEBT, LIQUIDATOR!

YET DURING OUR TUSSLE TODAY, | HAVE RECEIVED BOTH A ROBUST WORKOUT AND STIMULATING CONVERSATION--

--ALL WITHOUT COSTING ME A CONTINENTAL.* *AMERICAN MONEY CIRCA 1776. - EDITOR.

IT SEEMS OUR TUSSLE’S END IS NIGH, LIQUIDATOR!

IT’S ABOUT TO COST YOU YOUR LIFE, SUCKER!

YES, PERHAPS MY USE OF THE WORD ‘STIMULATING' WAS A TAD ILL-JUDGED!

DUDE, | PASSED NIGH FIVE PUNCHES AGO.

AND STOP CALLING THIS A ‘TUSSLE’!

YOUR ACID IS DOING CONSIDERABLE DAMAGE TO THE MIKADO’S SKYBASE, LIQUIDATOR!

OF COURSE, THE FACT THAT SHE ABANDONED IT AND YOU SUGGESTS THAT NEITHER OF YOU FIGURE INTO HER IMMEDIATE PLANS.

GREAT BLAZES! WHAT DEVILRY IS THIS?!

THE MIKADO CALLED THIS HER MATTER SCRAMBLER! YOU WANNA SEE HOW IT WORKS?

LOOKS LIKE SHE ABANDONED SOMETHING ELSE TOO!

STEADY, LIQUIDATOR. STEADY. DON’T DO ANYTHING FOOLISH.

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE

THIS!

THIS NEXT PART ALWAYS MAKES MY EARS POP. OH, AND | ADVISE YOU NOT TO SCREAM. UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ENJOY THE TASTE OF BUGS.

HOLEE, SH--!!

WELCOME TO CARSON CORPORATION’S SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH CENTER.

|’M MAX MAZUMA, CARSON’S V.P. OF OPERATIONS AND AWESOMENESS. IF YOU LIKE SCIENCE, ENJOY THE TOUR. IF YOU LIKE TECHNOLOGY, ENJOY THE TOUR. IF YOU LIKE WANDERING OFF...FIND A DIFFERENT TOUR.

MR. CEDRIC CARSON HIMSELF WAS SCHEDULED TO CONDUCT YOUR TOUR TODAY. ...BUT SOMETHING CAME UP SO YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME.

DARN! SO MUCH FOR SEEING THAT CUTIEPIE UP CLOSE! YO, LEAKEY, LOOK! A PARTICLE DISSEMINATOR!

LOSER SAYS, “OW! ”

ERNESTO RODRIGUEZ! QUIT HORSING AROUND AND GET UP RIGHT NOW!

BUT, MOM, | WASN’T--| DIDN’T--

HEH HEH. DON’T YOU HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS?

AND OVER YONDER IS OUR LASERY-ZAPPERY PROTOTYPE THINGY-MAJIG. DID | MENTION |’M NOT AN ACTUAL SCIENTIST?

ERNIE?

NO, HOLD UP.

ADIOS, WIMP.

SLATER’S GOT GUTS. | HATE THEM. BUT HE’S GOT ‘EM.

COME ON, ERNIE, WE BETTER KEEP MOVING.

WOW! HE SCRUFFED YOU WITH YOUR MOM STANDING RIGHT THERE. THAT’S LIKE OLYMPIC-LEVEL BULLYING!

IT’S...

GLOWING! That room over there...

ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT, SALIM. COVER FOR ME, GUYS. |’M GOING IN!

MOST CURIOUS. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS, ERNIE?

PROVING TO SLATER |’M NOT A WIMP.

Creak

NO ONE THINKS YOU’RE A WIMP, ERNIE. INSANE? YES. BUT A WIMP? NO.

ERNIE, NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

STOP HIM, LEAKEY!

YOU STOP HIM. |’M TOO BUSY WONDERING WHO |’LL SHARE A LOCKER WITH ONCE HE’S EXPELLED.

SO WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? A GLOWING ENERGY BUBBLE GUY?!

THAT’S KINDA EPIC!

WHO--OR WHAT--ARE YOU?

CAN’T TALK, HUH? WELL, THAT AUTOMATICALLY MAKES ME LIKE YOU MORE THAN SLATER. HEY, MY HEAD SUDDENLY FEELS ALL TINGLY! IT’S YOU, ISN’T IT? YOU’RE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE!

DO YOU HAVE A NAME? MY NAME IS--

LIQUIDATOR! STOP TWISTING, YOU FOOL!

BLUE BARON?!

GREAT BLAZES! WHAT’S A CHILD DOING IN HERE?!

Ai, Dios mio!

UGGHH!

COUGH!!

COUGH! COUGH

LIQUIDATOR, YOU HALFWIT! YOUR LAST MINUTE SQUIRMING THREW US OFF COURSE!

...ON?

| MEANT FOR US TO CRASH INTO THE EMPTY WAREHOUSE NEXT DOOR, NOT THIS--MMMFFF!!!

HEY WHAT’S GOING...

OH, BABY | WAS SO WORRIED. ARE YOU OKAY?!

OF COURSE | AM! KINDLY UNHAND ME, WOMAN, |’M-|’M--

ERNIE!

MY VOICE! THIS IS NOT MY VOICE!!

|’M STANDING OVER THERE? WHY AM | STANDING OVER THERE?!

BLUE BARON! | MIGHT HAVE KNOWN YOU’D BE INVOLVED!

SPECIMEN SIX HAS ESCAPED AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!

BUT | WASN’T--

ALRIGHT, FOLKS. LET’S GET THIS CLOWN OUT OF HERE!

| MEAN, | DIDN’T--

HOW COULD YOU BE SO CARELESS AFTER WHAT HAPPENED LAST MONTH?

GIVE HIM A BREAK, STACY. AT LEAST THE BAD GUY DIDN’T GET AWAY THIS TIME!

THE MIKADO’S MATTER SCRAMBLER! IT MUST HAVE SOMEHOW DISTORTED REALITY! TELL THEM, LIQUIDATOR!

...

LOOKS LIKE IT’LL BE A WHILE BEFORE THAT GUY SAYS ANYTHING, KID! SO, | HAVE “THE UNBEATABLE BLUE BARON” TO THANK FOR ALMOST KILLING MY SON!

HUH? NO, | WASN’T EVEN--

WAIT, LET ME GUESS! MAKING INCREDIBLY LAME EXCUSES IS ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR SUPER-POWERS!

YOU SHOULD ALL BE LOCKED UP! MA’AM, PERHAPS MY TEAM COULD EXAMINE YOUR SON AND--

YOU’RE LUCKY | DON’T SUE YOU FOR RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT. COME ON, ERNIE! NO, WHAT ARE YOU--MMFMMF!!!

|’M NOT LETTING YOU PEOPLE ANYWHERE NEAR MY SON. SUPER-BEINGS ARE A MENACE TO SOCIETY!

WAIT! NO, PLEASE DON’T GO! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE!

...MOM?

BLUE BARON, YOU MUST LOCATE THAT ALIEN LIFE-FORM. WHO KNOWS WHAT IT MIGHT DO?

WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU ANYWAY? NORMALLY | CAN’T SHUT YOU UP BUT NOW SUDDENLY YOU CAN’T STRING TWO WORDS TOGETHER?

SURE. HOW ABOUT...

LATER!

WELL?!

AREN’T YOU GOING TO SAY ANYTHING?!

NOTE TO SELF: NEXT TIME DON’T SCOLD THE HERO UNTIL AFTER HE’S CLEANED UP HIS MESS.

OKAY, THIS IS TOTALLY NUTS. | CAN’T BE THE BLUE BARON!

| MEAN, THAT EXPLOSION PROBABLY JUST KNOCKED ME OUT AND ANY MINUTE NOW |’M GOING TO WAKE UP.

YEAH, ANY...

MINUTE...

...NOW!

THIS MAY NOT BE THE BEST TIME TO WAKE UP.

OKAY, SO THAT MOSTLY ROCKS. NOW LET’S SEE WHAT ELSE THIS SUPER-BOD CAN DO.

THEN AGAIN...

MAYBE | DON’T WANT TO WAKE UP. | MEAN, THE BLUE BARON HAS SUPER-SPEED, DOESN’T HE? HECK YEAH HE DOES! UCH! | THINK | JUST SWALLOWED A BUG!

OH HI. YOU WEREN’T ACTUALLY PARKING, WERE YOU?

YOU WANT ME TO PUT YOU DOWN NOW, DON’T YOU?

NO. YO, CHECK IT OUT, PEOPLE! NOBODY PARKS IN FRONT OF A FIRE HYDRANT ON MY WATCH!

YES PLEASE.

AND | LOOK LIKE A SUPERDORK. OH, MAN! THIS IS SO FREAKING EPIC! | CAN FLY! | HAVE SUPER-STRENGTH! SUPER-SPEED!

| MEAN, SERIOUSLY. DOES THIS GUY EVEN OWN A MIRROR?!

WELL, IF | REALLY AM STUCK AS THE BLUE BARON, THIS COSTUME HAS GOT TO GO.

| MEAN, THIS CORNY COLLAR ALONE IS ENOUGH TO DRIVE ME NUTS!

BUT | CAN’T STAY THE BLUE BARON FOREVER. ...CAN |?

SENILITY FINALLY KICKING IN, GRANDPA? OR HAVE YOU ALWAYS TALKED TO YOURSELF?

--DO THAT!

OW!

DON’T EVER--

RAIDER!

RAIDER?!

OH MAN. | AM SO SORRY. THAT WAS LIKE, A TOTAL REFLEX. YOU SEE, THERE’S THIS GUY AT MY SCHOOL WHO’S ALWAYS--

YOUR SCHOOL?!

UH, WHICH ONE OF US JUST GOT SLAMMED INTO A TREE, AGAIN?

PLEASE, | CAN EXPLAIN! | JUST--

OOF!

RAIDER AND | CAME TO INVESTIGATE YOUR BATTLE ON THE MIKADO’S SKYBASE! BUT IT SEEMS WE NEED TO DO MORE THAN JUST INVESTIGATE!

LOOK, BULL, YOU AND RAIDER WERE LIKE, MY FAVORITE HEROES UNION MEMBERS GROWING UP BUT IF YOU WON’T GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF...

THEN MAYBE YOU’LL LISTEN TO THIS!

THIS WHOLE SCHOOL YEAR, |’VE BEEN DUMPED ON AND KNOCKED AROUND AND LAUGHED AT.

WELL, NOW THAT | FINALLY HAVE THE POWER TO FIGHT BACK--

WHAT IS WRONG WITH Y--?! |’M GONNA USE IT! BARON, STOP!

BULL, HIS VOICE SOUNDS NORMAL BUT HIS WORDS SURE DON’T! YOU RECKON THE MIKADO DID SOMETHING TO HIM?

ANY ANALYSIS MUST WAIT, RAIDER! HE’S IN NO MOOD TO TALK THIS OUT!

OOF!

CURSE YOU, BLUE BARON!

BLUE BARON, WAIT--!

AW, DANGIT! WE’LL NEVER CATCH HIM NOW!

“CURSE YOU, BLUE BARON? ”

UM, HONEY?

WHAT? |’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT!

WHEN YOU SAID ERNESTO SEEMED OKAY AFTER THAT ACCIDENT...

...WERE YOU JUST BEING NICE?

| CAN DO THIS. JUST CONCENTRATE, AIM FOR THE SKY, AND FLY! FLY! FLY!!!

WHY DON’T YOU COME ON BACK TO THE TABLE NOW, SWEETIE?

YO, IF ERNIE GETS SENT TO THE FUNNY FARM, CAN | HAVE HIS ROOM?

THAT’S IT!

NOW LISTEN TO ME, YOU OBNOXIOUS LITTLE BAG OF DUNG! |’VE HAD TO ENDURE YOUR PATHETIC INSULTS SINCE THE UNFORTUNATE MOMENT | FIRST STEPPED THROUGH THAT FRONT DOOR! IF ONLY YOUR MIND WAS HALF AS ACTIVE AS YOUR MOUTH, YOU MIGHT REALIZE THAT YOU SUFFER FROM EGOCENTRIC-REGRESSED TENDENCIES BROUGHT ON

BY CLUELESS PARENTS WHO CANNOT OR WILL NOT CONTROL THEM!

AND INCIDENTALLY, ANYONE WHO WOULD WEAR THEIR HAIR IN SUCH A LUDICROUS FASHION IS IN ABSOLUTELY NO POSITION TO QUESTION ANYONE ELSE’S SANITY!

HUH?

ERNIE!

| DON’T CARE IF YOU JUST GOT HIT BY A BUS, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR TALKING TO YOUR SISTER LIKE THAT. NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM!

WITH PLEASURE!

UM, WHERE EXACTLY IS MY ROOM?

Thanks for reading the Free Comic Book Week Edition of The Blue Baron #1!

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