Isn't She Lovely by Lauren Layne (Excerpt)

Isn’t She Lovely Lauren Layne

FLIRT New York

This is an uncorrected excerpt file. Please do not quote for publication until you check your copy against the finished book.

Isn’t She Lovely is a work of fiction. Names, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

A FLIRT eBook Original Copyright © 2013 by Lauren Layne Excerpt from Friday Night Alibi by Cassie Mae copyright © 2013 by Cassie Mae. All Rights Reserved.

Published in the United States by FLIRT, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

FLIRT and colophon are trademarks of Random House, Inc. Cover credit [TK] eBook ISBN TBD www.ReadFLIRT.com

CHAPTER ONE

Stephanie

So, it’s like this...In movies, there's this thing called the meet-cute.

The meet-cute is that moment when the romantic couple meets for the first time, and it’s supposed to be amusing or ironic or charming, or some shit like that.

You know, like that scene where the sarcastic, ball-busting female character mistakes her handsome new lawyer for the janitor? Or when the impossibly cute secretary rear-ends the BMW of the guy who turns out to be her new boss?

Then, of course, true love abounds, and everyone conveniently forgets that the entire thing is completely contrived.

And here's what you don’t learn in Film 101…In real life? The meet-cute isn’t the least bit cute.

It’s more like a meet-awkward. Sometimes even a meet-shoot-me-now.

And another thing they don't tell you in film class?

It takes a hell of a lot longer than that brief moment to know that this other person is something other than a ginormous wart on your soul.

Basically, the meet-cute is this big, fat delusion created in the fantasy-land of Hollywood.

Except sometimes? Sometimes it’s real.

***

My mom always used to tell me that I wouldn’t really know myself until I turned thirty. I’m pretty sure that’s crap.

I’m twenty-one, and I already have a pretty good list of things I know about myself.

The smell of roses makes me nauseous, I look sallow in green, small talk makes me queasy, and I’ve got a thing for old movies.

Oh, and I hate being late.

But it must be some sort of cosmic requirement that on the first day of a new semester, you will sleep through your alarm, you will have misplaced your backpack, and naturally, the subway will be running way behind schedule.

Not that being late to my Classic Film Narratives class is something to get worked up about since it’s just an elective, but, it’s like I said. I hate being late.

On the plus side, I’ve been at NYU for three years now, and know my way around campus. So at least I’m not lost on top of having to do that awkward boob-jiggling half-run/half-walk as I make my way towards the classroom.

I’m digging around in my ancient black backpack for a granola bar since I skipped breakfast, when I run smack into a wall of, well...beefcake for a lack of better word.

I’ve never done the whole round-the-corner-run-into-someone thing, but I always imagined it happening kind of slo-mo.

It doesn’t.

It’s more of a split-second flash of surprise and teeth-jolting discomfort followed by stinging humiliation.

I don’t know what’s worse...the fact that my shit’s now all over the ground, or the fact that I’m gaping at the guy I just slammed into.

He’s obnoxiously good-looking in a clean-cut, star-quarterback kind of way. Dark blond hair, strong chin, golden-brown eyes and yummy shoulders...

Totally not my type. I prefer the wiry artist types with soulful eyes. But still, he’s pretty if you like ‘em tall, muscley and hair-gelled.

Instead of apologizing like a good little plastic doll, he let out the smallest of sighs like he’s the one inconvenienced, even though he’s not the one who has tampons and notebooks scattered all over the ground.

“Awesome,” I mutter, bending down to pick up the mess.

He leans down at the same time and I jerk my head back just in time to avoid bumping skulls like a B-movie scene. Unfortunately, my movement caused my chest to thrust up awkwardly towards his face, and we both leap back just in time to avoid him face-planting into my boobs.

Basically I just replaced a slightly awkward moment with the motherlode of awkwardness. Could this day get any better?

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Pretty Boy says with a crooked grin. I don’t know whether he’s apologizing for our initial collision, or the humiliating near-miss of an inadvertent motor-boat situation. Since he looks like he’s ready to bust up laughing, I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.

Asshole.

I keep my eyes locked on the mess of books and papers, because my face feels like it’s on fire.

Of course I had to go with a skimpy tank-top today. I wasn’t usually one to show a lot of skin, but it was blazing hot, and the humidity at like four-hundred percent. My usual collection of dark tee-shirts seemed oppressive.

This is what I get for being practical.

The guy starts to help me gather my stuff, and I discreetly study him. His crisp white polo shirt and wrinkle-free plaid shorts are majorly out of place in the Tisch School of the Arts. Most of the students in my program look more like me. Dark hair. Dark clothes. Three more swipes of eyeliner than necessary.

My eyes lock on his espresso colored messenger bag where there’s a discreet Prada logo.

“Are you lost, or something?” I blurt out.

The guy gives a little laugh. “Just because I don’t come barreling around corners doesn’t mean I’m lost.”

“I wasn’t barreling,” I snap, “I’m just in a hurry.”

He picks up a tampon and hands it to me with an innocent smile. I try to look unfazed as I grab it and stuff it into the bottom of my bag. Really, of all the things to pick up, he goes for that one?

I snatch at the rest of my stuff, standing as I yank the zipper closed. “Whatever, I just thought I could point you in the right direction.”

“I’ll be a senior starting in September. I know my way around the campus,” he says, standing to tower over me.

“A senior here?” I gape. “Because you look like you walked off a Harvard admissions brochure.”

He raises an eyebrow that’s a couple shades darker than his blond hair. “Stereotype much?”

I don’t even know why I’m engaging in an argument with the guy, but there’s something smug about him, and all that tidy perfection bugs the crap out of me. I prefer my dudes real, and this one isn’t.

I sort of wave my hand up and down in his direction, “It’s just that I think you forgot to change out of your country club uniform.”

He takes a tiny step closer to me, and I try to ignore the fact that he’s about a foot taller than me and has a perfect view down my shirt.

“Does the surly mood come with the goth outfit?” he asks, giving me a once over. “Or do you have to buy it separately?”

I hold up a hand to shield my eyes. “Could you please watch where you’re pointing your teeth?

The glare from your caps is hurting my eyes.”

He runs a tongue over his ridiculously white teeth, looking thoughtful. “You know, sometimes if I don’t have enough light to study by, I just smile and use the reflection from these pearly whites.”

It’s a lame comeback, but I roll my eyes and let him win the sparring contest. I’m over this ridiculous conversation, and I head towards my classroom, well aware that I’m now a full twenty minutes late.

“You’re not even going to say good-bye?” he calls after me. “I picked up your tampon!”

I give a dismissive flick of my hand over my head, not bothering to turn around.

I quickly find my classroom, and brace myself for that awkward late-girl moment. The room is overly full considering this is a summer elective course, but then I guess that’s to be expected when the professor has two Golden Globes and an Oscar under his belt.

And actually, the professor isn’t a professor at all, but the current darling of Hollywood screen writing. Martin Holbrook graduated from NYU’s Tisch arts school, like a hundred years ago, and he guest lectures at his alma mater every now and then to throw some wisdom at the undergraduates.

Of course, this class wasn’t my only reason for sticking around New York this summer. Hell, it wasn’t even my primary reason.

But it was still pretty freaking cool to work with a guy who’d done the red carpet and all that.

Most of my professors’ experience was limited to behind-the-camera indie stuff.

“Ms. Kendrick, I presume?” Martin Holbrook says as I try to slink unobtrusively up the side wall.

“Um, yeah,” I say as I slide into the first empty seat against the wall. “Sorry I’m late.”

But to my surprise, Mr. Holbrook didn’t seem fazed by my late arrival, and neither am I getting the usual collegiate-judgment stare from my classmates.

Instead, they’re all staring at the toothpaste commercial standing in the doorway.

Oh good god.

Him again.

“Ethan, it’s good to see you again,” Martin Holbrook is saying.

Wait. What? I thought for sure we were dealing with a “wrong room” scenario. And what does Holbrook mean, again?

Instead of skulking along the wall like I did, Ethan ambles easily towards the empty row of desks where I’m sitting, looking completely unperturbed by the fact that everyone is staring at him.

I glare at him in a way that I hope coaxes him to put a couple desks between us. Instead, he lets his hip brush against the edge of my desk, dropping my smashed granola bar on my lap as he passes.

“You dropped this,” he says with a wink.

Everyone is staring at us in confusion, and I don’t blame them. I look like the “troubled girl” who parents warn their kids away from, and Ethan looks like the Homecoming King.

In no ecosystem should we even be acknowledging each other’s existence.

And yet, we both came in late, practically together, and now he’s being all winky and youdropped-this, making it seem like we actually know each other.

Horror.

I catch the eye of Carrie Sinders, one of my closest friends at school and she widens her eyes dramatically, as if to ask what’s going on?

Good question, Carrie. Good freaking question.

The only good thing about the whole situation is that Martin Holbrook isn’t the prima donna I was fearing, doesn't seem at all annoyed by the interruption. Probably because he played lacrosse with Pretty Boy Prada’s dad, or something.

I pull out my notebook and a pen and try to focus on what Holbrook is saying when I feel a poke behind my shoulder blades.

“Hey Morticia, can I borrow a pen?”

I start to tell Ethan that I don’t have one, but of course he knows first-hand that I have about ten in my bag. I dig out a blue ballpoint and drop it onto his desk without looking at him. I don’t like people I can’t figure out, and his very presence in a place he doesn’t seem to belong is unsettling.

That and he smells good. Really good. Normally I hate dudes with cologne. But this is clean and sexy and smelled kind of like summer in the Hamptons, and it was more than a little distracting.

I shake it off, and remind myself that I’m avoiding the male population in general since David.

David, whose idea of cologne was deodorant.

“So everyone’s good?” Holbrook says. I panic a little because I haven’t been paying attention at all, and instead of there being notes to copy down, Holbrook has just written a website on the board which I hurriedly scribble in my notebook.

Luckily there’s a total stoner in the back row who’s apparently as clueless as me, because he raises his hand in confusion. “Wait, so like...we just go online, pick out one of these common film narratives, and then write a screenplay based on one?”

Holbrook nods. “Pretty much. I’ll be here Tuesdays and Thursdays during the scheduled course time if you have questions or want to run something by me.”

I frown. Wait, we didn’t even actually have to come to class?

Normally this kind of freedom would be right up my alley, but I’d kind of been counting on this course to keep me busy this summer. In previous summers, I’d been able to stay on campus as long as I

took a certain number of credits, but this year they were re-painting all the dorms, so on-campus housing wasn’t available.

Instead I’m subletting my cousin’s shoe-boxed sized apartment in Queens, and I wasn’t sure she had the Internet, much less air-conditioning. What was I going to do all summer?

Still...anything beats going home.

“Okay, unless there are more questions, I’ll connect you guys with your partners and you can be on your way.”

It takes my brain a second to absorb that.

Waiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Partners?

I am not a group project kind of girl.

“I had my four-year old daughter draw names out of cereal bowl last night, so this is as random as it gets,” Martin was saying, pulling a small notebook out of his bag. “Aaron Billings? You’re with Kaitlin Shirr. Michael Pelinski, you’re with Taylor McCaid...”

The list goes on, and Carrie catches my eye, holding up crossed fingers.

Oh please god, let me be with Carrie. I can tolerate that. Mostly.

“Stephanie Kendrick...”

Oh please, oh please... “...you’re with Ethan Price.”

My mind goes temporarily blank. Film students are a pretty tight-knit group, and I thought I knew everyone in the class.

Everyone except...

Oh god.

Pretty boy must have put the pieces together too, because I feel another sharp poke between my shoulder blades.

“You hear that, Goth? Partners!”

I close my eyes. This can’t be happening.

Instead of the carefree, find-myself summer I’d envisioned, I’d be spending the next three months with my own life-sized Ken Doll.

And that wasn’t even the worst of it.

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