V12 Recovery Manuel (in the works~began in 2017)

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Introduction “In the fall of 1986, my oldest brother and I set off on a whim for St. Petersburg, Florida. This wasn’t an unusual thing for us. My brother and I were known for our wild stunts. Pleasure always came before everything else in our lives. One Thanksgiving, while the family was all gathered for dinner, my Mother realized she needed something from the store and we volunteered to go pick it up. While in the car we heard on the radio that one of our favorite classic rock bands was playing in Cincinnati that night. We quickly forgot about the family dinner and drove to the first open bar we could find to prime ourselves for the show that night. Two days later we showed back up at Mom’s with her requested commodity in hand; but many were greatly disappointed in us. Ours were lives spent in alcohol, drugs, fighting, and the pursuit of sexual adventure. It didn’t matter what it cost us or who we hurt. Our goal was self-satisfaction and the toll it took on the relationships in our lives never seemed to matter ...

So, we loaded up our army duffle bags, “borrowed” some money my Dad kept hidden away and left a note telling him we’d pay it back soon as we got a job, and set off heading South. We had no plan, and no prospects. Just as we crossed the state line of Ohio and Kentucky my car, which had always been reliable, suddenly died. As chance would have it the car literally died just before an exit which had several restaurants and hotels off of it. We paid for a room for the night, walked across the street to buy beer and broke out some marijuana we had brought for our trip. The night in our room was spent concluding that we couldn’t go back home. We had stolen money and it seemed our die was cast; so we decided when we awoke the next day we’d put our bags over our shoulder and use our thumbs to hitchhike the remainder of the way to Florida.” —JL

And so the journey began ...

My thanks to all of those willing to offer up their own personal testimonies. These excerpts will help provide real voices to accompany the V12 written material. There is no substitute for voices that tell it like it is. In these testimonies you will find familiar language and reason for hope … because they are your stories.

No one wakes up one morning and says, “Today I will begin to ruin my life completely; I will make it my sole purpose; no matter what it takes, I will do it, and drag others down with me.” … and yet we do these things, and here we are. Chaos and despair are not about social status, education or upbringing. They are the result of spiritual emptiness. Let’s get outta this mess in the name of Jesus!

— Sean Lawrence, Pastor LGF and Kingswell 2

Why V12 and what is the model?

The working model is that of the Jaguar XJS 12 cylinder engine.

We know that if the engine does not fire on all cylinders the engine will falter, destabilize and ultimately fail. The same model can be applied to our lives. Little or no maintenance will inevitably create failure. So, if you do not change the oil, do not keep the sparkplugs clean, and do not lubricate moving parts, your engine will fail. All 12 cylinders are required if we want to move forward at the right speed, have the power to pass, and are confident of making it to our destination.

For the cylinders to fire there must be engine health. There must be fuel, an ignition source, lubrication, cooling fluids, and proper exhaust. As stated earlier, if there is not regular maintenance and downtime, the engine will fail. This also applies to humans, especially those fighting their way back to physical, mental and spiritual health.

We will be working on the premise that we are the car, the engine is our primary focus, and God is our mechanic. Let’s put our pedals to the metal, rubber to the road, and live life to the full!

Let’s go ...

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VICTORIOUS STEPS Step 1.) We admit we are powerless over our sin—that our lives are unmanageable. [Romans 3:20-24] Step 2.) We believe that only God can restore us to sanity in the person of Jesus Christ. [Luke 8:27 & 33-35] Step 3.) We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God the Father. [John 3:16-17] Step 4.) We make searching and fearless moral inventories of ourselves. [James 4:1-4] Step 5.) We confess to God, and to another human being, the exact nature of our sins. [Numbers 5:7] Step 6.) We are entirely ready to have God remove our sins by the power of the Holy Spirit. [Psalm 103:11-12] Step 7.) We humbly asked Him to remove our sins. [John 1:27-30] Step 8.) We make lists of all the persons we had harmed, and are willing to make amends to them all. [Psalm 86:1-6] Step 9.) We make direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. [1 John 1:8-9] Step 10.) We continue to take personal inventories, and when we are wrong we promptly admit it. [Ephesians 4:25-27] Step 11.) We seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of His will and the power to carry it out. [Matthew 7:7-11] Step 12.) Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, and having chosen a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we carry this message to others, practicing these principles in all our affairs.

[Luke 4:17-19]

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HOW WE SEE IT …

[John 14:6] Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.

No one comes to the Father except through Me.” [Romans 8:37-39] … in all these things we are more than victorious through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers, height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!

[1 John 1:8-10] If we say, “We have no sin,” we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say, “We don’t have any sin,” we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.

What we see when we look at you, and when we look at the man or woman in the mirror, is a victor not a victim! We are convinced through our own experiences that healing and victory over our sin (and its consequences) is possible. This can only happen in the name and person of Jesus Christ, however. If you are willing to be healed, then God is able to do what no man can do!

Sin, by definition, is the distance between us and God created by our natural rebellion and temptation in the flesh. This sin condition is not unique, but it does prevent us from healing if we are not honest about what we have been up to and that how we have conducted our lives dishonors God and grieves His Spirit. And while we do not believe perfection is possible this side of heaven, we do believe that our lives can be free from the agony of addiction and abuse we have subjected ourselves and others to. We believe that you and I can live productive and meaningful lives that boast of Jesus Christ and honor Him hour to hour, day to day. Let God be God and be amazed!

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V Twelve This program, while founded on 12 recognizable steps, is modified to be Victorious and possible to achieve, but with a “condition.” The condition, so to speak, is the knowledge that the steps are not “once and done” nor are they going to save you. Only Jesus saves … but because you are here, I suspect you already know that!

This discipleship experience (and that is what it can be if you are willing to follow Jesus) will be something we will practice and get better at over time. We practice as a community of believers, and we practice individually throughout our daily walk. Practicing this will not be easy because it is a lifestyle, and not a program. Life is open-ended while programs are limited and time sensitive. Things do get better, but never overnight. Some things will get worse, but they will not last, either. If it is ever easy, you can be pretty sure that you are not following Jesus.

Additionally, you are not cured because you have accomplished the steps; if that were the case we would use the Ten Commandments and take Jesus out of the equation altogether. By the way: What commandments are we told to live by? Love God with everything you are; love your neighbor as you would yourself. Everything of any value comes out of loving the way Jesus loved.

The V TWELVE provides a structure just like a building has a frame. It helps us stay on track and gives something tangible to hang our hopes and plans on. However, again be aware that these steps will not save you; they cannot be accomplished without hard work and practice; there is no substitute for Jesus; and, you cannot practice this for another person. We practice life with others but not for them.

What are we recovering from? For some it is pretty obvious: alcohol, drugs, OCD, irrational fears, sexual issues, etc. But what is at the core of all of this is one thing: SIN. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you have been, how good or how bad … sin is our real problem! The symptoms of our sin are all of the things we see very easily, or think we can. Our real stumbling block is that we are using substitute gods and not honoring the only one who can help us. That One is Jesus.

What is the goal we truly believe in? It is that we can begin to identify ourselves by grace and not by our sin nature. By that I mean we have to begin to see ourselves as truly freed from the prisons we are in and not identify ourselves as addicts, alcoholics, and so forth. We must begin to see ourselves as “children of God.” Let me ask you? What does an addict do? What does an alcoholic do? What does a sexually obsessed or misguided person do? Of course they practice their sin. Do not let your label become who you are and end up a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You might become an advocate for someone who has no voice, or you may want to engage stewardship as it literally applies to mission, the environment, politics or other service-related activities. If you shine brightly as a Child of God there are no limitations to what you are capable of. Without Jesus I cannot say.

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7 Maintenance Tips (Proverbs for system health) Tip 1: Change your oil and filter on a regular basis. This goes to checkups and general health activities. It also goes to personal accountability and routine (or stability). “Routine “as defined means intentional and predictable. We do not become healthy, or stay healthy, as a result of random acts. You would not change your oil at 3000 miles, 150 miles, and then 10,000 miles.

Tip 2: Flush your cooling system periodically. Drink enough spiritual water, hydrate your body and soul; make sure your plumbing is in good working order. Water, both spiritual and liquid, are cleansing. Cleansing and flushing any system goes to long term health and short term comfort and quality. Like any working system a good flush is essential to purge the bad stuff. It resets the baseline and allows the system to heal itself by getting rid of toxins (the funk and the gunk).

Tip 3: Replace your transmission and differential oils as needed. Watch your emotional health and be sure you can effectively shift gears. Going at the same speed or attempting to accelerate quickly without shifting to the next gear could overload the transmission … and over time cause it to fail. The way I would describe it is “system frustration.” Check your stress levels and be sure you can shift up and down as needed at all speeds. Fuel, both emotional and physical, get burnt cleanly with a minimum of waste if speed and gearing are meshed or in synch. If you don’t know the best way to maintain your system, find someone who does. Mature Christ-followers can be the equivalent of spiritual mechanics. When your system overheats, take time to cool down, and then drive on ...

Tip 4: Keep your body clean; wash up the outside. Wax it. Personal hygiene. Take showers, wash off, and keep clean for yourself and others. You won’t attract people if you are gnarly. In fact those around you will make incorrect assumptions about your inside by observing the outside. Take some pride in how you look. Try to be shiny and bright like a mirror reflecting God’s light. It is better to maintain your paint job as opposed to doing a repaint. Even Maaco is expensive when you don’t have the funds.

Tip 5: Everything with moving parts needs grease to survive. Lubricate your parts. This might be more accurately addressed by exercise and regular physical activity. Flexibility and so forth are the direct result of keeping the moving parts moving. Exercise and certain medications can help us stay active longer. Even the most sedentary people actually need activity .

This keeps blood flowing, the heart pumping and the others organs filtering and processing toxins that build up in the system.

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7 Steps to maintain your system continued.

Tip 6: Wax your paint job and protect it. Take care of details. Over time all of the details can make a difference … and so can ignoring them. Excess rust and deterioration come from road wear. We all show this, but taking care of the skin we are in will help us look and feel better longer. Pits and small areas of rust, if ignored, can result in whole panels needing to be replaced. Do the touch up and watch exposure to the elements. This can save the finish, also.

Tip 7: Check your brakes and be able to stop when you need to. Emotional braking is very important. Knowing when and where to stop is important relationally and can prevent real problems before they occur. Without good brakes you can’t stop before you run into something or someone that makes you stop. Then there is heavy damage to all parties involved.

This is what we call a multi-car pile up. These are not accidents because they are preventable.

They are collisions. Do not be a collision waiting to happen!

If you were going to relate these same steps to your physical, emotional, and spiritual health how would you describe the 7 steps?

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Lesson: The fine wine and the inferior wine.

Scripture: John 2:1-11 On the third day a wedding took place in Cana of Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding as well. When the wine ran out, Jesus’ mother told Him, “They don’t have any wine.”

“What has this concern of yours to do with Me, woman? ” Jesus asked. “My hour has not yet come.” “Do whatever He tells you,” His mother told the servants. Now six stone water jars had been set there for Jewish purification. Each contained 20 or 30 gallons. [about 150 gallons] “Fill the jars with water,” Jesus told them. So they filled them to the brim. Then He said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the chief servant.” And they did.

When the chief servant tasted the water (after it had become wine), he did not know where it came from — though the servants who had drawn the water knew. He called the groom and told him, “Everyone sets out the fine wine first, then, after people have drunk freely, the inferior. But you have kept the fine wine until now.”

Jesus performed this first sign in Cana of Galilee. He displayed His glory, and His disciples believed in Him.

The “Fine Wine” isn’t wine at all, but Jesus Christ Himself.

The “Inferior Wine” is the drink of this world and represents our sin nature … our dead identity.

The “Third Day” isn’t just any day, it is our resurrection day … when we are set free by the cross.

The “Six Stone Jars” are not simply jars; they represent the way we used to be, our old lives.

We think “Our Hour Has Not Yet Come” but it has. The time to change is now; the choice is yours.

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What motivates and what provides We know from experience, that among other things, the following “needs” motivate us at our very core. However, they are temporary requirements, offering no lasting pleasure and providing no lasting peace.

While sustaining, these “basic needs” can also become obsessive; and we can become compulsive in our pursuit of them. With the exception of oxygen, water, food , clothing and shelter, everything else is a want and not a need. Even sex, companionship, purpose and income can be lived without. So how do we deal with our wants and needs? How do we differentiate between the two? How do we find balance and health without violating others or becoming addicted? Unless we are psychotic (mentally ill) or sociopathic (without empathy), we can make clear decisions about wants and needs.

Food Shelter Sex Water Companionship Purpose Clothing Income The list goes on ...

Yet, they are of the flesh, and with the flesh they are fleeting and temporary by nature. God is eternal and does not turn or change. Likewise, because we are made in His likeness, our spirit is eternal. While meeting the needs of the here and now in healthy ways we must prepare for our eternal life by honoring God and storing up treasures in a heavenly place. To do this our hearts must be there.

Flesh motivates God provides

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PRACTICE Practice will not make you and I perfect, but in Christ we are certainly being perfected

1 Timothy 4: 11- 16 Command and teach these things.

Let no one despise your

youth; instead, you should be an example to the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

Until I come, give your attention to public reading,

exhortation, and teaching.

Do not neglect the gift that is in you; it was given

to you through prophecy, with the laying on of hands by the council of elders.

Practice these things; be committed to them, so that your progress may be

evident to all.

Pay close attention to your life and your teaching; persevere in

these things, for by doing this you will save both yourself and your hearers.

1 Corninthians 9: 24- 27 Don’t you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize.

Now eve-

ryone who competes exercises self- control in everything. However, they do it to receive a crown that will fade away, but we a crown that will never fade away.

Therefore I do not run like one who runs aimlessly or box like one beating the air.

Instead, I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

Romans 7: 18- 19 For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh.

For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it.

For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do.

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Discipleship … a way of life.

Rather than a program, discipleship is a process of discovery, pilgrimage, and covenant with God and His people in the name of Jesus Christ. In all of this Jesus Christ is absolutely key. Without Him there is life, but a life without purpose.

I am not the brightest guy in the room, nor the sharpest tool in the shed, but I did discover that life with Jesus, no matter how difficult, is better than a life without Him. After the teaching and the preaching, you I are urged to go back and re-read the written material as devotion, and continue to seek out God’s message to you through Scripture. God has a unique message, and a special purpose, for you. The only way you can know this is to stay close to God, His church, and be persistent about Biblical reading.

To provide a general method of recovery, which I believe we all are engaged in, I use a Victorious program called “the Twelve.” This is a Christ-centered derivative of the well-known AA 12-Step program. To be victorious over sin we must worship the One who is victorious over sin and death: Jesus Christ, Son of God. In keeping with the Mission of Hope’s directive from Matthew 25:40 , “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me,” we are compelled us to offer strength and direction to one soul at a time knowing that the Holy Spirit can do what no human can.

The 12 steps can be broken down as such: We are completely powerless (control/sanity) We believe Jesus can save us (Jesus alone/no other) We give Him a chance (belief/faith) We are honest about our lives (honesty) We confess our sins (confession) We are willing to allow Jesus in (positive risk taking/planning & follow-through) We ask to be healed (healing/gifting) We make a list of those we have hurt (accountability) We make amends where we can (boundaries) We continue to be honest and accountable (success/a good life) We improve our relationship skills with God and others (4 relationships) We tell others Who it is that healed us (proclaim Jesus/honor Him) Praying isn’t just for the 11th step, which is why I have not included it there. It is a relationship building tool that we use throughout our lives every day; more than once a day for most of us.

What is the goal? To no longer identify ourselves as addicts and sinners-at-large, but to be free at last … transformed into new people who do not do what they once did. This does not mean that you’re perfect or done with sin. This is about hope, not perfection. If you have been labeled (or identify yourself as) an addict, alcoholic, hopeless, useless, or whatever, then you are going to do what you are labeled as being … leading lives of addiction and sin, uselessness and hopelessness, destroying yourselves and others along the way.

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Discipleship … a way of life.

The first 12 lessons in discipleship will be to take words or phrases out of each step and use it to explore what it means in our lives today.

What does it mean to be sane? What is a simple definition of insanity?

What does it mean to confess? Is it really good for the soul?

What does it mean to be successful?

What does it mean to be stable?

What does it mean to be productive and work with your hands?

What does it mean to lead a quiet life that honors God? What does it mean to be a disciple? How long does it take?

What does it mean to have a personal relationship with Jesus? How will you know?

We will find it easier to point to lives as good examples of “living better” rather than using examples of unattainable perfection as our goal. This unattainable perfection I am referring to is living in the past or dwelling on the future. the way it was when life was better or the way it will be when life gets better.

Jesus is our role model and master. We cannot be Him but we can strive to model ourselves after Him. We are told: “Be holy because I am Holy.” (Leviticus 11:45) We are not asked to be as holy as God. A t-shirt I made says it all: “If you think this is bad you should’ve seen me without Jesus.”

We will dig down deeper with each rotation of the 12 steps, lifting out and sifting through conversation and personal testimony; we will explore just how it has been and how we aim to change our lives beginning right now in real time.

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CYLINDER ONE Step 1.) We admit we are powerless over our sin—that our lives are unmanageable.

SCRIPTURE Romans 3:20-24 For no flesh will be justified in His sight by the works of the law, for through the law comes the knowledge of sin.

But now, apart from the law, God's righteousness has been revealed--attested by the Law and the Prophets --that is, God's righteousness through faith in Jesus Christ, to all who believe, since there is no distinction.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. They are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.

LESSON There is no way we can control our urges, or successfully resist temptation, by ourselves. We are powerless over our sin: every man and every woman is powerless over sin. But with a belief in Jesus Christ, and the sincere desire to begin again with Him, we can live a life that is both manageable and productive. There are no steps that will save you without Jesus. Steps or “cylinders” as we refer to them, are 12 guides on a road map to freedom; but by themselves they are just legalities which condemn us in the knowledge of our sin.

Yet there is real hope in the knowledge that while all have fallen short there is the gift of grace . Everyone (yes, everyone) can have this gift if they are willing to accept it. In accepting grace we are immediately forgiven and we can begin a new way of life. It is never too late to confess our shortcomings and walk away from our old lives. This is repentance! This is our first cylinder.

Q: How has your life been unmanageable, and what needs to change?

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CYLINDER TWO Step 2.) We believe that only God can restore us to sanity in the person of Jesus Christ.

SCRIPTURE Luke 8:27&33-35 When He (Jesus) got out on land, a man from the town who had demons met Him. For a long time he had worn no clothes and did not stay in a house but in the tombs.

The demons came out of the man and entered the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and drowned.

When the men who tended them saw what had happened, they ran off and reported it in the town and in the countryside.

Then people went out to see what had happened. They came to Jesus and found the man from whom the demons had departed, sitting at Jesus' feet, dressed and in his right mind. And they were afraid.

LESSON The best evidence of our return to sanity is that people begin to see us behaving differently. Note: The definition of insanity is “doing the same things over and over expecting different results.” A return to sanity will be 180 degrees away from what we have been doing in the past. Like the possessed man in the tombs, who was completely out of control, we now can be found behaving quite differently … literally at the foot of the cross, dressed appropriately and in our right minds.

What is your story, and the evidence of change in your life? Do people believe you can change or have you burnt all the bridges and destroyed all confidence?

I’ll bet that no one believed that the madman could ever be transformed, but Jesus proved them wrong. He can heal you. This is cylinder 2 Q: Do you believe that Jesus is the only solution to your problem? Why or why not? Have you given it a try?

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CYLINDER THREE Step 3.) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as our Father.

SCRIPTURE John 3:16-17 " "For God loved the world in this way: He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

3:17 For God did not send His Son into the world that He might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.

LESSON We have made, or will make, a decision to turn our lives over to the care of a God who is our heavenly Father. We can do this with complete trust and not fear for our safety. The tales of abuse at the hands of an evil father figure are as old as time; however, do not confuse the fathers of this world with the Father of creation … the Father of Lights. God the Father loved the world (you and me) so much that He gave His only Son to die that we might have life.

God does not take. God gives. Our God is not an abusive God who will hurt us; He is a jealous God who will protect us from all harm if we allow Him to. This is the important part: we have to trust Him and allow Him to protect us. He will not do this without our consent, our say so. We must decide to give our lives over so that they can be cared for properly. God the Father is the God of love.

Most of all He wants a covenant relationship, not an arrangement or a contract.

He is a God of grace giving us what we do not deserve and cannot earn.

This is cylinder 3

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I used to be a religious zealot. Sincere, but sincerely judgmental. Grace was a word I proclaimed to understand but I didn’t.. I said people with liberal theology used it as an excuse to sin. I warned them God was still holy, just, and judge. Then my walk with Christ led to being knocked off my high horse …” —SB

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CYLINDER FOUR Step 4.) Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

SCRIPTURE James 4:1-4 What is the source of the wars and the fights among you? Don't they come from the cravings that are at war within you?

You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. You do not have because you do not ask.

You ask and don't receive because you ask wrongly, so that you may spend it on your desires for pleasure.

Adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the world's friend becomes God's enemy.

LESSON If we are honest – and really there is no other choice if we want to quit being a slave to our sin – then we will have to look into the wars and fights among us and within us. This step asks us specifically to look into the areas of darkness and conflict within our own bodies and souls. No matter what reason you are at this table, you already know that the battle you have been unable to win is the one within your own soul. The reason you have not been successful is because you have not been honest about the inventory of darkness within you and the deficit of Light.

The only real Light bearer is Jesus Christ because He is all love and all Light. Get honest for a change. Confess. This is cylinder 4.

Q: When you take an inventory of yourself what things do you find in the corners and on the top shelves? Yearnings, resentments, unmet desires, hurt and rejection?

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“When we were young we swore that if worse came to worse we would live in a cardboard box and it would be enough.

I wonder if we could do that now. I wonder if I would be able to risk everything to stay straight. I like to think so, but I have never lost it all. We have lost a lot of things but never everything at one time.”

—JJ

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CYLINDER FIVE Step 5.) Confessed to God, and to another human being, the exact nature of our sin.

SCRIPTURE Numbers 5:7 The person is to confess the sin he has committed. He is to pay full compensation, add a fifth of its value to it, and give [it] to the individual he has wronged.

LESSON Yes, confession is good for the soul in the same way forgiveness is. It liberates us. God knows our hearts, but we take responsibility for our sin and make the choice to unload it. The trick is not to pick it all back up when we are on our “way out of the confessional.”

The passage from Numbers is a really interesting combination of confessing and making amends. Nothing we do stands alone in its impact; nothing we do is accomplished in a vacuum. There is always a cause and an effect. Sin is the cause and the effect is our decision-making, and the hurt we have caused others and what we do about it Obviously, we are confessing because we have done something to dishonor God, but most likely we have also dishonored another person and probably hurt them, as well. Just because we have not had the law called or an individual is not bleeding out in front of us does not mean that what we have done is harmless. There is no such thing as a victimless crime!

This is cylinder 5.

Q: If you have confessed and been honest, have you been forgiven or received remissions of sins? Will you go without these sins or will you repeat them?

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“I am a sinner. I could go into all the gory detail, but let's leave it at that. Suffice it to say that I am blessed to be alive and to be able to tell about it. Remember that it was the sixties, seventies and eighties ... a cauldron of ‘opportunity,’ so to speak ... not all bad, not all good, but certainly a huge temptation. I'm sure you get my meaning. Like any gift, life is what we do with it, not how it was handed to us.

Today I am convinced that it is better to be known by our grace and not by our sin. Sin condemns, and I know a thing or two about sin.

I recommitted my life to Christ in a public church ceremony when I was eighteen, though it took another 30 years to finally accept His healing. When I did say “yes,” however, I never looked back. Nothing in my life has ever been an overnight sensation! God’s healing is no different. I think it requires a special journey.

I pray this provides some hope for anyone struggling with their sin. Don’t identify with sin; identify with Jesus!

God loves us for who we are, not for what we have done or what we promise we will do.

Today I am clean and sober: a child of God. This is by choice, not by accident.” How we live is our choice … no one else’s.

—SL

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CYLINDER SIX Step 6.) We are entirely ready to have God remove our sins by the power of the Holy Spirit.

SCRIPTURE Psalm 103:11-12 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His faithful love toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

LESSON God is the only One who forgives sin and forgets sin.

We know that Jesus died for our sins, and that the work of forgiveness is complete on the cross. But because we continue to sin there must be someone who can lift them from us each time we confess and repent. This is the work of the Holy Spirit, the one left to alongside each one of us in the absence of our risen Lord. The burning question is this: are you and I entirely ready to have the sin removed? It would seem like an obvious answer … but not so fast. We do not like to give up our areas of comfort and familiarity even if they are bad for us.

Am I right? Sin can be like an old overstuffed chair. It feels good, so good that even though it is destroying our will to live we just can’t lift ourselves out of it. It is way too easy to stay where we are and wait until tomorrow. Well, it’s a great plan assuming there is a tomorrow! Prepare today for what no one knows: the day or the hour. This is the sixth cylinder.

Q: If you are ready to have your sins removed are you willing to give them up?

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CYLINDER SEVEN Step 7.) Humbly asked Him to remove our sins.

SCRIPTURE John 1:27-30 He is the One coming after me, whose sandal strap I'm not worthy to untie."

All this happened in Bethany across the Jordan, where John was baptizing.

The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Here is the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!

This is the One I told you about: 'After me comes a man who has surpassed me, because He existed before me.“

LESSON We ask Jesus to take away our sin because He is the only One who can. In fact He took away our sins on the cross for all time … that if we believe in Him, and confess in true repentance, then our sins can be removed in real time: today, right here and right now. The problem with this, if it is a problem at all, is that immediately upon having our sin removed we fall back into its temptation.

We need Jesus.

Thus, seeking to repent, and to have our sin removed, is a daily process that must be sought as often as we can muster the strength. It is appropriate to make time each day, or with great frequency, to commune with God. The reason is this: it will not take long for our sin to overtake us and literally bury us in its darkness.

Satan knows that if we are buried in darkness long enough we will lose our will to seek the light and break the bondage of evil. Humbly ask Him to remove the sin that is burying you alive. The is cylinder seven.

Q: When we confess, and ask that Jesus removes our sin, are we humbled and ready to move on or are we gonna miss our sin life just a little?

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“Since knowing Him, God showed me that being a “Christian” isn’t about just doing good works.

He made it clear that I do not have to earn my salvation or His love (Eph. 2:8-9). He has given me fulfillment and purpose and joy. I am not perfect and I still mess up, but God loves me despite my flaws and imperfections. And when the things I was pursuing before continually let me down, God has never once left me. He has shown Himself to me in His Word, the Bible, in (verse of scripture).

God loved me even at my lowest point (so drunk once that I left the rail to my daughter’s crib down one night after putting her to bed only to wake up the next morning and realize my failure to provide safety and comfort for her. Thank God she didn’t fall out of her crib). He has rescued me from myself and eternal separation from Him. I now play my guitar in Church every Sunday to worship him now. He is my SALVATION.” —RJ

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CYLINDER EIGHT Step 8.) Made a list of all the persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to the all.

SCRIPTURE Psalm 86:1-6 Listen, Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.

Protect my life, for I am faithful.

You are my God; save Your servant who trusts in You. Be gracious to me, Lord, for I call to You all day long.

Bring joy to Your servant's life, since I set my hope on You, Lord.

For You, Lord, are kind and ready to forgive, abundant in faithful love to all who call on You. Lord, hear my prayer; listen to my plea for mercy.

LESSON The manner in which David writes this petition to God, in order to make amends for his own transgressions, is similar to what we would say to the person (or persons) we have listed to make amends to. Now, those we have offended may not be as open or as forgiving as God is. So, what about those who are unavailable, those we would be causing more harm to, or those who are dead?

We need to understand that the individual that is most in need of our forgiveness is our self. I am not suggesting that others do not require a formal apology; what I am saying is that if we are to move on we must forgive ourselves whether or not others are willing to do the same.

Pray for forgiveness, confess your sins, repent and ask for a special blessing on those you have harmed. In this way you are being liberated from the bondage of a past that cannot be altered. This is cylinder eight.

Q: What happens if someone you harmed is either unavailable or unwilling to accept your apology? Who is really freed by your amends?

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CYLINDER NINE Step 9.) Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.

SCRIPTURE 1 John 1:8-9 If we say, "We have no sin," we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

LESSON We do this because we have a desire to be honest and to stay honest in all that we do and say. This is a new way of living and may not always be well received by those we have harmed. In making amends we are acting out our forgiving nature because we have been forgiven. We know by opening ourselves up, and acting out our new nature in Christ, we are healing and being healed. Forgiveness is an act of selflessness … something that may be very new to those of us who have thought nothing of doing anything and everything to feed our sinful nature.

As we build on Step 8 we do not simply have a desire to do a right thing, we are willing to do it and accept the consequences of facing those who have every reason to be upset with us … to “hate our guts” so to speak. We are confessing our sins to God, to others and to self. We are making good on our commitment to be honest for a change. This is cylinder nine.

Q: Is there anything that should be kept between yourself, God, and another disinterested individual? Who would get hurt if it “got out.”

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Q) How do you know what God really wants?

A) I don't think anyone can know that for certain. I think we have been given guidelines, like the Commandments to work toward: what we think He wants from us. Maybe all He wants is our love and faith in Him, and love and care of each other.

— AF

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CYLINDER TEN Step 10.) Continue to take personal inventory, and when we are wrong promptly admit it.

SCRIPTURE Ephesians 4:25-27 Since you put away lying, Speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another.

Be angry and do not sin. Don't let the sun go down on your anger, and don't give the Devil an opportunity.

LESSON Yes, we accumulate inventory … bad stock, so to speak. But like all inventories that must balance, and hold up under the scrutiny of an audit, we are compelled to be honest about the “junk” we have on our shelves. From old behaviors we see our trash in the same way we see our treasure … like an asset we just cannot throw out. Row upon row of dusty old outdated “baggage” remains stored up in the dark places: resentment, hurt, lust, anger, discontent, vengeance and sadness … the list goes on. But, in our hearts we know that a list of garbage is still just a list of something useless that takes up space and could be put to better use. Put away lying to yourself and speak the truth!

In business, the bottom line may appear to be better because of assets on the books, which means you probably have a lot of stuff on your shelves; but if we do an audit we will find that it is stuff that actually “devalues” our inventory.

Get rid of the trash, put in new lighting. and use that new shelf space to store up peace and joy and love. This is your treasure. This is cylinder ten.

Q: It’s one thing to take an inventory, but what about being wrong and admitting it … what will happen then?

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“I didn’t really know Christ nor did I have the desire to. I considered myself a good person and I kind of thought that that would get me to heaven.

I was so burned out from attending mass that the day I graduated was the last mass I attended (other than an occasional wedding or graduation) until a few years ago. I got into music and playing the electric guitar. It became my “god” if you will.

I had been given a gift and was misusing it.

Fast forward to 2010. Something struck my heart (I know now it was God) to get to know and understand Jesus and what it truly meant to be a Christian. I had battled a strong urge to indulge in the bottle for most of the decade (2000 through 2010). I felt so guilty during most of the decade.

My daughter was born in 2004 and I barely remember much of her first 2 years. I give credit to my wife for being loving and patient during that time. Her love and patience was the closest resemblance of God in my life at the time. What I didn’t realize is that he was there protecting and loving me unconditionally through all of those wasted years.”

—JR

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CYLINDER ELEVEN Step 11.) Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of His will and the power to carry it out.

SCRIPTURE Matthew 7:7-11 "Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?

Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

LESSON Does this mean that the first time we seek, or the first time we knock on God’s door, that we will be given everything we ask for and we will be completely satisfied? Or is there a suggestion that we must be persistent, and not tire of doing the right things, until we have results? We must be persistent, and the results will come at an appointed time. This timing will honor God and benefit us … that is His will.

If our lives are going to change it will be because of a process of steps we take each day, not because we have been involved in some “one-of-a-kind” supernatural event. As such, God will not reward us with a stone if we are hungry, but he will not give us everything we want because that makes us lazy and complacent.

God knows that the best reward is one that is in keeping with the effort we have made. This is cylinder eleven.

Q: What does it mean to have “the power to carry it out?” Are you able to do something like this by yourself?

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CYLINDER TWELVE Step 12.) Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, and having chosen a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we are carrying this message to others: practicing these principles in all our affairs.

SCRIPTURE Luke 4:17-19 The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to Him, and unrolling the scroll, He found the place where it was written: The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim freedom to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.

LESSON We are bound by our discipleship to go out and carry the message of good news to the poor, to proclaim freedom to all captives, recovery of sight to the blind, and freedom to the oppressed. Which one of us cannot identify at one time or another with being poor in possession & in spirit, captive to our sin, blind to the healing grace of Jesus Christ and oppressed by some one or thing?

However, now that we have a pretty good idea just what it means to taste freedom from a lifestyle that kept us forever in bondage, it is the right time to go out and tell others what we have discovered! It is the perfect opportunity to carry this message of healing and forgiveness to others, and to begin to live a decent life by practicing what we believe in. This is cylinder twelve.

Q: What does it mean to be a disciple of Jesus Christ … or to be a disciple maker? Where will you touch lives by being Jesus to them?

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“It was then that I began to plead my case with God. “Lord, I know I do wrong, but there are many worse than me who are blessed and well off. Why have You made me this way? Why can’t I find meaning in this life? Why have You forsaken me?”

It was then that God spoke to me. I didn’t hear a voice and there was no celestial visitation by an angel or prophet. In that moment of despair, when all around me was barren and empty, God spoke to me in a different way. You see suddenly the in scene that looked so barren before I saw God. The mountains that looked bare suddenly looked majestic. The trees without leaves or color were lifting their arms to heaven, and the clouds that moved so quickly and which were so ominous were tinted in light and their fullness seemed to express the glory of God.” —JL

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Appendix on the 4 critical relationships With God With Self

With Others With Creation

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God (His Character) Covenant/Sacred “God loves you” Numbers 23:19 God is not a man who lies, or a son of man who changes His mind.

Does He speak and not act, or promise and not fulfill?

John 3:16-18 16 “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His * One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. 18 Anyone who believes in Him is not condemned, but anyone who does not believe is already condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the One and Only Son of God.

Isaiah 46:4 I will be the same until your old age, and I will bear you up when you turn gray.

I have made you, and I will carry you; I will bear and save you.

2 Timothy 2:13 If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

2 Peter 3:8-9 Dear friends, don’t let this one thing escape you: With the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. 9 The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance.

Psalm 9:8-10 He judges the world with righteousness; He executes judgment on the nations with fairness.

9 The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.

10 Those who know Your name trust in You because You have not abandoned those who seek You, Yahweh.

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God (His Character) Covenant/Sacred “God loves you” Exodus 34:5-7 The LORD came down in a cloud, stood with him there, and proclaimed His name Yahweh. 6 Then the LORD passed in front of him and proclaimed: Yahweh — Yahweh is a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger and rich in faithful love and truth, 7 maintaining faithful love to a thousand generations, forgiving wrongdoing, rebellion, and sin.

YHWH or in Hebrew

Psalms 46:10 “Stop your fighting [Be Still]— and know that I am God, exalted among the nations, exalted on the earth.”

Revelation 21:6 I Am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give water as a gift to the thirsty from the spring of life.

James 1:16-18 Don’t be deceived, my dearly loved brothers. 17 Every generous act and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights; with Him there is no variation or shadow cast by turning. 18 By His own choice, He gave us a new birth by the message of truth so that we would be the firstfruits of His creatures.

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Self (Worth/Esteem) “Jesus died for you.”

Psalm 138:7-8 If I walk into the thick of danger, You will preserve my life from the anger of my enemies.

You will extend Your hand; Your right hand will save me.

8 The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me.

John 15:16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give you.

Romans 5:8 But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!

2 Corinthians 5:21 He made the One who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. Titus 3:5-7 He saved us — not by works of righteousness that we had done, but according to His mercy, through the washing of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit.

6 He poured out this Spirit on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that having been justified by His grace,

we may become heirs with the hope of eternal life.

Luke 12:6-7 Aren’t five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in God’s sight. 7 Indeed, the hairs of your head are all counted. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows!

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Self (Worth/Esteem) “Jesus died for you.”

Matthew 22:37-40 He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the greatest and most important command. 39 The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.”

Romans 5:6-11 For while we were still helpless, at the appointed moment, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For rarely will someone die for a just person — though for a good person perhaps someone might even dare to die. 8 But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us! 9 Much more then, since we have now been declared righteous by His blood, we will be saved through Him from wrath. 10 For if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, then how much more, having been reconciled, will we be saved

by His life! 11 And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ. We have now received this reconciliation through Him.

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Others (Community/Health) “Love and forgive unconditionally” John 13:34-35 “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 15:17 This is what I command you: Love one another.

1 John 4:7-12 Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent His One and Only Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 10 Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God. If we love one another, God remains in us and His love is perfected in us.

1 John 4: 19 & 21 We love because He first loved us. And we have this command from Him: The one who loves God must also love his brother.

Galatians 6:1-2 Brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so you also won’t be tempted. 2 Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

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Creation (Stewardship/Service) Live like it matters Matthew 10: 7-10 As you go, announce this: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ 8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those with skin diseases, drive out demons. You have received free of charge; give free of charge. 9 Don’t take along gold, silver, or copper for your money-belts. 10 Don’t take a traveling bag for the road, or an extra shirt, sandals, or a walking stick, for the worker is worthy of his food.

1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord’s work, knowing that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

2 Corinthians 9:6-12 Remember this: The person who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the person who sows generously will also reap generously. 7 Each person should do as he has decided in his heart — not reluctantly or out of necessity, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work. 9 As it is written: He scattered;

He gave to the poor; His righteousness endures forever.

10 Now the One who provides seed for the sower and bread for food will provide and multiply your seed and increase the harvest of your righteousness. 11 You will be enriched in every way for all generosity, which produces thanksgiving to God through us. 12 For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints, but is also overflowing in many acts of thanksgiving to God.

Matthew 6:19-21 “Don’t collect for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But collect for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves don’t break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

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