Philly Weekly 9-28-2016

09.29.16 - 10.05.16

Our Favorite Scams Fall Fests Debate Debacles

WE PROMISE NO SOCCER PUNS

2 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

phillyweekly.com | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 3

IN THIS ISSUE:

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28

4 PHILLY NOW

COMEDY

What to do this week

Stand-Up ConďŹ dential Helium Comedy Club hosts a night full of secrets. Mainly, the secret is who is going to be performing. Need some hints ?

They love New York City, have been featured on Conan and The Daily Show, and they have something in common with the 2008 Phillies. Stumped? Head to Helium to ďŹ nd out who it is.

8 FEATURE Abby Wambach in Philly

10 SPORTS Chase Utley welcomed home

13 STAGE

8pm. $15-$23. Helium, 2031 Sansom St. heliumcomedy.com

FiscalArts of FringeArts

CELEBRAT I ON

15 NEWS

Oktoberfest

Scam City & Debate Debacles

18 SAVAGE LOVE Cheats

19 CLASSIFIED 21 REAL ESTATE

Robin Admana of Foolish Waffles took home the 2015 Vendy Cup. (Photo by Stephen H. Segal)

CONNECT WITH US! Facebook: Philly Weekly Twitter: @phillyweekly Instagram: @phillyweekly

Bob Jacobs Associate Publisher Phone: 215.563.7400 bjacobs@bsmphilly.com

Deidre Simms Director of Major Accounts Phone: 215.563.7400 deidre@phillyweekly.com

Jacqueline Rupp Editor-in-Chief jacqueline@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyjackie

Anastasia Barbalios Managing Editor anastasia@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyweekly

PHILLY WEEKLY 2 Executive Campus, Cherry Hill, N.J. 08002. Phone: 215.563.7400 ClassiďŹ ed: 215.354.3054

RPM PHILLY, LLC Philly Weekly is published Wednesday by RPM Philly, LLC. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery & Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philly Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright Š 2016 by Philly Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

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It’s that time of year again.

Temps get a little colder and everywhere you go, there’s an Oktoberfest. The International House is hosting their very own celebration, chock full of traditional German culture, polka music, beer, and food courtesy of Wursthaus Schmitz. 6pm. $10-

$15. International House, 3701 Chestnut St. ihousephilly.org EVENT

Edible Books Party Do you like reading? What about cake? The Kelly Writers House is hosting the perfect party for you. Attendees are encouraged to bake works of art inspired by their favorite literary references.

Prizes will be awarded for the most appetizing creations. 5pm.

Kelly Writers House, 3805 Locust Walk. writing.upenn.edu/wh

FOOD

FOOD & DRI NK

Vendy Awards T

Grab your eyepatch and peg leg for a one-of-a-kind piratethemed party. The ďŹ ve-course dinner will be paired with piratethemed beers that are sure to get rid of your scurvy. Costumes and pirate talk highly encouraged.

he 6th Annual Vendy Awards return with unlimited beer, food-truck favorites and live music. The annual competition features 15 vendors selected via public nominations. This year’s nominees include The Chilly Banana, Grubaholics, Dos Hermanos Tacos, Sweet Lavender, My Four Suns and Nick’s Roast Beef.

Originally started in NYC more than a decade ago, the street chef challenge offers winners top honors in categories including Best Dessert, Rookie of the Year, People’s Choice and the coveted Vendy Cup. Attendees will have unlimited access to some of the city’s best street grub, beer, and live music, all while voting to see who has the best food in each category.

4 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

The event is a also a fundraiser to help support The Street Vendor Project, Philadelphia Mobile Food Association and The Food Trust, a local organization working to ensure that community members have access to affordable, nutritious food and information to make healthy decisions.

Sarah Baicker, co-host of the morning talk show Breakfast on Broad, will be your host, and the competing chefs will have to impress a panel of judges that includes Drew Lazor, Valerie Safran, and Chef Marcie Turney. —RYAN CURTISS

Sun., Oct. 2, Noon-4pm. $15-$65. The Fillmore, 29 East Allen St. vendyawards.streetvendor.org/ philadelphia

The Dashing Rogue’s Pirate Dinner

7pm. Chhaya, 1819 E. Passyunk Ave. noshhh.ticketleap.com MUSI C

Billy Bragg & Joe Henry During a four-day train ride going from L.A. to Chicago, folk veteran Billy Bragg and Joe Henry recorded an album of classic railroad songs. Tonight, they’ll perform songs from the album as well as fan favorites. 8:30pm.

$40-$55. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com

Photo by Paola Nogueras

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 29 STAG E

C O M E DY

Rizzo

Justin Willman

Based on the best-selling book “Rizzo: The Last Big Man in Big City America,” this raw, political drama explores the life and times of Frank Rizzo, as he moved through the ranks from beat cop to Police Commissioner to mayor of Philadelphia. Starring Scott Greer as Rizzo. Through Oct. 16. $15-$69. Suzanne

Comedian/magician Justin Willman is so good he once received a standing ovation after a private performance for President Barack Obama. A regular guest on The Tonight Show, The Ellen Show, and @midnight on Comedy Central, Willman’s act is a staple of the altcomedy scene. Through Oct. 1. $16-$26.

Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St. philadelphiatheatrecompany.org

Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Samson St. heliumcomedy.com

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 30 C EL EB R AT I O N

Mural Arts Month Kickoff Party It’s Mural Arts Month, and to kick off the festivities, the arts organization hosts a night of music, dancing, food and art. The event celebrates not only the art in Philly, but four new pieces that were created in South Philly’s Snyder Plaza. DJ Cosmo Baker, DJ Royale and Gun$ Garcia will be spinning hits, while some of Philly’s fave food trucks serve up dope eats. Keeping with the theme, some of Philly’s bestknown street artists will be doing live painting. 6pm. Free. Snyder Plaza, Snyder

Avenue & Swanson St. muralarts.org

which provides treatment for those disabled by neurological diseases and injuries. Through Nov. 4. MossRehab, 60

Township Line Rd. mossrehab.com STAG E

This Is The Week That Is Written and performed by the creative team at 1812 Productions, this electionthemed performance uses political satire to break down current headlines, while bringing answers to some of your most burning political inquiries. The script changes weekly based on the news, but the satirical wit remains intact. Through

Nov. 7. Plays & Players Theatre, 1714 Delancey St. 1812productions.org

ART

All About Art

MUSIC

MossRehab hosts an exposition and sale for artists with disabilities. The event is open to artists with physical, cognitive, visual and hearing disabilities and includes works on paper, mixed media, sculpture, jewelry, photography and crafts. Proceeds will help support the Moss Rehabilitation Research Institute,

The Red Bull Sound Select returns with performances from RJD2, Finding Novyon, and Hardwork Movement. The monthly showcases of emerging local talent are first come first served, so get there early. 8pm. $3-$10. The Foundry, 29

Philly Red Bull Sound Select

E. Allen St. redbullsoundselect.com phillyweekly.com | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 5

Zeds Dead (Photo by Hannah Snider)

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 1 MUSIC

OUTDOOR S

Zeds Dead: Northern Lights Tour

Philadelphia Dragon Boat Festival

The Canadian electro-house duo is finally back on the road after a year of crafting new beats and teasing their fans with cryptic announcements and new songs. The new album, Northern Lights, is the product of everything Zeds Dead has been working on for the past eight years, which includes elements from their background in hip-hop production. Staying loyal to their traditional heavy bass, the group promises to deliver hypnotic beats as they shift their style with dynamic combinations of dubstep and soft vocals, exploring a whole new genre with their new work. The album features collabs with Pusha T, Twin Shadow, Jadakiss, Styles P, Freddie Gibbs, Elliphant, Diplo and more. —MARINA PEDROSA 8pm. $30-$35. Electric

Watch the infinitely cool dragon boats race down the Schuylkill as teams of 20 rowers compete in heats throughout the day. 8am-5:30pm. Kelly Drive.

carnival-themed party will be hosted by celebrity MC Marc Summers and feature celebrity appearances and performances by Tony Pace, Almost Angels, Savannah Jack, The Unexpected Boys, Go Go Gadjet and DJ Perry. Noon-6pm. Free. Geno’s Steaks, 1219 S. Ninth St.

philadragonboatfestival.com

genosteaks.com

DR IN K

PART Y

McGillin’s Oktoberfest

Philly AIDS Thrift Birthday Bash

McGillin’s will be turning Drury Street into an outdoor beer garden, complete with live entertainment, German beers and foods. This year, the crew has joined forces with Fordham & Dominion Brewing Company to launch their very own Oktoberfest beer, which will be available for purchase during the fest. 11am. Free.

The organization celebrates its 11th anniversary by throwing a block party with balloonists, face painters, food trucks, artist and craft venders. The fest also features appearances by local personalities, including WXPN DJ Robert Drake, a performance by Dead Milkmen front man Joe Jack Talcum, and a sword-swallowing, fire-breathing clown. 11am. Free. Philly AIDS

McGillin’s Olde Ale House, 1310 Drury St. mcgillins.com

Thrift, 710 S. 5th St. phillyaidsthrift.com

Factory, 421 N 7th St. electricfactory.com DR IN K DRINK

8th Annual Charlie Brown Great Pumpkin Beer Festival This year’s festival (one of the biggest pumpkin beer festivals in the area) is serving more than 100 pumpkin beers, ciders, lambics and sours. With that many, you’re sure to find one you’ll love, or never want to look at another gourd again. 10:30am-6pm. $45-$55.

National Sake Day

PE RFORMANCE

Yakitori Boy celebrates National Sake Day with $5 Sake bombs and $5 Sake-tinis. 5-11pm. Yakitori Boy Japas

Ladies Sing the Blues

Lounge, 211 N. 11th St. yakitoriboy.com COMEDY

Jim Breuer

FESTI VA L

Former Saturday Night Live cast member and co-star of cult-classic Half-Baked heads to Philadelphia with his off-the-wall comedy. The funnyman has been named one of Comedy Central’s “100 Greatest StandUps of All Time.” 8pm. $45-$55. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen

Revolutionary Germantown Festival

St. thefillmorephilly.com

The Institute Bar, 549 N. 12th St. institutebar.ticketleap. com

The historic Battle of Germantown will be reenacted before your eyes. Celebrate the city’s rich history at the all-day fest with costumed characters, live music, food and drink. 10am-4pm. 6400 Block of Germantown Ave.

revolutionarygermantown.org

CELEB R ATION

Geno’s Steaks 50th Anniversary Geno’s hosts a 50th anniversary party this week to thank the community for its many years of loyalty. The

6 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Vocalists Catherine Russell, Brianna Thomas and Charenee Wade, backed by a seven piece band, channel the sound of four 1920s blues divas: Bessie Smith (the “Empress of the Blues”); Mamie Smith (the “Queen of the Blues”); Ma Rainey (the “Mother of the Blues”); and stage and screen icon, Ethel Waters. 8pm. $25-$55. An-

nenberg Center, 3680 Walnut St. annenbergcenter.org OUT DOORS

Olney Youth Arts Festival A multicultural celebration of youth creativity, this community fest focuses on dance performance. The awareness event will showcase a variety of genres, including breaking, hip-hop, salsa, capoeira, ballet, modern, classical Indian, praise and tap. Noon-4pm.

Free. 400 block of West Chew Avenue

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 2 EVENT

Walker Stalker Con Featuring cast members from the show— including Norman Reedus (Daryl, pictured) and Chandler Riggs (Carl)—commune with fellow Walking Dead fans and take part in photo-ops, Q&A panels, and more. Oct. 1-2.

$45-$100. Greater Philadelphia Expo Center, 100 Station Ave., Oaks. walkerstalkercon. com/philadelphia FESTI VA L

Made on American Street The Philly Homebrew Club hosts their annual event featuring barbecue ribs, chicken and home-brewed beer. The fest closes down North American street and fills it with a barbecue competition, homebrew samples, music from Splintered Sunlight, and much more. 2-6pm. $15-$25. 1400

North American Street. phillyhbc.org PART Y

Please Touch Museum 40th Birthday Celebration The kid-friendly museum celebrates 40 years with a blowout bash highlighting its proud history and bright future. Featuring live music and theatrical performances, along with a special appearance by Mayor Jim Kenney. 11am-5pm. Please Touch Mu-

seum, 4231 Avenue of the Republic. pleasetouchmuseum.org

MONDAY, OCTOBER 3 OUTDO O R S

Morris Arboretum Fall Festival Paint pumpkins, taste apples and make a scarecrow at the Morris Arboretum Fall Festival. ColonialLUG (LEGO user group) will be on hand to construct a huge LEGO version of the LOVE sculpture. Oct. 3-4. Morris Arboretum, 100 E. Northwestern Aven-

ue. morrisarboretum.org

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 4 MUSIC

Kanye West World’s biggest douche or musical genius? You can decide, when Yeezy makes a stop in Philly for his Saint Pablo Tour in support of his latest album, The Life of Pablo. 7pm. $29-$149. Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St. wellsfargocenterphilly.com

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 5 TALK

Professional Women’s Roundtable The current Director of Philadelphia’s Office of LGBT Affairs, Nellie Fitzpatrick, will be honored with the 2016 PoWeR award for her trailblazing efforts committed to diversity and inclusion. 5:30–8:30pm. $45-$55. Hard Rock Cafe, 12th and Market sts.

pwroundtable.com FOOD & D R I NK

YARDS Brew & Chew Beer dinners at Cavanaugh’s Rittenhouse return this fall, starting with this fourcourse dinner prepared and paired with Yards craft beers. Ticket price includes dinner and drinks, with a portion of proceeds going to breast cancer research. 7pm. $35.

Cavanaugh’s Rittenhouse, 1823 Sansom St. cavsrittenhouse.com phillyweekly.com | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 7

FEATURE | BY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

Pushing Forward Soccer phenom Abby Wambach heads to Philly to speak at the PA Conference for Women.

A

You’ve discussed that in several interviews, the fact that you don’t need to put your sexual orientation front and center because it doesn’t need to be—just like it isn’t for straight people. Do you hope that is the next step in LGBT equality? That it almost becomes a non-issue?

bby Wambach’s story has all the classic sports cliches: stunning talent, record breaking stats, and the inevitable fall from grace. But her candor has made that story, which includes two Olympic golds, becoming the highest international goal scorer among both men and women and battling alcohol and drug addiction (which quickly became public after a DUI this past spring), all the more human and approachable. The recently retired forward talked to PW about her struggles and achievements—which she details in her newly released and much-publicized book, Forward: A Memoir—ahead of her visit to the Pennsylvania Conference for Women in Philly next week.

I think that women and men struggle with it because it’s still in some places in the world frowned upon, looked down upon or even illegal. That’s why I just want to be a force of strength and shamelessness around my sexuality because there is nothing wrong with being gay, being straight, being bisexual, being transgender. I think we can get caught up in the political or religious debate around it, but I am who I am, whether you like it or not.

It sounds like you’re on a whirlwind media tour, what’s that been like for you, talking so much about such personal issues? Can it be tiring?

You talk quite openly about your struggles with addiction. What has that process been like, of becoming so public and candid with it?

The travel is tiring but I’m not tired of talking with people about my life and challenges. I feel like I can help people as I shed light on my journey.

What will you be discussing at the PA Conference for Women?

It’s important to have a discussion with attendees as a woman and a person who has been in a ďŹ ght for women’s rights over the last few years of my career. I think that equality is such a massive social issue right now, and it is an important key to our future. With our presidential election in November as a backdrop, I’m looking forward to discussing opportunities and ideas to make the world better. By focusing our attention on real equality, we need to start that important conversation about equality.

Why do you think conferences like this one are important for women?

One of the best things about being a participant in a conference is that you feel as though you are part of a community. Women need to share their stories, good or bad. They need to share because you feel less alone, you feel more engaged and like you can learn from each other. In addition, it’s important to network with others so we can all combine our forces and information to create a better space and environment to ďŹ x the problems that we are all facing every day in the workplace and beyond.

Speaking of women in America, you’ve lived in the world of female sports now for many years. Where do you think we’re at in terms of equality, and what does the status of female sports say about equality or lack thereof for women in general?

I think women in general have come a long way but still have to make a lot of progress. The U.S. Women’s National Team has been the leader across sports in many ways for contracts and athletes’ rights. This is just my lane and what I know. I think this is something I want to expand on and open myself up to learning more about.

Women in politics, women in business, Hollywood and what their struggles are.

Given all of your titles, awards and records, would your professional life look any different if you were a male athlete?

Yes, it would look very different if I was a male athlete.

That is something toward the end of my career that really drove me to want to go down this road of speaking up for women’s rights and equality. I looked at male athletes and saw a drastic difference in how they approached their “retirement� compared to what I would need to do to continue my way of life. I just want to make sure that the generation behind me do not have the same pay disparity across sport.

How did you set your style apart initially from other players?

First, I was always bigger and taller and I used those attributes as much as possible. I think one of the things in life that we all forget is that we try and emulate others who came before us, and what I tried to do is make myself, make my strengths magniďŹ ed. I was tall, so I worked on my heading as a kid and I was good at scoring goals and so [those] were the things that I really emphasized when I was trying out or playing on a team. And then in the off season I worked on things that I was not as good at. I think that philosophy helped my growth as a player.

What’s your advice to women who still feel the need to hide their sexual orientation? What have your learned from that struggle?

Yes, I think that in 2010 people were coming out and for me, I never felt the need to have to come out. If someone asks me a question, I would answer it but I am not going to walk in a room and just offer up what my sexual orientation is because it doesn’t matter. I think that the younger generations are starting to live that way and I think we can learn a lot from them because it should never matter who you choose as a partner.

8 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

The process has been very positive for me because I have known this was going to come out for months. I am just grateful my story is out there and I can actually talk about it in a productive, educational forum. I certainly do not know everything and that’s why I wanted to talk about this so soon after my DUI, because I think there is a lot of value and growth and hope in the place I am in now. Six months from now I will be even more educated and I will be able to learn and be public and open about that whole process.

What would you like other people, maybe who are struggling themselves, to know about addiction?

Were you self-medicating?

I think all of us have stuff that we are dealing with in our lives. Whether we are doing it in a public position like I was for so long or you are doing it privately by yourself.

The reason why I needed to self-medicate was because my pain was too much. I was trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be, So, yes, I was self-medicating and when I got the DUI, I was able to stop denying my problems. Talking about our issues shamelessly is important.

All it takes is one other person to hear your story, solicit help and feel a little better about themselves and disregard how the outside world is portraying them.

You retired last year, what does it feel like now?

Do you miss playing?

I do not miss playing soccer and I actually am enjoying this next chapter in my life. As you can tell, I am still learning about myself and I cannot wait to ďŹ nd out who I am over the coming weeks and years.

Beyond Wambach, the Conference this year includes keynote speaker Anita Hill along with Mindy Kaling, author Adam Grant and campus activist Annie Clark.

The one-day event also includes book signings, a social media roundtable, breakout sessions with experts in everything from health and spirituality to business and tech and an end-of-day wine tasting networking party.

Thurs., Oct. 6, 7:30am. PA Convention Center, 1101 Arch St. $190. paconferenceforwomen.org

NOW HOSTING OPEN INTERVIEWS Tuesdays, 9/27 & 10/4 4pm-6pm Wednesdays, 9/28 & 10/5 11:30am-1:30pm Thursdays, 9/29 & 10/6 10am-12pm Fridays, 9/30 & 10/7 1pm-3pm Harrah’s Philadelphia 6th Floor Training Room %%% 6O``OV¸a 0:D2 ’ 1VSabS` >/ ' !

Guy Fieri’s Philly Kitchen & Bar is now hiring for the following positions:

Hiring for the following positions: Food Servers Â’ 0ca >S`a]\a Â’ 4]]R @c\\S`a Â’ 6]ab 1OaVWS`a Â’ :W\S /bbS\RO\ba Â’ 1]]Ya Â’ 7\bS`[SRWObS 1]]Ya Â’ A]ca 1VST Prospective candidates are encouraged to wear their most rocking attire.

Candidates will be required to give a 30 second pitch as to why you should ride the bus to Flavortown.

Please apply prior to your arrival. Also, bring copies of an updated rĂŠsumĂŠ.

Please apply in advance to: www.caesars.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-Gambler

phillyweekly.com | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 9

SPORTS | BY ED CONDRAN @EddieScores

Chase Utley: For What?

For Who? For Philly

T

he end of another nightmarish Phillies season “They did?” Utley asked later in the locker room. “I is just about over. The fifth season in which the didn’t notice.” team has finished under .500 ends Sunday afterUtley, of course, was spectacular at the height of his noon. There is hope, primarily on the farm, but as far as run in Phillies pinstripes. the big league club goes, Maikel Franco and Aaron Nola But the same can be said for other players—Ryan regressed. Cesar Hernandez and Odubel Herrera pos- Howard, in particular, who never got quite the level of sess talent but need to play a headier brand of baseball. appreciation as Utley. Why doesn’t Howard, who put up There were some bright spots: Cameron Rupp’s historic numbers during his peak from 2005 to 2011, emergence, Roman Quinn’s unbelievable speed and get much love? The Big Piece, who will finish his Philsome unexpected pop at the plate from Tommy Joseph lies career with nearly 400 homers and 1,200 RBIs, has and Freddy Galvis. been targeted for abuse by Phillies fans ever since he As with so many seasons of late, however, much of blew out his Achilles at the end of the NLDS in 2011. the Phillies 2016 campaign was forgettable.

Maybe it’s racism, which bubbles beneath the surface in Except for that one very memorable mid-August any sports conversation in this town. Maybe it was that game at Citizens Bank Park. It will live in the minds of $125 million contract extension he got in 2009, though Phillies fans for generations: The day Chase Utley re- why fans can begrudge a man for collecting a salary is turned to Philadelphia. beyond rational thinking. After all, Cubs manager Joe Fans never had the chance to give the beloved sec- Maddon observed, “The Phillies don’t win that World ond baseman—the man who in 2008 declared us Series in 2008 without him.”

“World Fucking Champions”—the proper goodbye. So Maddon should know, of course, since he sat in the a respectable crowd turned out to pay its respects to a opposing dugout as the Tampa Rays lost to the Phils in sports icon who defined exactly what is means to be a five games. “I know how the fans are there,” Maddon Philly Guy. said. “I didn’t grow up that far away from Philadelphia By the time his new team, the Dodgers, arrived in since I’m from Hazelton. I think it’s less about Ryan town six weeks before the end of the season, the Phils Howard and more about how a player like Chase Utley were 15 games out of first and playing out the string. captured the imagination of Phillies fans. They love Utley appeared the same, old Chase when he came hard-nosed players in Philly. Utley is not only hardto the plate, even if he was wearing Dodger blue. His nosed but he is also a great player. You don’t see that familiar intensity seemed intact while striding a half- much anymore.” step quicker than any player in the game, with palpable It’s true. This city likes its players with dirt on their bad intent. jerseys. This is not a town for prima donnas. Think What happened that hot and humid evening felt about the incredibly talented Ricky “For Who, For What” scripted.

Watters, who could never shake his rep for putting Utley’s short, sweet swing produced a pair of homers. himself ahead of his team. “This is a town that appreOne was a majestic grand slam that ended the illusion ciates you putting the team in front of you,” said Nathat the overmatched Phillies could hang in there with tionals coach Davey Lopes. “There’s nobody in baseball the NL West-leading Dodgers. that has done that more than Utley. This is a guy that A lot of former Phillies have homered against the sacrificed his body for one reason, to win. I remember home team. Werth, Sandberg, that rat bastard Rod Ba- seeing that so much when I was the Phillies first base rajas. Then there was that infamous series in 1934, coach. Philly fans love that and there was a reason he when future Hall of Famer Chuck Klein—traded in the wasn’t booed, which is crazy since you get booed in this off-season to the Cubs—returned to the Baker Bowl and town no matter how great you are. Just ask Schmitty brutalized his ex-team with three home runs in back- [Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt] about that. They love a to-back games. guy that runs through a wall.”

But something different happened on the way to the Like Aaron Rowand in 2007, when he made the greatDodger dugout after Utley touched home plate. The est catch ever at Citizens Bank Park, breaking his nose Boo Birds rose and gave Chase “You Are The Man” Utley as he robbed the Mets Xavier Nady of a three-run triple. a standing ovation. Twice.

Rowand immortalized himself in the eyes of the fans Sure, Jim Thome got a brief ovation upon his return when, at a press conference a few weeks later, he resurto Citizens Bank Park as a Minnesota Twin after blast- rected the Watters quote. ing a ball over the center field fence in 2010. That was “For who, my teammates,” Rowand said. “For what, to a collective polite applause for a future Hall of Famer, win.” who was a class act during his brief but eventful PhilDodgers reliever Joe Blanton, a starter on the ‘08 lies career.

Phillies squad, said, “I think the fans here appreciate It was different for Utley. Phillies fans showered their someone who does all that he can to win. They apprecihero with a sustained hand, forcing Utley to reluctantly ate those who hustle. But they love to support a windoff his helmet from the opposing dugout steps. But that ner here. I’ll never forget the support from one sold-out wasn’t all. When the Phillies young stud Vincent Ve- game to the next here. It was electric. They make a lot lasquez struck out Utley, the faithful booed their own. of noise here.”

10 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Still, even as Utley’s numbers dropped in his last season in South Philly, why wasn’t he targeted, a lá Howard?

“It’s because Chase Utley built Citizens Bank Park,” said Jason Werth, the ex-Phillie who got (and still gets) his share of boos. “Chase is the greatest player to ever wear a Phillies uniform. But it’s more than that. Chase plays the game the right way. He plays with such grit and determination.”

Werth nails it. Philadelphia loves guys who play bluecollar ball. Utley is an unusual package and the anomaly in today’s game. He busts it on the basepaths and is uncannily smart. Entering the season, he stole 143 bases, while being caught just 18 times. He’s sacrificed his body playing with the kick-the-snot-out-of-you aggression of an NFL linebacker, as Ruben Tejada and Mets fans learned during last year’s playoffs. Though he possesses remarkable talent, Utley still plays like the 25th man trying to keep his spot on the roster.

As the Phillies shuffle toward the ‘17 season, it’s apparent the roster doesn’t have an Utley, a gifted ballplayer with an off-the-charts baseball IQ, who plays like his hair’s on fire.

“But to be fair to the Phillies, there aren’t many guys like that in the game today,” Washington Nationals Dusty Baker said. “No wonder Phillies fans still love Utley.”

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STAGE | BY A.D. AMOROSI @ADAmorosi

The FiscalArts of FringeArts How the popular nonprofit earns its keep.

A

fter 20 years of being the boss of Philadelphia’s Fringe Festival, Nick Stuccio really ought to be able to relax and designate responsibility.

Yet, there he was during Saturday’s final night of this year’s Fringe Festival, the cofounder, president, producing director, moving cocktail tables and helping people find seats like any officious usher before the start of Martha Graham Cracker’s cabaret. This after having battled Saturday night traffic from Chestnut Street’s Prince Theater to witness FringeArts’ Opera Philadelphia partnership in a musical Congolese take on Verdi’s “Macbeth.”

“You can never stop working.”

Stuccio made that remark days prior to Saturday’s party, a nod toward his nonprofit Fringe Festival, as well as the ongoing operations of FringeArts HQ and Le Peg bar/restaurant on Race Street. How does a major performing arts outfit—with its own venue—manage grant, donation and charitable dollars with straight-ahead ticketing for its own productions?

As he’s moving about the room, Stuccio reminds cabaret attendees that tickets are still left for Thursday’s Feastival fundraiser, one where chefs and bartenders from across the city donate time, skill, food and booze to raise money to pay off the Fest’s bills.

It’s all part of the hustle, keeping FringeArts’ wheels greased and financed so that it can maintain its footing as one of the world’s most dynamic performance arts festivals. One where the likes of famed Italian director Romeo Castelluci, and Ivo van Hove, the Belgian theater director, hold court almost annually with exclusive American premieres.

The impact of Stuccio’s organization on artistic creativity is clear. As Brett Bailey, the director of Third World Bunfight Performing Company, noted from his offices in Cape Town, South Africa: “I set the drama of Macbeth within a context of the wars and the ruthless mineral exploitation by local and multinational powers.

We did it there because FringeArts believes in such work.”

“FringeArts lives among a dozen festivals and venues in the U.S. that are actively curating the best from around the world, including Under The Radar, PICA in Portland, the Walker Art Center, The Wexner Center, ART in Boston, REDCAT in LA and Fusebox in Austin,” said Quinn Bauriedel, co-founding director of the Pig Iron Theatre Company. “Fringe strikes the balance between being a festival that supports lo-

FringeArts’ co-founder Nick Stuccio

cal artists and introduces international artists to its audiences and its artists.”

To that prestige, add a regular cast from Philadelphia’s performance creative class—members of the Pig Irons, the New Paradise Labs, the Wilmas—alone, or in partnership with other local arts outfits (e.g. the Barnes, Ars Nova, Opera Philadelphia) and the entirety of this city’s theater/arts/musical community becomes one within the FringeArts framework.

“FringeArts is many things, but one of its most important functions is as a lever,” said New Paradise Laboratories’ cofounder/director Whit MacLaughlin. “It leverages money for its artists and pays them. Much of the work of producing is on the shoulders of the individual artist, but the job is made easier and reliable by attention paid by FringeArts.”

If Philly’s performing arts scene was a Godfather movie, Nick Stuccio would be a Don—a Pacino, more so than a Brando, making certain his family is provided for in its future.

Nothing happens easily or cheaply, and funding for FringeArts has come from a grants bank including longtime support from the William Penn Foundation, the Independence Foundation and the Pew Foundation. These donors provide up to 80 percent of FringeArts’ funding, with interested Philadelphia audiences making up the remainder.

“They have a strong board and relationships with local funders,” observed Bauriedel. “FringeArts serves so many

different interests and serves them well that they are a natural fit for funders interested in making Philadelphia a livable place for artists and non-artists alike.”

For such an arts foothold, however, you have to do the legwork to keep the money coming in. “Everything’s doubled since my start 10 festivals ago—that’s how I measure time,” said FringeArts Finance Director Melissa E. Bridge. “Our staff was nine people then, and is now 19. Our budget was around $1.5 million then, and now we’re at $3 million.”

Within that small-ish not-for-profit framework (small in comparison to, say, the Orchestra or the Museum of Art, whose budgets are 10 times that of FringeArts), every foundation dollar, every donation, every ticket sale, every bar and restaurant receipt counts.

Stuccio said FringeArts has a “modest methodology” and “a small-but-sophisticated fundraising department” that keeps its finger on the pulse of foundation monies. Much of the revenue “comes in waves and cycles,” he said. Some of the funding is “project-based,” which means it’s tied directly to specific performances, such as director Castelluci’s Julius Caesar and Macbeth. Those run between $200,000 and $300,000 each—but the payoff is huge, Stuccio said. “Remember, too, that we do entire weeks around some of these shows—like bringing in experts to give a piece context or to complement it, like bringing in those in the political know from the Congo to discuss the cur-

rent politics around Macbeth.”

Along with producing notorious and radical work, FringeArts is creating demand, giving Philadelphia nearly exclusive access to artists seen rarely in America. “People who love Catelluci or Lucinda Childs or vanHove know we work with Castelluci or Lucinda Childs and van Hove, and that to see their work, Philadelphia is a haven,” Stuccio said.

FringeArts fills other budget holes by developing unique partnerships with other producers. For example, this year it paired with the Barnes Foundation, the University of the Arts and Drexel University for several of its works. According to FringeArts marketing honcho Haillie Martenson, the organization split ticket sales with Opera Philadelphia to present Macbeth. Next year, it will partner with Ars Nova Workshop, a smaller avantgarde jazz organization whose pockets are short, but whose influence amongst Philly’s cognescenti looms large.

“It depends on the partnership—every agreement is different,” said Martenson.

Then there is the stable jewel in its crown, the FringeArts’ HQ and Le Peg restaurant.

FringeArts purchased the former High Pressure Fire Service building at the base of Race on Columbus Boulevard in June 2012 for $750,000, with renovations reaching about $7 million. The cost was underwritten by individual donors, foundations and others whose support was driven at least partly by the value of FringeArts to the local economy. A 2010 study by the Greater Philadelphia Cultural Alliance estimated that Fringe generates almost $8 million from its performances and related theater tourism.

“Foundations and individual donors are trying to figure out how to divide their monies wisely,” Stuccio said. “So we’re trying to figure more ways to earn money, and one of those concepts was this building.”

But even those added new revenues aren’t enough to give Stuccio a break from moving cocktail tables, ushering guests and hawking tix to the Fringe wrap-up Feastival. The event should raise about $290,000. Enough to keep the lights on for another year.

But as Stuccio noted, “No one here drives a nice car.”

2016 Audi Feastival: Thurs., Sept. 29, 7-10pm. $300. FringeArts, 140 N. Columbus Blvd. phillyfeastival.com

phillyweekly.com | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 13

OUTDOOR | BY JOHN DAVIS

Fall Festivals in Philly

F

all kicks off with a flurry of festivals, offering an assortment of food and fun. From delicious markets at the Navy Yard to Harry Potter celebrations, there is no shortage of festivals to attend this season.

Midtown Village Fall Festival Leading the pack this season is the Midtown Village Fall Festival. The all-day party closes down 13th Street from Market to Locust Street and attracts close to 50,000 people each year. Eight beer gardens will offer local craft brews and booths will be set up for streetside shopping. Head over to Brü at 13th and Chestnut for eight hours of live music, German eats, craft beer and more (pictured). Oct. 1. 13th and

Chestnut sts. midtownvillagephilly.org

Go West, Craft Fest Features more than 80 craft vendors selling their unique wares, including Behold Bungee Hammocks, Good Sense Farm, Grown Up Jewelry and Jayne Ellen Pots.

Homemade crafts aren’t all this festival has to offer: Tinycircus by Tangle Movement Arts will perform an acrobatic feat on high ropes and trapeze swings to entertain the crowds. Yummy eats—including fish tacos and ice cream—along with smooth trumpet and guitar music round out the festivities. Oct. 1, 11am-5pm. The

Woodlands, 40th and Woodland sts. gowestcraftfest.com

Night Market Philadelphia Dozens of the city’s food trucks converge on the Navy Yard to serve delectable cuisine from all cultures. Enjoy everything from tacos and fried cheese curds to pizza and ice cream. While your taste buds enjoy ethnic foods from all of Philly, your eardrums can delight in concert-style entertainment and performances from local musicians. Oct. 6, 6-10pm. Navy Yard,

Broad and Intrepid Ave. thefoodtrust.org

PHeaSt Philadelphia’s gardeners and top chefs unite for the PHeaSt Festival, another big event hitting the Navy Yard during the fall. The Philadelphia Horticultural Society wishes to bring awareness to its mission of a greener and fresher Philadelphia by showcasing how fresh produce can translate into delicious meals. PHS teams up with Agno Grill, Davio’s, Revolution Taco, and Chef Joseph E. Shilling to bring you savory garden-based dishes paired with hand-crafted cocktails and beer. Oct. 7, 7-10pm. $150-$300. The PHS

Warehouse at the Navy Yard, 5201 S. 13th St. phsonline.org/pheast 14 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Downtown River City Festival The festival kicks off with a 5k fun run through Fishtown that ends at Penn Treaty Park, all to support the Fishtown Neighbors Association. Fishtown Beer Runners, a partner of the festival, plans to serve beer, water and other refreshments at the end of the run. For the kiddies, head to the moon bounce, Philadelphia “Zoo on Wheels,” and face-painting area. The fest will also feature live performances from Creepoid, Amanda X, and Creem Circus.

Oct. 8, Noon-6pm. Penn Treaty Park, 1199 N. Delaware Ave. rivercityfestival.org

Outfest The huge LGBT celebration will cover an 8-10 block area, from Walnut Street to Spruce Street in between 12th and 13th.

Businesses located around the fest will offer specials on drinks, food and merch.

Local bars such as Tabu and Boxers plan to sponsor a series of performances on the main stage of the block party, along with a belly dance competition and high heel race. Oct. 9, Noon-6pm. phillygaypride.org

Old City Festival Browse pieces of local art from Old City’s best galleries, including Avra Art, Muse Gallery, Arch Enemy Arts and The Snyderman. While your eyes enjoy the many different styles of art Old City has to offer, enjoy dining options from local haunts, including the Red Owl Tavern, Sassafras Bar, and High Street On Market. Oct. 9,

11am-6pm. 3rd and Arch. oldcitydistrict.org

Harry Potter Festival The festival features a late night pub crawl to Campbell’s Place and Iron Hill Brewery and a literary book reading and literature conference at Chestnut Hill College. A Hogwarts express train will pull into Jefferson Station to transport look-alikes of everyone’s favorite Hogwarts characters.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Harry Potter Festival without some Quidditch. The tournament takes place at Chestnut Hill Community College and lasts throughout the day. Oct. 20-22. Germantown Ave. chc.edu/broomstick

NEWS | BY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

The Debaties Our awards for most everything about Monday’s debate.

W

e all watched it, we all made our thumbs sore scrolling through Twitter, and then we all talked about it to actual humans IRL the next morning. Part democratic process, part Super Bowl entertainment and part train-wreck voyeurism, the first of three presidential debates between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump didn’t disappoint. Ninety minutes and then some flew by, just like moderator Lester Holt promised us they would.

Until the next debate night, scheduled Oct. 9, here’s our highlight reel of this seminal event—even if the mere fact that Donald Trump was standing up there at an actual presidential debate is mind-boggling enough.

Most Suspenseful Moment Clinton got the first chance to speak, and like staged awkwardness on a reality show, included in her opening remarks: “Finally, we tonight are on the stage together, Donald Trump and I. Donald, it’s good to be with you. We are going to have a debate where we are talking about the important issues facing our country. You have to judge us.” Heart pounding like the ball’s gonna drop on NYE, shit just got real.

Most Hashtag-able Moments In his opening remarks on the subject of “Achieving Prosperity,” Trump did two things: 1. He went on a tangent about jobs “fleeing” to Mexico—Trump brought up Mexico six times and China 11 times over the course of the debate—making the pitch that, wait for it... he’d reduce taxes by half for himself, essentially. “Under my plan I will be reducing taxes tremendously from 35 percent to 15 percent for companies, small and big businesses.” #fleeingtomexico can now be used as an excuse for virtually anything.

2. #SnifflingTrump. No, it’s not a Hannity thing.

“And take a look at mine.” He did, however, battle back to plug his new D.C. hotel and multiple properties.

Biggest Missed Opportunity Clinton got off easy when Trump brought up her 33,000 deleted emails, yet didn’t challenge her when she admitted a faux pas. He was too busy trying to explain why not paying federal taxes would make him a smarter commander in chief.

Most Obvious Dodge Trump changing the word “looks” to “stamina” when challenged on comments he made about Clinton—all the while gasping and chugging down water like a dying mule.

Biggest Setback for Humanity The moment Sean Hannity’s name got uttered on a presidential debate stage.

Most Awkward Moment of the Night Though it’s a big surprise there weren’t more cringy moments to choose from, there were two uncomfortable moments: When Trump turned to face Clinton and stumbled with the line: “Secretary Clinton...yes? Is that OK? Good, I want you to be very happy. It’s very important to me.” Hill proceeded to call him Donald throughout the entire debate. Also: When Trump pretended to like black people by pitching to them how great “stop and frisk” would be for their lives in “hell.”

Biggest Eye-Rolling Moment

The Resting Bitch Face that Clinton pulled out every time Trump opened his mouth.

When Trump was dodging the filing of income tax returns question by instead dropping a line about the $694 million he brought in this year, like a thirsty guy on Facebook randomly messaging you his imagined dick size. “My lawyers—they say don’t do it.” They should tell him that more often.

Best Use of Debate Time

Best Trump Takeaway

Clinton managed to get in some unapologetic self-promotion while referring to her economic plan. “In fact, I’ve written a book about it. It’s called, Stronger Together. You can pick it up tomorrow at a bookstore or an airport near you.” Who could’ve predicted she’d be the one peddling shit? She even got in a second plug for the “HillaryClinton. com fact checker.” And Trump for once was out pitchman-ed when he could only retort,

That our roads are falling apart, our tunnels and bridges are disintegrating and our airports are shit. And that’s why America ain’t great anymore.

Worst Hope at a Catchphrase “Trumped-up trickle down.”

Best Use of Facial Expressions

YOUR MORTGAGE LENDERS Right around the corner!

Most Out-of-Touch Moment “I opened a club in Palm Beach and I didn’t discriminate,” Trump said, referring to his open membership policy at Mar-a-Lago where anyone with a spare $100,000 can join.

phillyweekly.com | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 15

NEWS | BY JACQEULINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

Scam City Seven ways Philadelphians are losing their money to swindlers.

I

t never fails to impress just how creative Philadelphians can be when it comes to making a buck or two—especially when said creativity is less than legal. This year has seen its fair share of novel means to separate unsuspecting locals from their hard-earned dough. Here’s a round-up of ongoing shakedowns, con games and hustles. (Please consider the following a warning… and not inspiration.)

Power Play You get a phone call from PECO telling you that, unless you wire a couple of thousand dollars, the electric company is going to shut off your power. If you’re a small business this can especially send you into a panic. Weird twist: Instead of wired cash, some scammers demand Visa gift cards.

Sounds dumb, but some are falling for it.

Neighbor Swap This one was described to us by a Realtor in South Philly. A house goes on the market, and someone with locksmith skillz picks the locks and starts showing it to potential renters. He collects the first and last months’ rent, a security deposit and is nowhere to be found when the real buyers finally show up to discover the scammed renters.

The IRS is after you Similar to the PECO scam, but way more scary. A threatening caller informs you that you owe money to the IRS and if you don’t pay right now, you’re fucked. Like, going-to-jail fucked. Now, you might tell the pretend tax agent on the other end of the phone to go to hell, but not your widowed mom. She’s shaking in her LaZ-Boy. Elderly people, in particular, have wired thousands of dollars to these scam artists, worried they’re about to be hauled off to prison on tax evasion charges.

Forgetful Taxi Drivers This has happened three times now to people in our office. You try to support your local cabbie instead of hitting the Uber button on your phone. You get in, the driver greets you, and off you go. Except he never turns on his fare box, or he leaves it stopped with the last fare still showing on the display. You think, “This guy obviously knows what he’s doing, he’ll hit the buttons necessary to give me a fair fare.” You get immersed in those inane Ellen clips on the foggy backseat screen. You wonder who was sitting in this seat and remind yourself not to get into bed with these clothes. Then you arrive at your destination. You look up to see the damage, and the fare box is still

16 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

off. You look to the driver, he looks at you confused, looks at the box, looks at you and then makes a half-hearted frustrated sigh that he must not have turned the fare counter on. “Oh… how can this be? Hmprf. Well, just give me $15.” As if he’s cutting you some kind of break. You leave wondering if you just got taken for a real ride.

of the year. A South Philly tow truck operator is alleged to have trapped drivers by hiding a no-parking sign in front of a construction entrance. Someone snags a rock-star spot on South Broad, the sign comes out and the tow guy appears. And you thought the PPA was crooked.

Can I see your insurance card please?

While one South Philly tow company was baiting drivers with free parking, another business was pulling a bait and switch to get car shoppers to buy stolen rides. Stripping the VIN off of old trash models they found on online auctions, a pair of scam artists allegedly used the IDs—along with fabricated car histories—to make stolen rental cars look legit. It worked at least 30 times till they got caught.

Getting old sucks, and here’s one more reason. You get people that are always trying to trick you out of your cash because you’re not up on the latest technology. But sometimes it’s just about getting outwitted over the phone. A few enterprising thieves use the income tax scam method above with a slight twist. They call up elderly folks and ask them for their Medicare information, under the guise of needing to assist them with their plan.

They then charge the insurance for all kinds of tests and equipment the victim didn’t need or even receive.

Tow Truck Magic This has is the running for nastiest scam

Another Switcheroo

TransPass DIY It’s not easy to make fake TransPasses, but two city workers managed to do with it a magnetic card reader/writer. The fakes were passable enough that they could sell them for half off the actual price. The counterfeits—more than 2,000 of them over two years—were eventually traced back to the workers, and now they face up to 20 years in jail.

EVERY SECRET IS A LIE. EVERY WITNESS IS A SUSPECT. INVITES YOU AND A GUEST TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING OF

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Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Universal Pictures, all promo partners and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any lost or accident occurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if for any reason, winner is unable to use his/ her ticket in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. Participating sponsors, their employees & family members and their agencies are not eligible. NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE!

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phillyweekly.com | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 17

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Cheats I

’m a guy, 35, and a cheating piece of shit.

I’m engaged to a woman I love, but earlier this year I cheated on her. I have no excuse. She discovered the dating app I used, and we worked through that. But she doesn’t know that shortly after her discovery, I went ahead and cheated. To my meager credit, I did seek out only women who were looking for NSA hookups. But I quickly came to realize how big of a mistake this was, how much I love my ďŹ ancĂŠe, and that I’m a shitty person. I see a therapist, and he advised that, if I’m certain this was a one-time thing, and if I’m convinced that I’m happy with my ďŹ ancĂŠe, I should keep quiet. I shouldn’t burden my ďŹ ancĂŠe with this knowledge. I’m inclined to agree but, dear God, the guilt. I feel like I’m not the person my ďŹ ancĂŠe thought I was. What do I do? Should I just accept this as a lesson learned and keep it to myself? Perhaps there’s selďŹ shness at play here, since I’m trying to make myself feel better, but I’m struggling. —Can’t Personally Overlook SelďŹ shness I’m with your therapist, CPOS—and, hey, it’s nice to see “keep your mouth shut about a one-time inďŹ delityâ€? make the jump from our ďŹ ner advice columns (Dear Prudence, Dear Sugar, Savage Love) to some of our actual therapists.

While honesty (best policy) and confession (good for the soul) get all the positive press, there are times when unburdening yourself is absolutely the wrong thing to do. The person who confesses may wind up feeling better—because at least now they’re being honest—but the person to whom they’ve confessed can wind up feeling a whole lot worse. Some burdens should be borne not shifted. If your ďŹ ancĂŠe is going to inevitably ďŹ nd out, CPOS, better she ďŹ nd out about it from you. But if the secret can be kept and if living with the guilt motivates you not to cheat again, then you can keep your mouth shut with a semi-clear-ish conscience.

This advice is not a license for serial adulterers. If you can’t be faithful to someone— if that’s what you discovered when you had the affair—then you should extract yourself from the monogamous commitment you’ve already made to your ďŹ ancĂŠe and refrain from making monogamous commitments to anyone else in the future. But if you honestly believe you can be faithful, CPOS, you don’t have to see yourself as a cheating piece of shit. A serial adulterer/betrayer/ liar is a cheating piece of shit; someone who cheated once, regrets it, and makes a good-faith, multi-decade effort not to do it again is a fallible human being.

My boyfriend of ďŹ ve years is a sweet, smart, handsome, loving, supportive, middle-aged,

chubby white guy. We have a fulďŹ lling sex life.

When we ďŹ rst met, he shared a fantasy he had about watching me get fucked by a black guy. (He knows it’s not something I’m interested in IRL.) I’ve caught him several times posing online as a young, buff, handsome black guy looking for a “snowbunny.â€? I call him out on it every time, and it causes huge ďŹ ghts. He says he’ll stop, but he never does.

Weighed against all his other good qualities, this isn’t that big of a deal. Clearly he’s not going to meet up with the women he’s chatting with. What makes me sad is that I adore him as he is—I love his big white belly, his bald head, and his rosy cheeks. I think I do a good job of communicating this to him. I guess I’m writing to you for some reassurance that I’m doing the right thing by letting this behavior go and also for some insight into why he’s doing it in the ďŹ rst place. —Upset Girlfriend Hates Eroticized Racial Secrets If this isn’t that big of a deal, UGHERS, why are you calling him out on it? Why are you monitoring his online activities/fantasies at all?

What your boyfriend is doing sounds relatively harmless—he’s pretending to be someone he’s not while irting with other people online who are most likely pretending to be someone they’re not. (I promise you most of the “snowbunniesâ€? he’s chatted with were other men.) The world is full of people who enjoy pretending to be someone they’re not, from cosplayers pretending to be Captain America or Poison Ivy to creative anachronists pretending to be knights and ladies to Donald Trump Jr. pretending to be a human being.

We can’t gloss over the racial/racist cultural forces that shaped your boyfriend’s kinks, of course, but it’s possible to explore those kinds of fantasies online or IRL without being a racist piece of shit.

And a person can pretend to be someone of another race online—because it turns them on—without injecting racial hate into online spaces and/or thoughtlessly reinforcing damaging stereotypes about people of other races. You’ve seen your boyfriend’s online chats, UGHERS, so you’re in a better position to judge whether he’s exploring his fantasies without making the world a worse place than it already is for actual black men.

If he’s being a racist piece of shit online, UGHERS, call him out on that. If he isn’t, stop policing his fantasies. „

There’s more Savage Love!

Read more at ph.ly/savage Ask a question: mail@savagelove.net

18 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

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OPEN HOUSES: Wednesday, 9/28/16 5-7pm Sunday, 10/2/16 noon-2:00pm RITZ-CARLTON RESIDENCES 1414 S. Penn Sq., Phila., PA 19102

Residence 29H 2 Bed, 2.5 Bath For Rent- Reduced to $4800 mo.

Hi-Floor- Stunning views 10 ft. ceilings Bryant & Wilde Realty, LLC 210 W. Rittenhouse Sq. | Suite 405 | Phila., PA 19103 www.bryantrealty.com | sales@ bryantrealty.com Diane Bryant: 610-529-8000 | Margie Wilde: 215-888.8500 OfďŹ ce: 215.893.6100 | Fax: 215.644.8826

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@ WEEKLY PHILLY

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Real Estate

phillyweekly.com | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 19

PW C L A S S I F I E D S

PW

CLASSIFIED

LISTINGS phillyweekly.com

For more information contact: RealEstate@ phillyweekly.com

EMPLOYMENT Career Training

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PFCU 7XMV 0W][M Saturday, October 8, 2016 9:30am - 11:30am 12800 TOWNSEND ROAD, PHILADELPHIA, PA 19154

ACCEPTING RESUMES FOR FULL-TIME AND PART-TIME POSITIONS AVAILABLE AT OUR

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20 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

For vendor participation please contact Bob Jacobs at bjacobs@bsmphilly.com

PW R E A L

ESTATE

THINKING OF SELLING? THINKING OF BUYING?

PW REAL ESTATE

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FEATURED OPEN HOUSES Sunday ! [V ! : 3,0;/.6> :; 8<,,5 =033(., NEW LISTING! $325,000 74 E. Laurel 5VY[OLYU 3PILY[PLZ $560,000 : *VS\TI\Z )S]K

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8\LLU =PSSHNL $619,900 *OYPZ[PHU :[YLL[

8\LLU =PSSHNL $705,000

1334 KATER ST $1,400,000 BELLA VISTA

130 SPRUCE ST UNIT #11B SOCIETY HILL

$739,900

232-36 WALNUT $16,795,000 SOCIETY HILL

Kater Court Townhomes. Stunning NEW Construction homes with ELEVATORS, 2-CAR Garages, (5) outdoor spaces and 4000 square feet of living space!

Kater Court boasts 5 bedrooms plus two dens, 3.5 bathrooms and amazing custom ďŹ nishes throughout. There are 6ft long x 8 in wide hardwood ďŹ&#x201A;ooring planks throughout, 9-15ft ceiling heights, interior iron railing system, double roof deck! Finished basement, ďŹ replace, spa-like bathrooms, 8ft windows, amazing city views, green roof, 10 year tax abatement, Smart Home system... the list doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t end!

Society Hill Gated Garden Community. SigniďŹ cant outdoor entertainment roof space with views is the advantage to this 2-3 bed, 2 bath, bi-level home with private parking. Arrive thru the gate bronze security doors on Delancey St: Step into beautifully landscaped gardens + private courtyards (pool). Enter thru the homes atrium style stairs into the 1st ďŹ&#x201A;r of this sunny, move-in ready condominium. An open ďŹ&#x201A;oor plan provides an easy ďŹ&#x201A;ow from room to room + features beautiful maple hardwood ďŹ&#x201A;rs. Must see it today!

Notably one of the ďŹ nest homes ever built in Center City, prominently located in the premier historic Society Hill location, footsteps from Independence Hall, the birthplace of America. This dramatic masterpiece was built approx. 16 years ago with high quality top of the line details and ďŹ nishes. An incredible garden sprawls across the property, complete with a koi pond and mature shrubbery/trees, while a covered walkway allows for easy access from the home to the immaculate 5-car garage.

! [V ! : ;/ :; ),33( =0:;( $1,275,000

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8\LLU =PSSHNL $619,900 : UK :[YLL[ 8\LLU =PSSHNL Sale $859,000 Rent $3700

740 S COLUMBUS BLVD UNIT #22 $835,000 QUEEN VILLAGE

150 VINE ST OLD CITY

OLD CITY

Extra-large new construction 3BD/3BA home in the Meredith school catchment in Queen Village! Features include 1-car parking, enormous roof deck with wet bar in the pilot house, patio with brick pavers and luxurious amenities throughout, 3000 SF of luxurious living space and a tax Abatement! The designer kitchen has Bosch stainless steel appliances, quartz counters and island, tile backsplash, vent hood, and lots of cabinets and counter space- the ideal spot for entertaining!

Spectacular new homes with every amenity imaginable!

Riverside Luxury Townhomes have 5,200+ SF of living space built by a meticulous custom home builder. Features include 2-car garages, approved tax abatementâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ($1044 /2016), theater rooms, a 6-stop elevator, 3 zoned HVAC systems, smart home technology systems and 4 outdoor spaces including an amazing roof deck.

Each home has 4 to 5 bedroom layouts plus bonus rooms, 5 full bathrooms, and one half bathroom.

The Ross, New Construction Luxury Townhomes are remarkably customized smart technology-homes.

The Ross includes a 2-3 car garage, an Automated 6-story elevator and a 5th ďŹ&#x201A;oor roof garden with Jacuzzi tub, outdoor gas ďŹ replace, Mahogany walls and a full kitchen with stone counters, a Webber grille, outdoor speakers, video connections and ample accent lighting. Some other amazing features at The Ross include a wine cellar, Ten year tax abatement, cathedral ceilings, and (5) outdoor spaces.

$2,000,000

242 ARCH ST

$2,250,000

! [V ! : [O :[ ( >HZOPUN[VU :X\HYL $299,900 phillyweekly.com | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 21

PW R E A L

ESTATE

The Damon Michels Team

WEEKLY MORTGAGE RATES Presented by Prudential Savings Bank

30YR Fixed Rate Mortgage Rate 3.50% APR 3.53% Rates as of September 26, 2016 10:00 AM. *APR= Annual Percentage Rate. Rates subject to change daily (including same day). For real time rates, please call 215-755-1500. The rate you receive may be higher based on credit score, mortgage loan-to-value ratio and other loan factors. Please call for Jumbo Rates (above $417,000). Subject to credit approval. Property insurance required. Loan to values from 80% to 97% require PMI (Private Mortgage Insurance). Other costs and fees may apply. Monthly P&I payment of $1,189.97 based on a $265,000.00 loan amount, 360-month term, assumed credit score of 740 & loan-to-value of 80%. *P&I= Principal and Interest. These payments do not include amounts for taxes and insurance premiums; actual payment will be greater. NMLS #518005

You can either

go along for the ride or...

610.668.3400

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Specializing in MainLine & Center Cityâ&#x20AC;?

Damon Michels Damon@DamonMichels.com 160 Homes www.DamonMichels.com Sold in 2015

SHEFFIELD COURT

The William Penn House - Center City Living!

OLD 75% S 4 New construction Carriage homes starting at $599,000 4 beds/3.1 baths; 2 car garage; Open Floor plan with 2600+ Sq ft

I`kk\e_flj\ JhlXi\ Â&#x203A; Iff]kfg Gffc Â&#x203A; =`ke\jj :\ek\iÂ&#x203A; MXc\k GXib`e^ Â&#x203A; )+ ?i J\Zli`kp )+ ?i DX`ek\eXeZ\ Studios $130,000 to $160,000 1 Bedrooms $250,000 to $300,000 2 Bedrooms $300,000 to $450,000 3 Bedrooms $400,000 to $550,000 @eZcl[\j i\Xc \jkXk\ kXo Â&#x203A; Ef kiXej]\i kXo

1220 N Howard St, Fishtown ,''' jh ]k Jkl[`f n&cf]k (#*''#''' MAIN LINE SUBURBS NEW LISTINGS NEW LISTINGS JUST REDUCED 401 Hidden River Road, Penn Valley 4421 E Allen St, Philadelphia 907 E Darby Rd, Havertown + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )+/+ jh ]k :fek\dgfiXip ) 9\[&) 9Xk_2 0-' jh ]k Ifn_fd\ + 9\[&) 9Xk_2 (--+ jh ]k Kfne_flj\ )+)#''' ,00#''' (,/#),' 30 Liberty Ln, Phoenixville 442 Fawn Hill Lane, Penn Valley 2201 Chestnut St #804, + 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 +*'( jh ]k :fcfe`Xc 0.,#''' + 9\[&* 9Xk_2 )/0' jh ]k :fek\dgfiXip +.,#''' Rittenhouse Sq 416 Woodside Ave, Narberth 134 Iron Works Way, Wayne ) 9\[& (%( 9Xk_2 (),' jh ]k :fe[f , 9\[&)%( 9Xk_ :fcfe`Xc -00#''' ) 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 (0(0 jh ]k :fe[f /.,#''' *00#0'' 240 Twinings Lane, Wayne 732-734 Preston Ave, Bryn Mawr 315-17 N Front St #317, Old City , 9\[&,%) 9Xk_2 .))( jh ]k :fcfe`Xc (#,00#0'' + 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 )0-. jh ]k :fcfe`Xc ,00#''' * 9\[&* 9Xk_2 )0// jh ]k Kfne_fd\ 330 Lakeview Ave, Drexel Hill 138 Montrose Ave #56, Bryn Mawr -,'#''' * 9\[&( 9Xk_2 (,,' jh ]k Kn`e ()+#0'' * 9\[&* 9Xk_2 *')- jh ]k Kfne_fd\ */'#''' 2116 Naudain St, Rittenhouse Sq 6 Buttonwood Dr, Exton 306 Clwyd Road, Bala Cynwyd + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )//' jh ]k Kfne_fd\ * 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 (,/' jh ]k Kfn_flj\ )0.#''' , 9\[&)%* 9Xk_2 ,+)' jh ]k IXeZ_ .+0#''' (#(,'#''' 18 Forest View Road, Rose Valley 200 Walnut Avenue, Wayne , 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 *,)/ jh ]k :fcfe`Xc -00#''' - 9\[&* 9Xk_ M`Zkfi`Xe n&>l\jk ?flj\ 2346 N Park Ave, Temple University 559 Manayunk Rd, Bala Cynwyd (#(00#''' )#//' jh ]k Ki`gc\o */0#000 + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 ).'/ jh ]k :fcfe`Xc ,+0#''' 5404 Parkview Drive, Haverford 828 Summit Road, Penn Valley * 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )0-) jh ]k :fe[f 000#000 1115 W Dauphin St, Temple University + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 ),/' jh ]k :fek\dgfiXip 4812 Church Road, Doylestown - 9\[&) 9Xk_2 (,/* jh ]k Ifn_fd\ .+0#000 - 9\[&, 9Xk_2 -++* jh ]k :fcfe`Xc (.0#''' 1431 Wesleys Run, Gladwyne (#-,'#''' 1919 Walnut Street, Rittenhouse Square + 9\[&+%( 9Xk_2 ,+'' jh ]k Xk Efik_nff[ 300 Lawrence Road, Broomall .#''' jh ]k :fdd\iZ`Xc JgXZ\ (#'.,#''' * 9\[&* 9Xk_2 )''' jh ]k IXeZ_ *-,#''' )#0,'#''' JUST REDUCED CONDO LIVING 8 White Horse Mdws, Malvern 1600 Hagys Ford, Penn Valley , 9\[&,%) 9Xk_1 -)/' jh ]k :fcfe`Xc (#*+0#000 190 Presidential Blvd #417, Bala Cynwyd Le`k )A1 ) 9\[&(%( 9Xk_2 0-, jh ]k ((0#''' 704 Kenmare Road, Bala Cynwyd ) 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )('' jh ]k :fe[f -00#''' Le`k />1 ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 .-- jh ]k (),#''' * 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 (#--- jh ]k :fcfe`Xc ,*,#''' 191 Presidential Blvd, Bala Cynwyd 1750 Oakwood Ter 16G, Penn Valley 1089 West Ave, SpringďŹ eld R901: ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 0+* jh ]k :fe[f (*0#''' 4 Bed/3 Bath; 2268 Colonial $330,000 ) 9\[&) 9Xk_2 :fe[f Xk FXb ?`cc ),0#''' 824-25: ) 9\[&) 9Xk_2 528 Conshohocken St Rd, Gladwyne 19 Rock Hill Road #4F, Bala Cynwyd )('' jh ]k :fe[f ++0#''' + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )--+ jh ]k :fcfe`Xc -/0#0'' ) 9\[&) 9Xk_2 ()(- jh ]k (/0#''' 2001 Hamilton St #517, Art Museum 1450 Flat Rock Road, Penn Valley 8cjf XmX`cXYc\ ]fi I\ek (/,'&dfek_ 5 Bed/4.1 Bath; 4330 sq ft Ranch $799,000 ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 -.+ jh ]k :fe[f )),#0''

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SOLO REAL ESTATE, INC.

2017 CHANCELLOR STREET t PHILADELPHIA, PA 19103 TELEPHONE 215.564.7656 t FACSIMILE 215.564.7893 SOLOREALTY.COM

CENTER CITY PHILA.

1 QUEEN STREET #10 QUEEN VILLAGE OPEN SUNDAY, 10/2 FROM 12:00 TO 2:30 A BEAUTIFUL SPACIOUS 3 BEDROOM, 2.5 BATH TOWN-HOME WITH GARAGE PARKING IN PENNSLANDING SOUTH LOCATED IN THE MEREDITH CATCHMENT. Enter into a Spacious Foyer Area with Closet & Garage, Large Living Room with Hardwood Floors, Built-ins, High Ceilings, Wood Burning Fireplace and Huge French Doors overlooking a Beautiful Garden. Separate Dining Room, Separate Full Eat in Kitchen with Sliders to a Juliet Balcony, Powder Room with Great Window and Laundry Area.

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Next Level: 2 Large bedrooms both with great Light & Closet Space, Full Bath & Storage Area.

Top Level: Large Light Filled Master Suite with Cathedral Ceilings, Tons of Closets, Good Storage Space & Skylight + a Full Bath & Deck

For Sale: $619,900 or Rent: $2750 a month

Patrick Conway

Kathy Conway

215-266-1537 215-850-3842 A]QWSbg 6WZZ =TÂż QS Â&#x2019; # $ % $ # Â&#x2019; >ZSOaS dWaWb ca ]\ZW\S Ob www.conwayteam.com

22 | Philly Weekly | September 29 - October 5, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

PW R E A L

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START YOUR HOME OWNERSHIP JOURNEY TODAY. MORTGAGE PROGRAMS INCLUDE:

FHA 9 VA 9 USDA 9 5/'1 9 "42)&/.-0) 9 Renovation & more!

Matthew Lynch

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mlynch@fcloans.com www.fcloans.com/mlynch Contact me today!

9 /.80(, *('/4+ (1/ 9 777 *(',1/).1&03 (1/ /.80(,

First Choice Loan Services Inc. (NMLS# 210764) a wholly owned subsidiary of First Choice Bank (NMLS# 177877) is located at 729 Grove Ave, Suite 7, Southampton, PA 18966.

First Choice Loan Services Inc. is registered or exempt from state licensing in the states it originates mortgage loans. Licensed by the NJ Department of Banking and Insurance. AZ BK# 0918586. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is not an agency of the federal government and is not afďŹ liatedwith your current lender. All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, terms and conditions are current, but are subject to change and may expire without notice.

Other restrictions may apply. All applications must be submitted in writing. This advertisement is not a loan disclosure and all disclosures provided after applying should be reviewed carefully.

This is not a commitment to provide a loan approval or a speciďŹ c interest rate. 03.11.2016

For over 90 years the most respected name in Philadelphia Real Estate Center Cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Largest Independent Realtor

739 BAINBRIDGE ST BELLA VISTA STRADA Fabulous new construction ready for immediate delivery! 4br, 4b, +/-3500sf, gourmet kitchen, Smart Home Technology, patio, roof deck, balconies, garage, 10 yr tax abatement, Meredith School district Phase II Coming Soon!

816 S 10TH ST BELLA VISTA OPEN SUNDAY 10/2 12-1:30 PM Expansive Modernist â&#x20AC;&#x153;Greenâ&#x20AC;? home, +/-4,932sf, 3br, 3.5b, solar panel roof, 2 car garage, electric car charging station, courtyard garden, 7 yr tax abatement, new price!

$1,329,000 Call Jody Volpe

$1,275,000 Call Leon Aksman

517 RANDOLPH CT #D QUEEN VILLAGE

1018 S BOUVIER ST GRADUATE HOSPITAL NEW LISTING!

Bright contemporary 3br, 2.5b in courtyard setting, updated kitchen with granite countertops & s/s appliances, one car garage parking

$565,000 Call Izzy Sigman

Light filled 3br, 2.5b, h/w flrs, finished basement, patio, balcony with city views, 2 yr tax abatement

$489,000 Call Jody Volpe

Search all Properties at: www.PlumerRE.com

& Associates, Inc. Realtors

241-33 CHESTNUT ST #E OLD CITY

804 N 23RD ST FAIRMOUNT

Exquisite full floor condo with direct elevator entrance, 2br, 2.5b, +/-2214sf, floor to ceiling windows, kitchen w/ Viking appliances, perfectly appointed

Exceptional Victorian Revival renovation, 3br, 3.5b, +/-1800sf plus large basement, custom cabinetry & hand crafted wood work, back yard

$859,000 Call Scott Neifeld

$665,000 Call Marian McGee

708 S LEITHGOW ST QUEEN VILLAGE NEW LISTING! OPEN SUNDAY 10/2 12-1 PM

430 GREENWICH ST DICKINSON NARROWS NEW LISTING!

Charming 3 story 2br, 1b Trinity, h/w flrs, skylight, large private roof deck, great location!

Totally rehabbed 2br, 2.5b, rear patio, tax abatement

$309,900 Call Lou Lanni

$325,000 Call Linda Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Connell

226 South Street

215 922 4200

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