Philly Weekly 5-25-2016

E H T N O BRING , S G E L HOT DOG D N A S & SUN

H G L X *

H U R K 6 05.26.16 - 06.01.16

2 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

IN THIS ISSUE:

3 PHILLY NOW What to do this week

8 FEATURE Beach Bound

16 FOOD Morgan’s Pier

19 ART Student Photography

21 SAVAGE LOVE Identity Cards

22 TIMAREE’S BODY Halcyon Floats

22 REAL ESTATE 26 CLASSIFIED

CONNECT WITH US!

Art Physic

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Jay Sterin General manager Phone: 215.563.7400 ext 163 jay@phillyweekly.com

WHAT TO DO IN & AROUND THE CITY y{~q m€ |tuxx…ƒqqwx… o{y

Jacqueline Rupp Editor-in-chief jacqueline@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyjackie

Tell us about your upcoming events! Email info to managing editor Anastasia Barbalios at: events@phillyweekly.com

Anastasia Barbalios Managing editor anastasia@phillyweekly.com Twitter: @phillyweekly

SHOPPING

PHILLY WEEKLY

rt meets affordability at Art for the Cash Poor 2016, presented by InLiquid, the local arts nonproďŹ t that strives to create opportunities for visual artists. The art sale will feature a variety of work from jewelry to paintings, photography, ceramics and more.

The weekend-long event is based on the idea that “anyone can be an art collector.�

All art available for purchase at the event is priced at $199 or less, a price that allows ďŹ rsttime collectors or purchasers the opportunity to ďŹ nd their preferred mediums and meet the artists and learn about the inspiration and process behind a piece before they buy.

Art pieces that will be available include jewelry by Ivy Tree Designs, clothing by Wear Liberty, paintings by Allegra Yvonne Gia,

1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400.

ClassiďŹ ed: 215.354.3054

RPM PHILLY, LLC Philly Weekly is published Wednesday by RPM Philly, LLC, 1617 JFK Blvd. #1005, Philadelphia PA 19103. Phone: 215.563.7400. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery & Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philly Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright Š 2016 by Philly Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

Art for the Cash Poor

A

creator of Art Physic (pictured), and prints, pottery and more by 90 other artists.

Art for the Cash Poor will have more available than just art; live music will be presented outside and, for the foodies, a variety of yummy treats will be available along with a beer garden. Philadelphia Brewing Company will be in attendance, alongside food trucks from Kung Fu Hoagies, Weckerly’s Ice Cream and Foolish Waffles. Musical performances include Philly locals Kitty Rotten, I Think Like Midnight and a variety of others throughout the weekend.

The kickoff party for the weekend takes place on the evening of Friday June 3, and is a ticketed event. Attendees will have the opportunity to take part in a meet-and-greet with the artists participating in the weekend.

There will be a special installation by AnaĂŻs Nin that uses auditory and visual elements to represent the artist’s idea of the cosmos. The party doubles as a fundraiser for AIDS Fund, an organization that supports education, prevention, and other AIDS/HIV services in Philadelphia. Some artwork will be available for purchase at the kickoff. Saturday and Sunday are what InLiquid has listed as the “main event.â€? All of the artists will be present and all of the work will be for sale. The two days are open to the public. The proceeds from the weekend will be split 50/50 with AIDS Fund. –VINCE BELLINO

June 3-5. Crane Arts, 1400 N. American St. inliquid.org

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WEDNESDAY, MAY 25 DAN CE

National Tap Dance Day Celebrate National Tap Dance Day with Take It Away Dance, Philadelphia’s only tap and live music collective. Head to the Singing Fountain for a free outdoor performance and bring your tap shoes for some community street hoofin’ challenges.

7pm. Free. Singing Fountain, Passyunk and Tasker Avenues. takeitawaydance.com

CRAFT BEER & BOURBON BAR WITH GASTROPUB STYLE FARE

Best Happy Hour in the City!

1/2 O

FF DRA 25 ROTATING FTS, CRAFT DRAFTS

POETRY

Poetry Brothel The Poetry Brothel brings its unique approach to creative expressionism to Philly for the first time, with readings from Spencer Short, Nicole Steinberg and more.

Behind the confines of a bordello-styled interior, poets dressed as 20th-century harlots carry out their work by displaying both public and private readings for the audience. The event also features a musical performance by the Perseverance Jazz Band. Attendees are welcome to join in on the fun by wearing their own themed costumes. 8:30pm. $25-$65. L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St. thepoetrybrothel.com

THURSDAY, MAY 26

OWNERS: CHEF ERIC PARASKEVAS & ELENA FETFATZES BAINBRIDGESTREETBARRELHOUSE.COM UNTAPPD.COM/V/BAINBRIDGE-STREET-BARRELHOUSE/459884

625-27 S. 6TH ST. | PHILA., PA | 267-324-3553 @BARRELHOUSEPHL

@BAINBRIDGESTBARRELHOUSE

PER FOR MAN CE

Jason Vieaux Enjoy cocktails and appetizers while watching classical guitarist Jason Vieaux perform for a live taping of WHYY’s “Articulate.” Vieaux has performed alongside more than 100 orchestras all over the world. Following the performance, the musician will sit down for a Q&A with host Jim Cotter. 7pm. $15-$25. Stotesbury

Mansion, 1923 Walnut St. whyy.org PA RT Y

Wall Ball Mural Arts celebrates another great year of beautifying Philly with food, drink, an a art auction featuring work curated by Conrad Benner from the popular art blog, Streets Dept. This year’s honorees include Citizens Band President Daniel K. Fitzpatrick, Philadelphia Phillies Chairman David Montgomery and Tony Goldman Visionary Artist Awardee, Candy Chang. 6:30pm. The Fillmore, 29 East

Allen St. muralarts.org FOOD

Guac Off 2016 Sample delicious guacamole from Philly’s best chefs and restaurants while sipping beers and signature MANNA Margaritas on the riverfront. Cafe Ynez, Cantina Dos Segundos, Los Camaradas, Revolution Taco and more will compete to be crowned the next great Guac Master. Eat unlimited chips, enjoy drink specials and indulge in the glorious goodness of guacamole. The event benefits MANNA, a local nonprofit dedicated to cooking and delivering meals for individuals battling illnesses. 6pm. $30-$35. Morgan’s Pier, 221 N. Columbus Blvd. mannapa.org

OUTDOOR S

Pairings on the Parkway Pack a picnic and head to Sister Cities Park for an outdoor BYOB party featuring live music. This week’s performance features April Food Child. 5:30-7:30pm.

Free. Sister Cities Park, Ben Franklin Parkway. ccdparks.org 4 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

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FRIDAY, MAY 27 COMEDY

Arnez J. One of the funniest emerging comedians and host to BET’s ComicView, Arnez J. recently introduced his very own comedy series titled Racially Motivated. The funnyman has also been featured on Showtime’s Comedy Club Network, The Mo’Nique Show and more. 7:30pm. $30-$38. Helium, 2031 Sansom St. heliumcomedy.com

STAGE

Sean O’Casey’s The Plough and the Stars In the third and final installment to Sean O’Casey’s Dublin Trilogy, Ireland is on the brink of the Easter Uprising, and wife Nora is desperately trying to keep her husband Jack from fighting in the battle for Ireland’s freedom. Through June 11. $10-$25. Plays

and Players Theatre, 1714 Delancy Place. playsandplayers.org COMEDY

Two Late with Rob and Joe This late-night variety show is done in the tradition of late night talk shows such as The Tonight Show. Hosted by comedians Rob Alesiani and Joe Tuzzi, the show will include celebrity guests, monologues, musical acts, sketch and stand-up comedy, and interactive games with the audience. 11:55pm. $5. Philly Improv Theater, 2030

Sansom St. phitcomedy.com

SATURDAY, MAY 28

Photo by M. Edlow for Visit Philadelphia

S H OPPIN G

Franklin Flea at Reading Terminal Looking for a place to buy vintage and antique furniture as well as clothing, art and handmade goods? Franklin Flea brings more than 40 local vendors to Reading Terminal, creating a unique retail space to shop the best of Philly’s food purveyors along with vintage and handmade retailers. 11am-6pm. Reading Terminal, 1180 Filbert St.

Between 11th & 12th Streets. franklinflea.com STAGE

Hillary and Clinton In a world of infinite possibilities, Hillary and Clinton asks the audience to re-imagine the 2008 primary election in an alternate universe where a woman named Hillary just so happens to be running for President of the United States. Through June 26.

$24-$62. Susanne Roberts Theater, 480 S. Broad St.philadelphiatheatrecompany.org EV EN T

Memorial Day Weekend Celebration If you’re staying local for the holiday weekend and want to unwind with Memorial Day activities, head to Historic Philly for a weekend of family-friendly activities. The festivities begin on Saturday with flag ceremonies, concerts, America-themed crafts and even a Thank-a-Vet letter station. Through May 30. Free. National Constitution

Center, 525 Arch St. Independence Mall. constitutioncenter.org 6 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

SUNDAY, MAY 29 DRINK

Open Harvest Sample the grapes and fresh juice created at Wycombe Vineyards during Open Harvest every Sunday afteroon. Learn the distinct tastes of each wine, like how Chardonnay tastes like apple juice, and Cabernet has a blackberry/raspberry flavor. Sundays, from 9am-2pm.

Wycombe Vineyards, 1391 Forest Grove Rd., Furlong. wycombevineyards.com

MONDAY, MAY 30 OUTDOORS

Sexton Sideshow’s Memorial Dei Family Picnic This Memorial Day celebration features more than a dozen live musical acts as well as food trucks from Tacos El Rodeo, Vittles Hot Dogs & Hamburgers and D’Emilio’s Old World Ice Treats. Beer from Commonwealth Cider and Philadelphia Brewing Company will be available. 11am-9pm. $12-25. Gloria Dei Church, 916 S. Swanson St. facebook.com/sextonslideshow

TUESDAY, MAY 31 SCREEN

“BaddDDD Sonia Sanchez” The African American Museum in Philadelphia will screen “BaddDDD Sonia Sanchez,” a documentary about Sonia Sanchez, a major figure in the Black Arts Movement. She has published 17 books of poetry about the experiences and challenges women and people of color face. The documentary includes readings of Sanchez’s writing and features appearances by Questlove, Talib Kweli and others discussing Sanchez’s contributions to AfricanAmerican culture. 7-9:30pm. $10. African American Museum 701 Arch St. aampmuseum.org

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1

Photo by Steve Belkowitz

PERFORMANCE

Urban Scuba: Retro Dive JUNK—a dance and theater company led by Brian Sanders—has been recognized for its shows that turn everyday objects into functional tools onstage. “Urban Scuba: Retro Dive” follows those same lines, incorporating physical acrobatics with dance and repurposed “trash”. Ladders, trash cans and all sorts of metal structures round out this elaborate performance. June 1-5. 8pm. $25. 2040 Christian St. briansandersjunk.com

TALK

Shakespeare and Zen William Shakespeare existed in a world isolated from Buddhism, yet his writings hold many common threads with the teachings of the religion. Dr. Annalisa Castaldo, a Scholar-In-Residence at The Philadelphia Shakespeare Theater and Widener University professor, will give a presentation on the new perspective that can be found in Shakespeare’s work when viewed through the lens of Buddhism. The presentation will also give an introduction to Zen Buddhism. 6pm. Free. Central Library, 1901 Vine St. freelibrary.org phillyweekly.com | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 7

Beach Bound What to do down the shore this summer.

Asbury Park

Bethany

LGBTI Pride Celebration

Seaside Craft Show

New Jersey’s 25th annual pride celebration will culminate with a performance by “American Idol” winner Jordin Sparks and more than a dozen supporting musical performances. The parade begins at City Hall at noon. June 5, 12-7pm. Free. 5th and Ocean Ave. jerseypride.org

Everything from paintings and photography to collages and wearable art will be present at the Seaside Craft Show. More than 100 vendors will be in attendance along with a music performance by the Joe Balone Jazz Trio. June 4, 10am-5pm.

Free. Bethany Beach Boardwalk. townofbethanybeach.com

Punk Rock Bowling

July 4th Parade

The famous Las Vegas punk rock music festival comes to Asbury Park for its inaugural East Coast showing. This year’s headliners are legendary punk bands Descendents, Cock Sparrer and Flag. There will also be a 26 team bowling tournament. June 11-12, 2pm. $50. Stone Pony, 913 Ocean Ave. punkrockbowling.com

This year, Bethany Beach’s annual Independence Day Parade will be themed: “Celebrate Your Right to Vote.” The parade will include floats constructed by members of the community. July 4, 12-2pm. Free. 215 Hollywood St. townofbethanybeach.com

Cape May

Diva Dodgeball Tournament This all-girls dodgeball tournament takes place on the beach. Teams of 12 may register to compete, and spectators are welcome to watch on the beach or from the boardwalk.

July 16, 11am. $33.25/player. 5th Avenue Beach. divaontheshore.com

Visionary Tattoo Arts Festival More than 150 artists will be on site available to tattoo festival attendees. There will also be burlesque, tattoo competitions, skateboarding and sideshow activities.

July 29-31. $20-40. 1300 Ocean Avenue. visionarytattoofest.com

Atlantic City Atlantic City Food Truck Festival The inaugural A.C. Food Truck Festival hits the boardwalk this year with dishes ranging from American comfort classics, to seafood, barbeque, desserts and more. The fest will feature live music, wine tastings, familyfriendly activities and more. Cast your vote and help crown the first-ever winner. June 18-19. Brighton Park. acfoodtruckfest.com

known for their hidden camera show Impractical Jokers, as they perform their trademark comedy and unleash never-before-seen videos to the world. July 7-8, 8pm.

Borgata, 1 Borgata Way. theborgata.com

Fakefest 2016 Catch some of the greatest cover bands on the East Coast perform live. Featured bands include the B Street Band (Bruce Springsteen), Completely Unchained (Van Halen), Red Not Chili Peppers (Red Hot Chili Peppers), Beginnings (Chicago), Tuesday’s Gone (Lynyrd Skynyrd), Kashmir (Led Zeppelin) and more. July 14-17. The Deck @ Golden Nugget. Brigantine Blvd & Huron Ave. goldennugget.com

National Sports Collectors Convention Ogle the largest collection of sports memorabilia and collectibles in the country. There will be a number of card grading services and auction houses on hand to tell you what your collection is worth. August 3-7. $19-$22.

Atlantic City Convention Center, 1 Convention Boulevard. meetinac.com

Kevin James

Jerry Seinfeld

Kevin James, known for his roles in Everybody Loves Raymond and The King of Queens, performs at the Borgata. June 25, 8pm. $65. Borgata Hotel Casino, 1 Borgata Way. theborgata.com

Star of the hit TV show Seinfeld and web series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, comic legend Jerry Seinfeld brings the funny to A.C. August 12-13, 8pm. Borgata Hotel Casino, 1 Borgata Way. theborgata.com

TRUTV Impractical Jokers

Dylan Fest 2016

Enjoy an evening with The Tenderloins,

Celebrate the legacy of cultural icon Bob

8 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Dylan with one of the most authentic and popular Bob Dylan tribute bands in the area, The 5 Believers. August 13. Dante Hall, 14 N Mississippi Ave. stockton.edu/dante

Taste of the Quarter Bring your family and your hunger and savor this foodie-friendly festival. Dine at more than 20 participating restaurants, bars, and eateries, all benefiting the United Way of Greater Philadelphia and Southern New Jersey in Atlantic County. August 22, 6pm. $25. The Quarter @ The Tropicana Casino and Resort, 2831 Boardwalk. tropicana.net

Avalon 7 Mile Restaurant Week Dine at more than 30 restaurants for breakfast, lunch, or dinner with discounted specials in Avalon and Stone Harbor. June 6-12. 609.967.3963. visitavalonnj.com

Avalon’s Big Beach Movies Enjoy screenings of family friendly movies on the Avalon beach every Tuesday at 8 for free starting on June 28. Featured flicks include Cinderella, Hotel Transylvania 2, Minions, Inside Out, Norm of the North, and more. 30th Street Beach. visitavalonnj.com

Parade Battle of the Mummers Bands Mummers bands battle it out to prove who’s best. July 1, 6pm. Avalon Community Hall to Veterans Plaza. visitavalonnj.com

Strawberry Festival Get ready to gorge yourself on all things strawberry at this small-town smorgasbord that takes its fruit very seriously. The promise of the best strawberry shortcake you’ll ever eat awaits. A Strawberry King and Queen will be crowned to wrap up the berry festivities. June 4, 9am-5pm. Wilbraham Park, West Perry Street. westcapemay.us

Cape May Restaurant Week Known for its culinary delights, Cape May can be a pricey dining destination. Except when it’s Restaurant Week and you can indulge in full-course fixed-priced menus.

June 5-9. $15-$35 per person. cmrestaurantweek.com

Dr. Physick’s 161st Birthday Party Dr. Emlen Physick is one of Cape May favorite figures. In honor of his birthday, the town will host croquet matches on the grounds of his Victorian estate. Wear summer whites and get in on a game, or just watch from the sidelines. June 6, 11am-2pm.

Emlen Physick Estate, 1048 Washington Street. capemaymac.org

Carnival on the Grand Lawn Congress Hall is always an elegant stop in Cape May, but on Monday nights, the hotel’s Grand Lawn turns into one big carnival with food, kettle corn, skee ball and rides on the Congress Hall Express. June 20, June 27, July 11, July 18, and July 25. 5:30-9pm.

Congress Hall, 200 Congress Place.

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Lighthouse Full Moon Climb The light from the full moon is all you’ll need (hopefully not clouds) for this special night time climb up the historic lighthouse’s 199 spiraling stairs. June 20, 8-10pm. $5-$8.

Cape May Lighthouse, 215 Light House Ave. capemaymac.org

5th Annual Craft Beer & Crab Festival The grounds of the Physick Estate host this all-day festival featuring local craft beers, summer picnic food (think steamed crabs, shrimp, pulled pork, corn on the cob, mmmm) live music and jugglers and acrobats. If that’s not enough, there will also be craft and farmers’ markets. Aug. 6, 11am-8pm. Emlen Physick Estate, 1048 Washington Street. capemaymac.org

Long Beach

Stone Harbor Stone Harbor 4th of July Celebration Celebrate Independence Day in Stone Harbor, with loads of fun activities, including the Phillies’ Home Run Derby and fireworks at dusk. Registration for the home run derby and other games begin an hour before the games begin. July 4, 10am. Stone Harbor Recreation Field, 8100 Second Ave. stoneharbornj.org.

Thursdays on the Lawn Local musicians are set to perform on the lawn every Thursday, beginning July 7 through August 11. All are welcome to bring a beach chair or towel to sit and soak in the sun.

7:30pm. Free. St. Mary’s Episcopal Church’s Front Lawn, 95th & Third Ave. events.capemaycountyherald.com

Crabulous Crab Day Stone Harbor’s Wetlands Institute celebrates its annual Crabulous Crab Day with family-friendly crab-themed activities. Learn all about the fascinating creatures we see on the beach every day. July 22, 9:30am. $6-$10. Wetlands Institute, 1075 Stone Harbor Blvd. wetlandsinstitute.org.

Festival of Lights

Hop Sauce Festival Sample local fare paired with regional hot sauce, and wash it down with a sampling of more than 20 delicious craft beers.

All day, catch live performances by The Lonely Biscuits, Craig Finn, Small Black, Funk Shway and more. June 4. $15$50. 898 Seagull Ln, Beach Haven. hopsaucefest.com

Lighthouse International Film Festival Founded by a collection of filmmakers, film critics and film industry professionals, the festival includes feature-length films, shorts and documentaries, as well as panel discussions with industry leaders. June 9-12. Long Beach Island. lighthousefilmfestival.org

Pour Into Summer Wine Festival Raise your glass and toast to the summer at the 2016 Long Beach Island Wine Festival. Bring your lawn chairs and sample selections from Auburn Road Vineyards, Coda Rossa Winery, DiMatteo Vineyard, Monroeville Vineyard & Winery, Natali Vineyards, Plagido’s Winery, Renault Winery, Salem Oak Vineyards, Valenzano Winery and Wagonhouse Winery. June 11-12. Taylor Avenue Waterfront Beach Haven. lbiwinefest.com

Beachfest Arts & Crafts Festival Shop for one-of-a-kind home and and gift items, including handcrafted furniture, jewelry, soaps, candles, paintings, pottery and more. July 9 and Aug. 20. Veterans Park, Engleside Ave. kraftfairs.com

A Taste of the Island Porch Party Sample delicious appetizers and refreshing wine from Island restaurants. July 10, 6-10pm. Long Beach Island Historical Association Museum, Engleside & Beach Avenues. lbimuseum.com

“Truck”erton Food Truck & Brew Fest Choose from fresh sandwiches and salads to fried alligator legs and everything in between. Live music all day will keep you dancing and working up a healthy appetite. Aug. 13-14, 11am-5pm. $8. The Tuckerton Seaport, 120 W. Main St. tuckertonseaport.org

10 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

Expect better behavior. July 5, 7-9pm. Boardwalk, 6th-14th Streets.

The Stone Harbor Yacht club will hold its annual “Festival of Lights” featuring decorated boats and bay front homes. Following the festival, there will be an after party at the Stone Harbor Yacht Club. July 30, 7:30pm. Free. Stone Harbor Yacht Club, 9001 Sunset Drive. stoneharbornj.org

Stone Harbor Arts and Crafts Festival Stone Harbor’s nationally ranked arts and crafts festival returns this summer featuring more than 200 artists displaying their work. Aug. 6-7, 9am. Free. 8100 Second Ave. shacfest.com

Ocean City, NJ Ocean City Flower Show Give yourself a break from the beach and sniff some flowers at Music Pier. Both commercial and amateur displays promise to offer post-worthy photo taking opps. June 3-5. Times vary. Music Pier, Moorlyn Terrace & Boardwalk. 609.399.6111.

Ocean City Restaurant Week You know the drill on restaurant weeks, special price fixed menus mean you’ll get to indulge in some serious eating while saving some cash. June 10-16. eatinocnj.com

The Indigo Girls Music Pier hosts the veteran female duo who have been giving crowds the feels for nearly four decades now. Way to make us feel old. June 20, 7:30pm. $46. Music Pier, Moorlyn Terrace and Boardwalk. ticketmaster.com

Sand Sculpting Contest The first of the season, marvel at these ephemeral works of beach art before high tide. July 6, beginning at 9am. 6th Street Beach. 609.399.6111.

Freckle Contest Although the beach might not be the best spot for the fairskinned, at least the freckled can get a chance to win some prizes here. Curiously, you can fake your freckles in this contest as well. July 7, 6pm. Music Pier, Moorlyn Terrace & Boardwalk. 609.399.6111.

The Beach Boys in Concert The boys of summer might be well into their senior years, but that hasn’t stopped their tropical party from going strong, playing hundreds of shows each year. See them in their natural habitat, the beach, or darn close to it. July 11-12, 6 & 8:30pm. $59.50. Music Pier, Moorlyn Terrace and Boardwalk. ticketmaster.com

Night in Venice Ocean City’s most famous night of the year, the 62nd Annual Night in Venice Boat Parade is actually one of the largest boat parades in the world. New this year will be the “Collegiate Cup,” awarded to a boat that best celebrates school pride, so expect lots of local school spirit this year.

We’re thinking Nova might be a favorite to win, but that’s just a crazy guess. Whether you go to decorate a boat or just to watch, you’ll see miles of lights and festive displays and an evening fireworks finale. July 16, 6:30pm. Begins at the Longport Bridge to Tennessee Avenue along bay. ocnj.us/NIV

Hermit Crab Happenings For one day every year, the hermit crab is elevated from loley boardwalk impulse pet to grand competitor. Miss Crustacean Hermit Crab Beauty Pageant will crown a winner with the “Cucumber Rind Cup” and the annual Hermit Crab Races will see crabs “racing” for the King of Klutz Plaque.

Aug. 3, 1pm. 6th Street Beach. 609.399.6111.

July Jubilee

Ocean City, MD

To gear up for the 4th of July, Ocean City hosts a week of crazy contests, from taffy sculpting to French fry design.

June 27-30, 11am. Music Pier, Moorlyn Terrace and Boardwalk. 609.399.6111.

OC Beach Lights

Character Nights Every Sunday through August 14, get your furry fix—well sort of anyway—with Character Nights on the boards. Here’s your chance to collect often coveted autographs from Mister Peanut and Wonder Bear. Begins July 3, 7pm. In front of the Music Pier, Moorlyn Terrace and Boardwalk.

Mummers Night New Year’s Day on Broad Street comes to the boardwalk.

Lights, music, fireworks and lasers combine in the OC Beach Lights show. The event is held weekly on the beach all summer. Sundays, May 28-Sept. 4. 9:30pm, 10pm, 10:30pm. Free. Oceanside Boardwalk, 27th Inlet. ococean.com

Ravens Beach Bash Tailgate Party Enjoy an all-you-can-eat buffet with tailgate food and drink.

There will be three food stations and appearances from Baltimore Ravens’ cheerleaders, alumni and mascots. June 2, 6-8pm. $12.95-29.95. Clarion Resort Fountainebleau Hotel. baltimoreravens.com

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Mako Mania Shark Tournament The 20th annual Mako Mania Shark Tournament is open to boats of all sizes to compete in the shark fishing competition and is the beginning of tournament season. Spectators can also catch the sharks being weighed. June 3-5, 4-7pm.

Fish Tales, 2207 Herring Way. bahiamarina.com

Ocean Bowl Skate Bash This festival includes both free skate and competitions, vendors, live music and food. It is open to all ages, but anyone under 18 must have a signed waiver. June 28, 2-8pm. Free.

Ocean Bowl Skate Park, 3rd St. and St. Louis Ave. ococean.com

Misako Ballet Company The company will perform two ballets, “Underwater Palace,” rooted in Japanese folk stories, and “Elite Syncopation,” a tribute to African- American art’s impact on dance. “Underwater Palace” is choreographed by Misako Aoki. “Elite Syncopation” is choreographed by Eva Anderson. Aug. 4. 7pm. $10-15. Ocean City Performing Arts Center, 4001 Coastal Hwy. ocmdperformingartscenter.com

Rehoboth South Side Shoot Out This skimboarding competition has categories for amateur, semi-pro and pro skimboarders. Prizes will be awarded to the highest placing amateur and professional competitors.

June 4-5, 8:30am. $20-125. Delaware Seashore State Park, 39415 Inlet Rd. alleyoopskim.com

Beach Goes Blue Featuring the Lower Castle Blues Band and a variety of blue food and drink, from pancakes to cocktails. There will also be a number of other activities all revolving around the color blue. June 4, 12-9pm. Free. Rehoboth Beach Bandstand, 1 Rehoboth Ave. beach-fun.com

Independence Day Fireworks Celebrate the Fourth of July a day early with fireworks on Main St. Live music will be played before and after the fireworks. Attendees are encouraged to bring beach chairs or blankets. July 3. 9:15pm. Free. Rehoboth Beach Main St. downtownrb.com

Children’s Beach House Annual BBQ Children’s Beach House is a non-profit that works with special needs children to help them reach their highest potential. There will be barbeque, live entertainment and beer and wine served on the beach to benefit the organization.

Aug. 20. 6:30-9:30pm. $100. Children’s Beach House, 1800 Bay Ave, Lewes. cbhinc.org

Sea Isle Skimmer Festival The biggest weekend party in Sea Isle features two days of festivities. Saturday includes a vendor craft market along the oceanfront at the Promenade, live performances inside Excursion Park by Funkybone Horn Band and an evening dance party. For Father’s Day on Sunday there’s an Antique Auto Show at the Promenade and trolley tours around town.

June 18-19. JFK Blvd and Promenade. visitsicnj.com

Monsters on the Beach

August 18. 8-9pm. JFK Blvd Beach. njbeachyoga.com

Wildwoods

Sea Isle City Food Truck Festival

Summer Kickoff Concert

You’re probably used to getting your food truck lunch amidst the noise and stink of the city. Summer lets you change that setting up. Sample a dozen food trucks (many you haven’t tried before probably) with the salt air and ocean waves in the background. June 24-26. 12-8pm, except Sunday, 12-5 pm. Kix McNutley’s, 63rd and Landis Avenue. seaislecityfood.com

Annual Brian Deutsch Memorial Skate Contest In 2013, Brian Deutsch lost his battle with opioid addiction.

To honor his memory, his friends and family started this memorial skate event that benefits local non-profits. Aug. 7. 12:30-5:30 pm. Dealy Field, 5900 Central Avenue. briandeutschmemorial.com

Seaside Heights Arts & Crafts by the Sea This annual event features more than 40 artists and crafters, selling everything from hand-made jewelry to homemade candles and pottery. June 11, 11am-7pm. Boardwalk between Dupont and Grant Avenues. seasideheightsnjonline.com

Shadow of the City The Seaside music festival features performances by The 1975, BØRNS, Carly Rae Jepsen, Steel Train, Frnkiero and the Cellabration, Bishop, Shamir, and Hana. June 18. $65-$150.

Boardwalk at Grant Avenue. seaside-heightsnj.org

Thursday Night Limelight Concert Series Local bands and musicians submit their music to enter in this competition for a featured boardwalk performance. A total of 8 limelight participants will be chosen, and the first rounds will be held on July 7, July 14, July 21 and July 28.

8pm. Carteret Avenue Stage. seaside-heightsnj.org

Seaside Heights Beach Camping Enjoy a a beautiful night under the stars with beach games and family-friendly fun. July 5, 7pm. Free. seasideheightsnjonline.com

Full Moon Beach Yoga

Budweiser Clydesdale Meet & Greet

Full moons have been linked to all sorts of strange occurrences, perhaps one could be your body contorting like never before. Get your chance at these free monthly yoga seshes that welcome all ages and levels. June 20, July 19,

Meet the world-famous Budweiser Clydesdales this summer. The beautiful horses are spending the day in Seaside Heights, taking pictures and hanging with fans. July 10, 11:30am-4pm. seasideheightsnjonline.com

12 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

The Fabulous Greaseband will perform dance and party songs at this summer kickoff concert. Bring a towel or beach chair, and sit back and relax as Summer 2016 starts of with blast. May 29, 7:30pm. Free. Centennial Park, Fern Road and Ocean Avenue in Wildwood Crest. wildwoodsnj.com

Wildwood Beer Fest Enjoy a weekend down at the Shores of Wildwood this summer, and attend a beer tasting event featuring more than 100 different beers. June 10-11. $40-$45. Fox Park, between E. Burk and E. Montgomery Aves. 609.729.8870. wildwoodbeerfest.com

Beach Bacon Festival Mark your calendars for the all-new Beach Bacon Fest, featuring an assortment of bacon-themed goodies, as well as a whiskey and bourbon bar for adults. July 1, 3-10pm. $20-$45.

Lincoln Ave. Beach. wildwoodsnj.com

Tim McGraw What better way to spend Independence Day than attending a Tim McGraw concert right on the beach? McGraw brings his “Humble and Kind” Summer tour to Wildwood to celebrate our nation’s birthday along with Grammy nominee Hunter Hayes and Maggie Rose. July 4, 2pm. $25-$180.

Schellenger Ave. Beach. wildwoodbeachconcerts.com

Jus Nice Sneaker Convention Sneakerheads, rejoice as Jus Nice Sneaker Convention comes back to Wildwood. Those who attend will have the chance to buy, sell and trade some of the fanciest footwear you’ll ever see. Aug. 6-7, 10am-4pm. Wildwood Convention Center, 4501 Boardwalk. wildwoodsnj.com

Wildwood Tattoo Beach Bash Hosted by Rebel Image Tattoo, the convention will include notable tattoo artists, live tattooing, art exhibits and other vendors. Aug. 12-14. Friday: 12pm-11pm; Saturday: 11am11pm; Sunday: 11am-8pm. $20-$40. Wildwood Convention Center, 4501 Boardwalk. wildwoodtatto.com

Monsters on the Beach The qualifying races begin Friday night, which will carry into Sunday as the title race commences. The truck lineup will feature Monster Truck favorites, including Bigfoot, new Bigfoot, Avenger, Brutus, Black Stallion, Higher Education, Red Solo Truck, Equalizer and Walking Tall. Aug. 19-24.

Friday: 7pm; Saturday: 1pm & 7pm; Sunday: 1pm. $10-$81.

Lincoln to Spencer Ave. wildwoodsnj.com

phillyweekly.com | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 13

FEATURE

|

BY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

New at the Shore 1

Premier Night Club.

What does $14 million get you? If you’re the Borgata, 18,000 square feet of nightclub, that’s what. Part theater, part concert hall, part overstuffed Jersey shore club, June will include appearances by Dillon Francis, Diplo and Laidback Luke, to name a few. Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J. premierborgata.com

14

2 3

Wildwood Crest Running Club. There’s nothing like running on the beach, just ask David Hasselhoff. Well with his impending bankruptcy maybe don’t ask him. Anyway, endorphin addicts no longer need to run solo during their days down the shore. In its first full year, the Wildwood Crest Running Club welcomes beachgoers of all ages to burn off that boardwalk pizza and fries with their group runs and social events. $55 per person to join. crestrunningclub.com

chocolate ganache, milk, caramel and Vietnamese coffee ice cream), Zen-Ful Donuts and Tahitian Vanilla Crème Brûlée round out the offerings this season. One Atlantic Ocean, Atlantic City, N.J. buddakanac.com

8

Dock’s Oyster House Re-Opens.

The 120year old A.C. institution underwent major renovations and reopens this month, just in time for summer, with expanded seating, raw bar, piano bar and modernized kitchen. 2405 Atlantic Avenue, Atlantic City, N.J. docksoysterhouse.com

4 5

10

winds at the shore is a very bad thing. But the Galeforce Roller Coaster at Playland Castaway Cove in Ocean City is embracing the wild weather that often bullies the shore. This thing looks way worse than any tropical storm, with drops that go beyond 90 degrees, speeds nearly 65 miles per hour, and the several launches, it’s best not to go on after Manco & Manco.

1020 Boardwalk, Ocean City, N.J. oceancityfun.com

Ocean City SkatePark.

After an initial opening that saw several closures due to bureaucratic rumblings and insurance wrangling, the first summer season for the several-months-old skate park is set to host visitors and their boards all summer long. 550 Asbury Avenue, Ocean City, N.J.

6

Kiss Kiss A Go-Go. Ivan Kane (Royal Jelly Burlesque Nightclub) brings something different to the Tropicana in A.C. this summer. Set to open June 16, the tag line “a trip down the rabbit hole into the neon-fueled nights of Bangkok,” makes us both very nervous and strangely intrigued. In this case, the rabbit hole begins with a 50-foot neon tunnel that leads to lots more neon, go-go girls and an LED video wall to push your overstimulated brain past the edge of good reason.

7

Summer Inspired Desserts.

Buddakan introduces a set of new tropical desserts that focus on fruits and flowers rather than gobs of sugar and cream. Pastry chef Domonic Tardy provides ample options to indulge at the Starr spot at The Playground. The Strawberry and Kaffir Lime Oil Cheesecake includes lavender-infused strawberries, kaffir lime oil and a strawberry sorbet, while the Toasted Buddha Ice Cream is a serving of Calamansi ice cream with seasonal berries tossed in elderflower honey. Crying Chocolate (malted

14 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

15

Wild Fox Cafe Wildwood.

9

Galeforce. Most times hearing about gale force

Will we see the inside of Revel (under a new name of course!) yet again as a full fledged hotel/casino? New owner Glenn Straub is placing his bets on it, even giving a mid-June timeframe. He’s described renovations that include an aerial rope obstacle course. It’s still anyone’s guess if the doors will officially open this season, however. 500 Boardwalk, Atlantic City, N.J.

Fakefest. This year’s lineup of imposter acts include tribute bands to Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Van Halen, Lynyrd Skynyrd and of course, Led Zeppelin. July 14-17. The Deck, Golden Nugget, Brigantine Blvd & Huron Avenue, Atlantic City, N.J. goldennugget.com/atlanticcity

WAV.

The appropriately named WAV (it is the only nightclub on the East Coast that hovers over the ocean) opened last month at Bart Blatstein’s Playground Pier. Set to host events, DJs and live music, the space also features a 6,000 square foot terrace overlooking the water. Think bottle servers in swimsuits, lots of fog, disco lights, and Skrillex, and you got WAV. 1 Atlantic Ocean, Atlantic City, N.J. wavac.com

13

Revel Reopens?

Borgata Outdoor Pool. Among the many ren-

ovations happening to the remaining A.C. casinos, Borgata took the bold step a few months back to begin constructing an outdoor pool where their former concert venue used to be. For now, the pool will be just that, a pool, with the usual array of lounge chairs and cabanas, but if things go right, look for it to morph into a nightclub come 2017, a lá Harrah’s. We hear palm trees are even promised. Who needs Miami? Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J. theborgata.com

Morey’s Mini Golf.

It ain’t a Jersey Shore summer without a little mini golf, and this year your putting options can include one more course. Morey’s Pier is constructing a 27-hole, bilevel mini golf course, with each of the nine-hole courses sporting a different theme. Corners of Rio Grande & Ocean Avenues, Wildwood, NJ. moreyspiers.com

11

Playground Pop up Shops. Expect retail fac-

es to be showing up at The Playground Pier as owner Bart Blatstein offers up short-term leasing for the retail side of the entertainment complex. This is the latest news from the developer who also plans to start building a bowling alley at the complex. 1 Atlantic Ocean, Atlantic City, N.J. playgroundpierac.com

12

MaGrogan’s comes to SIC. Busch’s Seafood stood on Landis Avenue for well over a hundred years in Sea Isle. If you stayed on the island, you ate at Busch’s. But this summer, there will be a new but familiar name offering up seafood for the beach hungry masses. Doc Magrogan’s Oyster House takes the spot and opens this weekend in a sweeping complex that is set to include an event hall and luxury condos. 86th Street and Landis Avenue. docmagrogans.com

Opened this month, Wild Fox Cafe takes the place of Avalon Coffee in North Wildwood. Owner Kate Trivelis, a Wildwood native herself, brings locally roasted fair trade coffee along with smoothies, salads and sandwiches to the space which has been fully renovated to include outdoor dining. 620 New Jersey Avenue, North Wildwood, N.J.

16

Osprey Cam. Okay, so these aren’t exactly

new, but this year’s broods are. Take a look at the wildlife cams on the Wetlands Institute of Stone Harbor’s website but be warned they are addictive. It might even inspire a visit and a break from the beach and bars. 1075 Stone Harbor Blvd., Stone Harbor, N.J. wetlandsinstitute.org

17

Bally’s Boardwalk Saloon. Because noth-

ing says country like A.C., Bally’s Wild Wild West renovations have finally given life to a deserted stretch of boardwalk. The Boardwalk Saloon, a new indoor/outdoor bar and restaurant with an urban country theme is part of a full renovation for the casino that includes the addition of the grab-and-go Snack Shack and Guy Fieri’s Guy’s Bar-B-Que Joint. Feel free to create your own Flavortown meme. 1900 Boardwalk, Atlantic City, N.J. caesars.com/ballys-ac

18

Avalon Golden Inn. For over half a century

the Golden Inn welcomed guests to Avalon, that is until it was sold late last year to Icona Resorts, whose CEO had his eye on the property for years. Now renovations to make the oceanfront hotel into a luxury space are underway with a grand re-opening set for July of this year. 7849 Dune Drive, Avalon, NJ. iconagoldeninn.com

19

Anglesea Food Truck Fest & Night Market. Expect some new faces at this

year’s Anglesea Night Market as food trucks and high end crafters converge on Olde New Jersey Avenue. Come hungry as restaurants lining the street also bring out some of their best dishes. July 21 and August 18, 4-9pm. Olde New Jersey Avenue, North Wildwood, NJ.

20

Backfin Blues Bar & Grill. The old Tavern on the Bay in Wildwood is being replaced with Maryland-based Backfin Blues, a restaurant that focuses on seafood and steak, craft beer and specialty martinis. 517 West Rio Grande Avenue, Wildwood, NJ.

phillyweekly.com | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 15

Double Patty Pier Burger

FOOD

|

BY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

Morgan’s Pier O n a cold and rainy (read to mean, typical May) afternoon, we braved the chilly river winds of the Delaware to sample the dishes that Morgan’s Pier would be serving up to smiley sun-loving customers once the weather finally broke free of being Seattle this spring through fall.

This year had more anticipation than usual, when it was announced that Jim Burke, former owner of JAMES, would be stepping in as Morgan’s chef-inresidence for the season. Having come from a stint as executive chef of DB Bistro Moderne in Manhattan, returning back to Philly appears to be working well for the past winner of Food & Wine’s Best New Chef distinction. “It’s been great,” says Burke with a smile. “We’re very happy to

16 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

be here. I don’t think we realized how difficult New York was until we got out of the grind of it. We saw the difference of what the quality of life is here.”

So how does a fine dining chef go from the quiet dining rooms and kitchens to the chaos that is Delaware Avenue?

Pretty smoothly it seems. Burke’s menu includes finer fare like Saffron Arancini stuffed with lamb ragu, creamy summer truffle gnocchi gratin, and slow roasted chicked, to complement the traditional Morgan’s picnic-y dishes of cheesesteak, burgers and lobster roll. Burke’s favorite?

“I like the lamb a lot.” (Slow roasted whole lamb, served with local veggies and an eggplant puree.) “I like large format, shareable things and that’s made for two people and you get a variety of cuts from

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the lamb. It’s very slowly roasted over several hours with rosemary and garlic.� “This is pretty much the opposite of anything I’ve ever done. It’s very high volume, very fast-paced. Even people that have done high volume are surprised at the amount of volume that we do here,� explains Burke. “Especially with the sized staff we have and the size of the kitchen.

You have to think about things completely differently. You have to design the menu in that way, you have to design the prep in a way that enables you to still cook things to order but very streamlined, so it’s just a few minutes before it gets to the window. You have to go through a lot of systems to make sure everything is consistent and fast.�

Burke says that on a typical Saturday night the bar/restaurant will see more than 2,000 guests come through its doors. “Not everybody eats and not everybody eats a lot, but we are constantly getting tickets.�

We had to ask what’s next for Burke and his wife, Kristina, once the summer is over and the beer garden hibernates for the winter. “We’ve been churning around a couple of things for a while now and we’ve just recently gotten very comfortable with some concepts and feel that they could work.â€? If you think that means another move away, fear not foodies. “We’re here, we’re staying, we have two kids, so we’re not moving around anymore. Hopefully, the timing will work and when this is over we’ll be ready to announce something.â€? And when asked if he might not want to leave the club scene, Burke laughed, “It’s deďŹ nitely different than what I’m used to.â€?

We’re still craving a second helping of the addictive mint-infused watermelon,

a fresh salad with feta and red onion. We asked Burke what makes it so good. “We use a honey lemon dressing, Bulgarian feta, which is not as dry and salty, it’s a little higher quality so it’s more creamy.�

Burke explained that the watermelon in also compressed in a vacuum machine, which concentrates the avor and the texture. “If the weather ever starts to cooperate that watermelon salad will actually be something you crave as refreshing.â€? That time has come, James! „

TO ENTER TO WIN AN ADMIT-TWO PASS, VISIT PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM/CONTESTS NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. SEATING IS FIRST-COME,FIRST-SERVED AND CANNOT BE GUARANTEED. THEATER IS OVERBOOKED TO ENSURE CAPACITY.

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ART

|

BY JACQUELINE RUPP @PhillyJackie

Photo by Abi Reimold

Gavin

Selena

Teen Photo Exhibition

T

Selena

Gavin

his is the last week to catch this year’s Teen Photo Exhibition before it closes at the Philadelphia Photo Arts (PPAC) gallery in Kensington. We caught up with PPAC Education Coordinator Josh Brilliant and two of his students, Gavin and Selena to find out more about this high school program, now in its fifth year, which began as just six students but has grown to a class of 45.

“I’m really interested in technology. What I generally take pictures of are flowers, I’m a gardener. This last Christmas I received a Nikon as a gift. Nature and landscape shots I really like. Currently I’m really good at taking pictures of people. I didn’t really know that.

But natural photography is what I’m really into. I might make this a career to fall back on or a second form of income, so I’ll definitely pursue it more.” —GAVIN

“We’re creating a photobook of all the student’s works, each person contributes four photographs. We just sent that to the printer actually. And then there’s the exhibition. Every student gets a wall space, they choose their photos and we exhibit them. We’ve had some amazing success stories. One student in our first year, came from a family who never attended college, she received a scholarship to the University of the Arts and she’s doing amazing. The first to go to college in her family and now she’s studying photography. We have a lot of stories like that.” —JOSH BRILLIANT

“I’m an Instagram fanatic. When I first came here I wasn’t really into social media because I thought it was all about drama. But when I got Instagram, I was like wow. I love taking pictures, I love being in pictures.

I love having people in my pictures, so why not do it full time for fun? My art teacher pointed me to this program and I was like “alright, I’ll try it.” But then I got my friends involved and we all love it. I love taking pictures of nature.I have a bunch of stuffed bears, so I take pictures of my stuffed bears and my little sister hugging them.” —SELENA Gavin

Gavin

Selena

phillyweekly.com | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 19

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage | Twitter: @FakeDanSavage

Identity Cards

I

am a 40-year-old woman; I came out when I was 16. When I was 17, I met M and we dated for eight years. M was a horrible human being—emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. M still sends me the occasional (creepy) email, wishing me a happy birthday or giving me updates on people I don’t really recall.

I don’t respond. A few years back, I got an email saying that M was now “Mike.” I think it’s important to use the pronouns people want you to use for them. But Mike wasn’t Mike when he was in my life. Changing his pronoun when describing him feels like I’m changing my identity—my first real long-term relationship was with someone I thought was a woman. Mike caused a lot of damage in my life—does he get to fuck up (or complicate) my identity, too? It’s not like the subject of Mike comes up daily. When it does, I feel like a liar if I use “she,” using “he” makes me feel like I’m lying about myself, and stopping to explain everything derails the conversation. And it’s not like I’m being a great trans ally when a conversation gets sidelined by something like: “Well, random coworker whose only trans reference is Caitlyn Jenner, my ex is trans and he’s a psychopath.” —Mike’s Hard Lemonade Block Mike’s number, block his email address, block him on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Periscope, Kik, FuckStick, WhatsApp, CumDump, etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum.

And stop talking about Mike—don’t discuss him with random coworkers, casual acquaintances, or friends. If you absolutely, positively must discuss him with someone—a true intimate with a right to your relationship history, who needs to be sensitive to the abuse you suffered— you can be a good ally to other trans people (not your abusive trans ex) by carefully using nouns and descriptors in place of your asshole ex’s preferred pronouns.

So instead of “I met him when I was still a teenager,” you say, “I met the abusive piece of shit when I was still a teenager.”

Instead of “It took me eight long years to get away from him,” you say, “It took me eight long years to get away from that asshole psychopath.”

What I’m gonna say next will get me slammed on Twitter (heavens), MHL, but I’ve learned not to read my @s, so here we go…

If using male pronouns when referring to your ex is gonna complicate your life— really complicate it—if the “transitioned later” part is likely to get dropped during a game of interoffice telephone, if the qualifier about your ex having identified

as a woman while you were together is likely to get dropped too, and if either of those drops could lead coworkers or casual acquaintances to assume something about you that isn’t true, i.e., that you’re into dudes and therefore gettable by dudes, and if that erroneous assumption could result in your having to deflect awkward and/or unpleasant advances from confused males, or if having your status as a Gold Star Lesbian questioned could induce orientational dysphoria… I don’t see the nontheoretical harm in you—and only you—misgendering Mike on the rare occasion when a convo about him can’t be avoided. You don’t live near him, no one you know knows him, and the misgendering is unlikely to get back to him. The adage “no harm, no foul” applies here.

But it would be simpler, easier, and allyier if you sidestepped the issue by not speaking to anyone about your asshole ex ever again.

I am a fortysomething bi woman happily married to a newly transitioned 50ish trans woman. I have a history of putting myself about a bit (safely) before our relationship, but we have been monogamous since we met (except for a disastrous threesome). My wife hasn’t put herself about and has slept with only myself and one other to whom she was also married—and that threesome. She understands that I have a high libido and mostly she doesn’t. Our sex life is loving and good mostly, but I do want more. There have been discussions on opening up our relationship—but essentially I want to and she is resistant. I want to do this with transparency and with men (mostly), but I don’t feel this is realistic emotionally for her given some conflict we’ve had over this issue. Is cheating the only answer here? —Never Overly Terrified I can see how it might be emotionally tricky for a recently transitioned trans woman—that would be your wife—to cheerfully sign off on her second wife sleeping with men (mostly) and with transparency (ethically). But if you absolutely, positively can’t commit to sleeping with only her for the rest of your life, NOT, and you can’t get her permission to sleep with others… then, yes, there’s cheating. There’s also fantasy, masturbation, repression, sublimation, self-sacrifice—and divorce.

There’s more Savage Love!

Read more at ph.ly/savage Ask a question: mail@savagelove.net

phillyweekly.com | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 21

PW R E A L

TIMAREE’S BODY

by Timaree Schmit @timaree_leigh

Timaree Floats T

he more fervently someone insists that they don’t have time to meditate, the more they need to do it.

Same goes for napping, taking a vacation, and hitting the gym. The healthiest (and most productive) people devote time to self-maintenance without shame. Breaks are not only OK, they’re necessary for optimal brain function. Even so, we shouldn’t have to justify chilling the fuck out.

We can thank the marriage of Puritanism and capitalism for the idea that idleness is not only inefficient but immoral.

The implication is that you must justify your existence. If you’re not constantly contributing, you must be taking, parasitically.

This is how we end up with a society that doesn’t get enough sleep or exercise, where we self-medicate with caffeine, booze and whatever else replicates the brain chemicals we crave. We think it’s selfish to spend time or money on things that make us feel good. We are told pleasure and relaxation are luxuries. We fill our schedules so tightly with responsibilities that there’s not enough room to breathe.

So what if, for 90 minutes, I did literally nothing? Not just taking off for a bit to catch up with a friend over coffee, but literally nothing. That was the question when I scheduled my session in a sensory deprivation tank at Halcyon Floats.

I assumed I would have a panic attack.

Given how I feel when I have to sit still for extended periods of time, I expected anxiety and or sleepiness. I’m not exactly claustrophobic, but everyone has their mental limits inside a confined space. As someone with ADD, the prospect of having no external stimulation seemed both like paradise and torture. Certainly, this would be an adventure.

Kerilyn, the owner of Halcyon Floats, was spectacularly prepared for these concerns. She greeted me warmly, gave me a chance to read a thorough set of instructions and then explained the entire process step-by-step.

There’s a level of anxiety—where a person is outside their comfort zone but not fully panicked—and that’s the sweet spot for learning. That’s where I was. And this was essential in retaining the many details I needed to embark on my first float.

I would take a shower beforehand, but I’d want to put my earplugs in first. It should be cold water. I’d need to examine my skin for abrasions and cover them with petroleum jelly so the Epsom salt didn’t cause irritation. There’s a method to getting into the tank and back out, instructions on what to do if I drift up against a wall or if salt gets in my eyes. There’s no

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The entrance hatch does not lock. When the time is up, there will be instrumental music to bring me back to reality but I shouldn’t get too hung up on listening for it because it’ll be obvious and besides: I might have auditory hallucinations.

The key, she reiterated, is that no two people react the same.

I followed the directions, convinced the entire time I would be that person, the one who managed to fuck up floating on salt water. But as soon as I lay back in the tank, I was transported to the kind of experience that usually takes a magical brownie at least an hour. It felt like being on a gentle Lazy River ride in infinite time and space. Clearly, I was not moving, but my idiot brain was convinced otherwise.

It was certain that I was being physically ushered across the universe. My eyes, lacking input, filled in the blanks with a panoply of colors and patterns.

It’s impossible to say how long that sensation continued. At some point it turned to anxiety that I should be shutting down my thoughts more, getting into whatever it is meditation is “supposed” to feel like.

My brain drifted from consciously thinking about breathing, to sex, to conflict, and back to the Lazy River ride in space.

I might have fallen asleep; there’s no way to know.

Unmistakably, music seeped into my awareness. Clearly it had been 90 minutes. Upon exiting, I checked my phone and sure enough, that much time had elapsed. Huh. It wasn’t like the brain high or the bodily exhaustion of a workout. But when I emerged, I was chill AF. I didn’t even yell at traffic when I hopped on my bike. I wasn’t a zombie, nor was I shot out of cannon ready to take over the world.

I was just relaxed. And I noted how long it had been that I felt that way. Until we finally get therapy, a good sweat, or full night’s sleep, we rarely realize how desperately we needed it. That was, for me, my first float.

Halcyon Floats, 209 W. Girard Ave. & 6068 Ridge Ave. $59-$79. halcyonfloats.com

22 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

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Luxury never before offered in Center City Philadelphia. Introducing, The Adagio. 5200 square foot New Construction homes at the City’s most prominent location. Up to 6,175 SF of total usable space, with a 2-car garage ,6 stop residential elevator, Roof Deck with PLUNGE POOL, OUTDOOR KITCHEN, and a 300 sq’ pilot house suite with wet bar, half bath, and elevator access to roof deck!!

5 bedrooms, 1 office, 5 full baths and 2 half bathrooms. Finished basement with media room. Live the ultimate urban lifestyle at Adagio

$639,900

Beautiful 3BD/3.5BA home nestled on a charming tree-lined block in Hawthorne and completely renovated just two years ago, complete with a rooftop terrace, contemporary baths, side yard, finished basement and gorgeous hand scraped birch hardwood floors throughout. Step into the wide open living/dining room with large front window.

The eat-in kitchen boasts handsome cabinetry, marble countertop, island bar counter, glass tile backsplash, stainless steel appliances and three windows.

GRADUATE HOSPITAL

$595,000

ART MUSEUM AREA

$379,900

Six brand new construction 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath homes built by a quality developer in the highly coveted Graduate Hospital neighborhood. These breathtaking townhomes are adorned with oversized front doors and front architecture. The kitchen features custom gray cabinets with a breakfast bar, Kenmore Elite appliances, an oversized pantry and even a cooktop stove with wall oven. Large sliding doors take you to the spacious backyard, the perfect spot for entertaining.

Pride of ownership is evident in this handsome 2BD/1BA corner home with fantastic light and space and immense charm and character throughout, nestled on a beautiful, quiet, treelined block in a prime location. Step into the wide openly laid open living, dining and kitchen area with beautiful hardwood floors. Open kitchen boasts a tile floor, gas appliances, high ceilings, bar counter, window and pantry closet. Door out to a nice yard, perfect for BBQ’s. Must see today!

WASHINGTON SQ WEST

BELLA VISTA

$475,000

Come see this beautiful 4-story corner home in the highly desirable Washington Square. This is a walkers paradise with a walk score of 99 and a transit score of 94. This 3BD/ 2BA home includes studio space on the main floor with a bedroom and full bath and its own separate entrance. The main entrance leads you to a foyer with a custom mosaic foyer niche. The 2nd floor leads to a large open floor concept beginning with the dining room overlooking Starr Garden Park. Roof deck is a must see!

$415,000

Beautiful 3 bedroom, 1 bath home on an incredible tree-lined block in the heart of Bella Vista.

Step into the living room with bay window and tile flooring. The separate dining area offers a tile floor and coat closet. The working kitchen boasts white cabinetry, corian countertops, window and a door to the rear yard. Center steps take you up to the second floor where you’ll find a front bedroom with two windows and a large walk-in closet, plus a spacious full bathroom off the hall.

Check out our website!

PhillyWeekly.com phillyweekly.com | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 23

PW R E A L

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HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY AND THANK YOU!

The Damon Michels Team 610.668.3400

“Specializing in MainLine & Center City�

Damon Michels Damon@DamonMichels.com 160 Homes www.DamonMichels.com Sold in 2015

SHEFFIELD COURT

OLD 50% S

To all of our Armed Forces and Service People who gave their lives so that we can be safe and free.

Also, to all who are currently serving in our Armed Forces

T H A N K YO U Patrick Conway

Kathy Conway

215-266-1537 215-850-3842 A]QWSbg 6WZZ =TÂż QS Â’ # $ % $ # Â’ >ZSOaS dWaWb ca ]\ZW\S Ob www.conwayteam.com

4 New construction Carriage homes starting at $599,000 4 beds/3.1 baths; 2 car garage; Open Floor plan with 2600+ Sq ft MAIN LINE SUBURBS 1750 Oakwood Ter 16G, Penn Valley ) 9\[&) 9Xk_2 :fe[f Xk FXb ?`cc ),0#'''

The William Penn House - Center City Living!

Studios $130,000 to $160,000 1 Bedrooms $250,000 to $300,000 2 Bedrooms $300,000 to $450,000 3 Bedrooms $400,000 to $550,000 @eZcl[\j i\Xc \jkXk\ kXo › Ef kiXej]\i kXo

4812 Church Road, Doylestown - 9\[&, 9Xk_2 -++* jh ]k :fcfe`Xc (#-,'#''' 5404 Parkview Drive, Haverford 2005 County Line Road, Villanova * 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )0-) jh ]k :fe[f , 9\[&*%) 9Xk_2 *+.- jh ]k :fcfe`Xc -*,#''' $999,999 306 Clwyd Road, Bala Cynwyd 127 Carriage Court, Plymouth Mtg , 9\[iffd&)%* 9Xk_j2 ,+)' jh ]k IXeZ_ + 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 )-.0 jh ]k :Xii`X^\ ?fd\ /''#''' $575,000 300 Lawrence Road, Broomall 56 Cornell Road, Bala Cynwyd * 9\[&* 9Xk_2 )''' jh ]k IXeZ_ *-,#''' * 9\[&* 9Xk_2 (+0) jh ]k IXeZ_ +''#''' 1411 Waverly Rd, Gladwyne JUST REDUCED , 9\[&,%) 9Xk_ E\n :fejkilZk`fe (#0,'#''' 7001 Wayne Avenue, Upper Darby 360 Gulph Hills Road, Wayne - 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )/+, jh ]k :fcfe`Xc (0,#''' , 9\[&*%) 9Xk_2 )-(. jh ]k :fcfe`Xc ,-'#''' 749 County Line Road, Bryn Mawr 331 N Lansdowne Ave, Lansdowne * 9\[&( 9Xk_2 (*0, jh ]k <e[ Le`k Ifn + 9\[&) 9Xk_2 )*,( :fcfe`Xc )*0#''' $165,000 200 Walnut Avenue, Wayne 515 Hamilton Road, Merion Station - 9\[&* 9Xk_ M`Zkfi`Xe n&>l\jk ?flj\ + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )*() jh ]k :fcfe`Xc ,.,#''' (#)+0#''' 528 Conshohocken State Rd, Gladwyne 1150 Grandview Ter, Wayne + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )--+ jh ]k :fcfe`Xc + 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 +)+0 jh ]k Kfne_flj\ $700,000 /00#''' 154 Upland Ter, Bala Cynwyd 20 W Turnbull Avenue, Havertown , 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 )()- jh ]k Kn`e ,''#''' + 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 ),-+ jh ]k i\_XYY\[ Zfcfe`Xc 807 Bowman Ave, Wynnewood $500,000 + 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 *'0) jh ]k :fcfe`Xc --'#''' 3538 Oriole Dr, Huntingdon Valley CONDO LIVING , 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 *,+* jh ]k Jgc`k$C\m\c +*0#''' 191 Presidential Blvd, Bala Cynwyd R903: ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 0.( jh ]k :fe[f ()*#0'' 1224 Lafayette Road, Gladwyne R901: ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 0+* jh ]k :fe[f (,'#''' , 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 *('' jh ]k :fcfe`Xc .00#''' 824-25: ) 9\[&) 9Xk_2 )('' jh ]k :fe[f +00#''' 1349 Wooded Way, Bryn Mawr 1600 Hagys Ford 2J, Penn Valley . 9\[&-%) 9Xk_2 0(0/ jh ]k :fcfe`Xc (#.00#''' ) 9\[&(%( 9Xk_2 0-, jh ]k :fe[f ()-#''' 941 Bryn Mawr Avenue, Penn Valley 1600 Hagys Ford 8G, Penn Valley - 9\[&,%( 9Xk_# /)*( jh ]k EfidXe[p 1 Bed/1 Bath; 766 sq ft Condo $125,000 $1,155,000

NEW LISTING QUEEN VILLAGE *OHYTPUN Z[VY` JVSVUPHS MLH[\YPUN L_[YH ^PKL WSHUR WPUL Ă&#x2026; VVYZ H ILH\[PM\SS` [PSLK ^VVK I\YUPUN Ă&#x201E; YL WSHJL H ZWHJPV\Z ZPKL HUK YLHY `HYK

CENTER CITY PHILA.

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2012 Spruce Street, Rittenhouse Square , 9\[&, 9Xk_2 .(,, jh ]k Kfne_fd\ $3,690,000 NEW LISTINGS 3600 Conshohocken Ave #501, River Park ) 9\[&) 9Xk_2 (),( jh ]k :fe[f 0+#0'' 1013 Carpenter St, Bella Vista * 9\[&) 9Xk_2 (+,. jh ]k Kfne_fd\ ++0#,'' 500 Lombard St, Society Hill * 9\[&*%( 9Xk_2 )/'' jh ]k Kfne_fd\ .+0#''' 3112 Haverford Ave., Powelton Village ,9\[&)%(9Xk_2 (#00/ jh ]k Kfne_flj\ */0#,'' 303-5 S 11th St., Washington Sq West Le`k ('1 ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 /-/ jh ]k :fe[f )''#''' 1919 Walnut Street, Rittenhouse Square .#''' jh ]k :fdd\iZ`Xc JgXZ\ )#0,'#''' 1412 South Street, Avenue of the Arts :fdd\iZ`Xc JgXZ\ /),#''' 50 Belmont Avenue #410, Bala Cynwyd * 9\[&)%( 9Xk_2 (#0.( jh ]k :fe[f ,00#''' 303-5 S 11th St., Washington Sq West Le`k ('1 ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 /-/ jh ]k :fe[f )''#''' 2001 Hamilton St #517, Art Museum ( 9\[&( 9Xk_2 -.+ jh ]k :fe[f ))0#0'' 19 Rock Hill Rd 4F, Bala Cynwyd ) 9\[&) 9Xk_ ()(- jh ]k :fe[f (00#'''

NEW PRICE GIRARD ESTATE AREA :[VY` JVU[LTWVYHY` OVTL MLH[\Y PUN ^HSU\[ Z[HPULK OHYK^VVK Ă&#x2026; VVYZ JHY WHYRPUN H ZPKL `HYK H YVVM KLJR HUK H IHSJVU` ^P[O H WPJ[\Y LZX\L ]PL^

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-YVT

START YOUR HOME OWNERSHIP JOURNEY TODAY. MORTGAGE PROGRAMS INCLUDE:

FHA 9 VA 9 USDA 9 5/'1 9 "42)&/.-0) 9 Renovation & more!

Matthew Lynch

Senior Mortgage Loan Originator - NMLS# 785395

www.fcloans.com/mlynch Contact me today!

9 /.80(, *('/4+ (1/ 9 777 *(',1/).1&03 (1/ /.80(,

24 | Philly Weekly | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | phillyweekly.com

First Choice Loan Services Inc. (NMLS# 210764) a wholly owned subsidiary of First Choice Bank (NMLS# 177877) is located at 729 Grove Ave, Suite 7, Southampton, PA 18966.

First Choice Loan Services Inc. is registered or exempt from state licensing in the states it originates mortgage loans. Licensed by the NJ Department of Banking and Insurance. AZ BK# 0918586. First Choice Loan Services Inc. is not an agency of the federal government and is not afďŹ liatedwith your current lender. All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, terms and conditions are current, but are subject to change and may expire without notice.

Other restrictions may apply. All applications must be submitted in writing. This advertisement is not a loan disclosure and all disclosures provided after applying should be reviewed carefully.

This is not a commitment to provide a loan approval or a speciďŹ c interest rate. 03.11.2016

PW R E A L

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TWILIGHT OPEN HOUSE:

PW AGENT OF THE WEEK A happy client shares an awesome review about working with Bibe Chin: “Bibe Chin worked with us to find a home near Center City Philadelphia. She did a terrific job, and she was a real pleasure to work with. She was constantly accessible, responded immediately to emails, and regularly made herself available, often at short notice, at the times convenient to us. She was very well informed, provided helpful information about the neighborhoods, and gave us sound advice. Since she knew that we may not be keeping the property for many years, she provided useful insights as to aspects of each property that would make the future sale easier or more challenging. She was a tough negotiator on our behalf. During our inspection period, her contacts were extremely helpful, and she made sure that we got whatever information was needed. With Bibe’s assistance, the closing went completely smoothly. We enthusiastically recommend Bibe to anyone looking for a buyer’s agent.”

-Fairmount Home Buyer via Zillow.com

The Residences at The Ritz Carlton 1414 S. Penn Sq., Phila., Pa 19102 WEDNESDAY -AY s PM PM Residence #16 E 1 Bed, 1 1/2 Baths, 1042 sf New Reduced Price: $725,000 Bryant & Wilde Realty, LLC 210 W. Rittenhouse Sq. Suite 405 | Phila., PA 19103 www.bryantrealty.com sales@ bryantrealty.com Diane Bryant: 610-529-8000 Margie Wilde: 215-888.8500 Office: 215.893.6100 | Fax: 215.644.8826

Contact Bibe and The McCann Team today!

BHHS Fox & Roach Realtors | 530 Walnut St. Suite 260, Phila. PA 19106 bchin@mccannteam.com | O: 215-627-6007 | D: 267-210-0489 | www.mccannteam.com

SuperStrongWindow.com

phillyweekly.com | May 26 - June 1, 2016 | Philly Weekly | 25

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Houses for Rent

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