PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 19 - 26, 2020

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FROM THE EDITOR

Shelter in place I

think we’re going to learn a lot If you’re a small biz, tell us what you’re ofabout each other over the next few fering. Tell us if you offer gift certificates and weeks. we’ll host your business where our calendar I know that might sound crazy to listings usually are. In this time, until the feds say considering we’re supposed to be figure out if they’re giving us all a $1,000 stimhunkering down in our homes until ulus or not, we’d love to act as your hype wagfurther notice, but there’s a lot I think on to get over this hump. from forced isolation that we can As I write this, I think about the small busiglean from ourselves and just how patient we nesses we highlight each week. Especially, businesses that advertise your serreally are. vices, products and events with us, Let me start by saying that in just the ones helping to keep us afloat. a week, I’ve read more about this We feel you guys and we thank you virus than I think I have about any for riding with PW. As an editor, I’ll one thing in my entire life, and from tell you that editorial and sales mix what I am reading, there’s inforlike oil and water, but our team colmation streaming from all over the lectively has never been more complace. mitted to promoting what you, at You’ll notice in our pages this the end of the day Philadelphians, week or from the latest content on like us are doing during this trying the site, our goal instead of adding time. to the level of craze, hysteria and It’s weird, man. I know humanity even misinformation that’s been has survived far worse pandemics circulating is to provide you with than this one and have lived to tell some real things that you can do so the story, just as many of us will you don’t go crazy sitting at home once more of COVID-19 is discovwatching an endless stream of mov@SPRTSWTR ered, and hopefully, a vaccine is proies and shows (although, we providduced. But I never thought I’d play ed you with a few of our favorites on witness to an event that has so many people Page 4 if that’s what you choose to do). feeling the burn on a mass level. A week ago, You’ll also notice that our calendar is gone for this week. With mostly everything can- I was telling folks to remain calm and wash celed there’s really nothing for us to suggest their hands and at the end of the day, I still you do, and honestly it’d be somewhat crimi- believe that’s the best bet. But a week ago, the pandemic hadn’t hit all 50 states, life as I knew nal for us to suggest you do anything dealing it wasn’t closed until further notice and a perwith crowds right now anyway. son I know wasn’t a confirmed case.

But as a community of readers, reading This is a crazy time. But we can get through more than ever now that a pandemic has givall of it together. If you’re reading this, thank en us time to, I think we can help each other out. We’d like to use our pages, social media you. If you’re reading this in print, a special channels and website to host the things you’re thanks given the circumstances. Everyone stay safe, stay calm and keep us informed on doing to pass the time so we all don’t go crazy. how you’re doing both. Shoot us an e-mail at Tell us the influencers we should be following, voices@philadelphiaweekly.com or drop us a the people making the funniest Tik Tok videos in Philadelphia. The sites that are giving real- line in our DMs on Facebook, Twitter or Insly, really good information about the coronavi- tagram.

Fingers crossed, I’ll catch you next week, rus on a local level (for me, the folks at Al Dia Philadelphia. are crushing it).

KERITH GABRIEL

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STATE OF OUR CITY

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STATE

While the feds decide whether or not to give us all 1,000 bucks or not, we should consider giving a reprieve to the thousands of small businesses in Philadelphia that are figuring out how to stay afloat. You’ve heard others suggest buying gift cards and, honestly, it’s genius. To entice people to do the same, University City District is upping the ante, matching dollar-for-dollar on every purchase up to $250 per restaurant. At the time of this report, they already had 12 restaurants to consider. We’re not saying shop U-City, we’re just saying this will be over soon (we hope), so think about how awesome it’ll be to have a gift card at your favorite restaurant to celebrate.

Philadelphia Weekly Holdings, Ltd. 1520 Locust Street, suite 501 Philadelphia, PA 19102 215-543-3743

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CITY

FUCK YOU, #COVID-19

Support small biz

The number of confirmed cases in just 24 hours that brought the total to 18 in Philadelphia as of Tuesday. Additionally, 9 a.m. ET was right around the same time an announcement arrived that Uber and Lyft suspended ride shares in Philadelphia for the foreseeable future.

All that means is we’ll just have to carpool with people we know as opposed to complete strangers, which, if you think about it is refreshing in itself.

OF OUR

There are two approaches we could’ve taken this week. The first is to continue to hit you with more of the same – the rising confirmed case counts in the city, the fact that your way of life is on hold for the foreseeable future and that we’re almost four months into the start of what is now a virus of pandemic proportion and there’s still no real clear answer on what the fuck to do besides stay in the house until the government tells you it’s OK to come out.

We’re going with approach No. 2. We can’t change the suck factor of the coronavirus outbreak and the fact that so many of us are losing precious dollars by the day as a result of not working. This week, we’re going to provide you with the things you can do instead of thinking about all the shit you can’t.

Think of something we missed? Doing something you want to tell the rest of the city about? Email us at mail@philadelphiaweekly.com or hit us on social media with the hashtag #PWVoices.

9 Dan McDonough, Jr. Chairman & Publisher Kerith Gabriel Editor in Chief

John Montesano Alan Bauer Art Director Managing Editor Contributors: A.D. Amorosi, Tom Beck, Jared Brey, Michael Greger, Jamie Giambrone, Courtenay Harris Bond, Brian Hickey, Jon Hurdle, Resolve Philadelphia, Dan Savage, Timaree Schmit, Stephen Silver, Steve Teare. Interns: Cheyenne Fowler, Alex Nagy

To contact the news department: mail@philadelphiaweekly.com.

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Michael Chambers Director of Circulation

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5

HE SAID IT...

“This is an unprecedented situation that has no playbook. We’ll be making updates as they arise.”

– Philadelphia mayor Jim Kenney on March 16 at the podium for the city’s daily updates around the outbreak. Coincidentally, March 17 marked the first time the city decided to put a bottle of hand sanitizer on said podium that numerous men over the age of 50 stood in front of.

A reason to hate the PPA slightly less...

On Tuesday, Scott Petri, the executive director of the Philadelphia Parking Authority, announced his goons will not be out ticketing metered, kiosk or residential parking during the shutdown. You will, however, be ticketed if you double park, park in a crosswalk or so much as question PPA’s methods on conducting business. If you didn’t think COVID-19 was serious before, PPA relaxing on its own policies should certainly hammer home this shit is no joke.

OVERHEARD IN PHILLY

“I think the best part of this entire experience is watching all of the people who should be experts in medicine and government have the same dumbfounded ‘I don’t know, what do you think we should do’ look on all their faces.

It really brings back to mind that in times of severe crisis how truly fucked we really are.”

— This gem came from two moms sitting on a park bench watching their kids at the playground inside Roberto Clemente Park in Fairmount on Sunday. If those moms listened closely, they’d realize that the virus stays on plastics and metals for up to a week and that their kids probably shouldn’t be touching swings, slides and other equipment during a pandemic if they’re truly concerned. Oh, and that stat didn’t come from us, it came from the epidemiologists working around the clock to figure this thing out.

Whatchu watchin’ Philly?

One of the things that’s going to happen over the next few weeks is that we’re all going to be consuming a ton of television while we wait for these restrictions to be lifted. We picked these four things on the tube that should take your mind off the 24/7 news around the virus.

30 for 30 | ESPN With there being no sports at all to consume thanks to COVID-19, ESPN has been regaling viewers with its award-winning documentaries. They’re always on and, just recently to help us all get by, they’ve put a slew of them on-demand for your viewing pleasure. For example, we never knew until this weekend that soon-to-be NBA Hall of Famer Dwyane Wade had a Chicago police officer hold a gun to his head while raiding his childhood home. What?!

Joe Rogan: Triggered | Netflix

The Fear Factor dude is seriously funny, but in a way that as an alt-weekly we can appreciate it. His latest standup on Netflix is seriously funny and mildly offensive all at the same time. We would never have known that the guy who watched people eat bugs, commentates on people choking people out and smoked a blunt with the founder of Tesla, would be a hysterical standup comedian.

Frozen II | Disney+ and Movies-on demand

We’re told by a movie critic we trust that Disney released this one early just so kids can have something to get excited about while parents contemplate life as we know it. So if you’re forced to work from home and you’re at your wit’s end with all of the screaming and bickering in the background while you attempt to analyze spreadsheets, then the $5.99 you’ll spend to rent this for 24 hours is worth every penny.

Uncut Gems | Movies on Demand

You’ll be in awe of just how much Adam Sandler can play a degenerate. Sandler is a jeweler who is constantly gambling with his life and the life of his family for a huge payday. It’s actually a really interesting watch with a plot twist that’ll have you buggin’ out.

If you didn’t catch this one in the theaters, it’s also available for rental on-demand.

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 19 - 26, 2020

FEATURED

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Images | Eric Dale @ericinphilly

Butter and Salmon: Philly’s prolific street artists

Y

ber would call a college radio station that had ou’ve seen them everywhere. a particularly hard time as every call forcibly From lost CDs to power outage interrupted its broadcast. Clearly, Butter and warnings, Butter and Salmon’s Salmon has a flair for disruption. street art is constantly catching If it isn’t obvious by now, their art tends eyes.

When they began with simple to mimic various types of advertisements: A playbill announces the release of “Cheep Tatsock puppet murals, spouting toos.” Wheatpastes and stickers prepare us for friendly advice like “drive slow an upcoming, or long past (2008), World Tour. homie” and “drink your milk,” there was no Another generates hype for their head-to-head telling the lengths they would go. As the birth“World HeavyWeight Championplace of graffiti, Philadelphia is an ship Fight” with Kanye West. A ever-changing hub of street art in particular favorite of mine sells which Butter and Salmon is a main

BY CHEYENNE AUTUMN “Used Coffin Rentals for as low as star. They find their way into every $20,000,” to which I say, at least you nook the city has to offer and have know what you’re getting into. become “so prolific that it feels like If you’ve noticed a theme, you’re not alone. their work has just always been around, a part of the city,” says Eric Dale, local freelancer The $20,000 has become a shorthand tag and another absurd staple of their art. Local legand Streets Dept contributor.

Some of their most popular works are the end says Butter and Salmon joked that if they posters asking “Have You Seen My These could sell just one piece of their work, any CDs?” often found in West Philly. The fliers piece, for $20,000, it would all pay off. It may have started in jest, but the price tag stuck. pull people in with their illusion of legitiNow you find it hidden in obscure places, such macy, and it’s only after one reads about the $20,000 reward that they begin to understand as restaurant bathroom mirrors, laundromat vending machines, and the backs of moving it’s a joke. A range of callback numbers has vans. been listed over the years, and more curious The touch and go nature of street art recitizens have followed through for hilarious results. One calls Amoeba Music, a vinyl shop quires tact from its participants. Yet, even in based in Los Angeles, which claims to have never even heard of the group. Another numSEE BUTTER SALMON, PAGE 8

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 19 - 26, 2020

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FEATURED

BUTTER SALMON, FROM PAGE 7 an art form known for its anonymity, Butter and Salmon takes the cake. The closest thing to a face that’s been shown would be their iconic squiggly (self ?) portrait featuring a long nose, sunken eyes and unkempt mustache. But who’s to say what the artist or artists really look like? They’ve never been interviewed, have limited social media presence, and have made no public appearances in relation to their art.

Simple internet searches lead to a Bandcamp page, home to some surprisingly chill beats with albums such as “Bodacious Butter,” “Every Time, No Matter The Time” and “Theme From A Dream.” Their Twitter account is largely inactive apart from a few 2012 messages and a recent video titled “I thought this Jawn was a shoe” that I highly recommend. Many believe their Instagram page to be abandoned, as @butterandsalmon is home to only a single photo of the Chinatown Gate.

However, true to form, they’ve simply gone with something less than obvious to throw us off their trail – only the most dedicated of fans have a chance of tracking them down. Their ever-present facelessness creates a sense that Butter and Salmon could be any one of us, or

MARCH 19 - 26, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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perhaps even all of us.

In fact, they very well could be. The availability of stickers means anyone with a sharpie and something to say can join in. Words and images can be shared without censure between those living in and passing through spaces. With a medium accessible to just about everyone, many artists use the streets as a venue “to display art without having to go through the traditional gallery scene,” says Dale. For better or worse, the city has become an interactive message board where people can express themselves, share their body of work and change the urban landscape around them. However, not everyone sees this freedom of form as a positive thing…

Some do not appreciate the sticky additions to our streets or the massive names scrawled across rooftops. In recent years, Philadelphia has cited it as vandalism and taken increased steps to remove street art, especially in Center City. During his time contributing to Streets Dept, Dale has noticed that “the buff has gotten more aggressive. The scraping, and painting, and the silver spray paint on the backs of signs...”

It’s gotten to the point where some artists won’t even bother getting up downtown because of how swiftly their art will be removed.

Despite the city cracking down, the buff hasn’t stopped people from reaching new, literal heights to spread their messages. It certainly hasn’t been slowing Butter and Salmon down either, as they are still constantly creating and releasing new designs onto every inch of the city. They’ve even commented directly on erasure efforts in the past with a piece titled “Gray Skies,” featuring a signature sock puppet saying, “This is much better than a gray wall … but since it is ‘graffiti’ someone will paint it gray.”

For those of us who spend our time in the streets, our urban artists bring us back to a city that is a beautiful, dynamic landscape we can interact with at will. Butter and Salmon has successfully turned a hobby into a citywide phenomenon. Like Gritty, cheesesteaks, or the word “jawn,” they are a treasure specific to Philadelphia. Their consistent absurdity reminds us it’s not all gentrification and SEPTA delays out here. Sometimes all we need is a good laugh and the encouragement to speak our own message, no matter how quirky it seems. It can’t be more ridiculous than feeding butter to salmon...

If you weren’t already, keep your head up and an eye out. You’ll start seeing them everywhere.

Images | Eric Dale @ericinphilly

ARTS

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Image | Eric Smart

The spotlight is yours Read all about yourself in PW

A

s you know, as everybody knows by now, the coronavirus is canceling events left and right. Concerts, comedy gigs, theater, you name it, and it’s probable that anything scheduled for the next few weeks has been canceled.

And while that sucks for the performers and their fans, it also has opened a new opportunity for local artists, especially those who might not have hit the big-time yet.

PW wants to turn the spotlight on local bands, artists, comedians, performers, etc. We want to profile you, tell your story, talk about your music, comedy, stage act, whatever, and let people know how they can find out more about you.

All you have to do is tell us you want to be featured in PW. Send an email to mail@philadelphiaweekly. com. Tell us a little about yourself, your career, how you got started, etc. Attach a couple of high-res photos if you can.

From there, we’ll reach out to you and get the ball rolling.

Nobody likes being stuck at home for who knows how long, but we can make the best of it.

Let’s start by introducing some of Philly’s homegrown talent to the rest of the city.

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 19 - 26, 2020

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GOSSIP

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Image | CDC on Unsplash

icepack

The end?

If this is it, Icepack wants lots of drama MARCH 19 - 26, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

S

o, how’s your apocalypse going? It’s Bibou gets it lame with so much stuff shuttered.

Like you, I have been receiving dining-out Hell, at least the characters in Evewarnings (“we’re closed”) and menu options lyn Waugh’s “Vile Bodies” got the since the start of Philly-COVID-19, and all chance to go out into the abyss fuckhave been thoughtful and thorough when it ing, boozing and wantonly carouscomes to maintaining health and well-being. ing before the grand finale.

Same with Bibou’s.

What do we get with the coronaviBut, speaking of my aforemenrus scarefest? Take out at Cry Baby, tioned plea for dedicated decadence roomy seating options at Vetri Cuciin the face of despair, Bibou stated

BY A.D. AMOROSI na and Zahav. Not shabby. that it “will now only be offering a I’m typing this while in line for 4-course Bistronomic style menu Fiorella’s take out right now. And with choices priced at $80. This menu yet, it’s not solely worth sailing sowill include some of our classics berly into the abyss over, right, unless those dishes, such as escargot, quenelle, and foie meals come with Mescal and mescaline. If gras….We will keep you updated as to when this is the end, my friends – and I’m starting we will switch back to our 7-course tasting to hum like Jim Morrison and Peggy Lee, so menu.” watch out – let’s hope we can do it with some Boo ya, Bibou. THAT’S WHAT I’M real drama. Put your thinking caps on, kids. I TALKING ABOUT. If you’re going to head want some answers. Some scenarios. into the abyss, LIVE IT UP.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

GOSSIP

That’s an early wrap bunnies. And, I will not be letting my styling from Joey Clark, owner of Kin Boutique, go I was all psyched to tell you that Philly star alums such as Kevin Hart and Tina Fey had to waste either, I’m putting on that beautiful announced top-tier projects coming up soon- black sequins dress, and I will be interacting er-than-later; 13th and Erie’s Hart’s next film, with my fans through Instagram, Facebook an action-crime comedy with “The Man from and Twitter while the show is on.”

Look for the @ChefJenCarroll sign, and for Toronto,” co-starring Woody Harrelson, and Upper Darby’s Fey return to the creative crew her pop-up events at local eateries and private spots through her ever-popular Carroll Couof co-writers and co-producers who co-made “30 Rock” with a new animated sci-fi come- ture Cuisine floating meal site to resume soon.

New Lil Uzi Vert dy series set to music stream on Netflix, I like surprises.

“Mulligan.”

And I like Philly’s ZOINK. In Lil Uzi Vert. So comes COVD-19 imagine my surand shuts down prise at his surprise the Hart film, and – two surprises, acslows down “Multually – when two ligan” (now word weeks ago, and after on how animated three years of starts, films will move stops, Instagram fit along, and live acpics, retirements, tion film producguest features, Heavtion has all-but en’s Gate Hale-Bopp stopped cold). lawsuits and $90,000 At least Hart college tuition payhas his new inoffs to those willvestment to look ing to finish school forward to – a $20 (https://www.inmillion co-venture stagram.com/p/ with Jay-Z and B1fVVldjO_4/?utm_ friends in Hunsource=ig_emgry, a catering app bed), Uzi decided for independent to not only drop chefs that was inione version of his tially launched in long-awaited “EterPhilly and DC four nal Atake” album, years ago. Adding but two versions, insult to injury, the second one feaPhilly’s M. Night Philly chef Jennifer Carroll prepares for her home “Top turing 14 even brand Shyamalan has put Chef All Stars” party. Image | Ilana Weber newer songs with a hold on filming Future and Young the second seaThug. I can’t wait to see what happens this son of his Apple TV+ series “Servant” in his Friday. For the record, “Eternal Atake” leapt hometown. “Love this cast and crew. They’re straight into No. 1 on the Billboard 200 Album Family. Sending them all home this evening,” Shyamalan announced via social media. Chart, marking his second No. 1 and the big“We’ll all be back together in Philadelphia gest streaming week for an album since 2018.

Gone too soon very soon telling our dark little tale.”

If you came up in Philadelphia in the ‘90s, Chef duel two sides of the social spectrum were in their I know that you know that I know that you fullest flower: the power ties, caricatures, know that Spice Finch’s Jennifer Carroll is serving her best revenge cold and in a vichys- three-martini lunches and wheeling-dealing dynamics of The Palm and – on a far more soise way on this, the upcoming season of the Bravo Network’s weekly series “Top Chef All personal level – the indie music booking-proStars” that starts on March 19. For those keep- moting invention, and the warmth and camaraderie of Bryan Dilworth. ing score (and I know you are) Carroll debuted Both passed this week – Dilworth too too in season six of “Top Chef” in 2009 and has rejoined the team on seasons 8 and 15, as well as soon and too too sadly. Pairing the death of a watering hole and a human being might seem on its spin-off program, “Top Chef Duels.” crass, but hear me out. Each represented a Anyway, she’s battling other one-time “Top Chef” contestants for culinary world domina- signature of Philadelphia life that cannot be erased by time or dimmed in death. Both will tion, and, to go with that March “All-Stars” be richly remembered by the many people showing, Carroll was originally “going to be in who habited them and hung with them, long LA for a big premiere party and the first ever “Top Chef” Food & Wine Festival, but, that into the future. And there will be a future, so has all been canceled because of COVID-19,” get over yourselves. said Carroll. “I will now be hosting a watch @ADAMOROSI party from my home with my fiancé and my

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MUSIC

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Logan’s Khemist is back with a new live performance video, this time stripped down to just the artist, an acoustic guitar and his vocals. Image | Brian Freeman

Khemist’s journey

BY EUGENE ZENYATTA

The artist from Logan talks about his influences, music

MARCH 19 - 26, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

I

ncited by the decision to stop speaking as a child, Khemist’s career as journeyman lyricist began at a local playground, when, as a child, he darted to retrieve a loose ball. That led to an encounter with a man facing certain death.

“I didn’t even start talking in school until I went to high school. My whole middle school experience, I didn’t talk at all,” he says in his bio. “I went to the park at Barrett playground. The ball bounced behind the rec and I went to retrieve it and saw this man just bleeding out – lying there. Me and my man looked for a second, then some oldhead came and told us to move. He told us not to say anything so we never said nothing.

We went back to playing ball. I still don’t know what happened to that guy. After that I didn’t talk in school from fifth to eighth grade.”

MUSIC

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY Taking the instruction to keep quiet to heart, Khemist applied the directive to his entire life and musical career. Robbed of his innocence in that split second, he traded conversation for self-reliance, an extensive vocabulary and razor sharp observational skill.

A former workshop leader for the Philadelphia Youth Poetry Movement, Khemist cut his teeth writing poetry, listening to “The Come Up Show” with DJ Cosmic Kev, watching Def Poetry Jam and battle rap DVDs. He cites Sonia Sanchez, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Black Ice, Mums Da Schemer, Sonny Patterson, Lauryn Hill, Ursula Rucker, Nas, Toni Morrison, Robert Browning, Nicki Giovanni and Octavia Butler as major influences.

Adding his two cents to the rap canon, Khemist first made waves with the “Puzzle Pieces” mixtape. He followed with “Death 2 Wack Rappers,” hosted by Black Thought and the “Khemist x Aktive” mixtape, featuring DJ Aktive. Khemist’s spoken word project, “Lornda & Poems,” is a heartfelt ode to his grandmother Lornda Pack. Virginia radio fixture and Pusha T affiliate DJ Rick Geez joined Khemist on “Scrap Metal.”

Written and recorded in one day, “All In A Day’s Work” dials up the lyrical showmanship of Philadelphia rap lore. Khemist later connected with Zaytona on “Wolves.”

Recording with dedicated producers Micah Forsyth and Anwar Marshall (bka DYAD), Khemist graduated from spoken word poetry and marathon freestyle rap to pick up a guitar at the age of 22. Pairing lyrical prowess with diligent musicianship, he has methodically developed a sound that accurately reflects an encyclopedic knowledge of black American musical folkways and the vast, ambitious nature of his progressive sonic ideals. It is this music that he believes to be the most important of his life.

This year, he has collaborated with the likes of two-time Grammy award winning Cuban master percussionist Arturo Stable, Grammy nominated jazz drummer Anwar Marshal, and his band made up of the top studio musicians in a city known for their talent.

Now he’s back with another live performance video, this time stripped back to just himself with an acoustic guitar and vocals.

In the song titled “Resignation,” Khemist laments about the struggles and self doubt of being an independent musician dedicated

to their craft. “Starting to think this shit just ain’t for me / gave everything but my soul it’s plain to see.”

PW recently caught up with Khemist to talk about his career, music and what lies ahead.

How has growing up in Logan Valley and living in the city influenced your music?

Logan has brought me joy and pain. In a childhood full of religion, drugs and violence, Logan introduced me to music and the arts.

My parents had a piano in the house where I lived. I never would focus enough to take it seriously though. I would only mess around on the keys when I was bored. At the time, I was interested in drawing and painting more than anything.

My mom placed me in art school when I was 12. I would get up every Saturday morning to go to Fleisher Art Memorial in South Philly.

It was there that I learned about different styles of art and how there’s no limit to creativity. Art inspires a large portion of my ideas.

In Logan my brother introduced me to rap music. I would listen to his cassette tapes when he wasn’t home and I would study what I heard on the radio.

I started to turn poems into raps. I later learned how to separate the two.

My uncle, Manly Pack, is a self-taught jazz pianist in Nicetown. I spent a lot of time with him at my grandma’s house. He taught me jazz. He would give me quick piano lessons and music theory lessons, but I was focused on other things. He also painted. He’s who pushed me to be more creative. He later handed me my first guitar. I now have 10.

I’ve lost friends and family in this neighborhood. I’m scarred from fights I had here. I’m scarred from acts of violence I’ve been close to. I learned about the different ways one can make money here. Here is where I began to think about this country as a system and the world as a whole. Here is where I learned to beware of dogs and be cautious of the police.

These are the things I write about. My songs are soundtracks to the struggles of black and brown people. I write songs to share with the world what’s going on where I’m from and in the large community that I’m a part of. My intent has always been to provoke thought and to heal. So many of us are in pain, including

“I’ve lost friends and family in this neighborhood. I’m scarred from fights I had here. I’m scarred from acts of violence I’ve been close to.

I learned about the different ways one can make money here. Here is where I began to think about this country as a system and the world as a whole. Here is where I learned to beware of dogs and be cautious of the police.”

SEE KHEMIST, PAGE 14

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14

MUSIC

Image | Brian Freeman

MARCH 19 - 26, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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KHEMIST, FROM PAGE 13 me. I write songs about being me and being black and I cross genres doing so. Logan has made me a songwriter.

How has your music evolved over the years?

The more I live and learn about life, the more ideas I have. My music includes more black history and spirituality references. I understand how powerful I actually am as a being. Traveling and practicing looking at the world through different lenses has influenced my writing. I continue to study the great authors of the world whose writing has always influenced mine. I want to rap as well as Octavia Butler writes.

I’ve also become more of a student in recent years. I am more interested in learning the music that was here before me. I’m studying chord progressions, lyrics and the song structures of music between the 1930’s to 1980’s. I’m interested in music theory. I want to create music that was tailored for me and the ideas that I have in my head. It took me getting a guitar to finally get close to that.

Shortly after I got a guitar, engineer Micah Forsyth introduced me to drummer/producer Anwar Marshall. Anwar understood my ideas right away and it wasn’t long before things began to click.

Being around musicians is now my preferred method of creating. There’s more flexibility and more willingness to experiment. Musically, I’m comfortable taking more risks now.

It finally feels like everything that I’ve been working on for years as far as being a writer, has a way to be expressed. I can actually play on guitar what I hear in my head. I have more control. I try more things with my voice.

You recently released a live performance video. It’s just you with an acoustic guitar and vocals. Talk a little about how “Resignation” came together and what it means to you.

Resignation was written out of frustration.

I wrote it during a time when I was going back and forth with lawyers, contracts, and getting some music things together.

“Resignation” expresses the battles of an independent artist in today’s music business while having to deal with real life outside of music. This was me entertaining the thought of resigning. The video was shot by Malix Media and Joe Grasso. The concept was Max Morgan’s idea. We wanted to do something

raw and right to the point.

People are always surprised when they see me rap and play the guitar. I’ve been working on this for years, and this is what has been opening doors for me recently. The guitar helps separate me from every other lyricist out there. The way the game is now, being a lyricist is not enough. Luckily, I’ve always cared about writing the better song than the better verse.

In the past, artists had to depend on radio to get their music to their fans, and about the only time they interacted was at a concert. The internet, social media and streaming services have changed all of that. How do you utilize modern technology to not only get your music to the masses, but also interact with your fans?

I release freestyles on Instagram called Image | Brian Freeman #Khemtrails. They’re all numbered and I’m up to number 35 now. These are quick, one-minute freestyles that I record with my phone camera whenever I feel like rapping and sharing something new. You won’t hear these freestyles anywhere else. This has helped me build fans and attract people who actually care about what I’m saying and the creativity of it. Instagram has been useful in spreading the word about new shows, new releases, and updates on what I’m doing.

I also have a mailing list that I use to keep fans updated who aren’t on social media. Artists are battling algorithms right now, so the best way to stay connected to fans is to actually be present in person. I’m usually somewhere at a jazz club, poetry spot, or somewhere around the arts when I’m in Philly. Follow the hashtag #Khemtrails.

What’s next for you? More new music?

Appearances? What’s the best way for people to keep up with Khemist?

My EP, “Khemtrails,” has been finished for some time. The entire EP is produced by Dyad (Anwar Marshall and Micah Forsyth) and features some world renowned musicians. I’m not in a rush to put it out though. When the time is right, everything is ready to go, but we worked too hard on this to have it fall on deaf ears.

The EP will show my range as a songwriter and musician. At the moment, I am writing for other artists’ projects while working on my own music as well. There will be more music and visuals dropping this spring. Follow me at @Khemist_LV.

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OF OUR

CITY

Disney+ for health care?

Over 10 million people have signed up for Disney+ since it launched last year. It’s easy to understand why. The service gives subscribers access to hundreds of movies and television shows for just $7 a month – no cable plan required.

Imagine if we applied that model to health care. For a flat monthly fee, subscribers could get everything from flu shots to lab tests “on demand” – no expensive, cumbersome insurance plan required.

This model already exists. It’s called direct primary care – and Americans young and old, rich and poor alike are increasingly turning to it as a means of securing affordable, high-quality health care.

Under direct primary care, a patient pays a doctor a subscription-style fee in exchange for access to an array of services. Just a decade ago, there were only a handful of direct primary care practices scattered across the country. Today, over 1,000 serve around half a million people in 49 states.

The model has flourished in part because many doctors no longer want to deal with insurance. Nearly 75 percent of physicians spend at least 10 hours each week on paperwork. Bureaucratic tasks are the largest contributor to physician burnout, which affects roughly half of all family medicine doctors.

Burnout is serious. Physicians who experience it are more likely to make medical errors.

Direct primary care can ease doctors’ workload, reduce risk of burning out, and give them more time to spend with patients.

Direct primary care visits often last up to an hour – four times longer than the usual 15-minute visit offered in traditional practices.

Putting a doctor on retainer may sound

like it’s beyond the means of most Americans. But it costs less than the average cable bill. Direct primary care patients typically pay between $50 and $100 each month for a host of services. Many direct primary care providers also offer discounts on prescription drugs.

Consider Kansas City Direct Primary Care, where adults 26 and over pay $65 a month for unlimited primary and urgent care visits and 24/7 access to a physician.

Members also get home visits and access to reduced-price labs, medicines, and specialist services. For $140 a month, two parents can get that same level of coverage for themselves and all children under 18.

For some people, that’s a much better deal than traditional insurance. The average lowest-cost plan for sale on Obamacare’s exchanges this year features a $331 monthly premium. Last year, family coverage on the exchanges ran $1,154 a month, on average.

Those high premiums don’t buy much in the way of medical services.

Patients may struggle to find a doctor who will take their insurance. Once they do, they still have to shell out thousands of dollars to meet their deductibles – before they receive a dime from their insurers.

In other words, direct primary care could provide a worthy alternative to the expensive Obamacare status quo. Many patients could receive better care at lower cost by pairing a direct primary care arrangement with a high-deductible, catastrophic policy that they only tapped if they sustained a medical emergency.

The subscription model has transformed how Americans watch movies, buy groceries, and more.

As direct primary care shows, it can transform health care, too.

Sally C. Pipes is president, CEO, and the Thomas W. Smith fellow in health-care policy at the Pacific Research Institute.

MARCH 19 - 26, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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THE SHOUT OUT Image | wikimedia commons

“For the record, if I do get the coronavirus I’m attending every MAGA rally I can.”

– A tweet from Denver, Col., Councilwoman Candi CdeBaca, as reported by KDVR-TV. For the record, her office later said the tweet was “sarcastic.”

Your turn: OK, well, that’s not our first choice, but it’s an option, we guess. So what are your plans if you get the coronavirus? Home and Netflix?

Visiting political rallies? Something else?

Send your thoughts to voices@philadelphiaweekly.com

VOICES OF OUR CITY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

17

SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS With all of us having to stay inside for the foreseeable future, thanks to the coronavirus, it’s made for quite the fodder on Twitter. Some of you like to just rant, some of you are offering really great information but all are worth a read. Below are a few of your best tweets, Philly. Keep em coming and we’ll keep sharing to the masses.

The one good thing about this #QuarantineLife is not seeing a bunch of obnoxious, drunk, loud white college kids who hurl racial slurs while smelling like cheap beer on this #StPatricksDay in #Philly. @MrErnestOwens

Image courtesy: Ronald Williams | @ronwilliams215

Feel like the girl from the movie “Everything,Everything” cause this virus making me feel like I can’t leave the house or imma die #Philly @LeeeBenji

Philadelphia halts evictions as coronavirus bears down: whyy.org/articles/phila… (but I just heard a friend and her family are getting evicted, soo... who should they call?) #Philly #Eviction @CityCouncilPHL @PHLTenantsUnion @NualaCabral

Train is really empty. City skyline looks eerie with the grey fog and rain. Philly looks sad. I half expect tumbleweeds to come blowing down market street. #philly @PearlyPearl FYI world, @DA_LarryKrasner is the perfectly rotten balance of Charles Manson and Jim Jones...Philly drank the Kool-aid... sucks so much to be here. #philly #coronavirus #CoronavirusOutbreak #TuesdayThoughts #TuesdayMorning #justice #disgusting @SheddingLight4 My 15 yr old, reacting to news of shootings in the city: Good thing to know we’re still #Philly even with all this #coronavirus stuff. #Philadelphia #GunControlNow @KathyDettmer

Rittenhouse sandwich shop #Tortorices at 20th & Locust is offering FREE lunches for school children in need of a meal in the midst of the school shutdown. @NBCPhiladelphia #Coronavirus #Philly @AunyeaLachelle

A man outside of rite aid walked up to me today and said “I wouldn’t tell anyone if I got the coronavirus because they would quarantine me” … #CoronavirusOutbreak #COVID19 #Philadelphia #Philly @IlCreations

Philly liquor stores close in 30 minutes and you same sick fucks that took the entire city’s supply of toilet paper are probably the same ones that took all the boxed wine.

Although the wet wipes have been a welcomed addition to my life #Philly #coronapocolypse #SilverLining @_WorstPimpEver

I’ve never seen anything like it. In #Philly differently named neighborhoods are only so many blocks apart. I’ve driven through 3 of them and there is nobody out. This pleases me It means people are woke #CountryShutdown #CoronaVirus #StayHome #COVID19 #Pandemic #ResignTrump @Madamyez

Day 1 of being required to work thru quarantine. it’s sad to be in the office with coughing co workers who are required to show up to keep their jobs. what a slap in the face to health and safety. @GovernorTomWolf @NBCPhiladelphia @FOX29philly @6abc @PhillyWeekly @seiu668 #COVID2019 #Philly @PhillyNSurly

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 19 - 26, 2020

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The targeting of Kenyatta Johnson Philadelphia has always been a hotbed of political debate and discussion since the Constitutional Convention – the foundation landmark of constitutional heritage and the lark of for liberty, justice and freedom.

Most recently, the U.S. Attorney’s indictment of Philadelphia Councilman Kenyatta Johnson has once again put the city back under the microscope of constitutional examination. The Trump Administration has always been eager to pay back perceived political enemies.

Under Attorney General Barr, the Justice Department has zealously carried the mantle for the Trump Administration’s McCarthyism search and pursuit for enemies of the state. Hence, the targeting of Councilman Kenyatta Johnson for performing constituent services. Everyone should review the underlying facts associated with the government’s case and its implications for constituent services.

Mr. Johnson is considered a conscientious public official with a history of arranging meetings for constituents, contacting other governmental agencies on their behalf, and including them in events all the time. The basic compact underlying representative government assumes that public officials will hear from their constituents and act appropriately on their concerns.

A lot of things should be contested and warrant a thorough investigation by voters and onlookers of the 2nd District for which the councilman has proudly served for many years since his potential ascending as an effectively elected state representative. Case law reference should reflect upon former Philadelphia native Robert McDonnell over-

coming similar obstacles as a legal reminder to the caveat emptor (buyer beware) tracking of jurisprudence regarding the operatives within the Justice Department. Mr. McDonnell is a former Virginia governor whose federal corruption conviction was overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court.

In the words of Chief Justice Roberts, “There is no doubt that this case is distasteful; it may be worse than that but our concern is not with tawdry tales of … . It is instead with the broader legal implications of the Government’s boundless interpretation of the federal bribery statute.”

Assuredly, I am contesting the measures and knowledge for which the U.S. Attorney officials are pursuing the case against Johnson and their incursion for public demonizing and subliminal suggestiveness that late award-winning and bestselling author Toni Morrison has entrenched as, “Whiteness Imagination Playing in the Dark.” I am refusing to partake in name-calling and backstabbing, but call upon the public, voters and those others of constituency to practice patience and pursue the redemption of empowerment.

The goodness within all of us shall emerge and hopefully prevail as the evidence of things unseen, and it’s OK for me and you all to publicly display the righteousness of indignation. We have fought long and hard for People of Color to accept and take the mantle as change agents, and sometimes misconceptions or misinformation can easily lead to the misfortune of happenings, circumstances and occurrence.

Maurice Henderson is a majority inspector of elections in Philadelphia and the president of the National Men of Color Association. He has served on the faculty of Temple University’s PASCEP since 1985 and is currently a faculty associate with the Intercollegiate Studies Institute.

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Image | Marc Babin

Thou shall not be bored Y Screw the virus, let’s have some fun (at home)

How about the easiest foreign language ou’re used to seeing a list of the best and most exciting to learn? Can you share a favorite recipe (cocktails would be best)? If you cut your events Philly has to offer in own hair or dye it, and it turns out goofy, this space every week. please send photos we can post online. If But those events are no you’re able to teach your dog to talk, or more – at least for a few you dress them up in a funny weeks. They are outfit, please share the video. victims of the Businesses, we want to hear dreaded coronavirus.

BY EUGENE from you too. We know the viHowever, that shouldn’t ZENYATTA rus and new rules have hit you mean we have to sentence ourhard. selves to sitting on the couch How are you adapting? Do and watching endless TV and internet reports of how the virus is con- you offer services or specials that even people who have been told to limit their suming life as we know it.

There are better things to do – and PW activity can still participate in? Take-out?

Delivery? Online activities? We want to wants to help spread the word. But to do that, we need everyone’s help. This is a know. The people want to know. The people need to know. crisis, people, step up to the plate.

Please send your ideas, specials, whatWe need your best suggestions for passing the time while you self-isolate ever coronavirus-related, self-isolated activities to mail@philadelphiaweekly.com and do your part to “flatten the curve.”

What’s the best drinking game to play or hit us up on social. We will share them with everyone. You just might be saving a (and please don’t say “virus”)? The leastlife – at least a life from boredom. talked-about-but-best shows to stream?

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | MARCH 19 - 26, 2020

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MUSIC

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Glitter-grunge rockers The Hollywood Horses are pulling their van with 280,000 miles on it into Pharmacy on April 5 – if the show still goes on. Image | Courtesy The Hollywood Horses

5 Questions: T The Hollywood Horses

See the ‘three sexiest pieces of meat this side of the Jersey Turnpike’

he Hollywood Horses spend most their music and their April 5 performance at of their free time drinking cham- Pharmacy (it’s still on the schedule as of press pagne, eating strawberries, and time, but check with the venue closer to the trying on clothes in their favorite show), which also will include local comediconsignment shop. Sometimes, ans Gregg Gethard and Jason Sims, as well they buy the best outfits of the as local bands Johnny Petunia and Sheena & day.

Thee Nosebleeds.

When they’re all out of fabuTalk a little about how the band came lous games to play, the band spends together and how the name Hollythe rest of its hours writing precious wood Horses came about. melodies and rocking harder than Andrew Hollywood: We’ve been

BY EUGENE most. playing together for years. EveryZENYATTA The Horses have kind of a chip one was in bands of considerably on their shoulder about it all. Someless talent and character. Fortuthing to prove. nately, we all met at various shows, Actually, the Birmingham, Alabama-based abandoned those sinking ships, and here we glitter-grunge rockers already have proven a are. lot. Last year alone, they released their “FunBreely Flower: And after going through litny Sexy Cool” album and took home the grand erally 18 other bass players, we knew Michael prize at the Sidewalk Film Fest Music Video was special.

Contest for “Heavy Rubber Gloves.”

AH: The name Hollywood Horses came Their song “Girl” also won the 2017 John about because it’s the first thing that came off Lennon Songwriting Contest. the top of my head when I was thinking of a PW recently caught up with Breely Flower band name that sounded the way we need to (drums, vocals) and Andrew Hollywood (gui- sound. tar, synth, vocals), who, along with bassist MiHollywood = sexy, Horse = powerful. Horses chael Hollywood (relax, they’re stage names), = plural, ‘cuz there are three of us. make up The Hollywood Horses to talk about BF: I take all the credit for that one.

MARCH 19 - 26, 2020 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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MUSIC

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Alabama-based Hollywood Horses are scheduled, for now, to appear at Pharmacy April 5. Image | Courtesy The Hollywood Horses

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Your sound has been described as “glitter grunge” and “a mix of power-pop, glam, alt-rock.” Is that accurate? How would you describe your sound and its influences?

BF: Yes, we wear glitter.

AH: If that’s what someone says about us, then it must be true. We just make music.

What everyone says and thinks about it is out of our hands. A wise person might say that it’s none of my business what you think of me.

And that wise person would be right, like most wise people always are. Our influences are bands that also kick ass. Look good, sing some melodies, rock ass.

BF: Yes, we’ve been compared to the Breeders, Nirvana, T. Rex, Sonic Youth, My Bloody Valentine, the White Stripes, Joan Jett, the Replacements, Patty Smith, the Muffs, Best, and … Rush? Huh? And many more that I can’t remember, but I would rather know one thing. Don’t tell me what it sounds like but, “IS IT GOOD?” “DO YA LIKE WHAT YA HEAR?” Tell me, babies.

You’re in the midst of a tour that will take you to more than 20 cities in less than a month. How is life on the road these days?

Is it difficult to keep a high energy level after days and days on the road?

AH: We love touring. Eight to 100 shows a year is usually more fun than work. We tour to play shows in places where we don’t live. This is a fun thing. New cities, new venues, new faces, same old beer. That should be enough to keep the energy up. You should ask my van though. It just passed 280,000 miles. Hang on, I will ask my van if it’s difficult to keep the energy up.

BF: Life on the road consists of a few things only. How many half jars of peanut butter can I not eat? It also consists of me making peanut butter sandwich bagels for Andrew while he steers the ship.

AH: With banana.

BF: As long as we’re all laughing together, my energy levels stay high. Humor is essential. We’re laughing at everything.

AH: Not me.

BF: Our sanity is dependent on how many Bucee’s and Wawa’s we can yell at in between cities. We will all need therapy at some point for sure.

AH: Yes. My van says that 280,000 miles is a long way and the thought of going on tour for another month makes it tired already. You know what gets my energy level slumping?

Booking 100 shows a year. Hey, somebody take over booking duties for me and help us play shows that make big $$$.

What can your fans expect to see April 5 at your Philly show? What’s the Hollywood Horses’ stage show look like?

AH: They can expect to see us rocking ass and looking like the three sexiest pieces of meat this side of the Jersey Turnpike, at least for 30 minutes. I’m looking forward to some good laughs from comedians Gregg Gethard and Pennyslvania’s newest Philadelphian, Jason Sims. They will also see, and maybe even hear, music from two other locals, Petunia and Sheena & Thee Nosebleeds. I hope that people at the show also see other people at the show.

That would be good for everyone. Especially us and Pharmacy.

What does the future hold for you? Where do you want to be in a year or five years?

AH: Well, I assume the person that is going to take over booking big $$$ shows for us is reading this article right now. Hello, person.

Thank you for reading the Philadelphia Weekly interview with the Hollywood Horses. Within a year, I hope there will be an article in the PW where I’m talking about how great it is to have more time to work on music, Tae-Bo, and memorizing every episode of the Simpsons and X-Files now that we have someone booking big $$$ shows for us. In five years, maybe we’ll be so big that the Philadelphia Daily or even Manayunk Monthly will want to interview us. Then, I’ll write the Worst American Novel. BTW, New Jersey sucks!

BF: Is this a job interview?

The Hollywood Horses | Sunday, April 5 at Pharmacy, 1300 S. 18th St. thepharmacyphilly. org

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Quickies DEAR READERS: I live in Seattle, the U.S. that?” And then the demisexual has to say, epicenter of the novel coronavirus epidemic, “I’m someone who needs to feel a strong emowith my family. A lot of my readers tional connection before wanting to wrote this week to wish us well. We fuck someone.” So leading with “I’m are fine – scared, but fine – washa demisexual” seems like a waste of ing our hands compulsively and time to me. But it does extend the staying close to home. I’m going to amount of time the speaker gets to keep churning out the column and talk about him/her/themselves … recording my podcast, while being and who doesn’t love talking about careful to maintain a safe social disthemselves? tance from the tech-savvy, at-risk Anyway, DT, you’re someone who youth. I’m hoping the column and enjoys dirty talk. There isn’t a spepodcast are welcome distractions. cial term (or pride flag) for you that Please take care of yourselves, take I could find – I did a little half-heartcare of the people around you, and ed googling myself– and I don’t wash your damn hands. think you need one. You can get by Q: I’m wondering if you know of with “I’m someone who enjoys dirty a word that describes the fetish of talk.” @FAKEDANSAVAGE getting off from talking dirty. I’ve Q: My wife and I have been marsearched a lot, and I can’t find a ried for a little over two years. We label for this kink or fetish. While both have demanding jobs, but googling around, I did learn some new terms, she admits to being a workaholic and spends like “katoptronophilia” (being aroused by hav- almost every night on the couch answering ing sex in front of mirrors) and “pubephilia” emails and binge-watching Bravo. I’ve resort(being aroused by pubic hair), but I can’t seem ed to getting high most nights to cover up for to find one that describes my kink. the fact that I’m very unhappy. Despite being – Dirty Talker overworked, she’s startI’m old enough to ed a side hustle selling remember when peoskin-care products to her ple who needed to feel friends, most of whom a strong emotional she rarely sees in perconnection before they son. wanted to fuck someone Bottom line: I didn’t got by without a word sign up for this. I’m beor a pride flag of their yond bored and want to very own. They just said, travel and explore. But “I’m someone who needs she refuses to give up to feel a strong emotional connection before the side hustle and dial back her work or her wanting to fuck someone.” drinking. We both earn comfortable salaries But now they can say, “I’m a demisexual,” a and we don’t need the extra income. Would five-syllable, vaguely scientific-sounding term I be justified in leaving because of her newthat first popped up in an online forum in 2006. found hobby?

Unfortunately, when someone says, “I’m a – Basically Over Redundant Enrichment demisexual,” the usual response is, “What’s Side hustle or no, BORE, you aren’t

DAN SAVAGE

“I suppose it’s possible you have a ‘thing’ for black guys now. (What’s that thing they say?

Actually, let’s not say it.)”

SAVAGE LOVE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

happy, and that’s reason enough to leave.

And while you won’t (or shouldn’t) be doing much traveling anytime soon, you can find a lawyer, search for a new apartment, and initiate divorce proceedings while your wife sits on the couch answering work emails and pushing skin-care products to her friends.

I would typically encourage someone in your shoes to risk telling the truth before walking out – you’re unhappy, you’re bored, you don’t want to live like this anymore – but it sounds like your mind is made up. So use your time at home over the next couple of weeks to make your escape plan.

Q: I’m a young white woman, and my last boyfriend, a black man, left me two weeks ago.

Ever since, I have been masturbating only while thinking about black guys.

My question is: Do I have a “thing” for black guys now? I’ve accepted that our relationship is over, but it was really intense. I feel disgusting after I masturbate, because it feels gross and not respectful toward my as to say,ex somehow. What rong emo-do you think? wanting to – Desperately with “I’mHorny For Black a waste of Men xtend the Masturbate ker gets toabout whatever mselves …the fuck turns you king abouton, DHFBM, and if you’re worried meone whosomeone would find sn’t a spe-your masturbatory r you thatfantasies disrespecthalf-heart-ful … don’t tell that d I don’tperson about your can get bymasturbatory fantasies. I suppose it’s possible njoys dirtyyou have a “thing” for black guys now. (What’s that thing they say? Actually, let’s not say it.) been mar-Unless you are treating black guys as objects years. Weand not people, or you fetishize blackness jobs, butin a way that makes black sex partners feel nd spendsdegraded (in unsexy, nonconsensual ways) answeringor used (in ways they don’t wish to be used), ve resort-don’t waste your time worrying about your ver up forfantasies. Worry about your actions. pite being Q: I’m a 35-year-old woman in a long-term he’s start-cohabiting relationship with a man. We tle sellingopened our relationship about six months ucts to herago, and it’s going very well and we both have of whomFWBs. My primary partner and I are going es in per-to be getting engaged soon, and I’m wondering what my responsibility is to my FWB of : I didn’tfive months. Do I make a special effort to tell s. I’m be-him about the engagement – on the phone or d want toin person, like I plan to tell family members plore. Butand close friends? Or is it OK if he finds out o give upvia social media like other people I’ve known ork or herfor only five months or less would? My getting e salariesengaged (or married) won’t prevent me from me. Wouldremaining his FWB. her new- – Wanna Be Ethical Golden rule this shit, WBE: If your FWB hment got engaged, would you want to find out via ou aren’t

social media or would you want him to tell you personally? I’m guessing you’d rather hear it from him. You’ve known your FWB for only five months, it’s true, and other five-monthsor-less friends don’t rate hearing it from you personally. But you aren’t fucking your other five-months-or-less friends. A little more consideration for your feelings is – or should be – one of the benefits.

Q: I used to live in a college town. While there, I hooked up with a gorgeous guy. He had an amazing smile, a nice body, and the most perfect natural dick I’ve ever seen. (Can we please stop saying “uncut”? It’s so disgustingly plastic surgery-ish.) We hooked up a couple times, and he was so much fun.

A couple of years later, in another town, he showed up out of the blue at my new job.

It was awkward at first, but it got better over the couple of years we worked together. I always wanted to just sneak him into the bathroom and give him another blowjob. He still lives in the same town, and I want to message him to see if he’s up for some more fun. We haven’t spoken in years – and last I heard, he was still not out. I want to message him, but I’m wondering whether there’s a time limit to reconnecting with someone? Fuck, man, he was so hot, and his natural, big, veiny dick was maybe the most perfect cock I’ve ever seen.

– Big Ol’ Dick Seeing as you haven’t spoken to this man in years, BOD, I’m going to assume you no longer work together. And seeing as you hooked up more than once back in that college town, I’m going to assume he liked your blowjobs. And seeing as there’s a worldwide pandemic on, and seeing as life is short, and seeing as dick is delicious, I’m going to give you the OK to send this guy a message.

Social media has made it possible for people to reach out to first loves, exes, and old hookups. And so long as the reacher outer is respectful, has reason to believe their message won’t tear open old wounds, and instantly takes “no” for an answer (and no response = no), there’s nothing wrong with reaching out.

And while social-distancing protocols will prevent you from sucking that gorgeous natural dick anytime soon, BOD, who doesn’t need something to look forward to right now?

On the Lovecast, love drugs! How therapeutic are they? Listen at savagelovecast.com.

“Unfortunately, when someone says, ‘I’m a demisexual,’ the usual response is, ‘What’s that?’

And then the demisexual has to say, ‘I’m someone who needs to feel a strong emotional connection before wanting to fuck someone.’”

THERE’S ALWAYS MORE OF SAVAGE TO LOVE! Read: PhillyWeekly.com Have a question?: mail@savagelove.net

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FOR RENT Apartments for Rent

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Notice of Public Sale The following self-storage Cube contents containing household and other goods will be sold for cash by CubeSmart 501 Callowhill St Philadelphia PA 19123 (215)627-3510 to satisfy a lien on April 8, 2020 at 6 PM at: www.storagetreasures.com: Unit 4009 Peter John Wirs

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Notice of Public Sale The following self-storage Cube contents containing household and other goods will be sold for cash by CubeSmart 501 Callowhill St Philadelphia PA 19123 (215)627-3510 to satisfy a lien on April 6, 2020 at 6 PM at: www.storagetreasures.com: Unit 1048 Maurice Hall/FS Jeans Unit 2012 Bethanie Walker Unit 2053 Joseph Edward Greco Unit 2055 Jeffrey S Vandenberg Unit 2058 Alexis Plater Unit 2067 Jade Johnson Unit 2096 Toni Leslie Unit 2134 Zubair Abdul-Wahhab Unit 2196 Arthur L Long Jr Unit 3163 Zubair Abdul-Wahhab Unit 5148 Kevin Moragne PROFESSIONAL SERVICES Income Tax / Accounting

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BELLA VITA AT PACKER PARK Offers a Beautiful Life

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Kathy Conway & Patrick Conway, REALTORS® Kathy 215-850-3842 | Patrick 215-266-1537 | conwayteam@gmail.com | conwayteam.com 530 Walnut Street, Suite 480 | Philadelphia, PA 19106 | 215-627-6005 office ©2020 BHH Affiliates, LLC. An independently operated subsidiary of HomeServices of America, Inc., a Berkshire Hathaway affiliate, and a franchisee of BHH Affiliates, LLC. Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices and the Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices symbol are registered service marks of HomeServices of America, Inc.® Information not verified or guaranteed. If your home is currently listed with a Broker, this is not intended as a solicitation. Equal Housing Opportunity. Artist’s concept for illustrative purposes only and may not represent actual site conditions and/or landscaping. Developer and/or builder reserve the right to modify plans. Site plan is not shown to scale. In the interest of continuous improvements and to meet changing market conditions, the builder reserves the right to modify specifications and features without notice or obligation. Please consult sales representative for more information.

Sold | Washington Square West

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This light filled, one of a kind, architecturally designed home evokes a popular European style with modern details throughout. It features a dramatic open center staircase, a large contemporary kitchen, and a dynamic two-story living room which opens onto a beautiful sunken garden with decking and a glass wall of doors providing natural light, plus an upper paved deck. There’s more: A 1-car garage & 3 years left on the Tax Abatement!

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New Price | Graduate Hospital Welcome home to this classic brick, traditional Philadelphia home but with a wide and open floor plan that accommodates the entire first floor. The expansive living room with hardwood floors leads you to the brick patio.

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1919 CHESTNUT STREET, PHILADELPHIA

• Rittenhouse Square • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center • Valet parking • 24 hr security • 24 hr Maintenance • All utilities included • Includes real estate tax no transfer tax UNIT #2904 3 Bed | 2 Bath | 1,404 Sq Ft | $700,000

UNIT #923/24 3 Bed | 2 Bath | 1,581 Sq Ft | $484,900

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421 OLD GULPH RD, PENN VALLEY 4 Bed | 2.2 Bath | 3,197 Sq Ft | $769,000

788 PANORAMA RD, VILLANOVA 4 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 3,185 Sq Ft | $749,500

4802 RENOIR LN, SCHWENKSVILLE 5 Bed | 4.1 Bath | 4258 Sq Ft | $544,000

2840 MILLER ST, PHILADELPHIA 2 Bed | 1 Bath | 872 Sq Ft | $169,999

LISTINGS

UNIT #1914 1 Bed | 1 Bath | 825 Sq Ft | $299,000

UNIT #523 Studio | 1 Bath | 495 Sq Ft | $185,000

THE KENNEDY HOUSE • Rittenhouse Square • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center • Parking • 24 HR Security • 24 HR Maintenance • All Utilities Included • Includes Real Estate Tax

3 Bed | 2.1 Bath | 1,455 Sq Ft | $465,000

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Lot | 0.58 Acres | $75,000

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Commercial | 3,934 Sq Ft | $749,900

4 Bed | 3.1 Bath | 2,744 Sq Ft | $485,000 Lot | 0.5 Acres | $150,000

UNIT #814 2 Bed | 1 Bath | 825 Sq Ft | $339,000

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1608 JOHNSON RD, PLYMOUTH MEETING 2224 CARPENTER ST, PHILADELPHIA

0 CHERRY LN, LANSDOWNE

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MAIN LINE CONDOS

4 Bed | 1 Bath | 1,776 Sq Ft | $220,000

1 Bed | 1 Bath | 943 Sq Ft | $139,900

2 Bed | 3 Bath | 2,000 Sq Ft | $199,900

191 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, #R601, BALA CYNWYD 3900 FORD RD, #23B, PHILADELPHIA

UNIT #1024-1025 2 Bed | 2 Bath | 1,165 Sq Ft | $449,000

UNIT #2911 Studio | 1 Bath | 522 Sq Ft | $174,900

UNIT #1512 Studio | 1 Bath | 475 Sq Ft | $165,000

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